


"I just wanted to buy my friend's groceries."

by Teterere



Category: Monster Prom (Visual Novel)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Arson, Baking, Blushing, Boys In Love, But he's trying, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack Treated Seriously, Damien's an idiot, Dorks, Dorks in Love, Dorky Oz, Eldritch Oz, Eldritch Zoe, Emotions, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Explosions, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gay Panic, Genocidal Teenagers, Headcanon, Horny Teenagers, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Love is blind and stupid sometimes, M/M, Magic, Male Pronouns for Yellow | Oz, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, OOC Violet & Tate, Phobias, Pining, Portals, Randomness, Secret Crush, Secrets, Self Confidence Issues, Shapeshifter Yellow | Oz, Shenanigans, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, So much blushing, Spooky High, Sweet, Tags May Change, Top Damien, accidental attempted murder, goofballs, like seriously, supportive dads, these stupid teenagers almost kill each other on a regular basis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:07:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 50
Words: 404,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25082863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teterere/pseuds/Teterere
Summary: Oz is going on a grocery run for his best friends Vicky, Amira, and Brian when he realizes he forgot Amira's illegal alcohol. With his night already going bad Oz isn't actually that surprised when a red demon starts a fight with a cyclopse in Amira's favourite store. Intervening and stopping the store from getting destroyed is Oz's plan, so getting yelled at by the demon he just saved is another unwelcome surprise. At least he'll never have to see that guy again, right? The world was never so kind to Oz.Pretty much this is me thinking that an overpowered Oz keeps acidentally meeting up with the chaos that is Damien LeVay. At some point Oz just says screw it and goes along with Damien's crap. Along the way they become best friends before Spooky High and Oz ends up kinda being a part of the popular kids at his new school without knowing it. Fluff, Crack, and Misunderstandings in love inevitably ensue. No proofing so just read through the typoes please. :)
Relationships: Aaravi the Slayer/Dahlia Aquino, Blue | Vicky/Scott Howl, Damien LaVey/Yellow | Oz, Dmitri/Interdimensional Prince (Monster Prom), Green | Brian/Liam de Lioncourt, Tate/Violet (Monster Prom), Vera Oberlin/Red | Amira, Yellow | Oz & Kale, Yellow | Oz & Z'gord | Zoe
Comments: 486
Kudos: 952
Collections: Behold the Sacred Texts





	1. It starts...

**Author's Note:**

> So I got really into the ship between Oz and Damien along with a few other ships in monster prom. Pretty much, I just decided they're were no long running stories and I wanted to fix that. The description summarizes this chapter already.

"Aww fuck… I forgot Amira's alcohol," Oz projected to nobody in particular while standing three blocks away from the supermarket he just shadow jumped from. He's going over the list of things his friends sent him out to get and is getting more and more downtrodden as he realizes he'll have to go back to the shady business he just left.

Apparently, being a supposed fearling that can travel through shadows makes you your friend's grocery runner, even though Oz and his friends don't even live together. Not that he really minds anyways since it makes him feel useful to his relatively new friend group. God, that was a development in itself. Oz now has three friends that weren't one of his phobias. Not that he really knew what friends were since Vicky, Brian, and Amira are the first people he really met once he decided to get out more before he starts highschool. In fact Oz has really only known them for a few months, but he thinks they fit the description of friends well.

He means, they pull pranks, eat lunch together, skip class in a group, and cover up murders so Oz thinks that counts as being buddies. They even supposedly like hanging around him despite Oz almost never talking unless talked to. He only ever rarely got the group into the kind of trouble that the others did. (And it's usually on accident when some unfortunate monster decides to pick on Oz in front of said friends) 

They probably don't really like Oz with his awkward habits and dorky hobbies, but Oz will take what he can get and run with it while he can. Even if it'll just end up biting him in the ass eventually.

It's already past Midnight Oz thinks as he looks up a the night sky. Oz then glances down the road. Nobody in their right minds would walk the back allies of this part of town, monster or not, at this time. Well, except Oz, because he's not even sure he can die. He's less sure he can really get hurt even if he feels pain. Being the immortal incarnation of fear itself has it's upsides despite it's much more prominate downsides.

Oz's phone plays a loud pop music mix that signaled that somebody in the group chat is getting impatient waiting for their late night groceries. Oz opens the chat up to tell his friends he'll be to their houses soon so they don't have to worry about him. That was also new. Apparently his new friends worried about him. When he stayed out too late while not texting, didn't eat, (Oz didn't need to eat normal food) or spent a suspiciously long time in the bathroom after a tiring class or student interaction.

Once the phone is out Oz quickly switches to the group chat and reads what his friends are talking about.

☆Sparky☆: Have u got the gud stuff yet banana boi

UndeadRiot: Hasn't showed up to my house yet with my snax yet.

BlazinHot: i woudnt blame him if he skipped your house with how terible those stupid brain flavored chips r

UndeadRiot: You just don't have taste.

BlazinHot: I'll have fucking taste till Oz brings me my fucking stuff to get wasted!

☆Sparky☆: Amira you know your prob going to just keep it in your closet so you can brag about having illegal alcohol

BlazinHot: Whatev Oz u better get Sparky here her electro pwer soon. she's getting grumpy and you know what happens when she gets grumpy

UndeadRiot: You piss her off and end up teaming up with her to steal car batteries from cars in parking lots as an apology, get chased by the cops for said theft, and then Vicky causes another city wide power outage when you end up at the power plant.

Blazin Hot: Tfhshgajesj Fuck u brian that was once and that was because somebody didn't tell me that taking car parts is still as illegal as car theft

If Oz could smile now would be the time. His friends were the embodiment of chaos, and said adventures like the power plant incident happen all the time. He answers back before he can get to distracted by their antics.

Yellow boi: Sry. Forgot Amira's alcohol and I gotta jump back real quick. Don't worry though I already got everything else.

(Everybody made Oz pick a group chat nickname and that's the best he could come up with at the time)

As Oz puts his phone back in his pocket another set of replies are sent to his phone in the form of small vibrations and the same overly cheerful ringtone Vicky chose for him.

Oz walks around the nearest street corner and walks directly into the wall. Well, not the wall, but the shadow from another wall that was projected on this wall from a streetlight. Just as he does it he finds himself back in the store that sells underage and shady teens underhanded goods. Fast travel is what Oz is good at. Oz walks around the small store's aisles and once he finds Amira's favorite booze he heads to the check out.

There were only two monsters in line and at first Oz didn't have the enough concern to actually inspect them. However, when the first places an egregious amount of the same alcohol Oz is buying on the counter he raises an eyebrow and lets his curiosity take hold.

It looked to be some type of fire demon if the red skin and forked tail was anything to go by. Two long red horns jutted from his head and he is wearing, well, trashy clothes in Oz's opinion. 

The red demon slams something on the counter and the loud sound makes the other monster behind the red guy flinch. Oz felt the monster's fearful distress almost immediatly and let his curiosity take control again. Oz gently prodded the monster's mind with his powers to hear their fears.

Immediately a string of thoughts assault his brain. Oz is used to this though and focuses, 'OH MY GOD IT'S DAMIEN. If he starts a fight her the whole store is going up in flames and I'll die when he destroys this place-'

Having seen enough of the poor monster's fear and because he's just a tiny bit hungry Oz very subtly touches their back lighty without them noticing. A black mist similar in shade to Oz's pitch black body is absorbed by the hand touching the nervous monster and soon after they visibly relax in line. Oz metaphorically sighs at the pleasure of eating someone else's fearful emotions. Even though it's not the kind of fear he prefers he's gotten used to substitutes with his new and overall better lifestyle.

The cashier and the red demon are now arguing loudly in the front of the store over the amount of money due for payment. Actually scratch that, it seems the cashier is fearfully trying to tell the angry demon that he doesn't have enough money to buy all that alcohol while said demon was cursing and threatening the cashier's very existence.

At this point Coulrophobia and Cynophobia are doubled over on Oz's shoulder silently laughing at the demon, this exchange, and Oz's internal exasperation at the current events. Then suddenly, what looked like a cyclopse throws the door to the tiny store open and immediatly locks on to the red demon at the register.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" The cyclopse's bellow causes the cashier to flee to the back of the store and the other monster in line to flee out the emergency exit which- of course the fucking fire alarm is one of the few things that work in this busted down place. This is just Oz's luck. He can already feel the migraine forming from the screaming and blaring alarm. Oz is going to need some fucking tea later for this shit.

The cyclopse charges the red demon and Oz kinda wished he had payed attention to the name in that other monster's fear so be could stop calling him 'the red demon' because that sounds like a comic book superhero name, and this guy is none of that.

Oz stands completly still as the demon jumps over the counter of the store and out of the way of the charging cyclopse. The demon then starts chucking random items at the angered monster with one hand and reaches into his pocket and pulls out a dagger with the other. A real dagger… why does Oz have to deal with this again?

The dagger is lit aflame with what Oz could only assume is fire magic as the demon lunges off the counter and at the cyclopse's back with a maniac smile. As the battle ensues more phobias start springing up all over Oz's visible body to watch the show. All of them are making small squeaking noises as they cheer on the fighters.

Oz lacks their enthusiasm and is standing still and debating the consequences of just letting this fight play out to the end. On one side, if he leaves now he gets Amira's alcohol for free. On the otherhand the shop might get destroyed from the fight and Amira will no longer be able to get illegal goods from this shady store. 

At that thought Oz panics, Amira wouldn't blame him for this would she? If she can't get anymore alcohol would she decide that he wasn't worth being friends with. Would Amira convince Vicky and Brian the same. Surely she wouldn't, right? No she absolutly wouldn't. Amira said she thinks Oz is cool even if she gets annoyed with him sometimes, but still Oz reasons, he didn't want his friends to be sad. Just in case of the worst outcome Oz took the better option of intervening now.

Still standing in the exact same spot Oz devises a plan as the demon attempts to stab the cyclopse in the chest. Oz quickly walks towards the exit and sets everthing he had for his friends on the ground, safely away from the violence. Then without alerting the still extremely angry fighters Oz grabbed one of the broken bottle necks from the ground created by the carnage.

Waiting for the right moment Oz waits for the cyclopse to step back. Unknowingly to the demon fighting recklessly, he provided Oz with the perfect moment to strike when he made the cyclopse stumble back and turn his head towards Oz.

Oz lunged forward awkwardly using his moldable form as a spring to send him flying towards the cyclopse's head. Oz really wishes he could frown when the cyclopse makes no attempt to move as Oz uses the broken bottle neck to stab the one eye on the guy's head. If this guy was going to pick fights with demons he should get better reflexes.

With a bloodcurdling scream the cyclopse falls to the ground with a loud thud and blood starts pooling from their one large eye. They start whimpering in fear and pain as they claw at the broken glass in their head.

"WHAT THE HELL! THAT WAS MY FUCKING KILL YOU DAMN NOOB!"  
Oz looks up at the raging demon and his eyes brows scrunch together in confusion. Did he do something to upset this demon? 

"What? Did I do something wrong?" Oz forgot that his mental communication thing startles most people and only remember when the demon's eyes widen and he searches around the store for the source of voice he just heard, "Oh, sorry that's me. The teen who stabbed the guy on the ground. I forgot most people aren't used to the brain talking thing."

Almost imediatly the demon's gaze snaps back to Oz and his face turns downright murdurous, "You're so fucking lucky that you technically got me free fucking alcohol and I gotta go, cause otherwise you'd be fucking pulverized by my fist for stealing my kill and mind raping me."

"What!? That's not what it is, it's just how I talk!" Oz splutters out at the rude stranger.

"What-fucking-ever. Just shut the hell up and stop talking to me creep. I'm out of this stupid store anyways," The demon grabs the few bottles of booze on the counter that didn't get broken and stomps out the door while breaking a window on his way out, probably on purpose.

"I think I stabbed the wrong person," Oz says to the little phobias that are now laughing on his shoulders again. Anthophobia on the otherhand just nods his head in reply and looks at me with sympathy.

Oz glances around the store and to his pleasure the most broken thing is the window that was just smashed. The store shouldn't shut down for more than a day, so Amira will still get her illigal items whenever she pleases and won't be angry at Oz either.

A quiet whimper interrupts Oz's observation of the store and he glances down at the bloody cyclopse. Oz could practically taste the delicous terror absolutly radiating from the crying monster.

He should just leave, but despite his better judgment Oz looks around to see if anybody is in the store. When no one is in sight he then pulls out their phone and texts a quick message in the group chat.

Yellow boi: Sry again guys. Some Jackasses had a fight in the store so I'm going to be held up a little while longer.

Once the text is sent Oz leans down and touches the Cyclopse and as a large cloud of black fog is absorbed into his body Oz practically melts in satifaction. At least he got a awsome meal out of tonight, and he gets to thank god he'll never have to see that demon Jackass again.


	2. God Must Hate Oz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oz just wants to hang out with his friends, but the universe says today insn't the day and Oz gets fed up with it.

God must hate Oz. The kind of hate where you silently watch your enemy and wait till their weakest moment then slowly kill them with a spoon or something because you just hate that person so much. That kind of hate, because Oz is standing in a forest about to get mauled by a group of spider worshiping cultists who want him dead.

Why do a bunch of spider cultists want Oz dead as dirt in a forest? Well why don't we go back to a couple of hours ago and see.

~~~~~~About four hours ago~~~~~~~~~

☆Sparky☆: hey bitches! guess what

Oz had been watching a couple cat videos on his phone when Vicky texts him.

Yellow boi: What?

☆Sparky☆: I got four tickets to the latest showing of the Dragon Heat movie!

Blazinfire: you mean that borderline porno you guys love ♡♡♡♡♡♡

The Dragon Heat books were one of the few things that Oz had been openly vocal about in the beginning of his friendship with Vicky, Brian, and Amira. With Oz's limited knowledge on literature he usually goes for manga books or comics, but Dragon Heat had been one of the few books he had read without pictures, and after the first chapter Oz was hooked. Sure, it was absolutely full of unnecessary romance plots that in Oz's opinion were the only thing bad about the book, but reading through them was worth it for the plot.

Sweet, kind, wonderful Vicky figured out Oz's obsession and bought a book set for each of his friends to read. Vicky said she loves the romance plots and all the steamy descriptions, but Brian was the one who fell down the rabbit hole of lore with Oz. Everytime a new book would come out Brian and Oz will get together to talk about the plot. Amira… could care less about the books, but still respects that her friends do. Which is really nice of her.

Oz was broken from his internal monologue by another buzz from his phone.

UndeadRiot: Wheere and whien!,#tgfdthhfth

BlazinHot: calm down there brian or youll die a second time

☆Sparky☆: Just wait for the other one Amira. Just wait.

Oz read Vicky's text just as he sent his. 

Yellow boi: Are we going to see the adaptation that came out last week that has the main character played by Ton Nolland the actual half dragon monster who made his debut in a sci-fi fic adaption. Did you get the tickets from the theatre three blocks away that has the good food or the one one block away that has the good seating? Are we going to see it at night or during the day? Are the seats assigned or can we sit wherever we want because that's important to the viewing experience?

BlazinHot: …

☆Sparky☆: There it is.

UndeadRiot: I approve.

Oz was already blushing when he realized that he wrote an entire paragraph in less than thirty seconds. About a week ago Oz would be worried that his new friends would be upset at him for talking more than needed, but after the grocery fight thing all of them had practically ambushed him at Brian's house asking if he was alright, and even Amira told Oz that when the cyclops busted in he should have left her alcohol and booked it. It was really nice and gave Oz the confidence to be more straightforward around them even if they were actually worried for nothing.

BlazinHot: folks, what you have just witnessed is the elusive Oz coming out of hiding to properly locate the nearest dork location

Yellow boi: heh… sry 

UndeadRiot: You never answered his questions Vick.

☆Sparky☆: One block away, we choose where we sit, and it starts in ten minutes!

Yellow boi: WHAT!?!?!?!!?

UndeadRiot: WHAT!?!?!?!?

BlazinHot: lol hah

Without waiting for a reply from Vicky, Oz ran around the house he just moved into, throwing stuff around while pulling on his mustard colored sweater. Remembering at the last second to put his phone in his pocket Oz rushes out the door in a panic. Once outside Oz ran head first into the nearest tree, or with the afternoon sun being out, into the tree's shadow. When he emerged from the inky blackness in front of Brian's house he started banging on the door. Not a moment later Brian opens said door as he pulls on his signature green jacket.

"Why would she only tell us ten minutes before the show?!" Brian groans out as his hand almost falls off.

"I don't know, but we've gotta hurry or we won't see the beginning! And I still have to pick Amira up!" Oz just grabs Brian's shoulder and shoves him backwards into his door's shadow. 

Before he goes to Amira's house the same way Oz remembers to step inside Brian's house, grab his keys and lock the door before hopping again and landing outside of Amira's house. Knowing Vicky she's already at the movie theatre so if Amira just speeds up getting ready they should be able to make it in time. Oz knocks on the door again and to his surprise Amira opens up almost instantly as she brushes her hair.

"Lucky for you three nerds, I was planning on going out today anyways so I'm-" Amira uses her metal brush to style one more of her flaming locks, "Ready."

"Thanks Amira," Oz reaches out for her arm but Armira backs up quickly.

"Let me lock my door before you just push me through my own shadow," Amira says as she steps out and closes the door then locks it with her keys, "I'm not gonna let you leave my door open for robbers like you did to Brian."

"I closed it this time."

Ignoring Oz's comment Amira steps over to her apartment's shrubs and smiles, "Ready!"

And with that, Oz practically tackles Amira through her shrub's shadow and they both fall into Vicky who falls into Brian leaving all four of the friends on the ground in a dogpile outside of the theater.

"Umm… who's ready to watch a movie," Oz chuckles nervously as Amira glares at him.

After getting everybody out of the dogpile the group of friends headed into the theatre to cause chaos before the showing. Oz watches as Vicky walks into the theatre with bags of candy stuffed down her bra, Amira tries to win a cheap watch from a crane machine by lighting it on fire, and ever responsible Brian, is buying overpriced theater food for when Vicky eventually gets her snacks confiscated.

With about thirty seconds to spare before the movie starts Vicky tells Oz that she already got their tickets stamped so he can just drop them in their seats. Oz does as he's told and when they all get comfortable in their seats and the movie starts Vicky turns to her friends and smiles her most evil smile.

"By the way guys," She whispered to avoid being heard by anybody other than her friends, "I didn't have any tickets, we only got in here cuz' Oz teleported us."

Amira covers her mouth to hide her laughter, Oz stares at her blankly, and Brian, ever the responsible, pretends to be horrified for about five seconds before he tells everyone to pay attention to the movie.

"This is going to be the best movie ever," Oz projects to his friends' minds buzzing with excitement as his Phobias are munching on kernels of popcorn.

\----------------After the movie---------------

"That was the worst movie ever," Brian says what everyone's thinking as they exit the theatre, "As a zombie, this is one of those times in life where I would like to remove my eyes."

"Agreed," Oz says deadpan in disappointment.

"There weren't even any sex scenes," Vicky shouts throwing her hands in the air and gesturing wildly, "That was the best part of the book."

"I don't know. I kinda liked it actually," Amira says with a cheeky smile.

"Shut up," All three monsters turn on their friend who only laughs at their response.

As the group takes a couple down the street back towards their individual apartment complexes a gruff voice calls out behind the fun loving teenagers, "Hey pretty girl!"

All of them turn around to be met with a old looking werewolf wearing multicolor pants and a t-shirt that just says Fuck-Machine, "Hey little ladies."

Vicky frowns at the wereman and then side-eyes Amira who looks ready to roll her eyes, "Y'know little lady. I've been looking for a fun time tonight and I think you could be quite fun. I'm not really into shocky girl, but I'd be willing to let her in if you just ditch these losers."

Oz is already getting irratated at the dumb werewolve's rude, disrespectful, and honestly dehumanizing words.

"Fuck off Hairy Ass," Amira says looking pissed.

"What she said dipshit," Vicky adds.

"Oh sorry," The man starts and reaches into his pocket, "Forgot about what's in it for you. Look, for two fine sweeties like you… ehh how about fifty monster bucks."

Oz is practically shaking in anger. How dare this guy say something like that to his friends. Brain set a hand on Oz's shoulder to calm him down. He thought the little fearling was scared of the situation and despite his wrong assumption the calming touch bring's Oz down from his violence high. Oz takes a deep breath.

"Look at the tiny yellow one," The wolf continues, "I haven't even done anything yet and he's scared shitless."

The werewolf walks forward and sets a hand on Vicky's shoulder with a very sex-driven smile directed towards Amira, "If your heading somewhere or something sweet things it's not my first time in an alley way so just-"

Oz starts seeing red the moment the guy put his hand on Vicky. Who the hell does he think he is? The werewolf leans forward to probably do something else creepy and disgusting when Brian steps forward and pushes him back while Amira gets ready to burn him to a crisp. The werewolf simply rolls his eyes and steps forward again.

The dam breaks and Oz sees red as Brian tries to tell the guy to leave. He seems unperturbed by the girls' obvious no. That just won't do. Oz reaches into the werewolves mind and takes the little part that Oz knows so well and snaps it.

The change in the wolve's demeanor is instant. His eyes blow wide and the hair on his arms stands up straight. The wolf looks left and right in panic and his tail tucks between his legs as urine stains his pants. Brian looks shocked at the development, but the wolf man takes no notice as he turn tail and flees.

Oz was about to give chase to his prey. His prey couldn't get far even if it ran after all. And this man had so much fear. Fear of death, fear of life, fear of being forgotten, fear of lasting love, and he had so much trauma to work with too. His own mother-

"Oz! Oz are you alright!" Vicky practically screams.

Oz is still looking in the direction the wolf ran off to with trembling hands. Vicky's last scream seems to shock him from whatever was going on in his head. All three of the Oz's friends sigh in relief, but it's very short-lived. 

Oz's eyes blew wide in horror when he realized what he was doing. He was going to hunt him like he used to. He was going to kill him after traumatizing him, and he was going to do it in front of his friends. No, they're not his friends. How did he forget that? How did he forget that they're not really going to be there for him. Once they see him do what he does they'll leave him. Why did he even decide to take a form? This was a bad idea-

"Oz calm down he's gone," He hears Brian try to calm him down, but it does the opposite.

It was only a second, only the very moment that Brian blinked that Oz looked up at them and made eye contact with him. Then he was gone. He traveled through his shadows and Oz was most definitely gone. Vicky, Amira, and Brian were scared shitless, but they were scared for their friend.

Oz is panicking. He's shadow jumped to the middle of the woods and is practically curled up under an evergreen tree. Oz is shaking like a leaf as he thinks of all the bad things that could come out of what he just did. At the best his friends could just decide they don't like him anymore and leave him alone at worst they would start trying to hurt him. Deep down Oz knows that none of that would probably happen, but his anxiety and other mental illnesses thrive in situations like this.

After shaking and shivering on the ground for about thirty minutes Oz finally collects himself enough to get up and walk. One thing is for sure, Oz won't be heading back to his friends until after he's completely settled down. Oz decides to walk around the woods while counting his different phobias. There were more than anybody could ever count, but Oz found it calming to just count some of them when he gets too nervous.

He only gets to thirty before loud footsteps shake the ground and trees in the distance start to shake and stir. Oz doesn't have time to question this as a streak of red crosses path then stops. The same fucking demon from the store last week is standing in front of Oz looking back into the woods behind him with smirk.

Oz follows their smug gaze and sees a group of about twenty five figures running towards them with different sets of weapons and objects used for slaughter. Oz's eyes widen and he looks back at the red demon who's finally realized someone else is here.

"Fuckface, you just gonna stand their like a dumbass or are you going to fucking run," The demon laughs at Oz's perplexed face then sprints off into the forest.

"He has an accomplice!" One of the cloaked figures that had gotten worryingly closer than last time yelled at Oz.

A loud bout of confirmations from the other people is heard as the group speeds up towards Oz who at this point took the demon's advice and ran. Quickly enough Oz caught up to the demon and even started to surpass his speed. Having no set muscle mass or any drag resistance against your body sometimes really speeds you up.

When the demon realized someone was overtaking him in speed, a noob no less, he took offense and sped up so they were neck and neck. For the rest of his life, Oz will never understand why he didn't just shadow jump out of this situation instead of running, but soon enough the demon and him met a deadend. This dead end came as a stone cliff that was unscalable even to Oz.

"Well, fuck," The demon grunts then turns to Oz, "Sorry dude, don't know why you're here but you gotta take the fall for me."

"What!?" Oz exclaims, "How are you going to get out of here?!"

The demon takes out his phone and presses a button and no sooner does he do this a red portal opens up beside him to some kind of fiery city, "You're probably going to die, but I'll give you the pleasure of knowing it's for Damien LeVay. You should probably be grateful for ever meeting me."

Oz lunges forward to strangle the demon willing to throw him under the bus, but right before his hands can grip the bastard's throat he ducks into the portal and it closes.

The group of angry cloaked figures takes that as their cue to burst into the clearing that Oz is standing completely alone in. Almost immediately ten of them have bows and guns aimed at Oz.

Oz puts his hands up and finally decides that he might want to shadow jump away. However god hates Oz because the cliff behind him has no shadow this time of day and if Oz tries to run for it he'll have a bullet hole ridden body. Even if it won't actually injure him it will hurt like hell to be shot.

One of the people, Oz assumes it's the group's leader steps forward and pulls their hood back to reveal a spider head. Each of their eight eyes focus on Oz and the person growls. (As much as a spider can growl)

"You will return the golden spider of our lord back to us or we'll kill you and then hunt down your friend," The spider person said in a creepy high pitched voice.

"I'm not that guy's friend. He just kinda showed up while I was walking in the woods," All the spider people tense at Oz's mental declaration, even the leader. He forgot about the talking in people's head thing again.

The spider leader recovers quickly however and growls again, "You liar! That red demon surely couldn't infiltrate our glorious church by himself and a fearling like you would absolutely be willing to help a demon."

Oz mentally panics and protests, "I don't even know what spider, trophy, thing you're talking about."

"The golden spider is the idol of which or lord the Great Tarantula sees us through. Stealing it is a great disrespect to our group and we will sacrifice you at his altar for your sins against us," The spider head said.

"Look I promise that-"

"Enough!" The cloaked spider said, "The person who brings me that boy's head shall receive honors from our god."

The other cloaked figures take that as the go ahead to try and murder Oz, who is already panicking again as an arrow wizzes past his head and a bullet grazes his arm.

Why did this have to happen today? Why did this have to happen to fucking Oz? Why can't the world just give this poor immortal a mental break when he needs it? Because God must fucking absolutly despise Oz, and Oz is absolutly tired of God's shit.

There's nobody here, he's already fucking starving after that encounter with the werwolf, and Oz is pissed off about being left for dead by that red demon prick, so Oz looked God in the eye and flipped him off.

"Please don't make me do this," Oz gives the cloaked group one last warning.

"What can a weak little fearling like you do that would ever scare us."

Oz projects a mental sigh to all of the cloaked figures and the air turns frigid and still, "Then at least try to make a good meal for me."

"What are-" The spider person stops talking when Oz's form starts melting into a puddle that starts to spread all around the group as some of them fall to their knee.

Eyes and mouths of different sizes and shapes appear on the black slime that's starting to mumble and screech words in languages long lost. The very sun seems to dim as the incarnation of fear itself finally decides to feed again.

\----------------------Extra--------------------

Damien is a simple demon. He wants the world to burn, people to die, and ultimate chaos, so when he heard of a cult in the woods that worshipped a literal golden spider statue tiny enough for him to grab, he took that as a challenge. He snuck into the camp, murdered some people, and lit a couple things on fire before he stole his prize. (After he watched the chaos for a little while) 

Of course the cult has some sort of defence and even if they worship a fucking spider they still have holy water for some reason. So Damien booked it through the woods while cursing out the people shooting arrows and bullets coated in the crap at him.

He stopped for a minute to look back and see how angry the fuckers were when he noticed a black shadow looking guy with an ugly ass yellow sweater. He looks familiar and it clicks that he's the guy last week who stabbed a cyclops in the eye with a broken bottle. Of course, Damien was pissed that somebody would ever fucking dare steal his kill and just fucking talk in his head without permission, (Damien absolutly didn't think that being able to talk to people with your mind was rad. No way in hell) so he was already planning on ditching the noob to the weird spider cult as revenge.

After teleporting out of the forest Damien waited a while before going back to see how dead the fucking nerd was. What the prince of hell didn't expect to see however was the group of cultists that had been chasing him laying on the forest floor crying in fear with no shadow guy in sight.

Of course Damien wanted answers so he picked up the one he thought was the leader and asks him politly what happened, "What the fuck happened here you fucking spider bastard?!"

The spider bastard started mumbling incoherently before screaming, "NO NOT AGAIN! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T. I DON'T WANT IT. WE'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE. DON'T BRING HIM BACK! PLEASE I'LL DO ANYTHING DON'T BRING-"

Damein had enough of the bastard's screaming so he knocked the dude out with a solid punch to the head. He went around to the other few cultists that were still conscious and they did the same fucking thing thing. Just begged for their lives and kept saying not to bring him back

As much as Damien would deny the fact if you asked he really wanted to know what was up with that shadow dude if he did this. Maybe the fucker wasn't actually a damn noob.


	3. Molotov Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the crazy time Oz had in the forest, he's having a hard time ignoring his cravings for good fear. To stave off his hunger he's picking up food in the bad part of town. Unknown to him is that Damein LeVay has been on a rampage that same night. What happens when Oz gets dragged into the demon's 'fun night.'

Oz is hungry. He's really, really, really hungry. Ever since Oz got to give those cultists in the woods what was coming to them he's been craving fear like nobody's buisness. He thought he finally broke his habit of eating large amounts of fear at once, but that stupid fucking Daimien set him back again. Well, at least Oz now has a name for the guy he wants to pummel.

After the whole forest debockle Oz ended up finally pulling up the group chat to find Vicky was trying to file a missing person's report, Brian was going to Oz's house, and Amira was apparently tracking down the fucker who hurt her friend so she could give him a fire shave.

When Oz finally texted them in the group chat they all pretty much yelled at him for leaving and told him that if he ever scared them like that again they would literally lock him in his own house. When they met back up they had a group hug in the middle of a parking lot as Oz gave them a terrible excuse about hating conflict. With his nervous behavior, they fully accepted the answer at face value.

Back to now, Oz is walking around some shady back alleys that homeless people and black out drunks fequent. Most people around here know it's way to dangerous to travel around here without a group unless you plan to get mugged or are too desperate to be smart. Well, unless you fit the two earlier categories. Oz is actually both. The hoping to get mugged and desperate part not the homeless and drunk thing.

With hunger clawing at his stomach the last few days Oz has been walking these alleys to hopefully find some people to snack on. Honestly, Oz is doing them a favor anyways. He gets to fill his stomach and his victims get to be fear free for the next few hours. Oz's snacking is harmless because it relies on people's prexisting fears. Victims that end up insane like the cultists come from the overwhelming terror of reliving every awful thing in your life fifty times over in the span of about ten seconds. Oz only does that in self-defence or when he's really pissed with his new life.

As he walks down another alley way he hears a loud clang from behind a trash can. Walking around the back, Oz is hopeing for a drunkard. Most alcoholics that drink to much do it because they're sad or because they're afraid to face the consequences of something they've done. Most of the time it's fifty-fifty with emotions sadly, but it's usually still enough to make the pangs of hunger in Oz's stomach recede.

To Oz's delight and dissappointment, there is not a drunk man passed out behind the dumpster, but there is a black cat. Most animals tend to stay away from Oz out of some type of deep seated survival instinct. Dogs bark at him, birds fly away, and he can make a zoo go quiet in an instant. The only exception is cats. Oz once read something about them being very close to demons, fearlings, and monster of the catagory. Although Oz doesn't really fall under a catagory at all, cats still like him. That's why he's rather fond of the creatures.

Oz crouches down behind the dumpter and pets the lithe cat as it purrs at him happily. Oz reaches into his back pocket and pulls out the tiny pouch of cat treats he brings with him for occasions like these. The thin black cat looked hungry and Oz could relate to hunger. Once the treats were out, the cat wasted no time at all to eat up all the little pebbles of food. Standing back up as the cat ate Oz walked down another empty street full of abandoned houses.

Picking one randomly, Oz entered one of the houses and is happy to see a homeless poltergeist shivering next to a fire on the ground. Walking deeper into the house silently, Oz pokes her mind and is pleasantly surprised by the amount of fear the girlish ghost was feeling. She had a crippling fear of the dark and she's run out of fuel for the tiny fire she had in front of her. Once the flickering flame dies out she'll most likely be wide awake all night panicking. Oz hasn't ever really met a ghost before so he doesn't know if they even can sleep or need to, but Oz sympathizes with the poor girl anyways.

Placing a hand on the girl's shoulder she jumps and is about to turn around before she almost instantly starts relaxing under Oz's influence. Oz might not prefer such minimul amounts of fear to eat at a time, but the hunger he feels is staved off for now. Six more monsters like this and he might actually feel full for a couple of hours.

Oz walks out of the abandoned house and wanders his way down the street. He's heading to a bar he frequents. Now don't get this wrong, Oz doesn't actually drink. Although, he does know he can get drunk. He goes to this bar because most of the big bads around town spend their time there. From drug dealers to porn stars, this place has got it all, and where the big guy stays, all the little guys are forced to follow. Servants, slaves, and toxic relationships all come with fear.

There's never any huge amounts of fear from the people there, (because they're not in immediate danger) but usually there are enough people with tiny almost ignorable fears that Oz can use to fill up slowly. Somebody gets threatened, somebody throws a punch, somebody angers someone they shouldn't have. It all builds up. He takes it all from the shadows. Not one person has ever actually seen Oz at the bar with his powers.

Oz hums the tune to a song Brian had him listen to in his head as he gets closer to his destination. He turns down another dark street on his way to eat. All of a sudden Oz's ears are assaulted by the sound of a massive explosion along with screams of terror. Not only that but a few moments later pure terror clouds Oz's thoughts as the people in the building unknowingly project their thought to Oz.

"THE BUILDING IS ON FIRE!"  
"IT'S COLASPING!"  
"IS THIS WHERE I DIE?!"  
"I STILL HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!"

If Oz could drool in this form he would be doing it. He wanted to run over to that building and just feast, but it's almost definate that a fire like that has got witnesses, and Oz can't be witnessed. Instead, Oz tries to just soak in whatever he can from across the street and listen to the flurried thoughts of those fearful of dying.

"THE CARPET IS ON FIRE!"  
"WHERE'S THE EXIT?!"  
"NO, NO, NO! THE DOOR'S LOCKED!"  
"Aww shit, that fucking bitch called the cops on me. I'm so getting fucking grounded for this if I get caught."

Oz stops at that thought. That person isn't afraid of dying, but they are afraid of getting grounded? When sirens start blaring in the distance and quick footsteps are heard rushing towards the alley Oz is peaking out of, the embodiment of fear wants to cry at his terrible luck. Oz turns towards the oncoming footsteps when he gets grabbed and pulled into the alley way with a hand covering his face where a normal person would have a mouth.

"Stay fucking quiet or I'll-" It's the fucking red demon that's got Oz into trouble twice already. If looks could kill, Damien would already be gone, "Hey, you're that fucking shadow dude from the woods. What the fuck are you doing here?! You some type of stalker or something?!"

Oz fades into the shadow of the wall and out of Damien's grip to appear behind him from Damian's own shadow, "I have a name and it's Oz. I am not a stalker, and I was going out to eat. Not that it's any of your buisness what I'm doing."

"Holy- You can just fucking teleport," Damien startled and turned around quickly as Oz broadcasts his thoughts.

"I'm a fearling," Oz lies, "We can travel through shadows Damien."

"If you're not a stalker then how the fuck do you know my name, huh?!" Damien growls out smugly.

"Because somebody told me there name before they left me in the middle of the woods with a bunch of spider cultists!" Oz shouts into Damien's mind.

"Stop being so fucking loud noob. You're gonna give me a fucking headache screaming directly into my brain," Damien growls out as he puts one hand on his head.

"Fine," Oz lowers his volume, "Well, if you're done pulling me into alley ways for no reason then I'll be on my way. It's getting late and I'd like to get something done before morning."

Oz turns to walk away when Damien grabs him again and places his hand on his face again. Oz is torn between asking what the hell the demon is doing and telling him that Oz doesn't have a mouth so he doesn't have to cover his lower face. However, before Oz can do either a set of police cars rush by with the sirens blaring and a couple of policemen rush by the alley in the opposite direction.

"Dammit, they're fucking looking for me again," Damien curses once the policemen pass.

Oz uses what little room to struggle he has to lean around the corner and peak out. A group of firemen are dousing the flaming building with water as a group of police cars are patrolling the area.

A helicopter flies by overhead and a loud speaker sounds out from inside, "Damien LeVay, we know you're in the city. You have burned down three orphanages, two hospitals, four churches, and the Viperstrain Hotel. A teleportation force field has been set up around the city to prevent your escape. Turn yourself in now and we'll lessen your sentencing."

"They did fucking what?! You've gotta be shitting me," Damien let's of Oz, pulls out his phone, and presses a button. Nothing happens, "Fucking no way!"

Oz attempts to shadow jump back to his house and while he does slip into the shadows of the alley he can't travel to another. He pops back into existence beside Damein and starts cursing too, "Why would you burn down all those buildings! Now I can't teleport and the police are going to think I'm your accomplice!"

"Calm down shadow noob. I've got a plan," Oz glares at Damein as he continues, "I could get out of the city by myself fucking fine, but having a bastard who can duck into shadows in useful as fuck, so you're going to help me."

"No way, I'm getting out of here right now before you get me in more trouble," Oz says with a growl.

"You fucker! We're in this together whether you like it or not so you're going to help me!"

"There's no way-"

Oz is cut off when a minotaur policeman turns the corner down the opposite side of the alley way with three hellhounds. He spots Oz and Damien and speaks into his walkie talkie, "Target in sight, he's got an accomplice although I can't give you a description in this lighting."

"Shit," Oz projects out without thinking. The policeman startles at the sudden voice in their head and he turns around to search for the source.

Damien grabs Oz's shoulder and pulls him down the stree toward the abandoned buildings Oz just came from, "Good job distacting that fucker with your mind rape crap."

"IT'S NOT CALLED MIND RAPE!" Oz shouts in irratation.

Damien laughs loudly as he pulls Oz behind another building as a cop car passes, "Whatever noob."

"What's the plan you were talking about earlier anyways?!" Oz asks suddenly, "You actually have one right?!"

"Ohh~ Look who's suddenly on board," Damien whispers as the Minotaur man passes this time without the hellhounds.

"WHAT'S THE PLAN!?"

"Calm down, the plan is that those magical force fields they set up stop people from leaving magically. They don't stop people from just walking the fuck out. We're gonna book it past those buildings with you hiding us from the police so we can get to my motorcycle. Got it?"

"Got it," Oz nods while thinking that it's not actually a half bad plan.

"Oh, and I forgot to mention one thing…" Damien pulls a molotov cocktail out of nowhere and chucks it at a police cruiser going by. The molotov lights and flames erupt from the car.

Oz stares at Damien, who's smiling maniacly, as the police car vears off the road into one of the abandoned buildings nearby. The flames from the wrecked car spread to the building as well as giving an orange glow to the alley way.

"WE SET EVERTHING AFLAME ON THE FUCKING WAY!" Daimien tosses a molotov to Oz then sprints out of the alley way.

Oz hurries after him as he mentally berates himself for ever trusting Damein to think of a plan that keeps Oz out of more trouble. Oz catches up with Damein again as he throws bottle after bottle at random things.

"Why do you feel the need to light everthing on fire?!" Oz asks in exasperation.

"Shut up and throw yours or I'll fucking set you on fire too!"

Taking the threat seriously, Oz chucks his molotov as hard as possible. With his shadow arm helping, the bottle goes over the abandoned buildings and the sound of something exploding far off is the only proof Oz has of even throwing the bottle.

"HAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT! YOU MUST HAVE JUST HIT A GAS LINE!"

A group of policemen spot Oz and Damien and rush towards the duo with their weapons pointed. As one points their gun, Oz grabs Damein and pulls him into the shadow of a flaming vehicle.

Damein started grumbling in the shadow space the moment Oz pushed him in.

"Why the hell would-"

"A group of cops spotted us and they were about to open fire. WHAT DID YOU DO THAT WOULD MAKE THEM FIRE ON SIGHT!"

"Oh, well good thing I brought you along noob. It fucking hurts to get shot," Damein ignores Oz's questin.

"I know how much it hurts to get shot, so I'll ask again. WHAT DID YOU DO!"

"You know what it's like to get shot? Well, damn I guess your a little less of a fucking wimp than I thought."

Giving up on Damien answering his questions, Oz dumps them back out onto the street they were on. Oz lands on his feet and looks around for cops, while Damein hit the ground on his back and is already cursing up a storm.

"Which direction is your bike?"

"Just had to fucking drop me on the fucking ground, you asshole. I'm about three seconds from burning you to a crisp noob."

"WHAT DIRECTION!"

Damien grabs Oz's arm and runs past another few flaming buildings before they reach an abandoned mall parking lot. Oz would like to say he didn't know which motorcycle was Damien's by looks alone but if Oz did, he would be a lair. Damien's bike is black and covered in realistic fire decals. The front of the bike has a very realistic looking skull that Oz only half-believes to be fake.

"Stop eye-fucking my ride and get on!" Damein rushes past Oz and jumps on the bike without hesitation.

Oz follows behind reluntantly while blushing as Damein revs the engine. Oz thinks about how unsafe it is to ride the motorcycle without a helmet and watches as Damien grabs the bars and gets ready to go.

"Hold on motherfucker," Damein is kind enough to warn Oz about 0.2 seconds before he pushes off and they speed out of the parking lot.

Oz is almost thrown off the bike before he grabs Damein shoulders as tight as possible because holy shit were they going fast.

"Warn me next time before you just speed off!" Oz growls.

"I did warn you noob," Just to spite Oz, Damein speeds the bike up. At the incease of speed Oz grips Damein even harder, which he didn't know would be possible.

They get about three miles from the mall before the cops finally realize what's going on and start the chase.

Five cop cars are tailing the two and Damein takes it as a personal challenge to lose them. Oz is glad that he doesn't actually have a stomach because if he did Oz would be throwing up from all reckless things Damein does with his bike.

A few brave cops lean out their window and start trying to shoot at the duo and Oz panics, "Damein, do you have more molotovs?!"

"Six, why?" Oz could practically see Damien smirk as he asked.

"Give them to me."

Damian takes one hand off the bike's handle (Oz wants to cry at how reckless that is by itself) and one by one pulls out bottle after bottle to give to Oz who lets his phobias grab onto each bottle one by one and toss them at the police cars. Each car went down into with a flaming explosion and each boom makes Damian's smile bigger and the bike go faster.

Once all the cars are wrecked Damein takes a shortcut to the city border that consists of dangerous fires and multiple deaths. Oz continues to hold on for dear life as multiple helicopters circle overhead. Flashing lights from monsters taking pictures on the street assault Oz's eyes. Oz had never been more thankful that he can't be caught on camera unless the picture it taken with a polaroid. One or two people might get a picture with one, but they'll probably just get blamed for photoshop.

As they near the city border and see the force field Damein goes as fast as possible and almost knocks Oz off the bike again.

"Holy shit, warn me when you do that!" Oz shouts as the phobias try to hold on to the one molotov Oz didn't use.

All of a sudden blaring sirens and red light come out of nowhere. Three police cars rush out of nowhere and stop in their path towards the border.

Damein stops the bike and curses, "I can't get past their fucking roadblock."

Damein goes to turn the bike around and go the opposite direction, but another set of cops block their exit.

"GOD DAMMIT! THOSE FUCKERS BLOCKED OUR FUCKING WAY OUT!"

Oz looks back and forth between the cops in both directions. The barrier stopping teleportation and Oz's shadow jumping is only about twelve feet behind the cars. Coulrophobia pops up on Oz's shoulder and gestures towards the single molotov still in his posession.

"I've got a plan," Oz says confidently.

"Well, what the hell is it?!"

"Drive directly between the two cop cars near the border and let me handle the rest."

"If you get me caught I'm gonna fucking dissect your corspe in front of a crowd."

A ballsy cop decides to send a warning shot at Oz, "JUST FUCKING GO!"

Without further prompting Damein revs the engine and speeds toward the cop cars full speed. Summoning every once of courage he has, Oz let's go of Damein with on hand, stands up on the bike, grabs the molotov from his phobias, and chucks it at the unsuspecting cops trying to block their path.

"HELL YEAH," Damein shouts as they speed by the cops who were to busy trying to put out a fire to stop the duo, "That was fucking rad!"

"It's not over yet," Oz says as he grips Damein's shoulders again and sets back down.

They pass through the barrier as the group of cops regains their senses and start shooting at the bike. A few of the bullets wizz past Oz's head as he starts phase two of his plan.

"Drive into the wall on the left!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN DRIVE INTO THE WALL?!"

"Exactly what I said!"

"I'M NOT GOING TO DRIVE INTO A FUCKING-"

"DRIVE INTO THE FUCKING WALL RIGHT NOW OR YOU AND I ARE GOING TO FUCKING JAIL!"

"IF I DIE FUCKER, I'M GOING TO COME BACK AND HAUNT YOU!" With those last words Damein swirves the bike and drives directly into a wall, or into the wall's shadow.

Three feet away from the wall, the bike, Damein, and Oz all dissapear and reappear two cities away in front of Oz's apartment complex. Damein slams his foot on the breaks and Oz metaphoracally sighs in relief.

"That was FUCKING AWSOME," Damein yells, "You just fucking teleported us and my bike away from the city! Holy crap, that shit was crazy. You even fucking blew up the chief's squad car!"

As Damein rants about how 'FUCKING AWSOME' their adventure is, Oz's stomach is already growling again. He never got to the bar and it's only a few hours before the sun rises. Oz turns to look at the demon that he just helped destroy a city with and pulls the pad and pen he usually keeps for chores out of his pocket.

Oz writes his number on the paper then rips it off and hands it to Damien, "Next time you decide to blow a city up or something tell me so I can stay as far away as possible."

Damien stops his excited rant and turns to Oz. He looks at the paper that has Oz's number on it and smirks while ripping it from Oz's grip, "Perfect, now I have a taxi service I can call when I get in trouble."

Oz is already regretting his decisions, "Actually maybe you can just give me that back and-"

"No way in hell noob," Damien smirks again, "It's to fucking late to go back now."

Before Oz can protest more, Damein takes out his phone and a portal appears. With one last arrogant wave he's gone.

Fuck. Oz messed up.

\-------------------Extra-----------------

Damien's sitting in his room with a tank top on since his jacket had to be washed. Turns out old blood and guts makes a shirt smell bad.

He's smiling as his friends Liam and Polly, gossip about his latest excursion that went viral. For some reason the noob wasn't in any of the photos that were taken of their rampage. Interesting.

Damein would never admit it, but the shadow guy (What was his name again?) really saved his ass back when the cops blocked the road. He hasn't told any of his friends about the guy and why would he? Vera would find some way to make him a part of her cartel, Liam would try and use him to get groceries, and Polly would probably ask him to steal drugs for her. If that happened, the bastard wouldn't have time to be threatened into doing what Damien wanted. A knock sounds at the door and not a second later Damien's dads enter his room.

"What's the point of knocking if you just come in anyways," Damien growled.

"Well, we just wanted to know why you used the portal so late," Stan LeVay smiled.

"Although I guess we know now," Lucian Levay smirked.

Great, Damien rolled his eyes. They must watched the news or something. Now he's in for fucking lecture again.

Stan LeVay clears his throat, "Yes, we didn't know you were into such things son."

"What?" Damien responds confusedly.

Lucian points to to his son's shoulder with an embarrassed smile, "Next time you go out for such *cough* reasons please just… umm… text us."

Damein glances at his shoulder to see nail marks from where the noob had been grabbing his shoulders on the bike. His face turned red, the fucking noob somehow was gripping his shoulders so hard earlier that he left marks through his fucking jacket. How the hell!? Damein looks up at his dads and decides that he would prefer a lecture over this any, fucking, day.

"Go fucking watch the news! I didn't go have sex with some fucker! And there's no way in hell I'd FUCKING BOTTOM!"


	4. Bar Fights and Fun Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damien is grounded from crime after his parents found out about his arson spree a few days ago. With all his friends busy, what's a demon to do? Dragging a guy Damien just met to a bar sounds about right.

Damien can't fucking believe it. Vera blew him off for some weird ass business meeting she's holding last minute. Now what is Damien supposed to do? Polly has some ghost only party going on tonight and Liam refuses to talk about it, but he says he's busy too. What can he do when his three party friends don't want to hang out with him?

He says party friends because that's where he met the three monsters a few months ago. It happened when his dads practically forced him to go out and try to make friends. Damien just went to a bunch of bars instead, although he still ended up meeting people like his parents wanted.

Polly thought Damien was a drug dealer, Vera recognized him as the prince of hell and wanted to get in with Damian for something about being a business contact, and Liam knew the band that Damian was wearing a T-shirt of that night. Liam had walked up to him and said something about it being nice to meet a fellow off-streamer. (Damien only got the shirt because it had a graphic display of gore on it. He didn't know it was some stupid band)

Damien's hung out with all three exactly once, and that would be when they first met. Not to say he hasn't hung out with each one individually once or twice for a party or something. Damien got roped into their group chat when Vera found out they'll be starting school at Spooky High in the coming years and again said some crap about them being her business contacts.

Back to Damien's current problem though, what can he do? When his dads found out how many buildings he burned and how he almost got caught for it, they grounded him from crime under the punishment that if he did do anything illegal, his portal privileges would get revoked.

That crosses off plans A-W on Damien's fun list. He could go get drunk, but after the last time he got black out drunk for fun he wasn't too keen on the idea. (He woke up in a suit of armor with some bitch pretending to be a princess trying to steal his kidneys) After that, Damien promised himself he would never get that drunk again. However, Damein reasons, if he got someone to go with him to stay sober and make sure he didn't fuck himself over too much, then he could probably do it. That hits the same deadend as before though, all his friends are busy.

Damien is about to just scrap the idea and find something else to do when he's reminded of one person that could fulfill these conditions. The noob from two days ago that helped Damein throw molotovs at the police gave him his number. Of course, it was because he didn't want to be around Damein again, but if he didn't want to get texted, he should think before he gives out his number. Especially when he's so fucking useful for crimes.

Deciding that the shadow guy would be perfect for what he wants to do tonight, he quickly switches to the noob's contact info and sends a quick text.

Damein LeVay: hey fucker, meet me at the bar near where I set a hotel on fire. be on time or I'll hunt you down and blow your house up

Oz: The very fact that I know who this is from one text says a lot about you. Plus, just the idea of me knowing you has made me start fire proofing. There's no way I'm meeting you there.

Damein LeVay: doesn't matter to me, but if you aren't there I can get past fucking fire proofing

Damien waits for a response, but doesn't get one. Which pisses Damien off more than the shadow fuck's snark. Turns out his name is Oz, but just to spite him he changes the chat name.

FUCKINGNOOB: Are you actually this childish?

Damien LeVay: fuck you hah

This time Oz is the one frustrated. He slams his phone down on the bed in annoyance. Why can't Damien just give him a break?! With a bit of deliberation, Oz decides to play along. He was planning on going to that specific bar tonight anyways. A plus one shouldn't mess with his meal plan.

FUCKINGNOOB: Fine. I'll go to the bar, but if you dare get me into another city wide motorcycle chase, I will leave you in a dumpster.

Damein LeVay: you say that like you could bastard.

FUCKINGNOOB: I can and will. Now what time is it that if I'm late, 'you'll hunt me down'

This noob has a fucking spine when it comes to chatting over the phone. Damien grinds his teeth and texts him eleven, and the fucking noob sends him a damn smiley face in response. Damein smiles maniacally when he thinks about meeting Oz in person. Maybe once the night is over he can say goodbye by burning him to a crisp and deleting his number.

Damien tells his dads he's going out to drink with a 'friend' and that he probably won't be back until morning. Then, at eleven twenty he pops through a portal with his bike. Afterall, the night's still young and that means running from the cops is a possible outcome. After leaving his motorcycle in the parking lot he headed into the bar.

Damien scans the place for a shadowy figure, but only sees different monster prostitutes and rich old guys. Damien scowls and walks over to the bar counter angrily. The fucking noob is actually bold enough to blow the fucking prince of hell off?! Well fine, he'll make the shadow bastard fucking regret it. Everyone knows you should wait thirty minutes after the set time before you leave. Damien pulls out his phone and sends one warning text.

Damein LeVay: you better get fucking prepared cuz I'm coming for your ass 

"No need to be so whiny about not seeing me immediately," A sudden familiar voice fills Damien's head.

Damien whips around to find the noob setting next to him at the counter with the same ugly mustard yellow clothes from a few days ago. The fucker might not have a mouth, but it's still obvious he's smirking.

"WHEN THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE?!" Damien shouts at the yellow fucker.

"Woah, woah, quiet down Damien. This a bar, not a rock concert," Oz says calmly, "I got here at eleven. Like you asked on the phone."

"You weren't here a few seconds ago!" Damien growls.

"You might not believe it, but even though I don't drink, I still frequent this bar from the shadows. I know where to be when I don't want to be seen," Oz turns to Damien and lies, "I like people watching."

"You don't fucking drink noob?" 

"No, I prefer to stay in control of my own body."

"FUCKING PERFECT!" Damien smiles threateningly, "You get to stay sober all night and make sure I don't get too drunk I die."

"Excuse me?" Oz frowns, "I'm not your personal assistant or something, why would I do that?!"

"Because I fucking told you to, prick," Damien looks to the bar tender and calls him over to order six shots of whiskey and line them up.

"You're going to actually die if you keep that up all night," Oz says worriedly. He might not know demon anatomy, but that much alcohol consistently can't be healthy for anyone.

"That's why you're here fucker," A couple people give Damien dirty looks because he appears to be cursing at someone who's not talking. Of course, he doesn't notice.

"Fine. I was going to be here all night anyway, but don't get me wrong. I'm only doing this because watching someone die of alcohol poisoning is not pleasant," Oz disappears back into the shadows as Damien starts downing the shots.

The first hour at the bar went exactly how Oz wanted it to. With nothing happening other than him getting a meal from the inhabitants of the establishment. Every few minutes Oz would check up on Damien to make sure he hadn't gotten in trouble and Oz was pleasantly surprised to find that he'd actually slowed down on his alcohol intake. Oz might not particularly care for Damien's behavior, but Oz did agree to watch over him. As a man of his word, Oz WILL keep Damien out of trouble.

Of course, Oz ended up jinxing himself. After snacking on some poor succubus's fears, Oz went to check on Damien and he was just GONE. Most people would think that someone who can disappear in the blink of an eye would stay calm in such a situation and calmly search the bar. Those people would be absolutely wrong and you should tell them so to their faces. 

Oz immediately takes a page from Vicky's book and starts thinking about how to file a missing person's report as he panics about Damien already being dead.  
Or at least Oz does this until he turns around to see Damien in a fist fight with some poor vampire. Oz figuratively sighs in relief and steps in to stop the two fighters. 

"You two need to calm down," Oz says while stepping between the brawlers.

"You *hic* need to step back and *hic* let me fucking murder this guy," Damein sways dangerous towards Oz and almost falls before he rights himself.

"T-that bastard friend of yours just punched me for no r-reason," The vampires with a black eye says while shaking from behind Oz.

"I'm so sorry sir. He's just a little drunk. I'd be willing to get you some ice for that if you need it," Oz lightly touches the vampire's forearm and sucks out his fear.

The vampire relaxes then just scoffs, "At least you're nice, but don't worry about me. I've been through worse. You probably need to keep an eye on your friend. He's kinda terrifying."

"Again I'm so sorry sir," Oz turns around to grab Damien and force him to sober up some, but the demon's already gone, "Oh shit."

For the two hour Oz is in and out of shadows chasing Damien around the bar as he attempts to provoke fights with every person he meets. By the time Oz stops an argument, eats their fear, and then apologizes to the person Damien would already be gone again.

Oz would like to be mad at Damien. He really, really, would like to, but he brought this on himself by agreeing to Damien's terms. A few more scuffles later, Oz finds Damien in the parking lot fighting a group of bikers while surrounded by a circle of monsters cheering the fight on.

"You've got to be kidding me," Oz facepalms. 

Without further prompting Oz shadow jumps to the front of the growing crowd to stop the demon before he gets the shit beat out of him or (this is more likely) Oz has to help hide one of the biker's bodies.

"You really *hic* think that your fuckin' bwaby bikes are anywhere as *hic* cool as mine," Damien sways again as he attempts to punch one of the men in the group.

"Dude! We never said anything to you, what's your fucking problem!" One of the bikers tries to back up only to be blocked by the crowd of monsters.

"Whatever," Damien lisps and pulls out- of course he has a dagger, "You're gonna fuckin' *hic* pay for disrespecting my ride!"

Damien lunges at the bikers and they easily dodge his sloppy slash. One of them moves to hit Damein with their bike helmet and that's when Oz steps in.

"STOP!" Oz reaches out to everyone present and broadcasts his thoughts along with twisting their minds just a bit, so they'll listen.

Without looking away from the bikers Damien stumbles to the left at the sudden voice in his head then scowls, "STOP INTERRUPTING MY FUCKING FIGHTS NOOB!"

Everyone in the crowd is silently sweating at the chilly atmosphere that the drunken demon doesn't seem to notice. A few of the smarter monsters quietly leave the crowd and go about their business elsewhere. Oz steps into the circle and past the bikers before grabbing Damien's ear and pulling his head down to Oz's level.

"You've had me chasing you around for the last two hours trying to stop your fights," Oz lectures Damien, "You're so drunk that at any moment you risk passing out and yet you refuse to stop."

"Let go of my fucking ear nerd," Damien attempts to stab the shadowy fuck interrupting his drunken fun and succeeds. 

The dagger cuts through Oz's sweater and sinks into where a normal person would have a gut. Oz winces as his black matter body pushes the blade back out and reforms. Oz glances down at his yellow sweater that now has a hole in it and he is so done with this bar.

Damien, in his wasted state, ignores the waves of anger radiating off of Oz and stares at his black goo covered blade in awe, "That's so *hic* fucking cool!"

Damien goes to stab the dagger at Oz in a different spot, but before he can, the blade is ripped from his hand. Oz holds the blade away from Damien as a phobia on his shoulder starts laughing. At this point multiple monsters in the crowd ran into the bar's bathroom to puke and others were walking away from the two dangerous looking monsters. Even the biker gang backed away towards their rides and started rideing away from Oz's murderous aura.

"FUCKIN' NOOB! GIVE ME my damn… knife…" Damien's mind takes this exact moment to finally shut his body down as he passes out.

The demon falls forward and even in Oz's annoyance he grabs Damien before he hits the ground, being careful to avoid impaling him with his own dagger.

"Of course you would pass out now…" Oz looks around the now empty parking lot and notices the only vehicle left in the lot is Damien's own motorcycle. 

Oz glances from the bike and decides he should probably get the wasted demon back to his apartment complex since he had no idea where Damien actually lives. He considers shadow hopping, but after doing that all night in chase of Damien it leaves a sour taste in Oz's mouth. Cyclophobia appears on Oz's shoulder and gestures towards Damien's bike.

Oz shakes his head to disagree, but if Oz doesn't want to shadow jump what other option does he have? Plus, if he wrecks Damien's bike at least it'll be revenge for all the chaos he's caused. Oz walks over to Damien's motorcycle and searches the passed out demon for his keys. Once he finds them he places them in the ignition and tries to think of a way to keep Damien on the bike without having to wake him up. 

After a bit of deliberation Oz undoes Damien's belt, sets him on the bike and ties his hands around Oz's waist so he won't fall off. If Damien woke up it would probably be very awkward, but with how the demon is already snoring, Oz doubts he'll be waking up any time soon.

Once ready to go, Oz tries working up the nerve to actually start the bike. Oz has driven a motorcycle before, but with what he saw a few days ago, this one probably has some illegal boosters on it. With one last check that Damien probably won't fly off and die, Oz starts off towards his apartment. 

Oz actually makes it back to said apartment without destroying the motorcycle or Damien falling off just before 4:00 A.M. Oz unties Damien's hands and carries the demon bridle style to the door of Oz's apartment. He sets Damien on the ground as he pulls Damien's motorcycle around back to hide in some shrubs. He didn't want the neighbors thinking he owned that thing. Once the bike is hidden completely Oz drags Damien into his home and sets the passed out demon on his couch to hopefully sleep off his bad behavior.

Oz shakes his head in annoyance as he looks down at Damien's sleeping form. This is the second time Oz's snacking has been interrupted. Oz continues to ponder this until he suddenly realizes something. He's not actually hungry.

All night Oz has been sucking the fear out of people Damien tried to fight. Each person got more afraid as Damien got more violent. Oz is feeling the most full he's been since he took this form, and it was all because of the annoying demon on his couch. Maybe… Oz found a new way to dine.

\--------------------Extra----------------

☆Sparky☆: hey Oz do you want to hang out tomarrow?

BlazinHot: why u texting in the group chat at like 5 in the morn

☆Sparky☆: Because i got a new car battery and i might have accidentally used the whole thing at once. i literally can't calm down

Yellow boi: I'd love to Vicky, but I'll have to let you know around this afternoon. I've got some chores I'm busy with right now. 

(Damien is totally a chore to deal with)

Yellow boi: Where do you want to hang out at anyways?

☆Sparky☆: There's this bar, near the hotel that burned down a couple of days ago. i heard it was lit. Thought we cud go there even though u don't drink.

The sound of someone hitting their head against a wall as hard as possible is heard throughout the city as Oz reevaluates his life choices for the 500th time this week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny story:
> 
> When I was writing this chapter I wanted Damien to drink an absolute ton of alcohol. I just put six shots down and planned to have him continuously down them for the entire night, but then I talked to some people I know who drink alcohol and they pretty much told me if you drink that many shots continuously you are in danger of dieing. When I found that out I had to go back and edit some stuff. One of those things is the part where Oz says that if Damien keeps drinking like that he'll die. Because I found out he would. LoL


	5. Worried Dads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting wasted at a bar the night before, Damien wakes up in Oz's house with the hangover to beat all hangovers. Character bonding ensues as Damien finds out how Oz talked to his dads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured out how to use differnt fonts and stuff with the writing, so hopefully the texting bits are a little easier to distinguish.

The warm feeling of something soft is the first thing Damien registers as he wakes up. He must have fallen asleep in the living room again and one of his dads brought him to bed. 

The second thing Damien notices is the terrible pain in his head. Damien opens his eyes to see that he is not, in fact, in his bed, but he is on a lime green couch covered in soft fuzzy blankets. Damien tries to sit up, but immediately hits the couch below him again as a bout of dizziness hits him hard. Did someone fucking drug him?!

Before panicking, Damien tries to sit up again. This time he succeeds in getting upright as he looks around at his surroundings. 

All the curtains in the room are closed keeping the bright sun from lighting up the dark area. Lucky for Damien though, he has better night vision than most because of his genetics and night time escapades.

Damien sighs a little in relief when he realizes he's in what seems to be a normal ass apartment. He tries to remember what happened last night, but the last thing he recalls is punching some vampire that got on his nerves. He wants to remember more but thinking really hurts right now.

Damien puts a hand on his head and pleas for the migraine he has to disappear. He reaches back to his pockets with his other hand to text his dads he's alright, but his phone isn't there. In fact two other things aren't there as well. Damien's favorite dagger and his belt are gone. The dagger would be enough to make Damien pissed, but the belt meant that he'd fucked somebody last night. 

Damien starts scanning the room for his stuff when a table next to the couch catches his eye, or well, the stuff on the table. A glass of water and a couple of white pills are set next to a note. Damien ignores the pain in his head and reaches out to grab the note. He focuses through the pain and reads.

_After how much alcohol you had last night, I can safely assume you have a hangover. The pills are ibuprofen and there's a glass of water to drink it with. Hopefully, you'll wake up before I have to wake you. Take the pills so I don't have to deal with your normal personality, plus hangover grumpiness._

_The guy that saved your ass_

_-Oz_

The noob from the police chase? Why would he be- oh. It's starting to come back to Damien. He dragged the noob to a bar last night and pretty much told him to make sure he didn't die. With the headache Damien has and the loss of memory the guy must have stopped him just short of alcohol poisoning.

Damien grabs the pills and gulps down the water. One might think that Damien wouldn't feel the effects of such medicine, because everyone knows how fire demon's stomachs are just an eternal flame, but surprisingly any drug Damien takes does have the intended result on his system. (He found that out after a few parties with Polly)

Once the pills are gone, another thought hits Damien. He didn't 'do it' with the noob, did he?! God, he hopes not. He can't very well threaten someone he had intercourse with. That kinda crosses a line for Damien. 

Deciding to get to the bottom of things sooner rather than later, Damien toughs out a terrible amount of nausea and walks down the hallway leading out of the room. He opens the first door to see what he can assume is the noob's room. It's actually surprisingly bare. No posters, nicknacks, or any real color. The only relatively interesting thing inside the room is a giant black duffel bag. 

Deeming the room a waste of time, Damien heads towards the ends of the dark hallway to the only door that has light coming from it. Without thinking about the sensitivities that come with hangovers Damien throws the door open and lets the kitchen light assault him. The pain of the sudden bright light sends Damien spiraling so much that he almost falls. However, he's able to stabilize himself with the door frame before that happens.

"Good, you're awake," Oz says lightly, "I hope you took the pain meds."

Damien expected the fucking noob's mind rape thing to irratate his head, but surprisingly it actually got rid of the pain for a couple of seconds. Not that he was going to let the noob know that.

"Stupid mind talking crap," Damien mumbles under his breath.

"I already know it helps get rid of headaches Damien," Oz says just as calmly, "I use it on my friends sometimes when they're sick or do something similar to what you did."

It's true that Oz already knew that his way of comunication helps with headaches. It's the same reason he knew about what to do about hangovers. Amira and Vicky have only invited Oz out drinking once, but that one time was enough to know when they both go drinking, they go all out. Brian had warned him about it at the time, but Oz had believed him to be exaggerating. He was not. Afterwards, everybody came to the conclusion that Oz's telepathy clears all the other thoughts in someone's head for a moment so it temporarily gets rid of the pain.

"I don't know what your fucking talking about," Damien growled in response.

Damien looks around the room to see that he's apparently in the noob's kitchen. Said noob is cooking something in that kitchen.

A loud clicking noise fills the room as toast pops out of the toaster on the counter to Damien's right.

Without looking up, Oz grabs the hot toast out of the toaster, sets it on a plate, and then adds a sunny side up egg too. All in one motion Oz hands his phobias the eating utensils, finishes pouring a glass of orange juice, and grabs the glass plus plate of food to sit on the table.

"That should also help with your hangover."

While Damien wouldn't comment on it, the fluidity in which the noob was able to do so much with almost no effort was commendable and maybe just a little impressive.

"Don't just stand there. I made breakfast, and it's an insult to just ignore somebody's hard work."

"I'm not even fucking-" Damien's stomach takes it's chance to betray him by grumbling loudly. 

Oz turns to Damien and with one of his white eyebrows raised, "Just sit down and eat. You're a bad liar."

"For your information I'm a fantastic fucking liar," Damien scowls at the noob but sits down at the table anyways.

Oz notes how the growling from Damien's stomach sounded more like a crackling fire rather than normal stomach noises, but doesn't comment.

Damien looks at the food and digs in. It could be a little more burnt in his opinion, but it's still okay. He watches as the noob walks over to the counter opposite of Damien, grabs some stuff, and then walks over to the table all while little black creatures ride on his shoulders. Damien had noticed them help cook earlier, but didn't think to question them until now.

"What the hell are those?"

"Hmm?" Oz tilts his head for clarification.

"The little black shits on your shoulders," Damien stuffs a piece of egg into his mouth then points at the black inklings on the noob's shoulders with his fork.

The moment the words leave Damien's mouth Oz's phobias go berserk with tiny screeches of indignation and Anthophobia starts to weep with tiny little cries, "Hey, don't call them shits! They're phobias. They each enbody a different fear. I'm surprised you hadn't seen them earlier."

"Okay, so the little black guys are fears?" Damien wisely doesn't refer to the tiny creatures as shit again.

Oz nods at Damien in confirmation and then sets the three objects he'd taken from the demon earlier on the table.

"MY FUCKING STUFF!" Damien drops the utensils he was using to eat and grabs his things quickly.

Damien wonders why the noob would take his stuff then remember what he thought earlier.

Damien blushes a little as he asks, "Why did you take my stuff, and… um… what happened last night?"

"Well, you got drunk, tried to fight everyone in the bar, and then passed out before you could try to fight a gang of bikers."

At the reminder, flashes of things that happened last night spark in Damien's head.

Relieved that he didn't fuck the nerd, Damien regains his earlier anger, "Okay, I understand that, but why did you TAKE MY STUFF?!"

"Stop yelling," Oz scolds, "I get enough noise complaints from the neighbors when my friends come over. I don't need you piling them on to."

"Answer the question," Damien growls.

"I took your knife because you stabbed me," Damien's eyes widened slightly, "I took your belt because I didn't want you to fall off the motorcycle, and I took your phone because somebody was calling you around seven-thirty asking where you were. They seemed very worried, so I just told them you were hung over and I was taking care of you since I couldn't bring you home."

"I stabbed you?" Damien questions curiously.

"Yeah, you did," Oz pointed towards the whole in his yellow sweater, "You also owe me a new sweater."

"I did you a fucking did you a favor," Damien said as he started going through the new texts his dads sent him, "That thing is ugly. How the hell did you survive me stabbing you though."

"Umm, well, my body can't be physically harmed by anything," As Damien's eyes light up at the statement, Oz quickly continues, "But I still feel the pain from it."

"That's such fucking bullshit! What's the point in being invincible if it still hurts?!" Damien grumbles in disappointment as Oz just shrugs.

Damien scrolls through his phone looking at his dads' worried texts.

**StanDad:** Are you alright?

**FatherLucien:** You said you were supposed to be here by morning right?

**StanDad:** Did you get arrested again?! Do you need us to pick you up?!

**FatherLucien:** I know you asked us not to call you, while you're out but if you don't answer soon we'll call.

**StanDad:** If you muted your phone or are ignoring us again, you're in so much trouble.

Almost all the texts stop around 8:30. Which apparently was when the fucking noob stole Damien's phone and answered his dads' call. There's only two texts from after that call.

**FatherLucien:** The friend you went drinking with answered your phone and told us you had a little too much last night. Please text us when you get up.

**StanDad:** Your friend told us you had a hangover and that he's taking care of you this morning. Make sure you thank him for taking care of you alright.

Damien scowls at his dad's last comment, but texts them he's alright anyways. They fucking worry way to much. 

Cheery pop music rings throughout the kitchen and Damien looks up to see the noob on his phone with one of the phobias he has laughing on his shoulder.

"So you finally decided to text your dads you're alright," Oz states with a glance at Damien.

"How the fuck did you know that?!" Damien damanded angrily, "Did you fucking tap my phone or something?!"

"When I was on the phone with Mr. Stan earlier he pretty much insisted I give him my number because he said he didn't have any of your other friends'," Oz says amusedly, "Then Mr. Lucien called my phone and thanked me for taking care of you for about thirty minutes. They just texted me, that you texted them."

Damien's face goes red from embarrassment, "Shut the fuck up about my dads noob!"

"I'm not making fun of them," Oz says with a chuckle, "They're really nice actually. Wouldn't believe they were yours if they didn't call your phone."

"What fucking EVER!" Damien responds with an even redder face. Well, he did until a thought suddenly came to him, "Hey noob."

"What?"

"How the fuck did you even talk to my parents over the fucking phone if you can't speak out loud?"

Oz goes rigid in Damien's field of sight before he awkwardly chuckles, "Umm… I can- I use my powers to- Well I-"

"Don't fucking pass out while you try to bullshit me noob," Damien growls, "If I'm a bad liar, then your a fucking terrible one. If you don't want to answer don't. I don't need to know your life story anyways."

Oz stays unnaturally still for a long time before a tiny whisper sounds out in Damien's head. It's almost too quiet for him to hear, "Thank you…"

"You're welcome or whatever," Damien stands up from his spot on the table and walks away with his phone in hand, "I'm gonna get going. My dads might know I'm alright, but that doesn't stop them from fucking worrying."

Damien summons a portal with his phone and not a second later it appears in the noob's kitchen. Damien puts a foot in before he remembers his dad's last text.

"Oh, and I guess thank you for taking care of me instead of dumping me in a ditch somewhere. I didn't think I would actually get that drunk last night," 

Without waiting for a response Damien steps through the portal and it closes behind him. It was at that exact moment he remembered something.

...

...

...

...

...

...

"MY FUCKING BIKE!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for anyone who's confused, Oz's anxiety makes him worry a lot about what other people think about him. He's gotten much better since he originally met Vicky, Amira, and Brian, but he still doesn't want anyone to know certain things about him for fear of being rejected. There's also a lot of other things in his personality that are influenced by this, but not as heavily.


	6. Arcade Escapades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oz convinces his friends to drop the idea of going to a bar and having a fun trip to the arcade instead. However, Damien wants his bike back and he's just the kind of idiot who can't do it. Oz comes home to a bad surprise.

"So..? Are you ready for a GREAT night?!" Vicky yells outside of a newly opened arcade.

"Yeah!" Oz cheers at the frankenstein's enthusiasm.

"Remind me why we're here instead of a bar, Vick?" Amira says less than impressed.

"Because Oz practically begged us not to go to the bar I mentioned, didn't you Oz," Vicky turns to me to confirm her statement.

"Yeah, trust me. We don't need to go there," Vicky had wanted to visit the bar Damien had dragged Oz to the night before, but Oz had been very adamant about not  _ ever  _ going there again.

"Oh yeah, it's cause Oz probably fucked someone there," Amira says nonchalantly.

Oz immediately blushes and phobias pop up to laugh at his pain, "No! I just think that we'll enjoy this place much more than that old bar!"

"You totally fucked someone there," Ignoring Oz's telepathic protests Amira continues, "I can still get alcohol here though, so we're good."

Without waiting for her friends Amira heads into the arcade and supposedly straight to the bar in the back. Vicky runs after her and shouts something unintelligible about getting a spot at a racing game.

Brian turns to Oz with a sigh, "There they go."

Brian hadn't been up for the originally planned outing to the bar, but when the arcade was suggested as an alternative he had jumped on the bandwagon. His reasoning had been something along the lines of 'Amira and Vicky will just end up playing DDR till they drop around midnight instead of getting drunk.'

With an amused shrug from Oz, both of the quieter monsters went to follow their charismatic friends. Hopefully, Oz will have fun at the arcade too. He's never been to one before so it'll be a new experience on his part.

"Why aren't you wearing your normal sweater tonight?" Brian asks curiously.

"Hmm? Oh, my sweater got a hole hole in it from… an unfortunate recent event, so I pulled this out of the closet," Oz says lightly.

After trying all afternoon to sew his sweater back to a wearable condition, Oz ended up making matters worse when he somehow ripped the shoulders off. A few hours of grieving his favorite sweater later, Oz found an old yellow cardigan to put on over a white long sleeved button down. He even found a gold watch in one of his dressers that he chose to wear with it. It was actually very comfortable with his grey pants. In fact, Oz might even like this outfit more than his old sweater.

"Unfortunate recent events? Never took you to be so vague," Brian chuckles good naturedly.

"Yeah, I'm just so mysterious," Oz jokes.

"Does that also fall under why you broke into my house and took my toaster last night? Or why I'm missing an egg and two pieces of bread from my kitchen?" Brian asks with a chuckle.

"Well, I did tell you I don't have to eat right," Brian nods in response and lets Oz continue, "Because of that I don't keep food in my kitchen or have any cooking stuff. I had a guest who did eat so I stole your food."

"A guest?" Brian takes one look at Oz's solemn face and decides better than to ask, "Never mind, I don't think I want to know."

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Oz's phone suddenly vibrates in his pocket as his cheerful ringtone plays for everyone to hear, "Go on in Brian, I'm gonna check that."

"Ok, we'll probably either be at the bar or one of the shooting games Amira likes when you finish," Brian says as steps in, "I'll make sure neither of them get in trouble until you're there to bail their asses out of it."

"I wouldn't expect anything else from you," Oz says as the door to the arcade closes.

Oz takes out his phone and steps away from the door as a group of elves walks into the arcade. Immediately Oz's phone starts buzzing rapid fire as someone starts spamming his phone. When he realizes who it is Oz immediately silences it. Hopefully, Damien will just think Oz is busy (which he is) and give up trying to contact him. Oz has a lot of stuff to consider about the red fire demon before he talks to him again. Plus, after the chaos he went through last night and this morning, Oz deserves a de-stress day.

...Meanwhile in the 8th circle of hell.

**Damien LaVey:** noob, where the fuck do you live. you've got my motorcycle

**Damien LaVey** : i'm gonna come get it

**Damien LaVey:** are u fucking ignoring me?! 

**Damien LaVey:** u better not be answering the phone cuz your dying or some shit

**Damien LaVey:** answer fucker!!!

Damien sends text after text at the noob waiting for some sort of reply. Portals are fucking awsome for traveling quickly, but the one downside is while Damien can summon a portal to him at anytime he wants, he can't use it to go anywhere. The only pre-set location the portals have are his house, otherwise he has to put the address in like it's a fucking GPS. 

Damien impatiently waits for the noob to respond, but thirty minutes later gives up and decides to take matters into his own hands. After the three different times Damien ended up in jail, his dads installed a tracker in his phone. Of course he can just turn it off by asking Vera for a favor, but right now it might actually come in handy. 

Leaving his room and heading through the castle, terrified screams of the damned are heard from outside. Making his way to the throne room Damien throws the door open without knocking.

"AND YOU DARE SAY- Oh! Hello son!" Stan LaVey sits in his throne next to Lucien LaVey as they decide the punishment for some lower demon's mistakes, "What do you need?"

"You know that fucking tracker you put in my phone?" Damien ignores the groveling monster at his fathers' feet and shows them his phone, "Do you think you can tell me the address of where I was this morning?"

"How do you know about the tracker?!" Lucien gasps in surprise. His husband said he installed it without being caught.

"You're both not as sneaky as you think," Damien replies unimpressed, "So can you do what I asked."

"Weren't you at a friend's house this morning? Can you not just ask for their address?" Stan asks curiously.

"I'd never been to the fucker's house before today and I forgot my bike," Damien growls out in irritation, "He's busy doing something so he won't answer the phone."

"Oh! Alright then," Lucien pulls out his phone, pulls up the app, and sends Damien his friend's address, "If you do see Oz at his home, do make sure to say hello for us."

"Yes," Stan agrees, "Knowing you have someone as responsible as Oz to keep you in check does take a lot of stress out of our days."

"Whatever," Damien ignores his fathers' comments and transfers the noob's address to the portal summoning app his dads paid for. A few moments later a fiery fire portal opens up and steps through.

"Have fun Damien!" Stan says with Lucien finishing, "We love you!"

Before the portal closes Damien grunts out a reply, "Yeah, love you guys too."

The two rulers of hell then decide to execute the lower demon for his transgressions. 

... Back with Oz and his friends

"GO! GO! GO! GO!" Vicky shouts over the loud crowd in the arcade.

After spending about an hour with everyone playing different games, the four friends met back up at the prize counter to realize that alone each of them only had enough tickets to get some weird yellow mouse plush. After a trip to the bar to drown out their disappointment, Brian suggested they add all their tickets together so they could get one of the big prizes. Once everyone counted their horde the total was 160,000 tickets.

However, after a heated discussion nobody could decide on one thing to get. Brian wanted to get an old handheld game system for exactly 160,000 tickets, Vicky wanted the large Dragon Heat body pillow for 145,000 tickets, Amira wanted the fire print shower cap (She absolutly hates getting her hair wet) for 125,000 tickets, and Oz wanted the fifty pack set of classic horror movies for 150,000 tickets. After a bit of deliberation all four of them decided on an arcade game championship. 

The first two competitors were Brian and Amira at a shooting game. Oz thought that the clear winner would be Amira, with those games being her favorite, but Brian showed off why he's considered the person you should never challenge to a competition by blowing the original high score out of the water. 

Next, Vicky and Oz competed in a game of skee ball. Both of them were neck and neck, until at the very end when Vicky went to throw her last ball, she somehow tripped over thin air, causing her to faceplant into the ground and lose her ball.

Oz ended up going against Brian in the finals and his two other friends decided what the last game would be. After an intense game of rock, paper, scissors, gun, Vicky brought them to a racing game. They decided the winner would be the person who wins the most out of three races.

Right now, Oz is in last place trying to figure out the mechanics of the game as Vicky tries to encourage him to do better. Brian on the other hand is about to lap Oz. In a moment of frustration Oz let's go of the steering wheel and puts his head in his hands out of exasperation. This is nothing like actual driving!

To Oz's surprise, when he lifts his head back up, he's gone from last to coming up on sixth. One phobia on each side of his head has grabbed the wheel and started steering. Both phobias give Oz a smile and he thinks maybe all hope isn't lost. With his new strategy Oz makes it to second place behind Brian in the first round.

Amira's laughing uncontrollable beside the game while Vicky is watching in shock at the new development, "Isn't that technically cheating?!"

"Who fucking cares Vicky," Amira manages to say between laughs, "It's godamn hilarious! GO OZ, YOU CAN ACTUALLY WIN THIS!"

With that great encouragement, Oz and his phobias are able to win the second race to Brian's displeasure. The third race starts off with both players neck and neck, trying to stop the other from winning at any cost. Oz's phobias try to slam Brian into the wall, and Brian tries to knock Oz off a cliff. Oz is in the lead in the final stretch when Brian uses his last speed boost to overtake him and win the final race.

"HELL FUCKING YEAH!" Brian jumps out of his seat and punches the air in victory.

All three of his friends stare at him in shock, they've never heard Brian curse before.

Brian seems to notice their looks and immediately scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, "Haha… umm sorry?"

"Holy shit! You just fucking cussed," Amira smiles wickedly.

"Hahaha you totally only cuss when you get competitive don't you," Vicky chuckles at the flustered zombie.

"Good game, Brian," Oz says with a smile.

"Thanks Oz," Brian takes his out and turns away from his other laughing friends, "You really gave me a run for my money in that last round." 

"Haha, it was really all these guys that did the hard work," Oz refers to the two phobias on his shoulders. The tiny black creatures blush significantly before burrowing back into Oz's black matter body.

Before Brian can reply, Vicky stuffs her messy pile of tickets in his arms. Amira follows behind with her bag of tickets she ripped into singles. Taking his cue, Oz reaches into his pocket and takes out the three single stacks of tickets he folded.

They head back to the prize counter and after the employee spends like fifteen minutes counting out each individual ticket, Brian finally got his prize. Vicky orders the group a celebration pizza for doing their best in the game tournament earlier, and Oz thanks his phobias by letting them dig into the grea sy food. After the pizza's gone, Oz offers to bring his friends home. Vicky and Brian agree, but Amira refuses saying that her apartment was only a ten minute walk away anyways.

After bringing the two directly back to their homes and some last farwells, Oz is ready to finally go home and just watch some movies for the rest of the night. Oz didn't have to actually sleep and he's still somehow not hungry because of last night, so he figures he might as well watch some old horror movies in his free time.

As Oz disappears into the shadows inside Vicky's house he arrives outside his apartment.  _ Which is on fire. _

Oz stands frozen in sheer shock as he feels the heat from where he's standing. No firemen are here yet, so it must have just started. There's only one person Oz can think of that would do this.

Recovering from his stupor Oz immediately takes his phone out and checks the earlier messages from Damien. Before he can confront the demon through text, someone comes running from around the back of the building looking panicked. That person is none other than Damien LaVay.

"OF FUCK! OH SHIT! WHO WOULD MAKE FUCKING CURTAINS SO DAMN FLAMMABLE!" Damien curses to no one in particular as the fire rages on.

"Damien." The sheer cold rage from Oz almost puts the fire out by itself, "Why is my apartment on fire?!"

Damien whips around to see Oz standing beside the single tree outside of the apartment that has yet to be caught on fire. 

"Oh, umm hey noob!" Damien chuckles awkwardly under the glare of rage directed at him, "So look, I umm… might have accidentally lit your place on fire."

"REALLY?!" Oz projects to the entire neighborhood out of rage, "I COULDN'T FUCKING TELL!"

Damien cringes a little at the volume of the noob's mental shouting and tries to come up with a suitable excuse. Switching the blame to someone else usually works right?!

"Hey, if anything, this is your fault," Damien says confidently, "You're the one who left my bike somewhere."

Oz's eye flinches in anger. Without replying to Damien he stomps around the apartment while gesturing for Damien to follow. Oz walks over to the single bush behind the flaming building and pulls out his motorcycle, that is completely fine.

"Oh! That's where is was?!" Damien rushes past the noob and grabs the handlebars of his bike with a sigh of relief, only to remember what he did to find the bike.

Damien turns to Oz to see how angry he is but is shocked to see the noob taking off his shirt. Immediately Damien averts his gaze.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STRIPPING?!"

"Because I have important stuff in there that I'm not going to let burn," Oz says calmly as he sets his watch on the ground, "I don't need my clothes to burn too."

"You might not be able to die, but you still said it hurts!" Damien yells at the noob hopeing he won't do something so stupid.

"Oh, it'll hurt like a bitch, but I'm going in there anyways," Oz says with determination.

"If it's that fucking important I'll just go in and get it!" Damien yells while still keeping his eyes away from the noob, "I'm fucking fire proof after all."

Oz looks up to see Damein looking away from him and sighs, "I have my boxers on, you don't have to look away. As for you going in, you might be immune to fire, but you still need oxygen. The only thing to breathe in there is smoke. Thanks for the gesture, but I'm going in because I don't need to breathe."

Damien finally looks back towards Oz only to see him halfway to the back door. Before Damien can stop him, Oz opens the door and enters the raging inferno. As Damien waits for the noob to come back out he does something he rarely ever does. Damien regrets something.

Why the hell did he think it was a good idea to burn a fucking curtain?! Damien just wanted the noob to know he  _ could  _ torch his apartment if he wanted to, Damien didn't want to actually burn it down! Setting buildings on fire on purpose is FUCKING COOL, burning a building down on accident means you're a idiot! 

Now, because he did something so stupid, Damien is waiting outside a burning building hoping the noob who helped him fight a cyclops is okay. He's hoping the guy who helped him escape the police doesn't actually die. Damien's praying that the nice person who took care of him when they didn't have to, comes out of the building Damien lit up in flames.

Meanwhile, Oz's entire being is lit on fire with pain and so literal fire. Every part of his body is burning away and then immediately reforming under the slow acting flames. Oz is very thankful that his phobias stay in his core and don't have to feel the pain of being burned to a crisp. 

Despite the pain however, Oz walks through the flames and touches the red-molten metal doorknob to his room. With all the other parts of his body in agony, Oz almost doesn't notice how hot the doorknob is, almost anyways. He walks past his flaming dresser, bed, and T.V to crouch down next to a large black duffel bag that Oz keeps his most valuable items in.

Slinging the bag over his shoulder, Oz retreats back out of the house while thanking his past self for spending the extra money on an enchanted bag able to withstand anything short of a nuke. It might have cost a pretty penny, but now it was worth it.

It feels like an eternity waiting for something, anything to come out of the flames. When Damien can finally see the noob walking towards the exit he lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

As the noob finally comes out of the building the first thing Damien notices is that he looks… melted. Any distinct features the shadow guy had before were now sliding down where his face used to be. Damien might have seen a lot of crap, but this still made him want to gag. 

The second thing Damien notices is that the noob is carrying the same black duffel bag he had seen in his room that morning. How the hell the thing was still in one piece Damien couldn't figure out.

"Holy shit! Are you alright?! You look like your fucking dying?!" Damien rushes to the melted looking blob of black goo.

" ~~I' **m** _Fiiii_~~ ~~nE~~ ,  ~~**d** **_O_ ** ~~ ~~n'T~~ ~~w~~ ~~**o** _ R _ ~~ ~~ry~~. ~~i'Ve~~ ~~**FeE** ~~ ~~ELt~~ ~~wOr~~ ~~**s** e ~~ ," A garbled mess of noises barely distinguishable as words fills Damien's head as the noob tries to talk.

"I can't understand any of the shit you're fucking saying," Damien starts to panic, "Do I need to call a fucking ambulance or something?! Fuck, usually people call those for me! What-"

Damien is knocked out of his panic by the rapidly changing form of the noob. His eyes start to slide back up his face and the melty property of his body starts to try and become firm again as his whole body shifts. As much as Damien wants to run away from this god awful display, something deep in his core tells him to never look away from the noob when this happens, or he'll be worse for wear. A sick gurgling sound comes from the form and to Damien's surprise an actual voice follows out loud.

" ~~**p** **_l_ ** Ea **S** ~~ _~~e~~ ~~H~~ _ ~~**A** Nd  ~~ m _ E  _ **m** _ y  _ clothes _. _ "

Damien stares at the blob that's rapidly reforming and then suddenly understands the command. Quickly, Damien runs across the yard and grabs the clothes from earlier. Without looking back, he tosses the clothes in the direction that he came from. 

" **T** _ ha _ **_n_ ** k y **ou** ," The voice is in Damien's head again, and it's becoming less and less distorted.

The sound of the clothes being picked up and footsteps soon follow. Damien's honestly afraid to turn around and see what horrors await him this time. However, before he can work up the nerve to turn around, the noob walks into his line of sight looking completely normal.

"Ah, I'm sorry you had to see that," Oz says honestly, "This is probably.. too much to ask, but can you not tell anyone about this?"

Damien doesn't know what he expected from the noob, but it wasn't this, "You want  _ me, _ to keep it a secret that  _ I,  _ lit your house on fire and almost killed  _ you _ ?!"

"Y-yes, please?" Oz means to say it as a confirmation, but his own nerves make it sound more like a question.

"YOU KNOW WHAT?! FUCKING SURE! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED, BUT I'M TAKING MY BIKE AND LEAVING!"

Without waiting for the noob to respond Damien tries to leave as quickly as possible. He opens a portal, grabs his motorcycle, and flips off the burning building on his way back home.

Oz sighs in relief when Damien agrees to keep this event a secret. He knew how horrible it looks when he regenerates and he wouldn't wish that sight on anyone. Luckily, Damien didn't seem too traumatized by his messed up form. With one last look at his flaming apartment building, Oz takes out his phone.

**Yellow boi:** Can I stay at someone's house tonight? My apartment just burned down.

The rest of Oz's night is spent making up excuses to tell his friends and the police. So much for having a de-stress day.

\-------------------Extra---------------

Damien is sitting in the garden near the castle watching as lower demons chase sinners back and forth with giant barbed whips. He's been thinking about how he lit the noob's house on fire a lot lately. 

Stan LaVay is walking through the 8th circle of hell supervising sinners punishments, when he sees his son sitting alone on a bench overlooking the field. Normally he would dismiss such things, Damien does like to be alone more often than not, but something in Stan's dad instincts tells him to check up on his son.

"Damien!" Stan approaches the bench his son is sitting on slowly, "What's my favourite prince of hell doing out here watching the lower demons work?"

"Fucking nothing," Damien grumbles in response without much enthusiasm.

At this point Stan knows something is wrong with his boy. Everything his son does is filled with passion, just like Stan's husband. The fact he would say something with so little conviction is a dead giveaway.

"Damien," Stan sits down next to his son softly, "If you have something on your mind I'm willing to listen."

Damien let's out a loud huff and his tail swings back and forth rapidly, "Have you ever… done something on accident… and then felt really bad about it afterwards? Like… your stomach has lost its resistance to fire and is burning you from inside out?"

"Well it sounds like you feel guilty," Stan replies with a pat on his son's back, "It's completely normal to feel bad about something you did on accident."

"It is?" Damien asks quietly and his dad nods in response, "Well, what the fuck do I do to make this feeling go away?!"

"I find that the easiest way to get rid of guilt is either to apologize or try and fix what you did."

"Huh," Damien thinks about what he could do to fix what he did and a certain person he knows pops into mind, "I think I got it! Thanks dad!"

Stan watches his son run into the castle and sighs with a smile, oh to be young and naive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The entirety of the arcade part of this chapter was inspired by a post I saw on pinterest. It pretty much showed how different people keel their arcade tickets. I saw this picture of someone who took and ripped every individual ticket off and walked around with them in a bag. I thought Amira would totally do that.


	7. Cooking with Oz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oz is living with Amira while searching for a new apartment. With dietary problems ravaging Oz's daily life will he decide to do something reckless and desperate?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so this chapter is shorter than most, because the next one is a kicker. So... be prepared for that!

Oz turns the heat on the stove up as he sets a pan onto the heated surface. He waits a few seconds before adding a bit of butter to the pan. After doing that, Oz grabs the batter he made earlier that morning and gets the ¼ measuring cup to pour it with. Once the butter is completely melted Oz carefully pours one cup of the pancake batter, starting in the middle then slowly pouring it in a swirl to keep the finished product round. He waits for bubbles to show up on the top of the pancake then neatly pushes the spatula underneath and flips it with his wrist. Once the other side is cooked, Oz sets the pancake on a plate. He uses the rest of the batter to make about five more pancakes and just as he finishes a door further into the apartment is heard opening.

"Oz? Why the hell are you up so early," Amira yells from the hallway.

"It's 12:30 Amira, and I was making you breakfast," Oz answers.

"You… what?!" Almost as fast as the words make it out of her mouth Amira is already in the kitchen drooling over the fresh pancakes, "~Oooooh shit!"

Without waiting for a prompt, Amira grabs the plate and heads to the living room. Unlike Oz's apartment, well old apartment, Amira didn't have a table in her kitchen. All her meals are eaten on the couch or in her room. Which Oz had a little bit of a distaste for, but didn't mention. Afterall, he hopefully won't be living in Amira's apartment for more than another week.

Before following Amira, Oz puts the pan, spatula, and batter bowl into the sink then washes them quickly. He puts them back where they belong then heads to the living room where Amira has already shoved half the pancakes into her mouth.

"Youf fwacking pwancakes are sho gud," Amira compliments Oz without stopping her pancake intake.

"Thanks Amira, I watched a couple of tutorials this morning before making them."

"Thwis wus yur- *gulp* first try?" Amira stuffs the last piece in her mouth then looks at Oz as if he's a god.

"Yes? I just followed the instructions," Oz says with a shrug.

"You know Oz, I'm absolutely glad you've made breakfast for me the entire week you've been staying here, but you do know you don't have to right?"

"I know… It's just if I don't do something for you I'll feel like a freeloader."

Oz doesn't want to be a burden to Amira while he's here. If she kicks him out, Oz won't have anywhere else to stay while he searches for a new apartment. Brian didn't have enough room for Oz, and Vicky's a bit of a hoarder so the same goes for her spacewise. That's why when all four of them meet up for a hang out session they usually go to Oz or Amira's place. One of which is now extra crispy.

"A freeloader is someone who's evicted from their place and then bugs their friends. Your apartment burned down from a gas leak and you were left on the streets with nothing but a duffel bag," Amira states confidently, "You're definitely not a freeloader Oz. Get that shit out of your head."

And there's the lie that Oz was able to come up with about his apartment. He thought he would get called out for the blatant fib, but it turns out that the apartment building he was staying at actually did have a gas leak. Supposedly about five minutes after Oz left for Amira's house the whole building had a second fire from the leak and almost exploded. Luck was on Oz's side for once.

Oz looked at Amira to see that she was completely genuine and slowly nodded, "If you say so, but I'm still making you breakfast."

"Dude, do you think I'm going to complain about that!?" Amira says loudly, "You're cooking is bomb for you not being able to eat! I'm kinda jealous!"

"Thanks Amira," Oz grabs her plate a silverware to wash as she heads back to her room to do… whatever she does there. Oz doesn't actually know.

The moment Amira leaves the room multiple phobias pop up all over Oz's body chirping wildly. Oz tries to ignore them as he walks to the kitchen, but they finally get on his nerves when one tries to knock the plate out of his hands.

"Look, I know you guys are worried about me, but I'm fine alright?! Just because I haven't eaten in a week doesn't mean I'm-" Oz's stomach lets out an unholy amalgam of gurgling sounds that sends him falling against the counter with him gripping the plate in a vice grip. In response the phobias all stop abruptly and glance at Oz worriedly, "That doesn't mean anything."

After moving in with Amira, Oz decreased his nightly fear runs down to zero. Not only would Amira be worried if she woke up and Oz was gone, but she would also get curious about where Oz is going. If he lied about going to the park or something by himself Amira would insist on coming along with him so it would be a friend trip.

Oz didn't know if he could die from hunger, but he was really pushing his luck and if he could. He just needs to pull through a little while longer. Soon enough, Oz will have his own apartment again and he can go look for food an entire week if he wants. Amira doesn't need to know about this, he'll make it through. Oz always does.

Oz pushes himself upright again and starts cleaning the dishes. The phobias quiet down, but don't cease their tiny squawks of worry. At least they don't try this around Amira.

"I don't know why you all are so riled up," Oz says to the black inklings, "It's not like you feel my pain or anything."

The phobias frown and shake their heads at Oz is what seems to be disappointment. Oz finishes the dishes and returns back to the couch. 

The moment Oz sits down his stomach cramps and he has to try his best to ignore it as he pulls up the home finding agency's website. Oz has to find a place near this area, it has to be big enough for his friends to visit him at, and after what happened to his old apartment, it has to be somewhat fireproof. Oz doesn't expect anything to come up under the search conditions, so when a small one story house that's fire resilient shows up Oz does what he does best and immediately panics, at the price. 

One hundred fifty thousand dollars. It's Oz's dream house, small and quaint but prepared for disaster, it's still one hundred fifty thousand dollars though. That is way out of Oz's budget.

It's not even the full price! Apparently the house was originally two hundred fifty thousand dollars, but after the previous owners died to serial killer the price got marked down. THE HOUSE IS MARKED DOWN AND OZ STILL CAN'T AFFORD IT!

Oz is considering banging his head against a wall until he feels better when the universe decides to hit him over the head with a bat.

**Damien LaVey:** Hey noob, I need you to meet up with me for something.

Oz hears his phone ding, and stares at the text for about an hour before he even considers responding. He really doesn't want to encourage Damien's behavior at all, but whatever he has planned probably involves scaring somebody. Oz's stomach growls again at the very thought and Oz's phobias start bouncing frantically ushering him to respond.

**FUCKINGNOOB:** Why should I?

A few moments pass and Damien texts back.

**Damien LaVey:** Look, I've got a friend that needs me to do her a favor. I could probably do it myself, but you would be fucking useful.

**FUCKINGNOOB:** Is that it? What do you want me to do?

**Damien LaVey:** Meet me tomorrow at your old apartment and I'll tell you.

Oz considers outright rejecting Damien, but two things stop him. One, Oz is desperate for something to eat and Damien is his best bet. Two, Damien didn't threaten Oz once in that whole conversation, which seems like an improvement with his personality. After a bit more thought, Oz resolves to go.

\------------------Extra--------------------

Amira's been worried lately. She's probably being paranoid. Amira knows Oz doesn't need to sleep or eat, but if he doesn't need either of those what's got him acting so… strange?

Just yesterday Amira found Oz in the kitchen clutching his nonexistent gut in pain. When she called Oz out on it he just dismissed her saying something about accidentally bruising his stomach. Amira's sure he was lying however because when she asked how, Oz's brain seemed to shut down for a minute. W ell, that plus the fact that you can't bruise black matter.

With all that, who could blame Amira for being a bit overprotective. If Oz wants to go somewhere she wants to follow. With whatever Oz has going on, Amira doubts he has much self preservation right now. She's afraid if she lets him go out by himself he might not come back.

Amira would love to just outright ask Oz what's wrong, but he has all those stupid mental things that practically force him to keep his problems to himself. She knows that if she brought it up Oz would just brush her off and change the subject no matter how serious she is.

That's why right now Amira is trying to look up everything she can on fearlings. Maybe it's something in his species that's fucking Oz up so bad. To Amira's surprise however, barely anything  about the creatures is on the internet, other than a few sentences in some old history books about Hell.

After searching for three hours straight Amira gives up in frustration. Everything is on the internet! Why is finding anything on Oz so difficult?! Deciding to take a break Amira goes to take a shower. Afterwards, she'll go right back to researching.

Oz is Amira's friend, so she  **will** find out how to make him feel better.


	8. Bank what?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oz makes up a good excuse to leave Amira's apartment alone and heads to meet Damien about what he wants from him. Damien drops the bomb that he wants Oz to help him- ROB A BANK?!

"Hey Amira!" Oz knocks on his temporary roommate's door.

"What is it Oz?" Amira calls back from within her room.

"I'm going out to meet up with someone today, okay? I wanted to let you know." 

"Oh, really? Give me a minute and I'll be ready to go," The sound of shuffling is heard from the other side of the door.

"No!" The shuffling inside the room stops, "What I mean is… I'm meeting up with a landlord to get a closer look at a new apartment. I-If you come with me t-they might get the wrong idea."

Oz feels bad about lying to Amira, but he doesn't have another choice if he wants to go meet Damien. He just hopes that he sounds convincing enough to get Amira to stay home.

The door to Amira's room opens up and she gives Oz an unimpressed look with a raised eyebrow, "A  _ landlord _ huh? What's the address?"

"Umm, I don't remember, b-but I can text you it," Oz says, trying to keep his lie going steady.

"Ok go ahead," Amira says bringing out her phone, "Just text me it now."

"Uh, well you see-" Oz tries to come up with some type of excuse, but is failing miserably.

"Oz, are you really going to visit a landlord?" Amira asks cautiously.

"Yes I am!"

Oz grabs his phone out of his pocket and immediately scours his phone for an address that will work to convince Amira where he's going. The page for the house Oz was looking at earlier is still up on his phone and Oz immediately texts the website link.

A soft ding comes from Amira's phone as she clicks on the link, "Oh… hmm… fire resilient? You're going for a house huh?"

"Y-yeah?" Oz's statement sounds more like a question.

Amira sees the price and immediately her eyes widen in shock and she whistles, "That's a lot of cash Oz. You sure you want to try and get this place?"

"Umm… I at least want to go a-and check it out even if I can't get it," Oz states truthfully. He does want to see it before he decides about ridding it from his list, he's just not doing that today.

"And you don't want me to go with you why?" Amira says more to herself than Oz. 

"W-well," Oz tries to find a way to get Amira to stay in her apartment without hurting her feelings. Then it comes to him, "It was supposed to be a surprise!"

"What?!" Amira says suddenly, "Why did you let me see this then?! You know I fucking love surprises!"

Oz rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, "Would you have let me leave if I didn't?"

Amira's face turns red and she grumbles something unintelligible before speaking up, "Sorry about that Oz. I just wanted to make sure you stay safe."

The genuine concern Amira has for Oz makes him feel five times worse for lying to her. He's such a bad friend.

"When do you need to leave?" Amira asks with a more upbeat tone.

"Around now actually," Oz says, trying to stay cheerful in front of Amira.

"Well then, don't let me keep you," Amira practically pushes Oz to the living room and out the front door.

Oz turns around to say goodbye to Amira when she cuts him off, "You better stay safe okay Oz? If you get in trouble call me Vicky, or Brian. Don't hesitate."

"O-ok," Oz stutters out half-heartedly as Amira closes the door softly behind her. 

Oz stands at the door and stares for a while considering why he just lied to one of his only friends. With a last glance at the apartment Oz tries to push these thoughts from his head. What's done is done.

Oz steps through the midday shadows of the buildings and next thing he knows he's in front of the rubble that was his apartment.

Damien's setting in the charred remains of the noob's home waiting for him to get there. Damien's trying to be fucking nice by politely inviting the guy to help him with something for Vera. Not that Vera knows what he's doing.

After brainstorming a couple of ideas Damien figured that if he wanted to fix what he did to the noob he needed to help the idiot find a new apartment, and what's the best way to help with apartment finding without actually helping. Giving said person a fuck ton of money. Of course it's not gonna be Damien's money, that's spent on knives, explosives, and other fun things. No, he was going to get the noob to help him rob a bank!

Vera's underground business has been having trouble corrupting said bank and if there's no actual money in it, then Vera won't ever have to worry about it in the first place. Damien gets to help two friends out with one project. Wait, when did Damien start considering the fucking noob his friend?!

Said noob walks out from the shadows of a charred wall and starts looking around for Damien promptly interrupting Damien's train of thought.

Once the guy spots him Damien waves him over, "Fucking noob! Over here!"

As he starts walking towards Damien, Oz tries to think of why Damien would make their meeting spot the charred remains of the building he used to live in. Is he going to brag about it or something? No, Damien seemed pretty serious about needing Oz's help for something. Must just be Damien's lack of any any reasoning.

"What is it you want from me?" Oz asks curiously.

"I want you to help me rob a bank," Damien says bluntly right off the bat. Might as well let the noob know what he's in for early on, "My friend has a problem with the place so I'm doing her ass a favor and stealing all it's money. The plan is-"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait," Oz says backtracking, "You want me to help you rob a bank for your girlfriend?!"

"She's not my fucking girlfriend, and yeah. I want your help to rob a bank, now clean the fucking cotton out of your ears and listen," Damien growls out, "so the plan-"

"What bank are you even talking about?!" Oz asks frantically, "You don't just spring robbing a bank on someone?!"

"The fucking G.F.E.B," Damien answers ignoring his own irratation. How did he forget to say what bank? That's kind of important.

"THE GARGOYLE FEDERAL ECONOMICS BANK?!" Oz shouts in surprise, "The absolute most secure bank in all of monster history?! How the hell do you plan to do that?! It's practically a suicide mission!"

"Well, if you would stop asking questions and start fucking listening I'd tell you. So look, the last time my friend came over she left this for me. It's the entire layout of the bank that came into her possession," The blueprint didn't just happen to be in Vera's possession, but she also didn't give it to Damien. What she doesn't know won't kill her, "As you can see the whole thing is completely flammable and ready to be burnt down. The plan is, I teleport us there, you hide us in someone's shadow, we steal some money, then blow the whole place up."

"That… is your plan… to rob a high security bank?" Oz asks, hoping for Damien to be joking.

"Yeah! You fucking in?!" Damien says with a smirk.

"NO! That's a terrible plan," Oz says irritated at Damien's stupidity.

"Oh, like you could come up with something better?!" Damien says snarkily.

"Give me that and we'll see," Oz snatchs the paper from Damien and finds a spot to roll it out on the ground.

"What are you doing?!" Damien growls as he follows Oz to where he's rolled the paper out on the ground.

"Making a better plan," Oz says while reading the list of details that come with the blue prints, "Do you have a pen?"

"No?" Damien says, "Why the fuck do you need one?"

"Don't worry I've got it then." 

Oz takes a large piece of glass from the rubble and slits his index finger a little. He then uses the black inky substance from his finger as a marker on the blueprint.

"Did you just-" Damien gets cut off by Oz.

"Don't worry about me staining the blueprint. I can just make the stuff dissolve if I want to. It'll be easier for me to make a plan like this."

Damien decides not to respond to that as the noob starts mumbling in Damien's head with him only understanding some words.

"Hmmm…. G.F.E.B…. shipments every thursday 8:00 p.m….. annual guard rotations and check-ins….. only specialized people are allowed into the vault….. and a teleportation shield…? Wait Damien, did you even read all this?"

"No. I just saw where the entrance is and looked up the fucking address to put in."

"Well, if you had. You would know that the place has the same type of teleportation shield that the city we had a motorcycle chase in. We can't just go in."

"So what you're saying is it's impossible?" Damien says gruffly.

"No, it's not impossible. If we-" Oz starts drawing black lines and text all over the page with Damien looking over his shoulder, "Then we wait until 8:30 and hide here. We'll only have thirty minutes at most, but… it's quite possible we could do it."

Damien smirks as he listens to the plan, turns out the noob's pretty fucking smart. Maybe he'll be even more useful in the future than he originally thought.

"So you're in," Damien says once the noob finishes planning.

Oz just then, realizes he created an entire hypothetical plan for if he and Damien robbed a bank. After glancing back at his handy work Cynophobia pops up and nods at him.

Oz looks up at Damien's smug face and sighs, "...fine, but if we want to get it done we have to do it tonight."

"Fucking perfect," Damien laughs menacingly, "Those fuckers won't know what hit them!"

\---------------Seven hours later--------------

"Tell me the plan one more time Damien."

"Do I have too? We already went over this shit like five fucking times!" Damien growls out.

"Yes! If we mess any of this up we're screwed! So we go over the plan one more time!"

After Oz agreed to help Damien rob a bank they had spent the entire afternoon planning for the heist. Oz found an abandoned skyscraper that's fifth floor is inaccessible to anyone that doesn't have teleportation powers. That's where they'll dump the cash when this is all over.

"Fucking fine!" Damien gives in, "First thing we do is hitch a ride in one of the bank's shipment trunks, cause you can hide stuff in shadows even with the teleport shield up. You just can't move between them."

Oz nods along to show that Damien's correct so far.

"Second we wait till one of the fucking supervisors gets to close and snatch him to get his card to the vault and then you'll hide him while I keep watch," Damien's still irked he has to keep watch, "Third, we jump the guy guarding the-"

"We do not 'jump' him," Oz corrects.

"Yeah, yeah, we fucking hide in his shadow till he rotates to guarding the vault," Damien corrects himself, "Fourth, we knock out the guards while we get into the vault."

"And finally?" Oz implores.

"And finally, we turn the teleporter off and we have about thirty minutes to throw all the cash here before we have to go. If the alarms go off we get the hell out of there money or not."

"Exactly, now what do we always do?"

"Stick to the plan," Damien grumbles.

"What was that?"

"WE STICK TO THE FUCKING PLAN!"

"Perfect! Now are you ready?"

"Fucking hell yeah! Finally!"

"Then let's get this thing started," Oz grabs Damien's arm and pulls him through the portal to the side of an empty highway, "About anytime now the truck will go by and we'll be on our way."

Not ten seconds after Oz says that a large eighteen wheeler comes cruising down the empty highway with a cartoon gargoyle on the side.

"Let's go," Oz grabs Damien's arm and pulls again except this time when Oz travels he focuses on staying in the shadow, "There we go."

"Damn," Damien says, floating in the shadow void, "How do you do that all the time. We just traveled twice and I feel sick to my stomach! This shit's like a fucking rollarcoaster!"

"Don't worry you'll get used to it," Oz says lightly, "Time in shadows goes by quicker than outside, so we should be at the bank in around ten minutes."

"Your fucking jumping manipulates time too!" Damien yells into the empty void, "What the fuck can't you do?!"

Oz shrugs, "I probably can't die."

"That doesn't fucking count dipshit!"

An awkward silence falls between the monsters as they float endlessly in the void.

"Umm… so… why exactly does your friend want you to rob a bank?" Oz asks, hoping to start up some conversation, "I'm just realizing that I probably should have asked that before."

"Well, she didn't ask me to specifically 'rob' the bank, but she did say she wished the place would just fucking dissapear," Damien actually decides to explain his reasoning to the noob, "I figured that robbing the place and ruining it's reputation would probably be just as good as lighting it on fire. Plus, there's like millions of dollars in there. If your fucking plan works we could nab like five hundred grand."

"And how's that gonna work?" Oz asks carefully, he wasn't in it for the money, but letting Damien have so much money is like asking for the apocalypse.

"How do you fucking think noob," Damien rolls his eyes, "Fucking 50/50! I might be a adreniline junkie pyromanic, but I'm usually fucking fair. I'm sure you could use the money to get a new apartment or whatever."

"Wait, did you ask me along because you burned my place down?" Oz says stupefied, he didn't take Damien to be one for such gestures.

"If that's what you fucking think," Damien averts his gaze from Oz with a frown and a pink tint.

"Well, thanks for letting me in on the bank heist I guess," Oz thanks Damien, after all that's probably the best apology he's going to get from him.

Another round of silence…

"So...uh...where have you been staying since your apartment went down?" Damien awkwardly tries to make small talk.

"Oh, my friend Amira's apartment…" Oz replies awkwardly.

Oz then feels his connection to the other shadows severe and perks up. Thank god he gets out of this awkward conversation, "We're inside the compound."

"Really? Can we get out of this fucking void place then?" 

"One second," Oz pokes his head out of the shadow underneath the truck and looks around.

As Oz realizes they just passed the checkpoint into the bank, the truck lurches forward with Oz getting pulled along in it's shadow. The moment the truck parks Oz searches the lot for one of the supervisors. When he looks around, Oz scowls at the cameras all around him. Fuck, looks like Oz has got to find a way to transfer Damien to Oz's shadow.

Looks like things are already becoming more complicated. Oz comes out of the shadows at the front of the truck once the driver gets out to unload its contents. Oz tugs Damien out of the truck's shadow and he appears beside Oz.

"What the fuck are you- GAH!" Oz immediately pushes Damien into his shadow and dives behind a box to avoid the workers who come to inspect the strange noise.

Slowly Oz makes his way up to the supervisor box while dodging people. With Damien in his shadow Oz doesn't have to worry about getting seen on the cameras. Creeping up the stairs to the supervisor box Oz hides behind the door as he waits for one of the workers to leave.

"Hey Carl, how long have you been on duty today?" One asks.

With a sigh the other replies, "Six hours."

"I've been on duty for seven hours, you know what that means, right?"

"I have to go get you coffee from the break room."

"Exactly, and this time don't take forever making my Jo."

"Whatever Jeffree," The sound of someone walking towards the door is heard and Oz takes a step back as the supervisor charges down the stairs without seeing Oz.

Before the door closes all the way Oz reaches out and grabs the handle. Staying silent Oz slips into the room and looks for cameras. There's two in either corner of the room, but there's also a blind spot directly in front of a janitor's closet.

Oz notices a cup of water on a desk and picks up a pencil from one of the other places in the room. With a well-timed throw, the pencil knocks the glass of water off the desk and onto the concrete floor where the glass shatters.

"Holy shit!" The supervisor turns around and sees the mess before grumbling about having to clean someone else's mess up because the janitor's busy.

When the supervisor opens the door to the janitor's closet Oz shoves him in the rest of the way and let's Damien pop out of Oz's shadow. 

Damien stumbles backwards and hits the ground as the supervisor regains his wits and turns around to look at Oz in shock and  **FEAR.** Unable to control himself Oz lunges at the supervisor and places a single hand on his shoulder. Oz sucks out every bit of fear the man ever felt, every little drop as the guy goes completely lax and falls to the ground. A dark fog appears up to Oz's elbow and Oz almost falls from the pure unadulterated satisfaction he gets from eating. He's not full, not by a long shot, but this is a good start for the night.

"Why the hell did you pop me in then out of the fucking void noob. I already told you how disconcerting that shit is to do back to back," Damien says holding his head.

"You were in there for five minutes after I pushed you in my shadow," Oz says through bliss, "Time manipulation thing remember."

"Ok, yeah, time manipulation," Damien repeats then glances around the room, "Well, since I was literally in your shadow can you explain why you look like you won the lottery and the guy on the floor looks like he's drugged to high heaven?"

"Doesn't matter," Oz falls on his knees and starts looking through the now white-eyed man's pockets, "We've gotta find his keycard and dispose of his phone and walkie talkie."

"Psh, whatever. I'll ask again later," Damien starts looking through the man's stuff and pulls out a white card with the supervisor's picture on it along with his phone and walkie. Without hesitation Damien smashes everything but the keycard on the ground, "Found it noob, let's go." 

"Are you ready to go back into my shadow this time?" The moment Damien nods Oz grabs his arm and tugs him and he disappears.

Oz moves a couple of boxes in the janitor's closet then shoves the catotonic supervisor underneath the cardboard mountain. With a sigh Oz exits the janitor's closet through the already ajar door and heads back down to the parking lot. Once he finds the guard Damien spoke about in their plans earlier he looks for cameras. Lucky for Oz, the inside of the compounds doesn't have any cameras. They must not want people to be able to hack into them so they rely on their guard rotations and checks instead on the inside. Kinda unconventional and convenient for Oz, but maybe the creator of this universe took pity on him. 

Sneaking up behind the guard Oz pulls Damien out of his shadow then jumps into the guards shadow without the guy noticing.

"Stage 1 is complete, now we've just gotta make it into the vault," Oz says confidently.

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT USING YOUR FUCKING POWERS BACK TO BACK," Damien says looking like he's about to puke, "God that's terrible. You said I'm supposed to get used to that?! Bullshit!"

"I'm sorry about the nausea," Oz says truthfully, "But I'm probably going to have to use it a couple more times on you."

Oz definitely won't say he doesn't take a tiny bit of satisfaction from Damien's pain. Oz might not hold grudges, but this guy did burn down his apartment, so let Oz have this moment.

"Damien, I'm about to pull us out," Oz warns the demon.

"Do I get to threaten people this time," Damien asks with a blood thirsty smile.

Oz thinks of the fear that would create and his stomach growls on point, but he thinks better of letting Damien start a shouting match with such high stakes, "Probably not, but if there's someone who enters the vault they're all yours.

With that, Oz and Damien pop up in front of the vault. The two guards turn around and point their weapons at the strangers, but by then it's too late. Damien charges the first guard and throws his gun to Oz while he lands a solid punch on the other. With the two guards momentarily vulnerable Oz sucks them into his shadow.

"Did you just put them in your shadow?" Damien asks when both of his combatants disappear.

"Yeah, I thought it would be easier to keep them in there while we work in the vault," Oz half-lies.

That was the first reason Oz did what he did, but the second is so much better. Oz could already feel his phobias tormenting the poor minds in his shadow. When it's all done and over the guards will probably recover from this, eventually. Oz is a little bit too desperate to care right now.

Damien pulls the vault card out and slides it into the slot. There's a large green light as the vault door swivels then unlocks. Both Damien and Oz rush into the vault without further prompting and both work together to close it.

"Do you see the machine for the teleport shield?" Damien growls out the question with his back to the vault door. 

"No, keep searching. We only have about forty-five minutes before they do the guard check."

After another five minutes of searching without finding the machine they get desperate.

"Noob, pop the guards out so I can fucking threaten them into telling us where the machine is," Damien turns suddenly to Oz.

"I don't think that would be such a good idea," Oz has been taking a steady stream of fear from the two guards the entire time they've been in his shadow.

"Who fucking cares if it's a good idea, we need them to tell us or we're gonna get busted," When Oz still looks hesitant to listen Damien continues, "Those fuckers are already probably traumatized from being put into a fucking void out of nowhere, they'd be more than willing to give up the info."

"...Fine," Oz decides reluctantly. If Damien already thinks they'll be traumatised then maybe his phobia's work wouldn't be too much of an exaggeration to that notion.

When the two men fall out of the shadows in the fetal position crying like infants Oz regrets his decision.

"Oh…" Oz says dejectedly at Damien's surprised expression, "Umm… I can explain-"

"You just had to fucking do it yourself didn't you," Damien says with a annoyed shout.

"What?" Oz says in confusion.

Instead of answering Damien picks one up by collar of his shirt and yells in his face, "You better fucking tell me where the teleport machine is right now, or I'll have my buddy here put you back where you just came from!"

"NO, NO, NO, NO! IT'S IN THE TILE ON THE BACK WALL! PLEASE, DON'T LET HIM NEAR ME! I PROMISE I WON'T SAY YOU WERE EVEN HERE JUST PLEASE NOT AGAIN!" The man didn't react at all until Damien mentioned putting him back into the void.

Damien punches the guy in the head and he passes out on impact, "You heard him noob! Search the wall!"

Still in shock, Oz does what Damien says. He searches the back wall and sure enough one of the tiles peels back to reveal a tiny lever. Oz switches and nothing feels different, but when he touches a shadow he can feel their connections again.

"Well what are you waiting for noob, let's get this stuff out of here!"

When Oz turns around he sees that Damien is already throwing stack after stack of cash into his portal. Finally coming back to his senses Oz starts knocking the stacks of cash over into their own shadows. This goes for about fifteen minutes before a blaring alarm and red lights start in the vault.

**"** **A security breach has been found on the grounds, everyone follow the procedures under diagram 5.62 In your training. I repeat, a security-"**

"Shit, we gotta get going," Damien turns to Oz and gestures to the still open portal, "Come on noob, let's fucking go."

Oz looks stares at Damien for some sort of deceit, but when it's not there Oz steps through the portal and back to the abandoned building where all their cash is stacked. Damien follows behind Oz and the portal closes quickly after.

"Look at all this cash noob!" Damien shouts with an evil grin, "We'll be on the fucking news with all the crap we took. Nobody will even fucking know! HELL YEAH!"

Oz ignores all the cash and turns to Damien, "How did you know?"

"What are you talking about?" Damien turns to Oz with a perplexed expression.

"When I brought those two guards back out of my shadow you said I just had to do it myself then went along with it like you already knew I could do that," Oz clarifies, "How did you know?!"

"If I answer your question you have to tell me why you did it," Damien grows serious all of a sudden, "You had me in your shadow too and nothing like that happened, it means you did it on purpose."

"...no."

"Then, I won't tell you how I knew you could do that."

Oz considers his options and decides that knowing how Damien figured it out is more important than keeping one secret. Although Oz has to fight himself to get it out.

"I was hungry…" Oz admits quietly.

"What?" Damien takes a step towards Oz and he takes a step back.

"I was-"

"No, I heard what you said. I want to know what it means."

"Y-you first," Oz's resolve is fading quickly.

"The woods with the spider cult," Damien admits with a sigh, "After I left you I circled back around to see what happened and found the cultists acting the same way as those two guards, except… they were worse."

"I eat fear," Oz said it. Oz let out the second most guarded secret he's ever kept to someone he barely knows, and it felt good, "I don't eat normal food, but I do live off of fear. The first guy in the closet, I sucked it out of him, and the two guards in the vault, I-I let my phobias terrorize them while we were completing the next part of our plan, because I haven't eaten since you burned my apartment down."

"That's why you agreed to help me, you were fucking desperate," Damien snaps his fingers, "Figures a noob like you would rob a bank for such a wimpy reason."

"Y-You're just fine with it," Oz was shocked. All those years of being afraid of what people would think of his eating habits and this is what happens?!

"Of fucking course, I never told you this but my dads are the fucking kings of Hell, or the 8th circle anyways," Damien says while throwing his share of money through a portal back to his room, "You've got some messed up shit going on, but I've seen the fucking fields of the damned. You can't top that noob."

"Your dads are the kings of Hell?" Oz says in shock.

"Of course that would be what you take away from that. Yeah, they fucking are," Damien throws the last stack of his cash into the portal then turns to Oz, "Now if you don't mind, we just robbed a bank so I'd like to go home and hide this cash from my parents. All the rest of the money is yours by the way. Bye noob."

And with that, Damien left Oz with two hundred fifty thousand dollars and an existential crisis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next few chapters, fluff. FLUFF and much more FLUFF.


	9. Housewarming Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After buying his new house, Oz invites his friends over to have a great time together.

"Come on in guys!" Oz welcomes his friends in cheerfully.

After the bank robbery, Oz spent the rest of his week filling out paperwork for buying himself a dream home. With the money Oz got from the ordeal he paid for the home along with all the furniture that needed to be put in it. 

Surprisingly, Oz still had about fifty thousand left after buying all that, and being the responsible person Oz is, he spent the rest of the money on putting extra fire detterrants around his new home. Fire extinguishers, extra sprinklers, all the flame retardant blankets and pillows a person could want, and even a fast dial phone to the fire department. With Damien already expressing his interest in seeing Oz's new place through text, Oz knew he will have to be prepared.

That was a new development too. After the bank robbery, Damien continuously texts Oz about the randomest shit. From asking how long Oz thinks it would take for the Amazon forest to burn, to just sending random photos of the weirdest things Damien can find in Hell at 3:00 a.m. For example, Oz didn't need to know there's an entire field in Hell dedicated to those who shoplifted tortilla chips. Like, what in Hell… literally.

"~Oooooh do we get a special friends' tour," Vicky cheerfully begs while hanging onto Oz's arm, "I want a tour Oz!"

"Of course Vick," Oz says amusedly, "It's not that large of a house, but let me show you around. You can just set your bags by the door for later."

After Oz told Amira that his new place was supposed to be a surprise she immediately let it out about how cool Oz's new _house_ was going to be. The amount of texts Oz got about that from Vicky and Brian the next few days was almost headache inducing. After reassuring the both of them that Oz was not, in fact, bankrupt they switched tunes and insisted on a house warming sleepover. Amira even said something about summoning the dead previous owner with necromancy, to which Brian shut down saying it was really impolite to wake someone up from the afterlife. Nobody questioned if that was from experience or not.

"To the left is the kitchen," Oz leads his friends around the house showing them room after room, "The first two doors on the right of this hallway are the guest rooms, the last one is the bathroom. My room is on the right."

Ignoring Oz completely Brian walks over to the set of fire extinguishers next to a table in the hall, "You're sure prepared for another fire, aren't you?"

"Yeah, this place is pretty fireproof," Amira says looking at the amount of sprinklers on the ceiling.

"The whole place kinda looks like a bunker too!" Vicky says while rushing around looking at Oz's newly bought decor, "but in like, a good kinda way."

"W-well, I just wanted to take precautions," Oz said shyly at his friends' questioning.

"If a fire ever starts in this place it will last about five seconds with this set-up," Brian says with a chuckle, "No more of your stuff is getting burnt, right Oz?"

"Y-yeah," Oz is relieved that his friends like his new home so far.

The last few days he's been in an emotional mess with the stress of a new place, his friends coming over to see it, the G.F.E.B's robbery all over the news, and the almost life changing reception of Oz's greatest secret from Damien. Although after a while Oz realized Damien was just the outlier in Oz's original fears. After all, Damien said Oz's freakiness didn't affect him because he's already seen Hell. Oz's friends on the other hand had not, so it was only correct to assume they wouldn't react the same way as him.

"Continuing the tour, the last room in the house is this way," Oz nervously fiddles with his hands as Anthophibia tries to cheer him up by ruffling Oz's hair.

As they walk back down the hallway all three friends pick up on Oz's anxiousness and look at each other in a silent conversation. They were going to get Oz to relax tonight whether he wants to or not.

"This is the living room," Oz says with a ta-da gesture around the room.

"Wowee!" Vicky says excitedly while Brian and Amira stare speechlessly.

"Umm… Amira? Brian? D-do you not like it?" Oz says, slowly becoming less and less confident.

When decorating Oz usually goes for a very minimalistic approach to things. For him, only having stuff that serves its purpose is better than having stuff that only clutters a room needlessly, but Oz took a different approach to the living room. Knowing his friends would be there most of the time when they come over, Oz decided to decorate it more to their tastes.

A large circular couch wrapped around a long glass coffee table that had a few cactus plants on it. On either end of the couch multicolor pillows of different shapes and sizes are present. A large memory foam cocoon bean bag chair sets on the opposite side of said couch. On the wall is a mounted large screen TV that sits above a shelf filled with board games.

"I'm not even going to ask how you did this," Amira says suddenly then runs across the living room and flops onto the giant beanbag chair, "Oz! I'm living with you now!"

Oz stares after Amira in surprise as Brian continues to stare blankly around the room then turns to Oz, "How many game systems do you think I can hook up to that T.V?"

"Uh...what? I don't know probably three? I think that's how many plugs it has," Oz answers in confusion.

"Hmm… I believe I'm also moving in," Brian says deadpan as he walks back towards the front door.

"Wait?! Where are you going?!" Oz turns to follow Brian when Vicky distracts him.

"The only thing this place is missing is a pool!" Vicky shouts as she runs around the room looking at everything.

"Speak for yourself Vicky!" The muffled voice of Amira can be heard from where she's laying face down in the beanbag, "A pool would be an insult to this."

"Hey Oz, where's the remote?" Vicky yells from on top of the couch.

"I-it's on the coffee table," Oz answers as he slowly walks towards the end of the couch to sit down.

"Cool, where's Brian so we can vote on what to watch!" Vicky says as she snatches the remote and plots down on the couch next to Oz.

Before Oz can relay the story of how Brian ran off to Vicky, Brian rushes back into the room carrying everyone's bags. Oz stands up to ask him what he's doing when Brian immediately gets three different game consoles out of his bag and starts hooking them up to the flat screen.

"Or," Vicky starts giggling at Brian, "We can vote on what game to play first and order pizza."

A muffled 'yeah' comes from Amira who's still submerged in the beanbag and Brian spares a quick glance in Vicky's direction and nods once.

"Ok, pizza time!" Vicky shouts as Oz vividly remembers why he loves his friends so much.

Vicky dials a number in on her phone and just as Brian finishes hooking up the games, she glances around the room, "What pizza toppings do we want?"

If the color could drain from Oz's face it would. Amira tenses up on the bean bag chair and lifts up her head. Brian slowly turns around and makes eye contact with both Vicky and Amira as the pizza war commences.

Three minor bruises and a fire extinguisher later the half pepperoni olive pizza and breadsticks arrived at Oz's apartment. 

Now the four friends are competing in Mario party while eating. As Oz grabs a piece of pizza to hand to his phobias, Vicky screws Brian over in-game, and as he angrily shoves a breadstick in his mouth, Amira laughs. Once the game is over Vicky has twice the amount of stars as everyone else and is declared the winner.

"How about a game of monopoly next," Amira suggests.

"Hell no," Brian groans with begging nature.

"Please never again," Oz agrees.

"You just want to play because you know you'll win," Vicky says while shaking her head.

"You guys are no fun!" Amira pouts as she falls backwards into the bean bag.

"We almost destroyed Brian's apartment the last time we played Monopoly," Oz reminds her, "Vicky got so angry when she had to go to jail that she let out a charge of electricity that fried the circuits in the lights. We had to play the rest of the game with candles, which if I remind you, burned one of Brian's throw pillows."

"Whatever," Amira says with an eye roll.

"Well what else can we do," Brian asks for suggestions, "Cause for once in my life, I don't think I can play anymore video games right now."

"Hey, I know!" Vicky says, bouncing a little as she speaks, "Are you still into all those retro horror films Oz?"

"Um…yeah," Oz says after a moment.

Just like people watch videos of making food, Oz watches horror movies. A good horror movie makes Oz hungry, a bad one makes him less so, and really outlandish ones leave him with ideas for the future. Some of Oz's favorites are the Shining, the Thing, and a really old movie called Tourist Trap. Oz has brought up his liking of those types of movies, but it never really came up until now. 

"Did you buy any when you moved in!?" Vicky asks excitedly, "We can have a movie marathon!"

"Actually," Oz stands up and starts walking out of the room, "I keep all the movies on my tablet. It didn't burn in the fire, so I can just hook it up to the TV."

"Perfect! Can you go get it?!" Vicky shouts, seemingly oblivious to Oz already heading in that direction.

"Sure thing…" Oz realizes neither Amira nor Brian have been able to get a word in, "That is if e-everyone wants too?"

"You know I'm in for watching some corny old movies," Amira says with a chuckle.

"I'm along for the ride no matter what," Brian deadpans.

"O-ok, be right back," Oz says as he walks down the hall and enters his room.

Once inside Oz crouches down and pulls his black duffel bag out from under the bed. He unzips the bag and moves some of the few items inside around before he grabs his tablet and pushes it back under the bed. Oz starts heading when he turns back around and grabs some extra blankets for in the living room. Knowing his friends, they'll probably watch movies until they pass out and these will be useful later.

When Oz comes back, he finds Amira and Brian haven't moved an inch and Vicky, in the time Oz was gone, has already put on a pair of pastel blue pajamas with tiny lightning bolts on it.

Oz walks past the couch unplugs one of the game systems from his TV and uses the correct cord to hook his tablet up.

"What do you want to watch first," Oz asks.

"The most romantic!" Vicky shouts.

"The most gorey!" Amira shouts at the same time.

They both glance at each other and look about ready to throw down. Brian is about to diffuse the situation, but Oz stops it first.

"There's a korean film where the main protagonist is in love with a serial killer that mangles the bodies of his victims with ropes before killing them, and she doesn't know about it," Oz says while searching up the movie on his tablet, "How about that?"

"Hell yeah!"

"~That's so scandalous!"

From the couch Brian just gives Oz a thumbs up. Oz loads the movie up and immediately the TV starts to show a young human highschool girl walking down the street. Oz takes the blankets he got and throws one to each of his friends then turns out the lights as Vicky starts talking.

"There's only one thing that would make this better."

"What?" Oz asks, tilting his head.

"Popcorn!" Vicky says with a smile.

"Vicky, Oz doesn't even need to eat. Why would he have popcorn?" Amira says from the bean bag.

"No it's fine, I can just go grab some from Brian's place," Oz says while getting up.

"Why do you always take food from my apartment," Brian sighs in exasperation.

"Because you don't need to eat, but you choose to," Oz explains, "It's a hobby for you, so you buy the high quality snacks."

"Oh, sure, that's why you took my bread two weeks ago right," Brian says as he slowly slouches further down on the couch.

"Oz stole your bread?" Vicky says with a snort.

"Two pieces of bread, an egg, and my toaster. In the middle of the night," Brian further explains.

As his friends start to converse about things Oz has stolen from Brian's kitchen, Oz pops through a shadow and makes some popcorn at Brian's apartment. Once he makes two large bowls he pops back to his house to see everyone paying rapt attention to the movie. 

Without disrupting the scene Oz walks around the back of the couch and hands Vicky a bowl to share with Brian. Oz then walks to the bean bag chair and places a hand on Amira's shoulder.

"HOLY FUCKING-" Without turning around all the way, Amira jack slaps Oz after being startled, "OH SHIT OZ"

Vicky and Brian stare at Oz and Amira in shock as Oz still is holding the popcorn in one hand.

"Oh god Oz. I'm so fucking sorry," Amira starts to apologize profusely, "We just passed that one bit in the movie where the girl goes in the closet and I-"

"Pffft hahahaha," Oz doubles over shaking as he mentally broadcasts his laughter around the room, "Y-you should have seen your face."

Amira stares at Oz in shock as both Brian and Vicky join in the laughter. After looking at her two other friends in betrayal, Amira's serious face cracks and she starts chuckling. Nobody noticed the black fog that came from Amira's shoulder, not even Oz.

Once they all settle down, they make it two movies before Brian falls asleep, four movies before Amira falls asleep, and seven before Vicky practically passes out. As another movie ends Oz stares at his friends with a soft expression. What did somebody like Oz ever do to get such great friends?

Oz's phone suddenly vibrates knocking him from his internal reverie. He pulls it out already knowing there's only one person who would text Oz so late. When he pulls his texts up, there's a picture of a three headed dog dyed pink with the word's 'Hell sucks' shaved into its fur.

**Damien LaVey:** u in to go fucking hunt some pranksters down and torture them for hurting Cerberus

Oz's phobias who were eating the leftover popcorn his friends didn't devour, take one look at the photo sent and start laughing. Oz won't say he didn't chuckle a little in his head too.

**FUCKINGNOOB:** Sorry, I'm a bit busy.

Oz lifts his phone up in the air and takes a selfie from the couch with all his sleeping friends in the background. Of course, to Damien it'll just look like Oz just took the picture standing up, but the point will get across anyways.

**FUCKINGNOOB:** If we can still hunt them down tomorrow, sure.

For a bit there's no response. Just as Oz was about to put his phone away and start another movie a reply finally comes in.

**Damien LaVay:** no it's fine.

Oz takes a moment to read the text and decides it's a little bit mute for how Damien usually responds, but just as Oz is about to ask what's wrong his phone alerts him Damien is offline.

With a shrug, Oz selects the next movie and turns his phone off while bringing the almost empty bowl of popcorn closer to his phobias. That's a problem for another day.

\----------------------Extra------------------

  
  


Damien growls at his phone before he leaves the group of teenage monsters to try and get out of the lava pool he just pushed them in. That's what they get for messing with Cerberus.

Damien would usually just break one or two of their arms or something, but for some reason he was in a foul mood. Maybe it was because it's been a little less interesting in Hell lately or maybe it was because this self-acclaimed 'Slayer' keeps interrupting every trip to the city he has by trying to throw holy water on him. Damien knows it's not really either but he refuses to look at the facts. Neither of those things bothered him a couple hours earlier, well didn't bother him much.

Now however, Damien's considering pulling the guy with the pink hair dye out of the lava to beat his frustrations into. No matter what, Damien isn't going to think about the fact that he got upset after the stupid noob sent him a picture of him and his friends having a sleepover or some shit in his new apartment.

Damien didn't even think the noob had friends. Of course he had mentioned them a couple of times, but Damien just thought he was making them up or some shit. Damien refuses to acknowledge the fact that they got invited to the noob's new place before him. Yeah, he absolutly couldn't care fucking less. 

Damien could just ask to go to one of his other friends' houses. Well, not Polly, or Liam, or Vera- ok so he can't just fucking go to someone else's house!

It doesn't matter anyways, it's not like he's going to invite the noob down to hell to see his place either. The noob isn't cool enough for that. Plus, Damien's dads would embarrass him. The fearling probably won't like Damien's room, and overall Hell just isn't the best place for a fucking sleepover. So no dice there.

Damien absolutely would kill anyone that even insinuates that he spent the entire walk back to the castle sulking about not getting to see the noob's new apartment, because why would he. Damien's the fucking prince of Hell and the noob's just some fucking lower level demon fearling. He shouldn't be fucking jealous of the three monsters that got to see his place first, and Damien wasn't. 

No matter what anyone says, Damien definitely did not think about the photo all night. He didnt even think about it once...


	10. Malls, Burns, and the Twilight Zone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oz and his friends decide to go to the mall, Damien has a confrontation with Slayer, and Oz gets a new nickname and a TV buddy.

"Guys! Come get breakfast!" Oz projects from his kitchen.

There's two loud bang sounds from the living room before the sound of a fast set of feet comes toward the kitchen. Of course Amira, having already known about Oz's cooking habits, is the one who ran to the kitchen to get there first.

"What did you make?" Amira says hastily as she scans the kitchen for food.

"Ummm… just eggs and bacon," Oz says while eyeing Amira's almost territorial form warily as he sets her plate on the kitchen table.

"Ah, hell yeah!" Amira immediately sits down and starts digging in. Then through bites she tries to tell Oz something, "Bwy the way, Fvic and Brnn arn't used to yur wake up calls, so be pwepared."

Before Oz can try and decipher the Amira talk both Brian and Vicky come into the kitchen less than happy. Oz tilts his head as if to ask what's wrong and that's when the monsters' gazes lock onto Oz. 

"Why, would you wake us up," Brian pauses for dramatic effect, "By telepathically screaming into our heads?"

"Umm…" Oz practically sweat drops under their glares, "I-"

"You startled us so much that we both fell off the couch," Vicky adds.

Oz looks between the two of them and then at Amira who is too happy eating to care about the world. Coming to a conclusion, Oz practically throws Vicky and Brian's plates on the table before retreating to the far corner of the kitchen that is farthest away from them.

"I woke you up so you could eat this breakfast Imadeyoubcausewe'refriends," Oz quickly gets out.

"You making breakfast is not enough of an excuse Oz," Vicky says with a little huff.

Amira pauses her inhalation of food to grab Vicky's arm and practically hisses, "Yes it is Vicky! Yes it is! Sit down and eat!"

"Amira, you'll eat anything," Brian says with a sigh as he finally sits down at the table, "Just please wake us up normally next time, ok Oz."

With Vicky still glaring at Oz, he starts nodding his head frantically along with a couple of his phobias. 

"Got it," Oz says quickly, "Wake people up slowly, not with yelling into their brain."

Seemingly satisfied, Vicky sits down at the table and starts to eat. The first bite that makes it into both Brian and Vicky's mouths might as well be the last. Both their eyes light up as they start shoveling the food into their mouth just like Amira. Brian takes it a little slower than the two girls, but that's mostly because he's missing half a jaw and has to chew with one side of his mouth.

Amira finishes first and looks to Oz, "Looks like you have two more followers in your food cult Oz. Right guys?"

Already being dead to the world both monsters nod rapidly while stuffing more food into their mouths.

"What- no!" Oz says, shaking his head at his three friends, "They don't even know what they're agreeing to right now."

"That's the point! You're cooking is just that fucking good Oz!"

"I c-can't even eat it myself, how can it be-" 

Amira cuts Oz off by standing up and grabbing his shoulders. (while avoiding the phobias there)

"It's just that fucking good," Amira repeats.

"Ok! Alright! I believe you! I believe you Amira!" Oz says panicked at her sudden insistence.

"Good," Amira immediately calms down then turns to Vicky and Brian who are now staring down at their empty plates shocked.

"Oz, can I pay you to make breakfast for me from now on," Vicky says, turning to Oz with an exhilarated expression, "You make the absolute best bacon and eggs that have ever existed."

"I wouldn't say that," Brian says and both girls stare at him in shock, "But I would say it's the best I've ever eaten."

Oz desperately fights the oncoming blush and heat in his face as he walks up to the table and grabs the empty plates from his friends' breakfast. 

"Wait, did you steal this stuff from my apartment too," Brian says suddenly.

"No," Oz says as he starts washing the dishes to avoid looking at his friends, "After you all went to sleep I took a quick trip to the 24-hour grocery mart to get stuff to make you all breakfast."

"Did you even sleep last night Oz," Vicky asks, very concerned.

"No?" Oz says turning back to his friends with his eyebrows creases, "I don't have to, so I usually don't. I've never actually tried, although in theory I guess I could."

"Wait," Brian jumps in, "You don't sleep?"

"No," Oz says looking between all of his friends, "I-I thought you guys knew that? Didn't I tell you when I said I didn't eat?"

"No?!" Both Vicky and Brian exclaim.

"I knew it!" Amira cheered, "That's why everytime I would get up to get a drink in the middle of the night you would still be awake! I thought I was going crazy!"

"I really didn't tell you guys?" Oz says trying to track down the memory he thought he had.

Brian sighs in exasperation, "Do you have anything else you'd like to tell us about yourself Oz. Anything that might be important in the future."

"No." Yes.

"Well then, now that the house warming sleepover is over," Vicky says slowly turning to Oz, "Can you drop me off at the mall? Well, after I change out of my pajamas."

Brian suddenly perks up, "You're planning on going to the mall today?"

"Yeah, there's this new store that opened up a few days ago that I wanted to check out," Vicky replies nonchalantly.

"I was planning to go to a music shop there that I recently read good reviews on," Brian tells Vicky, "Maybe we should go together."

"Well, if you two are going I don't want to be left out," Amira states then bluntly says, "I'm coming with you."

"Yes!" Vicky says happily, "A housewarming party turned into a mall adventure. You want to come too Oz?!"

"Umm..." 

Oz wasn't planning on going out today, but how can he say no to Vicky when she's all hyped like this?!

"Y-yeah, I'd be happy to go with you guys!"

"Yeah! Best friend adventure!" Vicky shouts then looks down at her pastel blue pajamas, "Oz! What time is it?!"

Oz takes a moment to look at the watch on his wrist, "Umm… it's around eight thirty."

"Ok, let me go change then we can leave!" Vicky says excitedly.

"Wait a minute!" Amira shouts, "You've gotta let me get ready too. I slept in my normal clothes, and I've got a bed head! Let me get changed before we go!"

"Umm… the house only has one bathroom…" Oz points down the hall.

Both girls tense then slowly look at each other, before suddenly sprinting down the hall squabbling about who should be allowed in first. Oz watches the girls go with a wince. If they fight all the way to the bathroom Oz will probably have a lot to clean up later.

After the arguing gets out of hearing range Oz turns to Brian, "So, do you need to get ready or anything?"

"What's the point in getting ready when I'll just look like the walking dead anyways?" Brian states with a chuckle.

When Oz processes what Brian says he turns to him for confirmation, "Was that a-"

"Yes, it was a pun Oz."

"Alright then."

\---------One bathroom fight later---------

"Amira do you want to come with me or Brian?" Vicky asks as she bounces around the other three monsters in the middle of the mall after Oz transported them there.

"You didn't even tell me what this 'new' store even has so obviously-" Both Oz and Brian roll their eyes at Amira's dramatics, "I have to find out what is in that store."

"Of course you do…" Oz says lightly.

"Hey, what's that supposed to-" Before Amira can finish her sentence Vicky grabs her arm and starts to drag her away.

"Come on! I want to get there before all the good stuff is gone!" Vicky yells, gaining the attention of a couple mall goers.

"What the hell does that even mean?!"

Instead of answering Vicky just starts giggling in a very foreboding way.

"Wait! Nevermind, I think I'll just go with Brian! Yeah that sounds better!" Amira says backing away from Vicky.

"~Too late! ~No backsies Amira!" Vicky grabs Amira's arm and starts dragging her across the mall while Amira silently begs for help from her other two friends.

"So we're just going to ignore that right?" Brian asks without turning to Oz.

"Absolutely," Oz says and turns away from the direction Vicky and Amira went, "I'm planning on going to that comic store we walked past on the way here alright?"

"Sure, are we going to meet back up later or…?" Brian asks as Oz and him start walking in the direction of both of their stores.

"The girls should be down around twelve right?" Oz looks to Brian questioningly.

"Eh, in theory."

"Then let's meet there in the food court as long as nothing comes up," Oz suggests, "I can text the girls what we're planning in the group chat."

"As long as something doesn't come up?" Brian asks with an eyebrow raised.

"In the time I've known Vicky she's gotten us banned from six establishments and," Oz says monotone, "Amira's gotten us banned from seven. We let them run off together, I'm just being cautious."

"Fair, fair," Brian says as they continue, "I've got the texting though, alright? You just go do whatever you want, I know we kinda hijacked your day."

"What?! No. I like coming to do stuff with you guys," Oz says quickly. Sure Oz wasn't particularly planning on going to the mall anytime soon, but his friends wanted him to so he would.

"I know Oz, but still-" Brian stops and turns to his friend, "If you want to leave the mall early or anything you don't have to stay. Don't just do whatever we do Oz."

Oz is getting increasingly confused by this interaction, "Where is this coming from?"

"Just want to make sure you have a good time too Oz," Brian says neutrally, "I know you'll pretty much do anything Vicky and Amira ask."

"Well, yeah," Oz says plainly, "They are my friends."

"That's not what I-" Brian sighs then gives up, "Go have fun Oz."

"Ok?" Oz splits from Brian and heads towards the comic store he saw on the way in, only sparing a confused glance over his shoulder.

Oz didn't know what Brian was on about, but he feels bad for not understanding. Whatever he wanted Oz to know seemed important to him. 

Oz enters the comic store deep in thought and for the next few hours Oz contemplates Brian's words while looking through various comics. Around eleven Oz heads to the food court. Oz just likes to be early, sue him.

With an hour to kill before any of his friends show up Oz sits next to a fountain and waits. Nobody ever said he was the most creative person. After about ten minutes, Oz hears some kind of commotion start up at the other end of the mall. 

Now Oz is the kind of person that usually sees conflict and runs away. That's why when the crowd starts increasing in size and shouting is heard, Oz decides to find a different place to sit and wait. Standing up, Oz starts starts to walk towards Boba shop far away from the current situation, or that was what he was doing until a bout of flames is seen over the crowd and a very familiar voice shouts-

"FUCKING BITCH!"

And with that Oz is making his way across the good court to save whatever poor soul pissed Damien off. When Oz gets to the huge crowd he shadow jumps to the front and observes the current situation before intervening.

A girl with a red cape and very assassin-esk clothes is standing off against the very familiar form of Damien LaVey. The assassin girl lunges forward with a dagger and Damien dodges out of the way while sending a bout of flames in return from his hands. Most of the crowd flinches back at this point when the scorching heat nears them, but Oz stays exactly in place. Damien should be able to handle this himself, but Oz will wait and see. This wouldn't be the first time he's had to bail a friend out of a fight.

Yeah, Oz considers Damien a friend. After telling him Oz's biggest secret it was either that or mortal enemy, and the demon's constant texting just barely solidified him on the friend side. 

After the short exchange of blows, the assassin girl throws back her hood to reveal light periwinkle hair, dark skin, and bright green eyes.

"Demon from Hell! You have no business in our world and you cause chaos and fraternize with-" 

"Who the fuck even are you?!" Damien snarls with fire balls in both of his hands, "And why the hell do you have to fucking follow me wherever I go?! Are you some type of weird fucking stalker?!"

"What?! No!" The girl seems flustered a moment before, "I've already told you demon, I am Slayer. The person who will kill all monster scum who dare trespass where they should not!"

A couple of monsters in the crowd boo and Oz resists the urge to roll his eyes. What did Damien even do to get this 'Slayer' person's attention?

"What the fuck did I ever do to you bitch!? Damien asks while throwing a fireball at Slayer with her barely dodging, "You keep fucking showing up!"

"You fraternize with ancient vampires that wish to take over the world!" The slayer says while charging forward to try and strike, "You must be stopped!"

Damien dodges Slayer's attacks then seems to be thinking about something before his eyes light up, "You fucking came after me because I hung out with Liam! That's it! I've fucking done way worse, and that's what your so pissed about?!"

Oz facepalms as Damien just admits to doing multiple crimes worse than what Slayer thought. 

"Of course such a foul creature such as yourself would admit to such crimes with pride! I will-" 

Damien cuts Slayer off as he sends a couple more fireballs her way before finally whipping out his usual dagger and attempting to slash at her, "Look bitch, today isn't a good day for me. So you've got about ten fucking seconds to walk away before I lacerate your fucking chest!"

Instead of walking away, Slayer grabs a bottle from her waist and throws it at Damien. Damien jumps away from the bottle as it breaks on the ground, but some of the contents still hit his legs with a sizzling sound.

"Beware demon!" Slayer yells at Damien with another two bottles in her hand, "For this is the holiest of waters!"

Damien's eyes widen and a vicous snarl reaches his lips, "You tried to fucking kill me?! Well then, let me return the fucking favor!"

At this point, Oz is getting very nervous. Slayer throws bottle after bottle of the liquid at Damien as he barely dodges and attempts to fry Slayer in turn with fire. After a few more minutes of this exchange, Damien has small burns all over his arms from tiny drops of holy water that splattered him and Slayer had multiple burns and singed clothes from Damien's fire. Oz watches as Slayer pulls one last bottle out of nowhere and throws it at Damien who actually seems out of breath. At this point the crowd has completely dispersed away from the chaos. The only thing keeping the two from noticing Oz is themselves. 

Damien goes to dodge the oncoming bottle, but stumbles on a piece of broken bottle and barely moves from his spot. Seeing the deadly liquid heading for Damien's chest, Oz steps in. Lucky for both of them the entire area Damien and Slayer were fighting in is shrouded in shadows from the upper floors of the mall, so Oz can quickly appear right in front of the bottle's course and snatch it mid-air.

Both earlier combatants of the fight stare at Oz in shock. Slayer regains her composure first.

"Hey! You blocked my throw! What kind of troublesome NPC are you?!" Slayer yells more like a child unlike her earlier maturity in speech.

"Uhh- My name is Oz. It's nice to meet you Miss Slayer, but I have to ask you to not try and kill my friend," Oz says awkwardly as he sets the holy water on the ground.

"So you're the demon's ally?" Slayer asks with a tilt of her head.

"If that's what you consider being friends means… then yes?" Oz's statement sounds more like a question

Slayer's eyes seem to turn analytic as she scrutinizes Oz.

"Fucking noob?!" Damien yells from behind Oz.

"Hey Damien! Um- I'm sorry for interrupting whatever-" Oz gestures around at the burning stores in the mall and then all the shattered glass on the ground, "-this is, but I'm just gonna grab you if you don't mind-"

"An unknown player character won't keep me from completing my quest," Slayer lunges forward with her blade to slash Oz, but Oz simply grabs it with his hand and plucks the weapon from her grip.

"As I was saying," Oz completely ignores the look of shock from Slayer, "I'm just gonna grab Damien and go."

Oz immediately drops the blade and steps backwards quickly knocking Damien into his shadow in the process.

"What kind of class skill is that?!" Slayer says shocked.

"As I said, it was nice to meet you Ma'am. Hope we meet under… maybe… better circumstances next time," Oz says this as he slowly sinks into his own shadow, "Goodbye!"

And just like that, Oz is gone from the mall and back in the living room of his new house, sitting on his couch next to Damien.

"That was not how I planned my day going," Oz says suddenly as he whips out his phone to text Brian that he had to leave the mall for something important.

"What the hell, even, just happened?!" Damien says slowly turning to Oz.

"I saved you from being turned into a demon puddle," Oz states without looking at Damien, "Great, now my friends know I left the mall. Next-" 

Oz looks up to Damien only to freeze in shock, what had looked like tiny first degree burns from afar were actually splotchy red blisters. The only reason Oz hadn't already noticed them was because of Damien's already natural red skin.

"Noob? What're you fucking staring at?!" Damien wouldn't say it, but the way the noob seemed to be scanning every part of him reminded Damien of the way his fathers looked at sinners.

Without responding, Oz disappears into a shadow and reappears as Amira's apartment, where Oz raids all her burn creams for when she accidentally burns people. Oz then jumps back to his house to find Damien looking around the living room, when he spots Oz he growls.

"Why the fuck would you just drop me off here and then just leave?!" Damien says with an overly exaggerated gesture, "And what do you have?"

"I'll answer later. Sit down on the couch Damien," When Damien looks ready to protest Oz repeats himself, " **Sit down on the couch.** "

Thinking better of arguing, Damien walks over to the couch and sits down. The moment he does, Oz uncaps the different creams and starts treating the burns from the holy water on Damien's arms and legs.

"What the- Hey!" Damien growls as Oz starts touching his different burns, "What are you doing?!"

"I'm putting cream on your burns. You want them to get better, right?" Oz says while continuing.

"Well, of course I fucking do, but I can do that my fucking self!" Damien says as Oz continues rubbing cream into his blistered skin.

Oz suddenly looks up at Damien with raised eyebrow, "How can I be sure you'll use it right?"

"I'm not a fucking idiot I can-"

"Have you ever had to treat a burn before?" Oz cuts Damien off.

"No, I'm fucking fire proof! It's not like you've ever had to treat one either though," Damien gestures at Oz's black matter body.

"That's where you're wrong Damien," Oz says while continuing to take care of Damien's injuries, "I've had to help treat burns before. When you have a friend with fiery hair accidents happen."

"What fucking ever," Damien says looking away, "Just hurry up. You've already kidnapped me so I won't stop you from getting rid of these damn blisters."

"I did not kidnap you."

"Then what do you call this?"

"Bailing a friend out of a fight they can't win," Oz states nonchalantly.

"WHAT?! I COULD HAVE FUCKING BEAT THAT SLAYER GIRL! I DIDN'T NEED YOUR FUCKING HELP!" Damien starts yelling indignantly to Oz's dismay.

"I'm sure you probably could have," Oz says tuning out the loud yelling, "But it wouldn't have been in one piece."

"You know what noob?!" Damien says suddenly, "I don't have to deal with this! I'm fucking leaving."

Damien reaches to grab his phone and call a portal, but his phone is gone. When Damien looks back up the noob has it in his hand.

"Looking for this," Oz says cheekily, "You don't get it back till the cream dries."

"And how long will that take?!" Damien grumbles out with rage making his eye twitch.

"With your burns I'm going to need to apply a second layer, so around seven hours. Oh, and if you try to leave without waiting," Oz turns to make eye contact with Damien, "I will text your fathers that you're hurt and then drag you back here myself."

Damien gulps audibly at the thought of his fathers getting involved then hiding his dismay growls, "Fucking fine, but you better have something for me to do if you plan on keeping my phone hostage!"

"Absolutely," Oz grabs the remote to the TV and tosses it to Damien, "Watch regular TV or the movies and shows that it has from my tablet."

"So I just have to sit here and watch TV?! That's so fucking lame!" Damien growls from the couch.

"Too bad," Oz says, shaking his head then adds, "However, I'm sure you'll find something to watch."

"And what are you going to do!" Damien shouts at Oz as he stands up and starts to exit the room.

"I figure you were at the mall to eat or something since it's around twelve right now," Oz says while walking to the door, "So I was going to make something. Do you want anything in particular?"

"Doesn't matter as long as it's burnt to a crisp," Damien growls out after the nerd.

Oz turns back around suddenly and parrots what Damien said, "Burnt… to a crisp?"

"Did I fucking stutter?!" Damien turns and glares at Oz.

"Nope, I guess burned food it is," Oz says while muttering to himself about how people and food are the most confusing things ever.

Once the noob leaves the room Damien looks at his surroundings.

"Guess the noob has some fucking style," Damien tsks under his breath.

This place is actually rather fancy for what he thought the noob would like. Something about his last apartment made Damiem think he was more of the minimalist type. Guess the noob was actually just poor. 

Damien moves to get comfortable on the couch and winces as he irritates his burns. The noob might be annoying as hell, but he did say he knows how to treat a burn. Damien turns the TV on and curiously surfs through channels until he eventually connects to the stuff on the tablet.

\-----------Around three hours later---------

After spending two hours trying to understand the concept of burning a perfectly good meal Oz practically turns a steak to ashes. When Oz brings it out, he watches as Damien just inhales the food.

"H-how did you eat it so fast?!" Oz asks, barely suppressing awe. If Amira, Vicky, and Brian were here they'd barely have been able to eat a third of it so fast.

"Fucking fire demons have a pit of fire in their gut instead of a stomach noob," Damien says dryly, "Thought you would fucking know something like that."

"No? It's pretty cool though," Oz says, ignorant to how quickly Damien looks away from him after he compliments him, "What are you watching?"

"I don't fucking know. It's some old black and white TV show that's on your tablet," Damien says with grunt.

Oz looks up at the TV to see that Damien is actually watching the Twilight Zone. It's one of the few shows Oz owns that isn't really a horror movie. The Twilight Zone is an 156 episode series where each episode contains its own mysterious plot. From a child that can control the universe from a time-stopping watch that breaks, every episode has a twist or a cliffhanger. 

"That's a good show. What episode are you on?"

"I'm on episode ten," Damien replies, "The one called Judgment Day, I skipped some of the stupid ones."

"Oh, the one with the boat right?" Oz says with a smile already knowing how it ends.

"You fucking memorize them all nerd?" Damien asks more as a question then a jab.

"No, but I kinda liked this one," Oz says before he turns around to walk back into the kitchen.

"Hey noob," Damien calls before Oz gets very far, "You wanna watch it with me?"

Oz turns back to the couch in surprise, "Do you really want me to watch it with you?"

"Don't fucking overthink this. It was just a question," Damien says with his eyes suspiciously glued to the TV screen

"Alright then, sure," Oz sits down on the couch about two feet away from Damien.

One episode turns into two, three into four, on and on until Damien and Oz are barely inches apart.

"Wait, how the hell is that- did they- so it-" Damien tries to express his confusion, but can't get a proper sentence out.

"I know, I know," Oz says, "It's very surprising."

"THEY WEREN'T ON EARTH!" Damien exclaims loudly, "but what about the-"

"Not Earth," Oz shakes his head.

"There was a-"

"Nope."

"Gah!" Damien says finally, "That's fucking crazy!"

"Another episode?" Oz tilts his head.

"Give me a moment," Damien says, "I'm just gonna soak that in."

"What is there to soak," Oz says with a poke at the demon, "It wasn't Earth."

"BUT HOW?" Damien says again.

Oz whips out his phone and glances at the texts he got from his friends a couple of hours ago.

**UndeadRiot:** Hey Oz, did you leave before the fire?

**☆Sparky☆:** yeah, i heard there was a fight on the floor where the food court was

**BlazinHot:** nobody got a video though cause every1 ran. fuckin cowards

**UndeadRiot:** You there Oz?

The last text was about thirty minutes ago, so Oz resolves to text them back quickly.

**Yellow Boi:** I saw the crowd and stuff but left soon after. Sorry for not answering just a little busy.

**☆Sparky☆:** with what?

**BlazinHot:** how come you never ask me stuff like that vick

**☆Sparky☆:** cuz ur always busy not Oz

**UndeadRiot:** If he says he's busy and he's rarely busy wouldn't that be less of a reason to ask? Y'know cause that means what he's doing is important.

**☆Sparky☆:** u guys are no fun. have fun doing whatevr ur doing Oz (i'll ask my question later)

Reading text after text from his friends Oz smiles. Then, another text from another chat makes Oz's phone ding.

**Damien LaVay:** What are you doing?

Oz looks up from his phone to the demon already looking at him with a smirk. 

"I was telling my friends I didn't die in the mall fire," Oz says plaintively.

"I started a mall fire?" Damien says quizzically.

"Apparently," Oz nods.

"Huh… cool," Damien leans back on the couch, puts his feet on the glass coffee table, then goes to move his arms when he winces.

When Oz sees Damien wince he immediately checks his phone to see that, sure enough Damien is long overdue more burn cream.

"Before we start a new episode, how about we put another layer of burn cream on those holy water burns," Oz asks with a tilt of his head.

"Fucking fine," Damien says, "But only because I'm still thinking about how crazy that episode was."

"Sure," Oz chuckles lightly, "Just because of that."

Oz reaches forward and grabs the cream before he starts using it on the burns. Every once in a while Damien will flinch a little and Oz will slow down and be more careful around the area he's working on.

"That should only take about three hours to dry and then the burns should barely hurt at all," Oz says with a nod as he makes sure he got everywhere there's burns.

"Thanks noob," Damien says while reaching for the remote again.

"Why do you call me that?" Oz asks curiously, "I mean I've technically saved your ass four times now. Shouldn't I be promoted to a better nickname."

"You make it sound like you had to fill out a job application to get a nickname," Damien says indifferently.

"I'm just saying. I think I'm better than a noob."

"Well, you haven't even given me a nickname at all," Damien points out, "So what does that mean for me."

"Fine," Oz says.

"Fine what?"

"I'll think of a nickname for you and you'll find something better than noob to call me," Oz explains.

"I never agreed to that shit," Damien says, pushing play on the TV to shut up the noob.

"Too bad." 

When the end of episode fifteen comes around Oz snaps his fingers then turns to Damien, "How about just Dames?"

"What?" Damien says turning to Oz.

"Your nickname. I'm terrible at coming up with nicknames so it's just a shortened version of your name," Oz nods to himself, "Dames sounds good doesn't it?"

Damien will never say that getting his first nickname filled him with a warm happy feeling. He'll never ever admit that he kinda liked the name the moment he heard it because it was just so stupid and sounded just like something the noo- Oz, would come up with.

"If that's what you're going to start calling me I can't stop you," Damien says with a small smile.

"Well, what's my new nickname then," Oz says curiously.

"I said I never agreed to that," Damien turns to Oz who looks relatively disappointed even without many facial features, "Uhh, fine. You made my fucking name shorter and there's no way I can do that with yours so it's getting longer… how about Ozzie?"

Already Damien feels embarrassed for offering such a subpar nickname. He didn't even really think before suggesting it. Oz is probably going to just fucking reject it and-

"Hmm… I like it," Oz says happily, "It's definitely a major improvement from noob anyways."

Oz fails to notice Damien's surprise and grabs the remote to start the next episode.

All Damien can think about is that he might need to pick fights at the mall more often.

The two boys are in the middle of episode twenty when Damien's phone starts getting blasted with texts.

Damien pulls his phone out of his pocket and checks it quickly, "Holy shit, it's fucking nine thirty."

"What? It can't be, it's not even dark-" Oz turns to one of the windows in his house from the couch, "It's dark outside?! Wow, we really watched Twilight Zone all day."

"Yeah we fucking did," Damien stuffs his phone in his pocket, "And my dads are having an anurism because I said I'd be home around six."

A ding from Oz's phone sounds out, and as Oz pulls it out he chuckles.

"Yeah, they just texted me to ask where you were," Oz chuckles, "I'm telling them you are here and that we were just hanging out."

"Ok well, I guess that's my cue to leave," Damien says as he gets up from Oz's couch.

"Wait a second," Oz scrambles across his house and back to hand Damien the burn cream, "Knowing you, you'll need this a lot more than my friend."

Damien looks up from his phone a minute and grabs the cream with a grumble. Oz's phobias pop up on his shoulders to wave goodbye to Damien and Oz does the same.

"If you want you can come back another day and we can continue watching our show."

Damien's mind supplies that Oz referred to the Twilight Zone as 'their' show and promptly looks away, "Yeah, yeah sure. I gotta go now."

"Bye Dames," Oz says as a portal opens up in his living room, "Don't die before the next time we meet."

"What fucking ever," Damien says as he steps through the portal, "Goodbye… Ozzie."

The portal closes and Oz is left to try and secretly return the items Oz stole from Amira's apartment. Oz grabs the remote and with an amused shake of his head turns off the TV. 

\-----------------------Extra---------------------

At three in the morning Oz gets a single text on his phone.

**Damien LaVey:** i just wanted to let u know, that just because i gave u a new nickname it doesn't mean I'm changing your chat name.

In a moment of recklessness Oz grabs his phone and changes Damien's chat name too. Then sends a single text.

**FUCKINGNOOB:** Ok. (:

Oz walks away from his phone as it violently vibrates on the table.

**AngryHellBoi:** what the fuck is that!

**AngryHellBoi:** how did you lock the damn chat naming?!

**AngryHellBoi:** u better fucking change my name back dipshit

_+25 more messages from AngryHellBoi yet to be read_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't ever watched the Twilight Zone I would reccomend it even if it's really old. They also have a newer version on HBO (I think) and although I haven't watched it, I heard it's good. I just think that it would be good show for Oz and Damien to bond over because I feel that basic horror movies would just annoy Damien.


	11. Braids, the Loser Gang, and a Crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oz sees what Damien's watching on his phone.
> 
> Damien and Oz discuss the Loser Gang.
> 
> Damien has a crisis about his future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes three different interractions between Damien and Oz that are important to future plots, but were to short to have their own chapter. Instead of attemping to lenghthen them and chance making the situations boring, I decided to put all three in the same chapter.

"What are you watching?" Oz says looking over Damien's shoulder.

"HOLY SHIT OZ," Damien whips around on the couch and drops his phone, "How the fucking hell are you so quiet?!"

Oz places a hand on the back of his neck and rubs it, "No real weight so the only noise I usually make walking comes from my shoes, and I'm wearing slippers right now so… well you get it."

"You knocked my fucking phone out of my hand," Damien growls more to himself then Oz.

Without replying Oz shadow jumps in front of the couch and leans down to grab Damien's phone.

"WAIT!" Damien yells as Oz lifts the phone off the ground and looks at the screen.

"Huh," A soundless video of a gorgan braiding someone's hair in a very intricate design is pulled up on youtube. Oz reads the title out loud, "Dutch Infinity braid and Makeup tutorial: Master Class ...hmm…"

Damien.exe has stopped functioning. What could he do at this very moment to get away as fast as possible? Oz already had Damien's phone, so he couldn't use that to teleport, Damien had already promised Oz to at least not purposefully light his home on fire again, and shadow jumping is also a no-go being that only Oz can use it. Damien comes to the conclusion that he'll just pretend to get amnesia and book it.

"That looks pretty difficult to do," Oz says ignorant of Damien's sudden intense gaze, "Master's level? I'd say so. The last time I tried to normally braid Vicky's hair normally she had to go to the hair salon and get a haircut to fix what I did."

"You… don't think it's weird?" Damien says suddenly, gaining Oz's attention.

"No? Why would I?" Oz says with a tilt of his head, "It's a cool video. I see why you would watch it. The makeup looks nice too."

Damien stares at Oz for a little while, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. 

"Dames? What's wrong?" 

Damien seems to finally come to his senses and quickly steals the phone from Oz, "Don't fucking look at other people's phone Oz."

Oz turns to Damien in confusion, "Umm...sorry?"

Damien turns to look at Oz then looks away with a scowl, "Did you fucking mean it when you said the video was cool?"

"Umm… yeah? Why wouldn't I," Oz is getting increasingly confused by this interaction. The last time Oz saw someone acting this way was when Amira found Brian's- oh. "Are you embarrassed Damien?"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" Damien shouts defensively with redder than normal cheeks, "WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?!?!"

"It's fine Damien," Oz says lightly, "I really meant what I said about thinking the video was cool. I might even watch a few later, I never thought people posted things like that, but it'll be useful for the next time Vicky drags me into helping her do makeup." 

Damien seems to calm down drastically then mumble something under his breath.

"What did you say? I couldn't hear you," Oz tilts his head for clarification.

Damien makes eye contact with Oz and tsks, "Would you like me to fucking show you how to do that crap?"

"Wait, you know how to do that really complicated braid?!" Oz says a little too loudly.

Damien interprets his noise level the wrong way and tries to backtrack, "Never fucking mind, it was a-"

Oz cuts Damien off, "Do you really think you could show me? I'm terrible at following directions when it comes to hair, so I'll probably annoy you."

Damien is caught again, staring at Oz with his mouth opening and closing rapidly.

When he finally snaps out of it Damien just nods once. Damien pops through a portal to his room and grabs a mannequin with a wig. Oz doesn't question this, or the way Damien is able to explain how to do the braid on a professional level. However, if Damien let's it slip that he's been learning how to do all this stuff as a hobby, who is Oz to judge? Afterall he thinks it's interesting too.

It's easy to say the next time Vicky asks Oz to try and do her hair she's surprised, and maybe just a little bit impressed by his work.

\----------------Two days later---------------

Damien and Oz are sitting in the living room watching the TV and talking about the amount of time it would take different buildings to collapse after being set on fire.

"I'm telling you Oz, it wouldn't take less than ten fucking minutes if I set the building on fire," Damien states firmly.

"And I'm saying that fire magic can't be used in this theoretical situation!" Oz argues back.

"But-" A loud bang noise sounds throughout the room cutting Damien off.

The first few times this happened Oz almost had a heart attack thinking someone tried throwing an explosive at his house. After a while though, Oz got used to Damien's awful ringtone and learned not to react to it. It's probably not a healthy habit, being how Oz now no longer reacts to explosive sounds, but it was also a necessary adaptation in his life.

Damien pulls out his phone and pushes a couple of buttons, "It's just fucking Polly and Liam arguing about some fucking party this friday."

Oz tilts his head in thought, "Liam is the vampire and Polly is the… gorgon, right?"

"No, Vera's the gorgon and Polly's a poltergeist," Damien corrects Oz as he texts saying that a party is a fucking party and that he wants them to stop spamming the group chat.

"Why do I always mix those two up?" Oz says while shaking his head.

"Because you're fucking stupid," Damien supplies.

"Really? Then what's my friend's names," Oz challenges.

"Why would I remember the loser gang's names?" Damien's started calling Oz's group of friends the loser gang in good humor.

"See? I knew you didn't remember!" Oz says with a poke.

"Fuck you! I have a great memory!" Damien growls, "The zombie's name is Brian, the frankenstein is Vicky, and the girl with literal hot hair is Amira!"

Oz looks properly shocked, so Damien knows he recalled the correct names. 

"How did you remember?!" 

"You talk about them enough that I could write a fucking book about them if I wanted too," Damien says with smirk. Oz's expression immediately turns mischievous, yes, Damien can tell.

"So you pay attention to me enough to remember all that?" Oz says cheekily.

"Shut the fuck up Ozzie. It's like when people play background music when they're working, I just manage to absorb some of your boring friend's info."

"My friends aren't boring!" Oz says defensively.

"Name one cool thing they've done."

"Remember that citywide power out last year? That was Vicky and Amira. That hospital that closed down a few months ago because of a virus, a prank done by Brian," Oz states, "If anything I'm the boring one in the group."

"Really? I bet they actually did both on accident," Damien says with an eye roll.

Oz shifts uncomfortably, "Maybe… but they still did it."

"Ozzie, you stabbed a cyclops in the eye, took down an entire cult attack force, threw molotovs at the police, and helped me rob one of the most secure banks in the world. You think they've done crap like that?"

"You make it sound like you didn't force me into doing half those things!"

"What fucking ever," Damien says while rolling his eyes, "Tell me whenever they do something like that and I might want to meet them."

"You're an asshole Damien," Oz says with fake annoyance.

"Did you ever think less of me?" Damien chuckles.

\---------------A few days later----------------

After the events at the mall, Damien started coming over to Oz's house whenever he didn't have anything to do. Oz partially regrets giving Damien his address and a house key, but overall still enjoys his company, no matter how vulgar. Well, and because Damien could already just teleport in whenever he wanted too.

Sometimes the two watch Twilight Zone together and other days Oz and Damien will just sit in the living room texting friends and playing on their phones. To Oz it was nice to not have to try and be high energy around someone 24/7. Not that Oz doesn't love his other friends, but Vicky and Amira can be a little too much sometimes. Brian and Oz have something similar, but not the same. Brian will just go along with anything as long as it's not too extreme, Damien will say what he likes or doesn't right off the bat, no sugarcoating. Oz likes that he never has to ask Damien to explain something, he's completely straightforward and easy to read. 

Damien wouldn't say it, but he felt the same. Vera's great to scheme with, but she always finds a way to be too condescending. Polly's wild in a good way, but her idea of fun is a drug induced fever dream that would kill anyone that isn't already dead. Liam is fun to talk with, but at the end of some conversations Damien just wants to punch the guy. Oz is all of those things, but in the best way. Not to say he's perfect, nobody is, even Damien would admit that, but Oz is definitely high up there on the people he likes chart.

Oz is quiet most of the time, but when he talks it always has an impact. He's willing to be reckless, but not to the point of it being detrimental to him or his friends. Damien can just talk to him and even if Oz isn't looking his way he just knows Oz is listening. It's weird, but Damien is used to people always trying to talk over him, he's not used to someone just… listening all the time. The best part about Oz though, is that no matter what crazy thing Damien suggests Oz always takes him seriously. Even if his idea is terrible, Oz will find some way to either talk Damien out of it or make a better plan, instead of just laughing Damien's idea off like it's a joke.

That's why Damien's sitting on Oz's living room couch with a very big problem he needs someone to listen to. Of course the one day Damien really needs the guy he's out grocery shopping or something at like two in the morning.

Damien did something very impulsive and very stupid. The broken red horn in his hand was enough to know that. Damien was having a bit of a crisis with what he wanted to do in his future. Nothing really triggered the sudden crisis, but when does something ever happen to cause it. All it takes is bad morning and a couple of bad thoughts. Which is what led Damien to break his own horn off in a fit of rebellion against his own future.

There's a loud slam as somebody comes into Oz's house. Damien tenses, Oz never said he gave any of his other friends house keys, but with his usual luck you can never be too sure.

"Damien?" Oz asks the moment he realizes someone's in his dark living room.

Damien relaxes at the familiar voice in the back of his head and replies, "Hey Oz."

"What are you doing here so late?" Oz asks softly.

"What were you doing out so late?" Damien says defensively.

Oz isn't off-put by the demon's standoffish demeanor, he's gotten very used to Damien's cues and Oz knows that it's just a defense mechanism.

"You know how I told you I eat fear?" Oz decides that the only way to get Damien to open up is to do it himself first, "I haven't eaten in a while so I had to go out."

"Do you do what you did at the bank to random people?"

Oz knows Damien didn't mean it in an accusatory way, but Oz still flinches, "N-no, I only take what's already there. I don't hurt anybody unless I have to."

"Oh, sorry," Damien responds despondently.

"I know you didn't come here so late to just talk about my eating habits," Oz approaches the subject lightly, "Whatever you want to talk about you know I'm here to listen right, Dames?"

"Oz, do you have night vision?" Damien asks quietly, knowing Oz can hear him clearly.

"Yes, but I usually keep it off unless I'm outside at night, why?"

"Use it, or turn on the lights," Damien requests in the same manner.

"Ok?" The sound of soft footsteps echo around the silent house as Oz makes his way to the light switch. A soft click is heard before the lights turn on and then almost too quiet for Damien to hear, "W-what happened to your horn?!"

"I did something stupid Oz," Damien says with his tone very close to deafeat.

"What happened?" Oz practically runs to Damien on the couch.

"I broke it off myself."

"What?!" Oz yells and Damien flinches at the loud noise in his head, "Why?!"

"I had a bad day and I did something impulsive," Damien says as he lowers his head in shame.

"D-do you want to talk about it?" Oz asks softly, "You know I'll listen, right?"

"Why the fuck would I come over here if I didn't want to talk about it?!" Damien snaps at Oz.

"Sorry, sorry," Oz apologizes, knowing Damien's not angry at him but rather himself.

"I told you my dads are the kings of Hell, right?" Damien starts from the beginning and Oz nods, "They want me to take over whenever they retire and be the sole king of our domain."

Oz watches on as Damien gets more and more stressed as he talks.

"Oz, I'm fucking twenty-one, I don't know what I'm fucking doing with my own life all the time! How the Hell am I supposed to rule the fucking 8th circle of Hell! I haven't even gone to a real highschool yet!"

"As long as it's what you want Damien," Oz starts, "I know you'll do fine. The start might be a little-"

"But that's the thing," Damien cuts Oz off, "I don't even fucking know if that's what I want! There's so many things I want to do, and being cooped up in Hell for the rest of eternity stops me from doing stuff!"

Oz tries to speak but Damien continues, "I just- I don't fucking know what I want! I know what my parents want from me, I know what my friends want from me, but I don't know what _I_ want from me!"

"Damien!" Oz says efficiently cutting Damien's rant off, "You don't have to be any of those things, it's your life. You know your parents would support you no matter what you do."

"I know they'd fucking support me, but they'd still be disappointed!" Damien shouts, "I wasn't thinking right earlier and I looked in the fucking mirror and just saw my horns and snapped, thinking it would help somehow."

"Did you hurt yourself?" Oz says with concern.

"No," Damien huffs angrily, "I don't fucking feel pain in my horns."

"Well, at least you're all right."

"I just fucking spilt my guts to you and that's what you take from it!" Damien growls out annoyed.

"What do you want me to say Damien?" Oz turns to him questioningly, "I already said that I know you'll do great in whatever you decide to do. I know your dads will support you. Sure, they might be a little sad, but it would be because they couldn't retire, not because of you. Damien, tell me how long do demons live?"

"Until something kills them," Damien answers quickly, listening to Oz intently.

"Then as long as you stay alive, you've got all the time in the world to do what you want," Oz says with finality, "Don't spend that time thinking too far into the future or you'll waste your present. You get that?"

Damien stares at Oz wide-eyed at the impromptu speech just given and nods accordingly.

"I'm sure that whatever you do, it'll end up alright," Oz says with the closest expression he can get to a smile.

"Thanks Oz," Damien says looking away from his cheery friend.

Oz notices how Damien looks away and completely misinterprets the cause and tries to think of a way to make things better, "Umm… do you need a hug or something?"

"What?" Damien says turning to Oz shocked.

"I'm s-sorry, I'm really bad with social cues and if you don't want one I'm sorry. I just kind of spoke without really-" Oz ramblings get cut off by Damien arms.

"What have I fucking told you about overthinking crap," Damien says with his arms around Oz.

"S-sorry," Oz replies, slowly returning the hug.

"Stop fucking apologizing," Damien growls in Oz's ear.

"Sor- ok," Oz corrects himself.

After a little while Damien retracts his arms and Oz does the same. Damien looks away again for, but for another reason.

"Do you feel better?" Oz asks hesitantly.

Damien grumbles out a soft yeah still turned away from Oz.

"Now, considering you probably left your house in the middle of the night without telling them, do you want me to text your dads that you're sleeping over?" 

"What? Sleeping over?" Damien stares at Oz absolutely confused by the quick change of subject.

"Well, since it's two in the morning and you've probably been hiding that-" Oz points at Damien's broken horn, "from them, we'll need to come up with an excuse."

"Or we can just not do that," Damien says, already deciding to just play it off as a normal thing, "My parents won't question it much if I tell them I broke it off myself."

"Really?" Oz says almost disbelievingly.

"I've done worse," Damien says with a shrug, "The other things just didn't come with fucking emotional baggage."

"Are you sure?" Oz asks, hesitant to leave Damien on his own in such an emotional state, "You can still stay the night if you want to."

"If you just wanted me to stay, you could have just said so Ozzie," Damien teases Oz and promptly reaches for the remote to the TV, "What episode were we on last time?"

"We were just about to watch episode sixty-six."

"Oh yeah, that one."

The rest of that morning is spent watching the TV on the couch quietly side by side.


	12. Orc Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damien gets information from Vera that a gang of orcs will be meeting up. He decides that he wants to fight them all, much to Oz's dismay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning. Oz does have a panic attack in this chapter so TRIGGER WARNING.

As much as Oz enjoys his new friendship with Damien, he does not enjoy the precarious situations the demon tries to drag him into. 

"I'm telling you Ozzie, it'll be fucking fun!" Damien yells from the doorway to the kitchen.

"I refuse to help you try and take on an entire gang because you have a sudden craving for violence," Oz says standing his ground.

A few minutes earlier both of the monsters now arguing were having a great time chatting in Oz's living room. That is, until Damien, with no build-up whatsoever, asked Oz to help him take down a gang of orcs. One thing led to another and here they are in the kitchen arguing.

"So you're just going to fucking blow me off?!" Damien asks in frustration.

"It's not considered blowing someone off unless the other person had originally said yes," Oz says diplomatically, "I never agreed in the first place."

Usually, Oz would go along with whatever bullshit Damien would pull, but today was just too much. Damien didn't know anything about the gang he suddenly wanted to fight. He didn't know how many people would be there, if they would have weapons, or even the group's name. The only thing Damien did know, was the location of their dealing and that all the members are orcs, and that's only because of his friend Vera. After already hearing enough about the gorgon, Oz is about seventy-five percent certain she let the location and time slip on purpose hoping Damien would take the group out for her.

"You helped me rob a fucking bank and you draw the line at beating up an orc gang?!" Damien growls.

"I helped you rob a bank because we had enough information to make a plan then!" Oz says in frustration, "We know absolutely nothing about the guys you want to go fight!"

"I know that they're meeting at a fucking warehouse uptown at twelve!" Damien says challengingly, "That's enough for me to hang their damn intestines from the street lamps!"

"I'm not going to help you," Oz says with finality, "It's a reckless idea."

"Well fucking fine then. I'll do this my godamn self," Damien shouts as he leaves the kitchen doorway, "If you man the fuck up and decide you wanna actually help, meet me three blocks from the warehouse at eleven."

"I won't be there," Oz says monotone as Damien grumpily stomps out of Oz's house, slamming the door on his way out.

Once Damien leaves Oz starts cursing at no one, "Stupid Damien, being reckless and dumb."

Oz had tried to convince the demon to see reason earlier in the living room, but after he outright refused any type of alternative plans for the night Oz gave up. He hoped that refusing to help Damien would lead him to scraping the idea. Sadly, it did not.

Instead, Oz's roundabout way of thinking has left him cursing at thin air in his kitchen, worried out of his mind. Anxiety is bitch and imagination is a curse, but together, they're torture. All afternoon Oz's mind supplies image after image of an injured Damien all by himself in an abandoned warehouse. Each interpretation of the thought gets worse and worse until Oz is on the verge of a breakdown. 

Oz sits down on his couch and starts counting his phobias one by one. Each one pops up and then disappears on his shoulder along with his steady counting. Oz can't take doing nothing, so he starts trying to plan. He can't just let Damien go fight a group of orcs by himself, even if Oz getting involved is dangerous.

Oz spends all evening on his couch thinking of plans for every different kind of situation he can think of. If they have weapons, Oz will disarm them quickly from the shadows. If there's more orcs than Oz and Damien can fight, Oz will shadow jump them out of there. If Vera's info was wrong and they are not orcs, well Oz created a whole subset of plans for that. And after contemplating for another hour, Oz decides that if everything he planned goes south, Oz **will** _go all out_.

Soon enough eleven o'clock is upon Oz and he mentally prepares himself to leave. However, to make sure Damien wasn't just bluffing about actually fighting the orcs by himself, Oz shadow jumps to the rooftop near their meet-up location and observes.

Not a moment after Oz appears on the roof, Damien walks out of one of his portals on the street below. Oz watches Damien closely with the hopes that he'll just decide to walk away. About ten minutes after eleven Damien starts pacing and not long after he pulls out his phone and a portal appears. Even from this distance Oz can tell that Damien's destination isn't his fiery home in hell, but rather a warehouse. Knowing for sure that Damien wasn't joking earlier, Oz appears from the demon's shadow and blocks him from entering the portal.

Damien's eyes widen and both monsters stare at each other in silence before Oz speaks in a subdued tone, "You really planned on trying to fight all by yourself?"

"What do you mean  _ planned _ ? I'm  _ going _ to fight those orcs and you can't stop me," Damien says with a smug smirk, he knew he was getting what he wanted.

"I know," Oz says tiredly, "That's why I'm coming with you. I can't let you go without any support."

For the first time today, Damien looks hesitant to respond, "You're coming with me?"

"Yeah, I'll be there in case anything goes wrong," This time when Oz speaks his words are full of determination, "I'll have your back Dames."

Damien looks absolutely taken aback by what Oz says before he seemingly glares at the brick wall to their right. A few more moments pass and right as Oz starts to get nervous Damien responds.

"Thanks Ozzie," He grumbles under his breath.

There's another short bit of silence before Damien turns back to Oz and gestures to the portal, "I'll go first and then you've got to go through quickly behind me before it closes."

Oz nods once as Damien stomps through the portal and then Oz follows quickly behind. When he exits the portal Damien and him are standing in the rafters of the warehouse looking down. 

"They should be showing up any fucking minute now," Damien crouches down on the rafter to stay hidden.

"Would you like me to scout the place out, Dames?" Oz askes already half submerged in his own shadow.

"Do whatever you fucking want," Damien looks away and if Oz didn't have such great hearing he would have missed his low grumbling afterwords, "So fucking unfair, shadow shit looks so damn cool."

"Umm… thank you?" Oz tilts his head at the weird compliment.

Damien's head swirves towards Oz with a lifted eyebrow, "Did you fucking hear me?"

"Yeah? Should I not have?"

"No, but it's fine. I'll file super hearing under all the other bullshit you can do," Damien growls, "What are you still doing here, didn't you say you wanted to scout or some crap?"

"Oh yeah, I'll go do that," Oz disappears from the rafter and starts exploring the warehouse from the shadows.

The place wasn't considerably big for a warehouse, but there was definitely enough room to have a small concert if necessary. Or in this case, a gang meetup.

After doing a couple rounds around the building Oz determined there are five entrances to the warehouse, of which only four could be seen from Damien's vantage point. Oz decides to look around outside the warehouse when he spots two groups of around ten orcs coming from different directions towards him.

Jumping back to Damien immediately, Oz informs him of their arriving company, "There Are twenty orcs coming towards the warehouse from north and east."

"HOLY-" Damien stumbles on the rafter and Oz is afraid for a moment that he'll fall, but at the last second Damien rights himself then glares at Oz, "You've gotta give me some type of warning before you just appear out of nowhere and start talking into my head!"

"Sorry…" Oz stops talking when the doors on either side of the warehouse burst open as orcs walk in.

"Don't talk or they might hear you Dames," Oz says, making sure to only project to Damien rather than his usual ranged telepathy, "Since you probably can't hear them from here I'll tell you what they're saying."

Damien opens his mouth to say something before he catches his almost mistake and nods instead. Oz thanks the universe Damien didn't just blow their cover and scan the entering groups.

Most of the orcs lacked weapons of any kind, but a few had bladed weapons of different sizes. One orc in particular, had a giant war ax laid against his back. Since he was walking at the very front of the group Oz could only assume that said orc is the leader. Oz passes the information to Damien and his eyes glue to the guy Oz was talking about.

"You got new recruits, Crog?" The ax wielding orc from earlier asks the other group of smaller orcs.

"Yes sir, these fine people heard of our cause and decided to join," The one apparently named Crog responds.

"And why do they wish to join our cause?" The large one asks another question.

"They've been treated unfairly for their species just like us. Spit upon because of their natural looks despite their other traits," Crog says smoothly.

"Interesting," The leader says then turns his attention to the other orcs in Crog's party, "What are you willing to do for our group?"

Each of the ocs tries to speak over another to let their pledge of loyalty be heard, but the leader puts their hands up to quiet them.

"To join us words are not enough. If you join us, you will do whatever profits the group no matter what," The leader pauses as some orcs look more hesitant, "However, I do not doubt your ability to follow through. We orcs are the best race among monsters! Better than the long dead ghosts who didn't deserve a second chance, better than the merpeople who live their lives depending on others, and yes, we are even better than the demons who are arrogant and foolhardy."

Oz doesn't have to look at Damien to know he's fuming at the borderline racist comments. Oz knows Damien's good friends with Polly, who's a ghost, and the comments about his own people were even more offending than the leader's other comments.

"Damien it's not a good idea-" Oz tries to stop his friend one last time, but Damien is already jumping from the rafters freefalling towards the orcs, "Damn it all."

With a thud Damien lands in between the two groups, grabbing their attention then yelling, "Alright bastards it's time to fucking die!" 

Using the element of surprise while they still have it, Oz starts stealing the weapons off of the few people in the room that have them using the shadows. The only person Oz isn't able to disarm while Damien talks is the leader.

"Who are you?!" One of orcs closest to Damien shouts.

"Why would I tell you-" Damien lunges towards the orc that spoke with a fireball in one hand and his signature dagger in the other, "-when you're all just about to die!"

That is the exact moment when all hell breaks loose. Three apparent new recruit orcs rush towards the exit as all the others run towards Damien. Oz takes this as his moment to step in and materializes from the shadows to deliver an unsuspecting orc a solid punch in the face.

The funny thing about Oz's body is that since it has no defined weight Oz can quite literally punch someone one day and it'll feel like a pillow, while on another day it's like getting hit by a twelve ton truck going two hundred miles an hour. Right now, Oz is a little on the truck side of the spectrum so the crunching sound from what used to be the orc's nose didn't seem strange to Oz.

The other orcs however, after seeing Oz come out of nowhere and deck a guy so hard his nose broke, decided to think about their life choices a little better. However, before they could retreat the boss orc finally entered the battle and swung his gigantic war ax down towards Oz. For a split second before Oz disappears he thinks about how impractical a weapon three times your size is.

Reappearing to deck another orc, Oz takes a second to look over his shoulder and… the leader's ax is stuck in the cement and he's desperately trying to pull it out to attack again. Oz almost wants to laugh, impractical indeed.

Oz turns to see how Damien is doing and is relieved to see him laughing maniacally as different orcs run around screaming while on fire.

That's how the next few minutes of fighting go. Oz disappears through the shadows then jumps out to deliver painful blows to each of his enemies while dodging the leader everytime he gets his ax back. Damien slices and dices the orcs Oz doesn't hit while throwing balls of fire around and turning the old warehouse into a blazing inferno.

Everything was going one thousand times better than what Oz had thought and he was even considering apologizing to Damien for not trusting him, but that's when everything went south. 

Oz jumps out of an orc's shadow to knock him out from behind when a sharp squeak and a light tingling on his shoulder alerts him of Cynophobia trying to point at something behind Oz. Oz follows the phobia's directions and turns around to look.

Everything freezes as Oz watches the leader struggle to pull his gigantic axe out of the concrete from the last time he took a swing at Oz. The large orc gives one last giant heave and the weapon unlodges from the ground. Damien is in front of him dodging the flurried blows from another weaker orc. Oz can see what the leader's planning the moment his grip tightens on the axe. In slow motion the boss brings his sword up to slash at Damien, who hasn't noticed the danger.

"DAMIEN LOOK OUT!" All the orcs left halt momentarily at the overwhelming voice in their heads and look around in pain.

Damien stiffens and starts to turn around, but it's too late, he won't be able to dodge in time. To Oz's horror instead of his warning stopping the leader from swinging, it shocks him into changing directions. The axe is now heading directly for the back of Damien's head.

Faster than any eye can see, Oz punches the man full force while reaching into the orc's mind and suffocating it in his power. The boss flies through the wall of the warehouse and an ugly splattering sound is heard from outside. Oz is left standing behind Damien with his eyes larger than normal and a unhinged jaw sporting a maw filled with various sharp animal-like teeth, his phobias writhling at his feet three times their normal size making squelching squeaky noises.

All the orcs present promply freak the fuck out and decide to get the hell out there. As they start running Damien finally turns all the way around to find a normal Oz staring at an orc shaped hole in the wall.

Damien looks at the wall and then back at Oz, "Did you just fucking throw that huge ass orc through a wall?!"

"Y-yeah," Oz's telepathic voice comes off shaky and disoriented, "I p-punched him.."

"HOLY SHIT! Holy shit! Holy fucking shit!" Damien says walking closer to the hole, "You think that killed him? Who the fuck am I kidding, of course he's dead! You sent him through a fucking wall!"

Oz wants to feel bad about killing the orc. That was exactly what he's been trying to avoid by not eating like he used to, but Oz just couldn't work up any sympathy for the man he just killed right now. That orc tried to kill Oz's friend. That ork tried to kill  **Damien** . All Oz can think about is how close the blade was to the demon's neck, how if Oz had been even a millisecond later in his attack there would be two bodies tonight. Oz can feel his hands shaking and starts counting frantically trying to get himself back together. What if Oz had decided not to come tonight? What if Oz had been even a foot farther away? What if-

  
  


"FUCKING HELL OZZIE!" Damien voice cuts through Oz's thoughts, "You turned him into a fucking puddle!"

Oz looks up to find Damien peeking at him from the otherside of the hole the orc made. Oz takes a moment to force all his thoughts to the back of his brain and run on autopilot.

"Y-yeah I did," Oz says monotone with a stutter.

Damien hops back through the hole in the wall and walks awkwardly up to Oz, "Look Ozzie, I know I didn't say it very well earlier but I'm glad you decided to come with me."

"I'm g-glad I was able to help."

"Hey- ow," Damien is about to say something else as he puts his hand on the back of his neck, but cuts himself off with a grunt of pain. Damien pulls his hand away from his neck and it's covered in blood, "What the hell!?"

Oz's eyes widen and before Damien can react, Oz is already behind him checking his neck. There was a cut, not very deep, but a cut nonetheless. A cut from the axe of the orc, it had just grazed him. Already starting to fall into a state of regret, Oz grabs Damien and pulls him through his own shadow before Oz jumps to his house's bathroom. 

After Slayer tried to kill Damien, Oz went on a spending spree buying all the medical supplies anyone could ever need. Honestly, Oz could probably make most hospitals jealous of his setup. 

Oz grabs rubbing alcohol and a roll of gauze then pops back into his living room where Damien rolls his eyes at Oz.

"You didn't need to bring me back her for such a fucking tiny cut Oz," Damien growls, "Give me the fucking stuff and I'll put the bandage on myself. I know you won't let me fucking leave otherwise."

Damien's surprised when Oz hands him what he has without protest. He usually always argues about helping Damien with his injuries to 'make sure he does it right.' Before taking the items from Oz, Damien looks at his friends. Oz was surprisingly calm about the whole fight and barely said anything after all the orcs ran like wimps. What Oz did say however, he said with a stutter. Even now Damien can see a slight tremor in Oz's hands.

"Are you alright dipshit?" Damien asks gruffly.

"I-I'm fine Damien," Oz stutters out monotone, "Do you n-need help?"

"No, I've got it," Damien watches Oz closely and decides that something that happened at the warehouse is bothering him and Damien's going to calm him down, "Do you want to watch TV or something for a while before I leave?"

"S-sure, just give me about ten minutes to grab something real quick," Without letting Damien question him Oz quickly walks out of the room.

Once Oz is gone, Damien sits down on the couch and turns the TV on. He switches it to the last episode of the Twilight Zone they watched and waits for Oz to come back to the living room. After spending so much time with Oz, Damien has gotten used to being teleported at random and Oz just popping up. Well, mostly used to Oz popping up. However after ten minutes pass Damien starts to get a little concerned and decides to look for his friend.

Damien walks down the hallway to Oz's room but stops short at the bathroom. There wasn't anything particularly wrong with the room, but a chill ran Damien's spine as he stopped in front of it. The door is closed and no noise comes from the room, but Damien decides to try and open the door anyways. It's locked.

"Ozzie? Are you in there?" Damien knocks on the door a couple of times and there's no response. Figuring that Oz would answer if he was inside, Damien is about to continue down the hall, or Damien would have if the same black goo he saw come out of Oz's hand the day they robbed the bank, hadn't started pooling under the bathroom door.

"Oz?! Are you in there?" Damien bangs on the door again, "You better not be fucking ignoring me!"

The black goo pool continues to grow bigger and Damien has enough. Stepping away from the door, Damien prepares to charge into the locked room. With a solid start Damien charges the door and a crack is heard from the locking mechanism breaking. The door swings open and Damien stares inside shocked.

The usually pristine bathroom is covered wall to wall, floor to ceiling, with the same black slime from under the door. The only part of the room not covered in the black substance is the corner farthest from the door, and in that corner sits Oz. Shaking as black liquid pours from his eyes and ears. The moment it hits the floor it moves away from Oz to cover some other part of the room.

"What the fuck…" Damien stares at the scene with horror.

Was he hurt by one of those fucking orcs?! Was he acting strange earlier because Oz didn't want Damien to know?! Of course Oz would be the type to hide his problems from others while trying to solve everyone else's! Whatever, it doesn't fucking matter right know.

"Ozzie?! Can you hear me?!" Damien slowly starts across the bathroom with Oz not reacting, "Can you tell me what the fuck's going on!?"

Damien tries to set a hand on Oz's shoulder, but instead hitting something solid, his hand sinks into Oz's black matter body.

"Holy shit!" Damien jerks his hand back expecting it to be covered in black goo, but to his surprise the hand he pulled out is completely clean. Damien looks back at Oz and notices that his usual white eyes are now completly gone, "What the hell do I fucking do?! Shit."

Damien is trying to think of what to do, when the black matter on Oz's shoulder starts to shift into a familiar little black creature. The little creature seems to stare at Damien then just nods at him and pulls a little inky thumbs up.

"WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!" Damien shouts at the tiny creature.

All of a sudden the area around Oz repeling the black goo seems to shrink and the tiny black guy on his shoulder starts rapidly shaking his head at Damien.

"No loud noises? Is that what you're trying to say?" Damien whisper yells at the black inkling, who nods vigorously.

God, what were these things actually called? Didn't Oz say they embodied types of fears. Damien tries to think back quickly and recall. Phobias! That's what Oz said.

"What do I do then?" Damien asks, the phobia still whisper yelling. The phobia creates two little arms and imitates a shrug. "Well that doesn't fucking help!"

The phobia frowns and starts squeaking rapidly about something Damien doesn't understand.

"Ok, I can't understand you, but you can understand me," Damien reasons, "How about I just ask yes and no questions and you answer?"

The phobia seems to grin again and sports another thumbs up.

"Ok then. Is Oz dying?" Damien asks, holding his breath.

The phobia shakes its head.

"Is he hurt?" Damien asks, still concerned.

The phobia hesitates for a moment then shakes its head.

Damien lets out a relieved sigh, "So he's not in pain or anything, right?"

The phobia frowns and then shakes it's head slowly.

"No, he's not in pain, or no, he is in pain?" 

Before Damien can retract his question for it not being yes or no question, the phobia manifests a tiny little hand and puts up a two.

"Shit, he's in pain?!" Damien growls in concern.

The phobia shrinks a little and nods at Damien.

"How do I fucking help him?" Damien practically interrogates the phobia.

The tiny black creature shrugs then points to it's tiny mouth and starts squeaking.

"I don't know what that means!"

The phobia rolls it's eyes then points at Damien before pointing back at it's own mouth and squeaking again.

"You want me to do something with my mouth?" Damien guesses desperately confused.

To his surprise, the phobia starts nodding vigorously at Damien's random assumption.

"Well, what is it?!"

The phobia points at its mouth again and starts squeaking again.

"I don't know what that means," Damien says in frustration, "I can't talk like you!"

The phobia starts pointing and squeaking louder at Damien the moment he starts the second part of his sentence.

"What is it? I just said I can't talk-"

The phobia squeaks louder and puts its hands up in a stopping motion.

"Talk?" Damien says inquisitively, "That's what I should do? Oz can't fucking hear me though!"

Despite Damien's objections, the phobia nods gleefully before disappearing.

"That little fucking dude just left me!" Damien growls angrily. The little goo shit said that Damien should just talk to Oz, but about what? This fucking awkward as hell.

"H-hey Oz, when whatever this is ends you're going to tell me what the hell's going on with you alright? You can't just fucking say you're going to get something, so you can go keel over in the bathroom. Do you know how much this shit fucking scared me?! I don't even know what the fuck this black stuff is. I thought you were bleeding out. It's a good thing you have those damn phobias or I would have tried to use dark magic on you," Damien tries to joke to make himself less nervous, but just ends up making a weird forced laughing noise instead, "Have you been like this for the whole time I was waiting for you on the couch? I fucking hope not with your phobia thing saying this crap hurts."

The next five minutes are spent just like this, with Damien mindlessly cursing and rambling to Oz. Damien was beginning to get worried again when he noticed Oz's white eyes begin to reappear along with the black sludge slowly melting away.

"Ozzie?! Ozzie, can you hear me?!" Damien exclaims.

"...Dames…?" A small voice replies inside Damien's head.

"Of fucking hell," Damien sighs in pure relief, "You're back Ozzie."

"...did I spend too long in the bathroom? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave you waiting," Oz's voice stays entirely too quiet for Damien's comfort and Oz barely turns his head when talking.

Taking a bet, Damien places his hand on Oz's shoulder exactly the same as earlier. This time however, Damien's hand stays put. 

"Don't fucking say shit about me waiting!" Damien growls while tugging Oz into a hug, "You fucking bastard, making me think you were dying!"

"...I'm sorry," Oz says sadly.

"If you're actually fucking sorry you're going to sit with me on the couch in the living room and tell me what the hell this was, because you're damn phobias can't talk."

Oz stays quiet for a moment before replying softly, "...I don't want to bother you."

"Fuck that crap!" Without letting Oz reply Damien picks him up as the last of the black gunk disappears from the bathroom, "You  **ARE** going to tell me what that was whether you think it'll burden me or not. WHICH IT FUCKING WON'T!"

Oz weakly tries to protest as Damien carries him through his own house, but Oz is far too tired to actually struggle against the demon. When they make it back to the living room Damien sets Oz down on the couch unusually carefully.

"Now are you gonna start talking or am I going to have to play charades with your phobias again?"

Oz shrinks a little at the suggestion looking away from Damien.

"Look Ozzie," Damien says with a long sigh, "I thought you were dying and had no fucking clue what to do, so a little damn information for if it happens again would be nice."

"I-I had a panic attack…" Oz responds softly.

"What the fuck is that?"

Oz looks at Damien a little surprised before trying to explain, "It's different for everyone that has them, but for me, I usually know when one is about to happen. They can be random but usually mine are triggered by anxiety."

"Wait," Damien says in frustration, "You mean you knew you were about to have one of these 'panic attacks' and you decided to lock yourself in the fucking bathroom!?"

"Y-yes, that's what I normally do," Oz pauses a second, "W-well not in the bathroom, just anywhere where there's no people."

"What about the black goo and the not responding shit? That can't be fucking normal!" 

"When I go into a bad panic attack I usually end up severely dissaciocating to the point I can't hear, feel, or see anything," Oz explains looking at his feet, "Eventually I'll start being able to tune back into my senses, but that's usually near the end."

Damien looks horrified at the realization that Oz couldn't even tell what was happening during his attack, but Oz ignores him in favor of answering Damien's other question.

"The other stuff is normal for fearlings," Oz lies about that, but then explains the truth, "It's really just a defense mechanism since I can control the goo even when it's not a part of my body. I do it without thinking."

Damien seems to take the information in before becoming much more solemn, "Your phobia said it hurts, does it?"

"W-well, not in the sense of getting burned or stabbed, b-but more in it feels terrible like you're sick or probably what a heart attack would feel like," Oz stutters out nervous under Damien's gaze.

"Holy shit, you'd compare that to a fucking heart attack!? And yet, when you have one you just duck into a bathroom or some shit," Damien growls out, "That's fucking horrible!"

"It's f-fine, I'm used to it," Oz says slowly trying to calm Damien down, "I'm sorry you had to see it happen."

"Are you shitting me?! I'm glad I found out now, so you can't just try and hide by yourself away again when another one happens," Damien growls again, "That shit looked fucking scary as hell."

"You don't need to worry about me, I'll be fine," Oz says to Damien still looking at his feet.

"I'll fucking worry about you if I want to worry about you Ozzie," Damien says menencingly.

The both of them fall into silence. It was already getting later and later by the minute, but the both of them weren't paying attention to the time.

"What caused it?" Damien asks suddenly.

"W-what do you mean?" Oz startles, "I said they could be random and-"

"But you said yours are usually caused by your own anxiety," Damien snarls, "What set it off?"

"I-I…" Oz trails off then turns to Damien and speaks softly, "The orc with the axe was the one who cut the back of your neck. He was aiming for your head, b-but I stopped him…"

Damien's eyes widen and his hand goes back to the bandage on his neck unconsciously. He had almost been decapitated.

"I saw the axe swinging and punched him as hard as I could… but I still couldn't get the image of what could have happened out of my head. My anxiety just pushed it over the edge…"

"So it's my fault," Damien growls under his breath.

"What?! No! It's not your fault at all. Dames, I-"

"I was the one who roped you into going even though you said it was a bad idea," Damien says with finality, "I'm sorry. I won't let this happen again because of me."

"Damien, it's really-"

"It is my fault," Damien growls out in anger that's directed at himself, "And I'm gonna find a way to make it up to you."

Damien stands up suddenly and pulls out his phone.

"Where are you going?" 

"To talk to some people and do some things," Damien growls as a portal opens up behind him.

"I-I'm still sorry you had to see that Dames. It's not your fault," Oz says as Damien steps through the portal.

"Pft, of course that's what you think. See you soon Oz," The portal closes behind Damien and he sighs before stepping into the throne room of hell and walking up to his parents, "What do you two know about fearlings?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to be as accurate as possible with the whole panic attack thing, but since they are different to most everyone, I can't say that it's one hundred percent accurate. Well, that and Oz is a fictional species so obviously it's a little exaggerated for him.


	13. New Information

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To make sure he doesn't hurt Oz again, Damien decides to learn more about fearlings from a captain in the demon army.

"Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" Polly shouts as Scott downs his fortieth sports drink in a row, "You're a monster Scott!"

Turns out, Damien really shouldn't have missed a party on Friday because now he's hanging out with Liam, Vera, Polly and two randoes they found out of nowhere. There's Scott, the fucking idiot werewolf that Polly found, and the merperson, Miranda, who Vera said was the princess of somewhere. (More business contacts for Vera) Both of them seem stupid, but Damien barely ever gets to hang out with all his friends at once, excluding Oz, so he resolved to ignore the two and show up anyway.

Turns out, the wolf and fish weren't actually that bad to have around. What Scott lacked in intelligence he made up for in brute strength, and what Miranda lacked in the personality department she made up for with her serfs.

After Damien and Scott finished their last arm wrestle, with Scott winning fifteen times in a row and Damien lighting a few tables on fire, they decided to go somewhere to eat. They're now sitting in an outside café that Liam brought them to.

As Scott starts chugging another drink while Miranda and Polly watch, Liam turns to Damien, "So, why did you decide to ditch the party last Friday? It's very unlike you to miss gatherings that are bound to end with fighting."

Polly hears the conversation and floats over, forgetting about Scott, "Yeah! Where did my party friend go! I missed ending the night with a pyro-show!"

"Damien didn't go to a party?" Vera looked up from her phone and stares at Liam from across the table curiously.

"Nooooo! He, like, left me and Liam to have fun all by ourselves!" Polly says pouting.

"Really?" Vera said curiously, "Why is that Damien?"

"I was busy. Not that it's any of your fucking buisness," Damien growls in Vera's direction.

"Is the thing you happen to be busy with responsible for the lack of buildings burnt the last few months?" Vera asks smoothly.

"What the hell are you talking about?! I'm burning down just as many buildings as usual!" Damien snarls.

"Untrue, you've only burned down four churches and orphanages in the last few months," Vera states, "That's usually your quota for a week."

"Whatever, I don't keep fucking track. I just burn stuff when I'm bored," Damien growls again.

"Hmm… so you haven't been as bored lately for what reason?" Liam jumps into the conversation again while taking a photo of a piece of toast he just ordered.

Damien immediately thinks about all the time he's been spending with Oz lately. Now, most of the time when Damien gets bored, he just heads over to the fearling's house. He's not going to tell his friends that though. They're already going to try and steal Oz when all of them start going to Spooky High together. He doesn't need them trying before then too.

"No fucking reason, just busy in Hell and crap," Damien says annoyed.

"I thought you hated Hell because nothing exciting happens there?" Vera comments already too invested to tag out of the conversation.

"Does it fucking matter?! I just missed one party!" Damien says in frustration.

"~Ooooh I know what it is!" Polly says happily, "Our little pyromaniac got himself a girlfriend and he's embarrassed!"

"Or a boyfriend," Vera supplies.

Immediately Damien's face heats up as his friends unknowingly insinuate him and Oz being a thing. Oz is great and everything, with his witty and bold yet shy personality, and sure he doesn't look bad for someone who lacks most physical features, but Damien would never think of him like that. Damien just properly appreciates his friends actions, words, and looks properly, just like he should. After all, Damien likes Oz. However, the blush still gives him away.

"Oh, so you do have a lover?" Vera chuckles smoothly as Damien's face changes to an even darker shade of red.

"~Aww! You were too embarrassed to tell us weren't you!" Polly teases, "I have so many questions Damien! Like, are they cute? Who are they? How long have you been together? Have you fu-"

Having enough of Polly's personal questioning Damien snaps, "I AM NOT DATING ANYONE! WE'RE JUST FUCKING FRIENDS!"

"There it is," Liam sighs.

"You just told us you were hanging out with someone," Vera says arrogantly.

"Yeah! We get a new friend in the group!" Polly cheers, "I hope they like alcohol and drugs!"

"There's no fucking way I'm letting you meet them," Damien scowls, "You'll just fucking scare them away."

"If they stuck around for you, I bet we won't scare them off," Liam takes a jab at Damien.

"Yeah!" Polly pouts, "That's no fair at all! You've just gotta let us meet them!"

"You'll meet em' as soon as Spooky High starts, but I'm not giving you any fucking clues until then," Damien crosses his arms.

"I bet fifteen bucks it's a girl," Polly says once everyone realizes Damien won't say more.

"Betting?" Vera says with an unnerving smile, "I'm in. Twenty for a boy. When school starts we bet double on who it is specifically."

"I'm in," Liam says neutrally, "I bet thirty on them not having a gender at all."

Scott walks up to the four pouting with Miranda close behind, "What are you doing Polly? Did I not drink enough energy drinks?" 

"Don't worry Scott, you downed enough, I just had to come over here to bet about Damien's girlfriend," Polly smiles at Scott while ignoring Damien's cursing, "You want to make a bet too buddy?"

Scott smiles as big as possible, showing off his sizable canines, "Since they're together, I bet all my money that they love each other!"

"Scott, they're not actually dating," Liam corrects the werewolf.

"Too late," Vera says, writing something on a piece of paper, "A bet's a bet. You want to put anything in the betting pool Miranda?"

"Hmm? Although I do not usually like betting," Miranda says tilting her head, "I'll bet serf #3's livelihood on Damien's friend being made up."

"Interesting, interesting," Vera says, still writing.

"But if Damien's girlfriend doesn't exist how can they love each other," Scott asks curiously.

"I ALREADY SAID I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND!" Damien shouts while setting a nearby table on fire.

"Oh… sorry Damien," Scott says looking ashamed and sad, "I didn't mean to offend you. I'm sure your boyfriend is fantastic."

As Polly, Liam, and Vera start laughing, Damien flips a nearby table then flips his friends… off.

"YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT!? I DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOUR SHIT!" Damien yells still flipping his friends off as he walks away, "I'M GOING BACK TO HELL CAUSE PEOPLE RESPECT ME THERE!"

"You'll need your phone for that!" Polly shouts at Damien and points to his phone on the table.

Damien stops walking away, and grumpily speeds back over to the cafe tables where his friends are sitting, "Thanks Polly…"

Damien grabs his phone and summons a portal back home, leaving his friends in shocked silence after he steps through.

"D-did he just thank you?" Liam asks nervously.

"Did he just thank me?" Polly looks confused.

"Damien did thank Polly," Scott supplies.

"What does it mean?" Liam turns to Vera.

"It means I'm even more excited to meet this 'friend' of Damien's," Vera says with a chilling tone.

\----------------------In Hell--------------------

"Fucking bastards, betting on my fucking personal life, I wanna punch their damn lights out…" Damien grumbles while blushing all the way through the castle.

With a loud bang, Damien bursts into the throne room and walks up to his fathers. 

"You're here early," Stan LaVey says with an underlying question.

"My friends were being fucking assholes and betting on my damn personal life," Damien replies with a snarl, "So I fucking left."

"Betting on your personal life?" Lucien LaVay says questioningly.

Damien hesitates before responding gruffly, "...they figured out I had a new friend and started betting on who they are."

"You're talking about Oz right?" Stan inquires.

"Yeah," Damien says, much quieter.

The throne room stays quiet for a minute before Lucien speaks, "What you're doing is really thoughtful son, I'm sure Oz appreciates it. Trying to learn more is a good thing."

"What fucking ever," Damien walks up beside the thrones and leans against the wall, blush finally receding, "When does the fucker get here?"

"The demon captain will be arriving soon," Stan answers patiently.

After the jarring experience of causing Oz's panic attack, Damien decided to find out as much as he could about fearlings for future reference. Luckily, with fearlings being a type of lower level demon, Damien could just ask his fathers for information. If he was anyone else it would be almost impossible to learn anything, with Hell keeping most of its inhabitants a secret and crap. Unluckily, Lucien and Stan LaVey barely knew about fearlings other than their use in warfare.

Still wanting to learn more and make it up to Oz, Damien asked his fathers if there was another way to learn about fearlings first hand. To which his fathers mentioned a fear demon captain under their command that would be willing to give Damien a tour of his domain, along with knowledge. Despite hating the idea of having to listen to some old dickwad talk about fucking history, Damien said yes so he could stay friends with Oz without feeling bad everytime they meet.

It's been horrible, every time they hang out, all Damien can think about is how he inadvertently hurt Oz. However Damien couldn't just leave Oz hanging. It's obvious the idiot thinks Damien's scared of him, and the only way to prove he isn't is to keep hanging out with him.

Damien turns his attention to the throne room door and sighs. Once he's sure he won't hurt Oz again Damien won't be so on edge. 

That's one thing most people have wrong about Damien LaVey. They think he doesn't care about anyone, but he does. It's just that Damien's parents and friends are the only ones on that list. Damien is a raging fiery lunatic normally, so may god help the person who hurts the people he cares about. Even if it's himself.

****

**_Bang!_ **

  
  


A cloaked figure knocks the throne room doors open, "My dearest prince! My dearest kings! I, your shadow captain, have arrived."

As he gets closer, Damien can get a better look at the shadow demon. He looked a lot like Damien except for him having black skin and curled goat horns. Very much unlike how Damien thought he'd look.

"Hello Captain, I hope travel treated you well," King Lucien says jovially.

"Well of course dear Lucien, the void never has any traffic!" The Captain says over cheerfully, "But that's unimportant, what is it you called me here for your majesties?"

Damien already dislikes the guy.

"As you know, our son has taken an interest into your domain," King Stan says diplomatically, "With him taking over the kingdom one day, we wished to entrust you with showing him around your given place in hell."

"Of course my king! I would be happy to show him around!" The Captain says smiling from under his hood.

"Excellent! When would you be willing to-"

"Now's as good as time as any," The captain interrupts King Stan then immediately backtracks, "Oh, my highness, I apologize for interrupting you."

"Fucking kiss up," Damien murmurs under his breath.

"It's fine Captain," King Lucien says, still smiling, "We are very appreciative you are willing to give our son such insight into your region."

"Of course," The Captain kneels then stands up just as quickly, "Now, Prince Damien, how about we be on our way!?"

"Yeah sure," Damien walks towards the Captain while waving goodbye to his parents, "How the fuck do we get there?"

The Captain awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, "Well, I planned on traveling back home through the void but since you're coming with me it's probably a bad idea to try and travel through the shadows. It can take a couple of jumps to get back to my domain and traveling through shadows continuously can really mess up someone."

"You can't just go straight there?" Damien's parents told him that the Captain's domain was only a city away. In their motorcycle chase, Oz had teleported Damien, him, and the motorcycle twice that distance.

"Oh no, no, no. A shadow demon can travel a good distance but as far as my kingdom would be almost impossible in one go."

"What about fearlings?" 

"Well, I guess if they were powerful enough it would be plausible," The Captain says thoughtfully.

"How powerful?" Damien never really considered the idea that Oz was some kind super powerful being or some crap.

"Well… not powerful, but more like them being trained very well," The Captain says thoughtfully, "Well anyways I'm sure we can find a way back-"

"Don't worry about the void traveling thing, let's just go," Damien cuts off the Captain.

"Prince Damien, I promise you that-"

The Captain attempts to protest, but Damien cuts him off again, "Just stop fucking around and teleport us already."

"Prince, I- you know what? Sure," The Captain smirks and grabs Damien's arm.

Already used to the song and dance, Damien steps back into his own shadow before the Captain pushes him. Blackness folds around Damien and he's back in the familiar void that Oz drags him through all the time. Oz had been right about Damien eventually getting used to the instant traveling back to back so Damien's stomach barely notices the shift when he's back in reality again.

"Now prince, I understand how uncomfortable shadow hopping is so if you would like to switch to a normal form of transportation-" The shadow Captain stops talking when Damien rolls his eyes and gestures for him to finish his speech, "What?! Prince did you not feel the jump?"

"That shit was fucking weak as hell. Was it supposed to mess me up or something?"

"O-of course not, the first jump is always the easiest. The following ones are the hard ones," The Captain sputters smiling.

"Is there anything I call you other than just Captain?" Damien says getting tired of having nothing to call the old dipshit.

"Sorry prince, I don't have a name!" Before Damien can continue questioning the Captain he's back in the void again before getting popped back into reality again, "I prefer just being called Captain anyways."

"Did you have to jump shadows between sentences?" Damien says just as unaffected as before.

"Um…" The Captain is staring at Damien in growing confusion before he realized he asked a question, "No! Sorry about that, I'm just used to continuously traveling once I have a destination."

Yeah right. Damien bets the guy just wanted to prove his point about continuously traveling messing with Damien. He just didn't account for Damien already being used to it. 

"Well, if that's what you usually do then go ahead," Damien growls with a smirk.

"Prince Damien! I really don't think-" 

Damien cuts him off again, "We don't have all day to get there Captain. Hurry up!"

With that, Damien's pulled inside the void then pushed out instantaneously over and over again. Damien goes through it all relaxed and barely affected. Nobody could beat Damien's first chain of shadow jumps at the bank with Oz. That was the  _ worst _ . All of a sudden the pulling and pushing stops, and Damien is standing in another throne room.

"Well, that definitely sped things up," Damien said neutrally.

"Prince! Are you alright?! No pain or blood or vomiting?!" Captain says worriedly while looking the unphased Damien up and down.

"Yeah. I'm fucking fine," Damien puts his hands into the pockets of his jacket, "Are we going to do this fucking tour crap or what?"

The Captain's eyes widen further and Damien scowls impatiently at the gobsmacked shadow demon. A shadow figure looking very familiar to Oz walks into the room.

Damien expected a telepathic voice from the shadow. What Damien did not expect was the shadow's face to split open where a mouth should be and start talking.

"Hello Captain, have you finished your meeting with the kings?"

The Captain recovers from his stupor and turns to the shadow person, "Oh, fearling. Yes, I finished my meeting, go tell the others I'll be busy the next few hours."

Hours?! God, this fucking tour was going to take hours?!

"Yes sir," The fearling's mouth seemed to sew itself closed again as it walked off.

"That was a fearling?" 

Damien could see the resemblance to Oz, but that shadow seemed so much more... lifeless. Like, an actual shadow rather than a person.

"Oh, yes," Captain says, "They're all around the place. Sorry in advance, they just pop out of shadows sometimes to inform me of things. They really have no manners around guests."

"They just pop up?" Now that sounds like Ozzie.

"All the time! When I originally trained them I apparently didn't establish a good differential between the important information and the useless stuff!" Captain then laughed as if he just told a hilarious joke.

"Trained?" Damien asks quickly.

"Fearlings are shadows that are brought to life using dark magic from shadow demons. They make perfect servants, but you do have to train them nonstop for it to work. They don't eat, sleep, get sick, or anything else," Captain explains enthusiastically, "They can rush through shadows, take any shape they want, and even form bonds. They're very useful."

"What do you mean?" Damien says surprised.

"They don't need anything at all. As long as the host that summons them is alive they won't disappear," Captain says with a smile, "Sadly, they can still be killed, but that's to be expected from such a weak summoned demon."

Did Oz lie about eating fear? No, Oz is way to fucking anxious to lie well when pushed into a corner.

Damien stares at Captain before thinking of more questions to ask, "Can they shadow jump-"

"Fearling don't shadow jump Prince," Captain interrupts, "They can travel through shadows. The difference is that I can bring people with me when I enter shadows. They cannot."

"They can't fucking bring people with them?! There's got to be some way they could!" Damien knows Oz couldn't lie about that.

"Woah, calm down," Captain says waving his hands, "There's no way a fearling could travel with people. They don't even have enough mass to pull someone into the void. They could never drag someone through it."

Millions of different conclusions flash through Damien's mind all at once. Has Oz been lying to him? No most of what Oz said can be proven true. Is Oz actually a shadow demon? No, Captain said he couldn't shadow jump like Oz, plus they don't look similar at all! All of the evidence points to the fact that Oz can't be a fearling, but if he isn't a fearling, what is he. Every conclusion Damien tries to come to is a deadend. Does Oz even know that he's not a fearling? Damien needs answers.

"I'm fucking leaving," Damien finally says pulling out his phone for a portal.

"What?! We haven't even started the tour yet?! Did I offend you somehow Prince?! I promise-" 

"Shut the fuck up prick, I've got something a million times more important than this to do right now," Without anymore conversation Damien steps through his newly summoned portal directly into Oz's living room.

"Hello Dames!" Oz says happily from the doorway into the kitchen once he spots Damien, "What's up? You usually text me before you show up randomly, so you don't interrupt me hanging out with Vicky, Brian, and Amira?"

"We need to talk Oz," Damien says with finality, "It's important." 


	14. The Calm before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damien comes to Oz with his new information only for Oz to lie.

Oz was in the kitchen texting Vicky, Amira, and Brian about getting pizza later and hanging out, when he heard the familiar sound of one Damien's portal opening in the living room. 

"Hello Dames!" Oz shadow jumps to the kitchen doorway to greet his friend, "What's up? You usually text me before you show up randomly, so you don't interrupt me hanging out with Vicky, Brian, and Amira?"

"We need to talk Oz," Damien says with finality, "It's important."

Immediately Oz is tense, if Damien says something is important then that means it's serious. Oz quickly rushes out from the kitchen and into the living room.

"What happened Damien?"

Oz steps closer and Damien tenses, but he also puts his hand on the back of his neck awkwardly. It was strange for Oz not to be able to get a read on Damien's emotions. He's usually so straight forward that Oz would have to blatantly ignore his tells to misunderstand him. For example, as much as Oz's anxiety is a bitch, Oz can tell his own panic attack didn't affect Damien other than making him guilty, much to Oz's relief. Don't get him wrong, Oz hates the idea of Damien feeling guilty over something he couldn't control, but Oz prefers guilt over fear any day.

"...Ozzie. Look, are you- Do you know if- you see I found out-" After multiple false starts Damien growls in frustration, "Uh! How the fuck am I supposed to ask you this!?"

"If you want to ask me something, just say it outright," Oz says, trying to be helpful.

"It's not just something you can fucking-" Damien growl in frustration and fire appears in his hands before going out again, "As a fearling what can you do Oz?"

"Um...I can shadow hop, eat people's fear, see in the dark, and manifest my phobias," Oz is telling the truth. He's just also omitting information, "Why do you ask? I've already shown you most of that."

"Fucking dammit. Oz, are you sure you're a fucking fearling?!" Damien says louder than he means to.

If Oz had a heart it would have skipped a beat, "Y-yes, why are you asking? Didn't I already tell you that?"

"Is that your parents or whatever told you?" Damien asks again more calmly.

"I… don't have parents Damien," Oz says cautiously wondering where the demon is going with this.

"You- don't have FUCKING PARENTS!" Damien shouts.

"No?" Oz says even more confused by the sudden topic change.

"IT MAKES SO MUCH FUCKING SENSE NOW!" Damien continues shouting in what Oz now realizes is triumph.

"Umm… What makes sense?" Oz really doesn't like where this is going.

"OZZIE!" Damien seemingly forces himself to calm down and his voice grows soft as if delivering bad news, "You're not a fearling. You can't be."

Oz freezes in place and starts counting his phobias immediately to calm down and think. What did he do that gave it away? There's almost nothing about fearlings anywhere because of their lower status. Oz made sure of that before he started claiming to be one, so what did he do to give himself away? Oz desperately tries to recount Damien's last few visits to find what tipped Damien off.

"W-w-what?" Oz stutters out in fake confusion but real surprise, "I'm a fearling Damien. What would make you think I'm not?!"

"Ozzie," Damien continues with the same demeanor as before as he grabs Oz's shoulders firmly, "After what happened last week, I decided I wanted to know more so that if something like that ever happens again I would know what to do. My dads got me on a tour to meet a shadow demon who has a castle full of fearlings."

Of course, how could Oz forget that Damien is the prince of Hell? He's probably one of the few people in the universe who has direct access to any information on fearlings. How could Oz be so damn oblivious?!

"Fearlings are just shadows that can be told what to do. They can't do any of the crazy crap you do. They can't bring people into shadows with them, they don't eat fear, and they can't do your fucking telepathic talking thing," Damien continues without noticing Oz's internal struggle.

The more Damien continues the more Oz's feelings mix. It's heartwarming to know that Damien went so far out of his own way to make sure he could take care of Oz, but it also fills him with dread knowing that he might have to tell Damien the truth and risk the demon hating him.

"The only thing the fucking fearlings can do that you can't is change their forms!" Damien turns to Oz and takes a breath, "You're not a fearling Ozzie. I don't know what the hell you are but it's not a fearling!"

"You mean I-I'm not a fearling?!" Oz says panicking at Damien hitting the nail on the head.

"Ozzie calm the fuck down!" Damien shakes Oz a little from where he's still holding his shoulders, "I thought you might know something about it, but you obviously don't. That's fine, okay? I'll help you figure this out."

Oz considers his options and decides the only way to keep Damien from forcing Oz to tell him the truth is to play along.

"You'll really help me figure this out Dames?"

Oz hates himself. Oz hates himself more with every single word that comes to his head. He's lying to someone he calls his friend. How can he even call Damien his friend when all he does is lie so he won't hate him, when Oz knows well enough that he doesn't deserve this. None of it. Oz doesn't deserve the nice house and things. He doesn't deserve such caring and kind friends. Oz doesn't deserve any of it, but he'll still lie to keep it all because Oz has always, from the very beginning of his existence, been greedy and selfish. He was created to be that way. He wasn't created to live like this.

"Of course fucker! You might not fucking think so but I owe you one after what happened last week, and Vera's pounded it into my head to repay debts," Oz wants to protest about last week being Damien's fault, but he cuts him off, "Plus, we're fucking friends Ozzie. I'm not going to leave you hanging after I drop such a damn truth bomb on you. Actually that was some type of honesty nuke I dropped."

Oz nods despondently at Damien's statements. Maybe Damien would just forget about all this eventually and everything can go back to normal. If the world had just a shred of luck with Oz's name on it, he hopes now is the time it gets cashed in.

"I'm going to head back to Hell right now and interrogate every demon there! They might be some old ass fuckers, but they do know some crap. Don't worry Oz we'll figure this out." 

Damien pulls his phone out to summon a portal and Oz wants to pass out in relief. He was in the clear. Oz's life from this point on is going to be twice as stressful and his anxiety is going to be pushing him around every waking moment from here on out, but Damien will stay his friend and that's all that-

**SQUEAK**!

Betrayal. That's all Oz can think about as three phobias appear on both of his shoulders squeaking wildly at Damien, who was just about to leave. Betrayal. Absolute, and utter, betrayal.

"What's going on with the fucking ink worms?" Damien puts his phone back into his pocket.

"N-nothing! They're just shocked?! Yeah, they're super shocked I'm not a fearling!" Oz desperately tries to quiet his phobias as they squeak and shake their heads frantically.

Damien squints at the phobias and frowns a little, "They don't seem to agree with you on that Oz."

"N-no, they're just being annoying!" Despite Oz's efforts to stop the phobias they continue shaking their head in Damien's direction.

"Are you fucking lying to me?" Damien takes a step towards Oz.

"N-no," The phobias undermine Oz by nodding at Damien.

"Oz," Damie grows serious all of a sudden, "What the fuck are you lying about?"

"R-really nothing!" The phobias start shaking their heads again, "The p-phobias are just being rude and trying-"

"You fucking liar," Damien grabs Oz by the front of his shirt, "What the hell are those phobias trying to tell me?!"

"I don't..."

What does it matter? Anything Oz says, the phobias will just undermine him on. Why his own phobias want to ruin Oz's life, he will never know, but right now Oz has been backed into a corner. Looks like he'll just have to hope Damien might still consider him a friend after this.

"P-please don't hate me," Even to himself, Oz's voice sounded broken in defeat.

The sudden change of attitude stuns Damien and he retracts his hand, "What the fuck are you talking about?!"

"If I tell you what I lied about, it's only on one condition. That you at least not hate me when I finish telling you," Oz says sadly. It would at least be a bit bearable if Oz knew Damien didn't hate him once he leaves.

"I don't know what the fuck you're hiding Oz, but I sure as hell won't fucking hate you for it," Damien states matter-of-factly.

The phobias on Oz's shoulders willingly disappear and he sighs, "You might regret saying that, but here goes nothing."

It looks like Oz will have to cancel pizza with Brian, Amira, and Vicky. This is a long story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter for the over 6,000 word banger coming out day after tomarrow. Are you ready for an origin story?


	15. Origin Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's an origin story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my interpretation and literally nothing in this chapter is actually canon! So take it with a grain of salt.

\-----------------The beginning---------------

It all started with nothing. Oz just appeared in an endless expanse of nothing. There was no pristine hospital room, doctors, or even a mother at Oz's birth. He didn't even have someone to give him a name. However, there was one person at Oz's birth that very few people could say had been at there's, God.

Fear comes with every living thing that's ever existed, so it only seems right that the incarnation of fear was born _with_ existence. While God creates the universe piece by piece, Oz stands witness as a newborn entity in the universe. Not to say he was a child, oh no, Oz was born as a shapeless entity with a grown mind. Oz was also born with an insatiable hunger for an emotion that hadn't even been created yet.

\----------------------Phobias----------------------

The moment the first living thing was created, Oz was set. It didn't matter if it was in the air, on the land, or in the water, Oz hunted it. Primal fear was the only food he had. Oz was happy with an existence spent eating and hunting, that was his purpose.

Then, the first humans and monsters were created. At first, Oz dismissed them as nothing more than larger sources of fear, but as both races developed, their fears did too. Their existence created a terror so much more profound than just primal fear. Suddenly Oz's palette went from novice to a coneseure of terror, and with more fears, eventually came phobias.

Oz was toying with a man who got lost in a cave, when an inky creature appeared out of nowhere and started squeaking on Oz's shoulder.

Oz is surprised by the weird looking thing but still opens his toothy maw to growl at the creature and get it to run off. However, despite Oz's hostility, the creature just looked at him as if begging for something. 

Of course this is confusing to Oz. All creatures are usually scared of him and run the moment he looks in their general direction. Well, except for felines, but this did not look like a one.

Oz focused his mind on the creature to really scare it away, but instead of feeling a mind, Oz felt a connection to… himself? It was strange and disconcerting trying to touch this thing's mind. 

The tiny creature looks away from Oz and seems to giggle as the man in the cave stumbled deeper into the darkness. Oz doesn't know if the creature can understand complex language, but Oz tries to communicate with the creature anyways. Instead of opening his mouth to growl, Oz opens his mouth to try and speak. After using millions of different voices to terrorize humans and monsters alike, Oz knows most languages, even if his speaking is rough at best. 

" ~~**W** _h_ _A_ **T,** _a_~~ ~~R _e_ y _O_ **u** ?" ~~

The tiny creature looks away from the man stumbling in the darkness to make eye contact with Oz. The tiny creature doesn't speak, but Oz can feel it's thoughts somehow. It doesn't know what it is, but it wants to help him feed.

Oz thinks about the effects of letting the random creature run free, and finds that he doesn't care about the consequences much. As in, not at all. Oz feels the connection between him and the creature and tries to break it to release it. Under a bit of pressure the tiny creature lets the bind break, but instead of releasing it, the creature melts into Oz's body.

Curiously, Oz focuses on bringing the connection back together. The inkling reforms on Oz's shoulder with a facial expression similar to a pout. Oz focuses on the connection again, but instead of breaking it, he lengthens it. He grabs the connection and stretches it out as far as he can.

The tiny black creature grows larger and larger until it's about the size of a lion. It grows black inky teeth and smiles at Oz before rushing into the tunnels below. Oz watches in shock as the black creature toys with the lighting in the cave making the man inside start to cry out. The creature would create a light deeper in the tunnel system then take it away right before the man could reach it, making the man even more desperate when another light would appear.

Oz has an idea about what the creature is after watching it for a while, but he's not certain. To prove his theory Oz reaches into the caveman's mind. Just as Oz expected, a fear of the dark. That's what the creature is. Oz is the embodiment of fear, and that creature represents a single fear, the fear of the dark. A phobia one might say.

The man is absolutely terrified by the phobia, and Oz takes his fear in savagely. Eventually, after three days of wandering the tunnels aimlessly, the man keels over from dehydration and the creature returns to Oz happily.

" ~~_a_ **R** e ~~~~yOu T _h_ **E** f **e** _A_ r **O** _f_ ** _t_** H _e dA_ ** _R_** k?" ~~ Oz questions loudly, letting his voice echo down the tunnels.

As the creature shrinks and settles back on Oz's shoulder it seems to be thinking about his words. The tiny inkling nods and Oz can feel it's approval in his own mind. It thinks that idea fits the purpose of its existence.

" ~~ **A** _r_ e T _hE_ ** _r_** ** _e_** _mO_ **r** _E of_ ** _Y_** _O_ u?"~~ A loud clicking noise is heard as Oz's teeth clash together.

Oz can feel the phobia's unknowing response. Intrigued enough, Oz decides to spend the next few decades looking. These phobias do seem useful.

\-----------------Losing Control ------------------

After uncovering over eight thousand different phobias to add to Oz's arsonal. Oz decided to take a break. Right now he's jumping between Asia and the 4th circle of Hell. In the mortal realm Oz is following Gengis Khan to eat the leftover fear from his visits and a domain war is going on in the 4th circle so Oz is practically feasting. 

Preferably Oz would just stay in the 4th circle and eat, but the thousands of demon's fearful thoughts are apt to drive Oz insane. Their intruding minds are so different from his many phobias being inside his brain.

So, as much as Oz hates to waste all the good fear that disappears when he jumps back to the mortal realm. It's necessary to not… well, Oz doesn't know what would happen if he got overloaded with thoughts.

Oz jumps from Asia back to the hellscape of the 4th circle. His mind is assaulted by varied horrified thoughts and Oz focuses on searching through the thoughts to find someone genuinely terrified. One demon stands out and Oz jumps into their shadow. 

The person so terrified, is a yellow demon that's stuck in a trench with two other monsters. Oz peers into the yellow one's head and wants to chuckle. A fear of blood on the battlefield? Who let this soldier in the army?

Oz reaches into the yellow demon's mind and with a bit of focus, releases Hemophobia. Oz can already feel the phobia's excitement as deadly cuts appear on the demon's friends. Their blood starts moving towards the fearful yellow one and he lets out a blood curdling screech of terror that gives their location away. The other two demons that can't see the hallucination, start crying for their comrade to stop screaming. 

Oz touches all of them one by one from the shadows. All three go limp in the trench as more soldiers come to investigate the sounds. All the soldiers can see is a cloud of black mist before Oz is gone again, leaving the crying forms of three monsters in his wake.

Oz hops around the battlefield constantly, not caring what side his victims are on, but rather how much fear they carry. Never stopping for a moment, Oz consumes as much fear as possible. That is, before everything goes wrong.

Oz appears behind the general of one side of the army and smiles. This man didn't have any phobias that Oz could easily take advantage of, but he was fearful and even better, traumatized. Old war generals always are.

"We're losing General" A lower demon rushes into the tent and interrupts Oz's plan.

Oz fades back into the shadows before anyone can spot him and waits. Hopefully this exchange will be over before Oz has to pop off the battlefield and back to the mortal realm.

"I know that!" The demon general growls.

"What should we do?! We can't retreat, and four of our best squads just passed out in the trenches!"

"Passed out?" The general asks.

"Yes, just unconscious and begging for mercy in their sleep."

"Don't fucking exaggurate luintenent!"

"I'M NOT GENERAL! They were begging for their life, even passed out," The demon lieutenant looks close to a breakdown, "What do we do?! We need orders!"

"Send the mages out to cast sensory overload," The demon general says gruffly. 

"But that enhances the senses until the victim can't do anything from the backlash. Not all of our soldiers were trained to fight under the effects of that-"

"FOLLOW ORDERS LIEUTENANT! THIS IS A WAR! WE HAVE TO MAKE SACRIFICES!" The general yells at the lower demon and he rushes out of the room assumingly to follow orders.

Taking his chance, Oz creeps out of the shadows and grabs the general by the shoulders, "GAH!"

Reaching into his mind Oz makes him relive every terrible moment in his life again. Oz watches from the side lines as the general kills hundreds of people with his own hands, as he murders a already surrendered soldier, as he watches his best friend burn to death in a flaming trench, and to top off the hallucinations Oz shows the general his worst nightmare. The general stands in front of a burning building watching as everything he loves turns to ashes. 

Oz is enjoying the show when there's a sudden assault on his mind. Oz had near perfect vision and other senses before, but now everything seems to zoom in and stay blurry at the same time. Everything becomes sharp and dull as every fearful thought on the battlefield becomes less of a whisper and more of a shout in his mind. All Oz's phobias also start freaking out at the massive influx of… well, everything.

Oz falls to his knees and lets out his own blood curdling cry at the pain in his head. Except unlike the earlier soldier, this cry is heard across all nine circles of hell. 

" ~~Ǵ̷ͅ ̵͓̃͜A̵̳̋̆ ̵̢̘͚Ȁ̴̩ ̴͓̤̝̀A̸̻̼̋ ̶̨͓͎̌̊̈Ả̷̼̩ ̶̣̋͐̕À̸̰̓ ̶͈͖͒͗Ä̷̫͕̞̉ ̶͎̓Ą̶̋̈͑Á̴̗̑ ̸̹͍͆A̴̳̭̔a̸̭͔̾͗̉ ̸͎́͆â̷̘͋̕ ̵̫͇̖̓͂a̶̱͐â̸͉̘̪̍ ̶̢̬̋̈́̐a̷̡̺̘͂ ̵̨̛̛a̶̜͂͆ ̵̻̐á̷͈̮̈́͝ ̵̣͊a̷͚͆̆ ̸͚͓̳̇̈́h̴̜͗!̶̛̣̔̚"̶͈̜́̿~~

Almost all of the soldiers turned towards the noise to be met with demise. Geysers of blood erupt from the ground and the already dark sky turns pitch black. Huge black monsters unlike the world had ever seen erupt from the shadows and thousands of them begin killing. Above the chaos rises an entity of absolute destruction that sends anyone that looks at it to the brink of insanity.

To this day, nobody knows what happened during that battle. There was no one to say. The only thing proving there even was a battle is the bloody pools and pile of corpses.

After that incident, Oz banned himself from Hell. Even if he did get enough fear to last him a decade, Oz is a fan of subtlety and being in control of his own body.

\---------------------Lonely?----------------------

Oz frowns as he sits in a tree above a lost group of children in the forest. Why do humans and monsters just let their children run free? Oz hasn't acted yet because as much as he would love to get every last drop of fear out of these kids, he knows that the town they live in will be sending a search party out soon.

Children's fear is almost identical to primal fear anyways. Primal terror makes him more hungry rather than full, so he avoids it. He just can't stomach it anymore. Oz is patient enough to wait for someone older to enter his domain anyways.

After about four hours, the sun starts to set and the five children begin to panic. They have some type of argument and three split from the group to try and find a way out of the woods. The other two decide to stay in place and wait in the hopes of someone finding them. Oz thinks it was a terrible idea to split up, but who is he to judge.

After a moment of consideration Oz releases Nyctophobia (fear of dark) to watch over the two children staying put and rushes after the other three. If they die by falling or get eaten, the search party will find their bodies and then leave the forest before Oz can have his fun. 

Oz continues trailing the children through the woods when a rustling in bushes catches his attention. In said bush, is a werewolf that is also watching the children. Oz finds it unusual for a werewolf to purposely hunt kids… unless. Oz looks up at the darkening sky and curses. Of course it's a full moon. The werewolf growls and that finally catches the three kids attention. 

"I-is somebody t-there?" One of the children asks, shaking like a leaf. 

Oz can tell they boy's terrified. The werewolf seems to sense the same thing and steps out of the bushes to lunge at one of the children. The wolf's claws would have pierced the child's chest and killed him instantly if two things didn't cross Oz's mind at the same time. One, these children didn't need to die when they could be food for Oz later on in life, and two, Oz has never had **fun** with a werewolf before. 

Instead of meeting flesh, the werewolf's claws catch in Oz's humanoid black matter body. The children were already screaming bloody murder at them and that only fueled Oz's hunger more.

" ~~ **w** H _a_ ** _T_** d **O** Y _O_ u **_t_** _h_ I **N** _k y_ O **u** _r_ D ** _O_** _i_ n **g** _?_ **T** Ha _T_ ' _s_ M ** _y_** **P** _RE_~~ ** _ ~~Y~~ ,"_** A gruesome squelching sound underlies Oz's words as his large tongues move out of the way for him to talk. 

The werewolf yanks it's curved claws out of Oz's chest. The werewolf seems undeterred from Oz's presence and takes another step closer. Oz shakes his head in disappointment, he won't have enough time to have fun with the werewolf if it injures itself on Oz's body. Plus, getting clawed at in the chest hurts, so he might be a little annoyed.

Before the werewolf decides to do something stupid Oz reaches into it's mind and to Oz's pleasure the werewolf had an irrational fear of cats. It's ironic, but Oz releases Ailurophobia anyways. A crowd of black matter cats are surrounding Oz in seconds. The werewolf takes one look at the clutter of cats and his tale ducks between his legs. 

Oz lets out a terrible hacking squeaking sound that to him, is a chuckle, and gestures for Ailurophobia to have fun. The cats all converge on the poor werewolf and terrified howls are heard throughout the forest as they all disappear into the darkness.

With a huff Oz is about to return to the shadows and follow the chase when a childish voice calls out to him.

"Woah, mister! That was sooo cool!" In surprise, Oz turns around to see one of three children rushing towards him happily, "You totally saved us from that werewolf!"

Oz looks down at the boy to realize he missed something about the child earlier. His eyes were a dark black and glowing, which means this child is a monster? Oz looks to the other two children to see if they are too, but is surprised to find no abnormal features. The others are definitely humans. 

" ~~y~~ ~~ **O** _u'_ _R_ e a mO **N** _st_ eR?" ~~ Oz tilts his humanoid head and his voice distorts.

"Hmm? You didn't know? I'm a shapeshifter," The small child looks at Oz as if he's stupid.

Oz tilts his head again and then gestures towards the humans, " ~~a **R** _En'_ **T** tH _e_ **y h** U _ma_ **n**~~ ~~s~~?"

Oz could care less about the difference between humans and monsters, but he's not used to them intermingling. If they started mixing, Oz might need to watch out for magic a lot more when he's hunting groups of humans.

The changeling boy has a look of dawning realization then goes defensive, "You said we're your prey! You were trying to hunt my human friends, weren't you?! Well, you can't hurt them!"

Oz ignores the fearful squeaks from the humans behind the shapeshifter and frowns, " ~~w **H** ** _A_**~~ ~~t aB _ou_ t tH **e O** _t_ _h_ ** _er_ ** _t_ wo D _e_ ** _e_** _Pe_ _r_ **I** _n th_ **e WO** odS?" ~~

"You hurt Angela and Mark!? They just wanted to stay put," The boy yells angrily, assuming that Oz just threatened his friends, "You fucking bastard! I'll kill you!"

Confused by the boy's sudden accusation, Oz checks in on Nyctophobia to see if he accidentally hurt the two children. Oz frowns when all he sees is his phobia provided the two children with a light source while they pet it.

~~" **T** _hE_ **y a** rE N _O_ t _i_ n **tR** oUb _l_ e. **W** Hat aRe y _ou t_ ** _A_** _Lk_ **in** g aBo~~ ** ~~ut~~?** " Oz asks curiously, " ~~I'~~ ~~ **M t** aki **ng C** _aRe oF_ **_t_** _H_ **e** **m."** ~~

"You're what?" The boy says confused.

" ~~I' **M** GiV _in_ **g** th **E** _m_ _sAnctUary_ ~~ ~~,~~ " Oz tilts his head towards the child.

"Why did you say we're your prey then?!" The child says accusingly.

~~"yO **u A** Re L _O_ s~~ ** ~~T~~ ,"** Oz explains to the panicked children, ~~"~~ ~~i W **aS** w _a_ ** _i_** _Ti_ _ng f_ Or th _e_ S **eA** r _ch P_ ** _aRT_** _y to S_ ** _hO_** _w U_ _p lo_ ** _oK_** _in_ g For Y **Ou.** "~~

"R-really? You just wanted to help us get home?" One of the humans falls to her knees and starts crying, "Y-you're not going to eat us?!"

Oz is half tempted to correct the child, but something deep inside him says that would only make the children more upset. 

Oz watches as both the monster and another human boy run towards the fallen girl. Oz has seen people cry before, but he's never felt like this. Maybe it was because Oz didn't mean to cause this crying. 

Oz thinks about how the two children farther in the woods pet Nyctophobia and summons Cynophobia. (The fear of dogs) With a bit of focus, the phobia turns into a small puppy and rushes over to the little girl. Her eyes light up and she reaches for the shadow dog. 

"Wait! Julia, we don't-" The shapeshifter attempts to stop the girl from reaching out to the puppy, but the phobia is already in her arms squirming.

The girl stops crying and chuckles as the phobia nuzzles her neck and whines. Oz's shoulders untense as the girl stops sobbing and the ache in his chest disappears.

~~" **D** _o_ ** _yO_** _u_ _n_ ** _E_** **e** _d H_ ** _e_** _L_ p g **e** ** _t_** **t** iNg O **u** T of T **H** e W **o** Od _s?"_ ~~

There was no search party, and he could care less about what happens to these kids. However, despite that, Oz still asked. It just felt right in the moment. Oz immediately wonders if he said the wrong thing however, when all three of the children seem to glare at him.

"Don't lie to them! We're too far into the woods to get back! I know this forest!" The monster child shouts, "That's why we were walking to a cave to spend the night. The others refused to follow because they were scared. Don't try and fool us!" 

This is Oz's out. He could pretend that he was lying and just disappear into the woods and wait for the search party. That's not what he does.

" ~~**I** C **a** ** _n_** **s** Ti _l_ l tA **k** e y **o** **U ho** m _e,_ If Y **ou** **_w_** _ou_ l _d_ Lik ** _e M_** _e t_ **O** _. DI_ ** _s_** _T_ an **c** e doEs **n'** _t mA_ ** _t_** _tE_ r To **m** E." ~~

The children look at each other and the shapeshifter eyes Oz warily, "You could get my friends home right now."

The sun was already gone from the sky, so the darkness is full of places for Oz to travel through.

" ~~**y** _E_ **s** ." ~~

The children look at each other in debate before the girl, still holding Oz's phobia, speaks up, "Could you please bring our other friends home with us?"

Oz looks at the girl curiously. She wants to make sure the people who left them stay safe? Why would she worry about them? Oz asks as much.

" ~~**W**~~ _ ~~Hy~~?" _

"B-because they're our friends!" The little girl says with determination, "We can't leave them behind!"

Oz frowns in confusion, but agrees to the little girl's demands. Oz has never attempted to bring people with him when he travels through shadows, but there's a first time for everything. Oz reaches out and gently grabs the girl's arm, then carefully enters the shadows while she continues holding a phobia. Oz is pleasantly surprised that it's easy to pull someone into the shadows with him. Oz reaches out of the shadow and grabs the other two children before yanking them into the shadowy void a lot less carefully.

"W-where are we," Oz looks up to see the little girl clutching the squirming phobia tighter to her chest. 

" ~~**I** ** _d_** _On't Ha_ _v_ ** _e_ ** _a_ _Na_ ** _mE_ ** _fO_ r t _h_ **is** PLa **ce."** ~~

"R-really? But it's so huge, why wouldn't you name it?"

~~"I **Ha** V _e nO_ _nE_ **e** d F **or** N **Am** _e_ s." ~~

"What do your friends call you then then?" 

Oz notices that the shapeshifter and other human child are slowly emitting more fear from inside the void. Oz ignores it to talk to the tiny girl.

" ~~i **H** a _v_ _E n_ ** _O fr_** _i_ enD _s._ t _H_ Ere's **N** o N **E** _e_ d fOr ThE **M."** ~~

The girl frowns and her face falls, to Oz's dismay, "That's sad. You must be lonely."

Oz has never really considered the idea of being lonely. He has thousands of phobias around him. Of course they are all part of him, but that doesn't matter, does it? 

Since the little girl is growing sad again, Oz reaches for her other two friends deeper in the forest. Maybe they'll make her feel better. Oz grabs the two by the ankles and slowly lets them sink into the shadow. Oz can feel their terror so he tells Nyctophobia to calm them. The children do calm down and soon enough they are both also in the void. However, the moment the two see Oz, they scream.

Shocked by the sudden show of fear, Oz reaches forward and touches the kids. A cloud of black mist is sucked into Oz and his body shivers in displeasure at their near primal fear. It makes Oz want to be sick. Desperate to get them away, Oz drops all of them outside of the forest next to the nearest village. Oz lands on his feet gagging, but all the children end up on the ground. 

Shouts are heard from the nearby houses as people hear the commotion and start investigating. The shapeshifter shoots up and grabs Oz's hand before sprinting and dragging him into the forest. Oz is confused by the sudden display and glances at the monster questioningly.

"If they know monsters are around they'll kill us," The child says growling.

" ~~B~~ ~~ **u** ** _T_ ** _TH_ _e_ **_G_** **i** _r_ _l sA_ i ** _d_ ** yOu wE **R** _e_ fRi **e** ** _n_** ds?" ~~

"We are, but the adults in the village hate us monsters because some of us prey on them. If they find out about our visits into the woods, they would burn the whole forest down."

Oz stares out from the woods curiously as adult humans rush the four children inside one of their wooden homes. That's why monsters and humans don't mix? It seems stupid to Oz, but that's not what he's stuck on.

~~"W **h** ** _y_ ** _W_ o _U_ ** _l_** d yO **u** gO w **I** _t_ h t **H** em if Y **O** u c _oul_ d D **i** _e fO_~~ ** _ ~~r~~ _ ** _it?"_

"Because if I didn't, I would be by myself, all alone in the forest with no one," The shapeshifter boy turns to Oz, "If what you said about having no name or friends is true sir, I don't know how you are still living. I would have given up a long time ago."

The shapeshifter slowly shrinks into the shape of a rabbit before scurrying off into the woods. Oz stares after the monster deep in thought before sinking into the shadows to find the werewolf again. He'll still get a meal out of today.

However, as Oz disappears a singke thought crosses his mind. Is he lonely?

\-------------------A change---------------------

As much as Oz wanted to, he couldn't get rid of the shapeshifter's words all those centuries ago. Not to say Oz did anything about them. After Oz left that forest he avoided that village like the plague. Even when the witch hunts began, he stayed far away.

However, just because Oz stayed away from the source didn't mean it stopped the thoughts. Oz found himself leaving dark caves and forests to travel down streets and roads. Watching as monsters and humans advanced towards living together peacefully and created machines along with other inventions. However, Oz paid no attention to the things people made. No, he paid attention to how they acted. From old friends talking happily, families laughing together in the streets, and children playing carelessly in parks, Oz watched it all longingly.

For the first time in the millions of years of his existence, Oz felt like his purpose had been flawed. In that forest, Oz felt empathy for the first time when a little girl cried in relief, and happiness when the girl smiled. Before then, Oz had hunger, satisfaction, and frustration. Now, he craved to feel more, to learn more. 

Oz still hunted, but the thrill he felt when having what he used to call 'fun' became lackluster. He found himself stop killing his victims and instead leaving them somewhere to be helped when he was done eating. When he went to disasters and tragedies Oz felt… bad for the people who had to die, and sometimes Oz would even intervene to help a few.

When Oz wasn't doing either of those things he was practicing. He wanted to learn to speak, but with the mouth of an eldritch abomination he had no hope for talkinging normally. He brainstormed and finally came to the conclusion to try using telepathy. 

After years of speaking to his phobias with his mind, Oz attempts to talk to other living things using the same tactic. Oz starts by projecting his thoughts to a single cat. He tries for days until he realizes that to use telepathy, all he had to do was channel his mind to talk in a range instead of focusing on a single mind. Once he has a breakthrough Oz starts perfecting his communication until he can speak every language with perfect pronunciation, despite not having use for such skills yet. He continued practicing telepathy until he could broadcast to single minds too.

Oz also was able to perfect a humanoid form. However, Oz regretfully did find out he can't change his defining features. His skin stays black, his eyes stay white, and the inside of his mouth stays carnivorous.

Right now, Oz is walking through a city marketplace with clothes covering every inch of his skin. Despite monsters and humans coming to an agreement on living peacefully, most humans still hate monsters passionately. However, that's kind of to be expected with what most monsters (including Oz) eat. That's why Oz learned where and how to find old abandoned clothes to use as a disguise. 

Walking down the street Oz watches as a couple buys groceries from a small store. Oz thinks it's strange how people find eating to be so interesting. Oz tried it himself but couldn't find much interest in it. All the food was gone before he could taste it. Although ever since then Oz has had to feed his phobias every once in a while because they said they do enjoy eating. Oz still finds the concept strange, but he gives into his phobias wishes.

Today isn't for stealing food or people watching though. Today Oz is looking for something. While people watching, Oz had heard talk of a library. A place where knowledge is stored for safekeeping along with stories. Oz has gotten his hands on multiple books before and after working hard for the last five months, he learned to read them. That's why Oz is on his way to learn more. He refuses to talk to people until he knows he's doing it right, and while Oz knows the words he's saying are perfect, he does not know if what he is saying is perfect.

Humans have different reactions to things Oz never considered. Hand shakes for example, Oz has seen people do those differently. He needs to learn how to be social. Plus, having access to all those books can help him on another project Oz has taken on, writing.

Oz makes his way to the library and stops outside before ducking behind the building. Without hesitation, Oz blends into the shadows of the library and starts looking around. When Oz finds a book he likes he tugs it into the shadows when no one is looking. He always returns the books he takes, but thievery is still something people are quick to assume. After pulling out four books, Oz disappears back outside the building.

As he walks away from the building, Oz smiles under his hood, letting his sharp toothy maw be put on display. Oz is completely unaware of the man watching him from deeper within the alleyway maliciously.

Oz smiles while looking over the books he stole. Two dictionaries, a thesaurus, and a story book called the 'Wizard of Oz' that just came out. He is most excited for the story book. Dictionaries and thesauruses teach Oz words and phrases. Stories teach Oz emotions. Oz learns how to make friends, how to treat people kindly, and how to act normal when everything else is not.

That's what Oz is striving for. All his hard work is to be completely and utterly forgettable. He wants to talk to people about the weather and joke and laugh with nobody giving him a second glance. Although Oz knows he's not meant for normality, he'll strive for it. After millions of years of living life aimlessly, Oz has a goal.

As Oz walks down the street, somebody bumps into him and falls to the ground. Startled, Oz jumps back. He looks to the ground to see a younger looking vampire on the pavement.

Thinking about being polite rather than being rational Oz projects to the vampire with his mind, "A-are you alright s-sir?"

Oz curses his terrible stutter and starts fidgeting slightly under the vampire's surprised stare. Why does Oz have to panic like this!? After a moment more of silence, Oz awkwardly leans down to help the vampire up.

"S-sorry for knocking you down," Oz summons up all his courage to grab the vampire's slowly outstretching hand and pull him to his feet.

Once the vampire is standing, Oz smiles in victory at his small accomplishment. The vampire however stares at Oz fearfully as his sets up teeth slowly chitter and move inside his mouth. When Oz feels the sudden fear he instinctively pulls and a small bout of black fog comes from the arm of vampire Oz is still holding. 

The vampire sees the smoke and immediately jerks his hand away from Oz before showing his fangs. Oz stares at the vampire in shock before another presence makes itself known.

"Fucking demon! You would even attack your own kind?!" A rough voice sounds from behind Oz as the vampire ducks his head and rushes away.

Oz turns around to see an older looking human watching from a distance. The man looks aggravated. Oz suddenly processes what the man said.

Already having his mouth open Oz speaks instead of using his telepathy, " ~~w- **w** H _a_ **T?** _!_ i **_d_** _i_ dN't at _t_ **A** Ck Hi _M_ ** _!_** **_"_**~~

"You even sound like a monster. How dare you walk down the street and make other people see your face! You should just go back to Hell and rot!"

Knowing how humans feel about monsters, Oz was already prepared for such rude accusations, but it still surprised him. Oz thinks back to the manners books he read once and summons his courage to speak with his mind. He wishes his first time speaking to someone would have been under better circumstances. 

"I-I apologize if I upset you sir," Oz projects to the man's head, "I didn't expect you to be there."

The man's eyes widen at Oz's mental speech and Oz curses himself again for forgetting his unusual way of communication again.

"S-sorry about that. You just said that you didn't like my voice and I thought this would be better, but it obviously wasn't and-" Oz's nervous word vomit is cut off by the man trying to take a swing at Oz's head. The first thing Oz thinks after dodging the punch is about how the man got so close so quickly, "Ah! W-what are you doing?!"

"Shutting up a stupid monster that doesn't know it's place!" The guy tries to take another punch at Oz.

"H-hey! Stop!" When dodging the second punch Oz almost drops his books, "I didn't even do anything!"

The man goes to punch again, but falls over. Despite the man's violent behavior, Oz still catches before he hits the ground. Looking closer, Oz realizes he's drunk. What does he do about this?! Promptly panicking, Oz drops the man and he hits the ground with a thud.

"Ah!" Oz leans down again to check the man's pulse once he regains logical thinking. Oz sighs in relief, he's only unconscious. Thank god.

However that still leaves Oz confused, what does he do now! He can't just leave the guy there, but he can't help him either. With a bit of deliberation Oz decides that somebody else would probably do better at helping the man and turns back to the street.

Once finding his way back to a crowded city corner, Oz walks up to the first nice looking person he sees. Which happens to be a gorgan woman. Oz makes a clicking noise with his teeth to get the woman's attention before speaking to her through telepathy.

"Ma'am?" The woman looks up and the moment she makes eye contact with Oz her serpent hair recoils as she glares at him.

"What do you want?!" The gorgan continues glaring at Oz hostilely despite his polite explanation of what happened to the man and why he needs help.

"Sure, that's what you want. I'm busy, go try and mug some other chic," The gorgan hisses at Oz and slips away while looking over her shoulder, despite Oz's confused protests.

As Oz continues trying to get someone to help him very similar responses come from everyone he talks to. After talking to a man about needing help and he stared at Oz's mouth the entire time, Oz looks in a glass mirror of a cafe at his reflection. Oz self-consciously pokes at his mouth. Why does it have to be one of the few things he can't change. It's monstrous and makes everyone Oz talks to, monster or human, uncomfortable. 

Suddenly, a phobia appears on Oz's shoulder and squeaks to gain his attention. Oz gives his phobia full attention as it gestures wildly while explaining an idea. Oz smiles happily before enacting his phobia's suggestion. Slowly, instead of trying to change the inside of his mouth, Oz pulls the skin on his face over the horrific maw sealing it away and keeping it from sight. It was surprisingly uncomfortable, but to seem normal, Oz would make the sacrifice of comfort.

With his new look, Oz walks up to another person to ask for help. The woman happily agrees to help and Oz brings her to the man still passed out in the street.

"Wow, you really weren't kidding when you said he was drunk. You know if there are any phone booths around here?" The woman turns to Oz and asks nicely.

"N-no," Oz says awkwardly. He's never even used a phone before. He's never had someone to call.

"That's alright I'll find one and just call a friend of mine at the station to come pick this guy up. He'll probably just stay in a holding cell until he's sober enough to say where he lives," The woman frowns down at the passed out man then looks up at Oz, "It was a good thing to go looking for help when you didn't know what to do though. Do you mind if I ask your name stranger?"

"I actually don't-" Oz stops himself before saying he doesn't have a name. He'll need one sooner or later if he wants to live normally, why not think of one now? Oz looks down at the storybook he still has in his hands and nods to himself, "My name is Oz, just Oz."

"Well Oz, I'll make sure this guy gets better, so you can just go on about your day now," The woman smiles at Oz cheerfully and Oz tries to reciprocate the action. Despite not having a mouth at the moment Oz's eyebrows lift up and his eyes crinkle showing off his pleasure.

"T-thank you for your help ma'am. I hope to see you again someday!" With that Oz waves goodbye and walks away from the woman before falling into his shadow.

Once alone in the void, Oz celebrates. He talked to people for the first time, learned how to make people feel comfortable around him, and now he has a name! It's perfect!

For a moment Oz stops his celebration to touch where his mouth used to be and feels nothing but smooth black matter. His ugly maw was gone, and along with it went his horrible speaking. Oz is getting so much closer to his goal. 

Motivated by his multiple successes, Oz pulls out his books and gets to reading. He has to find out what he's named after, and find out if he likes where his name comes from.

\--------------------Prepared------------------

Oz is ready. He's perfected talking to a singular person with his mind, he's gotten used to having no mouth, he's figured out a way to eat without hurting anyone, he's perfected reading and writing, he's spent months learning social cues, he's delved into monster and human culture, he got a phone and learned how to use it, he has the perfect back story to explain what he is, and he even got rid of his god awful stutter.

In all senses, Oz is prepared, so why is he sitting in the corner of his new apartment watching cat videos on his phone in an attempt to stave off a panic attack? Oz has no idea, maybe you can tell him that. For the last three days after finally deciding he's prepared to start his new life he's been dying inside. Even now, Oz wonders why the universe decided to give the incarnation of fear anxiety. Why was that necessary?!

His thoughts don't give Oz a break. What would he do if he can't be likable enough for someone to talk to him?! What if he accidentally shows someone who likes him his mouth and they run away?! What if his phobias creep everyone out?! What if Oz can't even find someone to talk to?! What if Oz is a bad friend and he ends up making the people he meets hate him?! What would people do if they found out how many people Oz killed and terrorized? What would he do if his friends end up in danger like in all the books he reads and he has to decide between revealing his secret and letting them get hurt?! What could he do if-

A cat promptly falls inside of a cardboard box on Oz's phone and the noise pulls him from his internal reverie. Oz starts counting his phobias again for the fourth time in the last hour. He just needs to toughen up and go outside. He just needs to meet people. Oz has seen strangers become friends all the time in his centuries of people watching. He's no different. To everyone else, Oz _is_ normal.

Who would look at an Oz when there's a cyclops or demon much more interesting to look at. Oz puts his phone in his pocket and walks to the door of his new apartment. He can do this, he can do this, he- OZ CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS. Quickly, Oz returns to his corner of the room and pulls his phone back out. 

The moment Oz sits back down in the room, his phobias appear on both sides of his shoulders squeaking.

"I know I need to go out to make friends, but what if-" One of Oz's phobias cut him off by slapping him across the face, "Hey! That was rude!"

The phobias send Oz an unimpressed look. 

"I know I'm overthinking! How am I supposed to stop that?!"

One of the phobias points towards the door while the others nod at him.

"But what if-" Another hit, "Ok, if you do that again, I'm going to be upset."

Another five phobias appear on Oz's head and start squeaking loudly.

"FINE! I-I'll try going out again, but if I don't make it to the park, you can't pester me," The phobias agree to Oz's terms and Oz walks towards the door again. With a moment of hesitation Oz opens the door and starts walking down the street.

Oz probably won't meet a single person who likes him anyways, and he was right. Oz didn't meet a single person, he met three. Three people, that after knowing them for less than two years, Oz would be prepared to die for. Not long after that he met somebody to be friends with.

  
  


You know the rest.


	16. Let me get this straight...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After hearing Oz's story, how will Damien react?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We passed 1k hits! Thanks to everyone who has read my story, everyone who's given it kudos, all the people who bookmarked it, and to all you guys leaving comments! With this being my first story I've ever posted all your support it amazing! Thank you so much, I'll keep the chapters coming and hopefully you all stay for the rude!

"So let me get this straight. You're the incarnation of fear itself and after millions of years of existing you finally felt emotions and decided to live a normal life?"

Without looking at Damien Oz nods once. 

"And before all that, you killed thousands upon thousands of monsters and humans?" Damien says shocked, "You literally took out about forty thousand soldiers in a war, by yourself, and now you're finally living a normal ass teenage life because you just want to?"

Oz winces and shrinks in on himself as Damien continues.

"You literally watched the universe come into existance, have the powers of a god, and yet you live in a fucking one story house?! How the hell does that shit even work?"

Oz finally looks up at Damien in surprise.

"Couldn't you- I don't know. Why didn't you just threaten to kill the damn president to get a million dollar penthouse or something?"

"W-what?" Oz confusingly stares at Damien, who is violently gesturing around to make his point.

"Or you could have taken over the White House, actually scratch that, you could have just blown up the White House Ozzie!"

"W-why would I want to blow up the Whites House?" Damien does the almost impossible, and distracts Oz from his anxieties.

"It's not about why! It's the fact you could!"

"Then I would just end up like Z'Gord. Why would I want wizards, mages, and monster slayers trying to kill me? It would be a disaster."

"But you could just kill them all," Damien pauses a moment, "Wait, who the fuck is Z'Gord?!"

"The former ruler of the Dark Realms. She got sealed away by a group of epic wizards and enchantresses a couple thousand years back. Did you not know about her?" Oz explains quickly.

"Never mind that, we're getting off track," Damien changes the subject instead of answering, "You have an actual mouth and you keep it hidden all the time?! You have to show me that right now Oz!"

"You want to see my mouth?" Oz covers his face with his arms, "That's what you took from my super long story about death, destruction, evolution, and sociopathic tendencies?! You want to see my mouth!?"

"Of fucking course! Who the hell cares about some long dead old guys… wait," Damien pauses and turns to Oz, "How many people would you say you've killed  _ exactly _ ?" 

Oz looks at Damien strangely, "I don't know, probably around 450,000. Why would I keep an exact count?"

"Why would you keep an- WHY WOULD YOU KEEP AN EXACT COUNT?!" Damien parrots Oz's question loudly, "Because then you can compare them to other people's Ozzie! I can hardly believe you have a higher kill count than me, and it's like eighteen times larger than mine too. No fucking fair!"

"That's not something to brag about!" Oz places his head in his hands and pulls his legs to his chest, "Are you telling me you've killed twenty-five thousand people?"

"Eh, give or take," Damien shrugs then turns serious, "Now, let me see your mouth."

"You just heard a story about how I used my mouth to mutilate two entire armies worth of demons a-and you still want to see it?" Damie nods frantically and his eyes seem to be filled with fire, "You don't care about any of that?"

"Ozzie, I've lived in Hell my whole life. Like I've said before, I have seen some messed up shit. While I now doubt you can't scare me, I don't think your mouth can be that bad, so let me see it! Uh...please," The please is added on more as an afterthought.

"Y-you really don't care? You really don't think anything I said makes a difference?"

"I told you I wouldn't hate you earlier, and after hearing your, frankly terrifying life story, I'm still here right?" Damien continues without letting Oz answer, "We live in a world where I can walk down the street and see a vampire drain a man's corpse, I don't think this is that bad in the context of where we live."

"F-fine then."

Ignoring all his misgivings about showing his mouth in favour of pleasing Damien, Oz focuses on changing his form. The process is gradual. First, his face splits open into a small hole before black matter lips form. The corners of Oz's newly formed lips then stretch out all the way to his cheekbones with the sound of skin tearing. Oz's jaw unhinges and he opens his mouth fully. The entire process Damien watches intently. 

"Holy shit…" Damien whispers while gulping, "That's actually rad."

Rows and rows of jagged white teeth rotate along the top and bottom of Oz's maw. Large blood red tongues fill the rest of Oz's mouth as they converge and pulse between the teeth. Instead of leading to a throat the back of Oz's mouth is like a pitch black pit. Damien stares at Oz's monstrous maw and finds he can't look away despite the horrific and grotesque wet sounds coming from within.

"Why would you ever hide something like that, it's awesome as hell! Even if you didn't like it I would think you would at least keep the lips so you could talk. You... did say you could talk with this thing right?"

~~ "y- **_Y_ ** _ e _ _ A _ **h** ,  bU _ t  _ **I** s **O** _ u _ n **d** L _ i _ K **e** T _ H _ i **_s_ ** .  _ pL _ **uS,** IT' **s E** aS _ ie _ r tO  **_t_ ** **_a_ ** _ L _ k W **i** _ t _ h tElepAthy ~~ ," Oz starts his explanation out loud before switching back to mental communication, "I considered keeping lips, but thought people would ask questions, or accidentally see… the  _ inside  _ of my mouth."

Damien is silent as his mind tries to catch up with his ears. Oz's voice sounded exactly like it did after the fire in his apartment. However, this time, Damien had time to really listen to it. Oz's voice sounds like radio static with thousands of voices saying the same thing in the background. It also sounded distorted, with how it cracked and dipped in pitch and volume.

"...Damien?" Oz asks awkwardly under Damien's intense gaze.

"You sound like some monster from a damn horror movie! This is so damn unfair! Why do you get so much creepy and overpowered stuff, when all I have is fucking fire magic!" 

"W-what?! Sure, I've got teleportation and telepathy, but you're magic is so much better than that!"

"Fire magic can't kill forty thousand people in one go!"

"If you use it right it can!"

"Whatever," Damien scoffs and crosses his arms. 

Ozzie is the incarnation of fear. He's older than time, and has seen and done more shit than Damien ever has, yet he still acts like an anxious teenager. An Eldritch Abomination that geeks out over comics and old horror movies. The very thought makes Damien feel a little insane.

Damien can't help but start chuckling. This is a whole new level of crazy. Damien's friends with a ghost drug addict, a hipster vampire, a mermaid monarch, a human dog, a gorgan crime lord, and now an eldritch abomination with fucking anxiety. Damien can't help but laugh.

"Y-you, haha, you're older than time, and yet pft, you geek out over cat videos! What even is your life story?!" Damien busts out into full blown laughter.

Oz stares at Damien for a moment before what he said hits him in the head like a sledgehammer and Oz smiles with his real mouth for the first time in years.

"I-I guess it is kinda funny, isn't it?" Oz chuckles along with Damien.

Momentarily, the both of them burst out laughing. Everytime one of them would recover enough to breathe they would make eye contact and start laughing again. It takes a solid ten minutes for them to calm down. 

"Hey Dames?" Oz says after Damien catches his breath from laughing.

"Yeah Ozzie?" Damien turns his head towards Oz, still smiling.

"Can you please not tell anyone about this?"

"Oz…"

"Look, I know you're fine with all this crazy stuff I just told you, but other people aren't comfortable around someone who can know their darkest fears on the flip of a dime," Oz frowns, making his teeth click and rotate to make room for the action, "I don't want to be treated differently, or anyone to be afraid of me anymore. Can you just not say anything about this?"

"I won't fucking tell anybody what you told me today if you don't want me to. That would be crossing all sorts of lines," Damien makes a zipped lips gesture, "But the condition is, you've gotta tell me whenever you're about to go into one of your damn breakdowns. No locking yourself in a closet and shit. I don't care if I'm already there or not, just one text where you are and I'll show up."

Oz stays silent for a moment before nodding, "…Fine."

"Great, now that that's settled," Damien stands up from the couch and pulls out his phone, "Get off that damn couch, this shit was depressing, so we're going to blow up a Nursing Home two blocks over."

"Right now?" Oz leans forward to look through the portal and sure enough, there's a large building with a sign that says nursing home on it.

"Yeah right now," Damien huffs with a small smile, "Burning some crap will be fun."

Oz stares at Damien for a moment and a bit of red tints his cheeks before his mouth starts to close. Black skin tissue sews itself over the gaping maw and Oz's jaw resets. The entire process takes less than five seconds, but Damien stares the whole time.

"Okay, let's go," Oz gets off the couch and stands up.

Damien looks away from Oz as he steps into the portal. Before following he covers his face and groans. Why did that have to look so cool?!

Oz stares at the large building from the other side of the portal and waits for Damien to tell him their plan, or more likely, which side of the place is Oz's. Damien steps through the portal and reaches into his jacket to pull out five molotovs. 

"Where do you even keep those things?" Oz says shaking his head fondly.

"~Do you really want to know?" Damien says with a smirk.

"Nope, not at all," Oz takes the bottles from Damien and chuckles.

"You take the left side and I'll take the right. If what you said about fire magic was right, I expect your side to collapse with just four of those babies," Damien says with a smirk.

"Challenge accepted," Oz disappears.

After five minutes Oz's side did indeed collapse, much to Damien's displeasure. Ten minutes later Damien's side fell with a crash.

As Damien grumbles in frustration Oz walks up beside him with two molotovs, "I didn't need these, so I figured I'd give them back."

"Fucking show-off," Damien grabs the molotovs from Oz and shoves them in his jacket, "The only reason I'm taking these from you is because I refuse to waste explosives."

"Sure," Oz says cheekily. 

Damien turns back to the flaming building as sirens sound in the distance, "That should get Vera off my back."

"Vera? What was she pestering you about this time?" Oz asks curiously.

Damien's face heats up and he looks away from Oz, "Said some crap about me not lighting enough buildings on fire or something."

Oz raises an eyebrow at Damien unimpressed, "That doesn't sound like something Vera would say."

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?! YOU'VE NEVER MET HER!" Damien says louder as his face grows crimson.

"Okay, now I know you're not telling the full story," Oz pokes Damien in the shoulder and his phobias pop out to pout, "Tell me!"

"FINE," Damien slaps Oz's hand away quickly then puts his other to the back of his neck, "I might have accidentally let my friends know I was hanging out with you."

Oz tilts his head in confusion, "Us hanging out is supposed to be a secret?"

"Well, you didn't tell your friends about us hanging out together," Damien points out. There's no way he's telling Oz why he actually won't tell his friends about Oz. It's embarrassing.

Oz chuckles, "Well that's because you call them the Loser Gang, and I know the moment you meet them you're going to pick a fight."

"That's not true!" Oz sends Damien a look, "Ok fine, I might pick a fight with somebody, but what do you expect from me."

"Nothing else. That's why you haven't met."

As sirens grow much closer Oz turns towards Damien. If Oz had a mouth right now, Damien's sure it would be sporting a shit eating grin. Oz grabs Damien's shoulder, pulls, and the next thing he knows they're in a park.

"Goddammit Oz, what did I tell you about warning me when you do that!" Damien places both his hands on his knees to balance, "Just because I'm used to the shadow hopping thing doesn't mean I want to get tossed around like a ragdoll!"

"I just heard sirens and got us out of there. Sorry," Oz apologizes with fake innocence, "Now how about you continue with that story of yours."

"There's no more story, they just started betting on-" Suddenly a great idea comes to Damien, "Hey Ozzie?"

Oh, no. "What Damien?"

"My friends are trying to bet on who you are. They're going to try and figure out who my mystery friend is on the first day. Are you up for fooling some fuckers so I can get some cash."

Catching on to Damien's plan, Oz chuckles, "They'll never figure it out. Just make sure you split the bounty with me when they have to cash in."

"Hell yeah!" Damien shoves a fist in the air, "Let me get this set up."

Damien pulls out his phone and pulls up the group chat. They were all still talking about Damien's mystery friend so all he had to do was issue a challenge. 

**Liam:** Scott, you cannot add your collection of 'good smelling things' into the betting pool. Nobody wants the sock you found in a dumpster.

**Goodboi** : who wouldnt want a dumpster sock? theyre great

**👻☠Ghosty☠👻:** Yeah Liam, don't sock shame scott.

**Liam:** I'm not sock shaming anyone! I just don't think a smelly sock and a bunch of other garbage is good enough to put in the pool.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻** : You say that like anybody wants your old music CDs and printed pictures off Monstagram

**Liam:** They are classics! It's no wonder somebody so caught up in mainstream ideals would overlook perfection!

**HerMajesty:** I do not think that streams had anything to do with the current topic.

**Goodboi:** Yeah why are we talking about streams instead of my sock!

**Medusa:** Sorry Scott, only items of monetary value can be added into the betting pool.

**Goodboi: ☹**

**🔥Damien🔥:** Hey fuckers, I don't know why you're even betting. You're not going to guess who it is. 

**Liam:** No offense, but the type of people you hang out with all fall under the same three categories.

**🔥Damien🔥:** Not true

**Medusa:** 1\. They help enable your reckless and illegal actions.

👻☠ **GHOSTY** ☠👻: 2. They make terrible life decisions!

**Liam** : 3. They have their own troubles that you get involved with on purpose or accident.

**Goodboi:** what am i!?!?!

**Medusa:** Refer to number two and three

**HerMajesty:** Me?

**Liam:** Mostly one, but a bit of two.

**🔥Damien🔥:** None of that crap is going to help you figure out anything! Actually, you know what. I'll bet double whatever is in the pool, you don't figure it out by lunch on the first day.

**Medusa:** You'll regret that Damien. All bets are final.

**🔥Damien🔥:** Say whatever you want, but you won't figure it out, but please, go ahead and try. I could use some more cash.

As Damien puts his phone in his pocket, it vibrates rapidly. That should have them riled up until school starts in a couple of weeks.

"Vera is going to be so pissed when this is all over," Damien smirks at his phone.

"So much for good first impressions," Oz states wistfully, but not regretfully.

\-----------------------Extra----------------------

"Damien!" Stan LaVey greets his son as he walks into the throne room, "Did you learn what you needed to from Captain?"

"I would hope so with how you left," Lucien LaVey adds, "The Captain came back here frightened to death. He thought he offended you somehow and was begging not to be executed."

Damien scoffs at the bit about how the shadow captain came groveling to his fathers, "I found out what I needed to know."

"So, you learned quite a bit about fearlings?" Stan asks, smiling.

Damien shifts uncomfortably, "Yeah, I learned a lot today actually."

"That's great," Lucien turns to his son, "I assume when you left it was to visit Oz. Did he appreciate what you did?"

Damien turns away from his parents, "Yeah, he was over the moon or whatever the phrase is."

"Hmm… are you alright son?" Stan asks.

"Why the fuck wouldn't I be?" Trying to find a way to change the subject Damien asks a question he's been thinking about lately, "Hey, when you talked on the phone with Oz… what did he sound like?"

"You mean when you stayed at Oz's house when you were hungover?" Stan asks confused, "His phone connection was really bad. Static was almost the only thing we could hear."

So Damien is right, Oz talked to Damien's  parents over the phone using his monster mouth. Lucien notices Damien's thoughtful looks and turns to him.

"Why such a random question?" Lucien asks curiously.

"Ozzie's fucking phone is messed up and some crap. Wanted to make sure I wasn't the only one who noticed," Damien outright lies, "I'm heading back to my room. If that Captain guy comes back, tell him to go fuck himself for me."

Damien quickly stomps past his fathers to exit on the other side of the throne room. Once the door slams and Damien is out of sight the two kings look at each other questioningly.

"He calls him Ozzie now," Stan states monotone.

"And did you see him look away when we asked too many questions?" Lucien chuckles, "There might be hope for our son's romantic life yet."

"I haven't even seen them interact, but they already remind me of us when we were younger," Stan says smiling.

"Hopefully he'll bring that boy down here soon so we can meet him," Lucien says excitedly.

"I agree, he's already made a very good impression on Damien. I heard he's been saying please and thank you lately," Stan says quietly.

"No!" Lucien gasps despite Stan's nodding.

"Our little fire baby is growing up," Stan says, smiling wider.

Lucien chuckles at his husbands excitement then sighs, "Ah, young love."

Across the castle Damien's face heats up again for no apparent reason.


	17. The Fated Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After noticing Oz's strange behavior, Vicky and Amira convince Brian to stalk their friend. They get more than they bargained for.

While Damien and Oz burn a Nursing Home to the ground across town, Vicky, Amira, and Brian sit in an old timey pizzeria, eating awkwardly. 

"Okay, I'm just going to ask what we're all thinking. Does anybody know what's been up with Oz lately?" Amira slams her hands on the table and glances at both of her friends.

Vicky slouches in her seat and sighs, "You noticed too? Thank god, I thought I was just going crazy."

"No, we all noticed Vick. He's backed out of hanging with us twice, been seen texting somebody on his phone other than us, and there's few more things I can list off the top of my head," Brian says nonchalantly.

"He can do hair all of a sudden too!" Vicky exclaims, "One day he can barely manage a ponytail and the next, he does a 'French Infinity Braid.' Where did that come from?!"

"Tutorial videos," Brian says deadpan, "You know he likes those."

"That's what I thought, but when I tried looking a video up, none of them were as good!" Vicky pouts, "He had to learn it from a professional or something!"

"Wait, I just remembered something. I didn't say anything at the time because I didn't think much of it, but remember the big mall fight?" Amira ignores Vicky's words entirely.

"Yeah," Both Vicky and Brian say in sync, then make eye contact and nod once.

"Well afterwards, Oz raided my medicine cabinet for burn related products," Amira says glancing between both of her friends, "I don't think he knows I know he stole it. He returned it all next morning, but what do you guys think that means?"

Vicky looks thoughtful before she voices her thoughts out loud, "Well, we all know for a fact Oz can't be burned after that time you accidentally headbutted him, so the cream had to be for someone else. Most likely someone in the mall fight, because of the fires that spread afterwards and the timing."

"Oz is too antisocial to bring some random person back to his house," Brian points out, "I doubt that's what happened."

"Wait, didn't you say that Oz stole some food and crap from your house a couple weeks back?" Amira turns to Brian who just nods while taking a sip of soda, "Why did he say he needed the food?"

"He just said he had a guest. I didn't ask any more questions after that."

"Brian!" Vicky whines, "Why didn't you ask who it was!? We wouldn't even have a mystery then?!"

"It wasn't any of my business. I just wanted to know why he stole my toaster," Brian shrugs and grabs another piece of pizza from the center of the table.

"Look, it doesn't matter," Amira smiles, "What Brian said just means that Oz does know somebody that he trusts enough to invite over. Chances are, that person is who the burn cream was for and is also our mystery friend!"

"Look at you! You're like a detective Amira," Vicky jokes chuckling.

"I know, I know. I'm a genius, thank you very much!" Amira fake brags.

"Ok," Vicky starts recapping, "So, Oz has a secret friend that he invites to his house regularly. That's why he canceled on us. Said friend got hurt in the mall incident and Oz stole burn cream to help them. They obviously have each others' numbers, and… oh yeah! The friend is really good with hair and make up!"

"That's a lot of info, but what do we do with it?" Amira says, resting her cheek on her fist and ignoring Vicky's last comment.

"How about nothing?" Brian asks tiredly, "It really isn't our job to figure out who Oz's friend is. If he doesn't want us to meet yet, we should respect that."

"I hear what you're saying Brian, but as Oz's friends, it's our job to make sure that everyone is up to par with his level of greatness. We have to evaluate this mystery person's motives!" Amira stands up out of her chair and pumps a fist, "Let's find out who this guy is!"

Multiple other customers in the pizzeria give the group of three dirty looks. The cashier also looks sorta annoyed.

"Amira…" Brian places his head in his hands.

"VICKY!" Amira ignores Brian and turns to the frankenstein's monster, "Are you ready for a stakeout?!"

"HELL YEAH!" Vicky stands up and pumps another fist into the air, "This is going to be so much fun!"

"You in Brian?!" Amira turns to the exasperated zombie.

Brian groans with his head still in his hands, "Fine, but only to keep you two out of trouble, and if we get caught I'm throwing you under the bus."

Both Vicky and Amira high five despite Brian's threat.

"If I lose my hand again because of you, I swear-"

"~You know you love us!" Vicky says while walking around the table to hug Brian.

"Why do I? Please tell me what it is that makes me like you two," Brian looks up at the ceiling as if some higher being will give him answers.

"Hey! No hugging until after we come up with a plan," Amira scolds, "Besides Oz, you're literally the only one with any brains Vicky. Me figuratively and Brian literally. You've gotta help come up with a plan and stop showing P.D.A!

"Hah, Okay," Vicky walks back around the table and the three monsters spend the rest of the evening scribbling their plans down on a greasy pizza napkin.

\-----------------Four days later------------------

"Why am I here? Why did I agree to this? And most importantly, what are you wearing?" Brian groans as he sees Amira crouched behind Oz's shrubs.

"Hey!" Amira whisper yells, "Not everyone can be naturally green to blend in!"

"Amira," Brian sighs deeply, "We're hiding behind a bush. There was no need to dress like one."

Amira scowls before looking down at her outfit with an even angrier face. She had what looked to be an old sweater, with actual leaves glued onto it. Her face is covered in either mud or brown makeup and she had a black shower cap over her fire hair blocking the flame's light.

"LOOK BRIAN," Amira whispers in indignation, "VICKY TEXTED ME TO WEAR THIS, SO WHEN SHE SHOWS UP AND YOU'RE THE ODD ONE OUT, HOW WILL YOU FEEL?"

"Did one of you say my name?" At that very moment Vicky shows up out of nowhere, dressed completely normally.

"VICKY!" Amira growls, "WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING A DISGUISE!"

"Wait, you actually took that text seriously? I was joking!" Vicky doubles over laughing as she looks closer at Amira's clothes, "Ohmygod! You look hilarious!"

"Have neither of you ever been on stakeout?!" Brian frowns, "Why are we just standing behind a bunch of bushes talking!"

"Speak for yourself! I committed to this crap," Amira growls grumpily.

"~Look who's ready for a stakeout now," Vicky teases Brian.

"I just don't want to get caught stalking Oz from his own bushes!" Brian whispers back before sitting down next to Amira, "Now please Vicky, sit down and use your inside voice!"

Vicky giggles a little before sitting criss cross next to Brian while Amira sends her a death glare. All three go silent for a while before Vicky starts fidgeting a little.

"Did you charge up with too much electricity before you came here?" Amira whispers jokingly.

"I thought that there would be more following and less waiting!" Vicky whines frowning.

"You just chose a random day for a stakeout hoping that Oz and his friend would meet up," Brian snorts, "We might be doing this every night until we start high school."

"But that's like twenty one stakeouts!" Vicky pouts again, "I can't do this for three weeks!"

"You were the one who dragged me into this," Brian shoves Vicky a little with his elbow, "Plus, it's only been an hour. Why don't you just play on your phone with the light low or something to pass the time."

Vicky's eyes light up and a phone's in her hand at record speeds. Another few hours pass before Amira breaks the silence.

"Umm...hey guys?" Amira says nervously.

"What?" Vicky says with her face in her phone.

"How do we follow Oz if he shadow jumps?" At Amira's question both monsters tense, "I mean… we did think of some way to follow him… right?"

Brian groans and facepalms. Vicky chuckles in pain.

"That means we didn't think of anything, doesn't it?" Amira sighs in frustration.

"We made plans for every variable except the one that matters!" Vicky laugh cries.

"Whelp, that's my cue to head home," Briant starts to stand up and doesn't hear the clear sound of a door opening, "Text me if you figure out-"

All of a sudden Amira tackles Brian to the ground and covers his mouth. Vicky leans over the zombie and points towards Oz's house while shushing him. Slowly, Amira moves away and Brian sits up again to look.

Vicky, Brian, and Amira watch from the bushes as Oz leaves his house and checks his phone, before heading down the street. When Oz is almost out eyesight, they make their move to follow.

Amira and Brian quietly tail Oz as Vicky hides behind a selection of different things including dumpsters, signposts, and potted plants. While her friends watch on in amusement Vicky tells them that it's for stealth.

"Y'know if anyone should be ducking behind dumpsters, it should be you," Brian says quietly with a pointed look at Amira.

"Why me?!" Amira asks, glaring at Brian.

"Because you're the one who's dressed like a tree," Brian smiles and chuckles, "If Oz turns around he might look over me, but not the person dressed as a pile of leaves."

"I beg to differ," Amira frowns, "If Oz turns around he would immediately recognize you as his friend, I would be overlooked because Oz is too awkward to ask me why I'm dressed like this."

Brian looks thoughtful for a moment, "Touché." 

"Guys!" Vicky scolds from behind a park bench, "Be quiet! You know how well Oz can hear!"

Brian and Amira send Vicky another amused look before quieting. When they turn to continue following Oz, he's gone.

"Vicky? Did you see which way he went?!" Amira says urgently.

"No! You distracted me!" Vicky shoots up from behind the bench and looks around frantically.

Brian pinches the bridge of his nose, "Why are we so bad at stakeouts and stalking?"

"Sorry Brian," Amira says sarcastically, "None of us have a PHD in the tracking sciences!"

"Oz couldn't have gotten far. Let's look around," Vicky says ignoring her other friends' squabble, "This is just a road full of abandoned buildings, so there's no reason to go inside. He's probably on the streets on his way somewhere else."

Amira nods at Vicky enthusiastically and Brian rolls his eyes. All three head in different directions to find Oz. All three of them walk directly past the building Oz actually entered.

No more than five minutes later, a boom sounds through the air as the three look for Oz separately. Vicky and Amira look around for the source of the noise in confusion while Brian watches an entire building go up in flames as an explosion rocks the street.

"That's not good," Once his ears stop ringing from the bang Brian turns down the street and shouts, "VICKY! AMIRA! YOU MIGHT WANT TO SEE THIS!"

Vicky and Amira come running when they hear their friend's very concerned shout. Amira gets to Brian first and follows his shocked gaze.

"Holy Jesus…" Amira whispers under her breath as the fire from the original building spreads to the one next to it, "That's concerning, but also awesome."

Brian breaks his gaze from the building to shake his head at Amira and roll his eyes. Vicky shows up last and just when she arrives the original fiery building starts to collapse in on itself.

"Did one of you set a building on fire?" Vicky asks, barely phased by the sounds of concrete hitting the ground.

"No!" Amira is broken out of her stupor and glares at Vicky, "My hair can't do something like that! I'm a small burn and accidental arson kind of girl Vick."

"Ok, ok," Vicky puts her hands up in surrender, "So the building just randomly lit on fire?"

"The building didn't light on fire," Brian corrects, "The fire was caused by the explosion."

"THE EXPLOSION?!" Amira shouts questioningly.

"Oh, that's what that loud bang noise was?" Vicky says thoughtfully, "That makes so much more sense than a random fire."

"How does a random explosion make more sense than a random fire?!" Amira asks with a dramatic hand gesture at the building.

"I don't know. It just makes more sense to me," Vicky shrugs.

"Somebody had to blow the building up though right?" Brian asks out loud.

Vicky looks ar Brian and frowns, "Well, it could have been a bad gas line or some hobo, but it's probably just a coincidence, so-" 

Another loud boom splits the quiet night air and cuts Vicky's explanation short. Smoke can be seen farther down the street as another building seemingly explodes.

"Or, and hear me out," Amira turns to Vicky, "This is not a coincidence and somebody has rigged the entire street to go boom."

"Yeah, umm, that's also a possible reason," Vicky says with a nervous chuckle and a glance at the other burning building down the street.

"Well, since we aren't solving the mystery friend situation tonight, I vote we look for the culprit!" Amira says enthusiastically.

"Are you kidding me, Amira-"

"I'm in!" Vicky cuts Brian off.

Brian looks at both his friends with a mix bewilderment and exasperation, "You two are really going to investigate a street that is getting blown up and try to find the person doing it?"

Amira and Vicky practically have stars in their eyes as they nod. 

"You guys are going to be the death of me," Brian states deadpan and shakes his head slowly, "Let's go."

With Brian's agreement, both Vicky and Amira sprint in the direction of the burning building. 

"I hope we get to see this one collapse too!" Amira laughs brightly as Vicky chuckles beside her.

Brian follows behind slowly. Smiling at his friends' wacky antics. He'll never be able to predict them.

All three friends reach the building before it falls and get to see the flames spread between the buildings like wildfire.

"Do you think firefighters are on their way?" Vicky tilts her head while asking the question.

"Do you think any of them care about what happens to a bunch of abandoned buildings that were probably just going to get demolished anyways?" Brian asks with a quirked eyebrow.

"Hmm, fair point."

"There's nobody here!" Amira frowns while running around the burning building searching for any evidence of people.

"Amira why would the person that blew a building up stick around?"

"I just thought-" Amira's eyes widened and she started whispering, "Look up there!"

Vicky and Brian follow Amira's gaze to the building across from the fire. On the roof stand two shadowy figures that are hidden by the smoke from the flames and the night sky. One of them seems to be doubled over laughing and the other is just standing still.

"Those two must have been the ones that blew up the buildings!" Vicky squeals, "Mystery almost solved!"

"Almost? We found the culprits, wasn't that what we wanted?" Brian falsely hopes Vicky isn't suggesting-

"We've got to go up there and meet them!" Amira is the prophet of doom this time.

"Can we not just go home?" Brian asks monotone.

"NO!" Both Vicky and Amira shout.

"I bet there's a fire escape we can climb to the roof with! Last one to the top has to do my laundry this week!" And with that, Vicky sprints towards the building with two shadow figures.

"HEY NO FAIR!" Amira sprints after Vicky, "You got a head start!"

Brian walks behind the two slowly. Afterall, Oz or him will just end up helping Vicky anyways. They circle around what seems to be an old apartment building and sure enough, there actually is a fully intact fire escape. Brian blanches when he sees Amira on Vicky's shoulder with her trying to reach the ladder to the fire escape. 

"I...hmm...ok then," Brian walks up to the two girls, "Do you need some help?"

"Nope!" Vicky turns to Brian and Amira whobbles dangerously on her shoulders.

"Vicky!" Amira scowls, "Stop moving Vick! I can almost reach the- got it!"

Sure enough, the ladder attached to the bottom of the fire escape falls loose. Amira throws both her arms in the air and lets out a silent cry of victory. This sudden movement causes Vicky to stumble, and Amira, who has both her hands in the air instead of stabilizing herself starts falling backwards.

Barely moving, Brian steps forwards and catches Amira by her arms before she hits the ground. Vicky catches herself and turns around quickly.

"Amira are you alright?!" Vicky worriedly hovers by her friend.

"I'm fine Vicky! Brian caught me! Not even a bruise," Amira tries to reassure her friend.

"Yep, I'm always here to stop you guys from accidentally killing yourselves," Brian, with a completely straight face, as he gestures one hand as if to tip a hat at the girls.

"Pft...okay," Vicky laughs and Amira stands up and brushes off her sweater, "Let's head up then!"

Vicky goes up first with Amira then Brian following behind. As they climb the fire escape floor by floor Vicky starts shaking in excitement.

"This is just like my murder mystery games!" She smiles ear to ear.

"Calm down Vick," Amira says from behind, "We're getting close to the top. They'll run away or something if they hear us."

"Oh, sorry," Vicky doesn't say anything else, but her excited fighting continues.

All three friends finally make it to the top floor. They are directly below the roof. 

"Okay, what's our game plan?" Vicky stops her other two friends from moving forward, "Are we gonna go in guns blazin' or are we going to go in all silent and sneaky!?"

"Wouldn't it have been better to have already figured this out?" Brian asks, only to be met with complete silence.

Ignoring Brian completely Amira answers, "Gunz' a blazin!"

"Yeah!" Without letting Brian get a word in, Vicky rushes up the last set of stairs. 

Brian is sure Amira would have rushed after Vicky is Brian wasn't blocking her. Slowly, Brian ascends to the next level. 

Most people would be worried about getting hurt or killed when something like this happens. Brian, Vicky, and Amira, they consider the possibility of getting hurt or killed part of the fun. 

When Brian makes it to the top floor and Vicky's already gone. Brian rolls his eyes and peaks onto the roof before climbing over. There's a red demon and next to him Vicky's hugging...huh? Brian didn't expect that.

\------------A couple hours earlier--------------

Oz is having a good day. Scratch that, Oz has been having a good week. Something about telling your deepest darkest eldritch secrets really takes a weight off your chest and puts a pep in your step. He wouldn't have dared imagine his secret being so accepted. Sure, the person who knows is the prince of Hell so it's not the most reliable response, but Oz is still living off of a good feeling right now.

That good feeling is probably the reason Oz agreed to meet Damien a couple of blocks away despite his very arsonistic tendencies. Actually, Oz is kidding himself. He would have helped Damien light an abandoned neighborhood on fire anyday. 

When Oz got the request to meet up he was actually surprised. Not about Damien's illegal recreational activities, but the fact there was an abandoned street of buildings so close to his new house. Considering Oz frequents such locations for food he's upset he didn't already know about it. When Oz really thinks about it though, he realized he hasn't had to go looking for food since the bank robbery. Not with all the crazy hijinks Damien drags him into.

There's a slight rustle of the bushes next to his house, and Oz's head snaps in that direction. When he looks at the bushes however, nothing seems to be there, so Oz shakes his head and ignores it. Maybe a stray cat decided to move in next to Oz. Wouldn't that be a nice surprise.

After walking out of his home Oz turns around and locks the door. The mention of an abandoned neighborhood also got Oz missing his city strolls that came along with eating. No, back alleys and dumpsters aren't the best scenery, but the walks were still nice despite that. That's why Oz decided to just leave early and walk to his destination instead of shadow hopping.

Oz starts down the street and pulls out his phone to make sure he's got the correct address in mind. He has great direction in the shadows, but when it comes to navigating without them his skill is... subpar at best. Of course, if Oz gets badly lost, he can just shadow jump, but it would be a blow to his dignity. After double checking Oz knew where he's going, he started off.

The moon light and the lampposts on the side of the street give the silent city a serene feel. Not a single person's out on the street tonight. For the next few minutes he strolls leisurely until he reaches a decaying building with a green roof.

Oz goes to check his text one more time, but a commotion sounds out behind him. It sounds like a group of people arguing so Oz quickly enters the building to avoid the conflict. With a sigh, Oz looks around. Luckily this is the correct building. 

Damien is crouched on the ground working with something while cursing constantly. He stands up and grunts in satisfaction once whatever he's doing is completed.

"Hey Dames!" Oz greets the demon who's back is turned to him.

Damien jerks and whips his head around with a maniac smile, "Sup Ozzie! Get the fuck over here and look."

Oz slowly approaches Damien and looks around the building in shock, "Oh my god. Did you- This is all- You filled this entire building with explosives?!"

"Hell yeah! This building and four others around the street!" Damien laughs.

"You're going to set the whole street aflame if you have this much in the other buildings too," Oz says in shock while he takes the view in.

Dynamite, C4, and a multitude of other explosives Oz doesn't recognize are strung around the building half-hazardly. The amount of the stuff is ungodly and Oz stares on in disbelief, not knowing if he should be worried about the black market selling stuff to Damien, or relieved at the fact that the black market must be out of explosives to sell to anyone else.

"What do you think Oz?! I say this was a very good investment," Damien continues smiling and savors the shocked and impressed look on Oz's face.

"This is crazy!" Oz says, still letting his brain catch up with his eyes, "How are you going to set them all off?!"

Damien chuckles a little before reaching into his jacket and pulling out a handful of what looks like black sticks.

"These are the detonators for each building," Damien takes out one that's labeled with a smiley face and the top clicks open to reveal a red button, "Push the button and start the chaos!"

Before Oz can respond, Damien presses the button and a gigantic boom is heard down the street followed by a bunch of quieter explosions. Oz stares in the direction of the noise shocked. Two phobias set on his shoulder with their mouths wide open.

"Haahahahahhaha!" Damien throws the now useless detonator behind him and smiles, "That was the one with the least explosives. How about we find a good view and watch the others go up in flames!"

Oz stares Damien in the eyes and chuckles once he recovers from his surprise, "Fine Dames. Which rooftop were you thinking of?"

"I knew you would be on board!" Damien places a hand on Oz's shoulder, "The one three down and across from this one. We should be able to see the other five explosions from there."

"Five?!" Oz parrots.

"Five," Damien sends Oz a smirk, "Now about we get to it. We've only got all night."

"Alright," Oz pulls on Damien's shadow and he steps backwards. Oz let's it engulf the both of them as they fall into the void.

They appear on an abandoned apartment building within seconds and Damien rushes to the far side.

"Get over here and watch me blow this building to the fucking moon Oz," Damien shouts enthusastically over his shoulder.

Oz walks over to the edge of the building and looks at the building Damien's eyes are glued to.

"You ready for a show!?" Damien reaches into his pocket and pulls out another detonator. This one is labeled with a neutral face.

"Do you seriously have one of those for each building?" Oz asks teasingly.

"Shut the hell up! It was for dramatic effect!" Damien snarls and looks away from Oz.

"Heh, sorry," Oz turns his attention back to the building, "Dramatics do better the experience."

"Hell yeah they do!" Damien flicks the top off and there's another red button, "You ready?!"

Oz leans against the building's edge and looks at the building, "I'm ready."

Damien smiles maniacally, laughs and then presses the button, "YEAH!!!"

His blood thirsty cry is drowned out by the resounding thunderous explosion from across the street. Oz can't say it wasn't an impressive display of explosives. Damien just watches the fire from the explosion in excitement.

"That… was much cooler to watch than I expected it to be…" Oz says while watching the flames.

"Did you think I would show you something lame?" Damien almost sounds offended.

"No, I just didn't expect it to be  _ as  _ cool," Oz says chuckling.

"You bet it was cool!" Damien says with a more happy growl. Most people wouldn't be able to tell the difference, but Oz can.

"What made you decide to do this anyways?" Oz asks curiously, "When it comes to arson you usually stay pretty spontaneous and random. The fact you set all this up beforehand is unusual."

"W-what are you talking about?! Can't a guy just decide to blow up a building in a different way than normal? All that trying new things shit right?!" 

Damien looks away with a red face. Well, at least a more red face than normal. Oz realizes with a start that he must be embarrassed.

"Hey, I think trying new things is fine. Like, that time you helped me learn how to style hair and makeup. I never knew how to do that, but I tried it and Vicky now worships the ground I walk on. Well, when it comes to cosmetics anyways."

Damien looks back at Oz and nods silently. Oz is about to continue questioning Damien when his face suddenly lights up, "You're going to set off the next explosion."

"...w-what?!" Oz watches Damien pull the third detonator out of his jacket and offer it to him. This one has a slightly frowny face labeling it.

"You're going to set off the next one!" Damien states excitedly.

"I-I couldn't! You set it up and bought the explosives, I can't just take that from you!"

"You're not taking it from me if I'm literally trying to put it in your hand," As he speaks, Damien grabs Oz's hands and places the detonator in it.

"Ah! Really Damien! I'll feel bad if you don't get to-"

"I have three more to use later, Ozzie. It's not like you're taking a chance of a lifetime from me or some shit," Damien waves his hand in some sort of dismissal, "Just blow the building up before I-"

"OZ!" A blur of blue practically tackles Oz into a hug.

Oz almost teleports away, before he recognizes a very familiar set of black and white hair on the thing that just attacked him, "Vicky? What are you doing here?!"

The poofy head of hair recedes to reveal that it is indeed Vicky that is latched onto Oz. 

"What the fuck?" Damien says scowling at the random girl that just grabbed Oz and hugged him. It only took a moment more for Damien to recognize the girl, "Why the hell is a member of the Loser Gang here?"

Oz sends Damien a warning glare before turning back to Vicky who is… also glaring at Damien?

"Who are you?! And what are you trying to get Oz to do?!" Vicky lets go of Oz to step towards Damien, who looks unimpressed by Vicky's display.

"Vicky! Calm down," Oz hears a familiar voice and turns to see that Brian is indeed here with Amira following behind.

"Guys?!" Oz says in confusion, "What are you doing here, why did Vicky just tackle-hug me, and why is Amira dressed like a pile of leaves?!"

Amira sends Oz a glare then grabs the black shower cap off her head and throws it to the ground before repeatedly stomping on it in frustration.

"Umm… that's the thing," Brian put a hand on the back of his head then says the rest without pausing, "We may or may not have stalked you across town from your house, heard the explosion, tried to find the culprit of said explosion, and then found you on a rooftop."

Oz stares at Brian dumbfounded as Vicky seems to finally calm down. While Oz is in a moment of weakness, one of his phobias pop up on his shoulder and steal the detonator. Oz turns to the tiny black blob in surprise, but before he can stop it, the red button is on display and already getting pushed.

Another, much louder kaboom stops everyone in their track as another building explodes larger than the last two. Vicky slowly turns to Oz, Damien has a wild expression, Amira watches the burning building in awe, and Brian just looks done with the world.

"Haha," Oz awkwardly laughs, "Oops?"

Damien bursts out laughing, "Ha! Ozzie, remember that time I called you're black worms little shits? I was so fucking right! Oh, my god! They are literally the fucking best."

While Damien laughs loudly, Oz's other three friends stare at him questioningly. Well, all of them except for Brian. He looks like he just wants to be sleeping right now.

"So I guess proper introductions are due," Oz starts off the circus of awkwardness, "The laughing demon that just blew up two buildings is Damien LaVey. He's the prince of hell. Damien, this will be your first time meeting my friends, the zombie is the Brian Yu, the frankenstein's monster is Vicky Schmidt, and Amira Rashid is the Dijin."

At her name Amira waves with one hand on her hip, Brian just pinches the bridge of his nose, and Vicky immediately switches tunes from being offensive to excited.

"I already know their damn names Oz. You talk about them to fucking much not too," While Oz was talking, Damien recovered from his laughing fit, "Why the hell are they even here."

Oz makes eye contact with Damien and shrugs. Damien's only response is to roll his eyes.

"I can answer that," Vicky bounces in front of Damien with extra energy than normal, "We figured out that Oz had a secret mystery friend that none of us knew about. We decided to follow him and find out who it was to make sure they were up to Oz's standards. That eventually, and accidentally, led us up to this rooftop!"

"I already told them that Vick," Brian states when she finishes talking.

"Yeah, but Damien didn't hear you!" Vicky whines then turns to Damien questioningly, "Or did you?"

Damien eyes Vicky warily. The way she went from scolding and intimidating to cut and excited was alarming. The fire bitch walks up to the girl and places an arm over her shoulders.

"Yeah, we came to check out Oz's new friend," Amira says smoothly, "So I guess we've got to make sure you're not an asshole."

"Guys…" Oz looks at his friends in embarrassment.

"Just let it happen Oz. Just let it happen," Brian walks over to Oz and places an arm over his shoulder similarly to how Amira did to Vicky.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean bitch?!" Damien growls while eyeing the arm over Oz's shoulders.

"Just what I said. Oz is amazing and we want to make sure you aren't a jerk," Amira somehow still looks cool in her leafy sweater and dark brown face paint.

"Yeah!" Vicky says enthusiastically, "We want to test to make sure you aren't some bastard who will be a dick to our friend!"

Damien glances at both girls and tsks, "Yeah no. I have three weeks till high school so I am not letting anybody give me any type of test until then. Can we just blow up three more buildings and just call this a night."

Amira and Vicky look very conflicted. They have to decide between blowing buildings up and testing Oz's new friend. It's a hard dilema. Oz mentally sighs in relief. Hopefully, they'll just agree to have fun and-

All hope is lost when Brian dawns a serious face and his arm suddenly disappears from Oz's shoulder. Brian walks directly past Vicky and Amira and gets in Damien's space. Damien is just a bit shorter than Brian and he uses that to his advantage.

"Do you plan on only being friends with Oz and nothing else?" Brian asks very seriously.

"What else would I want with him?!" Damien growls indignantly.

At this point Oz wants to melt into a puddle and just drip away into nothingness. He hides his face in his hands.

"I don't know, but I just felt the need to warn you," Brian stays deathly serious, "If you as much hurt one hair on his head, we won't care if you're the prince of Hell or the king of heaven, we will find you and make you pay."

Both Vicky and Amira nod along with Brian.

"I'm not gonna fucking hurt Ozzie," Without showing any signs of intimidation, Damien walks past the three tense friends and stands besides Oz, "Who else would watch Twilight Zone with me?"

Oz's face turns an even brighter shade of red and a couple of phobias pop up to flash little thumbs ups at everyone present.

Brian turns from being deathly serious and back relaxed in an instant, "Well, that's good to know. Come on Amira, Vicky, let's get going."

"But Brian!" Vicky starts to whine, but follows Brian towards the fire escape anyways.

Oz watches as they start to leave and the only thing he can think about, is how he wished their first impressions with Damien went better. This was literally a nightmare.

Damien takes one look at Oz's downtrodden face and grabs the bridge of his nose with a sigh. He just wanted to have fun with Oz tonight, but he'll have to let the Loser Gang join them for Oz to actually be happy.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going losers!" All three of the monsters on their way to the fire escape stop and turn around in surprise, "I pretty much said you could join us to blow up some buildings. The offer is still standing."

Oz stares at Damien in shock. Vicky looks at Brian for approval while Amira immediately starts back towards Oz. Brian sighs again and gestures for Vicky to go ahead.

"I'm assuming big green over there doesn't want to blow anything up right?" Damien says less than enthusiastically.

"No thanks."

"Well then, Sparky gets number four," Damien tosses a detonator to Vicky before turning to Amira and tossing another, "And Hothead gets number five. One of you go on ahead and blow a building to smithereens."

Both girls turn to each other and smile ear to ear before Vicky pushes the button on her switch and another nearby building explodes. After a few minutes of watching that building burn. Amira detonates hers.

Damien finds that Oz is looking at the two girls fondly as they squeal about the fire and destruction. A tiny bit of jealousy blooms in Damien's chest as he watches. It stays there until Oz turns to him.

"Thanks for that Damien," Oz has the same look of fondness in his eyes as earlier, "It was really nice of you to let them in on our fun and see some huge explosions."

"You kidding me!" Damien snarls loudly with newfound joy, "Those are baby explosions compared to what I've got!"

Damien pulls out his last detonator. This one is marked with the tiny face of someone crying and barfing at the same time. Without hesitation, Damien flips the cap up and pushes the button.

An explosion the size of a skyscraper shoots into the sky at the very end of the street. The building isn't visible, but the fire and smoke coming off of it is.

"Wow…" Oz watches as the dark sky lights up from the flames.

As Damien watches Oz's reaction, he silently cheers at successfully impressing him. Afterall, that's what this entire stunt was for. It was to show Oz that Damien's just as cool as being an Eldritch abomination.


	18. Tail Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oz's friends want an explanation so he gives it to them. Damien and Oz watch TV too.

"Sooo… are you going to tell us how you met Mister Explodo?" Amira leans close to Oz who is sitting on his couch uncomfortably.

  


After a night of unofficial demolishing, everyone went their separate ways, including Oz. However, that didn't stop his three friends from spamming his phone all night with endless questions. Actually, Vicky and Amira spammed, Brian tried to shut them up so he could sleep. To show Brian mercy, Oz agreed to answer all of their questions the two days from then at his house. Of course his friends agreed and Vicky excitedly started writing down all of her questions.

  


Now, they're sitting in Oz's living room. Amira sits beside Oz on the couch, it's Vicky's turn in the cocoon bean bag chair, and Brian stays propped up by his elbow on the end of the couch drinking a soda.

  


Oz turns to Amira and shuffles his hands uncomfortably, "Do you remember when there was a huge fight in your favorite store a few months ago?"

  


"Did he get caught in it?" Brian asks curiously.

  


"Well, umm… kind of?" Oz sounds uncertain, "He might have sorta… started the fight, while trying to steal alcohol."

  


Brian rolls his eyes and sounds disappointed, "And so you asked for his name and number?"

  


"That's actually kinda hilarious," Vicky giggles and Amira chuckles, "Talk about good first impressions."

  


Oz joins their chuckling awkwardly, "W-well I didn't happen to get his name or number then. I only got his name after he dragged me into running away from a spider cult with him."

  


Amira and Vicky start full blown laughing, "Pft, good joke Oz!"

  


Brian sighs in exasperation, "I don't think he's joking."

  


"Nope," Oz says quietly, "I am not."

  


Amira stares at Oz wondrously, "You learned his name while getting chased by a cult in the woods? How did that even happen?"

  


"A walk in the woods and bad timing," Oz already decided not to tell them the exact details of why he was in the woods to keep them from feeling bad.

  


"Wait, but you just said you got his name. How did you get his number?" Vicky asks in confusion.

  


"That would be  w hen  he dragged me into a motorcycle chase, " Oz slouches into the couch and slowly gets quieter and quieter.

  


"I'm sorry what was that?" Brian says in disbelief, "I couldn't have heard you correctly."

  


"I got Damien's number," Oz pauses and then glances around as his cheeks turn light pink, "After he dragged me into that big motorcycle chase around three weeks ago and I helped him escape the city."

  


The whole house is silent for a minute as Oz's friends stare at him in surprise. Vicky is the one who ends the silence.

  


"I knew I recognized Damien from somewhere! It was the viral clip of him throwing a molotov at a police barricade!" Vicky says snapping her fingers.

  


"Umm… that was me. Remember how we can't take selfies together because I can't get caught on an electrical camera?" 

  


"You… were the one who threw a molotov at the police brigade?!" Amira turns to oz suddenly and grabs his shoulders, "You were involved in a motorcycle chase and you didn't tell me?!"

  


It was at that exact moment Oz decided to exclude the bank robbery from his future summary. If Amira's this cross about a motorcycle chase he would hate to see how she would act if she found out about that. Oz feels a chill run down his spine at the very idea.

  


"It wasn't important at the time!" Oz says, slowly prying Amira's hands off his shoulders, "I was hoping we wouldn't meet again at the time."

  


"So he gave you his number?" Brian turns to Oz quizzically.

  


"N-no," Oz's face turns pink again, "I might have given him mine because I wasn't thinking…"

  
  


"You what?!" Amira exclaims, "So far, this Damien fellow sounds like some type of jackass who drags people into his problems!"

  


"No," Oz says stubbornly, "That might have been how things started, but we ended up being really good friends. In fact, whenever you guys aren't over her, Damien usually is. We watch TV together and other stuff."

  


Brian looks away from Oz and takes a long sip from his soda can. Amira and Vicky just watch Oz skeptically.

  


"I know he seems like a jackass, but it's just his personality. He was born in Hell, so don't you think it's a given?" Oz doesn't mention Damien's polite parents or the fact most demons aren't as prone to arson, "Really, Damien is much nicer than he seems on the first, second, and third impressions."

  


"Fine, I believe you," Amira sighs and relaxes back onto the couch, "Two things though. If you get into another motorcycle chase you have to give me the deets and if he ever hurts you, give me his home address."

  


"O-okay," Oz knows Amira will make good on her threats.

  


"Hmm...okay!" Vicky has a pen and paper and she seems to be writing something, "That answers six out of my ten questions! Only one of the remaining ones is even about Damien."

  


"You wrote your questions down," Brian says this more like a statement then a question.

  


"Of course! I didn't want to forget any!" Vicky looks up from her pad and smiles, "Let's see… Is Damien going to be at Spooky high this year?"

  


"Yes," Oz eyes Vicky's notepad warily. 

  


"Great, now..." Vicky stands up, walks behind the couch, pulls a backpack out from out of nowhere, and sets a pile of papers on the table, "On the subject of Spooky High, I've got all our schedules, classes, and everything we need for school right here!"

  


"How did you get that?" Brian quirks an eyebrow as Vicky pulls the bean bag chair closer to the coffee table.

  


"I have my ways," What Vicky says sounds good, but the tone makes it sound like she did something illegal.

  


"Vicky…" Amira sounds scolding, "You can't go hacking school servers. Oz has already filled our crime quota for the whole month already."

  


"I didn't hack the school!" Vicky sounds offended as everyone ignores Oz's flustered face, "I just stole Principal Spider's account for a few minutes."

  


"Oh, well I guess it's fine then. As long as you didn't hack anything," Amira leans forward and steals the paper on the top of the stack, "Hmm… the school has a Gym, Theater Stage, Science Labs, a kitchen, a library, and a surprising amount of insurance."

  


"Well, when they're taking in all types of monsters and other oddities I guess structural damage is pretty common," Oz says thoughtfully, "I would probably be more surprised if they didn't have insurance."

  


"Man, these classes look boring!" Amira groans frowning, "I'll have to skip half of these!"

  


"You won't technically _ have _ to skip classes. You could just go anyway and tough it out," Brian suggests. Amira gives Brian a look and he puts his hands up in mock surrender, "Fine! Skip class if you want, I won't stop you."

  


"Guys! We need to stop talking about our education! That's not the important part! We only have so much highschool and we need to make a plan!" Vicky crosses her arms and glares at Amira and Brian.

  


"Plan?" Oz asks.

  


Vicky's attention immediately snaps to Oz, "Yes plan! Are we going to try and be popular or are we going to stay unknown!? Are we aiming to find true love or do we want to stay single and ready to mingle!? There's so many choices?! Oh, and the school has after school activities. Which are we getting involved in?"

  


"Vicky, we'll have enough time to figure that stuff out as we go along. There's no reason to plan out our entire highschool experience," Amira sighs.

  


"But Amira! We have to make the most out of our time there!" Vicky frowns and huffs.

  


Seeing that Vicky is about to get worked up about this Oz steps in to defuse the situation before, "Well, how about instead of planning out highschool as a whole… you just make a bucket list?"

  


"A bucket list?" Vicky turns to Oz questioningly.

  


"Yeah, just think of the things you want to do most at highschool and write them down. That way, you have a guideline of what you want to do, but it doesn't take the fun away."

  


"Oz…" Vicky's eyes light up and she jumps off the couch and pumps her fists in the air, consequently knocking over the stack of papers she had carefully placed on the table, "That is the best idea I've ever heard."

  


Before giving anyone time to react, Vicky drops to the ground and gathers the scattered papers on the ground.

  


"Let me help you pick those-" Before Oz can finish offering his help, Vicky jumps back up to her feet with the pile of papers in her hands.

  


"We won't be needing these anymore," Without any warning Vicky thrusts the stack of papers into Amira's fiery hair.

  


"VICKY!" Amira dives to the right and falls into Oz's lap. 

  


Oz, seeing Vicky's look of determination and a handful of only half burnt papers, does the smart thing and sinks into his own shadow before appearing beside Brian. Brian spares Oz a glance before turning back to the girls with a chuckle. 

  


Without Oz's lap keeping her up, Amira stumbles to the ground with her legs still on the couch. Vicky sees Amira's moment of weakness and lunges forward, "Just let me get rid of these useless papers Amira!" 

  


"MY HAIR IS NOT A FUCKING GARBAGE DISPOSAL VICK!" To avoid Vicky, Amira pulls her legs off the couch and pushes as hard as she can. She slides across the floor and under the glass coffee table.

  


Vicky sails over where Amira was hits the couch corner and Oz turns to Brian, "That is why I bought the extra padded couch."

  


Amira crawls out from under the coffee table and starts booking it. As if hitting the couch didn't hurt at all Vicky stands up to chase her.

  


"Vicky!" Oz mentally shouts, "I know you want to burn those papers, but if you keep burning stuff in Amira's hair you'll set off my fire alarms. You know smoke only comes from her hair when it has fuel."

  


Vicky looks at Oz and then towards the kitchen, where only Amira's eyes are sticking around the corner. Oddly, the scene reminds Oz of an angry cat, but he pushes that thought away.

  


"Oz!" Vicky whines, "I wanna burn these papers though! With our new high school strategy they're useless!"

  


"We could have used the maps so we wouldn't get lost on the first day," Brian finally speaks up from next to Oz, "Not anymore, but they weren't originally useless."

  


"Oh," Vicky places a finger on her chin and looks thoughtful, "I guess you're right."

  


Vicky looks back through the pile of half burnt papers. Amira doesn't ever take her gaze off of Vicky while she does that.

  


"Hey! The map survived!" Vicky takes a single paper from the stack before walking across the room and stuffing all the other paper in the trash, "I can still print it for us to use!"

  


"Hurray," Brian says monotone.

  


Vicky sits back down in the bean bag chair and stuffs the one paper that survived back in her blue mystery backpack. Once she's done, Oz gestures Amira back into the room. Just like an angry cat, Amira's fiery hair is pointed up as she cautiously walks from the kitchen and back to the couch, never letting her eyes leave Vicky.

  


Ailurphobia sees what Oz is thinking and the little jerk decides to step into the spotlight. The little inky figure points at Amira, which catches everyone's attention.

  


As Oz realizes what it's about to do he tries to stop it, "Don't you do it!"

  


The tiny creature giggles before transforming little cat tail and ears before hissing and meowing like an angry cat. Brian, who was taking a sip of his coke, suddenly spits it out and starts laughing. Vicky falls backwards into the bean bag chair and bursts into laughter too. Amira has her eyes glued to Oz's shoulder.

  


Oz grabs the connection between him and the phobia and desperately tries to break it. Ailurophobia seems to take pity on Oz and willingly disappears. Not without cackling maniacally however.

  


"Hey, uh… I would just like to reiterate that I do not have full control over my phobias, and therefore I am not reliable for that," Oz meets gazes with the pissed Amira.

  


"Ok, is it throwing shade at Amira week or something?" Amira crosses her arms and leans back on the couch with a scowl, "I've had to dress like a bush, get paper shoved into my hair, and now I'm getting made fun of by one of Oz's pets."

  


"Hey! They are not pets! They are companions," Oz scolds Amira, and as he does multiple phobias appear all over his body. Some shake their heads in disapproval and others stick their tongues out.

  


"Sorry, companions," Amira corrects herself, "But seriously. If we're done here, I've got some scamming to do, and I prefer not to get teased while I'm doing it."

  


"I don't have any more questions, or at least I think I don't?" Vicky starts flipping through her notepad.

  


"I have some new music to listen to so I'm good to leave our little meeting here," Brian says with a shrug as he crushes his now empty soda can against his leg.

  


"Do you guys want me to bring you home?" Oz asks politely.

  


"I'm good," Amira shrugs.

  


"Your new house is super close to my apartment so I'll just walk," Vicky stands up from the beanbag chair and swings her backpack over her shoulder while still holding her notepad.

  


"I don't need a ride either," Brian throws his crushed soda can and it lands in the trashcan across the room.

  


"Well then I guess goodbye then," Amira and Vicky start towards the door saying goodbyes while Brian follows a little slower. 

  


Oz follows them to the door and sees them out. Just as Oz is about to close the door he remembers something.

  


"Wait guys!" All three of Oz's friends turn back to him, "When we start Spooky High you can't tell anyone me and Damien are friends."

  


"Why?" Amira's gaze sharpens and she frowns.

  


"Well, a bunch of Damien's friends are trying to bet on who I am. Damien put in a ton of money on them not being able to guess who I am by the end of the first day. If you let it slip, we'll lose the bet," Oz explains with a hand on the back of his neck.

  


"Will you be splitting the winnings with Damien?" Vicky tilts her head, "He doesn't seem like one who shares anything."

  


"He shared his detonators with you guys a couple of weeks ago?" Oz points out.

  


"...I guess he did," Vicky says thoughtfully then smiles, "I won't tell a soul you've even met Damien!"

  


Amira chuckles, "I'll only agree if you point out the people who are going to lose."

  


"Of course," Oz chuckles and his eyebrows crinkle to show his amusement, "Are you in Brian."

  


"I wouldn't have answered anyways," Brian shrugs, "I'm not going to tell some stranger about my friend's personal life."

  


"Thanks guys," Oz thanks his friends genuinely.

  


After another round of goodbyes Oz closes the door and smiles. He really is lucky to have them.

  


Oz walks to the back of his houses and grabs a broom and dustpan. Vicky might have thrown away most of the paper, but she didn't get rid of the ashes that got on the floor. Quickly Oz starts sweeping up the tiny grey spots. It takes around thirty minutes to get the ash off the floor, out from under the couch, and everywhere else Vicky and Amira's scuffle sent the mess.

  


Bzzzzz! As Oz returns back to the living room his phone goes off on the coffee table. Scooping the device up, Oz checks his messaging app to find a text from Damien.

  


**AngryHellBoi** : is the fucking loser gang over there or can i show up

  


**FUCKINGNOOB:** You've already met them now, why are you still trying to avoid them?

  


**AngryHellBoi** : i'm taking that as a no, they are not there

  


Before Oz can send another text the familiar sound of a portal opens causes Oz to turn around. Sure enough, Damien's already stepping from Hell and back to the mortal plane.

  


Used to Damien's sudden entrance Oz just continues their conversation in real life, "Are you going to answer my question?"

  


Damien falls backwards onto Oz's couch and then rolls his eyes, "Just because I know the bastards doesn't mean I wanna be their fucking friends."

  


"Why did you let Vicky and Amira blow up buildings then?" Oz sits down on the couch and raises an eyebrow at Damien.

  


"Because they're your friends and you were fucking pouting when they were about to leave," Damien says with another eyeroll.

  


"I-I was not pouting!" Oz says indignantly with a dusting of red.

  


"Sure you weren't," Damien says sarcastically with a smirk, "Anyways I just wanted to come over and watch TV. I'm bored as hell, so it was either coming over here or blowing up another orphanage. As much as I would love to do that, those little orphan shits give me a headache sometimes with all their high pitched screams."

  


Damien reaches forward and grabs the remote to Oz's TV. He really just wanted to hang out with Oz, but he wouldn't tell him that without a good reason to.

  


"We were still trying to finish the Twilight Zone before school right?" Oz says as he heads towards the kitchen to make popcorn.

  


"Yeah, we won't have time to watch it then. We'll be too busy with all the crap I have planned." 

  


Damien connects to Oz's tablet and starts surfing through all the shows and movies he has downloaded. 

  


"What do you have planned?" Oz says mockingly, "Other than arson, fighting, and destruction."

  


"FUCK YOU!" Damien yells from the living room grumpily.

  


A chuckle resounds in the back of Damien's head and he slouches into the couch a little more.

  


"Popcorn's ready!" Oz walks back into the living room, only stopping for a second to turn off the light, before sitting beside Damien and handing him the bowl, "I know you don't like things that aren't crisped, but I am not having the smell of burnt popcorn around my house for another week."

  


"Fine, I'll just do it myself," Damien takes a handful of popcorn and sets it aflame in his hands before blowing it out. He pops the burnt crumbles into his mouth and sends Oz a smug smirk.

  


"I honestly don't know what else I expected," Oz says deadpan.

  


Both monsters settle down on the couch and watch episode after episode. Damien continues burning each handful of popcorn he takes from the bowl and Oz feeds his share of the snack to the phobias on his shoulders. 

  


As one episode ends Damien's phone starts ringing. With a string of curses Damien pulls his phone out to see the caller ID. Oz peaks over to see the name of the caller is Polly.

  


"That's the ghost that likes drugs right?" Oz asks curiously.

  


"Yeah," Damien mutes his phone and lets the call pass.

  


"You aren't going to answer?" 

  


"Hell no! My damn friends keep calling me trying to get clues," Damien growls as he stuffs his phone back in his pocket, "They've been taking turns calling. I bet Vera gave everyone the idea thinking I'd actually fall for it."

  


"What if it's an actual emergency?" Oz tilts his head.

  


"Then it'll be like that old story about the boy that cried wolf and they'll learn a a damn lesson about spamming my fucking phone," Damien snarls out.

  


Oz shrugs a little and feeds another piece of popcorn to one of his phobias, "Ok then, as long as it's not me you're ignoring."

  


Damien turns to Oz in surprise, but finds that his eyes are already glued back to the TV screen, "What the fuck does that even mean?"

  


Oz turns to Damien in confusion and clarifies, "We talk all the time over the phone. I might not call you, but if you just stopped answering my texts I would be pretty concerned. That's why I always answer all my texts even if it's inconvenient. It might just be my anxiety, but I always worry about that stuff."

  


Instead of answering Damien just turns his head and nods while making a mental note not to ever ignore Oz's texts. Not that he would have in the first place.

  


The rest of the night goes calmly as the two make it through episode after episode. At some point in the night Oz jolts in shock suddenly, but Damien was too involved in the show to notice. They make it through about twelve episodes before the popcorn runs out.

  


"Do you want to take a break for me to make more popcorn," Oz turns to Damien as the credits play on the flat screen, "We can probably go through a couple more episodes before you leave."

  


Damien pulls out his phone and checks the time. It's 6:00 P.M. Damien told his dads he would be home around nine so he could stay until eleven.

  


"Sure," Damien stuffs his phone back in his pocket, "It's not like I'll complain about free snacks."

  


"Ok, can you just move your tail then?" Oz gestures at his midsection and Damien looks down.

  


"Ozzie, what are-"

  


Somehow, without Damien realizing it, his tail wrapped around Oz's stomach. The extra appendage is just resting there without moving whatsoever. Damien's face heats up to unmeasurable temperature. 

  


Reacting to Damien's emotions the tail seems to tighten around Oz. Immediately panicking, Damien focuses as hard as possible to detach his tail. The spade tip flicks once before retracting and sliding to Damien's other side.

  


"Why didn't you tell me I did that?!" Damien's voice tries to sound gruff, but ends out cracking a little from embarrassment.

  


"I was going to tell you, but you were really into the show-" seemingly unaware of Damien's embarrassment as Oz awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, "and I realized you probably did it unconsciously and figured it wasn't doing any harm. Then, after a few minutes I kinda just forgot that it was there."

  


Damien hears Ozzie talking, but is too focused on staring at his tail in frustration. When Damien broke his horn he should have realized that there was a much better thing to cut off. As if to mock him, his tail flicks lazily.

  


"...um, d-do you still want popcorn?" Oz stutters out.

  


Realizing Oz asked him a question, Damien looks up. At seeing Oz, his face heats up even brighter, but he fights through the blush.

  


"Yeah, whatever," Damien answers less than enthusiastically.

  


Taking his chance, Oz stands up and rushes into the kitchen. Once Ozzie is gone Damien sinks down into the couch and covers his face with his hands. How could he let his tail do that!? It's never happened before, so why the hell would it do that now?! 

  


Sitting back up Damien grabs his tail and grips it hard. He wishes it was a damn person so he could fucking strangle it. Then another thought hits him. He could have been doing that for hours while they were watching the Twilight Zone. FUCKING HOURS!

  


Damien stares at a spot in the wall as he tries to work out all his embarrassment and destroyed dignity. By the time Oz comes back with popcorn Damien has somewhat recovered from his embarrassment and sucked up enough of his pride to apologize.

  


Oz sits down and sets the popcorn bowl in between them. It sparks a bit of guilt in Damien's chest that Oz is purposefully staying a distance away from him. They stay silent for a moment before-

  


"I'm really sorry," Both Oz and Damien say at the exact same time.

  


"What?!" Damien looks very perplexed, "What the hell are you sorry about? You didn't fucking do anything!"

  


"I didn't tell you about your tail and I obviously should have with how much it upset you," Oz says genuinely while looking Damien in the eyes, "I'm-"

  


"Of course you would think of it that way!" Damien groans loudly and scowls, "Ozzie, you literally did nothing wrong. I'm the one who fucked up and let my tail run rampant! I'm the one who's apologizing, so shut the fuck up and let me do it!"

  


Oz looks at Damien speechless. His eyes are blown wide and his eyebrows are hung higher than usual.

  


"I'm sorry for letting my damn tail do whatever it wanted. I should have been paying attention," Damien growls loudly, "I won't let it happen again. I'm sorry."

  


The first thing that goes through Oz's head is that only Damien could make an apology sound so threatening and sweet. After he gets his apology out Damien crosses his arms and looks away.

  


"Dames…" Oz says quietly, "I really didn't think anything of it. We high five and touch all the time! As I said earlier, I just figured it was an unconscious thing. We both misunderstood each other."

  


Damien couldn't help, but think about how this has never happened before with anyone else. It was new and strange and embarrassing as HELL. Still, Damien sucks it up.

  


"My apology still stands," Damien growls firmly.

  


Oz almost wants to chuckle. When they first met, Damien wouldn't apologize if he blew up your home and stabbed you. Both of which Damien actually did to Oz. Now that they've gotten to know each other and become real friends, Oz gets to see the slightly softer side of Damien.

  


"I still don't think an apology is necessary, but if you feel like you owe me something, then all you have to do is sit there and watch the TV until we get to the next season," Oz hands Damien the popcorn bowl and while speaking lightly.

  


Damien seems to relax a little, "I can do that."

  


Oz closes the distance between him and Damien, leans over the demon's lap, and snatches the remote he dropped on the couch. Sitting back up directly next to Damien, Oz starts the TV. 

  


Damien is relieved this incident didn't make Oz upset, but he still keeps his tail pinned under his leg the rest of the night just in case. He really needs to find out what caused that later. If he accidentally did that to one of his other friends the teasing would be endless. Some voice deep in Damien's head says that this wouldn't have happened if Oz wasn't here, but he ignores it. 


	19. First Day Fiasco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day of Spooky High is upon us. What trouble is our protagonist going to get himself into? Will he give himself away to Damien's friends or will Vicky, Brian, and Amira's chaos cover his track?

Oz is here.

This place goes by many names, government mandatory education, the place where hope dies, Spooky High School etc. No matter what it's called, it's where Oz will be going for the next step of his life.

Oz and his friends stand in front of the gigantic building young and unafraid. They were ready to be reckless, brilliant, plain stupid, but mostly just ready to live their lives to the fullest. Would they actually learn anything on the way? Who knows! It'll be one hell of a ride either way.

"Well, this place definitely looks bigger than the map," Vicky says stupidly as other students pass by the four gawking monsters.

Amira whistles and nods, "Definitely bigger."

Oz watches his friends and shuffles his hands nervously, "Guys, orientation is in five minutes. We got here thirty minutes early and all you've been doing is staring! I hate to say it but if we stay here much longer we're going to be late."

Brian chuckles then turns to Oz, "They could gawk for another thirty minutes and you know it."

"Don't tempt them!" Oz hisses at Brian.

"Fiiiiinne! We'll get going," Vicky turns to Oz and sticks her tongue out, "But I'm going to get there first."

Vicky sprints towards the entrance and weaves between students. Oz and Brian wait for Amira to follow, but turn to her in surprise when she doesn't.

"Are you… not going to run after Vicky?" Brian gestures towards the entrance.

"No offense, but as reckless and oblivious as I am. I am not going to run through our new school's hallways and leave a bad first impression," Amira tosses her hair and struts towards the school's entrance. A couple students stop and watch her as she goes.

After hearing Amira's mature speech Oz immediately looks down at her feet and without turning, talks to Brian, "She got new wedges and she doesn't want to run in them."

"Right on the mark I'd say," Brian nods and rolls his eyes, "How about we head in before we're actually late for orientation."

Oz nods vigorously. Both him and Brian walk through the entrance and into the hallways. The inside is much less impressive than the outside of the school. It looks just like your regular stereotypical highschool. Lockers, water fountains, classrooms, and all other manner of school things are scattered about the hallway.

Oz discreetly pulls Vicky's map from the void and double checks his direction. Even if Oz spent three hours memorizing the layout, it's alright to double check. Plus, Oz is very nervous right now.

When they make it through the halls and into the gymnasium, Brian says the same thing Oz thought when he first read the orientation details, "Why did they do this in the gymnasium instead of in the outdoor theatre?"

"I have no clue," Oz deadpans.

Instead of using the theatre, where everyone could sit comfortably and the principal could speak from the stage, the school put around four dozen folding chairs around the gym and called it quits. Since there obviously isn't enough chairs for everyone most people are just crowded around in small groups standing up.

Oz searches the crowd and spots Vicky and Amira on the far side of the gym by themselves. A gesture in that direction catches Brian's gaze and Oz and him both head towards the girls. While they cross the gym, Oz looks for Damien and his friends. Oz hasn't met the demon's friends before Damien has shown him enough drunk pictures to know what all of them look like. Although Damien and Polly are usually the only ones actually drunk in the photos. 

Oz spots Liam leaning against the wall on his phone with Polly and Scott talking beside him. He notices Miranda using one of her serfs as a chair and Vera already getting money from some poor monster. However, as much as Oz looks around he doesn't see Damien. Eh, he's the type to show up late so Oz doesn't worry about that. After all, why worry about one tiny thing when there's millions of tiny things to worry about.

No sooner do Brian and Oz reach Vicky and Amira when the lights turn off in the gymnasium. All the monsters in the gym without night vision start whispering in shock and confusion. Oz just blinks and everything becomes as clear as if the lights were still on.

"What's going on Oz?" Amira asks without moving an inch. All his friends already know about Oz's night vision.

"I think that the Principal and the school staff are trying to make a dramatic entrance," There's a loud thud as a teacher that looks like a tiger trips and falls directly on his face, "And they're doing a terrible job at it."

Vicky giggles when she connects the dots and figures out what the bang was, "Which one fell?"

"The one that looks like a tiger," Oz responds amused.

The lights come back on and Principal Spider is standing in the center of the gym on a makeshift podium surrounded by all the other school staff.

"Hello new students of Spooky High School! I'm sure you're ready for the best years of your life, am I right?!" Principal spider raises seven of his arms while using the eighth to hold a megaphone.

The entire gym stays quiet as nobody responds to the arachnid principal.

"Ehem, well, I know I'm excited for new students to teach!" Principal Spider seems unperturbed by the lack of responses and continues, "All of these lovely monsters at my side are going to be your teachers this year. Now, I know you're all just dying to hear how your classes will work, so I'll have Coach explain it to you!"

The tiger that Oz now knows is Coach takes his place on the podium once Principal Spider steps down. Anything that the coach says next is drowned out by Vicky and Amira's incessant chuckling. Oz gives Coach a once over and sure enough there's a newly forming bruise on his forehead from the fall. Three phobias start laughing on Oz and they use his shirt to muffle their own squeaks of amusement.

A few nearby monsters eye the two girls with confusion, but quickly turn back to Coach to hear his infodump.

All he's doing is explaining how the different after school activities work while introducing the normal class teachers. Most of the stuff seems self explanatory so Oz tunes into his friends quiet conversation instead of listening.

"What are you guys going to sign up for afterschool?" Vicky asks curiously.

"I'll probably try out Football," Brian says with a shrug, "It looks fun."

"I knew you liked sports, but I've never actually seen you play," Oz says with a tilt of his head.

"Well, you'll get to see me today," Brian shrugs, "I know you probably aren't going to sign up for anything, so you're welcome to come watch me try out."

"Hey wait!" Vicky grabs Oz by the shoulders and tugs him forward so they're face to face, "You've got to join the baking club Oz."

"W-what?! Why?" 

"Oh my god," Amira gasps drooling, "You're a genius Vicky! Imagine if Oz made cake just as good as his pancakes!"

"I know right!" Vicky's got stars in her eyes.

"I already told you my food is not  _ that _ good!" Oz tugs away from Vicky and rubs the back of his neck.

"Yes it is," Brian states plainly.

"B-but cooking is different-" 

"Please Oz!?" Vicky pops up in front of Oz and uses her best puppy dog eyes. 

Amira joins her shortly, "You wouldn't deny your friends baked goodies would you?!"

Oz looks to Brian for support, but he just watches on without reacting, "I'm also very for the idea of eating baked goods Oz. You will have no help from me."

Accepting his fate, Oz sighs, "Ok, I'll join the club after school."

Amira and Vicky grab each other's hands and start buzzing with excitement. 

"What clubs are you two going to try for?" Oz hopes directing the conversation somewhere else will stop the two from squealing.

"Pft… I'm gonna be too busy partying to join some school club," Amira scoffs.

Oz nods at Amira.

"Hmmm… well I don't know. I haven't really thought about it," Vicky taps her chin thoughtfully, "I didn't put anything about after school clubs on my bucket list for high school. Although if Brian is doing football I might just go to his practices instead of signing up for something."

"Why don't you just join the cheerleading team then?" Oz suggests.

"Ew…" Vicky sticks her tongue out, "Their outfits are so weird and look uncomfortable!"

"Why don't you just go and be Brian's personal cheerleader then?" Amira chuckles at Brian's increasingly scared expression.

Vicky's face lights up, "I could come to all the games and make signs just for Brian! I could make my own chants and even bring snacks for him after practices!"

"You're going to be his football mom," Oz deapans.

Vicky gasps again then excitedly hisses, "I'm gonna be a football mom!"

Brian frantically looks between his three friends, "Is it too late to say I don't want to play football."

Amira and Oz glance at Vicky then turn to Brian, "Suffer."

"-and now that you know about your classes, we'll be handing out maps with your schedules, so you don't get lost!" Coach shouts into the megaphone gaining the four friends attention.

"THEY MADE MINIMAPS!" Vicky yelps loudly, "But I spent all that time making ours!"

As Amira pats Vicky on the back to calm her down, Oz spots a familiar red demon sneak into the gym. Damien glances around, spots Oz, nods once, then walks in the general direction Oz saw his friends earlier.

"Now that you've been properly informed, GO TO YOUR CLASSES!" By the end of his sentence Coach sounds more like he's yelling at a group of disrespectful students than greeting new students.

Oz reaches through the shadow and grabs four maps from on top of the pile next to the gym door before everyone converges on them.

Turning around Oz hands each of his friends one.

"Phew, I thought we might have to join that mosh pit of kids," Amira sighs in relief.

"We would have come out on top if we had to fight," Brain states confidently.

"Guys! Come on, we've got to get to classes before we're late," Oz starts ushering his friends towards the door.

"Actually I was thinking of-" 

Oz cuts Amira off, "You promised you wouldn't skip any classes on the first day!"

"Dammit."

\-----------------Chem Class---------------

The first class they had for the day is Chemistry. The teacher inside definitely seemed like a mad doctor, but everyone in the classroom listened to him anyways. Of course they only listened to him because he said to do whatever they wanted, but authority is authority.

"~Ohhhh I know what we're gonna do!" Vicky smiles mischievously as she eyes the cabinets full of dangerous chemicals.

"What?" Amira asks warily.

"WE ARE GOING TO PERFORM THE EXPERIMENT OF THE CENTURY!" Vicky cackles malevolently.

Multiple monsters step away from the four friends as Vicky laughs like an evil scientist. The mad doctor who was napping at his desk looks up for a moment and nods in approval at Vicky before laying his head back down. What kind of teachers work at this school?!

As Vicky starts collecting different supplies from the cabinets, Oz looks around the room. Only a few other students stand out. There's the three goth looking girls stirring some type of cauldron with glowing green liquid while mumbling about curses, Polly trying to make drugs with the lab equipment, and Oz pays particular attention to Scott, who seems to be having a lot of trouble putting on lab goggles. 

Oz makes his way across the room and walks up to Scott, "Do you need help with those?"

"HUH?" Scott starts glancing around frantically in confusion, "POLLY! I HAVE A VOICE IN MY HEAD!"

Without looking up from her drug creating contraption Polly yells back, "We all do Scott! Don't worry about it!"

"Phew…" Scott says wiping his forehead, "I thought I had a tiny person in my head."

Oz taps Scott's arm lightly, "Actually, that was me. I'm sorry for interrupting what you were doing, but would you like help with your goggles?"

Scott looks at Oz and looks confused, "You just spoke inside my brain?"

"Y-yes," Oz shuffles awkwardly.

"Oh! Then it's nice to meet you, mister voice in my head!" Scott sends Oz a smile. 

Oz has to look away from the blinding light. If Vicky had a 1,000-watt charge then Scott's smile has to have the power of 10,000-watts behind it.

"My name is Oz actually," he introduces himself, "I want to help you put your goggles on."

"My name is Scott. I would love your help but I think these goggles are actually cursed," Scott offers Oz the goggles so he can inspect them.

"I don't think they're cursed, watch," Oz pulls the goggles over his head and adjusts them over his eyes, "You just put them on like this."

Scott stares at Oz as if he just hung the moon, "Let me try!"

Oz takes the goggles off and hands them back to Scott. The werewolf grabs the goggles and tries to do the same thing as Oz. After a couple of tries he gets them on correctly.

"I DID IT POLLY!" Scott turns towards the ghost and shouts excitedly.

"Great job Scott! Now come over her and help!" 

Scott turns back to Oz for a second and smiles again, "THANK YOU MISTER VOICE!"

As Scott runs across the classroom back to Polly Oz calls after him, "My name is Oz."

"OZ, AMIRA, BRIAN!" Oz turns around quickly at Vicky's panicked voice.

He rushes back to his friends' lab table to see that Vicky placed multiple chemicals of different color all over the area, but that's not what caught his eye. It was Vicky who seemed on the verge of crying.

"What's wrong-"

Vicky interrupts Oz, "I found this poor dead frog behind the empty bottles! Look at him, the poor thing even has a little lightning bolt on his back!"

Amira, Brian and Oz lean forward, and sure enough, the frog had a mark on it's back that looked remarkably close to a lightning bolt. 

"Oh Vick…" Amira says softly, "I'm so-"

"Get me my backpack!" Vicky shouts urgently. When her friends stare at her confused she repeats herself, "Somebody get my backpack!"

Shaking off his stupor first, Brian rushes across the room and throws Vicky's backpack to Amira. The moment tha bag is in Amira's hands Vicky shoves the dead frog to Oz and snatches it from Amira. Even in his shock Oz is careful not to drop the frog corpse.

At this point most of the other students in the room are watching as Vicky pulls a full car battery out of her backpack along with a couple jumper cables. As Vicky arranges the items on the table she suddenly turns to Oz with grabby hands. Getting the point, Oz carefully hands Vicky the frog. She sets the dead creature on the center of the table before attaching the jumper cables to each of the frogs limbs.

"CLEAR!" Vicky suddenly rubs both of her hands together super quickly which builds up an electric charge and shoves them at the frog.

Sparks of electricity spark from Vicky and into the frog. She quickly activates her special car battery and more electricity streams into the tiny dead frog and it sends Vicky's hair straight up into the air. The whole room goes quiet for a moment as they all wait for what comes next. 

The frog twitches, then twitches again before all it's legs start to wriggle frantically as it pushes itself upwards into a normal frog position. 

"IT'S ALIVE!" Vicky scoops the tiny frog into her hands and squeals in delight.

The frog twitches in Vicky's hands a little as electricity sparks under it's skin. Oz can't help but take notice that the frog looks a little more yellow than before. Vicky lifts the frog directly in front of her face and stares at it. The frog makes eye contact with Vicky before letting out a loud croak.

"I'm keeping it!" Vicky shouts loudly as she hugs the frog gently to her chest.

"Did you just bring a frog back from the dead Vick?" Amira says shocked.

"Yes. Yes she did," Oz confirms.

"That is the absolute most ridiculous thing I've ever seen!" All four friends, and a frog, turn to see Polly floating above their lab table with star filled eyes.

"SHE BROUGHT THE LITTLE FROG BACK TO LIFE WITH LOVE!" All four friends turn again to see Scott tearing up as he looks at Vicky.

"I didn't bring it back to life with love!" Vicky corrects, "I brought him back with the power of electricity! Love was only a vaiable!"

Scott steps forward and stares at the tiny creature in Vicky's hand fully enraptured, "Can I hold him?"

Vicky's face tints a little pink as she looks at the werewolf before she carefully offers the frog to him, "S-sure, I'm naming him Harold."

"Harold?" Brian raises an eyebrow, "Like Harold from Dragon Heat?"

"Shuddup!" Vicky hisses to Brian as her face darkens in hue.

Ignoring Brian and Vicky, Scott holds out his hands and Vicky passes the newly named Harold to Scott.

"Hello Harold!" Scott lifts up the frog so that it's eye level with him, "You're very yellow and sparky!"

As Vicky watches Scott intensely, the werewolve's tail starts to wag back and forth quickly. Before long though, a loud bell rings and scares Harold. The tiny yellow frog jumps in a random direction and lands directly on Amira's face. 

"VICKY! GET YOUR FROG OFF MY FACE!" Amira shouts in surprise and urgency.

Vicky lunges forward and pulls the tiny frog off of Amira's nose. She holds Harold in her hands carefully and caresses it. 

"Sorry mister werewolf, but we've got to go to our next class now," Vicky pouts in Scott's direction, "Maybe I can let you hold Harold again later."

"That's fine! Oh, and my name's Scott!"

"I'm Vicky!" Both monsters smile at each other and Oz looks away and covers his eyes from the blinding light.

"Come on guys we're going to be late!" Oz pesters then talks to Vicky privately, "If you need me to keep Harold in the void for a little while just ask me."

"Sorry, you're right Oz. We need to get going," Vicky shoves the car battery and other stuff back in her backpack and smooths down her gravity defying hair, "Maybe I'll see you again later Scott!"

"I would like that!" Scott replies with his tail still wagging.

As Vicky, Oz, Amira, and Brian rush out of the classroom, Polly floats closer to Scott with a pout, "I wanted to hold the frog too!"

"That girl was nice. I like her. Do you think she's Damien's friend?" Scott turns to Polly questioningly.

"Oh hell yeah! It's definitely her!" Polly replies chuckling.

\------------------Study Hall-----------------

The second period Oz has today is still with all his friends. Study hall is pretty much free for all time. Although all day is pretty much free for all time anyways with how lax the rules are. I mean Oz hasn't seen a single monster other than his friend group actually stick to the schedule, and they're only doing that because it's the first day!

After a bit of discussion all four head to the library together. Vicky wants to get closer to her new pet, Amira wants to gamble on the computers there, and Brian and Oz just want to relax. The first day already took a very unexpected turn so a little calm might stop more chaotic things from happening. Oz hates that he already jinxed himself.

Everything is going fine for a little while, the library stays quiet, nobody does anything destructive, and overall things are peaceful. Until Liam and Miranda start arguing at the corner table in the library. Oz tries to tune them out, but they soon become too loud to just ignore. If the annoyed look on Brian's face is anything to go by he feels the same way.

"I'm telling you Miranda, it's not true art if the painter has no vision! You cannot just have your serfs paint things and say that it's art," Liam looks to be getting increasingly annoyed.

"Liam, you just don't understand!" Miranda shakes her head slightly, "The serfs do have a vision! They can see what they're painting perfectly fine and their reason is to satisfy me!"

"That's not what a vision is," Liam readjusts his glasses on his nose, "A vision has to be a deeper meaning. It has to show heart and thoughtfulness. Paintings that are made for no other reason than to be made are no better than garbage. Have you ever seen Mark Wolvesteam's art? Because that's an artist with a vision."

"I simply don't think you're hearing me. Allow me to show you art," Miranda claps her hands three times, "Mermando! Bring me the painting you made to commemorate my first day at Spooky High, and make it snappy!" 

A very fishlike person comes running from behind the shelves of the library. He's holding a large canvas that's much bigger than him. The man runs up to Miranda and acts as an eiasil for the painting.

"Isn't it magnificent! Mermando has vision and follows my orders to a T!" Miranda smiles.

"Thank you for the compliments-"

Mermando gets cut off by Miranda, "Do not speak unless spoken to Mermando. Your opinion is not needed here."

"Miranda, it's a picture of a book," Liam says shaking his head, "There's nothing to it! When I look at that the only emotion I feel is boredom."

Miranda seems to consider Liam's words before turning back to the painting, "I guess a single book is quite a boring subject, but what would make a more interesting topic?"

"I-I'm sorry my art is not to your liking princess," Mermando quivers behind his canvas, "I promise to find a more interesting muse to paint for you next time."

Miranda seems to ignore her serf's words until her eyes light up, "There's no need for that Mermando. I've just come up with a very interesting subject for you to paint. How about an execution?"

Mermando pales at the suggestion and Miranda claps again, "Bring the guillotine out!"

At this point both Oz and Brian share a look of, 'Oh shit, she's actually going to kill somebody in the library.'

"Should I get Amira and Vicky, so we can go?" Oz asks nervously, "I can see this situation going south really fast."

Brian just shakes his head, "I doubt that'll happen, just watch."

Oz flashes Brian a skeptical look, but returns his attention to the back table as two more fishlike people wheel in an actual guillotine.

"P-please princess! I'll paint anything you want! P-please don't kill me," Mermando sobs uncontrollably.

Miranda only chuckles, "Oh Mermando, I'm not going to kill you yet! You're the only one who knows how to paint silly!"

"Good art does usually come from traumatized minds," Liam says thoughtfully.

"Oh that too," Miranda nods to Liam, "It also might make the other serfs more motivated."

Once the two serfs bringing the guillotine in hear this, they speed out of the library as fast as possible.

"Where are you going?!" Miranda shouts in dismay, "I need somebody to execute!"

"They really are making a scene," Oz comments, "Do they not know libraries are supposed to be quiet?"

Brian growls in frustration, "I really don't think so. Wait here for a moment Oz."

Brian stands up and starts towards their table as Miranda continues pouting about runaway serfs.

"What are you doing Brian!?" Oz whispers after him.

"Hey, you two," Both Miranda and Liam look up, "You do know that libraries are supposed to be quiet right?"

Miranda looks unfazed and Liam rolls his eyes.

"I do know that libraries are supposed to be quiet," Miranda tilts her head to the side, "Why did you think I wouldn't?"

"Miranda, he's telling us to be quiet," Liam explains.

"What?!" Miranda looks at Liam in surprise, "We aren't above the normal noise level are we?"

When Brian realizes Miranda's just ignorant of her own volume he lightens up a bit, "I just wanted to ask you to quiet down a bit."

"Tsk, like we need to do what some random zombie says. Your kind are a dime a dozen," Liam comments.

Brian just rolls his eyes at Liam's attitude and turns back to Miranda, "If I get you someone to decapitate will you stop bickering so loudly?"

Liam looks shocked and a little annoyed by the fact Brian just completely ignored his comments, but Miranda just gasps.

"You have someone willing to get decapitated?! That's perfect! Bring them over and I promise we'll keep our art discussions to a minimum."

Brian turns back to the table Oz is sitting at, "Hey Oz, you mind coming over her a sec?"

Already seeing where this situation is heading, Oz walks over to the guillotine and waits. 

"Oh! Are you the one getting decapitated?" Miranda places a finger on her chin and tilts her head like a child.

"Oh, Oz isn't doing that," Brian says boredly, "I just couldn't pull the lever myself."

"What-" Liam begins to ask a question, but Brian cuts him off.

"You still have one of my special sewing kits right?" When Oz nods Brian walks behind the guillotine and sticks his head in, "Hey painter guy."

Mermando looks at Brian in pity and horror.

"Make sure you paint this right the first time so I don't have to do this again," Brian waves to Oz, who already has his hands on the wooden lever, "Bombs away."

Oz pulls the lever and the metal blade comes down with a swish. There's a thud as Brian's head hits the floor and Mermando makes a horrified gagging noise. Miranda just stares in shock and Liam seems to be having some kind of confused mental crisis.

Oz just leans forward and glances down at Brian's head, "Do you need me to pick you up, or do you want to try and use your body?"

"It would be easier if you picked me up," Brian said amused, "I'm not going to try and move my body like this."

Miranda seems shocked that the decapitated head spoke. Liam is still staring at the two monsters at the guilitine in complete confusion. He's even more confused by the fact Oz seemingly talked to Brian without saying anything.

Oz walks around the guillotine and picks Brian's head up with both hands before helping Brian's body stand up straight. The zombie's body grabs it's head and holds it steady on the neck stub.

"Hope that gives your painter some material," Brian says while walking away from the two and back to his original table.

Oz follows behind Brian and sits beside them once they reach their seats. Oz subtly reaches through a shadow and grabs Brian's sewing kit.

"That was a bit melodramatic for your usual way of going about things," Oz comments.

"Eh, they were being rude to everyone here and I couldn't hear my music," Brian supplies as Oz uses a special needle and thread to sew his head back on, "Plus, I'm not against unnecessary violence, but I didn't want to see a ton of blood today. Hey actually-"

"What?" Oz sighs.

"I know the Mark Wolvestream that vampire guy was talking about earlier. Tell the painter that if he wants to impress them he has to make it look as unrealistic as possible with lots of dark colors."

"Really?" Oz asks curiously.

"Yeah, trust me."

"Ok," Oz stops sewing Brian's head and turns Mermando, "Don't say anything. I know how to help you paint what they want."

The serf tenses mid stroke of the canvas and looks around. He meets gazes with Oz and his eyes widen.

"If you want to paint the right thing you have to make the painting look unrealistic and use a dark color scheme."

Mermando pauses a moment in though, shifts his gaze to Brian, then nods a little before he continues painting. Oz turns back to continue sewing Brian's head when-

"What the hell did you two do in the thirty minutes we were gone?!" Oz looks up to see an annoyed Amira.

"Yeah, why do you always leave us out of the fun?" Vicky pouts with Harold on her head.

As Oz explains what just happened to him and Brian while Liam and Miranda have their own, more quiet, conversation.

"That zombie was quite the character wasn't he Liam?" Miranda turns to her now, less shell shocked friend, "Liam?"

Liam seems to break out of whatever mental trap he was in and blushes while looking annoyed, "He came over her and told us to be quiet, ignored my insults, and decapitated himself so your artist could make a better painting. I would say he's quite the character."

"He was quite reckless. If he wasn't so calm I would think he's related to Damien," Miranda's brain catches up to her mouth, "You don't think he's the mystery friend, do you?"

Liam smirks at Miranda, "We did tell Damien he makes predictable friends didn't we. I think this proves our point."

"P-Princess the new piece is done," Mermando turns his new canvas around to show the two monsters.

The canvas is dark and has the barely recognizable outline of a green head surrounded by black shadows with faces.

"It's definitely better than the first one," Liam comments to Miranda.

"Hm, I guess so."

\----------------------Gym---------------------- 

After two periods of trouble and shenanigans Oz is hoping and praying for gym to just go normal. Just exercising and physical things that Oz can just do without thinking. Vicky and Brian didn't even have gym with him, so it was only Oz and Amira. Hopefully he could just keep her out of trouble.

All hope for a peaceful class goes out the window the moment Oz realizes who's also in his class. As Oz uses his abilities to change into the gym clothes quickly, a certain red demon walks into the locker room. Oz sighs deeply and turns around to greet his friend.

"Damn, don't fucking sigh like that when I enter a room," Damien says jokingly, "I'll think you don't like me."

Realizing he actually projected his own sigh Oz feels the heat pool in his cheeks, "That's not what I meant by the sigh. I just know that gym isn't going to be the break I expected it to be."

"Why did you want gym to be a break?" Damien asks curiously.

"We're not even halfway through the school day and Vicky already reanimated a corpse and Brian got decapitated."

Damien bursts out laughing, "The zombie got his fucking head chopped off! How the hell did that happen?!"

"Liam and Miranda were the cause actually," Oz answers with a chuckle. 

Damien's laughter peters off. Oz already interacted with some of his friends? That shouldn't be as annoying to hear as it is. Damien never told Oz he couldn't talk to them or anything, he just said he couldn't say he was Damien's friend. For a moment Damien can't think of a more annoying thing he's ever done. 

"So you talked to Miranda and Liam?" Damien asks slowly.

"And Polly and Scott," Oz adds.

"Did they-" 

"I didn't tell them I'm your friend," Oz chuckles again, "Don't worry. We're winning this bet."

That was not what Damien was going to ask, but he goes along with it anyways, "Just wanted to make sure."

"I know," Oz says happily, "Well, I've already got changed, so I'll see you in the gymnasium."

"Whatever Ozzie," Something in Damien wishes he would have come to the locker room a little earlier, before Oz got dressed.

With one last wave goodbye from Oz and some of his phobias, Damien watches his best friend head out to the gym. Warning Oz about Vera comes as an afterthought.

Damien walks out from the men's locker room only to get stopped by Amira who grabs his arm and drags him across the gym. The moment she stops Oz turns to her in confusion.

"Why did you do that?" 

"I heard the coach say something about dodgeball and I  _ am _ getting you on my team," Amira says quickly.

"Why do you want me on your team?"

"Because you have shadow hopping, duh!" Amira hits Oz on the back of the head lightly.

"What does shadow hopping have to do with dodgeball?" 

"What?! You can throw balls directly through people's own shadow and hit their other teammates! It's absolutely foolproof!" Amira says passionately.

"I might not even be on your team and you just gave me a perfect strategy for taking anybody out," Oz points out dryly.

Amira calms down completely and raises an eyebrow, "If you don't get on my team or mister red's you'll just let yourself get hit and sit on the bench. It's almost guaranteed that you won't use it on me, but if you do I'll go out in glorious defeat."

Oz wants to argue, he really does, but the truth is the truth. With a sigh Oz accepts Amira's plan, and dodgeball shaming.

Damien walks out of the locker room and without even thinking about it, scans the gym for Oz. Once spotted, Damien sighs and searches for Vera, who is standing directly beside him.

"So… it's the fire girl?" Vera smirks.

"WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM!?" Damien jumps back a little and unconsciously lights his hand on fire.

"I walked up to you while you were making googly eyes at fire hair over there," Amira says arrogantly.

"Shut the hell up Vera," Damien growls slowly.

"Hmm, you still want to deny it? Fine," Vera chuckles, "I'll just have to have a chat with her and confirm my assumption."

Vera starts walking across the gym directly towards Oz and Amira, but before she makes it to the two, Coach blows a whistle. Everyone in the gym turns towards the tiger and quiets down.

"Pay attention! As much as I love making all of you lift weights till you drop and pass out, the principal said I can't do that anymore, so we're going to play dodgeball!"

Amira sends Oz an 'I told you so look' and puts an arm around Oz's shoulders. Damien watches with closed fists.

"I'm gonna pick the captains then you'll take turns choosing teammates!" Coach scans the room then points to Vera, "You! You'll be the first captain!"

Vera looks over her shoulder and sends a cocky wave at Damien, who is already fuming at not being chosen to lead.

"The second will be… you!" Coach points to a blue skinned demon with scars that's glaring at Damien.

Both of the girls walk up to the middle of the gym as everyone else crowds around them.

"I'll pick first," Vera pushes the blue demon twice her size out of the way, "The girl with the fire hair. Get over her."

Amira rushes to the gorgon's side and immediately sends her a glare, "My name is Amira."

Vera smirks at Amira, "Nice name I guess, better not drag my team down. I'm Vera Oberlin."

Amira sends Vera a glare, but relents her gaze the moment the blue demon makes a move to pick her first teammate. 

"You there," The girl points to a buff looking monster next to Oz. As the monster walks over to the demon she smiles, "Welcome to my team! I'm Dahlia Aquino, we will destroy our competition in unity!"

Both Vera and the demon named Dahlia continue taking turns picking players. As the crowd of free monsters grows smaller and smaller, Oz is unsurprised he's one of the last to get picked. His form is relatively small and very lean, so he can understand why no one would pick him. Oz is surprised however, that Damien is yet to be picked too. Sure, he can understand why Vera is avoiding him with the bet going on, but Dahlia seems to be purposefully avoiding Damien for some reason too if her glares are anything to go by. 

Soon enough the crowd of free monsters is narrowed down to Oz, Damien, and some random dwarf. The obvious pick of the three is Damien, but Dahlia just ignores him and looks between Oz and the smaller monster.

"Uh, shadow kid," Dahlia points to Oz, "You're mine."

Damien's fists tighten considerably at Dahlia's terminology and he glares at her as Oz walks to stand behind her.

"Hmm, well I'll take the tiny one then. He might make a good living shield," Vera shrugs as the last free monster other than Damien rushes to her team, "You get Damien."

"What?! NO!?" Dahlia points to Vera, "You take him!"

"If I take him I'll have two more players than your team. It's only fair that you get Damien on your team," Vera explains nonchalantly. 

Vera could care less about fairness, but having Damien on her team might allow him to interrupt her investigation of Amira. It'll be easier for her if he's on Dahlia's team instead.

Dahlia glances between Vera and Damien in frustration, "FINE! Get over here LaVey!"

Whatever confusion Oz would have had at Dahlia knowing Damien's name is washed away as he stands beside Oz muttering under breath.

"Fucking 6th circle bitch, always fucking with my damn life," Damien curses.

"You know her?" Oz asks curiously without turning his head.

"Long story," Damien says under his breath, "Might tell you later."

Both teams walk to a different side of the gym to get prepared while Coach sets out the ball in between the two teams. 

Dahlia purposely bumps into Damien and growls, "Stay out of my way LaVey."

"You stay out of my way Aquino," Damien retorts, "That is, unless you want to be set on fire."

Oz elbows Damien in the ribs as Dahlia walks away, "Be polite! We're on the same team!"

"She fucking started it!" Damien crosses his arms. 

Oz rolls his eyes and chuckles, "I know, I know. How about we listen to the captain's plan now."

Oz and Damien take a few steps closer to hear Dahlia's plan, but are surprised to see that she does not have a plan.

On the other side of the gym, Vera and Amira are having a massive stare down. All the other monsters back away from the two badass girls and wait to see what happens next. 

"We need to divide our team into an attack force and a defence force," Vera says smoothly, "You'll do better on defence."

"I am  **not** going to be somebody else's living shield!" Amira states stubbornly.

Vera had meant this as a test to see if Amira was just as headstrong as Damien, making her an even better candidate as being the mystery friend, but soon it actually turned into a real argument.

"You aren't going to be a human shield. You're going to be the offensive team's support!" Vera says hotly as her snakes hiss in annoyance.

"If I'm not on the offensive our team will lose!" Amira growls.

"I'm not going to let you through just because you think you're some type of hot shot player," Vera retorts.

Amira glares at Vera another minute before sighing and crossing her arms, "I'm not being some hot shot, I'm just saying that my friend is on the other team and he'll mess us up if I'm not up there to stop him."

Vera blanches. Did this flame girl just openly admit that Damien is her friend and that she can fight him? 

Unwillfully, an arrogant smirk graces her lips, "A friend on the other team you say? Fine, I'll bite. Do what you think is best, but if we lose, you'll owe me one."

All the other monsters on Vera's team feel a shiver go down their spine, but Amira seems unphased, "You've got a deal!"

Both monsters shake hands and Vera smiles. This Amira character is like the female, less violent, copy of Damien, Vera concludes. She's bound to win this bet.

Back with Damien and Oz.

"...use your brute strength and skill to beat our opponents into the dust!" She yells to her teammates, "We just need to overpower them!"

"That is not a plan," Damien deapans to Oz with an amused smirk.

"WHAT WAS THAT LAVEY!" Dahlia stomps past Oz and straight to Damien.

Damien scoffs, "You don't have an actual plan, you're just telling everyone to go for a free for all."

"WHY YOU-"

**Fweeeeeeet!**

Coach's whistle cuts off whatever Dahlia was about to say, "GO!"

Everyone in the gym freezes a moment before realizing that meant the game just started. Dahlia and Amira are the first people on both sides to rush towards the ball in the center of the gym. Damien would have to if it weren't for Oz stopping him with his arm.

"What the fuck are you doing Ozzie?!" Damien turns to Oz with a curious scowl.

"Wait a moment," As the rest of the monsters converge on the center of the gym, Oz crouches and pulls two dodgeballs out of his own shadow, "Amira gave me the perfect strategy earlier because she thought we'd be on the same team."

"What is it?" Damien grabs one of the balls from Oz.

"Throw that ball directly behind Dahlia at the ground," Oz directs.

Trusting Oz blindly, Damien does as he's asked and chucks the ball at the ground. Instead of bouncing and richeting like a normal ball, this one disappears through the ground.

"Did you just-?"

"Right through her shadow and out someone else's," Oz confirms.

"OH HELL YEAH!" Damien growls as Oz starts summoning more dodgeballs from his shadow and throwing them.

Without waiting for further instructions Damien grabs another dodgeball off the ground, lights it on fire, then throws it near Dahlia again. A loud scream of terror is heard from the other team as some poor monster gets hit with a flaming ball.

"YOU'RE OUT!" Coach points at each person that gets hit and ushers them off the court. Some have burns and others have bruises. 

The first flaming ball Amira sees hit her teammate in the gut. The second one comes out of nowhere and Amira barely jumps out of the way. Already knowing Oz's strategy, Amira scans the other side of the gym. It takes a bit, but Oz leaves himself open. Amira grabs a dodgeball off the ground, sticks it in her hair to light it on fire then flings it at Oz.

It's about to hit Oz when a certain demon shouts something unintelligible from across the gym to Oz. Faster than Amira thought he could move, Oz was out of the way and throwing a ball back at Amira in retaliation. As Amira sides steps the ball she has no hopes of catching, she realizes how difficult winning is going to be.

Vera watches from the back as Amira throws ball after ball with vicious speed and accuracy. Unlike Damien, who is throwing at random, Amira picks and chooses her targets carefully. The gorgan took particular interest when Amira launched a flaming ball at some monster with pitch black skin and white eyes. The entire match so far Vera hasn't taken her eyes off the Djinn. If she had, Vera might have seen Damien and Oz back to back throwing dodgeballs that disappeared and then reappeared. She might have even been able to catch the one that hit her in the pelvis.

"TEAM ONE'S CAPTAIN HAS FALLEN!" Coach yells from the sideline.

Vera watches as the ball that hit her rolls away in surprise and shock, "What?"

"Don't worry Vera!" The gorgan looks up to see Amira throwing another ball towards the opposing team before jogging over to her, "We'll avenge you and win!"

Amira sets a hand on Vera's shoulder with a look of determination. Very few times in Vera's life would she say she's been rendered speechless, but now is one of them. With Amira's fiery hair spiked, soft hand on Vera's shoulder, and green piercing eyes offering vengeance, Vera can feel the tint on her cheeks.

"Ok," Vera says stupidly then curses herself for her ineptitude with speaking.

Amira nods once then returns to the as Vera despondent makes her way over to the bench. Vera is torn between rooting for her original team and hoping the enemy wins. She wouldn't mind Amira owing her a favor.

Damien and Oz continue taking down student after student with their shadow technique awhile before they have to switch to just normal throwing. While Vera is out of the game, it only seemed to make her teammates kick it up a gear and become more ruthless. As Amira and Damien barrage the other with flaming projectiles, Oz blends into the background and takes out the other less skilled players. 

The next big player to get knocked out of the game is Dahlia. Trying to get in on the action between the two fiery competitors, Dahlia throws a ball at Amira. The ball sails through the air at great speed, but Amira simply catches it with one hand and turns to the blue shell shocked demon.

"You're out," Amira smirks.

"HEY! THAT'S MY LINE!" Coach shouts from the side of the gym, "But she is right! THE CAPTAIN OF THE SECOND TEAM HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

The next few minutes it's a game of cat and mouse as Amira tries to hit Damien and Oz while all the other players get taken out. Only three people are left on the court soon. Damien and Oz represent Dahlia's team and Amira's the sole survivor of Vera's. 

"Are you ready to get decimated bitch!?" Damien shouts while dual-wielding flaming ammo.

"I think you're mistaken, I'm gonna burn that damn smirk right off your face when I-" A dodgeball whizzes past Amira's head and she turns to glare at Oz, "I was trash talking! Don't interrupt me!"

Oz shrugs while already holding another dodgeball, "If I didn't shut you two up you'd be going on until the end of the day."

"No I wouldn't!"

"Shut the fuck up!"

Everyone out of the game gets confused at both fiery students' response to seemingly nothing.

Damien throws both his flaming balls and Oz throws a third. Amira dives to the ground and makes one last throw. If this ball doesn't hit then she'll be left vulnerable on the ground and immediately be taken out. All three of team two's balls go over Amira, her ball on the other hand hits Damien in the kneecap before richoteting and hitting Oz in the gut.

"THE LAST TWO MEMBERS OF TEAM TWO ARE OUT! TEAM ONE WINS!" Coach yells and the whole gym erupts into applause as all of Vera's team runs up and lifts Amira in the air.

"WE WON GUYS! HELL YEAH!" Amira screams in victory, "WOOOOO!"

Once everyone calms down and Amira's back on her own two feet, Coach has them play again. None of the following games are as dramatic.

As he walks out of the gym, Oz and Damien fist bump when no one is looking. They won the other two games for their team. 

"Next up is lunch," Oz chuckles, "Let's see if any of your friends figured us out."

"Like we even need to see," Damien rolls his eyes, "We've got a large bounty of cash in our future Ozzie."

"Just call me over once they all place their bets," Oz chuckles and walks away. As he leaves multiple phobias appear on his shoulders and wave after Damien.

"Sure Ozzie," Damien waves goodbye after him with a surprisingly nonthreatening smile.


	20. Who won? Isn't it obvious.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to see who won the bet! Is it Damien and Oz, who were able to hide their close friendship in the background by letting Oz's friends shine, or it it any of Damien's other friends who have all at least seen Oz?

Oz over here!" Vicky stands up at her table and starts waving her hands in the air wildly. 

Vicky, Amira, and Brian are all sitting together at a table near the back of the cafeteria eating. Oz waves back to Vicky as he starts weaving between students to get to their table. Vicky sits back down once Oz starts in their direction and returns to fawning over Harold as he chases a fly.

"You got a table near the back," Oz comments.

"No, we got a table close enough to your betting buddy," Amira says between forkfuls of food.

Oz sits down at the table in between Brian and Amira then glances around. Sure enough, Damien is at the table closest to theirs with his feet kicked up on the table. Oz shakes his head fondly at the sight.

"I'm assuming we're so close because Amira wants to see their faces when we win the bet," Oz sighs as he turns back to his friend.

"Why else?" Brian chuckles good humoredly.

"Hey! I don't take sides," Amira shakes her head and smirks, "If you two lose I'll be just as happy seeing your faces."

Oz raises one eyebrow at Amira and even Brian seems unimpressed by her statement.

"You've literally been texting me all day to remind me to keep my mouth shut," Oz pulls his phone out to show her the proof.

"Shut up," Amira starts chugging her water bottle with a blush.

"But Amira-"

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Amira slams her bottle down and cuts Vicky off only for her to giggle in response.

Ignoring his friends' antics Oz glances at Damien with the corner of his eyes. Hopefully they win, or else Oz's first day at a highschool will end with an explosion from his fiery friend's temper. 

Accepting what happens either way Oz tunes into the conversation Brian and Vicky are having about putting an electricity fueled frog into a water habitat.

Meanwhile...

"So… I think it's time everybody lays their cards on the table," Vera glances around the table as her friends eye each other.

"I don't have any cards. Were we supposed to bring cards?" Scott looks around very confused.

"She means we're gonna place our bets," Polly informs Scott.

"OH! Ok," Scott nods in understanding, "Why didn't she just say so?"

"I just did-" Vera sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose before ignoring Scott entirely, "Who's putting money on who?

All the monsters at the table, except for Damien and Vera, eye each other cautiously. Nobody wants to go first in the fear of someone else copying their guess. Damien smirks at his friends arrogantly as they stay silent.

Unaware of the tension, Scott speaks up first, "I think it's Vicky!"

"Vicky?" Vera turns to Scott, "Who's Vicky?"

Damien scoffs under his breath. The electric bitch isn't terrible, but she sure seems annoying. Almost every time Damien and Oz hang out she spams Oz's phone nonstop. Then there was her personality switch thing, that made her go from perky to hostile in two seconds flat. The only reason Damien doesn't flat out say she's awful is because of how hard Oz vouches for her. 

Polly jumps in to answer Vera's question, "She's the girl who brought a frog back to life in Chemistry! I'm putting my bet on her too!"

"A frog back to life?" Liam says disbelievingly, "Polly, how many drugs have you had today and why did you give some to Scott?"

"I would never give Scott drugs!" Polly looks genuinely offended, "I would never contaminate our friend group's cinnamon roll! Scott has to stay pure!"

Liam is about to respond but Scott cuts him off, "I'm not a cinnamon roll! At least I don't think I am?"

"It's a figure of speech Scott. It means you're super duper nice!" Polly smiles as she floats over Scott's shoulder.

"That's so nice! Thanks Polly!" Everyone at the table can hear Scott's tail as it hits the sides of his chair.

"Yeah, yeah, Scott's too good for this world and all that," Vera's already writing down Scott and Polly's guess, "Two bets on a girl named Vicky. Who's next?"

"Hmm, despite my original bet on Damien's friend being nonexistent. I'll have to bet on the artistic and reckless zombie from the library," Miranda says while she watches her serfs eat for her.

"You didn't get a name?" Vera responds looking up from her notepad to Miranda.

"I'm putting my bet on that man too. As much as his dedication to the arts differs from Damien, his attitude seems compatible with our friend," Liam states thoughtfully, "And no, we did not get his name."

"We do have a portrait of him though!" Miranda claps and two of her serfs carry a painting closer to the table, "Magnificent isn't it?"

Damien gazes at the painting lazily. With already seeing Brian before, Damien could kind of make out his features and realize he was the subject. However, the dark splatters of paint and abstract imagery makes everything seem awkward and ugly.

"That painting looks like shit," Damien says plainly.

Polly and Vera seem to agree, but don't voice their opinions. Scott just stares at the canvas with his head turned at an angle inquisitively.

"You just don't understand art Damien," Liam sighs as he takes a picture of the painting with his phone, "Which is a shame considering your zombie friend is so dedicated to it, even enough to the extent of decapitating himself."

Damien rolls his eyes at Liam and doesn't respond. Out of Oz's three friends Brian seemed the most stable and least clingy. The bastard is bold as fuck too. He literally walked up to Damien and threatened him to his face without fear. The only reason the demon didn't kill him right there is because of his connection to Oz. Damien would never admit he found the guy intimidating, because he didn't! Not one bit.

"Excuse me, WHAT?!" Polly screams in shock.

"Liam speaks the truth. He had his friend Oz pull the lever to my guillotine so Mermando could have a muse," Miranda nods at Liam.

Damien tenses at his Oz's name being brought up, but he quickly catches himself before anyone notices. If he just stays calm they should change the subject quickly.

"Oz? I know him!" Scott says excitedly while Damien resists the urge to light something on fire, "He helped me put on a pair of cursed goggles while Polly tried to make drugs!"

"Very interesting Scott, but we've got to continue so please get back on topic, " Vera points her pen at Scott who already looks to be over the subject, "I'm putting both of you down for an artistic zombie, ok?"

Liam and Miranda nod in agreement at Vera's statement and Damien relaxes at the quick change of subject. His friends were getting very close to the truth for a moment there. Good thing they're all stupid.

"That puts me last," Vera writes one last thing on the notepad before setting it on the table for everyone to see, "I will be voting for Amira the Djinn."

"Who's that?" Polly floats over the notepad in the center of the table curiously, "And why would you pick her?"

Instead of answering immediately, Vera turns around and points at a familiar set of fire hair, "As you can see, she's the one with fire hair. That was my first clue, they both have an affinity for fire even though hers is far more obvious than Damien's."

"Hmm, I do see the connection, but surely there's more to your suspicion than just similar magic," Liam states while peering at the table closest to theirs.

"Of course there is," Vera rolls her eyes at Liam and her snakes hiss in annoyance at their master being interrupted, "The second was the fact that Damien was staring at his little friend the moment he came from the locker room."

"~Ohhh," Polly floats over to Damien and pokes his forehead, "What were you thinking about your girly friend in that head of yours? Was it-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET VERA FINISH!" Damien growls in annoyance and very potent disgust.

He would absolutely never think of the fire bitch that way. Just the insinuation- GAH! Damien begs for Vera to continue so he can erase Polly's comment from his head. Maybe he can bleach his brain with black magic later.

"As Damien said, Please let me continue," Taking Damien's reaction as embarrassment instead of disgust Vera smirks, "The last straw was when I got the girl on my team in dodgeball. Not only does she hold a fierceness and stubbornness similar to our favorite fire demon, but she also specifically mentioned being the only one who could defeat her friend on the other team."

Already, Liam and Polly's faces fall in defeat. 

"Great," Polly sighs, "There goes my drug money for the week…"

"Why did I even bet with Vera in the mix…" Liam grumbles as he reaches into his pockets for money.

Vera stands up and puts her hand out, while smiling wickedly, "Now that I've won, please deposit the money you owe me-"

"Hahahaha!" Damien can't help chuckling, "You really thought you figured it out didn't you Vera!?"

Vera's confident aura fades as she glares at Damien in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about how nobody guessed correctly," Damien takes the arms crossed on his chest and sets them behind his head, "I might know all three of the monsters you mentioned, but they are not my friends. Not sparky bitch, not the tall greenie, and definitely not that red idiot."

"W-what?! Then who is it!" Scott stands up beside Vera and turns frantic, "I've just gotta know!"

"You all that desperate to see the person I've been hanging with?" Damien smirks already knowing the answer.

"Stop dragging it out and just bring them over here," Vera sits down and annoyedly starts counting money while seething, "You already won the bet. Stop being a dick about it."

"I agree with Vera," Liam says with a slightly raised hand, "We've all waited long enough."

"Yeah come on!" Polly pouts, floating upside down, "I wanna meet your secret lover!"

Damien's cool demeanor immediately slides away as a hint of red hits his face and he almost falls from his chair, "I won't bring him over here if you say embarrassing crap like that!"

"~Aww but I-"

"I'm serious Polly!" Damien already has his knife out and is pointing it in Polly's direction.

"Uhhh, fine. You're no fun," Polly sticks her tongue out and pouts.

Damien rolls his eyes again then smirks, "Fine, I guess I should introduce you since he'll be getting a split of your money. Plus, some of you were pretty close to guessing correctly."

Ignoring his friends' cries of shock and confusion, Damien stands up and turns the direction thay Vera pointed Amira out in earlier. Once Oz is spotted Damien slips his knife back into his pocket and shouts across the cafetiera.

"OZ! Get the hell over here! These fuckers owe you some money!" Lots of monsters eye Damien warily. He's already got a reputation and it's only the first day.

"IT WAS OZ!" Scott exclaims loudly in excitement, "He was my second guess!"

"The guillotine guy?" Liam turns to Miranda.

Damien ignores his friends as a familiar head pops up and turns it's white eyes to Damien. Vicky pats Oz on the back as he gets up from the table and Brian sends him a thumbs up.

Oz is already able to read Damien like a book, so after the incident a couple of weeks ago Damien's took care to be just as good at reading Oz's cues. It comes in handy at times like this. While most people would think Oz completly neutral faced, Damien can tell he's practically smirking just by the way his eyebrows are raised subtly and how his eyes dip.

His theory is proven correctly when Oz gets closer and speaks mischievously, "Can I assume we won the bet and your friends are pissed?"

"Ha! Of course we won the bet! Would I ever lie to you!" Damien grabs Oz when he gets close enough and slings an arm over his shoulders. A little quieter he adds jokingly, "And they aren't pissed yet. Maybe you can make that your goal."

Damien's friends sitting around the table just share a confused look before Liam speaks up, "You do realize that he didn't say anything?" 

Damien looks perplexed a moment before turning to Oz with a sigh, "Oz you're only speaking-"

"Oz speaks in your brain!" Scott interrupts, "I thought he was a little person in my head before he explained it to me!"

"Y-yeah, sorry about that," All the monsters at the table except for Scott and Damien flinch at the sudden voice in their heads and then focus on Oz, "I was only talking to Damien so I didn't think to transmit to all of you."

"Woooooow!" Polly rushes at Oz, who puts both his hands up in defence as the ghost enters his personal space, "So you've got some telepathy thing that lets you talk to people without a mouth?!"

"Umm, y-yeah," Oz warily waits for Polly to leave his space.

At the sight of Polly so close to Oz, Damien growls as a warning. Taking a hint, Polly backs up and pouts. Liam and Vera share a confused glance. This shy monster is the guy Damien LaVey has been hanging with the last few weeks?

When Polly backs up, Oz sighs to Damien in relief, "She's just like you described her."

When Polly doesn't respond with indignation Damien knows Oz just spoke only to him. It makes a warm feeling spread through Damien's chest. It's short lived however as Vera ruins the moment.

"You're kidding right? There's no way this shy guy is your friend," Vera's known for her judgmental and abrasive attitude, so she speaks her mind.

Oz seems a little shocked at Vera's sudden rudeness, but stays calm despite his nervousness. His phobias however, take offence to Vera and against Oz's will come to form on his shoulders.

Damien, who notices the rippling effect on Oz's skin, pulls his arm back and smiles as the show begins. The phobias come out squeaking angrily and immediately form hands to flip Vera off. Oz stares at his inky companions with a mix of rage, pride, and horror.

"Dammit you guys! We were trying to make a good first impression! Not to insult one of the most powerful students in the school!" Oz literally yanks the connection between him and the two phobias. They fade while cackling wildly.

The entire table stays silent for a moment before Polly starts laughing uncontrollably, "V-Vera! The little guys flipped you off!"

Surprisingly calm, Vera responds, "I saw."

This calm response sends Liam into a chuckle and Miranda covers her mouth and giggles. Scott just wags his tail and snickers. Damien places his arm back on Oz's shoulder as he grows a bit red.

Vera sighs dramatically and everybody's attention is back on her, "Well at least this friend of yours knows I'm a powerful monster for future reference."

Damien really wants to chuckle at that. Vera doesn't even  _ know  _ how powerful Oz is. If only, Damien muses.

"Heh, well Damien talks about you all a lot," Oz admits awkwardly, "If I didn't know I would be an idiot."

"Damien talks about us?" Liam is suddenly very interested in the conversation.

"What does he say!?" Scott smiles happily.

"He mostly just talks about the fun stuff you do together," Oz admits, "Almost never anything bad."

If that isn't the most blatant lie that has ever left Oz's mouth he'll be surprised. Damien only talks about his friends when he's annoyed at them, so most everything he says has a negative connotation behind it.

"Speaking of doing stuff together…" Damien already hates what Polly is going to say, "~What do you two do together?"

Damien glares at Polly with a look promising death, but Oz stays oblivious to both the monster's motives, "M-mostly we just watch TV together."

Everybody at the table stops and stares at Oz as if he just grew a second head. Which is something he could have done, but they don't know that yet.

"That's… so...normal," Liam says carefully.

Damien is already on the defensive, "So what!? I can relax and just chill sometimes! I can't just burn down buildings and light shit on fire all the time!"

"We still do that sometimes though," Oz says.

"Do what?" Miranda tilts her head curiously.

"Burn buildings and light stuff on fire."

Now everybody is looking at Oz like he just grew a fifth head. The shy guy that was stuttering and blushing seconds ago just admitted to burning buildings and committing arson in his free time.

"I call bull," Vera says deadpan, "There's no way."

Damien scowls, but Oz seems more confused than upset. Why wouldn't they believe him? It's not like he's telling them the sky is green or something totally crazy.

"What? We do stuff like that all the time. There was the motorcycle chase, the gang fight, the blown up buildings, and OH! There was also the bank robbery," Oz lists different events off on his fingers.

"The bank what?!" Vera glares at Damien.

Ignoring Vera's heated glance Damien scoffs, "You left your fucking blueprints the last time we hung out and I took the liberty to use them for something useful."

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ROBBED THE BANK I WAS ABOUT TO CORRUPT!" Vera sounds furious.

"Wait," Everyone pauses as Oz's voice turns from nervous and stuttering to downright scary, "You told me Vera  _ gave  _ you the blueprints."

"Did I?" Damien removes his arm from Oz and plays ignorant, which only proves his crimes, "I don't remember saying that."

"You not only dragged me into a heist with no plan whatsoever, but you stole what could have been a fake layout of the bank for me to make a plan with!" Oz grabs the bridge of his nose and his frustration is palpable, "Why are you like this?!"

"Hey! It turned out fine didn't it? It was pretty fun even if we didn't blow the place up right?" Damien seems almost apologetic.

Vera, Liam, Polly, and Miranda almost get whiplash from both monsters' instantaneous personality switch. Scott just watches curiously.

Vera's even so shocked that she forgets her rage. Not for long though, her smile grows wicked as she watches the two interact. Polly makes eye contact with Vera and they have a silent conversation. There's going to be a lot more bets later, when Damien isn't around. That will be Vera's revenge.

Liam frowns, "Ignoring both of your criminal activities, I must ask how the two of you met. It's unlikely you just started hanging out."

Oz snaps out of his scolding and turns to Liam, which makes his nerves return, "Well, i-it wasn't anything special, I just-"

"This fucker stabbed a cyclops in the eye with a broken liquor bottle," Damien smirks with his thumb pointed at Oz.

"Only because you were destroying the entire store while fighting," Oz says annoyed, "You didn't even thank me. All you did was call my telepathy mind rape-"

"Be quiet!" Damien growls while slamming a hand over Oz's nonexistent mouth.

"Really Dames?" Oz raises an eyebrow and looks down at Damien's hand.

Polly suddenly has stars in her eyes, "Ozzie and Dames! You have cutesy nicknames for each other! Ohmygosh, that's adorable!" 

While Damien feels the heat rush to his face, Oz yet again, stays neutral despite his nerves, "W-well, I figured if I gave Damien a nickname he would stop calling me rude names all the time. Instead he just came up with a nickname too. One which I'm pretty happy with."

Despite Oz's calm demeanor, Polly still watches Damien knowingly. She winks at him once before floating over to Oz.

"Yep! It  _ totally _ makes sense that Damien would give you a nickname," Polly then chuckles, "You're like a demon whisperer or something!"

"Y-yeah, or something…" Oz replies awkwardly.

"While I'm also surprised by this. As a princess I feel that we all have been rude for not introducing ourselves properly," Miranda states hoping for her friends to agree.

"Why would we need to do that when Oz already knows all of us?" Liam rolls his eyes and has already gotten his phone back out.

Miranda pouts, "Because it's rude to not introduce yourself properly even if somebody already knows you!"

"Then why don't you introduce yourself every time we meet?" Scott tilts his head to the side.

"Because you only need to if the person that knows you, knows of you," Miranda seems to be confusing herself as she continues, "I know you personally so there's no need to introduce myself because of that."

Oz watches the ongoing conversation while shuffling his hands about. He really didn't want their first meeting to get this awkward.

"But Oz knows you personally," Scott objects in even more confusion, "He's right here!"

"That's not how it works Scott. You have to know-"

"Let's just introduce ourselves," Liam turns to his friends, "Otherwise, these two will keep that conversation going all day."

"That's not true! I was only explaining-"

"I'm Liam de Lioncourt and I am obviously a vampire," Liam cuts Miranda off much to her disapproval.

"Ooh, I'm Polly! Polly, Geist! You already know that, but still!" Polly floats into Oz's personal space yet again except this time she gives him a very flirty smile, "I like drugs, dancing, and long walks down the beach!"

Before Damien can properly blow Polly up, Scott jumps out of his seat and the ghost retreats while snickering at Damien's scowl.

"I'm Scott Howl! I play lots of sports, love cheering my friends on, and I'm a cinnamon roll apparently!" Scott smiles wide.

"Your introductions sounded like the description under a dating profile," Vera interrupts with a snicker, "On a bad dating app."

"Heeey! That's mean!" Polly uses her hands to fake cry, "So rude Vera!"

Scott seems unaffected by the insult. Whether that's because he has thick skin or just didn't understand Vera's intentions in the first place is up for debate. Either way, Scott stays silent.

"Let me show you how to properly introduce yourself," Vera smirks as she wraps a serpent around her wrist, "I'm Vera Oberlin the absolute best at getting what I want. If you have business with me use this."

Vera pulls a business card out of nowhere and thrusts it at Oz, who hastily grabs it.

"Beat that," Vera challenges.

"Hmph, no class at all. I'll show you the proper way to handle an introduction," Miranda frowns before turning to Oz and shifting to a smile, "My name is Miranda Vanderbilt and I am one of the many princesses of the Merkingdom. It is just as much a pleasure to meet you as I am sure it is to meet me."

"I-It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance too Miranda," Oz doesn't know if it's the exact response she wanted, but when Miranda smiles and claps her hands in delight he takes it as a win.

"At least somebody around her has proper manners!" Miranda cheers.

"Well um, it was nice to finally meet you guys, but I need to head back over with my friends," Oz waves goodbye then turns to Damien and speaks to him alone, "Are you going to be doing anything after school?"

"Polly will probably have some type of fucking rave set up out back after the football tryouts. She's already started brewing toilet wine in the stalls so it won't be long till some exciting crap happens and somebody gets wasted," Damien replies, "You're welcome to come, most of the school is already going to be there after the football tryouts, but knowing Polly, the parties are gonna become a common thing. So don't feel like you have to fucking show up."

To the others at the table it looks strange watching Damien have what seems to be a one-sided conversation, but after a bit of thought they figured that's what they looked like earlier.

"Heh, don't worry. I'll be there," Oz says happily, "I'll be signing up for one of the after school clubs, but I should be done before the tryouts are over. Although I feel the need to say, if I'm not there and you decide to drink, please  _ do not _ get drunk."

Damien chuckles, "No promises. What are you signing up for?"

Oz sighs, "My friends insist on me joining the baking club to make them sweets."

There's a sudden shine in Damien's eyes and Oz sighs again."You'll get your fair share of burnt snacks too."

"I fucking better," Damien growls with a small smile.

"Well, gotta go," Oz turns to walk away from the table when Scott stops him.

"Is Vicky going to watch the football tryouts?" Scott asks urgently.

"Umm… y-yeah. She wants to watch Brian try out," Oz says quickly, "Why?"

"I didn't get to finish holding Harold the frog earlier," Scott smiles even bigger, "Now I know I can ask her at the tryouts."

Oz starts to walk away again when Liam calls to him this time, "What's the name of that zombie from the library you were with?"

"Library?" Oz turns to Liam with a look of confusion before realization dawns on him, "Oh, that's Brian."

Liam just nods at Oz as Vera and Polly snicker. With that, Oz finally gets to walk back to his table and tell his friends how he won the bet. It's only once he sits down that Oz realizes he didn't even collect his money. Oz shrugs. He's sure Damien will get it to him by the end of the week.

Damien watches Oz walk away with a small almost unnoticeable smile, before turning on Polly with an annoyed glare.

"I thought I told you not to say embarrassing stuff," Damien growls.

"Huh? I didn't do anything!" Polly lookas away from Damien and pretends to be innocent. When her act doesn't phase Damien she frowns, "Fiiiiine. I might have implied a few things while we were talking."

"Ignoring that," Liam says before Damien can yell at Polly, "Are you two seriously friends? You don't seem compatible at all."

"What the hell do you mean, ' _ compatible _ ?!'"

"You just have very contradicting personalities," Liam shrugs.

"Y'know what? How about you all stop talking and start handing over the cash you owe me and Oz," Damien growls.

Everyone at the table, except ever oblivious Scott, and sighs.

"I was really, really, hoping you'd forget about that," Polly pouts as she sets a ziplock back of crumpled cash on the table.

"Did you really think Damien wouldn't get the money we owe him? He's no Vera, but he still gets what's his," Liam sets the proper amount of money on the table.

Miranda claps and a crying serf sets a small pile of gold coins on the lunch table, "Truly, I feel bad for the serf losing its livelihood. It's too bad I lost."

Scott reaches into his pocket and sets a small pile of crumpled dollar bills on the table, "It was fun to do the betting thing though."

"I haven't lost in a while. It reminds me of the thrill I had betting when I was a novice," Vera sets a neat stack of bills being held by a clip.

"Whatever," Damien grabs all the cash off the table and thrusts it into the mysterious void of space that is his jacket. He'll have to give Ozzie his share later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I wanted to ley y'all know that uploads might be slowing down a little. I'm just as excited about the story so don't worry about me not being passionate about this project anymore, but life is about to take a sledgehammer to my normal scedule and things might become irregular. I might still keep the same pace in uploading, but I honestly have no idea how current events are going to affect me.


	21. Afterschool party? Really Polly?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oz meets the fellow members of the baking club for the first time and learns how the club actually works while his other friends watch the football tryouts. After the tryouts are over, Polly has a huge party that Damien can't wait to have with Oz.

Oz was unprepared. When he was peer pressured into signing up for the baking club, he expected it to be a tiny room with maybe a couple pots, pans, and a stove. What Oz did not expect, was a kitchen that should belong in a five star restaurant large enough to host a party in.

The room had at least six stoves, tons of pots and pans, a dozen marble counters for students to have separate workstations, along with an industrial sized fridge, and a pantry that could help someone live through the apocalypse. With his expectations already blown out of the water, Oz searches the room for the person in charge.

The amount of people in the room is far less impressive. With most students at the football tryouts waiting for Polly's party to start, only a few students showed up. There's some type of yeti with a pink mushroom growing out of it's head looking at the pans, the three goth looking girls from Chemistry class were mixing another cauldron of something, and a few other random students that didn't seem very interesting were also scattered about. However, Oz does not see a teacher or leader anywhere in the room when he looks

Taking a step into the kitchen Oz glances around for someone who at least knows what they're doing. The only real option is the three goth girls. Shuffling over to them awkwardly, one of the girls notices Oz and alerts the other two.

"Are you the destined prophet sent to help us on our journey?" The smallest of the girls points at Oz.

Already regretting initiating a conversation Oz shakes his head slowly, "N-no? I just want to know how to sign up for the baking club. Could you tell me?"

The other two taller girls suddenly look up at Oz before the one with white hair murmurs under her breath, "The power of telepathy. What a blessing and curse."

The tiny girl looks Oz up and down before answering his question, "You're a soon to be fellow member of the club?"

Oz nods slowly while eyeing the three and their bubbling green liquid.

"Hmm, interesting. You could be quite the ally in beating the big bad this season…" The middle girl says thoughtfully.

"Uh w-what?"

"What? Oh, sorry for that. We need to introduce ourselves if we plan on working together in the future. My name is Joy Johnson-Junpei," The middle one then gestures towards her friends.

The tiny one seems to be dissecting Oz, "My name is Hope, and you seem familiar."

Oz looks at Hope strangely and tries to remember if he's ever met her but can't think of anything, "I don't think we've ever met before."

The tall one ignores Oz and starts talking, "My name is Faith Fernándaz. Don't worry about Hope. She thinks many people are familiar because of lingering memories from her past lives."

"P-past lives?"

Welp, that means that it's very much possible they have met before, and if it was before the past few decades it probably wasn't under the best circumstances. 

"Hmph, this is my fourth body. Don't think much of it. We might not have met and you just seem familiar. I can never tell."

"Ok then? My name is Oz," As Oz speaks he puts his hand on the back of his neck, "It's nice to meet all three of you."

"Just call us the Coven," All three girls say at once. Oz is really surprised by their impeccable synchronization.

"So I just call you that as a group..or?"

"If the three of us are together…" Faith starts.

"...then you may call us the Coven…" Joy continues.

"...It's what we prefer." Hope finishes.

"Um… wow. Okay, thanks Coven, but can you tell me how to sign up?"

"The poster with regulations is on the way in the back of the room," Joy smiles.

"Just read the regulations on the poster then sign your name if you still want to join," Hope looks away from Oz and starts stirring the black liquid in their pot.

"Hopefully we'll meet again in the future and you'll remember the kindness of the Coven."

"A-alright, sure. Goodbye," Oz slowly backs away from the Coven and in the direction of the sign-up poster.

"Farwell Oz," The Coven replies.

Turning away from the three completely, Oz speed walks away from then hastily. That was not the weirdest interaction he's ever had, but it's still on the list somewhere. Oz passes a couple of counters with different cooking utensils differing from an electric mixer to- THAT'S A BLOWTORCH! That's it, Damien is not allowed to come visit the kitchen without supervision. Preferably Oz wouldn't want him here at all, but he knows to keep his wishes at least relativly realistic. Oz is honestly going to have to make a list of places to avoid if Damien is around.

When Oz reaches the back of the room he sees the giant poster with rules and a half dozen signatures. Oz already figured that the instructor for the club just didn't show up for sign-ups, but when Oz starts reading he realizes why there actually wasn't an authority figure here. The club is completely student run. 

Once Oz finishes reading the first line, he starts reading the different signatures and glancing around the room. Other than the Coven nobody in the room or on the list seems too destructive. With nobody to watch over the room, Oz didn't need somebody too chaotic gallivanting around. Oz already has somebody like that in his life, and Damien's the only one who can get away with it.

Oz sighs to himself and continues reading. Most of the stuff on the list after the first rule is just about how not to use the baking equipment and the resulting punishments of breaking said equipment. Oz only stops when he reaches the last bullet point. 

'Every member of the club will get a 

personal key to the kitchen'

Oz figured the school had a lot of funding and Vicky proved they have a ton of insurance, but personal keys seem like overkill and an invite for disaster. Oz suddenly looks up and scans the room again. The school didn't even have any cameras to catch somebody if a student does decide to cause trouble or destroy the kitchen.

Oz starts listing the pros and cons of joining. The cons are the lack of security and the possibility of Oz getting blamed for something he didn't do. On the other hand, Oz gets free access to the kitchen at all times, although he had that before with shadow jumping, and he gets to know his new classmates. Oz is split in his decision before one last thing pushes him over the edge. Brian, Vicky, and Amira would probably be disappointed if Oz didn't join the club. Damien probably wouldn't care either way, but did he really want to risk it?

Making his decision, Oz signs his name to the poster with a pen on a nearby counter. Once he's done, he types the club's monthly meetings and the time he needs to be in the office to pick up his keys on his phone. When Oz is about to turn his phone off he notices a text message from Damien. After Oz watches the video Damien sent him, he glances at the time and- Oz sighs again and starts rushing out of the room. The football tryouts are already over and Polly's party is probably in full swing.

On his way out Oz waves goodbye to the Coven then books it towards the back exit of the school. Hopefully nobody will be mad he's late. 

\--------Earlier and Somewhere Else----------

Damien couldn't help but chuckle when he reached into his pockets to feel all the cash he won from his friends. Not only did Oz pull off their scheme perfectly, but the dork forgot to collect his share of the winnings at lunch. The fucking dummy. 

Even so, Damien's not the kind of person to cheat somebody out of their cash. Well, Damien is actually exactly the kind of person to cheat anything from anybody, but he wouldn't do that to Ozzie. It would be rude with how he helped Damien. Plus, he knows how awkward it was for Oz to actually talk to Damien's friends. They've had multiple one-sided conversations where Oz literally listed everything that could go wrong on the first day. Damien knows Oz has mad anxiety, but damn, if hearing every single mistake you can make in alphabetical order doesn't make you a bit paranoid, what will?

A loud cheer erupts from the bleachers as somebody does something on the football field. Damien rolls his eyes as the electric bitch stands up in the stands and starts screaming her lungs out cheering.

With Scott trying out for the football team, Polly decided her party needed to happen after that so she could watch Scott beat the competition. With the party going on after tryouts most students ended up in the bleachers waiting until the time is right to rush to the back of the school and get drunk. Why were none of the teachers trying to stop such blatant alcoholism and recklessness? Hell if Damien cares. Maybe they know that if they interrupt his party he'll light the school on fire.

Damien shifts his attention back to the field as the tryouts play football. You may be asking why the tryouts are just one huge game of football instead of y'know, regular tryout things. The answer to that is, Coach does not give a shit and just told the hopeful students to get suited up and on the field. It's honestly obvious which monsters are gonna be on the team and which ones will get cut. Scott is absolutely destroying the other team with his cousins in the wolfpack, and Brian is actually holding his own on the team surprisingly well. 

"WOOOO! GO BRIAN!" The electric dink starts shouting at the top of her lungs again when Brian does… something.

Truly, Damien has no fucking idea how football works and neither do any of his other friends with the exception Scott and maybe Polly. Vera's too busy to watch sports, Liam says they're mainstream, and most of the people Miranda knows don't even have fucking feet to play. 

That's why Damien is very, very, very tempted to set the field on fire and cut this boring game short. Sadly however, he promised Oz that he would at least try not to set anything on fire the first day. Damien wishes he didn't agree, but Ozzie was pouting along with his phobias when he asked. How was he supposed to say no to that? Shocker, he didn't.

"Bored without your boy toy?" Polly floats over to the brooding Damien and jabs him in the shoulder.

His reaction is instantaneous as his face heats up and his tail wraps around his own leg, "He is not my fucking boy toy!"

"Haha, suuuurrre," Polly floats upside down over Damien's head chuckling, "Is Oz coming to my party? I want to see you two together!"

Damien rolls his eyes and looks away from Polly with a scowl, "He's signing up for the fucking baking club then he'll be there."

"Oh yay! A fellow culinary artisan!" 

"You cook? That sounds horrible."

"I'm an absolutely amazing chef when I'm sober!" Polly shouts indignantly.

Catching the conversation, Liam looks up from his phone, "When are _you_ sober?"

"HEY! I'm sober sometimes!" Polly pouts angrily.

"Are you sober right now?" Damien leans back against the bleachers and raises an eyebrow at polly.

"Uh, how much alcohol can you have before you're not sober?" Polly puts a finger on her chin, "I'm only a little tipsy."

"That already answers my question," Damien smirks.

"Please never cook me anything… ever," Liam begs, "I don't even eat, but you making food scares me."

"Hmph, I bet you have your friend Oz cook for you all the time!" Polly shoves another finger into Damien's shoulder while ignoring Liam.

"Will you stop fucking poking me! It's annoying as hell!" 

"Then stop being such a mean jerk!" Polly jabs Damien again teasingly.

"Oh that's it bitch," Damien ignites both his hands in flames before lunging at Polly.

"~Are you upset about me teasing you about your boyfriend _Dames_?" Polly floats out of Damien's reach.

"Don't fucking call me that!" Damien throws a fireball in the air directly at Polly.

"~Sorry, I guess that's your pet name huh? Don't want to steal your Ozzie's nickname from you," Polly continues teasing while Damien's other three friends start chuckling.

Damien knows Polly's joking, but his mind says otherwise. At this point Damien's face is as red hot as his fire. Some of the other students on the bleachers begin to slowly scoot away from the confrontation.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP POLLY!" Damien throws another fire ball up in the air and Polly just lets it go through her incorporeal form. 

"Hahah, you are way too easy Damien. That was so worth it to see your reaction," Polly starts to slowly float to the ground while Damien continues to lose his shit.

"Fuck you Polly! When you get back down to the ground I'm gonna-"

"YEEEEAAAAHHHH!" The sudden loud cheering applause of everyone watching the football game cuts Damien's death threats short.

Damien looks over his shoulder and inspects the field to find that somebody made the winning touchdown. Surprisingly, Scott along with some of the other players are holding Brian up in the air and cheering. Deductive reasoning states that it was him who made the shot despite his neutral expression as he gets carried around the field.

"Wow, that's the zombie you and Miranda met in the library, right?" Damien turns around to see that Polly is now sitting on the bleachers again next to Liam. 

"Yes, it is indeed," Miranda answers for Liam while one of her serfs does her and Vera's nails, "I'm honestly surprised somebody so into the arts could have such physical prowess as well."

While Damien resists the urge to pounce on Polly and kill her a second time, she looks at Miranda curiously, "He's pretty muscular, why wouldn't you think he likes sports."

"Hmm?" Miranda tilts her head in Polly's direction, "Well, I assumed that most monsters that like art are like Liam. Scrawny, perfectionistic, and very sassy. This Brian character seems to be none of those things."

When Damien registers what Miranda says his bloodlust goes down by at least 75% as he starts covering his mouth to keep from laughing. Vera and Polly try a lot less hard and start full out dying from laughter while Miranda looks at the two very perplexed. Liam just glares at Miranda and scowls at his other friends.

"I am not scrawny, vampires have super strength so I have no need to work out. I am not a perfectionist, I just like neat things," Liam takes a breath and pushes his glasses further up his nose, "And finally, I am not 'sassy.' I just find other people lacking compared to me."

Vera finally stops laughing and switches hands for Miranda's serf to do her other set of nails, "Liam the only thing you just disproved was the scrawny bit. Everything else you said supported Miranda's claims."

Instead of answering Liam just stands up with his phone and starts walking away, "I'll be waiting behind the school for a party. If you guys decide to stop messing around and join me, be my guest."

Polly continues giggling as Liam almost trips as he walks away when the coach's whistle blows.

"Oh man! They're deciding who's one the team. I've gotta go get the booze to the party!" Polly starts dashing after Liam but she yells something back over her shoulder, "Tell Scott congrats for me!"

Damien and Vera stay quiet, but Miranda snaps her fingers with the hand not getting finger nails painted, "Serf 5, tell Scott congratulations from Polly when we next meet."

Suddenly a serf rushes out from behind the bleacher, bows, then rushes back to her hiding spot.

At this point Damien turns to the field to see that Scott, Brian, and all of the werewolf pack made it on the team. A group of sad looking other monsters are trekking away from the Coach. A few are even crying. It puts Damien in an even better mood.

Instead of staying and watching the Coach give them their gear and paperwork, Damien decides to just follow Liam and Polly's lead and leave early. He might even get some of the punch before it gets spiked fifty times with different substances.

"Whelp, I'm leaving before all these losers create a crowd," Damien waves to Vera and Miranda. Before they can respond Damien starts walking.

If he had turned around as he walked away, he would have seen Amira walk up to Vera and start chatting, Scott rushing up to Vicky and staring at her new frog Harold, and Brian leaning against a fence all by himself looking at his phone. Maybe if Damien turned around he would have figured out how his highschool years were going to go.

As Damien walks away from the field and towards the back of the school he gets a sudden chill. Almost as if the director of his life said something that foreshadowed the future, but his mortal brain couldn't hear it. Eh, he's probably just imagining things.

When Damien reaches the back of the school he's definitely underwhelmed. Don't get him wrong, he's impressed by Polly's DJ set up and copious amounts of drugs and booze she has set out, but for a school that went all out in everything else their backyard sucks. The only thing other than an empty field is one giant dead tree.

"Damien! Over here!" Polly shouts from her DJ booth.

Walking over to her with his hands in his pockets Damien looks at her music set up, "How the hell did you even set this up so quick?"

"Ghost secrets," Is all Polly gives as an answer.

"Fine, don't tell me," Damien rolls his eyes then looks around, "Where the fuck is Liam? He didn't turn into a bat and fly away did he?"

"Pft, like he would ever," Polly chuckles, "Mister grumpy pants is over there brooding next to a tree. Go try and talk to him, he'll probably drag you into a music discussion."

"The only music I listen to is metal. You know Liam hates that crap," Damien gives Polly a devious smirk.

"Exactly," Polly smiles back.

Without further prodding, Damien walks up to the tree to see that Liam is doing exactly what Polly said he was doing.

"Sup Liam," Damien leans back against the tree next to him, "Why are sitting over her being all lame when there's alcohol to be drinking?"

"Gag, why would I drink Polly's toilet wine," Liam says without looking away from his phone, "I only even need to drink, and if I did it would be artisional aged wine. I would not destroy my sophisticated palette for some homemade party alcohol."

"Alcohol is alcohol you bastard. It's for getting wasted and having fun," Damien shrugs.

A couple of monsters from the football tryouts make their way around the school and Damien isn't surprised that Scott and Vera are spotted within the group. What Damien is surprised about however is how the electric bitch is riding on hot hair's shoulder. 

"PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!" Damien watches as the two immediately rush to the table with alcohol and start chugging, still on each other's shoulders, much to Polly's absolute delight.

Brian comes rushing around the corner of the school after them and makes it to the table just before Polly sends the electric girl toppling over on top of him. Polly, Vicky, and Amira start laughing wildly while Brian picks Vicky up. His head is completely soaked in party punch.

"Huh, well I can already tell this party is going to be interesting to watch," Damien looks to Liam to see that he recorded the whole fiasco as even more students rush back. 

"Send that to me," Damien smirks as he watches the whole event play out on Liam's phone again.

"Of course," Damien's phone dings, "It's in the group chat now."

Already hyped for the oncoming rave, Damien jerks his phone out quickly and sends the video to Oz. If that won't motivate him to show up faster then Damien doesn't know what will.

Suddenly loud music booms all around and Damien realizes that Polly not only set up a rad DJ booth, but she also hid speakers all around the school yard. 

"This is gonna be one hell of a party!" Damien heads out into the crowd prepared for a night of chaos, and to have a hangover in the morning.

\-------------Not Five Minutes Later-------------

Halfway through the school Oz realizes how much of an idiot he is. He can travel through shadows. Why does he need to run through the school? Exactly, he doesn't. Oz mentally berates his own stupidity and jumps to the party. 

Once Oz emerges from the shadows, he looks around. Even though the football tryouts couldn't have ended more than ten minutes ago, the party was already turning into some type of rave. There's loud pop dance music coming from speakers all around and Polly did set up a booze table just like Damien suggested she would at lunch. There's also a large amount of people dancing to the music in a huge crowd.

Of course, none of this is that surprising to Oz. Amira and Vicky have both dragged Oz to his fair share of parties to help them not make irreversible mistakes. For example, Vicky wanting to get an arm tattoo from a shady looking pixy or Amira being so drunk she attempted to fly by jumping off a roof. Both times Oz saved them from their bad alcohol-induced decisions. 

Acting on these experiences Oz starts seeking his friends out in the crowd. The first person Oz comes across is Brian, who's leaning against an old tree with… Liam? As much as Oz likes to see Brian having fun, it's concerning to say the least. The only other voice of reason isn't there to tame the party animals.

Oz really considers asking Brian where Vicky and Amira are (Damien too), but when he sees him sharing earbuds with Liam, he just can't intrude. Oz walks the opposite direction of the dead tree and makes his way through the crowd and towards the bad decision table A.K.A the table with booze.

The crowd of people dancing to the energetic music is dense and Oz is having a hard time navigating through the people. Someone elbows Oz in the rib, someone steps on his foot, and overall the entire experience is not good. Oz still perseveres and soon enough breaks through the crowd and makes his way to the refreshments table. 

The table has at least four giant bowls full of punch and an even larger array of various drugs that Oz can only hope haven't been put into the already dangerous alcohol. Oz scans the group around the table and sighs in relief when he sees Amira. The Djinn is talking to somebody, but Oz can't see said person due to a group of rowdy students blocking his view. To his surprise however, despite having a cup in her hand, Amira seems sober. 

Oz starts walking in her direction, whoever she's talking to must be one hell of a conversationalist. Oz makes his way past the group of rowdy drinkers and is shocked to see that Amira is chatting it up with Vera. The two are deep in conversation and both are smiling happily. Amira eventually gets Vera to laugh at some joke of hers. That's when Oz walks the opposite direction looking for Vicky and Damien, so the two monsters can continue their conversation in peace.

Oz tries to reason the most likely place the two are at. Obviously they won't be together. No matter what Oz says, Damien keeps his distaste for Vicky, Amira, and Brian. With the tree and the table being the only two real locations in the school's backyard the only place left for Oz to look is the giant pulsating crowd of bodies in front of him. Just great…

Already dreading the next few hours, Oz dives back into the dancing monsters to look for his other two friends and make sure they're alright. The entire process is especially terrible because in a crowd of dancing people Oz has no idea how to dance. Like, at all. Sue him for thinking that dancing wasn't an important skill to pick up on in his eternal existance! His decisions are biting him in the ass now.

Another five minutes later and Oz is still pushing his way through the crowds of people searching with no success. Why do Vicky and Damien have to be so hard to find? 

"You seem to be looking for something," Oz's attention is pulled to a succubus when she grabs his arm suddenly from in the crowd.

Her skin is dark purple along with wings. She looks like almost like some sort of supermodel with her hair and face completely blemish free. Of course, that doesn't matter much with how succubus can completely change looks whenever they want.

"What did you say ma'am?" Over the loud music and talking Oz honestly didn't hear what she said. 

The succubus chuckles lightly, but it sounds almost threatening, "I am no ma'am. You can just call me Avery, and I said that you seemed to be looking for something."

The succubus that Oz now knows as Avery gets very close. It's at this point he realizes that true to succubus stereotypes, Avery isn't wearing much. Without wasting a second of time, Oz glues his gaze to Avery's eyes to maintain respectful.

"I- uh- well, I was looking for my friends in the crowd," Avery gets closer to Oz while still holding on to his arm.

"I'm sure that they're fine, but if you'd like I would definitely _help_ you search for what you're looking for," Avery says this slowly while continuously getting closer and licking her lips.

At this point Oz is panicking. OH GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD, NO PERSONAL SPACE. Oz doesn't have nearly enough confidence nor social experience to know what to do in this situation. Oz doesn't even know of Avery's making him uncomfortable on purpose or if this is just how she acts. Oz tries backing away for a bit of personal space, but other students keep him from retreating. What does Oz do, what does Oz do? He can't just shadow jump away, that would leave a terrible impression and maybe hurt Avery's feelings if she's not doing this on purpose. Oh no, Avery's waiting for a response what should Oz say.

"Hmm, why so quiet? I won't bite," Avery's hand slowly moves from Oz's arm and up to his chest.

Nope. She has to be doing this on purpose. There's absolutely no way this could be accidental. 

"Y'know you're kinda cute. Would your friends mind waiting while we get _acquainted?_ " Avery continues getting closer to Oz.

At this point the logical part of Oz knows the best way to get out of this conversation is to just shut Avery down hard and continue on his search, but the rest of Oz is in a full blown crisis. Is she insinuating that she wants- is she- that's not-

"You seem nervous. Is this your first time getting approached by a pretty girl, or is it just your first time? Either way, I can promise if you follow me you won't regret anything," Avery puts her other hand on Oz's chest.

That's it. Screw this. Oz is teleporting directly back to his own home to watch horror movies until his eyes stop working. He'll just text everyone he was there and didn't see anybody. He's willing to ditch this party if it gets him out of this situation quickly.

Avery leans her head towards Oz and he panicks hardcore. IS SHE TRYING TO KISS HIM!? HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANY LIPS, WHY WOULD SHE TRY-

Oz's panicked thoughts are cut off by him getting jerked back suddenly by something. An arm slings around his neck and a whole new onslaught of panicked thoughts intrude in Oz's logical thinking. Oz barely manages to look up and see who pulled him.

All Oz's panic suddenly fades into relief when he realizes Damien is the one who grabbed him.

"What the **HELL** do you think you're trying to pull with my friend bitch?!" Damien sounds absolutely pissed.

"Me? What are you doing? Me and him were just about to have some fun," Avery went from calm and sultry to annoyed faster than Oz knew possie, "Leave us alone."

Damien takes one look at the panicked Oz and growls, "It sure didn't fucking look like both of you were onboard with the whole 'fun' idea."

It's easy to say that Damien is furious, and for one of the few times in his life he thinks that's called for. Damien was minding his own business, enjoying a party, and waiting for his friend when he sees said friend being felt up by some bitch who obviously has no idea what the hell personal space or consent is. 

Damien did the only reasonable thing possible in the situation and got Oz out of the slut's hands. Don't get him wrong, Damien knows Oz could have gotten himself out of the situation the moment shock wore off, but that wasn't fast enough for him in his opinion. Now, he needs to teach a certain succubus some fucking manners.

"Screw off. I know what I'm doing, you bastard," Avery takes a step forwards and winks at Oz. Much to Damien's rage.

Damien takes his arm off of and Oz takes a step forward too, "Look bitch. If you want to go home with both hands and a half decent face you're going to leave us the hell alone and go back to the whorehouse you came from. Get it?"

At this point Damien lit both his hands on fire. Oz takes a moment to recover from the absolute shock and uncomfortable situation he was just in behind a very threatening Damien.

At this point Avery seems to really be considering her options, "Fine, I'll leave you alone. Have fun dying alone you ugly fucker."

Avery turns around and disappears into the crowd. If the situation was different, Damien would have chased the bitch down and roasted her alive. However, Damien had something much more important to do at the moment. Once he's sure the stupid succubas isn't coming back Damien turns around and grabs Oz's arm before lightly tugging him. Oz follows Damien's lead and soon enough they're out of the giant crowd and standing by themselves.

"Are you okay Ozzie?" Damien's voice is completely the opposite of what it was earlier. Much softer and quieter.

Oz jerks his head up to look at Damien, "Y-yeah, she just really surprised me when she grabbed my arm out of nowhere and started getting closer."

Damien went rigid and his eyes turned dangerous, "She just grabbed you?! Who the hell does that bitch think she is?!"

"It's fine Dames. Really it is. I was just about to shadow jump out of there before you showed up. She wouldn't have gotten what she wanted anyways."

Damien didn't seem to hear Oz though his anger filled haze, "That fucking spineless slut! She just grabbed you out of nowhere and has the guts to try something! I wish I left her with a scar to remember me by! Would be the perfect gift for such a-"

"Damien!" The demon whips his head around and locks eyes with Oz, "Thanks for stepping in. I was panicking and froze. She really didn't _do_ anything."

Damien glares at Oz for a moment trying to see anything false in his words. When he sees Oz is telling the truth, Damien relaxes a bit, "It was no problem. I know if some bitch just came up and started hitting on me you'd bail me out to."

Oz laughs and Damien smiles at the sound, "I would leave them in the void for a couple hours as revenge."

"Yeah I know," Both monsters fall into a comfortable silence before Damien breaks it, "So, why were you late to the party? Not that I care."

"Hmm?" Oz tilts his head in Damien's direction and Damien feels his heart skip a beat as Oz starts word vomiting, "Oh, uh, the baking club is student run so there was nobody there to tell me how to sign up. I had to ask around the other students there. Which is how I met these three girls that call themselves the Coven. They told me how to sign up, but not after distracting me for a while. Not to mention the sign-up poster had enough rules on it to start a baking government. The kitchen was pretty impressive too, actually-"

At some point while Oz rambles, Damien tunes it out and just watches as Oz gestures with his hands to explain stuff. It was cute. Damien's eyebrows shoot up suddenly. Where did that thought come from?

"-but anyways, I was looking for you and Vicky before that girl Avery… did that. Have you seen Vicky? I just want to make sure she doesn't dig herself into a hole that's too deep, y'know?" Oz's questioning shakes Damien from his internal struggle for just a second.

"Uh, yeah. Last time I saw her she was trying to crowd surf with Scott. I was looking for you at the time so it couldn't have been more than a few minutes ago."

"Whew, that's a relief. My friends are worse than you sometimes when it comes to alcohol. I don't need them getting a piercing from some shady girl with a mohawk when I'm not looking."

"That is weirdly specific Ozzie," Damien tries to push his crisis on the back burner.

"Heh heh, it's a long and gross story," Oz chuckles a little, "Hey, you actually don't look like you've had too much to drink. I thought you would already be wasted by now."

"I don't have to get fucking drunk every time alcohol is involved in a situation," Damien growls, "I can party sober."

Oz levels Damien with a disbelieving stare. So what if Damien just didn't want to get drunk unless Oz is around to watch out for him? He'd never tell the dork that he's the only one he trusts to be around when he's drunk. All his other friends would just video his alcohol induced rage and laugh later.

"If you're gonna keep looking at me like that then I'm going to go chug a whole bowl of that crap to spite you," Damien warns Oz.

Oz chuckles and elbows Damien, "I'm just joking. I know you can refrain from drinking till you're on the edge of alcohol poisoning."

"Anyways," Damien changes the subject while avoiding eye contact with Oz, "Are we going to sit here and talk or do you want to actually be a part of this party?"

Oz stares at Damien then looks away with red tinting his black skin, "I don't really know how to dance."

Damien finds himself staring at the obvious blush Oz has. Was it always so easy to make him flustered? Damien finds himself very curious on the topic. Again, Damien freezes and tries to push these intrusive thoughts away.

"Are you telling me, with how old you are, you don't know a single dance move?" Damien smirks as Oz's face turns even redder.

"I didn't think dancing was that important okay?!" Oz exclaims in embarrassment.

"I'm not going to comment on that," Damien deapans, "But if you want to know how to dance there's no better place to learn then at a fucking party. You've just gotta get out there."

Oz's blush fades away and he looks at Damien skeptically, "Is that really how it works?"

"Stop being an anxious dork and try it," Damien gestures towards the crowd again, "If you're too damn nervous I'll go with you."

Oz immediately relaxes to Damien's pleasure and looks up at him, "Really? You'll do it with me?"

Damien feels his face heat up a little, but still grabs Oz's arm and slowly guides him towards the crowd, "I'm not gonna let somebody associated with me make an embarrassment of themselves and ruin my reputation."

Oz just chuckles at Damien's badly concealed kindness, "Fine, teach me how to dance."

\-----------------------Extra---------------------------

_New group chat created by 👻☠GHOSTY☠👻_

_Chat Admin added user: Medusa_

_Chat Admin added user: Liam_

_Chat Admin added user: Goodboi_

_Chat Admin added user: HerMajesty_

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** (Video Link)

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** i got this video from above the crowd! 😏

**Liam** : Why did you send me a video of Damien cursing out a succubus?

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** look at his tail 

**Medusa:** It's wrapped around thin air Polly. Are you showing us this because you photoshopped it?

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** RUDE! why wud i do that? that thin air is supposed to be oz's thigh. it totally happened i don't even think they noticed

**Goodboi:** This is Vicky. Scott is a little busy at the moment and I want you to send me that video. Here's my number xxx-xxx-xxxxx.

**HerMajesty:** It seems somebody invaded our chat. How rude.

_Chat Admin added user: Vicky Schmidt_

_Vicky Schmidt changed their chat name to ☆Sparky☆_

**☆Sparky☆:** YAY thank you chat admin

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** youre welcome

**Liam:** Add Brian to the chat also. He didn't believe me when I told him how annoying you guys are, so he needs to be involved. xxx-xxx-xxxx

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** K

_Chat admin added user: Brian Yu_

_☆Sparky☆ changes Brian Yu's chat name to UndeadRiot_

**Liam:** Brian says he refuses to acknowledge this chat's existence.

**Medusa:** I didn't know that was an option. Stop blowing up my phone. I'm muting you. 

**Medusa** : xxx-xxx-xxxx wuwjahhqhajajb

**HerMajesty:** Are you alright Vera???

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Vera's probly fine im gonna add that number though 😅

_Chat Admin added user: Amira Rashid_

_Amira Rashid changed their name to BlazinHot._

**BlazinHot:** Hell yeah! I knew you guys would get it.

**☆Sparky☆** : What did you do to Vera?!?!?

**BlazinHot:** i snatched her phone

**Liam:** Childish.

**BlazinHot:** Why was this chat created?

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** scroll 2 the top 😘

**BlazinHot:** …

**BlazinHot** : Thank you for your contribution to my will to live Polly. That is totally Oz in that photo. There is only one monster I know that shows up blank on a camera.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Ur welcome! 🤗

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Btw. that shit with the camera is super cool, but also going to be annoying as I'll get out.

**HerMajesty:** What is this chat going to be used for now? 

**Medusa:** If the purpose of this chat has been completed, does that mean I can delete it?

**BlazinHot:** Noooo Vera! It's got potential!

**BlazinHot:** ehwjwuuq<×<×;,% _@^Yyyaygwuj eijwhavauaiqk

**Medusa:** I did you all a favor and confiscated Amira's phone.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** but she was right!

**Amira:** About what?

**☆Sparky☆:** How did you get your phone back?!?!?

**Medusa:** She's persistent and annoying.

**Amira:** ☹

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Amira was right about this chat having potential though!

**Liam:** I'll regret asking, but what are you talking about?

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** we can use this chat to keep track of Damien and Oz! they literally are the cutest and i don't want to miss it 😍😘😉

**☆Sparky☆:** You want us to virtually stalk our friend.

**Liam:** …

**HerMajesty:** …

**Medusa:** …

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** yes.

**BlazinHot** : eh, we've done worse, sure

**☆Sparky☆:** (Photo Link) (Photo Link) (Photo Link) (Photo Link) (Photo Link) (Photo Link) (Photo Link) (Photo Link)

**☆Sparky☆:** These are all the cute friendship photos I have so far. I AM IN! Also, yes, I totally did use a black expo to draw Oz in!

**BlazinHot:** Brian, you in?

**UndeadRiot:**...fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Avery the succubas is a minor OC that that'll be popping up throughout the story as a plot device. If you haven't figured it out yet, she's a bitch. Don't worry, you'll hate her more as the story continues.


	22. DOUBLE BATTLE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dahlia vs. Damian and Oz vs. The Slayer  
> Who will win?! Will anybody win?! What if nobody wins?

The rest of Oz's first few weeks at Spooky High goes normally. Well, as normal as a school of monsters can be. Polly left her DJ equipment and speakers in the school's backyard so there's always some kind of rave going on out back 24/7, after the fire alarms went off five times on the second day the principal turned them off entirely, and almost none of the students are following the actual schedule anymore. In fact, Oz is pretty sure he's the only person even trying to go to all the classes. 

Amira avoids all the classes like the plague, Vicky goes wherever she wants on a whim, Brian finds a quiet corner to listen to music and only leaves said corner at lunch, and Damien's almost always causing entropy anywhere other than where he's supposed to be. 

However, despite trying his best, Oz cannot say he hasn't skipped classes before too. Oz hadn't expected many students to be giving off fear. He should have, after hearing about all the stress and insecurities school causes, but he still stayed completely naive. The first and second day weren't that bad, with everyone too excited and new to the school for such negative emotions, but as the days went on and people started fitting into cliques there came the fear. It didn't bother Oz at first. He's been to battle fields full of terrified soldiers waiting to bite the dust, so the teenage fear of being rejected is something Oz can ignore, right? Wrong.

Then, as the day went on, the fearful thoughts started stacking with other peoples' and refused to go away. At that point Oz had one hell of a migraine and knowing what happens when his head gets too bad he smartly skipped three classes in a row to get away from the other students. 

Who even knew there were so many ways to be afraid in school? The fear of isolation, of failure, social rejection, persecution, and some kid even had the irrational fear of pencils. Oz has terrible anxiety, but all these other people's endless stream of subtle dread makes him very thankful to not be them. It must be tiring to be afraid all day.

It just so happens that today is one of the days Oz feels the need to skip. After one teacher with a sleeping bag tried to fail an entire class and Damien set a kid on fire, tension in most of the students was through the roof. After going through two periods with a killer headache, Oz gave in to the pain and retreated to the bathroom to rest. 

Lucky for Oz, nobody is there to bother him, so with a sigh of relief, Oz leans against the wall and pulls out his phone to watch some of the baking videos Amira's been spamming him with. The baking club members don't get their keys until right before the first official meeting, but Amira insists on Oz being 'prepared.' Oz knows in all actuality she just wants fancy pastries.

As Oz watches video after video his phobias pop up on his shoulders to add commentary. Although anyone else would just hear squeaks instead of witty discussions, Oz knows the truth. His phobias are just as smart as any normal person and he sometimes gets his best ideas from the little shadow creatures. Like right now, as Pemmaphobia immediately converts the measurements on screen from and to the metric system for fun.

After about an hour, Oz's headache is almost gone and he's considering going to the class before lunch. That is, until the door to the bathroom flies open and a familiar red blur slams the door shut and locks it. Instead of focusing on Damien, Oz considers the hazards of putting a lock on the actual door to the bathroom instead of just on the stalls.

"Ozzie? What are you doing here? I thought you actually went to classes," Damien snaps Oz out of his inner thoughts.

"Um, I had a horrible headache so I skipped class," Oz replies, then stares at the door Damien just rushed through, "What... did you do?"

Ignoring Oz's question Damien looks confused, "You can get headaches? How does that even work?"

"All three hundred students I pass at school send me their bad thoughts all day," Oz shrugs, "It hurts my head sometimes."

"Wow. That must fucking suck," Damien glances at the locked door.

"I'll ask again. What did you do Dames?" 

"Nothing this time," Damien crosses his arms and scowls, "Did you know that that Slayer bitch from the mall is enrolled here? Cause I sure as hell didn't."

"You were running away from Slayer?" Oz says shocked. Damien isn't usually one to run away, even if it's the smart thing to do.

"WHAT?! Hell no, I'm not a coward!" Damien's scowl turns into a smirk, "That bitch tried to ambush me and I remembered how she hates demons, so I led her to Dahlia then ducked in here to wait and see who dies."

Oz chuckles. That makes more sense. He walks up to the bathroom door and places his ear to it. 

"HEY! Stop throwing that stuff at me! What did I do to you?!" The voices through the door are barely muffled for Oz and his excellent hearing, so he immediately recognizes it as Dahlia.

"You ask what you have done?! You stand between a beast that needs to be killed and the SLAYER-" Oz steps away from the door. He doesn't need to hear Slayer's big speech twice.

"Oh they are definitely fighting alright," Oz turns to Damien.

"Wait. You can hear them through the door?!" Damien grabs Oz's shoulders while sporting his signature bloodthirsty smile.

"You want me to tell you what they're saying," Oz states instead of asking. Damien's flame-filled eyes are enough of an answer.

Oz steps back to the door and places his ear against it. A couple of his phobias form and do the same thing. Oz starts relaying everything he hears to Damien.

There's a loud shattering noise that Oz can only assume is a bottle Slayer threw.

"Tell me where you hid the red demon, or I'll send you back to Hell, where you belong!" Slayer shouts.

"I don't know where LaVey is! If I did I'd be challenging him to a fight right now!" Dahlia growls.

Suddenly, the sounds of a scuffle stops completely, "Why would you fight a fellow demon? Are you not an ally to him like the shadow NPC?"

" _ ME  _ being friends with Damien LaVey?!" Dahlia bursts out laughing, "I would die first! That bastard deserves worse than Hell."

"Well that's fucking overkill," Damien growls once Oz repeats what's happening outside the bathroom to him.

"Oh… well then. I don't know… what to do now. You're not my target, so..." Slayer sounds very lost, "You…umm... y-you said you didn't know which way the red one went?"

"No, but if you do find him, tell me and I'll help you beat the guy up," Dahlia says gruffly, "I don't know what beef you have with him, but I'd be willing to help punch some humility into that guy. My advice is to just look for the nearest thing on fire."

"Why does that demon insist on setting everything he touches on fire!? I thought it was just part of his species, but you seem so much more amicable," Slayer grumbles.

"LaVey was raised in the 8th circle of Hell. They're known for being brutes and assholes," Dahlia says as if it explains everything, "I wouldn't expect anything else from him."

"It's just so annoying! He just acts all arrogant and stuck-up even when I threaten him," Slayer growls, "It's like, I know you're a high level enemy, get over yourself!"

"Agreed. LaVey can't keep his cockiness in check. It makes him insufferable," Dahlia claps, "Like I said, if you find him give me a call. I'd be willing to help with  _ his _ murder. Here's my number."

"Oh, here's mine," The quiet sounds of typing are heard as the two exchange numbers.

"Do you want me to just put you on my phone under Slayer or…?" Dahlia asks Slayer curiously.

"Ummm… does this mean you're a part of my party now?" Slayer sounds embarrassed.

"If that means you want to be friends. Sure," Dahlia says pumped, "Anyone as good at fighting as you is welcome to be my friend. Well, other than LaVey, but that's a given."

"Well then, you can Aaravi Mishra, or just Aaravi is fine," The Slayer chuckles, "Only my party members get to call me that though, so keep it to yourself."

At this point Oz stops listening and turns to a pissed Damien.

"They just stopped fighting and decided to be friends?! How the hell does that work?!"

"I believe they bonded over the fact that they both hate you," Oz points out a little shocked at the outcome of the fight.

"THAT'S SO FUCKING DUMB!" Damien pushes past Oz, unlocks the door, and rushes towards the two… blushing girls?!

Filing that tidbit in the back of his mind later because Vicky will appreciate it, Oz rushes after Damien to make sure he doesn't get himself killed.

"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU TWO GO FROM FIGHTING TO BEING BUDDY BUDDY OVER HATING ME?!" Damien shouts in anger. Oz thinks that Damien's question is pretty self explanatory, but stays quiet.

" **_Lavey_ ** ..." Dahlia's blush turns into a scowl.

"DEMON!" Slayer pulls a long blade out from under her cloak, "You attempted to deceive me and run away, but your plan has backfired! I now have a second high-leveled party member thanks to you!"

Oz only sees three things he can do in this situation. Either he goes along with whatever happens and probably fight both the highly skilled girls, shadow hop Damien without his permission and have him be angry at Oz all day, or he can try to calm the two down and desculates the situation. Oz predictably goes for number three.

"How about none of us do anything drastic and just calm-" 

Slayer doesn't let Oz finish, "Shut up you stupid NPC! Neither of you will escape our fury!"

Damien lights both his hands on fire and his eyes promise pain, "Nobody insults my friends but me!"

"You don't get to tell us what to do LaVey!" Dahlia takes a fighting stance.

Well, that didn't work. Number two then. Oz slowly gets closer to Damien, so he can get them both out of this unfortunate situation. Slayer notices Oz advancement however and smirks.

"Don't think you're getting away this time!" Slayer pulls out another glass bottle, but this time instead of aiming at Damien she throws it directly at the ground.

The moment the potion makes impact, a purple light shines outwards that blinds Damien and Dahlia momentarily. Oz immediately knows what the magical concoction does and tenses. That's number two out the window. He can feel his connection with the void disappear entirely. What kind of plot convenience is this?!

"What was that?!" Damien growls once he can see again, "Did you just throw some type of fancy fucking flash bomb at us?! Like that was helpful."

"That specialty item stops transportation magic for 3,500 seconds at a mile wide radius," Slayer laughs arrogantly, "There's no flee option this round. You'll have to fight."

Well, the potion lasts six minutes. That only leaves option one. It seems it's time for a fight.

"Oh, you'll get a fucking fight!" Damien lunges at Dahlia with flaming hands.

Slayer moves to intercept Damien, but Oz is already in front of her. Despite resolving to fight, Oz tries to convince Slayer this isn't a worthy cause.

"Get out of my way!" Slayer slashes her dagger towards Oz's neck to which he easily sidesteps.

"Look Slayer, I know you have this whole grudge thing from the mall against us, but can't we just calm down and discuss our grievances peacefully?" Oz asks nicely.

"I have no problems with you NPC, but you just keep getting in the way of my goal. If you leave now I promise I won't kill you," The way Slayer shouts. This makes it very abundantly apparent that everything she's saying is one hundred percent true to her.

"Slayer, you really have no chance of killing me and I don't plan on killing you, so this fighting is silly and stupid," Oz tries again.

"Silly and stupid!" Slayer growls, "I thought you were the smart one out of the two, but it seems you're just as much of a fool as the red one!"

"Hey! I know where we can start!" Oz snaps his fingers in the middle of fighting while ignoring Slayer, "You know my name, but not my friend's. The red demon you've been trying to kill is Damien LaVey. Now you're acquainted!"

Slayer attempts to stab Oz, but he just slaps the blade away effortlessly to the Slayer's dismay, "What level are you?!?!"

"I don't know why you have something out for Damien, but maybe we could start there," Oz continues to try and calm Slayer down.

"OZZIE! STOP TRYING TO TALK AND WRECK HER SHIT!" Oz looks up to see Damien yelling from across the hallway while still in a fiery fistfight with Dahlia.

"Dames! We're classmates! No matter what, we're still going to have classes and activities together!" Oz protests, "I don't want to be enemies!"

"BUT-" Damien tries to protest but gets stuck in another exchange of punches from Dahlia.

When Oz looks back to Slayer she seems surprised and thoughtful, "You're saying, that because we're going to the same school, we'll see each other all the time, and that because of that we shouldn't engage in combat? You've concluded that in the future we might need allies and if we fight now, we get rid of two possible companions in a fight against a higher level enemy farther down in the storyline?"

That was not what Oz was trying to get out, but instead of disagreeing, he nods. Right now Slayer has stopped trying to fight and is at least calmer than before. Oz won't mess that up.

"That is a very logical point. You do seem to be smarter than your friend Damien," Still, Slayer looks torn, "But that would mean I'd have to stop fighting monsters! I have to continue to avenge my mother and lost brother! I won't let some monster with the silver tongue skill and a high charisma lead me astray! All monsters that act like Damien must die!"

Two loud thunk sounds are heard from beside the battling monsters. Both the Slayer and Oz turn just in time to see both Dahlia and Damien hit the floor. Both seem to be out cold.

"Did they just-"

"They both just knocked the other out cold," Oz sighs and nods, "Can we make a peace agreement now? I'll get my demon and you'll get yours? Then we can continue this whole mess at a different time."

"M-my demon?" Slayer seems flustered at Oz's phrasing.

Slayer's reaction only causes Oz to get anxious, "O-oh, well sorry for saying something like that. I didn't mean that. Well, I meant the part about you get Dahlia and I'll get Damien, but when I said the other bit I didn't mean to insinuate-"

"Ah, no. I-I got that it was just the way you said it. I didn't know if it seemed like we were- oh but you said that-" Slayer continues just as horribly as Oz.

"Oh god I called Damien mine didn't I?! I didn't mean it that way either. I was just trying to say we shouldn't continue with the two of them passed out," Oz tries to backtrack.

Both opposing monsters stay in an extremely awkward silence for a moment before Slayer breaks it.

"I guess I'm going to drag my party member to the nurse so she can recover health and stamina. I'll let you do what you need to with yours as long as we don't speak of this conversation again," Slayer looks just as embarrassed as Oz feels, "I made some very poor dialogue choices."

"Yeah," Oz nods quickly, "It's a good thing most people stay away from the bathroom when class is supposed to be in session otherwise a bunch of people might have seen that."

Slayer nods and walks over to Dahlia, before leaning down and hoisting her over her shoulder. Oz is a bit impressed by the Slayer's strength, but looks away to focus on Damien. He has a black eye, but other than that he seems fine.

Oz waves goodbye to Slayer, (She waves back) and walks over to Damien to scoop him up bridal style. Silently, Oz makes it his mission for nobody else to see the two. Damien would not like being carried this way, so Oz will keep this his little secret. With perfect timing, the potion blocking Oz's shadow hopping wears off and he sighs.

With less perfect timing, the bell rings for lunch and Oz can hear people make their way into the halls. In a panic, Oz hops to the cafeteira before anyone else gets there and dumps Damien into the nearest chair before looking around. The lunch lady sends Oz a questioning glance, but once she realizes Damien's alive she quickly loses interest. Rushing across the room Oz grabs an unopened water bottle before returning to the still unconscious Damien. Oz uncaps the bottle and unceremoniously dumps the contents on Damien's head.

Damien's eyes shoot open and he jumps up in a fighting stance, "WHO IN THE FUCKING-"

"Hey Dames! Are you alright?" Oz grabs his arm to get Damien's attention.

"Ozzie? What the hell happened? Me and Dahlia were fighting and then-" 

"You both knocked the other unconscious at the same time and me and Slayer had to take care of you," Oz finishes.

"We both WHAT?!" Damien says, still very confused.

"Knocked the other out cold. Out like a light," Oz clarifies, "Slayer said she took Dahlia to the nurse, but I figured if I did that you would be angry about getting dragged there and just leave. Since the bell for lunch rang, I decided here was the best place."

"But Dahlia and the Slayer just met," Damien still looks confused, "Why would she just let you stop the damn fight? With all the times I've met the bitch she's been a persistent little shit."

"Because she said they were a part of the same party or something like that," Oz leaves out that the awkward conversation after the demons passed out was also a part of the cause.

"She's a fucking wierdo," Damien growls.

"Not as much as you are for running out and challenging two of our classmates to a fight because they were getting along," Oz scolds.

"SHE STARTED IT!" Damien cries in protest as the first few students enter the room, see Damien yelling, and then promptly leave.

Oz offers Damien nothing but an unimpressed look and a sigh.

"Umm…" Damien tries to change the subject, "Do you still have a headache?"

Oz sees what Damien's doing, but allows him an out just this once, "I actually don't anymore."

Damien shoulders relax as he continues on the same route of conversation, "If you can get headaches can you actually get sick? It would be pretty damn convenient if you couldn't."

Oz looks thoughtful, "You know what? I don't actually know? It's never happened before."

Damien definatly didn't rope Oz into answering a fuck ton of questions to avoid getting lectured. Nope, never.

Oz definitely didn't know what Damien was doing and decided to go along with it so they could sit together at lunch. Nope, never.

\------------------------Extra------------------------

"So Oz and Damien are having lunch together?" Brian asks when he doesn't spot a familiar shadow boy at their usual table.

"Yeah. How'd you know?" Vicky asks curiously.

"Those two are literally attached at the hip most of the time. It wasn't that far off of a guess," Amira sighs, "Why does Oz get to have somebody pining after him all the time? Why can't I be blessed with someone willing to follow me around all the time to prove their affections?"

"Because it would be annoying," Brian deadpans.

"Wait, you think Damien's pining after Oz?" Vicky already has stars in her eyes.

"Are you blind Vicky? It's seriously the most obvious thing in the world," Amira looks at her seriously, "Everytime he walks into a room he searches for Oz, they text like twenty-four seven, and did you not watch the same video in the group chat as me? Hell, were you  _ in  _ the same group chat?"

"Well yeah, but I thought it was just because they were really good friends, or Damien is just secretly sweet around friends!" Vicky tries to defend her honor.

"Have you not seen how he acts around his other friends? Oh, wait. You've been way too busy staring at a certain werewolf from across the halls. Haven't you?"

Vicky's face turns bright red, "W-What?! N-no I haven't!"

"At least Damien knew Oz for a couple of months before he fell head over heels," Amira chuckles, "You've known Scott for less than three weeks and you're crushing hard."

"Hmph! Well, what about you and Vera then!" Vicky pouts angrily, "You've been trying to flirt with her everytime you're together!"

"I-I shut up!" Amira and Vicky have copycat blushes at this point.

"Why do you two always have to tease each other like this? You know what happens," Brian sighs while eating.

"I was defending myself!" Vicky pouts, while Amira glares at her.

"Really Vicky?" Brian sends her an unimpressed look.

"Pft, like you're any better," Vicky crosses her arms and huffs.

"And what does that mean?" Brian chuckles.

"She's talking about your little vampire friend that you listen to music with," Amira's blush is gone and she's back to throwing humorous jabs.

Anybody that doesn't know Brian would think that this statement didn't affect him at all, but Vicky and Amira can tell by the almost miniscule moment he pauses before relaxing again.

"We both just have similar tastes," Brian shrugs, "Is that so weird?"

Vicky offers Brian a sarcastic smile, "Nope. I  _ guess  _ not."

"Absolutely. not weird at all," Amira adds, also sarcastically.

At that, the three friends grow very quiet for the next ten minutes until Vicky breaks the silence.

"Do you think we-"

Amira cuts Vicky off, "No Vick."

"You don't even know-"

This time it's Brian, "We are not playing matchmaker for Oz."

"But-"

"If we let you play matchmaker for Oz, we get to do it for you and Scott," Amira warns.

Vicky's face goes pale and after a moment calm acceptance settles on the excited Frankenstein's monster. 

"Fine," Vicky sighs in disappointment.

Amira and Brian share a glance before one of them speaks up, "Just because you can't physically try and get them together we won't stop you from gushing. Go ahead, we know you want to."

Stars are back in Vicky's eyes as she lists all the reasons why Oz and Damien would be cute together along with all the ways they could confess. Amira and Brian let her ramble without actually contributing to the conversation apart from nods, hums, and grunts.


	23. Any Buyers?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for Oz to meet the school's notorious shopkeeper. What goods will he end up buying?

As the days pass at Spooky High, one thing starts to really sink in with Oz. The school has quite the colorful cast of people in it. Notice he said in it, instead of enrolled. That's because Oz isn't even sure some of the people causing chaos are students. For example, the Interdimensional Prince.

The guy walks out of a pocket in space in one of the classrooms, introduces himself, then confesses his undying love for Miranda before offering to marry her. To make it even worse, when Miranda (predictably) says no, he just disappears and asks Liam to marry him the next day. Just why? What's even the point? Is he just some horny dimension/time traveler or does he actually have a reason for his behavior? 

Even the normal students are difficult to understand sometimes. The Slayer has continuously been asking Oz how he got enough exp to level up, the Coven tried to rope Oz into using his telepathy to speak to an undead sorceress, Dahlia keeps asking Oz about Damien's weaknesses, and that's still excluding the big six!

Vera, Polly, Miranda, Liam, Scott, and Damien. They are always causing some type of ruckus. It's probably why they're already Spooky High's self-proclaimed popular kids. Well, that and the fact that each of them has charisma and personality to spare.

It's turned into some type of competition between Amira, Vicky, Brian. They keep track of how many weird situations people drag them into, then compare numbers at the end of the week. Oz asked them one day when they were hanging out why he's exempt, not that Oz really minded. Vicky just told him that he's a natural trouble magnet and putting him in the competition would be like having a fish race a horse. Oz laughed it off then, but the statement stuck in his head.

After the first half of today he's officially adopted the title as a description of his existence. Just this morning Oz had to help Vicky chase Harold after he hopped into the boys' locker room, stopped Polly from snorting cursed cocaine, broke up an argument between the Coven and Liam, given the Slayer life advice, (Why would she come to him of all people?) and Oz did all that while keeping his favorite demon from killing whatever annoyed him. 

Now that lunchtime is here, Oz plans on sitting at an empty table, by himself, far away from whatever chaos his friends are brewing. They don't eat together at school everyday so he can hopefully get away with it. However, Oz's plans are yet again disrupted when he realizes not a single table is empty. 

He accesses his options. Polly, Scott, and Vicky are whispering together quietly while looking around suspiciously. Nope, that's trouble waiting to happen. Amira's talking with the Interdimensional Prince, who is probably sulking about getting rejected again. Another no, he'll get dragged into fixing his problems. Vera, Liam, and Polly are arguing loudly at another table. Conflict, need Oz say more? The second to last table, Damien is openly threatening Dahlia with a blade while Slayer insults him. Brian's also sitting there though, so Oz trusts him to mediate if things really get bad.

The last table catches Oz's eye. There's only one person there, and Oz has yet to see them around the school. It seems to be a cat girl with pink hair and ear piercings. She looks relatively harmless, so Oz decides she's his best bet at a calm lunch. He approaches the table slowly. Even if she seems calm, Oz knows firsthand how looks can be deceiving.

"Hello. I don't believe I've met you yet. D-do you mind if I sit here?" Oz curses his anxious stutter and rudeness for not warning the girl about his speech method.

To Oz's surprise however, the cat girl sends Oz an unimpressed look and gestures for him to sit down, "Sure shadow boy."

"U-um, my name's Oz. It's nice to meet you…?" 

"Valerie. I'm the shopkeeper," She turns away from Oz and pulls a cigarette out of nowhere before lighting it, "What do you want?"

"O-oh, well I just saw you and realized you're probably the only person I haven't met in the school," Oz explains, "I thought I should introduce myself."

Valerie turns to Oz and starts looking him up and down in an analytical way. Oz shifts under her gaze in discomfort before she lets out a relieved sigh.

Valerie mumbles something under her breath before grabbing her backpack from under the table and going through it.

Oz is sure he wasn't supposed to hear what Valerie mumbled, but he has supernatural hearing. So when Valerie said, "He's just like Vera said he was." Oz heard her clear as day. Oz is less surprised by the fact Valerie knows Vera then the fact Vera apparently talks about him. 

Oz pushes these thoughts to the back of his head. This isn't the time to ponder Vera's motives for the things she does. That would take decades to decipher.

"Umm… what are you doing?" Oz points at the backpack.

"I just said I'm the shopkeeper. You're friends are literally the only people who haven't met me yet, so I'm going to advertise my wares and let you spread the word," Valerie tugs a bunch of miscellaneous items from her bag.

"Advertise your wares?" Oz is already starting to regret taking a chance and sitting here.

"Of course!" Valerie sounds much more enthused than earlier, "Let me show off my products! Pick an item and I'll tell you all about it!"

"O-ok?" Oz looks at the display of goods, because it is a large display.

There were things as simple as a temporary tattoo to what looked like an actual body. Oz avoids looking at that so he can have deniability later if things go south. He skims the other stuff and-

"I-Is that a used tampon?" Oz wants to gag.

"Yep! It's got the blood of the previous prom queen. You can use it for blood rituals or if you're some type of creep… other things. It'll run you a buck because I want to get rid of it," Valerie then glares at Oz, "Don't you dare ask me how I got it."

"Um… I do not want that, so no thank you," Oz tries to be polite, but Valerie's gaze falls a little. Way to ruin your first impression Oz!

"Well ok then," Valeries says, frowning as she puts the tampon away.

Desperate to not seem like a jerk, Oz searches the goods for something to buy that one, isn't disgusting, and two, won't link him to a murder. He spots something that fits the description, and don't worry, it's not the bagged cocaine.

"What about that?" Oz points across the table at a dusty floppy disc.

Valerie's eyes light up, "Oh, that! You've got a good eye Oz. That's an arcane floppy disc. It's probably full of mysterious long forgotten magic since… well, who the hell uses floppy discs nowadays? It's also probably really dangerous, but fuck it! Buy it and put it in a computer to see what happens. I'll charge a discounted price of seven dollars since this is your first time buying something too."

Oz would feel bad denying Valerie another sale and he definitely has enough money after the robbery to give her a couple bucks, so he reaches into his pockets and hands her the cash.

"Sure, I'll buy," Valerie grabs the cash from Oz then slides the floppy disc to him. 

Once he has the disc, Oz hands it to a newly formed phobia on his shoulder for safekeeping. Feeling better about at least buying something from Valerie, Oz grows more confident in asking about her other goods, and Valerie is happy to show off. The entire lunch period flies by as Valerie and Oz get lost in a discussion about the uses of a fake latin accent and a sheet with eye holes in it. 

They are both so into their conversation that Oz stops stuttering and Valerie forgets to embellish her goods with exaggerations. A few monsters approach the table, only to leave when they hear a hypothetical murder plan centered around Angel's blood. Oz questions Valerie on why anybody would have use for a penguin mask, only for her to explain the Reverse Romainian Wilkinson and other unusual kinky crap. Oz couldn't change the subject fast enough after that. Overall, Oz is happy he decided to sit here of all places. This is the start of beautiful friendship.

The two monsters continue talking until the loud bell signaling five minutes until lunch ends startles both of them. It almost causes Valerie to drop the motivational poster she was showing Oz.

"Lunch is almost over? It feels like I just got in here," Oz thinks out loud.

"Yeah," Valerie nods in agreement, "You're a very good audience, y'know that?"

Oz's face heats up a little at the praise, "N-no, you're just a good salesperson. You kept my attention."

Now Valerie has a tint of pink on her nose, "Thanks. You're a pretty neat guy Oz. Most people would have gotten bored and left."

Oz tilts his head in surprise, "But all this stuff is crazy interesting? Why wouldn't someone want to hear about it and then maybe buy it."

Valerie shrugs, "I dunno. Their loss right?"

"Definitely," Oz agrees with an amused huff.

"Well, anyways," Valerie leans forward and looks past Oz. Oz follows the cat girl's gaze to see that she's looking at the clock, "I have just enough time to tell you about one more of my wares."

"Great!" Oz says with real enthusiasm. 

Valerie reaches into her backpack and pulls out a gnarly looking figure, "This… is the Power Totem of Z'Gord, ruler of the dark realm. I'm not quite sure if it's safe for the school, or the fabric of reality, if I sell this thing to the sudents, but I've been wanting a pair of kickass boots lately...so, fuck safety."

The moment the name Z'Gord is out of Valerie's mouth, Oz takes a closer look at the totem. To his horror, it is absolutely the totem that holds the eldritch being. Oh no, that is not good.

"How much is it?" Oz says this a little too calmly for someone panicking so badly.

"Oh… you want it? It's fifteen dollars. Just between you and me though-" Valerie leans forward, "I think it's actually just a fake made to scare people."

Oz gulps and tries to act nonchalant, "Yeah, but i-it still looks cool right? I think I'll take it."

Valerie smiles and shrugs, "If you want it you got it."

Oz hands Valerie the cash and Oz practically snatches the totem from her. Hopefully, this averted the apocalypse. Oz does not want to see another one of those. Not one bit. He hands the totem to another phobia to put away. The black blob takes one glance at the totem and lets out a tiny squawk of surprise before rushing into the void to hide it.

"Y'know Oz. You just bought my two most possibly dangerous items," Valerie jokes, "I can see why the red boy hangs around you. He must have a thing for trouble."

Valerie's statement only confuses Oz, "Red boy? A thing for danger? I don't know what you're talking about."

Valerie's teasing expression turns to one of shock, then pure amusement, "You really haven't noticed how he-? Nevermind, just be careful with what I sold you alright. I just met one of the few decent people at this school and I don't want them to die a violent death."

"Oh, I don't think you need to be worried." Oz can't die a violent death.

"Okay well, I believe the bell's about to-"

**_BRRRRRIIIIINNNNNNGGG!_ **

"There it is," Valerie claps her hands then starts loading all her stuff back in her backpack, "I've gotta go set up shop elsewhere, but please come sit with me again. It was nice."

Oz watches as Valerie stuffs things that should not fit in the backpack, into the backpack. Looks like her and Vicky have the same type of void in the bottom of their bags. 

It's then that Oz registers what Valerie said, "Okay, I'll hopefully see you later then. I enjoyed having lunch with someone that's… how do I say this, less chaotic than average around her."

"Heh, That's a good way to put it," Valerie chuckles a bit, "Remember that if you need to buy something, it's Valerie Oberlin. That's V-A-L-E-R-I-E O-B-E-R-L-I-N. Ya got that?"

Oz wishes he could smile, "I sure do."

Valerie yanks her backpack over her shoulder and with a small wave, and leaves the mostly empty lunch room. Oz waves after her. 

As Oz leaves, the presence of the totem in his void sets him on edge. There's a sense of foreboding. Z'Gord and Oz aren't that different. While Oz eats fear, Z'Gord preyed on the insanity of her victims. He's seen the bloodshed she's left behind in her rampages, and he refuses to let his new school get  _ completely _ obliterated by her rage. However, if it comes down to it. Oz is sure he can beat the other eldritch being in a fight. Afterall, she's lost her armies. Oz has one at the tip of his fingers.

Oz is so lost in thought that he doesn't even consider how Valerie and Vera have the same last name.

\----------------Later that Night-----------------

"OZ! HOW DARE YOU THROW A BLUE SHELL AT ME YOU JERK! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!" Amira shouts of rage reverberate through Oz's house.

"It wasn't personal Amira," Oz shrugs while focusing on the game, "I just want to win."

"You've literally placed twelvth the last four rounds! You're not going to win," Vicky chuckles as the Mario Cart theme plays.

"That's why I did it. I am going to win this round. I'm already doing better than every other race," Oz keeps his eyes on the screen with deadly focus.

"YOU'RE A TRYHARD OZ! I DAMN TRYHARD!" Amira shots, still upset.

Brian chuckles and hits Oz in game, causing him to be sent back three places, "Don't be too confident in your progress."

Oz just sighs, "I should have known."

"HELL YEAH BRIAN! KNOCK THAT ASS DOWN A FEW PEGS!" Amira shouts in triumph.

Brian immediately hits Amira in the game, "You're welcome."

"BRIAN! WE WERE BONDING!" Amira screams in betrayal.

"No teaming!" Vicky shouts in amusement, "Mario Kart is supposed to break friendships not strengthen them."

Brian crosses the finish line in first place, followed by Amira, followed by Vicky. All three monsters snicker to each other as they wait for Oz to cross the finish line in last place.

"Welp, I'm done," Oz sets the controller on the coffee table, "I don't need to lose again after that."

"But Oz-" 

Oz stops Vicky with a look, "Nope. Not again. I have to keep some dignity. I can't just throw it all away."

Amira laughs and Vicky crosses her arms and pouts, "Fine, but what are we going to do now?"

"Now?" Oz looks thoughtful, "Well why don't you tell us how the football practices went Vicky?"

"Why would you ask Vicky when the actual player is over here?" Brian looks tired, but then again. He always looks tired.

"Because you probably don't feel the need to talk about it, and if Vicky doesn't gush about something. She's going to explode."

Brain shrugs in acceptance and Amira chuckles.

"I'm glad you asked Oz!" Vicky smiles ear to ear, "I brought a cooler full of water and made a sparkly sign with Brian's name on it. Coach didn't really want me there, but he also couldn't make me leave so I cheered the whole time! When they finished, Scott rushed up and told me how cool it was that I brought refreshments and made a sign. He really, really likes glitter you know! Oh, and I decided to make another sign for him and his cousins because of how much they liked the sparkles. Oh, oh, oh and-!"

"Did you even watch Brian at practice, or were you too busy watching Scott run around?" Amira leans closer to Vicky with a sly expression.

Oz's eyebrows furrow in confusion. What is Amira implying? Of course Vicky would watch Scott, he's also on the team. Plus he shares Vicky's energy.

Oz is even more confused when Vicky goes bright red, "I WATCHED BRIAN PLAY! W-Why would I k-keep my eyes on Scott? That's dumb, you're dumb! Let's change the subject!?! Oz when are you going to make us baked goods?!"

Amira looks oddly proud and Brian seems amused. Oz glances at Brain questionly hoping for an explanation at Vicky's over the top response. Brian sends him a look that says Oz won't understand.

With everybody's attention turning to him, Oz shrugs off the weird feeling and answers Vicky's question, "Well, the first meeting is tomorrow. We'll be getting our personal keys then, so I can start using the kitchen whenever I want. It'll probably be a few weeks before I really perfect a recipe though."

"You get a personal key?" Amira leans forward on the edge of the couch and Oz sees where this conversation is going.

"Nope. You are not allowed to even see my key, forget using it," Oz shuts Amira down hard.

"Uh, that's your no fun," Amira frowns and sinks back into the couch, "Now I'll have to pick locks. That makes things more boring…"

Vicky suddenly gets a very similar smirk to what Amira had earlier, "I'm sure Vera would be thrilled to help you have some fun if you're bored at school. Why don't you just ask her for something to do, I'm sure you would love to have her owe you something?"

Amira has the same reaction to the teasing as Vicky and turns a shade of red darker than her flaming red hair, "W-what are you- You n-need to- I can't- Shut up Vicky!"

Amira places her head in her hands as Vicky laughs. Oz glances between the two girls. He's missing something isn't he?

"As much as you would like Vera owing you a favor I bet you'd  _ really _ like it if it was the other way around, " Vicky takes another teasing jab at Amira.

Amira looks up even more flustered before she suddenly grabs a pillow from the couch and screams into it. Vicky bursts into a full blown laughing fit, and Amira screams for a solid thirty seconds more. Oz looks at Brian again and through his own chuckling he sends Oz another you would not understand look.

Amira pulls her head from the pillow and glares at Brian and Vicky before turning to Oz with some type of epiphany, "Oz! You didn eat with any of us at lunch today! That was odd, tell us about it!"

"What do you mean it was odd? We don't eat together all the-" Amira shakes her head no just a little and Oz realizes what she wants, "You want me to change the subject! Oh, ok."

Amira facepalms along with Brian and Vicky. Oz realizes his mistake, but continues in the hopes of everybody just looking over it. He summons a phobia and it pulls out the floppy disc from earlier in the cafeteria to hand to Oz.

"I actually saw this cat girl named Valerie who I hadn't met yet and decided to sit with her," At this point all Oz's friends are done facepalming and are paying attention to Oz's story, "Turns out she calls herself a shopkeeper and will sell you all kinds of interesting stuff. I got this old floppy disc that she said was probably dangerous."

Oz decided there was no way hell he was going to show his friends the totem. If Brian was the only one here… maybe, but Vicky and Amira  _ would  _ bring Z'Gord back. Probably not on purpose, but they would nonetheless.

"Valerie?" Amira seems to be thinking about Oz's story.

"Interesting things?" Brian asks out loud to himself.

"A probably cursed floppy disc!" Vicky lunges forward and steals the disc from Oz, "I am going to have so much fun with this!"

"Heh, that's why I'm happy you reminded me Amira," Oz watched Vicky stare at the disc with sparks in her eyes, "I kind of bought that to be polite, so I had no idea what to do with it. Plus, I'm terrible with tech, so I figured Vicky would be better suited with the thing. If you hadn't reminded me I would have forgotten to give it to her at all."

"I can have it!" Vicky squeals when Oz nods, "That's awesome! I've gotta go show this to Harold!"

"Well, I guess that means game night is over," Brian stands up and stretches, "See you guys at school in the morning?"

"Yeah, obviously," Amira scoffs as she too, gets up and heads towards the door.

"Yeah, I'll see you guys in the morning," Oz stands up and walks his friends to the door, "Vicky, don't blow the power grid in your apartment while you tinker with the floppy disc, okay?"

"Heh, no promises!" Vicky chuckles then runs away.

Oz has gotten into the habit of not asking his friends if they need a ride. Mostly because Brian insisted Oz didn't need to.

Brian sends Oz an exasperated look before he starts down the opposite street.

Amira stands at the door a moment looking thoughtful, "You said the girl at lunch's name is Valerie, right?"

Oz nods in confusion.

Without explaining herself, Amira turns and walks away mumbling, "Where have I heard that name before? I swear…"

Oz shrugs and closes the door.

\----------------------Extra-------------------------

It was kind of cute. Not in the way one would look at a puppy or a cute kid, but more in the way a rabid doberman tries to protect a street cat. In theory, it shouldn't be possible, but when it happens you can't help but at least smile a little. Vera chuckles a little at her own comparison. It really fits this particular situation.

After leaving his previous table, Damien came over to sit with Vera, Liam, and Polly and sulk. They had been arguing about the production of manticore steak, but Damien's sudden arrival distracted them.

After a ton of questioning, Damien begrudgingly explains how him, Dahlia, and Slayer got into an argument about who got to sit at the table. With Brian the one to sit down before both parties, he suggested a democratic vote where he was the neutral party. Not really thinking before answering, Damien agreed to the obvious trick. Predictably, they kicked him from the table (After he lit a chair on fire) and he had to find somewhere else to sit.

It was obvious that Damien only sat at this table because it was the closest. Why does Vera think this? Because it's pretty telling with how Damien keeps glancing at the table Oz is sitting at almost longingly, that Damien would rather be sitting with his boy toy. 

Of course, Vera already noticed Oz the moment he sat down. Don't get her wrong, she has literally no interest in him, but Vera does have a huge interest in anybody who's talking to her sister.

Valerie once told her that whenever Vera does anything relatively dangerous she has a weird sixth sense moment. Vera said it was stupid at the time, but she can't really say she doesn't feel it on the rare occasion to. One of these moments hit her when Oz sat down at her table and started chatting. Vera really thought he might be flirting until Valerie gestured for Oz to sit. With not knowing the shadow monster much, Vera kept an eye on the two through the corner of her eye.

She stopped watching however, when Valerie whipped out her stock and started showing off. As long as the merchandise is out, she doesn't need to worry that Valerie is uncomfortable. Plus, Valerie seemed to be having one hell of a conversation, if the hand gestures were anything to go by. It made Vera just a tiny bit happy that her sister was having a good day.

Damien was a different story entirely. Almost every five seconds he's looking over his shoulder to glare at the two. Vera's never seen a demon jealous, but if this is how they all act, she doesn't know how they haven't created a sitcom on it. Because holy crap, was Damien amusing.

Liam and Polly definitely obviously come to the same conclusion. Liam subtly starts videoing and Polly just watches with an amused smirk. This was totally going in the group chat within the hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Oz bought the totem of Z'gord and a Arcane Floppy Disc. The two objects that just so happen to bring another two students into the game. I wonder how this will play out. (;


	24. The Baking Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oz goes to the first meeting of the baking club and meets a certain lovey dovey couple along with starting a brawl that goes down in Spooky High history.

Oz is anxious. Not that it's a surprise knowing him, but still. As he stands outside of the school's kitchen for his first club meeting millions of scenarios play out in Oz's head. He's already met the Coven, but what if he makes a bad impression on the other students in the club? What if-

Xenophobia forms on Oz's shoulder and slaps him, hard. Oz startles in shock before glaring at the phobia. It just shrugs in response.

"Why did you do that?" Oz asks annoyed.

The phobia just squeaks and points at Oz in an almost scolding manner.

"Well, I'm sorry if I'm worried about making a bad first impression!"

Xenophobia levels Oz with an unamused stare. Then squeaks once in a very nonchalant way.

"What's the worst that could happen?! We go to a school full of magical monsters where murder and destruction are part of a culture! There's so many ways this could go wrong! Like, what if-"

Another slap from Xenophobia.

"Okay, I know that you think the slapping thing helps because it worked before, but I am honestly getting upset now. Could you stop?"

Xenophobia just continues to look at Oz as if to say, "Are you gonna stop worrying if I do?"

This has become a common occurence lately. For some reason, all of Oz's phobias have started getting major atitudes. They aren't rude, just little sassy jerks. Oz doesn't mind them on a good day, but sometimes he wishes they were alive so he could actually strangle them. Still, their sass comes from a good place, so Oz takes Xenophobia's advice and attempts to push his nervous thoughts away. 

This is fine. This is going to be great. Oz places his hand on the doorknob and walks into the room while chanting this to himself like a mantra.

The first thing that hits Oz is the smell of… something. It's as if his nose doesn't know if the smell is good or bad. There's no way to describe the weird scent.

The attack on Oz's nostrils leave him dumbfounded for a minute before he recovers and looks around the room. Nobody seems to be paying attention to him. They're all just using the equipment as if this isn't their first meeting of the year, and nobody knows what they're doing.

Again, Oz is caught off guard. What does he do now? He expected the first meeting to go as an introduction of sorts. He did not expect to get thrown into the deep end right off the bat. 

The only person Oz even knows is the Coven and they look very busy with a cauldron of bubbling something. The only other student that seems to even relatively know what they're doing is the same Yeti Oz spotted on the first day, and he's on his phone, probably looking up how to cook something. Yeah, Oz will say it again. The only person who looks to know what they're doing is the person who doesn't even have a plan recipe yet. 

Deciding to get a little more information on what's going on, Oz walks up to the Coven to ask questions. Upon approaching the three girls, Oz figures out what the strange smell from earlier was. Whatever the three were concocting must have had the strangest smell known to the universe. That's saying a lot coming from a being that's been alive since the birth of said universe.

Forgetting whatever questions he was going to ask Oz glares at the bubbling green liquid in the girls' cauldron, "What _is_ that?"

"Hmm?" Hope, Faith, and Joy all jerk their heads towards Oz as if they just realized he was there.

"It's a potion mixture," Hope says monotone.

"Why do you ask?" Faith tilts her head curiously.

"You saw us doing this last week too," Joy adds.

Oz's anxiety is overridden by curiosity, "Yeah, but last week it didn't smell like…"

"Oh!" The Coven's faces light up in realization.

"It's a potion of seeing" Joy states.

"We're going to use it to seek out our enemy's weakness," Faith explains.

"But the potione requires wet werewolf hair..." Hope gags.

"...unicorn tears..." Joy frowns.

"...petrified dragon dung..." Faith looks away from Oz as she stirs the green liquid. 

"...and pixie dust," the Coven concludes.

"All of those have very contradicting smells, so the scent must be alarming for those not used to it," Joy turns to Oz and frowns, "We didn't really think about that."

All three girls quiet down at Joy's statement and start murmuring to each other with different levels of concern and thoughtfulness. As great as Oz's hearing is, he can't distinguish the conversation the three are having while they practically talk over each other. Oz glances around the kitchen and remembers the reason he came over here in the first place.

"Well, um… thanks for answering my question, but I also wanted to know what we're supposed to do. Do we just… try cooking or…?" Oz's question pulls the three girls from their personal bubble of conversation. 

They all share a glance before Hope talks, "You did pick up your keys from the office today like the poster asked right?" 

When Oz nods, Faith shrugs, "Then I guess you can just do whatever you want."

"Yes, the club _is_ student run, so if we want to do whatever we want. We can," Joy smiles mischievously, "I don't think the school thought about it much."

Once the Coven sees Oz doesn't have any more questions, they focus back on their potion-making in silence. Oz can't help but wonder if potion making is considered a type of baking, but dismisses the query. It's not like anybody's going to kick the girls out for it.

Oz watches the girls for a few moments more before shuffling in place awkwardly. Does he just start making something then? It seems so anticlimactic to all the different ways Oz planned the first meeting to go. After a bit of deliberation, Oz resolves to just go with the flow and try out one of the recipes Amira's been pestering him with. Still unsure of himself, Oz walks over to the nearest empty counter and pulls up the recipe on his phone. The entire time he's glancing over his shoulder to see if the other students are doing the same thing.

Amira wasn't a complete sadist so the first thing she wanted Oz to make wasn't some super complicated wedding cake, but instead something simple and basic. Oz couldn't mess up brownies, right? He sure to god hopes not.

First things first, Oz walks up to the nearest stove and starts pre-heating it. Luckily for Oz, the controls on it are very similar to the stove he owns in his own kitchen, so he's able to easily use it. As an afterthought, Oz hopes he didn't use a stove somebody else had their eyes on. 

Oz looks around to see, but finds the only other person using an oven is a familiar yeti directly next to Oz. Everyone else other than them and the Coven are just throwing ingredients into a bowl all willy nilly with no sign of a recipe in sight. At that moment the yeti turns and makes eye contact with Oz. Which sends the eldritch being into an awkward panic at the prospect of being caught staring.

Quickly looking away, Oz rushes into the pantry and out of the open, much to the yeti's confusion. Not only was this a ploy for Oz to get away from a weird social interaction, but it also gave him the chance to grab everything he needed to put in the brownie batter other than the eggs. However, it took Oz twice as long as normal to gather the things he needed, because he was constantly avoiding getting in other people's way A.K.A he would stop looking for what he needed the moment someone else entered.

Once he gets what he needs Oz steps back out into the normal kitchen and grabs eggs from the huge fridge. He goes to return to his space of empty counters only to find the same yeti directly next to his spot. Oz deliberates on moving his stuff somewhere else for his own sanity, but the yeti might find it rude. Guess what Oz decides to do? Yep, he sacrifices his comfort to keep up on the road to social acceptance. Hesitantly, Oz places the eggs down on his part of the counter along with the other ingredients in his arms. 

"Can I use some of your eggs?" Oz jerks his head up when the Yeti next to him speaks. At Oz's reaction the Yeti obviously tries to backtrack, "You don't have to of course! I just need two, and since you brought a pack over here I thought you wouldn't mind and-"

"N-no! You can use some! I just wasn't expecting you to ask!" Oz waves both his hands in front of his chest. When Oz speaks the Yeti freezes up and stares forward in shock, "Oh, I forgot to warn you about how I speak. I am so, so, so sorry. I didn't mean to intrude on your-"

"Ah, no! I'm just not used to a second voice in my head. You just surprised me. Guess we're even now," The Yeti chuckles awkwardly.

Oz does a double take, "...second voice?"

"Tate's talking about me!" A high pitched feminine voice calls out from somewhere.

Oz searches for the origin of the voice and that's when he realizes what he thought was just a pink mushroom was a tiny face. Welp, time to go to the hospital and see what drugs Polly somehow snuck into Oz's system.

"Yeah, that's my girlfriend," The Yeti chuckles again, but this time it's more genuine, "She's a fungal parasite so she usually communicates with me inside my mind. That's why you surprised me so much." 

"So both of you could hear me when I talked?" Oz can't help asking.

"Oh, yeah! It surprised me too when you talked! I thought there was some other fungus trying to steal my Tate!" The tiny pink mushroom says frowning.

"Yeah, we could both hear you loud and clear," The Yeti smiles, "We should probably introduce ourselves. As you heard from my girlfriend, my name's Tate."

"And I'm Violet! As long as you're nice to Tate, I'll like you. Well, as long as you aren't _too_ nice," Violet eyes Oz.

"O-oh, my name's Oz. It's nice to meet the two of you," Oz tries to think of some type of way to compliment the two monsters, "Y-you two look like a cute couple."

Violet flashes an ear to ear smile and even though Oz can't see Tate's mouth he can somehow tell he's doing the same.

"Thanks! Tate's the absolute best. Anybody would be cute with him!" Violet blushes, "I'm just lucky it's me."

"You're lucky?! I have a girlfriend that supports me no matter what and that's literally always there for me!" Tate almost sounds offended, "If anything I'm the lucky one."

"Oh Tate," Violet chuckles smiling, "You're so sweet." 

"No you are!" Tate protests.

"No you are!"

"Noooo! You are!"

"No you are!"

The couple goes back and forth while chuckling happily. While this happens Oz slowly turns back to the eggs and sets two of them on Tate's table. Oz would hate to interrupt the two, but he only has so long until the football practice ends and Oz has to take Vicky and Brian home. He lets them continue their little back and forth while he uses measuring cups to get the proper amount of flour, sugar, and other things into the bowl.

It's once Oz has measured all the things he needs that the two lovebirds finally snap out of their conversation of sweet nothings.

"Oh my, how long did we get distracted?" Violet chuckles.

"You could have told us to stop when we kept going," Tate says to Oz.

"I didn't want to. You were both acting so happy."

"~Aww! Tate! I like this one. Can we keep him?" Violet smiles again.

Tate laughs, "No, we cannot _keep_ him Violet."

"You know I was joking," Violet glances at Oz then looks thoughtful.

Tate suddenly stiffens up then starts laughing again to Oz's confusion.

"We are not setting him up with your little sister Vi! We don't even know if he's already in a relationship."

"Hey! You weren't supposed to say that out loud!" Violet blushes, well, violet.

"I am single," Oz replies and Violet gets a look that he thought only Vicky could pull off. Oz backtracks, "B-but I've already got enough going on in the mind department for another voice."

For what feels like the first time in ages, Oz willingly calls his phobias to form on his shoulders. Of course just to be little shits, they immediately go berserk by squeaking and gesturing wildly. One bows, another forms a cowboy hat and tips it, and a few others just buck around wildly to get somebody's attention.

"Whelp, that's enough out of you guys," Oz pushes them away and the phobias pout and stick their tongues out.

"It's like he's got a bunch of black pleurotus ostreatus growing out of him!" Violet squeals.

Oz is taken back, "I'm sorry what?"

"Black Oyster Mushrooms," Tate explains, "Violet always refers to different mushrooms by their scientific name. For some reason…"

"Hmph, it's only to be respectful to the fungi!" Violet huffs.

Tate chuckles, "I know, I know. Hey Vi, how about we get back to baking and stop pestering Oz about his love life?"

Violet giggles, "Fiiiiine."

Tate turns away from Oz, to his relief, and starts his batter. He must have already measured all his ingredients while Oz was avoiding people in the pantry. For the first few minutes Oz keeps glancing at the couple from the corner of his eyes, but soon enough Oz sinks into the concentration he usually has when cooking.

Not one of them notices that the other club member started watching them when Oz starts using his phobias. Oz whisks the batter while Pemmaphobia and Ailurphobia crack the eggs and add the measured amount of other substances. Even the coven stops mixing their potion to watch as Oz and Tate work around each other like professionals. Some monsters pull out paper and start taking notes, others video them for later reference (only to realize Oz can't be caught on camera), and a few brave souls attempt to copy their techniques in real time.

In five minutes both the different batters are done and, almost in sync, both Tate and Oz pour their mix into different containers. The small crowd of students immediately steps out of the monster's way as they walk across the kitchen towards a stove. They both put their creations in separate ovens then set the bake times. When they stand back up, Tate puts a hand in the air and offers a high five to Oz. After a moment of hesitance, Oz returns the gesture. Some of the other students clap and others cheer for the two. It's then that Oz and Tate finally notice the small crowd that gathered to watch them bake.

"I was wondering when you two would notice," Violet deadpans from Tate's head.

"You did that so fast!"

"Did you already have a recipe!?"

"How were you able to crack the eggs without getting shells in the batter!?"

"You were like kitchen ninjas!"

As the small crowd of students close in on Tate and Oz, Violet says what the two boys are thinking, "Calm down! They were only baking! Jeez…"

Before Violet can say something else Oz starts trying to answer the other club members questions with as little stuttering as possible. Tate and Violet end up doing the same thing, and soon enough all three are instructing students how to bake correctly. Most of the baking club's ovens are full of goods by the time Oz and Tate's stoves beep, signaling their food is done. All the students gather around again when Oz takes out his brownies and Tate takes out a tray of berry muffins. 

Oz is barely able to get to a table before people start scarfing down the still molten hot baked goods. Oz is able to save three for his friends by putting them in the void before most of them are gone. Oz turns to Tate to see a very similar situation happening to him. He has three muffins held straight up in the air away from all the grabby hands. When the other monsters realize there's no way to get the muffins from the extra tall yeti they give up and rush over to Oz's crowd.

Slowly, without gaining the attention of all the members, Oz makes his way over to Tate, "They really like sweets."

Tate nods despondently as all three monsters watch a fight break out over the last remaining muffin and brownie. After a moment Tate moves some of his fur out of the way and takes a bike out of his muffin. He then holds said muffin up to Violet and she takes a bite.

"Dwid you knwat git any wof ur brownies," Violet tries to speak while chewing her muffin.

"Violet, it's rude to talk with your mouth full. Plus, no one can understand you," Tate lovingly scolds his girlfriend.

Violet pouts, but swallows her muffin anyways. Oz only has a moment to ponder how their combined digestive system must work before Violet speaks, "I asked if Oz was able to keep any of his brownies, or if they all got eaten?"

"Hmm, I gave them to my phobias for safe keeping," Oz turns and looks at Violet.

"Your phobias?" Violet tilts her head curiously.

Oh right, Oz never really explained what they were. He tries to think of what Violet called them earlier, "I believe Tate said you called them black oyster mushrooms."

"OH! That makes sense!" Violet smiles then shifts her gaze to Tate, "Give our new friend the other two muffins you snagged!"

"What?!" Oz turns and waves his hands, "I'm sure they're delicious, but you had to practically fight to keep them. Plus, only my phobias can eat!"

"No, you should take my extra two. I'm not gonna be able to eat them and I doubt I'll be able to smuggle them out of the club without somebody attempting to stab me with a steak knife," At this point Tate gestures to the full out brawl going on as somebody tries to bite the brownie only to bite another students hand, "I insist on you taking them. Even if you can't eat them, you can get out of her with them."

"Well, then you at least have to try a brownie," Pemmophobia pops out of Oz's shoulder and offers Tate a brownie. Brian would be fine without a brownie as long as Oz gave him extra next time.

"Actually," Tate shuffles awkwardly, "I can't have chocolate."

"He's like a dog! He can't have it or he'll get sick!" Violet chuckles, "It's super cute because he avoids it all the time, but when people ask he gets all embarrassed. It's just the cuuuutest thing!"

"Oh…" Just like that, Pemmophobia disappears back into the void.

"Just take them please," Tate offers Oz his extra two muffins again while his cheeks turn a tiny bit red.

"...okay. I-If you insist," Oz takes both the muffins and recalls out some of his phobias, "Thanks."

One phobia grabs the fist muffin and takes it to the void for later, while the others split the second muffin amongst themselves. At least forty phobia appear all over Oz's body as they nibble on the confection.

"The pleurotus ostreatus love them!" Violet squeals.

"He called them phobias Vi," Tate tries to dissuade his girlfriend's behavior.

"I don't think they mind it, do they?" Violet turns to Oz, but instead of him replying, all the phobias stop what they're doing, look at Violet, and shake their heads that they don't mind, "See Tate! They don't care!"

Oz sighs, "They're pretty much fine with anything as long as you don't insult them or me. Actually-"

All at once, at least five different ovens go off. Different students rush to the separate stoves and another fight breaks out over the newer sweets. One guy knocks someone over the head with a metal tray.

"Oh, oh no," Tate slowly starts backing away towards the exit.

"Tate, I love you," Violet starts, "And it's because I love you that I suggest we leave, immediately.

"We left after the brownies were out alright?" Oz does the same thing as Tate, "We weren't here for the fight. That's our story."

"Yep," At that, both monsters sprint out of the room as war screams ring out behind them. The Coven follows shortly behind while talking about losing their batch of potions to the mob.

For the rest of Spooky High history, that day is known by many names, the Muffin Massacre, the Brownie Battle of room 305, and the Kitchen Killings are some. Nobody who left that room was the same person again. However, Oz, Tate, Violet will never know that. For they left before the real blood was shed.

Oz and Tate split up once they make it out of the school and head separate ways. With only a few minutes to spare, Oz makes it to the football practice just before they finish for the day. Vicky and Amira are the only two people in the stands. True to her previous words, Vicky has two signs now. One extra sparkly for Scott and another normal sparkly one for Brian.

The moment Amira spots Oz she sprints as fast as possible to him and grabs his shoulders, "FOOD?!"

"Calm down Amira. I saved a brownie for you," Not soon after Oz says this does he pull a brownie out of the void.

Without wasting a moment's time, Amira snatches the sweet from Oz and stuffs the whole thing in her mouth at once, "~Wow, it's swo guuuuuud Oz!"

Behind Amira, the coach lets out a dismissal whistle and Brian starts jogging off the field. To Oz's surprise, instead of rushing to him, Vicky runs up to Scott and hands him a water bottle. Scott happily accepts it and his tail starts wagging a mile a minute.

"You have a good time at your first meeting?" Brian asks when he reaches Oz.

"HE MADE BROWNIES BRIAN! BROWNIES!" Amira shouts giddy.

"I had a great time, I met a Yeti with a parasite, became a teacher, and incited a mass brawl," Oz summarizes his first meeting, "How was practice?"

"Mundane," Brian shrugs, "Nothing special."

"Cool," Oz pulls another brownie out of the void and offers it to Brian.

He takes the sweet and unlike Amira takes a tiny bite before closing his eyes and sighing, "Why are you the literal best baker in the universe when you can't even eat?"

Amira watches the whole exchange while drooling.

"Hey Oz!" Vicky finally rushes up to her friends, "Did you have a good-"

Amira interrupts Vicky, "He met a Yeti, teached, and started a fight. NOW TRY HIS BROWNIES!"

Vicky stares at Amira in shock before Oz places a brownie in said shocked girl's hand. Vicky looks down at the chocolate treat before pulling an Amira and stuffing the entire thing in her mouth. 

"OHMYGOSH! It's swo guuud!" Vicky starts bouncing up and down.

"That's what I said!" Amira and Vicky both start bouncing up and down.

Once the two girls calm down Vicky looks at Oz wistfully, "I wish I could give one to Scott, but he can't have chocolate."

"Because he'll get sick?" Oz questions.

"How did you know!?" Vicky shouts.

"It's not the first time someone's told me that today," Oz thinks back to Tate and has an idea, "Actually, the friend I made in the club made muffins. Scott could probably have one."

"Muffins? Do you think he'll like it?" Vicky is already excited again.

"You won't know unless you give him one, right?" Oz pulls Tate's last muffin out and hands it to Vicky. She takes it from Oz, smiles ear to ear, then rushes away.

"Thanks Oz!" Vicky shouts over her shoulder as she runs to Scott.

Once Vicky's out of hearing range, Amira smiles, "You're quite the matchmaker Oz. If you're around Vicky's sure to score a date."

Oz looks at Amira shocked, "Vicky wants to date Scott?"

Amira stares at Oz for a moment before her and Brian share a look and start walking away.

"Hey! You can't just leave me hanging like that! Now I need to know!" Oz rushes after his friends while they discuss his obliviousness.

\------------------------Extra-------------------------

Oz has been dreading this since the moment he knew what he'd have to do. He can't put it off any longer.

Ever since he bought the Z'Gord's totem of power from Valerie yesterday, Oz could feel Z'Gord's angry and vengeful feelings permeate the void. Oz already has enough random feelings running rampid in his head in the real world. He doesn't need some genocidal abomination doing it in his only safe haven too.

The worst part is that her feelings only get stronger and stronger as the minutes tick by. Honestly, Oz can understand Z'Gord's fear. She went from a catgirl's backpack to the endless shadow void in less than five minutes. That must have really settled in a feeling of hopelessness for her escape. Well, Oz assumes that's why she's getting more upset. He doesn't really know if she can actually see from inside of that thing.

Either way, all her pain has driven Oz to this. He's going to take the totem out of the void and keep her stored in the real world. Oz hopes that her feelings can't be transmitted as far in the mortal realm as they do in the void. Of course, it would be even better if it didn't emit emotions at all, but beggars can't be choosers. Plus, Oz knows his luck.

Oz stands in front of his couch and reaches into the void before slowly pulling the totem out. He waits a moment for the sudden wave of pain that was hitting him in the void. When nothing comes, Oz sighs in relief. He's about to set it on his coffee table for a moment to bask in his victory when a sudden voice comes from nowhere.

_"_ **_LET ME OUT!_ ** _"_

It sounds like a rather school girlish high pitched voice, but despite its non-threatening sound, it holds demanding power. Oz drops the totem and looks around urgently for the person who spoke. Did someone sneak into his house? The TV isn't on so that couldn't be it. Who spoke? The only possibility is… no. It couldn't be. Oz glances down at the totem. 

Slowly, Oz crouches down and reaches out to touch Z'Gord's Totem of Power. About an inch away a feeling of excitement and anticipation intrude on Oz's mind. That means the totem still transmits emotions because of course it does. Oz wonders why there wasn't anything when he first pulled Z'Gord out of the void, but chalks it up to her surprise.

Oz would rather not touch the totem any further, but he can't just leave it on the floor. That would only be irresponsible. With a bit of deliberation, Oz moves the rest of the way and touches the totem.

_"_ **_YOU CAN HEAR ME! LET ME OUT! YOU CAN HEAR ME! LET ME OUT! YOU CAN HEAR ME! LET ME OUT! YOU CAN HEAR ME! LET ME OUT! YOU CAN HEAR ME! LET ME OUT! YOU CAN HEAR ME! LET ME OUT!"_ **

The shock of having Z'Gords power enter his mind triggers one of Oz's most instinctual defenses. Oz's jaw unhinges and a growl along with a unholy quelching roar erupt from his maw. Multiple phobias form to their true size and crowd the house as they hiss at the totem of Z'Gord, begging to utterly destroy it for threatening Oz. If any mortal had been in his presence, they would have felt indrescrible terror and fell to their knees to give up hope and die. However, the only being present was Z'Gord, who despite her own power was on edge at the show of power.

It took Oz a moment, but he was able to calm himself down and return to normal along with his phobias. He immediately starts to dissociate as he stares at the totem on the floor. He starts counting his phobias in an attempt to calm down, he didn't reach a panic attack yet, but he's just treading a fine line. It's almost definite he'll at least have one before the week ends if his anxiety doesn't let up.

It takes at least an hour for Oz to work up the courage to try talking to Z'Gord again. This time, Oz is much more prepared for her intrusive thoughts. However, no screams to be released are heard.

" _Y-You're like me? How? Why are you in such a weak form? You can hear me right? Nobody else could hear me! But you can! Please let me out! I want out! I need out! D-Don't leave me! Please!"_

The sudden change from powerful to soft spoken leaves Oz confused at first, but as Z'Gord talks, her desperation and pleading leave Oz feeling guilty. Which she somehow notices.

_"Is that you? These feelings? Why are you guilty?! Are you going to leave me?!_ **_NO! STAY! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! LET! ME! OUT!_ ** _"_

Already expecting the mental attack, this time Oz pushes back and forces Z'Gord out of his mind. Oz can still feel her emotions, but her words are completely blocked out. Giving Z'Gord a moment to calm down, Oz touches the totem again. This time, Oz makes the first move.

"Z'Gord? Can you hear me?" Oz tries to sound as non-threatening as possible. 

Z'Gord is like a stray cat backed into a corner. One wrong move and you can get scratched, but it's possible to calm her down if Oz pulls the right moves.

Almost the moment Oz speaks, Z'gord instantly goes to shock then pure joy.

_"You can talk to me! You can talk to me! How can you talk to me?! This is great! This is wonderful! Can you let me out?! Please let me out! I want-"_ Z'Gord's questions are spitfire fast and don't stop.

"P-please slow down so I can hear you," Oz knew how to talk with a maniacal being that wants to destroy the universe, but a lonely girl that's trapped in a totem is something Oz was not prepared for.

_"Oh, my apologies. My name is Z'Gord_ , _ruler of the- er, former ruler of the dark realm! The one who feeds on insanity and strikes fear into the hearts of humans and monsters alike! The monster destined to destroy this world and tear reality asunder!"_

...and there goes Oz's hopes of Z'gord just being a friendly monster who accidentally got blamed for genocide. Oz doesn't know how someone could accidentally commit mass murder, but one could hope.

"I… already know who you are," Oz admits, "I was around when you ruled the dark realm. I kinda got to see you destroy the twelfth plane of reality a couple of eons ago when you first came in creation."

Z'Gord goes completely quiet for a moment, _"...who are you?"_

"My name is Oz," Z'Gord stays silent and Oz realizes she's waiting for more information like in her introduction. Oz channels his inner nerd and tries to come up with a bunch of semi-realistic titles that sound legit, "Um…I am the ancient eldritch being born with time itself. The one who controls fear in every universe and plane of reality. The unknown killer of the demon realm. The shadow of infinite dark soldiers."

Oz waits a moment for Z'Gord's response. The first thing Oz notices is the insane amount of amusement. Then, it's followed by a laugh.

_"We just established I can feel your emotions. I can tell you just came up with every single one of those with how nervous you are. Do you not have any proper names?"_

Oz picks the totem up and sits on his couch, still holding it. (Tightly this time) He chuckles a little with Z'Gord.

"I actually never got any names. Even the one I told you I created myself," When Z'Gord's sends curiosity Oz's way, he tries to elaborate, "Fear has existed since the beginning of everything. I'm the embodiment of fear itself, so I was born with the universe. I've existed for millions of billions of years. Although, I'm embarrassed to say I spent all that time doing nothing of importance. I only recently, in the last couple of centuries, created this form and name."

_"Why?"_ Z'Gord asks, " _Why would you create a form so weak when you could be worshipped like a god?"_

"I...didn't want to be feared," Oz admits in a weak voice. He would usually never talk about this with someone he just met, but Zoe is the exception for… obvious reasons, "I lived millions of years with no one, so when I met people… I-I just wanted to be normal. I saw people smiling and laughing and it just made me… want to be a part of that."

Z'Gord stays absolutely silent.

"Sorry. You probably don't understand that. You had worshippers and priests to talk to and give you names. That's probably why we're both so different," Oz sighs then glances down at the totem in his hands. He hates that he has to keep Z'Gord trapped in this totem when she's so lonely, but… "Z'Gord."

_"Yes?"_ Z'Gord sound withdrawn, if not a little pained. She doesn't have to guess what he's about to say.

"I-I'm sorry, but I can't let you out of the totem. I just got a normal everyday life. I can't just let you destroy it all. I understand how lonely and scary it must be in there, and I'm sorry for being so selfish. I-I just can't lose this. Not yet, not when I've just got it."

Oz expected a lot of things from Z'Gord. Anger, sorrow, fear, or bloodlust are some examples, but what he didn't expect from her was understanding. Oz puzzles over the peculiar emotion so intensely that he almost didn't hear Z'Gord.

_"C-Can you tell me what a cat is?"_ Z'Gord asks nervously.

"What?" Oz asks the totem, stunned. Where did that come from?

"I understand why you won't let me out. I can't accept it yet, but I can feel what you feel. I can't take all those warm fuzzy feelings from you, but maybe I can still be satisfied? Maybe I can feel the feelings you feel if you show them to me and tell me about the things associated with them," Z'Gord explains, almost bashfully, "Earlier you thought of a 'cat.' I've never seen one. I-I think that can be a great start."

The mood stays somber, but lightens up as Oz tells Z'Gord, the former ruler of the dark realm, about kittens and the small things that make high school and normal life so great. They talk deep into the night until both are satisfied. Well, satisfied for the moment.


	25. Theatrical Fails

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The auditorium finally gets the students costumes in and Oz and friends are trying them on for the first time.

"Vicky, how do you put on a fake mustache?" Oz stares down at the brown fuzz that should be attached to his face and projects his telepathy at a range.

"Your costume came with a mustache?!" Vicky laughs from the next changing stall over.

"Yeah? How do I put it on?" Oz ignores her giggles and examines the fake hair. It was a dark brown and had a white paper back.

"Stop giggling like a maniac Vick," Amira calls from the changing room opposite of both of them, "Oz, is there white paper on the back?"

"Yeah."

"Try peeling it off, it should be like a sticker," Amira calls back.

Oz starts fumbling with getting the paper off the fake hair, but soon enough it peels away to reveal a sticky substance on the back. 

"Thanks!"

Oz looks into the full length mirror and places the mustache above his upper lip. Immediately, Oz is assaulted by the itchiness of the facial hair. Oz tries to ignore it as Coulrophobia adjusts the large feather on his yellow musketeer hat and Oz pulls on the slightly oversized brown gloves that came with the get-up.

The school finally got all the students costumes for the outdoor auditorium and most students were trying theirs on at the moment with this being the first theater class. Oz's outfit is that of a musketeer. The principal or whoever ordered the clothes must have caught on to Oz's color scheme because the whole outfit is mostly black and yellow. Not that it's that hard to figure out what Oz likes considering he practically wears the same thing everyday.

As Oz said earlier, the outfit has a yellow hat, brown gloves, and a dark colored mustache, but that wasn't all. The outfit also came with a long fancy yellow cape, brown boots, a loose black and white tunic, baggy pants, all tied together with a small brown belt. They even gave Oz a prop. A real, actually usable, rapier.

Oz tries to keep his mouth from twitching because of the irritating mustache as he turns his attention to the blade and picks it up. It was a legitimate weapon, a well made one too. Oz steps back and tries to copy a move he witnessed a couple hundred years ago, but just ends up knocking a stack of boxes over.

"Crap!" Oz sets the rapier down and crouches to start picking the boxes back up. 

About five seconds after leaning over, Oz's mustache falls off his face and onto the ground. Well, so much for the sticky part, it did absolutely nothing to keep the hair on Oz's face. Once the boxes are placed back where they're supposed to be, Oz picks the cheap sticky mustache off the floor. 

"This thing is so tacky," Oz talks to himself as he attempts to put the mustache back on his face. It still refuses to stick.

Oz searches through the box his costume came in to see if there's another, but is disappointed to find nothing. Did the teachers just expect Oz to wear the same sticky mustache every class? Oz considers taping the mustache back on his face, but he knows it'll look worse than if he didn't have it at all.

It's at this point that Oz makes an important observation. While the fake hair is brown, it's such a dark shade that it almost looks black. Oz has an idea based on this.

Looking into the mirror, Oz takes out his phone and googles pictures of real handlebar mustaches. Once he has a reference, Oz focuses on making his dark matter body bend to his will. Two tiny dark tentacles form under Oz's nose and slowly become thicker before curling at the end. 

The whole process takes three minutes of intense focus. While Oz can shift into original for in one eighth the time, changing his other features is much more difficult without practice. Entirely possible, but still time consuming for bigger changes. Luckily, a mustache is pretty simple.

Oz takes a look at himself in the mirror before comparing it to his phone. Oz's is a little bigger and more cartoony than the original, but he kinda likes it this way. As a last test Oz picks up the rapier again with one hand and twiddles his new facial hair with the other. 

"En guarde!" Oz thrusts his rapier outward while projecting to now one, it would be embarrassing if Amira or Vicky saw him do this.

Satisfied with his look, Oz exits the dressing stall to see his friends outfits. Brian is already waiting for Oz as the two girls are still dressing. Oz kinda wants to chuckle when he sees Brian's costume. However, he does manage to refrain.

"So… you got a dragon costume?" Oz tries to say this nonchalantly, but his amusement shines through.

"I specifically asked for the costume that could be put on and taken off the fastest. I didn't ask for anything specific like you guys," Brian ignores Oz's tone and shrugs with a sigh.

The dragon costume did seem like a fast option. Unlike most other animal themed theater costumes this one had a zipper on the front, meaning Brian wouldn't need help putting it on. The downside of the suit is that there's almost no way it was brand new. The eyes were lopsided from use and there's a large patch on one of the wings from where somebody tore it. Speaking of the wings, them and the tail were unusually small for a dragon. (Oz knows, he's met one before) Actually… Oz takes a mental step back and realizes that Brian is pretty much wearing a pajama onesie.

Brian sends Oz a glare as if saying, "I know what it is, I know you know what it is, and we are not discussing it."

Again, Oz has to hold back a snort, "It umm- looks cool."

"Don't patronize me," Brian deadpans then looks Oz up and down, "A musketeer?"

Oz stares at Brian confusedly before realizing he's talking about his costume, "Oh yeah. The hat's a little floppy and the gloves are kinda loose, but other than that it's really well designed."

Brian eyes Oz's sword and raises an eyebrow, "They gave you a real weapon?"

"Yeah," Oz gestures the rapier around wildly, "They gave me an  _ actual  _ rapier."

"Why that though? Aren't musketeers famous for- I don't know, muskets?" 

"I guess the school draws the line at firearms," Oz shrugs.

"That's not true. Vera's already brought-"

At that moment the door to the dressing room Amira was using bursts open. Amira steps out of said room with an already flaming, hopefully fake, skull and an evil laugh.

"MWAH HAH HA! I am the evil enchantress Amira Rashid! Bow before me or feel my wraith!" Amira dramatically declares in character.

Brian sends Amira a thumbs up and Oz starts slow clapping at Amira's dramatics.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Amira bows and somehow extinguishes her skull instantly, "I'm honored you liked my show!"

"Did Amira just do an evil introduction!" Vicky shouts from another stall, "Noooo! I missed it!"

"Sorry Vick, but show business waits for no one!" Amira chuckles.

"But I really wanted to see you do a cool villain entrance!" Vicky cries from within her dressing room. Her head pops out momentarily and she gives Amira puppy eyes, "Can you please do another one later?"

Amira tries to resist, but Vicky's too powerful, "Fiiiine, but if I'm doing another it's going to be much cooler than this. That means you'll have to wait till the end of class."

Vicky's already back in her dressing room, but Oz can practically see her pout despite there being a wall in between them. She doesn't deny the conditions though, so that means she agrees. To ignore Vicky, Oz examines Amira's costumes.

To go with her fiery hair and spirit, Amira got a red and black dress. It was very reminiscent of a witch or sorceress. The most eye-catching pieces are the red collared jacket, skull like accessories, and the black wedges that came with it.

"You look great, Amira," Oz compliments the Djinn.

"Of course I do!" Amira smirks then takes a look at Oz and Brian, "You two look awesome too. Although, I honestly have no idea what you're dressed as Oz."

"I'm a musketeer," Oz states while waving his rapier.

"A what?" Amira tilts her head.

"A musketeer! There soldiers from back in the 1600s that carried muskets. Y'know long old looking guns?" Oz tries to explain.

"Well then, where's your gun?" Amira gestures with one hand while the other holds her prop skull.

"Well… they didn't give me a gun, but they did give me a rapier," Oz gestures towards his sword.

"A rapier? That's what that thin looking sword is?" Amira looks unimpressed, "It's cool I guess."

Oz deflates a little at Amira's lack of enthusiasm. Vicky takes that moment to make her big entrance as she bursts from her stall.

"GUYS! I'm a knight!" Vicky vibrates in place as she gestures wildly with a real, and very sharp sword.

"Woah, woah, woah. Calm down there Vick," Brian grabs the wrist of the hand holding Vicky's sword and stops it, "You haven't caused any property damage so far. How about we keep it that way."

"Oh, oops!" Vicky giggles, "I got wrapped up in the moment and forgot I had a sword!"

"You forgot you had a sword," Amira deadpans.

"Yep!" Vicky smiles and continues vibrating excitedly.

Getting a good look at Vicky's outfit, Oz can understand why she was the last of the four to get dressed. She was wearing a suit of armor with at the least a dozen different parts. All the armor is iron except for a few blue accents like the cuffs on the wrists and the banner like cloth going over her torso. Said banner has a tiny horse and shield on it. The most impressive piece is the helmet however. Unlike a conventional knight's helmet this one not only had hole in the back allowing Vicky's pony tail to flow freely, but the metal also has some type of adhesive keeping the face guard from falling in her front of Vicky's eyes.

"~Ohhh! You guys look awesome!" Vicky bounces between her friends with bubbly energy, "Brian's a dragon! So cool!"

Brian chuckles and smiles at Vicky in response, "Thanks Vick."

Without pausing, Vicky jumps in front of Amira and pokes her prop skull, "Are you some type of evil witch? Why do you have a skull?"

"I'm not an  _ evil  _ witch. I'm an  _ evil _ enchantress! And the skull…" Amira throws her arms up in the air and the skull ignites with fire, "SETS ITSELF OF FIRE WITH MAGIC!"

As Vicky gawks at the skull Oz chuckles towards Brian, "That's where the funding for your outfit went."

"Yep," Brian nods.

"Oh, and Oz! You're a musketeer right? Look at your mustache," Vicky bounces over to Oz and flicks his facial hair, "Where's your musket, musketeer?"

"I didn't get one," Vicky pouts at Oz a little, "...but, it did come with a rapier."

Vicky's eyes light up as she sticks her sword up in the air, and wraps the other arm over Oz's shoulders while squealing, "We're Weapon Buddies!"

Oz chuckles, "I guess we are."

"WOOOO! Weapon Buddies!" Vicky shouts.

"VICKY?!" A new voice calls from the direction the other set of dressing rooms are. It only takes a few seconds for everyone to figure out who's coming their way.

"Scott?" Vicky calls back.

At her call, Scott rushes around the corner, "Vicky! Vicky! Vicky! Look at me! I'M A TREE!"

"You are! You look great Scott!" Vicky giggles as the werewolf rushes up to her while she still has an arm around Oz.

True to Scott's words, he's dressed up like a tree. His body is the trunk, his arms are decorated to be the branches, and his head pops out of the fake tree's canopy. Oh, and there's a hole for his tail. Which is a good thing because if it didn't, one would have been created by how much it wags.

"SCOTT! Where did you go! I still have to help you put the birds on!" Polly rushes around the corner apparently looking for Scott.

"Polly! Over here! I found Vicky!" Scott shouts out to the ghost whose head snaps in their direction.

Polly turns towards the group and floats forward with little cardboard cut-out birds, "We weren't looking for Vicky, Scott!"

"We weren't? But Vicky's nice. Why wouldn't we look for her?" Vicky blushes, Amira giggles, and Polly rolls her eyes in amusement.

"Because she wasn't lost. We knew she was here Scott, remember? Oz, Brian, Amira, and Vicky agreed to use the smaller changing room when class started," Polly tries to remind Scott.

"Oh yeah," Scott turns to Vicky, "So you weren't lost?"

"Heh, no," Vicky removes her arm from Oz and walks up to Scott.

"Then why did you howl?" Scott tilts his head in confusion.

"Howl? I didn't howl. I just screamed-" Vicky has an epiphany, "When I yelled you thought I was in trouble and came running!"

Scott nods furiously and smiles, "But you're alright! So I just overreacted."

"~Awww," Both Amira and Polly's eyes light up at the same time.

Oz uses his telepathy on Brian, "You guys weren't kidding when you said Vicky was crushing yesterday. They're practically inseparable at this point."

Without drawing attention to himself Brian nods subtly. 

"For real though Scott. You gotta stay still so I can put the birds on your costume," Polly floats forward with the cardboard birds, "Can you stay still?"

"Yeah! Stay still for Polly so we can head out on the stage together sooner!" Vicky thrusts her sword in the air and only misses hitting something because of Oz grabbing her arm.

"Swords are sharp Vicky. Be a tiny bit more careful," Oz lowers Vicky's arm down to her side, "Not everybody can deal with being decapitated like Brian."

Vicky shuffles in embarrassment and chuckles, "Oops, sorry."

Ignoring Vicky's shenanigans with a sword, Scott's tail goes berserk, "Yay! I get to go out on the stage with Vicky!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You two are adorable and all that, but you need to stop squirming Scott!" Polly tries to sound annoyed, but her sly wink and smirk in Vicky's direction gives her away.

"I-I uh," Vicky's face is red again before she rushes forward flustered, "Why don't you let me help Polly?! It'll get done faster!"

Polly covers her mouth to keep from giggling, "Sure, get over her and help."

As both the girls scuttled around Scott, Oz finally gets a good look at Polly's theater outfit.

Polly's costume is that of an alchemist. She has the signature mask pulled up on the side of her head and long brown gloves. The dress that comes with it covers all of her arms and chest. Which is quite the surprise knowing Polly's normal style. It was actually pretty tame. The only concerning thing about her outfit is the suspicious green bottle fastens to the belt on her waist.

It takes less than thirty seconds for both of the girls to finish placing the birds on Scott's tree costume. Once all six monsters are finished dressing they head out into the open to see everyone else. Polly phases through the walls, don't ask Oz how she kept her clothes, Scott and Vicky sprint out, Amira plans her entrance, and the last two monsters are the only ones to exit normally.

The first thing Oz sees when they exit is Vicky already on stage running around with her sword fighting invisible enemies as Scott cheers her on. The second is Polly talking with Vera, Miranda, Liam, and Damien in the stands. Brian and Oz walk up to the group without them noticing.

"So you found Scott I see," Vera states as she watches her friends act stupidly on the stage.

Vera's costume is completely green and black. She definitely went for an assassin esk look. The cloak design actually looks shockingly similar to Slayer's. The boots, gloves, and dress however are completely opposite to the Slayer in the sense that they have no actual uses other than cosmetical.

"Yeah! He went running to find Vicky when he thought she howled," Polly floats upside down and smirks.

"So it was like a dog trying to protect it's master," Miranda says thoughtfully.

Oz could describe Miranda's dress and outfit in great detail, but the only two words necessary are Princess Daisy. If Miranda didn't buy it then one of the designers for the costumes must like video game characters. There's no way that can be a coincidence.

"Hmm… kinky," Liam comments while looking at his phone.

Liam's costume was that of a prince or nobleman. A blue jacket with golden tassels on the shoulder, a white button up under shirt, and black pants. It was simple, but hit all the correct categories to be high brow. It actually fits the vampire surprisingly well. Brian seems to agree as he immediately locks on to Liam.

"That is not what I meant!" Miranda exclaims, agast, "It was simply a comparison! I was not insinuating-"

"I don't know Miranda," Polly flips in the air before landing next to the princess, "That sounded pretty suggestive to me."

"Will you guys shut the fuck up! It's bad enough I have to watch those two on the stage act like a couple, why would I want to hear to talk about them like they are!" A familiar red demon shouts and Oz shakes his head in amusement.

"Someone's just annoyed that he isn't getting enough attention from a certain someone lately," Vera smirks.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT DIPSHIT?!" Damien sits up straight and glares at Vera with a challenging gaze.

"It's true. You've been a little more grumpy than usual," Miranda says thoughtfully.

Despite standing there for the last few minutes, none of the monsters in the conversation have noticed Oz and Brian yet. 

"I have not," Damiem snarls, "You just need to get your fucking eyes checked!"

"Damien," Liam sighs while looking at his phone, "The only way you could make your crush more obvious is if you just pulled him into the locker room and- Gah!"

"HEY OZ," Polly's the one who notices their new company, and elbows Liam in the ribs hard to make him stop talking.

At that moment all the monsters switch their attention to Oz and Brian. The sudden reaction to their arrival makes Oz feel more than a little self conscious. 

"H-Hey," Oz gives a tiny awkward wave.

Polly catches to Oz's awkwardness and jumps in, "Oh sorry about that whole thing! We were just having an argument and I just wanted it to end."

"What were you arguing about?" Oz asks curiously.

Getting caught in her lie, Polly freezes, only for Vera to save her, "The likelihood of Damien burning down the stage on the first day."

"Really?" Oz cocks his head to the side.

Don't misunderstand, Oz knows that the group is changing the subject. He's been standing there for the last few seconds and they definitely weren't talking about that, but if they don't want to tell him and Brian something then it's none of his business.

"OH YEAH!" Polly says a bit too loudly, "We were arguing about that. Me and Miranda think he'll leave it alone, but Vera and Liam think it's gonna go down." 

"I never-" One glance at Polly makes Miranda backtrack as she finally gets the plan, "I-I never said that it wouldn't burn down! J-Just that it wouldn't burn down today."

"Nice save," Liam murmurs under his breath. 

Brian's closest to Liam, so when he's the only one that hears what the vampire said, he lets out a huff of amusement.

"Hmmm, yeah," Polly says, fake thoughtful looking, "I guess not burning the stage at  _ all  _ is a bit too much to ask of him. Right Damien? ...Damien?"

"..." 

Damien is sitting still with a barely visible blush staring at Oz in his costume. He can't help it. 

One of Oz's phobias is playfully batting at the feather in his hat and everytime Oz talks his nose crinkles because of the fake handlebar mustache beneath it. The gloves were obviously a little big with how Oz nervously tugs at them unconsciously to keep them on. The shy little wave he sent his way earlier even made his hat and cape sway just a little. 

Damien didn't even realize he had been staring until it was too late. And honestly, he would have continued if Polly hadn't decided to save him from his own mind.

"..."

"DAMIEN!" Polly shouts.

The loud noise finally breaks Damien from his gawking, he looks away from Oz quickly and gulps, "I'm sorry. What did you say Polly."

To say that the three monsters teasing him earlier did a double take would be an understatement. Damien went from 'I'm about to kill all of you and sell your souls for alcohol' to 'I don't want to cause trouble' in a snap. They had no idea how to respond. 

Brian takes one look at each shocked monsters' face and sighs. Looks like he's the one that's going to have to save Damien from his own embarrassment.

"Well, if you want my opinion. I think the chances of there not being a fire in the thirty minutes might as well be non-existent," Brian takes a seat next to Liam, even though it's not that comfortable to sit with the oversized dragon costume.

Brian's distraction is just enough to knock everyone out of their stupor as Polly takes the lead again along with slowly getting closer to Damien, "WELL, YOU'LL BE WRONG! There is no way, you'll be right about Damien setting the stage on fire."

"Damien doesn't need to burn stuff all the time. I agree with Miranda. He'll at least leave the stage alone for the first day," Oz walks up to Damien and sits beside him.

Instead of focusing on the weird conversation dip that just happened, Oz goes along with it. Afterall, he caught his friends in a lie and they probably thought he was going to call them out on it.

After that, things slowly fall back into a normal conversation about everybody's costume design.

Like what's in the bottle attached to Polly's waist? It's a grasshopper cocktail for when she gets too sober. Why did Liam pick a prince when they're so popular? Because stories where vampires are the protagonist and a prince are practically unheard of, and therefore, artistic. Why was Damien the only one with a prop sword? Everyone decided the teachers didn't want to give Damien another weapon to stab people with. The most important question however is, why did Miranda get a Princess Daisy dress? Miranda has no idea who Princess Daisy is. However, she will be questioning the serf that came up with the design later.

After about twenty more minutes of conversation, Miranda asks the rational question.

"Aren't we supposed to do theater stuff out here?" Miranda frowns, "All we've done is chat since we got here. I expected to get some uses out of my actor serfs to enact a performance for me."

"Eh, probably," Vera shrug, "But those two are doing enough for the seven of us."

Vera points up to the stage where Vicky, Scott, and a ton of randoes are reenacting a battle. Well, Vicky and everyone else are reenacting a battle. Scott is cheering them on from the side-line with the role as the emotional support tree. The role Vicky probably came up with.

"Six," Liam corrects.

"Six?" Vera looks around and seems to be counting in her head, "...Where's Amira?"

Oz and Brian share a look before one of them speaks, "She's not here right now."

Amira probably wants this to be a surprise. Oz and Brian aren't willing to completely lie for her dramatics, so omission of information will work.

"Wow. Really? Did you come up with that all on your own?" Vera says annoyed.

"Woah, calm down queen of mean," Polly laughs, "They might be vague because our local Djinn is planning a fiery confession for someone right now."

"That's a terrible guess. There's no way Amira would even have somebody to confess to…" Vera seems to hesitate before looking to Oz and Brian with some type of concern, "Right?"

Oz is the one to answer this time, "Polly's guess isn't far off, but Amira definitely isn't setting up a confession."

"Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking," Vera sounds annoyed but her face says she's relieved, "We've barely been in school for a couple weeks. That's not enough time to even develop a crush."

"Hmm, I don't know," Polly leans closer, "I think that's quite enough time to start harboring feelings for someone."

Vera blushes a little, "I don't agree."

"But we're young and our libidos are high. It only makes sense that romance and other  _ feelings _ would blossom," Polly reasons.

"What does that even mean? It sounds like bullshit," Damien growls.

"This is why I'm literally the only one who makes good grades in science," Polly looks at Damien as if she's been offended and throws her arms in the air.

"Science is the only class you attend regularly," Liam deadpans while Oz explains to Damien what a libido is.

"We're getting off track," Polly shakes her head, "My point was that crushes can totally form in under a month, and Vera needs to see that!"

"If I agree with you will you stop talking?" Vera frowns.

"Yep," Polly pops the 'p' and smiles.

"Then continue talking, I refuse to agree with stupid logic."

"Fine then! I just won't talk until you agree then," Polly makes a zipped lips motion.

"That'll really show her Polly," Liam says sarcastically.

It takes thirty seconds of quiet before Polly realizes what she's doing, "Hey! You tricked me! I refuse to stay silent in the face of adversity! And if Vera's my adversity then I will never stay silent in her face."

"That doesn't even make sense," Vera frowns.

"Hah! You don't make sense!" Polly retorts.

At this point Vera's gripping the bridge of her nose in annoyance and muttering incoherently with a bit of 'god no' and 'please lend me the strength' sprinkled in every so often.

It's at this point Oz's attention is pulled away from the bickering friends by a warm thing wrapping around his leg. He looks down to see that yet again, Damien's tail has found its way to Oz, specifically, his calf. 

Remembering how embarrassed Damien was last time this happened Oz accesses the situation and considers the best approach. All of their friends are around to notice, but they're distracted by the ongoing verbal spat between Polly and Vera. If Oz wants to tell Damien subtly, now's the time. Oz elbows Damien a little and singles him out mentally.

Feeling a slight jab in his rib from Oz, Damien pulls his attention away from his friends. He makes eye contact with Oz and only two quiet words ring out in the demon's head.

"Your tail," Oz stutters slightly as he looks down at his leg. 

Damien follows his gaze only to feel the heat of several supernovas run to his face. As quickly as Damien can manage, he forces his tail unfurl from from Oz and scoots several inches away just to be sure it doesn't happen again. Damien wants to go light a building on fire and sit in the flames right now. Once can be played off as a mistake, twice will make it seem like Damien is purposefully doing this! Damien refuses to meet eyes with Oz and glares at his friends who are none the wiser.

Well, most of his friends that are none the wiser. Brian watches both the blushing monsters with well concealed exasperation. If things keep going like this then Brian might give Vicky permission to meddle. They're both way too oblivious and dense for their own good. It's insane.

Speaking of insane, both Oz and Brian's phones buzz right before the lights on the stage turn on… and the smoke machines that were backstage start working. Vicky quickly jumps off the stage with Scott following close behind. They rush towards their friends and Vicky instructs Scott to sit down and watch.

"Do you know what's going on Vicky?" Scott asks within earshot of the rest of the group.

"Yeah! We're either about to watch the coolest thing that's ever gonna happen on that stage or the most embarrassing," Vicky vibrates in her seat faster than Scott's tail wags, "It's gonna be a good show no matter what!"

"Is this Amira, or-"

"Shhhh!" Vicky, Polly, Miranda, and a couple other students cut Vera off.

Oz turns to Vera and talks to her alone, "This is most definitely Amira."

Vera swivels her head around and gives Oz a single nod of appreciation. Oz whips out his phone and reads Amira's text in the calm before the storm. Oz notices in his peripheral vision that Brian is doing the same.

The sound speakers kick in and a low drum beat plays throughout the auditorium. A lone figure is seen exiting the fog. Suddenly, two bright lights are also visible from within the gray wall. The light blocks out the figure. One of the lights is sent high above the fog before it comes raining down into the curious audience. 

One guy reaches out to grab the light to realize only it's a fireball. Still, it's too late to back down so he still holds his hands out to catch the flaming ball. Surprisingly to everyone in the gym except Oz, Brian, and Vicky, the guy doesn't get burned. However, when he opens his eyes to see what he caught, a skull stares back at him. He then does the most rational thing possible and screams bloody murder before tossing it to someone else. The music turns to a malevolent rock as people start playing hot potato with the fiery head. 

A low chuckle sounds over the rock music before it evolves into a full blown evil laugh. The flaming skull makes its way through the crowd until Oz stands up and catches it before it goes through Polly's body. He waits until the laughing stops and drops the skull through his own shadow. To anyone else except Oz, Brian, and Damien it looks like the flaming skull magically reappeared back in the fog. Now that Oz has done what Amira asked him to, he gets to sit back and watch the show. He uses this as a chance to steal back the space between him and Damien.

At this point some students are running away from the stage and out of the auditorium all together. Only the brave and unphased are left behind. 

This is the point Amira starts talking and the speakers warble her voice,  **"The weak run from me! The strong fear me! The living curse me! And the dead… they fight with me!"**

Vicky starts bouncing in her seat as Amira continues. The both of them have always had a thing for the dramatics, so it's not a shocker to Oz when two pillars of flames erupt on either side of the stage.

The only thing that goes through his mind is that Amira somehow got the blowtorch from the kitchen and made a pit stop in the chem lab, or at least that's the only thing Oz can say to explain how she did it. If only Amira applied herself to different hobbies other than dancing, drinking, and dramatics. The world wouldn't stand a chance then.

However, those thoughts are for a different time and place, as the pillars of fire just revealed Amira, who's talking to the extinguished skull in her hand as the fog clings to her wedges.

**"Fear, entropy, insanity. Why do mortals fear them so? They are but the gates to the soul,"** Amira is really playing up the part at this point. As a few of the still lingering students try to leave, Amira turns to the crowd again **, "I've opened the gates to my soul. Are you ready for me to open yours!?"**

The lights on the stage turn to the crowd and flashing and the speakers start playing static. Effectively rendering a normal person's sight and hearing useless. Oz chuckles to himself as some poor student starts screeching in terror.

Then, all at once, the lights and speakers stop, the pillars of fire disappear and the fog recedes. Oz looks around the auditorium to find that the only people left are Oz's group of friends. Everyone else has run away.

" **And Scene!"** Amira's magical prop skull extinguishes itself and she bows on the stage,  **"Is that what-** Sorry! Forgot to turn the mic off. Is that what you wanted Vick?"

Vicky rushes out of her seat, climbs onto the stage, and hands Amira a bouquet of roses… she somehow pulled from her backpack which… where did that even come from? 

"That was literally the coolest thing ever! How are you so good at that!? It was crazy!" Amira takes the bouquet and as Vicky gushes, "It was like BWAA, FWUUM, AHHHH! Then you just came in like MUAH HA HA I'LL EAT YOUR SOUL or whatever!"

"Thanks," Amira chuckles, "I learned my acting from being naturally dramatic."

"That was so cool!" Somehow Scott made his way up on the stage as well, "I thought you were actually evil, like the dog catcher, before Vicky said you were her friend. Then you summoned fire and-"

"OH MY GOD," There's Polly, "At first I thought I accidentally ate some shrooms without knowing it, but then everybody started screaming and you totally traumatised half the school! You have to teach me how to do that."

Oz sighs and looks to Brian, who has a small smile. Oz glances at the others to see Liam has been recording the whole thing, Miranda seems to be considering using such scare tactics on her own people, and Vera just stares at the stage with a pink tint and a mildly impressed expression. Oz turns to ask Damien what he thought of the flaming piers of fire before he suddenly grabs Oz's arm.

"Fuck," Oz glances at Damien when he curses and then follows his gaze.

The edge of the stage curtain is on fire. It must have happened just before Amira ran out of fuel for the flames. It's spreading quickly, but not enough for anybody to get in a real panic.

"Yeah, we better get going," Oz gets up to warn his friends about fire and leave when Damien pulls him backwards.

"No, you don't understand. My stash of explosives is hidden in the rafters just above that damn curtain!" Damien shouts drawing the others attention.

Oz glances at the spreading fire, "...oh no."

"YEAH, OH NO" Damien shouts.

At this point Vera and Liam have figured out what's going on and are dragging Miranda towards the exit while yelling to those on stage. Vicky and Polly are the next two to connect the dots and start rushing out of the building while ushering Scott and Amira. Damien and Oz follow quickly behind. It's a dead sprint out of the auditorium and into the open grass in front of Spooky High. Once the group gets far enough away and is out of breath they turn around to wait.

After a few minutes of silence, Scott is the one to speak up, "So… umm…. Why did we run like that?"

Oz turns to Damien, "Do you think your explosives were duds."

Damien looks puzzled, "They've never been bad before. At the most they might react a little late, but-"

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

The entire left side of the auditorium explodes and the force of blast knocks the roses out of Amira's hand even at this distance. They all stare at the destroyed building in silence.

Scott's is again the first one to speak up, "Oh… that's why!"

Polly starts laughing, "Do we put that disaster under Damien's name or Amira's?!"

Damien and Amira share a quick glance. Amira grimaces and Damien scowls before both speak up, "Let's call it a team effort."

"A team effort does seem fit," Liam types something in on his phone, "And posted."

"Did you get the explosion?" Amira leans over to Liam and watches to see that, yes, he did catch the explosion.

Brian puts his head in his hands and starts muttering about chaos following them wherever they go.

Oz walks over to the zombie and pats him on the back before turning to Amira, "Have you ever considered trying for broadway? After that, I think they'll take you."

Vera huffs in amusement, "Only if I get to be her manager."

That is how the fiery witch of the theater became somewhat of a cryptid at Spooky High for generations. Only Liam's dedicated three hundred followers ever saw the video to actually know what happened.

\------------------------Extra-----------------------

Oz sits on his couch and stares at the wall blankly before putting his head in his hands. He can't stop thinking about earlier today. No, not the explosion or Amira's fiery show. It's Damien he can't get out of his head. 

_ "You always become so flustered when this 'Damien LaVey' is involved,"  _ Z'Gord states out loud. Well, as out loud as Z'Gord and Oz can be.

Ever since Oz brought Z'Gord out of the void and into the mortal realm permanently. He's kept her totem with him in his home at all times so they can talk about the world outside her prison. Right now, the totem is leaning against Oz's thigh as he thinks.

"I'm not flustered," Oz states firmly.

_ "We've already established that I can see out of the totem Oz. I can see you're blushing,"  _ Z'Gord states smugly, " _ Plus, I can sense your emotions." _

Oz's embarrassment is practically palpable, so obviously Z'Gord takes her moment to laugh at Oz's expense.

It's not Oz's fault! It's whoever made that stupid costume who messed Oz up! He had been able to keep from starting at Damien earlier, but now that he's alone, the picture of him in his costume won't get out of Oz's head. 

The whole costume was similar to that of a hellish war general or dark knight. The chest piece had six glowing green horizontal streaks on either side of the breastplate. The plate also left the sides of Damien's lower stomach visible. The neck had three yellow spikes along with it with another five going down the right arm. The costume also had two skull-like decals on the knees and one placed directly on Damien's pelvis. On top of that the whole thing was practically covered in fluffy fur. Oz is lucky he was wearing gloves or he might have reached out and touched it without thinking. His gladiator esk helmet was the last piece and was obviously custom made with how well it fitted. In fact, out of all the costumes, Damien's is probably the one that took the most altering to design. With his horns, tail, and all that they probably had to make it from scratch. 

...That's another thing, Damien's tail. Oz pushes the thoughts of Damien's costume to the back of his head in favor of a much more important problem. Oz embarrassed Damien. Of course, deep down, Oz knows it's not really his fault that it happened, but he can't help his feelings. Damien's done nothing but make Oz feel comfortable with his insecurities despite his fiery personality. Oz can't help but want to do the same for Damien and his.

How could Oz help Damien though? It's not like he's the best person to act confident enough to just say it's alright and make it sound believable. Oz is the kind of person to awkwardly pat someone's back while they cry and have an anxiety attack about it later.

Oz takes a moment to brainstorm while he practices summoning his mustache and then making it disappear. It takes practice and familiarity to change his form in certain ways, and with theater about to become a more common class after the auditorium gets rebuilt, Oz needs to practice. It's as Oz brings his hand up to touch the newly formed hair that he gets the perfect idea.

_ "It looks like you have a solution to answer your problem,"  _ Z'Gord states,  _ "I can feel your revelation _ . _ " _

"Well, I might not have a solution, but I definitely have an idea."

_ "Are you going to ask him out?"  _ Z'Gord asks bluntly while sounding happy.

"What?!" Oz asks, shocked.

_ "You said that people who like each other a lot ask each other out on dates, then if they go on a bunch of dates they have sex, after that they get married, and-" _

When Oz originally told Z'Gord about the concept of relationships he knew she was overly excited, but now, everytime Oz mentions two people she'll ask about their relationship status and if they plan on changing it. She's done it with Brian and Liam, Vicky and Scott, and even Vera and Amira. Her favorite to ask about however, is Oz and Damien. It makes Oz uncomforable, but also somewhat irrationally happy.

"No! You only do all that if you  _ like  _ like each other," Oz tries to explain, "Damien and I are friends. Really good friends, but friends nonetheless."

_ "Okay, sure,"  _ Z'Gord seems unconvinced but mentally insists on Oz trying his idea out so she can see.

Oz pulls up a bunch of pictures and videos of Damien he has on his phone from their multiple adventures. He searches through said photos until he finds the one he's looking for. It's the only one that Oz has where Damien still has both his horns. The angle isn't the best considering how it was taken as a selfie by someone who can't be seen on camera, but it will serve its purpose. Hopefully, what Oz has in mind will work and Damien won't feel awkward with his tail any longer.

With new determination Oz sets to work. He stands up with his phone in one hand and the totem of Z'Gord in the other. Oz focuses on shapeshifting and slowly, over a span of ten minutes, his form changes. Once he's finished, Oz waits for Z'Gord's opinion. 

_ "Make the horns a little closer,"  _ She critiques,  _ "Other than that, I think it looks on point." _

"Okay, got it," Oz gets rid of his new attributes and tries again, and again, and again. Until he feels confident in his change and the time it takes to change starts to quickly decrease. 


	26. Chat Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oz is late for school and his friends are worried.
> 
> Damien is wondering if his friend is alright and gets some advice from Liam and Polly.
> 
> A new group chat is created for different reasons than the first.

As the school bell rings out around the school, signaling the start of a new day, Oz jumps through the shadows and into his own locker.

Oz spent all of last night practicing his new forms and only realized he needed to go to school five minutes after he was supposed to show up. In a panic, Oz decided to just shadow jump there directly to save time.

When he appears in the dark enclosed space, Oz quickly comes to the conclusion that he appeared in the wrong locker. Either that or somebody pranked Oz by putting pink electrobolt stickers all over the place. Oz bangs his head against the metal door as punishment to his own stupidity. After a few seconds dedicated to self-loathing, Oz lets Kleidariaphobia manifest through the grate in the locker to pick the mechanism and let Oz out. 

After a few tense seconds of waiting, the door swings open and Oz gives Kleidariaphobia a tiny high five as thanks for its work before letting the phobia fade back into the void. Oz steps out into the hallway, looks for anybody loitering near him, and then sighs in relief when he doesn't spot anyone. Oz shuts the locker that he now recognizes as Vicky's and thanks the tiny bit of luck he just cashed in. Imagine if he accidentally ended up in Vera or Liam's locker instead. That… would have been _much_ more of an invasion of privacy.

With a sigh Oz considers what to do next. He obviously can't go to his normal classroom. The teachers don't give kids detention for skipping, but for some reason showing up late is almost a guarantee to have to stay after school. It makes zero sense whatsoever, but at this point, Oz tries not to wonder about the school's questionable punishment system. It only raises more questions in the end.

Oz considers going to the bathroom to just hide out until the next period, but in the end he decides to head out to the back of the school and see what shenanigans the other students are getting into, without getting involved. Not being in a rush to get there quickly, Oz decides to just walk through the halls instead of shadow hopping.

Oz opens the door to the outside of the school and is met with the now commonplace scene of a rave. Some students dance crazily, some are drunk and passed out on the ground, and others are high as hell and trying to fight hallucinations. It's nothing Oz hasn't seen before at Spooky High. Oz makes his way across the crowd to people watch. It's a habit Oz's never quite broken himself of. 

It doesn't take long for Oz to fade into the background of the rave and watch from the shadows. After all, he's got millions of years in experience for that. It's said experience and skills that lets Vicky and Amira walk directly in front of him without noticing his presence.

"Dammit, he's not here either," Amira growls as she looks around, looking over Oz in her panic, "We already checked the bathrooms and the classrooms."

"Did he answer your texts?" Vicky sounds concerned for some reason.

"No, for the sixth time, he has not," Amira sounds annoyed but also worried.

"Do you think he's sick, or hurt, or-" Vicky types into her phone desperately.

"Vick. I'm sure he just hasn't realized we texted him. You should relax," Amira says despite her growing scowl.

"But he ALWAYS answers his texts! The last time he didn't answer us was that time in the forest!" Vicky grabs Amira's shoulders and frowns, "What if h-he's been kidnapped o-o-or…"

"Vicky. Calm the fuck down," Amira's trying to sound calm, but her voice cracks mid sentence, "He's definitely not been kidnapped and Brian says there's probably nothing to worry about and he's usually right, right?"

"Y-yeah," Vicky still sounds unsure and distressed.

It's at this point Oz steps up to his friends to see what's going on. The moment Oz moves Vicky's head snaps in his direction. Amira remains oblivious until Oz sets his hand on her shoulder. Before Amira can even turn around though, Vicky has Oz in a bear hug. 

"There you are Oz! Were you here the whole time!? Why didn't you answer your texts!? You weren't kidnapped were you?! We were looking for you! Gah, forget that, I'm just happy you're alright!" 

If Oz needed to breath, he's sure that he would be suffocating from Vicky's hug at this point.

"Vicky, let Oz go before you break something," Oz doesn't have anything that would break, but he's thankful for Amira's intervention anyways.

"T-Thanks Amira, I thought I was gonna-" Amira slaps Oz across the face before immediately tugging him into a hug.

"You absolute idiot. We've been looking for you all morning and you were just sitting here ignoring us! Vicky thought you were kidnapped!" Amira growls while hugging Oz, which sends the eldritch being a very mixed message.

Vicky seems to take Amira's lead and frowns, "Yeah! Amira thought you died!"

Amira suddenly jerks out of the hug and rounds on Vicky, "I did not!"

"When we were looking for Oz in the library your exact words were, and I quote, 'Do you think he ended up falling down his stairs or something and broke his neck?'" Vicky recounts Amira's relatively morbid words with a straight face.

"I was just trying to lighten the mood!"

"Well it wasn't the time!"

Oz steps forward and interrupts the bickering, "What are you two talking about?"

Amira and Vicky turn to Oz with surprised expressions, but Vicky's the one who answers, "We've been texting you all morning!"

"Yeah," Amira adds, "We were having a conversation over text and you weren't participating in the chat, so we tried to get in touch with you!"

"But you didn't answer like normal! We spammed your phone all morning, but still didn't get a response!" Vicky pouts.

"Then you didn't show up for first period five minutes before the bell like you usually do, so we started searching the school. We thought something was wrong with you," Amira throws both her arms in the air, "We never would have imagined you ignoring us!"

"Ignoring you? I didn't even get any- oh…" Oz pulls out his phone and tries to turn it on only for the dead battery symbol to appear, "My phone's dead."

Vicky steps closer to see Oz's phone then snickers, "Well, it's good to know you weren't ignoring us at least."

Vicky's statement only reinforces Oz's guilt, "I'm so sorry. I should have checked my phone before I left for school this morning. I usually charge it, but I completely forgot. I am so, so, so sorry for making you look for me."

Amira grabs Oz and starts ruffling his dark matter hair, "Of course you would apologize for inconveniencing us. You obviously didn't know about the phone, so it's not your fault!"

"But I should have known when my alarm for school didn't go off. I was too worried about being late," Oz drops his head in shame, "You guys were rushing all around the school searching for me when I was just sitting here doing nothing."

"Gah, nothing gets through that head of yours when you feel bad does it?," Amira stops, retracts her hand from Oz's head, and flicks his forehead which causes him to look up again, "If you want to make it up to us just make sure it doesn't happen again, okay? You can't just answer every text we ever send you then stop without us thinking something's wrong!"

Oz nods quickly, "I'll make sure it doesn't happen again. In fact, I'll go find a charger to use right-"

"Nope!" Vicky pops her 'p' and snaches Oz's phone directly out of his hands, "I've been dying for a chance to try this ever since I thought it up! I just didn't want to try it with my phone."

"Wait Vicky, what are you-" 

Oz takes a step forward to try and stop Vicky as she pulls her blue backpack from nowhere and takes out a car battery and some cables. She starts clipping the cables to both the bolts on her neck while still holding Oz's phone.

"If this works I'll never have to charge my phone again," Vicky starts messing with the settings.

"And if it doesn't?!" Oz watches Vicky warily.

"Then I guess I owe you a phone!" Vicky flips the switch and electricity surges into the bolts on her neck and then down her arms to the phone in her hand.

"Holy crap!" Amira takes a step back as a couple of dancing students look their way then quickly move somewhere else to continue partying.

"I-I-I-IT'S W-W-W-WORKING!" As Vicky's whole head is filled with the electricity the phone starts rapidly showing its percentage of power increasing.

"Does electricity even work like that?" Amira raises an eyebrow and takes another step back for safety.

"It doesn't," Oz watches Vicky warily and prays his phone comes out intact, "I have no idea how this is even happening right now."

As the last bit of power surges into the phone, Vicky's hair has already shot up to stand straight. There's a few moments of silence before Vicky grins ear to ear.

Vicky looks at the phone for a moment before she chucks it to Oz haphazardly, "It worked!"

Oz scrambles to catch it and fumbles with it for a moment before turning it on. Vicky is actually correct. Somehow, against all science and logic, her little stunt charged the phone to full power. 

Oz doesn't stay focused on that for long though. He starts going through all the texts he missed while Vicky and Amira freak out.

"You can charge phones with electricity!" Amira throws her hands up in the air.

"I can charge phones with electricity!" Vicky copies Amira's gesture.

"You'll never have to worry about being low battery ever again," Amira cheers, "As long as you have your regular battery you can charge phones in less than thirty seconds, and you never leave home without thay anyway!"

"Just my phone?! I can charge everybody's phone!" Vicky puts her hand up to high five Amira.

Amira returns the high five only to yelp and retract it instantly, "You shocked me!"

Vicky looks at her hand and chuckles, "Oops."

"That hurt more than you would think," Amira grabs her hand that got shocked and rubs it, "It was like I stuck my hand into ice cold water that was hot."

Vicky pulls a scrunchy out of her backpack and starts taming her hair into a ponytail.

"Double oops?" Vicky continues chuckling.

"You need to keep that in mind with the whole phone charging thing," Amira shrugs off her pain, "Don't want to hug Scott and cause a lightning bolt to strike."

"I didn't even think of that. That would be terrible," Vicky's face turns panicked, "Amira, I can't charge phones alright!? Nobody needs to know what happened!"

"What?! Why?! You can just be careful around Scott right?" Amira awkwardly chuckles.

"I'll forget and then electrocute Scott and he'll be sad! I don't want Scott to be sad!" Vicky frowns, "You gotta help me out with this!"

At this point Amira actually laughs, "Okay, okay, okay. I didn't see _anything_. We just found Oz and we used magic to charge his phone. This school's so crazy everyone will believe us."

Vicky nods at Amira once then addresses Oz, "You don't tell anyone either alright Oz? ...Oz?"

Vicky and Amira turn their attention to Oz to see him staring at his phone, eyes wide and panicked. They're about to ask what's wrong when Oz looks up and suddenly starts sprinting away.

"Gotta go guys! Something important just came up!" Oz yells over his shoulder, "Sorry again for the phone problem."

Vicky and Amira stare off in the distance after Oz.

"What do you think that's about?" Vicky frowns.

"I have no idea but I'm telling Brian we found Oz," Amira's already typing on her phone.

"I bet it's Damien," Vicky deadpans.

"When isn't it Damien?" Amira snorts.

\------------------------Earlier------------------------

"Why are you looking at your phone like that?" Liam pushes his glasses up and puts his phone in his pocket. 

"Like what?!" Damien barely glances in Liam's direction as he scowls at his phone in hatred.

Liam sighs, "Let me rephrase that, why do you look like you want to destroy your phone with every bit of your being?"

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about," Damien snarls, "Newsflash, I always looks at my phone this way."

"No you don't!" The upper part of Polly's incorporeal body pops out of a closed bathroom stall, "Normally your scowl has like, 15% less hatred in it."

"How long have you been here!?" Damien turns his attention to Polly.

"Hmm? I've been here all morning working on another batch of toilet wine!" Polly answers then her eyes light up, "Why? You want to try some?!"

Ignoring Polly's request, Liam smirks, "Even Polly, as ignorant as she is, can tell that you're not in a good mood."

"Whatever," Damien growls and rolls his eyes, "You two are full of shit."

Polly phases the rest of her body out of the stall door and makes her way to Damien, "Actually, I'm not full of anything. I'm incorporeal. That means I'm made of nothing."

Damien actually growls at Polly. He continues glaring at his phone. 

"Hey! Don't ignore me!" Polly somehow pouts and whines at the same time, "I'm too great to be ignored! I'm allergic to not being in the spotlight!"

"There's no way that's an actual allergy Polly," Liam deadpans.

"Uh, yeah it is! How do you think I died?!" Polly floats in Damien's face and shouts.

"Probably by alcohol poisoning or an overdose of some sort," Liam shrugs.

"That was a rhetorical question!" Polly frowns and crosses her arms over her chest.

"Can you two ever shut the hell up!" Damien snarls angrily.

Both monsters stay silent for a moment before Polly speaks up, "Y'know earlier when I said his scowls normally have 15% less hate in them? I was wrong, it should have been 25%. He's pissed for some reason."

"IT'S BECAUSE YOU TWO WON'T BE QUIET!" Damien shouts.

Liam ignores Damien and seems to be thinking, "We obviously won't get a straight answer from him… We'll have to guess."

"OH, OH I love guessing games!" Polly floats upside down, "They're just like when I take drugs. I just say random stuff and hope I come out on top."

"I wouldn't compare childish games to drugs, but the similarities are there," Liam nods to Polly.

"I know right!? They're crazy alike. There was this one time where I went to a party and we played this crazy game of twister that-"

"Polly. We're trying to guess why Damien's in such a bad mood," Liam manages to stop the poltergeist before she starts ranting.

"Oh yeah!" Polly snaps her fingers and smiles, "Maybe Damien's mad that somebody stole a bunch of his drugs, or some super cool rave in the woods got canceled by a forest fire?"

"Can't be," Liam shakes his head, "Damien doesn't keep a stash of drugs like you do, and if a party got canceled by a fire you can bet Damien's the one who set the fire."

"Yeah, you right. You right," Polly sends Liam finger guns, "What if he couldn't buy his illegal 98% alcohol whiskey that he likes, or he got detention for blowing up the auditorium yesterday?"

"Possible," Liam shrugs, "But let's continue brainstorming. What if Damien's favorite artist became mainstream and therefore gave up their original charm, or what if his followers online misinterpreted his vague post about modern art for a statement about global warming?"

"Naw, I don't think that's it. Maybe Damien had a one night stand and his partner was subpar? Damien hasn't had one of those since we first met. Probably because he developed a crush on-" Polly has a sudden moment of enlightenment and her eyes light up.

"What is it? Did you figure it out?" Liam tilts his head curiously.

"~Maybe," Polly smiles and a mischievous light glistens in her eyes, "~I'm thinking that maybe a certain shadow monster that has a nickname for our favorite demon has something to do with this funk."

Damien stops looking at his phone for a minute and locks eyes with Polly, his cheeks dusted pink.

"No!" Damien's voice cracks in his protest.

"Ha! It totally does have something to do with your crush!" Polly chuckles.

"That's it? Love problems? What a trope," Liam frowns and rolls his eyes.

"FUCK OFF!" Damien scowls.

"Come on Liam! We just gotta give our friend relationship advice!" When Polly sees Liam's frown deepen she floats closer and chuckles maliciously, "~Or we could talk about Brian and how I saw you two listening to music in an empty classroom last Monday. I'd say that's pretty romantic."

Liam makes an odd choking noise as red dusts his cheeks similar to Damien. He suspiciously changes tunes after Polly's threat, "W-Well, it might be a trope, but we're friends, so I guess I'd be happy to give you my brilliant and wise advice."

"I don't need anybody's fucking _advice_ ! I'm fine on my own!" Damien scowls, "What would you know about _real_ relationships anyways. All your experience is sex related!"

"So you do have feelings for Oz?" Polly smirks and waggles her eyebrows.

"WHAT?! NO! FUCK YOU! THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID!" Damien shouts in protest.

"It's not about what you said, it's about what you meant," Liam scoffs, "Everybody knows that you can't trust what people actually say when emotions come into play."

"Yeah! We're totally like phycologists right now! Everything you say, we'll figure out the real meaning behind it," Polly sends Damien a challenging look.

"You better just tell us the truth so we can get this over with quickly," Liam says, "We might actually be able to help you anyways."

Damien switches between glaring at the two monsters before looking back at his phone with a pained expression. After about thirty seconds of this Damien sighs and scowls.

"...fine. I'll fucking tell you why I'm in a bad mood," Damien grunts, "Even if you both give me shit advice at least it'll get you off my back."

"YEAH!" Polly fistpumps.

"You've come to your senses it seems," Liam nods in approval.

" _But!_ Let's get two things straight," Damien's blood lust goes through the roof and he levels a gaze at his two friends, "You don't tell anybody outside of this room about our conversation, and if Oz finds out about this, I WILL flay the both of you. It doesn't matter if you're already dead or not. You. Will. Suffer."

Polly nods determinedly and Liam looks bored.

"Go ahead and tell us your problem," Liam sighs.

The bloodlust recedes quickly to be replaced with an air of embarrassment. Polly and Liam find the instant change shocking, but adapt accordingly.

"Don't either of you two dare fucking laugh, but I'm upset Oz hasn't texted me this morning," Damien looks away from Polly and Liam with a blush as he nervously shows them his phone.

Polly leans forward and sure enough, there's a string of one-sided texts all unanswered from Damien in the last three hours. Liam grabs the bridge of his nose and sighs, while Polly has a hand over her mouth to keep her laughter in.

"That's what you're so torn up about? You're little crush hasn't texted you back this morning?" Liam sighs, "You're grouching about in the bathroom because he hasn't answered you in the last three hours?!"

"N-no," Polly is still trying to hold in her amusement, "We've got to take him seriously Liam. No mocking, we're being supportive right now."

Now is when Damien's dam is let loose and the water is allowed to flow freely, "You two don't understand! Oz never ignores texts unless something's going down! He's even told me how he tries to answer no matter how inconvenient it is for him. I've known Ozzie for more than three months and in that time, he's never not answered a fucking text! He could have just lost his damn phone or something, but if he did why would he have not been in class this morning. Oz's literally the only one who arrives to class early by five minutes. The only times he's ever skipped is when he comes in here, but when I come here to find him, he's NOT HERE!"

At the end of his speech, Damien is breathless. He didn't even say everything that's on his mind. Damien knows Oz can't really get hurt or die, but what if he's having a panic attack about something by himself right now. Ozzie promised to get Damien if he ever felt like he was going to have one, but Oz is the type to push everyone else away when he's hurt, as not to drag anyone down with him. It's a toxic mentality that Damien wants to help his friend to break.

Liam and Polly stare at Damien in stunned silence. Not only was that not expected, but it was also… surprisingly sweet. Who knew Damien could make worry sound so threatening and caring at the same time.

**"** So you're just worried about him?" Polly clasps her hands together and places then on her cheek when Damien's blush deepens, "~That is sooo adorable! You just want to make sure he's alright."

"I will say that your concern wasn't expected, but does show some charm," Liam admits with a sigh, "I can also say you do actually have a reason for your worrying."

"But…" Polly urges Liam to continue.

"But," Liam nods to Polly, "Oz seems to be very capable. Especially if all the stories you've shared with him are true. I'm sure he's fine and his phone just got destroyed or something and he's late to school today."

Polly nods along, "I'm sure he's fine Damien. He seems like the responsible type. Definitely more responsible than any of your other friends. Although I'm sure he'd be touched by your concern."

"Yes," Liam agrees with Polly, "Despite the relationships of demon couples being popular and mainstream. I can honestly say that I'm rooting for your love endeavors despite that."

"Two demons?" Damien says in confusion until he remembers Oz is technically a fearling to everyone else in this school with the exception of, maybe, the Loser Gang. 

However, before Damien can backtrack, Liam catches his mistake, "Oz _is_ a demon, right? I would hate to have assumed and be wrong."

"No way!" Polly interjects before Damien can set things right, "You know those tiny creatures that appear all over his body sometimes?"

Liam nods and gestures for Polly to continue. Damien wants to find a way to shut this conversation down to keep his promise to Oz from being broken, but Polly ignores his ever growing scowl and air of intimidation.

"I saw one of them sneak some Holy Water Soup from Vicky at lunch," Polly says matter of factly, "No demon can consume any type of that stuff. I read it in a book once when I was high and bored!"

"So Oz isn't a demon. I'm glad I found out sooner rather than later. As much as I love insulting and belittling monsters, calling them the wrong race based on looks crosses a line," Liam frowns, "Can you tell us what he is for future reference Damien?"

"Yeah! That way I won't do whatever Liam said!" Polly smiles.

Damien tries to think of some type of monster that fits a Oz's description with little to no history, but who can do that from memory. After a bit of an awkward silence, Damien just goes with his normal line of defense.

"Why the fuck are you asking me? Go ask Oz and leave me the hell alone!" He defaults back to pointing fingers. 

Damien is ashamed of his own fast thinking. He literally just threw his best friend and possible crush under the bus. Why is he like this?

"Ask Oz!? That would be admitting that I didn't know in the first place!" Liam exclaims.

"We don't know in the first place though?" Polly says in confusion.

"Exactly Polly. How can we ask him when we have no idea whatsoever. I know all types of less popular monsters, so not knowing this will utterly destroy my cred!"

"Not our cred!" Polly gasps, "Damien! Can you tell us!? We need to know!"

"I don't know everything about Oz! Go ask his other friends or whatever if you want to know! I don't give a shit, just stop asking me!"

"Aw man," Polly sounds disappointed, "Where's all that sweetness you had talking about Oz earlier? I want that Damien back?"

Damien glares at Polly and lets off a wave of intimidation, "Fuck. Off."

"Come on Polly, Damien obviously doesn't know and is upset about it," Damien's eye twitches, but he keeps himself from being provoked by Liam's jab, "We'd do better to just go ask a couple of other students, or perhaps we could just ask in the groupchat."

"I wanna go see if Amira's flirting with Vera again," Polly floats upside down and throws her arms out, "Let's hold off on the chat."

Liam sighs, "Ok then. Let's check on Vera."

Damien glares at the two monsters as Polly phases through the door and Liam follows by exiting normally. Damien might have just lost a bit of reliability in the secret keeping department, even if he technically didn't give away any secrets.

"Fuck."

Damien pulls up his phone to warn Oz about Polly and Liam's impromptu investigation, only to see that Oz finally texted him back

**FUCKINGNOOB:** I'm so sorry for not answering you Dames. My phone went dead and I didn't realize. I was late to school too, so I didn't make it to class.

Despite what just happened, Damien's happy to know Ozzie's phone just died and none of the other stuff he was worried about happened. Still, Damien bites back a bit of his relief to warn Oz of his mistake and hopes he doesn't get mad at Damien for letting the cat out of the bag.

**AngryHellBoi:** i might have accidentally let it slide that you aren't a demon to Polly and Liam

Damien decided to go straight for the kill with no lead up. It's like murder, you just stab the person quickly and wait to see what they do.

**FUCKINGNOOB:** Where are you

The chaste response does nothing but make Damien more nervous at Oz's reaction. It's an unprecedented thought, but Damien really wishes he changed Oz's chat name before they had this conversation, it makes everything just a little more real to him.

**AngryHellBoi:** the same bathroom Polly makes her booze in

There's no response. Damien waits for an angry text asking how he couldn't keep a single secret, or how Damien betrayed Oz's trust in the worst kind of way. It's after two minutes of no response that Damien worries Oz blocked him. He's so high-strung that when someone tries to open the door to enter the bathroom he doesn't even look up from his phone. As long as whoever it is minds their own goddamn buisness and leaves Damien the fuck alone, he could care less.

"What happened?" The voice in his head makes Damien jerk up and scan the room. 

He locks eyes with Oz and realizes that the reason he didn't respond was because he actually ran to the bathroom. Despite his nerves Damien's chest fills with warmth. The dork probably forgot he could just shadow jump… again. However, as soon as the feeling blossoms, it dies when Damien sees Ozzie's worried face and shame takes its place.

"I'm so fucking sorry," Damien apogizes then starts to explain, "I was talking to Polly and Liam in the bathroom when Liam made a remark about us being two demons. I wasn't thinking and looked at him weirdly, then Polly said something about you not being a demon because one of your phobias ate the damn Holy Water Soup in the cafetira, and now their both looking to find out what you are despite me telling them to fuck off. I don't know what they're gonna do, but those two are probably going to ask everyone in the school if they know."

First, Oz's eyes widen in shock before they condense into rage. Damien looks away and prepares for the verbal abuse about to come. He hates the idea of Oz being mad at him, but despite what everyone thinks, Damien knows when he really deserves to be yelled at. 

"Which one of you did it?" Oz sounds mad, but he's not talking to the guilty demon.

Damien turns back to Oz in confusion to find him yelling at the phobias on his shoulder. One phobia points at another with a high pitched squeak. The moment Oz locks eyes with the one that was pointed at, all the others disappear.

"Sclerophobia, why did you do it?" 

The black inkling crosses it's arms and squeaks in what seems to be annoyance.

"No, Xenophobia is not a snitch for telling me that you've been stealing food when I'm not watching. I know you love taking stuff to see if people notice, but we had a talk about what not to consume and steal. What was on the top of that list?!"

The phobia looks down and lets out some quiet squeaks in shame.

"You're right. Holy Water, crosses, and other religious memorabilia. Now what did you do?"

The phobia shrinks in on itself and lets out a pitiful squawk. 

"Correct. Now what are you not going to do again?"

The phobia frowns and lets out one more tiny squeak.

"That's what I thought," Damien watches as the guilty phobia disappears back into Oz's dark matter body.

"What the hell did I just watch?" Damien deadpans.

"Oh, sorry about that. Sclerophobia was the one who Polly saw. I was making sure he wouldn't do it again," Oz turns to Damien, already more calm then earlier.

"Aren't you mad about Polly and Liam?" Damien asks, confounded.

"What? Why?" Oz looks just as confused, "It's not like they'll find anything. I chose to hide as a fearling for a reason Dames. There's barely anything known about them in the mortal realm."

"You're not angry at all? I pretty much tipped Polly and Liam off?" Damien really didn't expect Oz to be so calm about this.

"Why would I be mad at you?" Oz's brows scrunch up in confusion and he tilts his head questioningly, "From what it sounds like, Polly and Liam came to the conclusion mostly on their own. Plus, it's not like anyone will actually know enough to tell them."

Damien untenses a little. He didn't realize how much he was dreading that until now. Something about the ever calm, collected, and shy Oz being mad just made Damien unhappy. 

Unaware to Damien's relief, Oz continues talking, "When you texted me I thought you meant that they knew everything. It's been a stressful morning and my mind just went to the worst case scenario. Actually, I wanted to see you anyway to say sorry."

"Sorry? What the hell do you have to say sorry for?" Damien frowns as Oz rubs the back of his neck.

"I didn't answer any of your texts and I showed up to school late. Vicky and Amira practically tackled me when they saw me. They thought I got hurt or something," Oz admits, "I just wanted to apologize if I worried you."

Damien takes one look at Oz's ashamed expression and lies his ass off to make him feel better, "I'm not like those two dipshits from the Loser Gang. I don't get worried about dumb shit like that. It was just a couple of unanswered texts, it's not like you ghosted me for a week or something actually serious."

"Good, I would have felt terrible if you were," The mood lightens with Oz's words as he moves to stand beside Damien.

"Yeah, whatever," Damien puts his phone in his pocket and crosses his arms, "Why were you late anyways? Don't you keep an alarm on your- oh."

Oz chuckles and Damien looks away despite the laugh being in his own head, "Yeah, my phone was dead so my alarm didn't go off. I just assumed I didn't hear it and rushed to school anyways."

"That… definitely sounds like something you would do," Damien smirks, "How did your phone even go dead? You usually keep it charged almost 24/7."

Oz starts blushing and looks away from Damien, "I-I uh… was looking for Liam's blog so I could download the video of the auditorium on my phone."

Damien eyes Oz with a scrutinizing gaze. It's obvious he just came up with that lie on the spot, but considering how volatile the reaction is, Damien lets him off the hook just this once.

"Why the hell didn't you just text him for it?" Damien raises an eyebrow.

"I-I don't have his number," Oz explains.

"Hmmm, I guess you wouldn't," Damien's eyes light up, "Actually, why don't we just create a group chat, so we can all get in touch and text?"

Oz's eyebrows shoot up, "Why didn't I think of that? You create the chat and add your friends then I'll add Vicky, Brian, and Amira."

Damien fakes annoyance, "Do we _have_ to add the Loser Gang?"

Oz pouts, literally pouts, and Damien wants to hit his head against the wall till it splits at the sight.

"You can't _not_ add them! Even if they're not friends with you, they get along with everyone else!" Oz exclaims.

"Fine," Damien grunts as he avoids eye contact by looking at his phone

_New group chat created by 🔥Damien🔥_

_Chat Admin added user FUCKINGNOOB_

_Chat Admin added user 👻☠GHOSTY☠👻_

_Chat Admin added user Medusa_

_Chat Admin added user Goodboi_

_Chat Admin added user HerMajesty_

_Chat Admin added user Liam_

_Chat Admin gave FUCKINGNOOB admin privilages._

_Chat Admin2 added user UndeadRiot_

_Chat Admin2 added user BlazinHot_

_Chat Admin2 added user ☆Sparky☆_

  
  


**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** ooooh what's this?! 

**Medusa:** Great, I have to deal with more morons on my phone.

**BlazinHot:** WoW

"Dames, tell me who's who," Oz asks as he points at Damien's screen. 

He gives Oz a quick run down of the names and Oz does the same in exchange. Damien then goes back to the newly formed group chat.

**🔥Damien🔥:** realized Oz and the loser gang didn't have everyone's number so I created a group chat

In real life Oz elbows Damien, "I was the one who insisted on them being added. Don't take all the credit."

Damien rolls his eyes and lets out a chuckle.

**🔥Damien🔥:** plus Oz wanted to get the video of the auditorium blowing up yesterday

"You threw me under the metaphorical bus," Oz pretends to be hurt, "How could you?!"

"Suck it up," Damien smirks.

**☆Sparky☆:** who's the 'loser gang?'

**Liam:** It's what Damien calls you, Brian, and Amira together. For some reason, Oz is exempt from the title. 

**BlazinHot:** Rude! 😡

**☆Sparky☆:** Yeah! That's mean

**UndeadRiot:** Eh, I can see the reasoning.

**☆Sparky☆:** BRIAN!

**Liam:** Ignoring that. (Video Link) I did you all a favor and edited the original video to make a statement on the concept of acting.

**HerMajesty:** Can you please explain this to me? I just clicked on the link and the video just looks darker and with violin music. I don't understand how this relates to acting.

**Liam:** Of course you wouldn't get it. Nobody does.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** I totally understand! 

**UndeadRiot:** You do?

**Liam:** You do?

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** lol naw 😅😎🤣😙

**Goodboi** : Why do we have another chat? I thought we had one where we talked about ozand.@damien:Ywhjsh×&×&&@;

**☆Sparky☆:** Scott?!!?!? Are you alright?!

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** He's fine. me and Liam are with him! He was texting while walking and tripped so I 'borrowed' his phone for safe keeping 😉😅🤫

**Medusa:** Good. We don't want him to accidentally type something he shouldn't.

**BlazinHot:** that would definitely be terrible

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Totes! 😉😅

**Liam:** Sure

**HerMajesty:** It would be impolite.

**☆Sparky☆:** Changing the subject. Who's the person named fuckingnoob? 

Damien bursts out laughing and Oz levels him with a glare.

**FUCKINGNOOB:** It's me, Oz. This is the name Damien gave me when we first exchanged numbers. I never got around to changing it.

**🔥Damien🔥:** because that's what you were when we met. knowing me improved you like 9000%

"Shut up," Oz laughs, "I pretty much saved your ass every time we met."

"Like hell you did," Damien growls, "I take care of myself."

Oz raises an eyebrow and starts counting on his fingers, "First meeting I stabbed a cyclops for you, then I technically saved you from a cult when you ditched me, the whole motorcycle chase happened next, don't forget the time I had to watch over you when you got wasted, and then there's a ton more that we don't have enough time to discuss if we want to go home by the end of the day."

Damien has the gall to look abashed, "Well, when you put it that way it makes it seem like I didn't do anything."

"Aw, you know I'm exaggerating," Oz chuckles, "You did plenty."

"You bet I fucking did," Damien growls under his breath.

**☆Sparky☆** : Well if he's 90000% better. He should change his name to be something that represents that!

_FUCKINGNOOB changed their name to YellowBoi_

**BlazinHot:** Oz, you can't just use the name from our chat! Be creative!

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Yeah! That's too close to Scotts name anyways! 🐶🐶🐶

**YellowBoi:** You guys used your names from pur chat. Plus, It took me an hour to come up with this originally. I'm not good with names. 

**Liam:** Obviously

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** u should change ur name too liam! It's been your first name forever!!!

**Liam:** No. Chat names are so unoriginal and popular to the masses. They've lost their spark.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** fine then. Damien, you should pick their names

**HerMajesty:** Why Damien?

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** because changing other people's names is turned off in this chat unless you have privlages

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** and he's not Oz!

**Liam:** Don't you dare change my name Damien

"Damien. No," Oz looks up from his phone to see his friend's shit eating grin.

"Was that a yes?" 

"Don't you dare!" Oz makes a grab for Damien's phone, but he turns around.

"Try and fucking stop me!" Damien tries to type something into his phone only for Oz to grab his hand and pull it away from the screen.

Oz makes another grab for the phone and this time Damien throws his arm up in the air, far above Oz's head. He jumps to make a grab for it, but when he barely misses the phone, he stands still and glares at Damien.

"What? You can't reach the phone?" Damien teases while smirking, "Who knew the embodiment of fear could be beat by his own height, or the lack of it."

"Shut up!" Oz playfully punches the opposite shoulder of the hand holding the phone, "I'm only like two inches shorter than you!"

Damien just laughs and uses his other hand to pretend he's measuring Oz, "And I'd say you're about two inches too short."

Having enough of the teasing, Oz jumps again, but this time when he gets just within reach of the phone, Ailurphobia forms in his outstretched palm. The phobia gives him the extra half inch he needed to snatch the phone.

"What the- that's cheating!" Damien stares at Oz as he rushes a few steps backwards before he grabs the phone from his phobia. 

"Ha! All is fair in love and war sucker!" Oz laughs as Damien lunges for the smartphone before getting dodged, "Stop it, or I'll send your phone into the void."

"You wouldn't," Damien eyes Oz warily.

"You wanna bet," Oz takes another step back, "Promise you won't put any curses or insults in the names and I'll let you have it back."

"No."

"Then I guess our chats can continue in the- Gah!" Damien cuts Oz off by rushing forward and trying to grab the phone.

Oz tries to sidestep Damien, but is too slow to get away completely and stumbles. To keep balance Oz grabs Damien's jacket, which only causes them both to become off balance and tumble to the ground. Damien's fast enough to catch himself with his elbows before he hits the ground and falls on top of Oz.

Oz hit the ground directly on his back and is laying flat against the tile with Damien hovering over him, a forearm on either side of his head. Oz stares up at Damien in surprise, and he can't help the heat that comes to his cheeks.

If Damien hadn't been in such a competitive mindset at the time, maybe he would have noticed the awkward position or how Oz was still holding on to his jacket and blushing. However, he was. Instead of thinking about the situation he's in, Damien snatches his phone from Oz's other hand and scrambles off of Oz to get up. 

"Ha! Got it!" Damien cheers in victory.

Oz slowly sits up and takes a moment to telepathically scream to nobody and place his head in his hands. His phone dings a couple of times to signal Damien followed through with the name change and Oz pulls himself together. He slowly stands up and takes out his phone while his metaphorical heart calms down. He scrolls up and reads the texts he missed while keeping his other hand on his chest. Damien is still too focused on his phone to notice Oz's inward crisis.

**🔥Damien🔥:** wu1hvg_÷<!&-:he*× ýè×<×8[+ r8ejahabqu72<÷&-; •¥°¡°¥iwuwv

**🔥Damien🔥:** shwu^■•€•♡○》 ○€jsjwjazad jga7\\\□》♤YagH e8ua

**HerMajesty:** What's going on?

**Medusa:** I think Oz and Damien are fighting for his phone.

**☆Sparky☆:** Do you think they'll hurt each other? Do we need to stop them?

**UndeadRiot:** It'll be over by the time we find them.

_Chat Admin1 changed Liam's name to 🦇BatBoy_ 🦇

_Chat Admin1 changed YellowBoi's name to SHORTSHADOW_

_Chat Admin de-opped SHORTSHADOW_

**Medusa:** Looks like Damien won.

**🦇BatBoy🦇:** No. Change it right now. Being a vampire and associated with bats is completely unoriginal. I refuse to be put under the expectations of the mainstream audiences. My very fanbase would riot if I even used this emoji in one of my posts. This name completely undermines my whole existence!

**UndeadRiot:** I don't think anybody really cares, but if someone asks why don't you just say you're doing it ironically?

**🦇BatBoy🦇:**...What?

**UndeadRiot:** Just say that the reason that's your name is because your showcasing how stupid the original association of vampires and bats is. No harm no fowl right?

**🦇BatBoy🦇:** That's perfect! Why didn't I think of that?! It's the perfect mix of artistic views and condescension. I'm satisfying my followers while making those who follow the trend feel stupid!

**☆Sparky☆:** I didn't know you spoke Liam, Brian.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** That was like magic! You gotta teach me how to do that zombro! 🦇😆🦇🤯👏🦇😉🦇

**BlazinHot:** anybody notice Oz hasn't said anything

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** oh my fucking god he fucking ded

**SHORTSHADOW:** I am not dead. 

**Medusa:** Good. I am not helping Damien hide another student's body unless he pays me.

**UndeadRiot:** What

**HerMajesty:** What?

**☆Sparky☆:** What!?

**Medusa:** I was joking.

**Medusa:** Mostly

**☆Sparky☆:** What does that mean?!?!?

**BlazinHot:** It means you don't ask questions Vick

**Medusa:** Exactly

Oz pockets his own phone to avoid the double trouble duo. Oz watches as Damien does the same. 

"They're so alike sometimes it's scary," Oz states.

"Vera's always scary, but Amira's encouragement takes things to a whole different level," Damien agrees.

They both stay silent for a moment before Oz speaks up, "Has she actually helped you-"

"Do you actually want to know?" Damien interrupts.

Oz looks thoughtful for a moment, "No. I don't think so."

"That's what I thought," Damien pauses, "Wanna help me go destroy some crap that annoyed me?"

Oz sighs, "Sure."

\------------------------Extra--------------------------

"-so that's everything that happened today," Oz finishes as he dusts off the different rooms in the kitchen.

_"He literally fell on top of you!"_ Z'Gord squeals happily.

Oz stops what he's doing and sends the inconspicuous totem on the counter a glare, "Don't say what you're thinking. I already know how you think."

Over the past few days, Oz and Z'Gord have almost become like roommates. With Z'Gord being stuck in a totem all day with nothing to do, she always greets Oz when he comes home and they chat while he does chores. That's actually a new development as well. Just like Z'Gords emotional output increased inside the void, her range of talking with Oz has increased as well. They discussed why this was possible, but all they came up with is that they're both eldritch abominations so it's just something to do with that.

The totem shakes a little Z'Gord's version of a huff of amusement, "I don't get this stupid rationship stuff! You totally want to kiss him!"

Oz blushes dramatically, but laughs anyway to not give Z'Gord the satisfation of knowing he's flustered, "Z'Gord. I know that story was straight out of a bad anime, but you can't just assume two people like each other because of one interaction. For example, Miranda and Polly do not want to be together just because a moose-"

"What's an anime?" Z'Gord interrupts.

That's another new part of Oz's routine, the endless questions and curiosities. Z'Gord has been imprisoned for the last couple millennials, so she's very curious about how the world's come along. Oz swears she almost died when he showed her his smartphone for the first time.

"Well, broken down it's just Japanese cartoons, but that description doesn't really do it justice," Oz pauses for a moment to try and explain what the essence of anime is, "There's millions of different genres and they all are different in some way. They have all kinds, like romance, adventure, slice of life, just to name a few. Some are even based on mangas. I- uh don't know how to explain it better."

_"Why don't you just show me then?"_ Z'Gord suggests.

"...why didn't I think of that," Oz stops dusting and walks towards the living room, he snags Z'Gord's totem on the way out, "What do you wanna watch first?"

_"What do you have!?"_ Z'Gord's excitement only tends to fan the flames of Oz's nerdy fire.

"I usually delete the series once they're over because I never rewatch them, but I kept some," Oz sets the totem down on the couch then and grabs the remote, "I think I still have a couple adventure series though. Plus there was that one weird one Amira downloaded, where the entire show is a sex innuendo with flying robots. I don't know why I haven't deleted it yet. It's kinda dumb. Oh, and there's that fantasy highschool drama that Vicky demanded I download for her that she totally forgot. Which one sounds interesting?"

_"_ **_THE FANTASY HIGHSCHOOL DRAMA!"_ ** Oz flinches at the sudden assault on his mind and Z'Gord backtracks, _"Sorry! I want the highschool drama please!"_

Oz chuckles and pushes play on the TV as he excitedly sits down. It's been a while, actually scratch that, Oz has never had somebody as excited as Z'Gord to watch TV with. Time flies as they watch episode after episode of teen fantasy and apparently, romance.

Cue Z'Gord's endless objections about every character's love life, squeals of excitement at any physical contact, and the ultimate rants about the compatibility of mailman and the fast food employee, both of which were on the screen for less than five seconds and had no lines.

_"NO! Why won't they just realize how they feel and confess!"_

_"Don't ask him out Aoi! He's supposed to fall in love with his best friend!"_

_"They can't go to the play together and leave Makoto out! Wait, why are those_ _two_ _kissing?! They're both obviously meant to be with someone else!"_

_"Oz! Oz! Look at those two characters in the background! They totally love each other!"_

"Z'Gord, neither of them have met. How do you know?" Oz leans on his fist and humors the overly excited destroyer of worlds.

_"Well the first thing that tipped me off was that they both have similar phone cases the other five clues were-"_

Oz zones out as he glances at the clock. They've been at this for a couple of hours and Oz can't help feeling antsy. He's always down to watch some TV and relax, but he also wants to keep practicing his shapeshifting. Oz takes one look at Z'Gord's totem to see if she plans on stopping anytime soon and when it looks like she isn't, Oz decides he might as well just practice while they watch TV. They'll probably have to rewind the episode once she realizes that she's been talking the whole time anyways.


	27. First Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first big game of the Spooky High football team is happening soon. Vicky's preparing the signs for cheering. Amira's picking glitter out of her eyes, Brian's ready to play, and Oz is just along for the ride. How will the four friends day go when a certain someone gets dragged along for the ride in secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for uploading this chapter later than usual! I've been a bit busy and I ended up getting distracted. However, it's here now and I hope you enjoy it! Also, I reccomend reading the notes at the end.

More time passes as Oz and all his friends have adventure after adventure within the sacred walls of Spooky High. Soon enough, the first big football game of the season comes around the corner and Oz is stuck in the black hole of chaos known as Vicky when she's excited.

"OZ! I need more glitter for the victory banner!" Vicky opens the window in the kitchen and shouts.

"NO WE DON'T!" Amira shouts over her shoulder, "DO NOT GIVE HER MORE GLITTER, OR SO HELP ME I'LL-"

"Vicky, you only have enough glitter left for the bazookas," Oz cuts off whatever Amira was going to say as he hands Vicky another vat of confetti through the window.

Vicky pouts and sighs before mumbling under her breath, "I knew I should have bought extra."

"YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BOUGHT AS MUCH AS YOU DID IN THE FIRST PLACE VICK!" Amira throws her arms up behind Vicky on the other side of the window, "I'll be picking glitter off my face until I'm seventy after this!"

"Why do you think I made her do this outside instead of in the living room?" Oz deadpans Amira.

"Plus, we did try to warn you about carrying that tub outside by yourself," Brian adds, "It's your own fault it got dumped all over you."

Oz nods in agreement with Brian, to Amira's clear disapproval, "Why!? Why am I the crazy one when Vicky just used five industrial sized barrels of glitter to make a bunch of posters and banners?!"

"Because that's just how Vicky is," Oz shrugs.

"Yeah! I just make crazy work Amira!" Vicky pulls a cute pose and smiles as skips back over to the giant victory poster she's making for the big game tonight.

Oz shadow dumps outside and Amira just whips around and grabs him, "Why are we even doing this! It's the first game of the season!? Plus, Vera literally blackmailed the other team, they're going to let our team win! Why do we need to cheer when there's no chance of losing!"

"Because Vicky wants to show her support to the team," Brian answers, "And because she told the head cheerleader that she could encourage the football players better than anyone else."

Amira's face goes blank and she turns around to watch as Vicky continues painting on her many posters and signs, "Of course she did. How much do the cheerleaders hate you right now Vicky?"

Without looking away from her project Vicky reponds overy cheerily, "I think one of them has a voodoo doll of me that they stab repeatedly whenever I show up to the practices. Does that answer your question?"

Oz, Vicky, and Brian just stare at their friend. It's silent for a moment before Amira speaks up, "Sadly, it does."

"What did you do to make them hate you so much?" Oz wonders out loud.

"I don't know," Vicky's still too focused on her project to turn around, "Maybe it was when I accidentally hit the captain over the head with Brian's sign, or it was that one practice where I got out a megaphone and my shouts toppled the pyramid they were formed in. Oh, it could also be the fact that all the players rush up to me after practice instead of talking to the cheerleaders!"

"Huh, that would do it," Oz deadpans.

"Yeah, I'd go with option three," Brian shrugs, "Almost all the cheerleaders are only on the team to get closer to Scott or the wolf pack."

"You sure none of them are there for a certain zombie," Amira winks.

"Ha, ha, ha," Brian replies sarcastically, "But seriously, it's actually pretty funny watching them glare at Vicky whenever Scott hugs her."

"~Scott hugged Vicky," Amira teases, "Is there something you're not telling us Vick?"

"Scott hugs everybody," Oz raises an eyebrow at Amira who just sends an unimpressed stare back.

"Huh? What did you guys say?" Vicky finally looks in her friend's direction and whatever conversation they were having is derailed, "I zoned out after the whole cheerleaders hate me thing."

Amira devolves into a laughing fit and Brian snorts. Due to her energetic painting, Vicky's entire face, neck, and hands are covered in paint and other art supplies. It's a mystery how it happened, but she did somehow keep her clothes clean. Oz himself chuckles a little at the sight before leaving to retrieve a towel. She'll need one when her project's done.

Oz takes the long way around and walks into the kitchen through the back door. He grabs a couple of towels and runs them under the water faucet before wringing them out. If it were Amira or Brian, Oz would trust them to do it themselves, but the last time Oz trusted Vicky alone in the kitchen he had to buy new towels. His house was fireproof, but apparently not Vicky proof.

By the time Oz gets back outside, Amira's calmed down and looking in a hand mirror, Brian's started texting someone on his phone, and Vicky's gone back to working. 

"...so much fucking glitter," Amira mumbles as she tries to get the tiny sparkles off her face.

"I already told you I would be happy to get you an extra pair of clothes from your place and let you use my shower," Oz asks again.

"I already told you I'll be fine. The shower wouldn't get rid of any more of the stuff than what I've already got on me," Amira dismisses Oz's generous offer.

Oz would like to argue with that, but Amira goes back to trying to pick glitter off her face and neck before flicking it into her hair to be disposed of.

Brian lets out a huff of amusement that catches Oz's attention, "What's so funny?"

Without hesitation, Brian shows his phone to Oz to reveal a post from Liam. It's a very photogenic picture of a green cupcake with several different filters over it. The caption is, "Does perfection in itself not make not make imperfection? #Deep #Thinkaboutit #Artistic #Foodpic"

"What does that cupcake have to do with perfection?" Oz stares at the picture in confusion.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'm pretty sure Liam doesn't know how they're connected either," Brian zooms in on the photo a little and Oz looks closer.

Although the background is out of focus it's easy to tell that the brown and red blurs in the background are Scott and Damien. Scott's standing on a cafeteria table howling and Damien seems to be the one who incited his actions. Many other less important monsters rush around in a panic because of what looks to be a raging werebear. Oz can see the humor in that.

"Did he not realize they were in the background?"

"I doubt he would post it if he did," Brian moves his phone out of Oz's line of sight and continues to look through, what Oz can only assume, is Liam's blog.

"Is Liam coming to the game?" Oz asks curiously.

"He hates football so unless he has an ulterior motive, probably not," Brian acts unaffected but seems a little disappointed as he says this.

"He's friends with you and Scott. I'm sure he'll least come. He might be on the phone the whole time, but I bet he'll be there," Brian seems unimpressed by Oz's words.

"Well, Vera definitely won't be there," Amira jumps in, "She's got some type of 'business' meeting tonight she's attending."

"You texted her?" Oz asks curiously.

"Yeah, we were chatting about different ways to scam people online," Amira explains while still picking glitter off her face, "I prefer the old Nigerian Relative, but she leans toward old fake insurance."

Brian just raises an eyebrow and Oz tries to pretend he didn't just hear about how his friend scams people online, even though Oz is sure Amira's done worse.

Oz checks his watch to see how long they have until they have to be at the game. They have about ten minutes until they're late for them to get there twenty minutes early. Oz is usually the type to leave at the last second, him being able to practically teleport, but Vicky insisted on getting there extra  _ extra _ early for good seats. 

Apparently, despite the school being a breeding ground for chaos instead of education, the student body still supports the football team to an extreme extent. Of course, none of them are as supportive as Vicky. Speaking of the Frankenstein's monster, Oz walks up behind Vicky to tell her how much time they have left until they need to go.

However, Oz didn't get anything out before Vicky threw up her arms and cheered, "FINISHED! How does it look?! How does it look Oz?!"

Before Vicky slings her arm over Oz's shoulders, he thrusts the towel he got from the kitchen into her arms, "Clean up before you touch anybody. That paint is not washable.

"Fine," Vicky starts cleaning her face and arms before continuing, "You three need to tell me what you think about the signs and banner though."

"Okay then," Oz sighs and turns towards Vicky's masterpiece of a banner.

To say Oz was impressed would be an understatement. Don't get Oz wrong, he's seen tons of art in his lifetime, even made a few pieces on accident, but seeing so much glitter and color in one place was definitely new. 

"That's amazing Vicky," Oz says in awe.

Brian walks up and whistles, "Scott and the team are literally going to flip out when they see you made this for them."

"Aww, thanks," Vicky smiles ear to ear, "I'm glad you like!"

"Wow," Is all Amira says.

Vicky made two signs, one for Amira and on for herself. One had sparkly green glitter letters that cheered for Brian and the other had sparkly rainbow glitter letters meant to encourage Scott. However, those were not the main attraction.

The victory banner was made long enough for the entire football team to stand under comfortably. The same rainbow glitter letters on Scott's sign spell out 'YOU'RE WINNERS!' in big bold font. The most impressive part are the tiny glitter chibis of the football team running across the banner in victory. 

The tiny Scott is going long for a football as Brian runs in front of him. Oz looks over the different members of the wolf pack chibis to see the little shenanigans that Vicky depicted them doing. The only person Oz doesn't recognize is the green guy giving a thumbs up from next to the exclamation point.

Oz points them out and tilts his head curiously, "Who's that?"

Amira snaps out of her stupor and follows Oz's finger, "Oh, huh... Who  _ is _ that?"

Vicky looks confused, "That's Kale! You guys haven't met him?"

When Amira and Oz shake their heads Brian speaks up, "He's one of the best players on the team when he wants to be out on the field, but Kale usually isn't that high energy. Coach might encourage competitiveness and exercise, but he pretty much let's Kale skip practice whenever he wants because...well… I don't really know. It's not my business."

"Yeah! Kale is great!" Vicky continues, "He's nice! Or at least from what I've seen. I only talked to him once when he asked why I come to all the practices."

"Good on you then," Brian chuckles, "I haven't talked to him at all."

"Well, if you two think he's nice then I hope to meet him," Oz nods to himself.

Calm and unchaotic people are a dying species at Spooky High, so Oz tries to seek them out and befriend them. Which is actually kinda hard when you're known for starting a war in the baking club and being friends with the most destructive demon in school. Yeah, Oz has a fun life.

"He actually kinda reminded me of Oz when we first met," Vicky says thoughtfully.

"Really?" Amira raises an eyebrow, "Does Kale have a demon wrapped around his finger too?"

Ignoring Oz's flustered glance at Amira, Vicky shakes her head, "He just gave off that lovable dork vibe."

"Lovable dork?" Oz parrots with a mix of confusion and curiosity.

"Yeah! You're totally the lovable dork of the group," Vicky finishes wiping her face with the towels and throws them to the ground before wrapping her arms around Oz's neck, "Y'know, like Amira's the badass, Brian's the calm one, I'm the cute one, and your the dorky one."

"I don't think one word can describe our entire group," Oz voices his doubts.

"Well no, but I think as a generalization it works!" Vicky lets go of Oz's neck before thrusting one of the signs into his arms, "But enough chit chat! We need to get going right?!"

Oz nods once and Vicky rushes to grab her other sign to give to Brian. He takes it willingly. Vicky starts to roll up the giant banner and the sticks attached when Oz grabs Brian and pushes him backwards. Faster than the human eye can see, Brian disappears through his own shadow and reappears next to the football field on the ground. Before Oz can do the same to Amira, she gives him the glare of a lifetime. 

"Don't you dare push me into the ground again," Amira hisses, "That's your warning."

Oz approaches Amira awkwardly after that and places a hand on her upper forearm before lightly shoving her. Instead of falling backwards, Amira stumbles. However, it's just enough for her own shadow to suck her into the void. Amira actually ends up landing on her feet next to Brian, even if said landing was a bit unstable.

"Are you ready to go yet Vicky?" Oz turns around to watch as Vicky somehow manages to shove a confetti bazooka into her normal school backpack before grabbing it and slinging it over her shoulder.

"Almost. I just need to grab my megaphone and you can help me get the banner under the bleachers," Vicky walks across the back lawn and grabs her megaphone off the ground.

"Why don't you just put that in your bag so you can get a better grip on the banner?" 

"Pft, I don't have room for a megaphone in my backpack!" Vicky laughs.

Oz wants to point out that it's the only thing she has that should fit in her backpack, but decides to just shrug it off. He's got a totem that holds one of the most powerful beings in the universe, one endless backpack is normal compared to that.

Oz walks over to one end of the banner to lift and Vicky goes to the other end. Vicky hooks her arm under the banner and starts lifting. Oz starts doing the same and they make it about four feet before Vicky stops.

"Oz! I left my other bag inside!" Vicky sounds panicked, "It has the illumination potion I tricked the Coven into making!"

Correction, it's the illumination potion Oz asked the Coven to make. They only agreed because they had an old one laying around that they needed to get rid of. The potion is just splashed on an object and then said object will stay completely visible in the dark for seven hours. With the game starting right around sunset, Vicky will use that time to make her banner glow like the stars and beat everybody else's signs in the attention department. Well, if anyone else even made signs.

"Don't worry about it Vicky. I'll get it once we send this-" Oz nods his head at the banner in his hand, "-and you to the football field."

"Are you sure?" Vicky asks concerned, "We can just put this down and I can go grab the bag real quick."

"You only have two arms. How would that work?" Oz questions.

"Forgot about that," Vicky sighs then looks forward, "Okay, let's get this thing through then you can go grab that."

Vicky and Oz continue moving the banner until they reach the giant shadow of the oak tree in Oz's back yard. Oz waits until Vicky's standing all the way in the tree's shadow before asking if she's ready. 

"Ready as I'll ever be!" Vicky replies while holding the back of the pole up.

Oz takes that as a yes and sets his side down. Said end of the pole starts to fall before the rest suddenly drops and Vicky's pulled into the void because of her grasp on the pole. At the football field, Vicky slides down the pole that landed exactly upright. Brian and Amira stare at her, somewhat impressed.

Once Vicky's gone, Oz shadow jumps directly into his living room before looking for Vicky's bag. After two minutes of searching, Oz realizes that Vicky must have left her bag somewhere totally random and not where it's supposed to be. To find it faster, Oz calls up about two dozen phobias and releases their small forms across the apartment. It takes about thirty seconds after that for Sclererophobia to find the bag and mentally alert Oz of its location.

Oz walks into the hallway and grabs Vicky's bag from the corner it got thrown in. Right before Oz leaves, he remembers to say goodbye to Z'Gord. She stays silent when Oz has anybody over just in case her newfound telepathy isn't just connected to Oz. Although it's just for precaution since Oz is almost absolutely sure that it only works for him. Eldritch abominations, am I right?

"See you after the football game Z'Gord," Oz projects through his home.

_ "U-Uh...s-see you l-later!"  _ Z'Gord sounds worried and almost guilty.

Z'Gord's behavior immediately sets Oz on alert, "Are you alright? What's wrong? Where are you?"

_ " _ **_I'M FINE_ ** _! I-I mean I'm fine! Right where you left me!"  _ Z'Gord stutters like a nervous child,  _ "In your room! In the magic duffel bag! Riiiiiiight where you left me!"  _

Oz wants to question Z'Gord more thoroughly, but he's running short on time. Vicky and Brian will need help getting the banner under the bleachers and if Oz isn't there they'll just start without him. In a moment of terrible judgment, Oz ignores his gut feeling.

"Alright then, I'll be going," Oz tries to sound more sure of himself than he is, "See you later."

_ "Y-Yep! L-Later!"  _ Z'Gord replies. 

Oz hesitates for another moment before shadow jumping directly under the football field's bleachers. Vicky, Brian, and Amira are already there and are arguing about where the banner should be kept until after the game. Other than the banner that's been dropped in favor of arguing, the ground under the bleachers is littered with old trash, assorted bones, and what looks to be a bag of mariujuana. 

"What are you guys arguing about now," Oz sighs.

Vicky's the first to turn to Oz and the moment she spots him words are flowing out of her mouth, "You got my backpack right? Actually, don't answer that. I can see you have it. Set it down and come over here and tell Amira that we're putting the banner as close to the football field and entrance as possible."

"If you put it next to the entrance it'll be out in the open to see and stick out like a sore thumb!" Amira counters, "If you want to keep it a surprise you should put it in the middle where people are more likely to not see it or think it's just trash!"

"But if it's in the middle people might drop snacks on it or something!"

Brian tries to mediate,"Does it really matter where we-"

Both Vicky and Amira cut him off, "Of course it matters!"

The girls continue bickering and Brian sends him a 'please help me' look. Oz nods once before looking around under the bleachers for the perfect place that takes in both the girls' concerns. He spots said place and quickly thinks up a case for his idea.

"How about we don't put it in either of those places?" Oz suggests.

Amira and Vicky pause for a moment and look to Oz skeptically, "What do you mean?"

"Well, if we put it over there," Oz points across at an empty spot across from them, "It's in the shade, so I can get it out quickly for Vicky to put it up. It's also far enough for people to look over it."

Vicky doesn't look satisfied, "But what if other people drop soda or-" 

"Vicky. You made that thing strong enough to survive getting nuked," Brian jumps in, "It's not going to stain."

"But what if-" Vicky tries to protest again.

"We can just sit above where we set the banner on the bleachers so you can keep an eye on people," Oz suggests.

Vicky stops and nods, "That should work."

With an agreement being made, all three friends pick the large banner up and set it down in the spot Oz suggested. Once Vicky is happy with the location, Oz retrieves her other backpack, which he set down earlier, and places it next to the wooden poles of the banner. He doesn't realize the bag is unzipped allowing anybody to see in, or anything to look out.

With the banner set in place, the three friends head out from under the bleachers to claim their seats and wait for the game to start. The only people there so early are the Coach, the cheerleaders, and surprisingly, Miranda.

The moment the mermaid princess notices the group, she smiles and waves politely. Oz might have thought it was cute if it weren't for the serfs fighting to the death with swords in front of her.

"Oh! Hello friends!" Miranda stands up, puts her hand up to stop the fighting serfs, and walks over to the group very gracefully, "I thought I was the only one who was going to come! Nobody else has been even relatively punctual in their arrival."

"What are you talking about?" Vicky curiously asks, "It's about a half hour till the game's supposed to start. Did you not know?"

Miranda looks surprised, "But, my time keeping serf said that the game started now."

"Well, they must have got the time wrong," Vicky shrugs, "I have all the team's practices, games, and meetings on my phone, so I'm 99.99% sure the game is supposed to start later."

Miranda looks thoughtful before her face scrunches up into a frown. Miranda claps once and a penguin in glasses comes out of nowhere.

"Rolfe. Why am I being told that the game isn't now when you told me it was?" Miranda sounds annoyed.

"I'm sorry your highness, my original schedule for today was burned in the incident at lunch by your friend Damien. When I rewrote it, I must have put the wrong time," The tiny penguin explains while fearfully waddling in place.

Oz has lots of questions about this interaction. Why does a penguin need glasses? How did a penguin write with flippers? Why is Miranda's time serf a penguin in the first place? And how does it even talk? However, none of these questions are answered.

"So you're telling me it is your fault I'm here so early!" Miranda gasps, "How could you mess up my usually perfect timing! Don't you know it's rude to show up to an event  _ too  _ early!"

The two serfs that were fighting earlier are sweating profusely and Oz can feel their terror from here. If Oz was them, and wasn't immortal, he would be scared too. Miranda has a habit of mercilessly killing her serfs when she wants something, is annoyed, is happy, is sad, and pretty much every other time she's awake.

However, Vicky seems oblivious to the tension and pulls her blue back pack off her shoulder and starts rifling through it. She pulls out a stack of stapled papers and walks up to penguin and Miranda.

"Here mister penguin!" Vicky leans down and hands him the papers, "That's the paper copy of the football team's games! You shouldn't mess up the time again with that!"

Miranda watches the interaction in what seems to be confusion, "What are you doing?"

Vicky stands back up and smiles at Miranda, "I didn't want the little penguin to mess up on you again so I gave him that. It's practically impossible to make a mistake with that."

Miranda still looks confused, "But he already confused the times. The only to keep him from developing bad habits is to give him to Daddy! He always replaces disobedient serfs."

The penguin seems to start tearing up in pure terror. Are penguins supposed to even be able to cry?

"But Miranda! Look at how cute the little guy is! He's got tiny glasses and everything! Could you replace that!" Vicky continues. 

Somehow, despite the impending threat of doom, the penguin manages to blush at Vicky's compliment. 

"Hmm… Most of the serfs Daddy gives me do have scars and physical mutations from torture, and Rolfe is very cute," Miranda looks thoughtful, "As long as he doesn't let his own problems get involved with his job again, I may as well keep him."

Miranda claps again, and the tiny penguin seems to sag in relief before waddling away as quickly as possible. Miranda then smiles and turns back to the three monsters.

"Well, I might be here exceptionally early, but at least I'm not alone now," Miranda smiles like she wasn't just about to send someone to death, "I was so terribly bored I had to ask these two serfs to fight for entertainment. I don't even like watching fights! That's how lonely I was."

"Oh…uh… wow," Amira doesn't seem to know how to respond, "...you were really, really bored."

"I was!" Miranda claps her hands again and the two serfs that were fighting earlier rush away, "But now you're here! Actually, why are you here?"

Instead of answering, Vicky pulls two confetti bazookas out of her bag and duel wields them while Amira points to the two signs leaning against the bleachers.

"Oh, are you a part of the Spooky High cheer squad?" Miranda tilts her head and sets her index finger on her chin.

"Nope!" Vicky pops the 'p' and smiles, "I just wanna support my friends and cheer them into winning!"

"Vicky!" Oz turns his head just in time to see Scott bounding around the corner towards their group.

"Scott!" Vicky waves to the excited werewolf as he bounds up to her, "Are you ready to play?!"

"YEAH! I'm gonna go out there and have fun! Oh, and win!" The last part is added on like an afterthought.

"I know you will Scott, and I'll cheer you on the way," Vicky states with stars in her eyes.

"Wait!" Scott suddenly completely stills, "Did you make another sparkly sign?!"

Vicky rushes past Scott and to the bleachers behind him to grab her newly made signs, "I don't know?! What do you think?!"

Scott stares at Vicky for a moment in silence then, "I think you made two!"

"You bet I did!" Vicky grins, "Oh, oh, and look at what else I got!"

Scott steps forward and watches as Vicky shows her the different stuff she bought specifically for cheering the team on. Oz turns back to Miranda to see her chatting with Amira. Brian seems to have just ignored the interaction entirely and has earbuds on in the bleachers. 

With nothing to do and nobody to talk to without interrupting, Oz finds the spot above Vicky's banner to sit and relax in until either the game starts or someone interacts with him. Not five minutes later and the second option is put into effect.

One of the cheerleaders walks up to the bleachers and sits right next to Oz. Now Oz might not be the absolute best person with social cues, but he can confidently say that you don't sit next to a single person with an entire set of empty bleachers next to them, unless you want to talk to said person.

"So, what are you doing all alone, handsome?" Oz looks up to make eye contact with the same succubus that harassed him at Polly's party a couple of weeks ago, "What's that look for? I believe we've already met once before.

"U-uh hi," Oz stutters out, "You're A-Avery, right?"

Avery smirks and her wings flash out a bit, "It's good to know I left such an impression that you remember me."

Oz would like to point out that it was not a good impression, but stays quiet. He glances past the succubus to see if Brian, Vicky, or Amira are close enough to get him out of this. Of course, with Oz's luck, Brian and Scott had to leave to get ready for the game, and the girls are gushing about glitter or something nowhere near him.

At least when Oz talks to Avery this time he doesn't have to keep his eyes continuously glued to her eyes. She's wearing one of the cheer uniforms and the only thing revealing about them are the slightly shorter than normal skirts. It's much more modest than the lecherous attire she had at the party.

"However, I'd like to say sorry for the last time we met," Avery continues.

Oz relaxes just a tiny bit at that. Maybe he misjudged the succubus. That hope is gone the moment Oz makes eye contact with her. Oz knows what apologetic looks like and he knows that is not it. Avery has the look of a tiger hunting prey. 

"I didn't mean to attract your friend's attention," Avery continues with a genuine look of regret, "If I had acted quicker, we could have finished before he showed up. Will you let me make it up to you sweet stuff?"

The nickname makes Oz want to gag, but he masks his emotions well enough that Avery doesn't notice.

"Um… n-no thank you," Oz puts his hands up to try and convey the fact that he is not up for whatever Avery has in mind.

"Hmm?" Avery scoots closer to Oz and leans forward, "Are you playing hard to get now?"

"I...uh… don't know if this is how you act all the time, but I really d-don't want whatever you're trying to-" 

"Is it my form? So sorry about that, I can never get the proper read on monsters," Avery cuts Oz off and her hair, eyes, skin change colors, along with her face changing shape, "Is this better?"

Avery gets closer yet again and her hands move forwards on the bench. Oz backs up a little and a flash of annoyance passes through Avery's eyes. It's so fast that Oz isn't even sure if it was there in the first place.

"~Come on! Don't be shy!" Avery throws her wings out to shield anybody from seeing the two and places a hand on Oz's chest, "If you're embarrassed, don't worry. I know how to keep things private."

As Avery gets closer, Oz prepares to shut her down… hard. The first time he was too panicked to think, but now that he's at least relatively calm, he needs to make it abundantly clear he's not interested. 

"L-Look, I don't-" 

_ "T-That bitch!  _ **_HE'S NOT FOR YOU!_ ** _ " _ There's a booming voice in Oz's head that he recognizes as a certain eldritch abomination that shouldn't be at Spooky High.

"...Z'Gord?" Oz says to the familiar presence.

_ "...oops,"  _ Is the only response.

Avery is still staring at Oz intensely. Oz's own gaze hardens as he looks back at Avery.

"I don't like you like that," Oz says plainly, "I'm sorry but I need to go."

Oz gets up to walk away, when Avery grabs his hand and leans against him, "Where do you need to go when what you need is right here?"

Oz barely gives Avery a glance, "I'm really sorry, but I need to go. I really don't appreciate whatever this is either."

Instead of letting go, Avery tries to dive in for a kiss. On instinct, Oz falls through his own shadow and appears behind the succubus. If Oz wasn't so worried about a world destroying creature being released at that moment he probably would have been freaking out at the fact Avery had tried to forcefully kiss him. However, Oz needed to make sure the world wasn't in any direct danger and that took precident.

Because Avery had her entire weight supported on Oz, when he disappeared, she fell off the bleachers into an ungraceful heap on the ground. Oz spares one quick glance to make sure she's alright before rushing down the bleachers in the opposite direction. At this point, the sun is setting and various students are finally beginning to arrive as the football team gets ready to play.

Oz focuses on speaking to a single entity and searches for his target, "Z'GORD! Where are you?"

_ "...If I tell you where I'm at will you let me watch the game?"  _ Z'Gord responds shyly _. _

Oz actually facepalms, "That's why you were acting so weird earlier! You somehow snuck your way out of my home to watch a football game?! Why?! You even said you don't like sports!"

_ "...Well, the real show is your friends,"  _ Z'Gord replies shyly before getting excited,  _ "Did you see Brian with that vampire! I think it was the 'Liam' you were talking about! Oh, and I saw this blue demon with a half monster girl and then there was this ghost that looked at another ghost and I think it was love at-" _

"You snuck to the football game to ship my friends?!" Oz asks in exasperation.

_ "Ship?"  _ Z'Gord asks curiously.

"I asked a-" Oz sighs, "I'll tell you what a ship is and let you watch my friends from a hidden location if you tell me where you're at." 

_ " _ **_DEAL!_ ** _ "  _ Z'Gord agrees in excitement, "I'm in Vicky's bag under the bleachers!"

Oz starts speed walking back towards the bleachers, "How did you even end up in there?"

_ "Two of your little friends put my totem in the bag when you let them all out to look for Vicky's bag,"  _ Z'Gord says quickly.

Even without his phobias not being out, Oz can feel the set of chuckles from Scelerophobia and Carcerophobia inside his void. Oz reminds himself to address those two problem children later.

As the sun continues to dip and the lights around the football field get turned on, Oz rushes under the bleachers and grabs the totem from Vicky's backpack. The tiny wings on the totem flap once and the three eyes shine a little brighter than normal. Those two signs and the immediate sense of excitement from Z'Gord are proof of how happy she is.

_ "Now you've got to tell me what a-"  _ Z'Gord stops suddenly,  _ "Demon alert!" _

Oz spins around while hiding the totem behind his back expecting Dahlia or some minor demon, but he sighs in relief when it's just Damien. He could trust him.

"What the fuck are you doing under the bleachers when the game's about to start," Damien immediately growls once he's in earshot. He eyes Oz and notices he's hiding something, "And what trouble are you getting into this time."

_ "He's just like you said he was!"  _ Z'Gord gushes,  _ "Seeing him in person I think you totally got his horns and tail right back at your house. They're almost copies of-" _

_ "Shhh!"  _ Oz blushes as Z'Gord talks about his latest project. He appreciates her input, but now is not the time.

_ "Heh, sorry…"  _ Z'Gord is not sorry for her actions.

Damien just stares at Oz in confusion as he stays silent for longer than normal, "Ozzie? Are you alright?"

_ "HE CALLED YOU  _ **_OZZIE_ ** _! YOU DIDN'T SAY HE CALLED YOU OZZIE!"  _ Z'Gord's totem starts vibrating in his hand and the sound is  _ very  _ audible.

Damien's face goes pink when he hears the sound and assumes the worst, "Are you really-!? SHIT, why would you do  _ that _ under the bleachers?! There's literally twenty-three other places that are actually sound proof in this school!"

When Oz realizes what Damien thinks the totem is, Oz freaks out. He didn't know it was possible to be so embarrassed in a single moment. 

Oz immediately pulls the totem out from behind his back and starts word vomiting, "It'snotwhatitlookslike. Remember when I told you about the Z'Gord that was the destroyer of millions that got locked in a totem? Turns out that the cat person in the cafeteria was selling the totem for a couple of bucks and I couldn't let somebody else buy it and accidentally destroy the universe, so I got it. I put it in the void but Z'Gord's able to talk to me through telepathy too, probably because we're both ancient beings, and it was annoying. Because of that I decided to take her out and we ended up bonding over the fact we've both kinda been lonely for centuries. We've been living together for a few weeks, and my phobias snuck her to the football game. I ducked under here to talk to her be she warned me you showed up by just saying you were a demon. I didn't know it was you so I hid the totem behind me and whatitlookslikedefinatelyisn'twhat'shappeneing!"

"Can you repeat that?" Damien asks eyeing the totem in Oz's hands, "Slower this time."

Oz rushes through his story again at a slower pace. While he's talking, cheers ring out above them, as the football game starts.

Once Oz is done with his story, Damien stares at him then at the totem. Said totem takes it's moment to let out an unearthly rumble while a single blood tear falls from one of its eyes. Damien sets his hands on his face and wishes he could just fucking scream. Why did he jump to conclusions all the time?! 

"Uh, Dames?" Oz takes a step towards the demon.

_ "YOU CALL HIM DAMES?! WHY WAS I NOT- _ " Oz tunes Z'Gord out in favor of talking to Damien.

Damien removes his hands from his face and his ears are still pink, "Sorry for just fucking assuming something like that."

"U-uh, it's alright?" Oz blushes again, "I just wasn't expecting you to come to  _ that _ conclusion. I-I just panicked and-"

"Can we just forget that ever happened?"

"Yeah sure, let's just…  _ not _ bring that conversation up ever again," Oz blushes a little again just thinking about the insinuation.

"So…" Damien points at the totem, "There's a monster born to destroy the entire world in there?"

"Well, she wasn't as much born as she was ripped from the fabric of reality itself and animated with equal parts raw malice and the concept of despair, but yes, basically," Oz nods once.

"And you're not releasing it on the world for what reason?" Damien asks seriously.

"Damien. I am not releasing Z'Gord to destroy the entirety of the mortal realm," Oz levels a disapproving stare at Damien.

"I was joking!" Damien tries.

"No you weren't."

"No I wasn't," Damien shrugs and nods his head, "I'm just saying, the number of things I would want to save in the world could all probably fit in one room in hell. I would enjoy watching everything else burn."

"Really?" Oz asks, "Let me guess, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, your motorcycle, some explosives, your knife collection, and-"

"I'm not that fucking shallow," Damien punches Oz in the arm playfully and interrupts him.

"Really?" Oz chuckles, "Then what would you take?"

"Well, you were right about my knife collection," Damien actually looks thoughtful, "But I'd also bring my friends, eternity alone would be boring as hell, my dads, cause they're my dads, and I guess I'd have to bring the damn Loser Gang too cause you'd be all sad without them. That's what… twelve people? That's plenty. Everyone else can die or whatever else ends up happening to them."

"Well, I for one, am honored to be included in your safe group in case you ever actually decide to destroy the world," Oz pauses, "Which is a possibility knowing you."

"Whatever, you're just lucky you're useful," Damien jokes.

"Sure, yeah. That's the only reason you keep me around," Oz rolls his eyes.

"HEY, don't get cocky just because-" Oz doesn't hear the rest of what Damien says as the crowd let's out another huge cheer for something happening on the field.

Once the crowd, and Vicky, calm down, Oz speaks up, "We should probably get out there so we can see what's happening."

"Yeah, that's a deacent idea I guess," Damien grumbles.

"Well, do you know anywhere where I can set this-" Oz gestures to the totem that starts to convulse and shift in anticipation, "-where nobody will mess with it and Z'Gord can see the bleachers?"

"Pft, you ask like you thought I wouldn't know," Damien reaches over and ruffles Oz's hair in a spur of the moment decision.

Damien doesn't know what he expected when he touched Oz's hair but it wasn't this. His hair was softer and fluffier than anything Damien's ever touched before. In the back of his mind Damien wonders if Oz made it that way on purpose.

Damien can't help the bit of surprise that leaks into his voice when he continues talking, "Wow… umm, P-Polly scouted the whole damn school for places to hide drugs on the first day. I know some of her spots."

Oz tenses for a second in surprise at the demon's sudden touching before he melts into it just a little bit, "Okay then, lead the way."

Damien takes his hand off of Oz's head regretfully, and leads Oz to one of said locations. Turns out, the one light on the field that doesn't work has been hollowed out by one of the previous classes of Spooky High. It even had a grate on it so Z'Gord could see out of it, but nobody could see in. 

"Wow, this is literally perfect," Oz sets the totem into the spot and closes the hiding spot, "How are you doing in there Z'Gord?"

_ "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE BEEN IGNORING ME! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR BEING ALL CUTE WITH YOUR DAMIEN! YOU TWO ARE THE CUTEST! OMG! PLEASE JUST KISS HIM ALREADY!"  _

Oz can literally feel his cheeks heat up, "Z'Gord stop it! I asked if you were okay with your spot!"

_ "Oh I'm fine if you exclude the fact that I'm freaking out about you two together! YOUR OZZIE AND DAMES! It's so cute!"  _ Z'Gord won't stop gushing.

Oz tries to think of some way to calm her down before they leave, that's when he remembers he never told Z'Gord what a ship was, "Hey Z'Gord. Will you calm down if I told you what a ship was? That was our deal earlier, right?"

Z'Gord immediately goes from shouting to quietly waiting, _ "...yes _ ." 

"A ship is when you think two people would be really great in a romantic relationship and you push for them to get together," Oz explains and the moment the words leave his mouth, the eldritch abomination feels like he doomed the universe.

_ "...so if I think that Naruto and Garfield would be adorable together it would be a ship?!"  _ Z'Gord says curiously.

Oz stays silent for a moment, "Yes...but please don't-"

_ "I HAVE SO MANY SHIPS TO MAKE!"  _ Z'Gord devolves into a muttering mess that causes her totem to start dripping black goo.

"Is the bitch in the totem dying or something," Damien asks curiously.

"No," Oz sighs, "She's just excited. It's best to leave her when she's like this."

"Wanna head back to the bleachers and get a seat then," Damien points behind him with his thumb, "Unless you want to sit with the fucking Loser Gang."

Oz looks over Damien's shoulder to see Vicky waving her sign and screaming louder than the cheerleaders, Amira waving her sign so hard it hits the Slayer in the face, and Miranda sitting between them demanding her serfs to also cheer. Eh, Oz would just be a third wheel to that. He's not needed until the game's been won.

"I'll sit with you," Oz answers.

Damien smirks arrogantly, "Good choice."

Damien grabs Oz's elbow and leads him over to the bleachers where Liam is sitting. It's obvious he's watching the game despite him pretending to be on his phone. Oz can't wait to tell Brian that Liam did come to watch him play.

Damien plops down a few feet away from Liam, and Oz sits beside him. He glances at the football field and Spooky High is winning by a landslide. Oz only knows that because of the scoreboard though. Truthfully, Oz doesn't think him, Damien, or Liam actually know how football works. 

Liam spares them a glance, "So you ran off earlier because you saw your friend, Damien? That would have been good to know before you sprinted off."

"It's not your damn buisness where I am all the time," Damien rolls his eyes, "Your not one of my fucking dads."

"Fair enough," Liam nods, "I didn't really care anyways."

Liam focuses back on his phone without another word. It's as if he's disregarding everyone else exists entirely, which is actually on point for him. Oz catches a glimpse of what Liam's doing and it actually looks like he's recording the game. Is he planning on uploading it online? That doesn't seem like Liam's thing. Plus, he's not even videoing the ball he's just following Brian around on the field. Before Oz can ask, the phone is out of his line of sight when Liam shifts in his seat. Oz decides it's probably better if he doesn't know and focuses on Damien.

It was fun sitting next to the red demon because unlike all the other students, instead of cheering when something good would happen, Damien would only cheer if somebody got tackled… hard. Oz would cheer with him, but his way of speech would probably just confuse the football players more than encourage them.

Once football gets boring, Oz finds his attention drawn to the cheering war going on between the actual Spooky High cheerleaders and Amira, Miranda, and Vicky. The cheerleaders try some complicated routine, only for Miranda to order her serfs to copy it while Vicky cheers and occasionally sets off one of her confetti bazookas. At some point, half of the students in the audience do the same thing and the football game has a mini cheer-off going on. It's as Oz watches the cheerleaders that he realizes who the captain of the squad is. 

"Wait a fucking second," Damien follows Oz's gaze, "Is that the whore that assaulted you at Polly's party during the first week a school?! She's the damn cheer captain?!"

"It looks like it," Oz nods, "I guess her wings do give her more mobility. Bet it comes in handy for flipping in the air and stuff like that."

"Whatever," Damien rolls his eyes, "If that slut comes near me or you again I'll give her two black eyes and clip her chicken wings."

Oz decides to keep his mouth shut about Avery's earlier harassment to save her life. Oz can't help but think she better not make him regret staying quiet.

The football game continues until there's about five minutes before the game ends and Spooky High has literally no way of losing. It's when Brian makes another touchdown that Damien something else interesting happens.

It startles Oz when something starts looping around his waist, so he looks down to see Damien's tail curl snugly around him. Oz looks up and just like the last two times this happened, Damien doesn't seem to notice. A type of determination settles in Oz's eyes. The same thing  _ has _ happened twice before, but this time, Oz has a plan. 

Oz confidanly taps Damien on the shoulder and gains his attention, "Your tail."

Damien's looks down at Oz's waist, and his face goes the same shade of pink it has the last two times this happened. Damien starts to retract his tail before Oz stops him by placing a hand on the top of the partially unfurled appendage.

"Why does this bother you so much?" Oz asks genuinely, "I already told you it doesn't bother me."

Damien's face turns even pinker when Oz grabs his tail and he seems to be trying to come up with response, "I don't wanna fucking creep you out or anything because I can't keep track of my own damn tail."

"Would you be creeped out if I did something like that to you?" Oz asks dead seriously.

"Well no-" Damien starts to get confused at the questioning as he glances back down to where Oz is holding his tail, "But it's not like you could-"

"Yes I could," Oz interrupts.

Damien looks even more confused, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Without responding Oz focuses on his form and watches as Damien's eyes blow wide. In a matter of seconds Oz has a completely black tail and set of horns. Oz's brand new tail wraps around Damien's calf and Oz tilts his head.

"Are you creeped out?" Oz prompts Damien to respond.

However, instead of responding, Damien stares at Oz with a look of utter bewilderment for at least thirty seconds straight. The lack of response immediately drains all the confidence Oz had when he enacted on his half-baked plan.

"I'm sorry. That was so stupid. I was just trying to make you comfortable with your tail and I thought it would be the best way to show you that I'm fine with- Gah!" Oz gets cut off when Damien grabs one of his horns and yanks on it.

"Holy fucking hell! They're actually real?!" Damien lets go and of Oz's new horns, "How did you pull this off?!"

"T-The last time you did this with your tail I decided I wanted to make you comfortable with it," Oz stutters out his explanation, "I-I thought this would be the best way to go about it." 

Oz takes his hand away from Damien's tail without him noticing and the extra appendage immediately retakes it's spot around Oz's waist.

"How long did it take you to figure this out?" Damien pokes at the tail on his calf to find that, yes, it's real too, "You look like a real demon!"

Oz laughs awkwardly and suddenly looks around to see if anyone's looking at him and his new form. In retrospect it probably wasn't the best idea to do this in the middle of a crowd. Lucky for him, everybody's too focused on the game to care about what Oz's doing. 

Oz returns his attention to Damien and answers his question, "I-It only took a couple weeks of practice."

"A couple weeks?!" Damien growls, "And you did all of that just so you could make me feel comfortable around my own tail?!"

Sure, Damien wasn't actually insecure about his tail, but that doesn't mean he didn't appreciate Oz going through a lot of trouble to help Damien when he thought he did.

"Yes?" Oz doesn't know how to respond.

"You are so weird Ozzie," Damien smiles, "I can't fucking believe you did that just for me."

"I-I just didn't want you to be bothered by it and freak out everytime it happens," Oz grows a little more confident as he jokes, "Plus, if you stop doing this with your tail, how am I supposed to know you like me?"

"Because I openly hang out with you like all the fucking time," Damien deadpans.

"Well, yeah, I can also tell when you do that," Oz agrees cheekily.

Oz focuses again and his tail and horns slowly disappear. Damien seems a little disappointed that they're gone, but doesn't say anything.

"So, was that convincing enough?" Oz asks, "I know I've said it at least twice already, but I really hate you not being comfortable with your tail."

Damien thinks about Oz's statement, really thinks about it. Does it really matter that he doesn't know what causes his tail to do this? He can't lie and say he hates it because he doesn't. Everytime this has happened so far, Damien's been in a good mood. Watching TV at Oz's house, relaxing with his friends in the auditorium, and now, watching a football game with his best friend. Oz specifically said he didn't care about it too didn't he? Maybe Damien can just let himself have this.

"...fine," Damien finally responds in a grumble, "But if it starts getting annoying, you better tell me."

"I will," Oz was ecstatic that his plan worked.

Perfectly timed to the end of their conversation, the crowd bursts into loud cheers as time runs out and the game is officially over. Oz and Vicky, despite the chaos of excited students, somehow make eye contact. They both nod once.

"You're gonna want to watch this Damien," Oz nods his head in Vicky's direction as he drops the victory banner and other bag through the shadows under the bleachers.

Damien seems relatively interested as the banner pops out of Vicky's shadow and straight up into the air, before Amira steadys it and they start unrolling it. For having no practice whatsoever, the two do this flawlessly. Once the banner two poles have been firmly placed in the ground, Vicky tosses Amira a confetti bazooka before splashing the potion in her backpack all over the banner. 

The magic takes effect and the tiny chibi football team lights up like a neon sign and sparkles. The sudden bright light catches most of the students attention along with the football team. The cheerleaders, Avery especially, just glare. Vicky, Amira, and the newest member of the unofficial cheer Spooky High cheer squad, Miranda, aren't done yet. Miranda claps twice over the cheer of the crowd and her serfs all start a complicated acrobatics routine while Amira and Vicky pull the trigger on their respective confetti bazookas. The entire bleachers are suddenly rained on by confetti.

Vicky pulls out her megaphone and shouts as loud as she can, "YOU GUYS WON! THE SPOOKY HIGH FOOTBALL TEAM IS THE BEST!"

At this point the football players are going ballistic on the field. Scott's jumping up and down tail wagging, the wolf pack is actually howling, and Brian's smiling and shaking his head. Even Coach is smiling ear to ear at Vicky's show. 

Oz looks back at Damien to find him only looking mildly impressed as he burns some of the confetti raining from the sky with one hand, and brushing some more out of his hair, "Could use some fire."

Oz rolls his eyes and playfully punches him in the shoulder, "Be nice! Vicky worked hard on this!"

Damien notices the confetti stuck in Oz's hair and sighs as he reaches up get it out, "Whatever, I guess her fucking banner and crap was impressive."

"See? It's not that hard to be nice!" Oz chuckles as Damien ruffles his hair yet again.

Z'Gord watches from her post and giggles to herself maniacally _.  _ So many _ ships _ , SHIPS,  **SHIPS,** **_SHIPS_ ** !

\-----------------------Extra--------------------------

"No."

_ "Please!" _

"No."

_ "I won't cause trouble! I promise!" _

"Fine."

_ "Really?!" _

"No."

Z'Gord has been arguing with Oz ever since they came back from the football game. 

_ "I won't cause any trouble! I'll stay quiet unless you talk to me and keep out of sight!"  _ Z'Gord tries to plead her case.

"One, you know you'll be chatting all day, don't lie," Oz starts, "And two, you have no control on whether you get seen or not."

_ "But you told Damien about me! You could both make sure I don't get seen or released or something! You would even have more of an excuse to-" _

"Don't finish that sentence," Oz interrupts Z'Gord, "I am not bringing you to Spooky High so you can 'scope' the compatible couples." 

_ "But my ships Oz! My ships! I need more material!"  _ Z'Gord sounds desperate,  _ "Please! I beg of you! You've allowed me a glimpse into a new world and now I want to explore it! You can't deny me my rights to want complete strangers to kiss each other and help them date!" _

"I regret telling you what a ship is," Oz sighs in exasperation, "I go to school with the most chaotic monsters in the universe. We're honestly lucky they hadn't summoned you already. I'm not taking risks."

_ "Fine then. I hate to do this to you but you gave me no other choice," _ Z'Gord's words send a feeling of dread down Oz's spine.

"I know what you're doing and it won't work. I ignore you all the time what makes-"

A girlish squeal cuts Oz off as Z'Gord starts what would be three hours of nonstop torture,  _ " _ **_OH MY GOD! You and Damien were literally the cutest! I don't even know how you can stand it! He totally has a crush on you! Did you see his face under the bleachers when he thought you were-"_ **

Oz turns bright red and tries desperately to block out Z'Gord's endless stream of thoughts. However, the eldritch abomination does not let up her attack.

**"I would totally watch a TV show about you two, or write one,"** Z'Gord doesn't even pause between rants two hours of endless gushing and Oz is still blushing so hard it hurts **, "He ruffled your hair and wrapped his tail around your waist! I could see the look on your faces even from a mile away, true LOVE! YOU EVEN PRACTICED COPYING HIS TAIL FOR TWO WEEKS JUST TO MAKE HIM HAPPY! You're both insufferable! You can't tell me you don't want him to kiss you! Haven't you at least imagined? How his lips would feel against yours, or what if he said something like-"**

Oz bangs his head against his wall in the hopes of going deaf and getting out of this torture. Another hour passes.

**_"And when you get married, you'll both be kings so you could be all jealous and kill anybody who looked at the other the wrong way, OR you could try super kinky king-"_ **

**"** ~~ F i **_N_ ** ~~ ~~e~~!" Oz is so defeated that his real mouth forms and shouts the words in desperation and absolute deafeat, " ~~i'L~~ ~~l **Ta** _K_ e yoU tO S **c** Ho _OL wI_ **tH m** _E_ ** _N_** _E_ **X** ** _T_** _M_ o **n** **D** _aY!_ "~~

_ "Yaaaaay!" Z'Gord cheers in excitement, "I knew you couldn't resist my charm." _

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I just wanna shout out Coastal_Sunset because they were the one who gave me the idea of Oz shapshifting a tail to make Damien more comfortable with his in the comments. It was a super creative idea and I'm glad they suggested it.


	28. What do we know about Oz?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vera brings up the fact that Damien and Oz have known each other for a while, but none of them have every hung out with the 'shadow demon.' Of course, once they figure this out, they decide to come up with a scheme to see Oz's true colors, or they'll just leave the interrogating to Vera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is a long chapter. I hope you like reading it.

The big six, excluding Damien, are all eating lunch together. Such a rare occurrence usually results in somebody dying, but today, the monsters all are strangely calm. They're not getting into much trouble other than a nice conversation and a little gossip. Damien was invited to eat with them too, but apparently got held up by the werebear janitor when he lit yet another classroom on fire and got detention. Why he decided to go to detention when he could just ditch like every other time he's gotten it, nobody knows. 

"What do you guys think about Oz?" Vera asks as her snakes writhe around her neck and eat bits of food off her tray.

"Oz? He's cool I guess," Polly shrugs, "Not much of a party animal though."

Said poltergeist is sticking her tongue out while she stacks her flask collection into a giant pyramid. Scott is sitting beside her cheering her on.

Unlike Polly, Scott takes a moment to smile at Vera and speaks enthusiastically, "Oz's nice! He brings snacks to practice sometimes! And he's friends with Vicky and Brian, so I like him!"

Scott goes back to cheering and Miranda looks thoughtful as her serfs display her silverware all over their backs. 

"...teaspoon, salad fork, genocide knife, picture spoon," Miranda looks up suddenly as if she just realized Vera had said anything, "I'm sorry. What did you say Vera?"

"She just asked what we all thought about Oz," Liam interrupts Vera then continues, "I personally find him intriguing considering we know next to nothing about him."

"Oh yeah! We went on a mystery hunt to find… uh… what were we trying to find?" Polly stops stacking her flasks to try and think, "We went around to ask something, but I ended up finding super shrooms so I have noooo idea what happened after that!"

"Yes," Liam looks exasperated, "We were trying to ask everyone questions about Oz when you did that. I spent the rest of the day keeping you out of too much trouble. At some point you tried to take a selfie and convinced yourself that your phone stole your soul. Our whole investigation was derailed and I honestly think you imagined Oz not being a demon."

"Really?! It sounds like I was having a great time! Maybe I should do super shrooms more often!" Polly throws her arms out and knocks over her pyramid of flasks. She looks at the scattered containers in surprise before smirking, "Oh no! Guess that means I'll just have to drink them all!"

As Polly gathers up the flasks in her arms, Miranda finally speaks up, "I don't know much about Oz either, but he seems very well mannered. He's no knight in shining armor, but he might be a squire."

"Why are you even asking?" Liam raises an eyebrow at Vera, "I doubt you actually want to get to know him."

"Of course not," Vera Scoffs, "I'm just thinking of the future. It might be good for someone of Oz's personality type to influence Damien. Don't get me wrong, his anger can get things done when he needs to, but Damien's recklessness would be much more useful if more controlled."

Despite Vera's chilling aura, nobody in the group seems bothered. They are far too familiar with bloodlust to get concerned. However, some of the nearby students at the other tables quickly make work to get as far away from them as possible.

"You wanna get Damien and Oz to hook up?!" Polly looks excited and disbelieving.

"WHAT?! No! Where did you get that idea," Vera sighs in exasperation, "I was just saying that I plan on keeping a close eye on Oz going forward. Nobody seems to know anything about him and Damien stays around him all the time. It only makes sense to keep an eye on the two of them."

"So, you want to make sure that Oz doesn't hurt Damien," Liam deadpans, "Because you don't know him enough to be sure he's not secretly a jerk, or priest, or something."

Vera's silence is answer enough.

Polly seems elated by Liam's discovery, "~Aww! I knew you had a soft squishy heart under all that tough gorgan skin!"

"I was under the impression that all gorgons had soft fleshy hearts," Miranda suddenly pipes up, "Is it actually a rarity?"

"It's metaphorical," Liam tries to explain.

Scott gasps, "Gorgan hearts are made out of metaphors?! That explains so much!"

"...it does?" Miranda tilts her head in confusion.

"Uh! No, that's not what I meant," Liam sounds annoyed, "Forget about gorgon hearts!"

"Yeah! We need to find a way to judge Oz's character!" Polly cheers.

"Why????" Scott looks very confused, "He's been super duper nice!"

"Well…Think of dog catchers Scott," Polly tries to explain, "Sometimes the dog catcher will leave out treats for the dogs before he catches them! We don't know enough about Oz to know if he's trying to catch Damien!"

"Oh, no! YOU'RE RIGHT!" Scott gasps, "We have to make sure Damien doesn't get sent to the pound! I heard that they don't even let you have bouncy balls in there or call you a good boy! How horrible!"

"Scott, Polly was be metaphor- ehem, Polly was just making a comparison," Liam corrects himself as to not be misunderstood again. He turns to Polly, "And you. Stop saying stuff Scott won't understand. It makes things more difficult to explain."

Polly pouts but stays quiet. Scott just seems relieved that there's no actual dogcatcher coming after Damien.

"I quite literally said nothing about 'judging' Oz's character," Vera rolls her eyes, "I just said I wanted to keep an eye on him."

"Why go through all the trouble of constantly monitoring him when you can make your judgment once and move one?" Miranda asks, "Whenever my parents give me more serfs I immediately get rid of them if I don't like them. That way I don't have to inconvenience myself by looking at them everyday. It also makes the ones I accept feel so very special. Isn't that right serfs?"

All Miranda's present serfs start nodding frantically with strained smiles. They were definitely afraid for their lives.

"Sometimes subtly is best," Vera responds, "Plus, not everything can be solved with sensless murder. Most of the time it can, but not always."

Miranda tilts her head, "Murder is such a strong word, I prefer silencing. Oh and don't worry, I wouldn't expect silencing people to work for everything! That's why I have serfs to do everything else!"

"Well yes Miranda, that's all well and good, but we can't have one of your serfs judge Oz and we can't kill him, can we?" Vera pauses a moment for dramatic effect, "So please, do tell how you plan to go about this."

"I don't need to!" Miranda smiles then claps her hands three times.

A middle-aged merperson runs up to Miranda and immediately kneels, "You're highness."

"Thinking serf, I want you to think up a way to judge a person without killing them or involving other serfs. Can you please do that?" Miranda asks politely.

"Of course princess!" The serf continues kneeling for a few seconds before looking back up at Miranda, "How about you use your friends? They're usually coming up with all types of shenanigans that could work in situations like this."

Miranda looks astonished and pleased, "That thought never crossed my mind! Thank you, thinking serf. You may go."

The serf scurries out of the lunchroom as fast as possible. Vera and Liam watch the conversation with barely concealed contempt.

"I just came up with the best idea that doesn't include murder or serfs!" Miranda turns back to her friends and smiles, "You all need to come up with a plan."

"Wow!" Scott looks awed, "You came up with that?! You're a genius!"

"Well then, let's get back to the drawing board," Ignoring Scott, Liam pushes his glasses back up on his nose, "Because that doesn't help at all."

"Liam, I already said that I wanted to be subtle," Vera frowns, "We don't  _ need  _ to come up with anything because I don't plan on doing anything."

"Do you think they're going to give up on this anytime soon?" Liam gestures at the three other popular monsters watching the conversation, "Polly would get bored and forget in five minutes, Polly  _ and _ Scott would get distracted, but Polly, Scott,  _ and _ Miranda are never going to forget."

Vera considers Liam's words then sighs in acceptance, "How are we going to do this?"

"Social interactions seem to make Oz relatively uncomfortable so he's most likely to be vulnerable in a situation with lots of people," Liam supplies the group.

"We could bring Oz to a party, drug him, and kidnap him," Polly suggests, "Then we could ask him whatever we want and he'd have to answer!"

"I don't wanna kidnap Vicky's friend!" Scott whines, "It might make her sad!"

"I agree with Scott," Miranda says frowning, "Kidnapping is meant for enemies, not friends! Plus, drugging someone without proper consent is very rude. Well, unless they're a traitor or peasant. Then you may do whatever you want."

Vera shakes her head as well, "I've given up on being completely subtle, but I don't want us to be that obvious."

Polly pouts, "Can we at least keep the party bit though?"

"It would be a social gathering with lots of people," Liam says thoughtfully, "But from what I've heard from Damien, Oz doesn't go to parties unless he's watching over his friends when they're drunk. We need to get him alone if we want to properly interrogate him."

"He keeps track of his friends instead of having fun at parties? What a gentleman!" Miranda gasps, "He's almost definitely a squire! I'm sure of it now!"

Ignoring Miranda, Polly voices a solution, "We can just invite all of then then! There's a party this weekend getting held in the middle of an abandoned mall that would be perfect for our plan!"

"There's a problem," Scott interrupts his friends brainstorming, "Damien always hangs out with Oz when he's around and he loves parties! He'll be there with Oz and even I couldn't separate them then!"

"You're right Scott," Polly nods then smirks, "But, I left out the smartest part of my plan! The party is Friday night and Damien just got a new junk car from his parents. He'll be street and drag racing till morning! While we intimidate some classmates, he'll be burning rubber! My plan is FOOLPROOF!"

"That's actually a very good plan," Liam says in surprise, "I'm surprised you thought everything out so much."

"Of course it's a good plan!" Polly exclaims, "I'm super duper thoughtful, like all the time! I even know the best way to get Oz to answer our questions!"

"What is it?" Miranda asks, "There's so many possibilities. Torture, verbal abuse, manipulation, black mail, ect."

"No, no, no! That stuffs all lame! I've got the best idea ever! It's…" Polly pauses, "GOOD COP BAD COP! I could be the bad cop and Scott can be my nice partner! It always works in the movies right?!"

Liam has never gone from impressed to unimpressed faster, "Gag, the good cop bad cop trope is so...uninspired. There's no originality or taste in the technique at all. There has to be some better way to go about this that doesn't leave us so… predictable."

"We can still-"

"We are not kidnapping him Polly," Vera frowns as Polly starts pouting again.

"We could try to act nicely and until he opens up to us by himself," Miranda suggests, "If he doesn't think we're looking for answers he'll answer more questions. Daddy says that peasants are more plaint if they think they have a choice."

"Hmm, actually…" Vera smiles, "That might just work. I'm always up for emotional manipulation, but we couldn't all confront him at once if we take that course of action."

"Well, we'll need somebody to distract Oz's other friends while we talk anyways," Liam thinks out loud, "We could split up and keep them separated that way."

"THAT'S PERFECT!" Polly squeals, "That way we can judge everyone else too!"

"Why would we need to do that?" Scott asks in confusion then looks scared, "Is there a possibility that everyone's an evil dog catcher?!" 

"No Scott!" Polly shakes her head before smiling, "I just think if we're so concerned about Oz and Damien we should totally scout the other possible couples and make sure that Oz's other friends are nice too!"

Liam looks at Scott, Scott looks at Vera, and Vera looks at Liam before they all nod at once. They all look back at Polly with mixed expressions of amusement and understanding.

"I can understand that reasoning," Vera agrees, "I'll take care of Oz and-"

"Me and Scott are talking with Amira!" Polly interrupts Vera and volunteers herself.

"But I wanted to be with Vicky," Scott whines quietly.

"Well, if you two are talking with Vicky then-" Liam gets cut off by Miranda.

"I'll take Brian!" Miranda smiles as she brushes a strand of hair behind her ears.

"What? But I-" Liam tries to protest but gets cut off again.

"PERFECT! Liam can handle Vicky! Now we just need to invite them to the party without being suspicious," Polly smiles, "We could put it in the group chat or-"

"Done," Both Vera and Liam say at the same time then stare at each other.

"Woah! How'd you do that so fast?!" Scott asks.

"I just texted Brian," Liam shrugs, "He usually responds quickly enough."

Vera just pulls out her phone and shows her friends, "I invited Amira. She already said she'll be there with her friends. Honestly, she responds to me so fast I think her phone's linked to her brain."

"Wow," Polly chuckles to herself, "You two are too deep at this point to be so oblivious."

"What was that?" Liam asks Polly.

"Nothing," Polly smiles then throws herself in the air, "OPERATION FLUFFERNUTTER IS A GO!"

"Fluffernutter? Why would we call it that?" Liam frowns.

"Because it sounds cool, duh!" Polly responds.

"That… is not a valid reason. We are not calling our plan 'Operation Fluffernutter,'" Vera says in finality.

Polly doesn't pick up Vera's tone and continues, "Well do any of you have any better ideas?!"

The whole group stays silent and looks to each other for some type of other suggestion.

"Exactly," Polly states, "Now we have a name for our plan."

"I refuse to call it that," Liam frowns.

\---------------------Friday Night-------------------

"So, Vera and Liam invited us to go to a party at an abandoned mall?" Oz asks curiously.

"Yeah! It's supposed to be huge!" Amira throws her arms up and almost falls off of Oz's couch, "There'll be drugs, alcohol, dancing, and the cops will probably come and bust it at the end of the night!"

"Yeah! It's gonna be super crazy and you have to come Oz," Vicky adds.

"Did they just invite you? It's so short notice," Oz checks his watch, "It's only ten minutes until the party starts."

"Well, they invited us during lunch a couple of days ago actually," Brian finally speaks up, "The girls peer pressured me into not telling you so they would have more of a chance to 'convince' you."

"Convincing me?" Oz raises an eyebrow, "I always go with you guys when drinking is involved. What's there to convince me of?"

"That's what I said," Brian pipes up.

"We thought you wouldn't want to come," Amira says awkwardly, "So we had a whole plan for convincing you."

"You made a plan?" Oz tilts his head to the side.

"Yeah! We were gonna play good cop bad cop!" Vicky pouts, "I even convinced Amira to let me play bad cop…"

"I was gonna be all nice and convincing then Vicky was gonna try and be demanding," Amira explains further.

"You two know that wouldn't have worked right? Everybody who's ever seen a cop movie knows about that. It's literally the most predictable thing you could have come up with," Brian chuckles, "It's too popular. If you wanted to convince Oz to come you should have tried something else more creative. Not that you needed to in the first place."

"Look at you," Amira teases, "Channeling your inner Liam. Being all 'no popular stuff' and crap."

"I was just stating the obvious," Brian says, a little defensive.

Oz takes the moment of silence after Brian talks to change the subject, "You decided to come too? I thought you didn't like big parties with alcohol Brian?"

"Well," Brian takes out his phone and taps a few buttons, "Liam specifically texted me, 'There's a party this Friday that Polly invited me to, and I don't want to deal with ignorant idiots all night. She said I could invite people and since you're at least semi-cool, I'm asking you to come. I couldn't care less whether you show up or not, but keep my invite in mind. Bring your friends if you want too, it doesn't matter.'"

"That sounds like Liam alright," Amira whistles.

"Yeah," Brian nods, "He invited me specifically so I felt like it would be rude to not show up myself."

"Yeah," Amira chuckles, "Vera texted me something similar. She pretty much said that she wanted us to show up and she would be super disappointed if we ditched."

"She did not say that," Vicky deadpans.

"Well, not exactly. There was a lot of networking talk and a few references to crime and black mail, but I know how to read between the lines."

"Yeah, that sounds a lot more like Vera," Oz nods to himself.

"So… does that mean you're gonna go to the party with us?" Vicky asks, "I'm sure you can hang out with Damien."

"I'll go, but Damien won't be there," Oz says with 100% certainty, "He got a new car and he's going to be street racing all night. His exact explanation was that he had to 'fucking push Nancy to her limits before he even considers keeping her with his motorcycle.'"

"Nancy?!" Amira laughs while Vicky giggles, "He named his new car Nancy?!"

"I know it's funny," Oz admits, "But don't laugh about it in front of him. He already told me about how he flayed some poor demon that snickered at him."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Amira waves Oz's concern off, "I know how temperamental our local demon boy is. I won't provoke him."

"So am I right to assume that the reason you all came over to my house is because you wanted a free ride?"

Vicky and Amira's shy look is enough of an answer to Oz. He shakes his head fondly.

"Well, tell me where this abandoned mall is at then," Oz says.

"Here," Brian hands Oz his phone with the address already up.

As Oz reads the address he realizes that the party is in the same city that he and Damien had their motorcycle chase in. It only clicks when he continues reading that it's the very abandoned mall that Damien had kept his motorcycle in when he dragged Oz along. He hasn't been around that area for awhile. There was no need to. Why go searching for fear to eat when Damien's always in the vicinity? He creates that anywhere he goes..

"Huh," Oz says to only himself, "What a coincidence."

"You can take us there right?" Vicky pipes up and Oz realizes he's been staring at the address for longer than necessary.

"Oh yeah, sure," Oz nods, "It's only a couple hours away. I can get us there in a couple of seconds."

Vicky turns on Amira and sticks her tongue out, "I told you we wouldn't be late if we waited last minute."

"I didn't even say we would be late! I just asked if you thought Oz could get us there in less than ten minutes," Amira sighs.

"Yeah! That's pretty much the same thing," Vicky says smugly.

"Whatever," Amira rolls her eyes, "I'm just glad you have that shadow magic stuff Oz. Do you know how many times the three of us would have screwed ourselves over otherwise?"

"I don't know why you don't use it twenty-four seven," Vicky adds, "I would never walk anywhere or get anything myself again. Honestly, I haven't even seen you use it that much at school."

"I don't think anybody at school even knows about it," Amira deadpans, "The only times I've seen him use it there was that first class in gym and to subtly get school supplies. Nobody's paying attention to him when he does it though."

"Hmm, other than Damien and you guys. I don't think anybody else knows about my shadow jumping," Oz says thoughtfully, "It's probably better that way though. I don't want to be Spooky High's personal taxi service."

"That would be annoying," Brian agrees.

"Speaking of personal taxi services," Amira jumps in, "The party's about to start and I want to get tipsy before the beer and stuff gets drugged."

Oz shrugs and gets up, "Okay."

Oz shoves Amira backwards off the couch and she's through her shadow and gone with a flash and a yelp.

"She's going to be pissed at you for doing that without warning her," Brian states.

"It's her fault for being impatient," Oz says mischievously.

"Remind me not to make you angry," Vicky mumbles while standing up.

Oz is a lot more gentle with Vicky. He pushes her just enough for her to stumble and then watches her disappear. Brian's already standing up at this point ready to go. With the same force Oz used on Vicky, he pushes Brian and in less then a second, he's gone. Before leaving Oz looks at the bookshelf near the end of the room and makes eye contact (totem contact) with Z'Gord.

"You heard all that right?" Oz asks.

The totem glows a radiant crimson before Z'Gord speaks,  _ "Yep!" _

"I'll probably be back either late tonight or early in the morning," Oz tells the totem, "You're gonna stay in the duffel bag until then and in the morning we can watch some more of that anime you liked."

_ "Anime! I can't wait to see if bystander one and the evil henchman get married!"  _ Z'Gord squeals.

Oz is about to drop Z'Gord's totem into the void before moving it to his indestructible duffel bag when she says one more thing,  _ "Oh, and guess what! Only two more days until I get to go to school with you!" _

Oz winces at the reminder before dropping Z'Gord through her own shadow and putting her where she belonged. Oz isn't looking forward to Monday and all the stress that comes with it.

Pushing his negative thoughts to the back of his mind, Oz hops through his own shadows and pops up in the parking lot of a familiar abandoned mall. He doesn't need to think about that right now.

"Oz! There you are!" Vicky greets her friend, "We were waiting to go in without you, but you didn't show up instantly like you usually do."

"S-Sorry. I had to grab my phone," Oz lies.

"Hmph," Amira makes a bit of noise to get everyone's attention as she glares at Oz, "You just couldn't help yourself, could you?"

Oz meets Amira's glare and immediately does the smartest thing in this scenario.

"H-Hey! The party's already started! L-Let's get in there quickly before we miss something interesting!"

That choice was to flee.

"Where do you think you're going! I'm not done with you," Amira calls after Oz, who is already sprinting across the lot.

The sound of wedges against the concrete is the only warning Oz gets that Amira's chasing him. A few monsters that are loitering outside the party, wondering if they should go in, give Oz concerned glances. It probably looks strange to them, or they think he's about to get murdered. The closer Oz gets to the building the louder the music that can be heard from inside gets. 

Oz rushes past a couple of monsters and through the open door to the building. He immediately steps to the side as Amira rushes past him, far too fast to stop her own momentum. She's about to trip and fall, but Oz isn't mean enough to let her. Well, he's not mean enough to let her fall in the middle of a huge party where she's likely to get stepped on. 

Faster than the eye can see, Oz darts forward and catches Amira's elbow and pulls her upright while she regains her balance. The moment she's steady, Amira starts glaring at Oz again. 

"Why do you have to do something that pisses me off and then immediately save my ass from doing something stupid," It's a little difficult to hear over the loud music, but it's easy to understand what Amira meant when her face softens and she sighs, "It makes it too difficult to stay mad at you."

Vicky and Brian peak in through the door and spot their two friends. Once they make sure they won't get dragged into a verbal lashing from Amira, they start to enter. 

Vicky practically skips up to Oz, "Looks like you two calmed down!"

Brian follows behind more slowly and doesn't say anything as Vicky bounces around looking at the huge party that's going on. It seems Vicky's enthusiasm is contagious because Amira quickly joins in with her own excitement. Honestly though, Oz can understand.

It's in Polly's reputation that she only shows up to the most crazy, extreme, and huge parties. With how the mall looks from the inside, she lives up to her party hype.

The entire mall is full of dancing people and flashing lights. The music is loud and almost seems to come from every direction. The entire building is filled with dancing monsters and other beings. Some are drinking, some are doing drugs, and others are doing things that are probably very illegal. Overall, if Oz wanted to describe the party, he would call it Polly's inner spirit.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Right before Vicky and Amira run off, Polly appears out of nowhere, suspiciously not drunk.

"Woah! There you guys are! I was getting so bored and tired of waiting! Vera told me I couldn't drink until you showed up because I'm the only one who could spot you guys!"

"Vera was waiting for us?" Amira asks, smiling like she won the lottery.

"Uh duh, I just said so!" Polly responds while rolling her eyes. Those eyes then widen in something similar to realization, "Wait! I'm supposed to tell everyone you guys are here. I gotta go do that. B.R.B bitchez!"

Polly suddenly floats into the crowd and disappears, leaving Oz and his friends to stare after her. 

"We just got roped into some type of scheme," Oz says plainly.

Brian and Vicky nod in agreement while Amira seems riled up, "Come on. Vera might just wanna hang out. I mean, we text all the time for no reason in particular. Why is this any different?"

"Because we aren't you," Vicky answers.

"What does that mean?!" Amira exclaims.

"It means that Vera has no attachment to us," Brian explains, "If she wants to meet with all of us it means she wants to use us for some type of trouble. If she wants to meet with you, it's to hang out."

"What do you mean when you say 'attachment?'" Amira asks with a weird mixture of hope and fake indifference.

"I'm just saying that-"

Before Brian can answer, a familiar group of monsters emerges from the crowd. Scott runs up to Vicky and immediately his tail starts wagging as they chat, Liam silently walks up beside Brian while still on phone, Miranda seems to not be particularly focused on anyone, Polly floats over to Amira, and Vera walks directly up to Oz. 

"Hmm, I'm so glad you four came to the party," Vera sounds less than enthused, "I'm so excited to have a good time or… whatever."

Even Vera's snakes seem uninterested with the niceties. Oz wonders why Vera's trying to be so nice. She's not succeeding in any way, shape, or form, but the effort is still concerning. She must have some type of real crazy going on to actively try to be nice.

"Uh, forget this crap," Vera finally speaks up when no one speaks for a moment. There goes the act, "Can we just go party or whatever we came here to do?"

With Vera's words, the silence disappears and Polly takes over the conversation, "Yeah! Forget this stupid introduction and small talk stuff and let's get WASTED!!!"

"Uh..." Amira is staring at Vera and how close she is to Oz instead of her. She seems to shake herself from her own thoughts after a moment and flashes them all a smile, "Yeah! Let's party! Vera, do you wanna-"

"AMIRA! Come on, I'll show you where the best alcohol is!" Polly grabs Amira's shoulders and starts pulling her into the dancing crowd, she glances over her shoulder and shouts in Vicky's direction, "Come on Scott! You're coming with!"

Scott's tail slows its wagging drastically as his attention is pulled from Vicky, but he follows the two monsters into the crowd anyways. They disappear into the mob of dancing people and Brian looks relatively alarmed. That definately sent kidnapping vibes.

Vera watches the three walk away with an expression of satisfaction that let's Oz know she planned it. Oz gulps. That's not a good thing.

  
  


Miranda walks up to Brian next, "I would like you to partake of the activity of dancing with me. As I have heard you are good at it. Here's a witness to my truthfulness."

Miranda claps twice and a merperson comes running out of the crowd, "Princess Miranda would like to party with you. She has no ulterior motives and is not lying or omitting the truth in any way."

"As my truth serf, who is most definitely not a lie serf, has said, I want you to come with me."

Brian looks to Oz and Vicky. His eyes are just asking if what just happened was actually real. Brian then turns to Liam, who's pinching the bridge of his nose in disappointment, and shrugs in some type of acceptance as he follows an elated Miranda.

Ok, what's going on?! Oz is so confused. It's as if Vera's trying to be alone with- oh no. That realization is not good for Oz's already fragile mentality. Oz watches in dread as Liam makes his way over to Vicky. Please don't let him ask if she-

Liam audibly sighs, "I'm going to try and get some proper photos to post on my blog and you're coming with me to help. Follow along and don't get lost."

Without waiting for Vicky to answer, Liam starts walking away. Vicky sends Oz a questioning glance before rushing after him.

Oz focuses on Vera as she watches Vicky and Liam walk away. She's got one of her fingers wrapped up by a serpent and her other hand is tapping on her hip impatiently. The moment Vicky is out of sight, Vera looks to Oz smoothly.

"How about we head somewhere less crowded and chat," Vera suggests, "I know you don't like large crowds and I don't like being near drunk idiots so it's a win win."

Oz knows this is a trick for Vera to lower his guard, but he is not ready to deal with whatever Vera has planned with him along with being in a crowd of people. Instead of answering, Oz just nods hesitantly. Why did he get stuck with the most intimidating monster at Spooky High? Hell, what does Vera want with Oz?! 

Vera sends Oz a small smirk before gesturing for him to follow her through the crowded mall. She strides into the crowd and people just split to let her by without thinking, her intimidating aura just naturally sending people with half a brain to get out of her way. The two make their way across the mall and towards the individual rooms in that back that used to be stores. Near the back of the building, the crowds are more dispersed and far between. 

They walk into what apparently used to be an old comic book shop where there's only one small satyr drinking from a canteen. There's no chairs or anything, just a ton of graffiti and some broken stuff.

"Get out," Vera makes eye contact with the satyr and demands, "Go somewhere else to be pathetic and get out of my sight."

"You ain't my fucking mom," The half goat drunkingly slurs, "What right do you have'ta tell me what ta-"

The satyr's words are cut off as he slowly turns to stone. It starts from his eyes before slowly encasing his entire body. He doesn't even manage to scream.

Nope. That's not good. Oz wants to go home and watch anime with a world destroyer. That's less stressful than talking to Vera one on one.

"So annoying," Vera mumbles under her breath, "Why can't people just listen to me the first time I say something? It makes things so much easier."

Vera makes her way across the room and leans against a wall. She adjusts her jacket before reaching into her round purple purse, that Oz hadn't noticed before, and takes out a cigarette, cigarette holder, and lighter.

In one swift motion, Vera lights a cigarette and places it in her thin black holder before taking a puff while placing her lighter back in her purse.

"Are you coming over here or not?" Vera rolls her eyes.

Hoping to not end up like Vera's earlier victim, Oz complies. He can't help but stare at the frozen expression of the satyr in his peripheral vision. Oz steps up beside Vera and stands beside her awkwardly. It's silent for the next few minutes as Vera continues puffing on her cigarette and Oz stews in his own anxiety. 

"So Oz," Vera exhales a small cloud of smoke, "We haven't talked that much. I don't know much about you and you don't know much about me. How about we fix that?"

Oz's eyes examine Vera's expression for some answers, but finds a carefully blank mask of indifference, "W-What do you want to talk about?"

Oz has never hated his stutter so much. He's the literally incarnation of fear itself, an eldritch abomination as old as time, but he can't stand awkward situations. What did Oz do to the universe for it to hate him so.

"Hmm…" Vera seems thoughtful, "How about you tell me what you and Damien usually do when you hang out? That seems like a good conversation starter."

"W-Well, I told you all when we first met that we usually just watch TV together," Oz nervously answers, "He just shows up at my house whenever he gets bored, and I just go along with whatever terrible scheme he has."

"You have a house?" Vera asks curiously.

Oz is a little surprised that out of his entire response, Vera chose to cling to him owning a home, "U-Uh, yeah."

"Not many people in Spooky high own their own homes. I just expected you to live in an apartment of some sort," Vera comments.

Ignoring the underlying poor person insult, Oz speaks, "I-I did live in an apartment about six months before Spooky High, but I had to move out due to…  _ unfortunate events _ ."

"What happened?" Vera looks relatively interested now.

"O-Oh, me and Damien weren't really friends at the time. We were more of… how do I describe it, we were kinda frenemies," As Oz tells the story he gets more focused on remembering the details and stops stuttering, "I had his motorcycle at my house and he decided to go looking for it when I wasn't home. When-"

"Why did you have Damien's motorcycle?" Vera interrupts Oz and asks, "Did you take it?"

"No! Well, kinda. You see, Damien dragged me to a bar and got black out drunk," Oz explains fondly, "I had to carry the reckless idiot back to my place on his bike, so I guess I did take it without his permission. Since I gave it back though, I think it's more considered… borrowing."

"Hmm, interesting," Is all Vera says as she puffs on her cigarette.

"Back to the original story," Oz gets back on topic, "When looking for his bike he accidentally set my apartment on fire."

Vera freezes and she looks at Oz in disbelief, "Damien  _ accidentally  _ set your entire apartment on fire and it was a bonding experience for you two?"

Oz chuckles nervously, "It was more complicated than that, but in short, yeah. They blamed the apartment fire on a gas leak and I ended up buying my new home, that just so happens to be fireproof."

Vera continues asking Oz questions without adding anything to the conversation herself other than more questions. As the night continues on, Oz wonders what Vera could possibly want from him.

"You and Damien seem to have a strange relationship," Vera comments eventually.

Oz tilts his head curiously, "I don't think so. We just bonded in unconventional ways. We're pretty normal friends, I watch his back and he watches mine. I mean, sure, we definitely had a rough start, but I don't hold grudges." 

"Huh, so you don't think anything's off about how you two interact?" Vera sounds a lot more serious than earlier, "Not one thing?"

The question seems so out of left field that Oz has to ponder what brought it up. Vera dragged him away from his friends to have small talk about his life? No, the gorgon girl has some type of agenda that Oz doesn't understand. In a matter of seconds, Oz replays their conversation in his head again. All they've talked about is Oz and- realization hits him

"You're asking me all these questions because you want to know how I act around Damien," Oz's mouth moves faster than his brain as he states his theory out loud.

Vera coughs suddenly and then looks at Oz with shock and surprise. Vera recovers quickly and her face fades back to being blank.

"How did you figure it out?" Vera tilts her head and her snakes slither around in response to Vera's sudden movements.

Oz panics a little as he thinks of how to explain it, "I-It was just really obvious when we arrived that you wanted to speak with me alone and when we started talking you immediately brought up Damien and tried to stay on that topic. Then you asked me that random question about us and it just clicked."

"Hmm, I'll need to work on that then," Vera says thoughtfully, "Well, nevermind all that. You figured out what I wanted so we might as well get down to business. How do you feel about Damien?"

Oz wonders if this is all a trick to hide Vera's true intentions, but he decides to just take her words at face value and answer honestly, "Damien's great. A little reckless and temperamental sometimes, but I just think that's what makes him, him. I consider us both to be really good friends. I'd even go as far as best friends from my side."

Oz didn't talk about how Damien helps him just by being around, the amount of relief Oz feels in an awkward conversation when the demon shows up, or how he trusts Damien entirely, despite his destructive tendencies. However, Oz doesn't voice these stronger feelings and Vera seems disappointed by his lackluster response.

"Just friends, huh?"

Oz considers what he must have said wrong, but Vera just shakes her head and starts walking away.

"Let's get back to the party," Vera says while walking, "I got what I wanted."

Oz follows behind Vera as quickly as possible, "Did I say something wrong, or- what the..."

Oz trails off when he realizes something. The music's stopped. It was blaring a few moments ago. Oz grabs Vera's arm and tugs her back into the abandoned ship to keep her from being seen.

"What are you-" Oz covers Vera's mouth and gives her a shush sign.

"Listen! There's no music anymore, something's going on," Oz says urgently.

Vera's eyes widen as a couple moments of silence drag on. Nobody would have stopped the music unless… Oz peaks out the nearest hole in the wall to see flashing red and blue lights outside.

"Amira called it," Oz turns to Vera as she scowls and shouts can be heard from somewhere else in the mall, "The party got busted."

"Damn it all," Vera curses, "I'm going to have to bribe myself out of police custody  _ again. _ "

Oz ignores Vera's annoyed murmurs and focuses on looking through the shadows and listening throughout the mall to hear and see what's going on. 

Sure enough, the whole mall is surrounded and Oz even recognizes some of the officers there as the same ones Damien and Oz ran away from in their motorcycle chase. Why does this city have such a proactive police department? Can't they just let people do illegal stuff in peace like everywhere else? 

What once used to be a crowd of partying monsters, is now a group of frozen puppets. The police force must have used magic to freeze all the participants of the party as to keep the peace and make sure they can arrest all of them. The only monsters exempt from the spell are in the small abandoned shops and back rooms. The police didn't overlook them however, as they're checking each abandoned shop one by one. In fact, one officer is just about to enter the shop him and Vera are-

Reacting on instinct and self-preservation alone, Oz grabs the collar of the policeman coming closer to them and immediately slams his head into the concrete wall with far more force than necessary. The impact makes a loud cracking sound as an indent is created in the wall. When he pulls the officer back, Oz is relieved to see he's a stone golem so the hit to the head isn't deadly and only knocks him out instead of killing him. Oz would be willing to kill him to get out, but it's still not preferable.

Vera stares at Oz, who is holding the weight of an entire unconscious golem in one hand as if it's a carton of milk, "How did you know he-"

"There's no time to explain," Oz cuts Vera off as he notices more officers coming their way to investigate the sound, "The police have the place surrounded and they used a freeze spell on everyone outside in the party. I need you to stay calm and not freak out. There's nothing in the void so there's no need to be scared."

"The void? What are you even talking-" Oz cuts Vera's questioning off again as he shoves her into the shadow of a nearby wall.

No sooner does he do that, two officers walk in on Oz, who's still holding the unconscious body of an officer.

The first officer immediately pulls out a handgun and points it at Oz, "YOU! PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND DROP OFFICER JENKINS THIS VERY MOMENT!"

The second officer also has a gun pointed at Oz, but instead of shouting, he speaks into his walkie talkie, "We've got a possibly hostile individual in the back of the store. He's taken down Officer Jenkins, requesting backup."

Oz drops the officer and puts both his hands in the air before speaking, "This definitely isn't what it looks like!"

Both the officers startle at Oz's mental voice and start looking over their shoulders, thinking somebody else talked to them. Oz takes the opportunity to sink into his own shadow and disappear. He is not in the mood to get arrested. 

The moment he appears in the void, he's greeted with the sight of Vera being very confused by Oz's phobias, who seem to be interacting with Vera's snakes. The moment Vera sees Oz she locks onto him with a glare.

"What the hell is going on!? Where am I and what did you do?!" Vera hisses.

"Uh, fast explanation," Oz starts, "This is my void, I enter it through the shadows, I just ran away from the police, and I'm about to pick up our friends so I don't have to bail somebody out of jail again. You got that?"

"I can honestly say everything you just said sounded like a total load of bullshit, but I'm floating in an empty black space with nothing but these little shadow worms so yeah, sure, I got it," Vera deadpans.

Oz awkwardly nods at Vera before he pops back up in the real world above the mall in the rafters. The two police officers from earlier seem to be panicking as they speak into their communicators and it's only Oz's excellent hearing that let's him know what they're saying into their walkie talkies.

"We lost the hostile individual. Repeat, we lost the hostile individual," One urgently speaks, "Keep all eyes out. The hostile is what seems to be a male monster with telepathy and some type invisibility. Target single handedly incompasitated Officer Jenkins. Be cautious."

Oz sighs to himself as multiple officers around the mall confirm they heard the message. The police scurry around the building searching for Oz. 

Above the policemen and partygoers, Oz peers down from the rafters to try and spot his friends. It's almost impossible to do with the humongous crowd, but Oz tries his best.

He's spent at least five minutes searching, when a certain ghost manifests beside him and almost sends him toppling out from the rafters. 

"Yoooo Oz," Polly whisper yells from beside him, "You didn't get frozen either!? That's so cool!"

"Polly? You're alright?" Oz asks urgently.

"~Awww you're worried about me!" Polly slurs, "That's soooo cute! But I think Damien already called dibs on your ass, so I gotta say nooooooo to this."

Oz realizes that Polly is not only drunk, but possibly high too. He should probably just pop her in the void for Vera to deal with, but he needs information.

"How'd you get unfrozen?" Oz asks.

"I'm too cool to get caught in such a laaaame spell!" Lucky for Oz, Polly still has enough sense to whisper, "I was too high and in the sky to be caught in their dumb magic. When they started yelling my head hurt so I just disappeared for a little while, but then I saw you."

Oz takes the information in quickly. The freezing spell must be ranged if it didn't get Polly, who was probably floating above the party. Now all he needs to know is where his friends are.

"Do you know where everyone else is?" Oz asks the ghost.

"Everyone else? Sure," Polly drunkenly slurs, "Scott and Amira are right below us, Vicky and Liam are by the exit, and Brian and Miranda are… what did you ask again?"

"Where are Miranda and Brian?" 

"Ooooh, they're over there," Polly points at the crowd and sure enough, Brian and Miranda are frozen in place.

"Thanks, that helps a lot Polly," Oz watches as Polly floats upside down and gives him a lopsided smile, "Can I help you out and get you to Vera?"

"Vera!? Wow, she didn't get frozen either? That's great! Y'know Vera's so cool andt-"

Realizing Oz isn't going to get any kind of confirmation from the drunk ghost, he grabs her arm to shove her into the shadows of the rafter. Hopefully Vera can deal with her properly.

"Hey! I said nooooo touching! Damien will be pissed if I accidentally have sex with you," Polly actually yells and Oz can't push her into the shadows fast enough.

Oz looks around and most of the police officers are pointing at the rafter Oz was hidden in. Oz decides to take full advantage of the distraction Polly caused and shadow jumps down into the crowd below while the police try to get up and investigate the voice they heard.

Oz slowly navigates through the crowd of frozen people while looking out for any officers that may spot him. He makes it to Scott and Amira first. Amira was frozen mid drink as she was about to chug a beer. Scott just seems to be standing still and wagging his tail with no reason for doing so. Oz tips Amira over, and like a statue, she falls without moving a single muscle twitching. She disappears through her shadow and is hopefully back to normal in the void. Oz does the same with Scott.

Oz squeezes pass another few people before coming up on Miranda and Brian. Instead of dancing like Miranda said she wanted, her and Brian are frozen standing up and watching Miranda's serfs dance. Oz tips Brian and he's gone. He walks up to Miranda and within seconds, she's in the void too. Oz considers bringing Miranda's serfs too, but figures they'll probably have a better life in prison than under her servitude.

The only people left to get are Vicky and Liam. Oz saved them for last because of how close to the exit they are. If Oz is gonna get spotted, that's where it'll happen. Oz approaches the two slowly. He carefully tips Vicky and she's gone in a flash. Oz turns to get Liam, but stops short when the sound of a gun getting cocked sounds out behind him. Oz slowly turns his head to see a minotaur cop pointing a gun at him.

"Put your hands in the air and get on your knees!" The policeman shouts, "This is private property and you are trespassing. We'll be taking you down to the station to see if you are in possession of any illegal drugs or magical items. If you attempt to run away, you will also be charged with evading an officer and obstructing justice."

Oz is quite literally inches away from Liam at this point. The vampire was frozen looking down at his phone, taking a picture of something. It's fitting for his personality.

Taking a bit of a risk, Oz slowly puts his hands up and starts to turn around to face the officer. When he slowly pretends to start kneeling, Oz kicks his foot out and Liam starts to fall. On the way down, the frozen Liam statue knocks into another person and causes a chain reaction before disapearing into the void. All the people start to fall over one by one like dominoes all across the mall.

"Holy shit," The officer that had a gun on Oz watches as everyone starts to fall over and gets distracted.

Oz takes the distraction to quickly turn around, crouch, and push Liam into the void. Just before Oz gets away himself, a shot rings out and white hot pain flashes through his right shoulder.

Just as quickly as Oz's black matter body is penetrated by a bullet, it seals back up over the projectile. It's uncomfortable, but there's no long lasting pain like if any other monster had been shot. Although Oz can't help but think about what a hassle it'll be to get the bullet out of his shoulder and patch his yellow cardigan later.

Ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of moving the arm that has a bullet in it, Oz stands up and makes eye contact with the police officer that shot him before using the arm that got shot to flip him off. Oz soaks in the satisfaction of the shocked expression on the cop before he gets the hell out of there.

Oz sinks into his own shadow before immediately appearing back at his house. Oz sits down on his couch and takes a few moments to breath and calm down. Nobody will mind if he takes a breather after saving all his friends, avoiding the cops, and getting shot in the shoulder. Everyone waiting in the void will barely notice the difference anyways. For them, thirty minutes is like five. Once Oz is calmed down, he stands up and gets ready to let everyone out. 

Before that though, Oz warns his kinda roommate of their company, "Z'Gord! I'm back."

_ "Welcome back! Did you have fun?"  _ Z'Gord asks.

"Not really," Oz states truthfully, "I got interrogated by Vera, caught up in a police raid since the party everyone at the party was doing illegal stuff, had to avoid said police for about twenty minutes to save my friends, and then, to top the night off, I just got shot."

_ "Arrow or magic?"  _ Z'Gord asks curiously.

"Neither," Oz answers, "It was a gun. And before you ask, they hurt more than arrows, but less than magic."

_"Hmm, well I'm sorry your night went so badly._ _Hopefully episode 24 of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie will make you feel better?"_ Z'Gord tries.

"That's my least favorite show and my night's not actually over yet," Oz sighs, "All my friends are about to...uh... show up. I just wanted to let you know."

_ "...Can you put me on the shelf again so I can see?"  _ Z'Gord's question seems innocent enough, but Oz knows that if he lets her watch it'll turn into a disaster, one way or another.

"Sorry. No offense, but I trust you around Amira, Vicky, and Brian, but adding everyone else at once is begging for trouble," Oz explains.

_ "Hmph...fine,"  _ Z'Gord sounds cross, but also understanding. She knows from stories how chaotic Oz's friends can be together.

Oz sighs and then focuses on his own shadow. All at once, everyone piles out into the living room on the floor. It's a tangled heap of limbs, tails, and other extremities.

Brian and Vera are the first to recover and adapt to their new surroundings. They both stand up quickly as the others regain their senses. Vicky recovers next and helps Miranda and Scott up. Liam refuses help and stands up by himself. The last to stand up is Amira. She wobbles in place a little before falling back down on the ground next to Polly. Oz notes that they are both definitely drunk, probably from the same thing.

"That was… an interesting experience," Vera is the first to speak.

Liam looks pale and confused.

"Quite unconventional," Miranda agrees, less concerned.

"I was having fun with Polly, then I was floating next to my other friends in the dark, and now I'm here," Scott says as if he's explaining what happened to himself.

"Did Vicky or Brian not explain what was going on?" Oz asks, "They've been in the void before."

"Vicky only showed up a few seconds before you let us out so she didn't have time and Liam popped up right before you let us out so he didn't get any explanation," Brian tells Oz, "I… tried to explain everything, but it was kind of hard when I didn't know what was going on."

Instead of explaining anything, the group of monsters watches as Oz grabs the TV remote off the coffee table, turns the flat screen in his living room on, and flips through the channels until it gets to a news channel.

"I thought they would have it on TV," Oz says as if that explains everything.

"What does the news have to do with-" Liams starts to protest but Vera shushes him as the female newscaster comes on.

"And tonight we have news that a party in the abandoned mall down on fifth street has gotten shut down forcefully by the police, "The women continues talking as clips of people getting loaded into cop cars cross the screen, "Multiple monsters at the party had illegal drugs, alcohol, weapons, and other paraphernalia. Luckily, the entire party was shut down with the help of a magic freeze spell. The entire situation played out with only one officer getting injured. A stone golem and senior officer named-"

"Do you guys understand what happened now?" Oz turns to the group. Everyone except for Vicky and Brian seem a little shell shocked.

"How much time did we lose?" Brian relaxes and goes to sit down on the end of the couch.

"Oh, only about twenty minutes," Oz quickly replies.

"Only twenty minutes? So it's still around… one in the morning or something?" Vicky pipes up before sitting in the beanbag chair.

"Yeah," Oz checks his watch, "It's about 1:45."

"What is going on?" Liam says while confusedly staring at Oz and Vicky, who are already relaxing, "Where even are we?"

Vera huffs before whipping out her phone as she talks, "Didn't you see the news. The party Polly dragged us to get raided by the police. I should have known better than to trust her judgement, even on parties."

"I can understand that," Liam frowns, "But what's with sudden teleportation and scenery change? We don't even know where we are."

"PFT," Amira chuckles from the floor and starts sluring her words, "We're at Oz's fucking house! Where else would we be!"

The moment Amira starts chuckling, Polly starts laughing uncontrollably along with her. This only spurs Amira to laugh harder.

"How about we talk about this in more detail after I get these two somewhere where they can sleep… that off," Oz looks around the room to see if anybody wants to protest, but nobody speaks up.

Oz sighs as he looks at the two girls. He knows how to help Amira when the alcohol wears off, but helping a ghost through a hangover is a completely new concept. Although, if Polly can take drugs, she could probably take tylenol. 

"Brian, do you mind helping me?" Oz gestures towards the two girls wasted on the floor.

Brian gumbles, but gets up and picks Polly up bridal style before walking towards the guest rooms.

As they walk away, Polly starts shouting over Brian's shoulder, "HEY VERA! Amira's totally the best. She's one fucking party animal! I totally give my blessing!"

Oz ignores the drunk ghosts shouting and helps Amira stand up before her eyes go wide and she suddenly sprints down the hallway. Oz can guess where she's heading and when the bathroom door slams shut, he knows his guess was correct. Oz stands there for a moment before walking after his friend to make sure she's alright.

"Vicky, I gotta take care of that," Oz turns back around and frowns, "It might take a while so…"

"I got it! Leave it to me!" Vicky smiles ear to ear as Oz leaves the room to check up on Amira.

Oz walks down the hall and past Brian, who's already set Polly in the first guest room, and to the bathroom. Oz knocks on the door and doesn't get a response. Oz tries the handle and the door swings open. Amira was in too much of a rush to lock the door behind her. Oz steps in to see Amira leaning over the toilet. Amira glances up at Oz, she's already looking much more sober, but still not back to normal.

"You wanna stay in the second guest room tonight Amira," Oz says quietly.

Amira just nods once before gesturing for Oz to leave. Trusting Amira to handle herself despite the alcohol, Oz closes the door without locking it, just in case. Oz heads back into the living room to find everyone standing up while Vicky and Brian explain Oz's shadow abilities. When Oz walks in and everyone goes quiet.

The first person to move is Scott. He rushes forward and crushes Oz in a super strength hug. The hug irritates the bullet in Oz's shoulder, but he masks his discomfort well.

"I didn't want to go to the pound!" Scott whines, "And you saved me from the dogcatchers! Thanks!"

Miranda smiles and walks up to Oz once Scott let's go, "Although I would not consider you a proper suiter, I do believe you are a brave knight. It's such a sad thing that my serfs have to be put into such a torturous place such as jail, but I know you did your best to save them!"

Oz is stunned by the sudden thanks, but before he can respond, Liam walks up.

"I have to say that your 'shadow hopping' ability is much more impressive than cliche teleporting," Liam acts uninterested but his next words contradict his carefree attitude, "Either way. Thanks for not letting us get arrested or whatever."

Vera comes up last with an annoyed expression, "As much as I hate to say it, I owe you one. You already have my number or whatever, so if you need some monster dead, text me."

As Oz soaks in their gratitude, he can't help but feel like he left a great impression on Damien's friends.

\-------------------------Extra-----------------------

Damien spent the whole night destroying some idiots on the track. Nancy drove like a dream and left everybody else in the dust. Damien honestly couldn't be in a better mood. The only way it could get better is if he told somebody about his escapades. Which is what Damien is about to do.

Now it's three in the morning, and most people are sleeping at this time, so who could Damien possibly be going to see? Well, of course it's the one person he knows who doesn't need a damn wink of sleep, his best friend Ozzie.

Damien breaks at least ten traffic laws on his way to Oz's house before finally pulling up in front of the familiar building. He parks Nancy and steps out of the vehicle before locking the car. He walks up to Ozzie's house and starts banging on the door.

"OZZIE! Open up! You are never gonna believe how many dumbasses I made eat the dust tonight!" Damien shouts loud enough for Oz to hear. 

There's a loud scuffling sound as Oz rushes towards the door, "Don't bang on the door like that Dames! I'm coming, I'm coming!"

Damien smirks as he hears the soft, almost indiscernible, sound of Oz's footsteps rushing to the door. A few seconds later, Oz opens the door and immediately shushes Damien to keep him from yelling.

"Both Amira and Polly are staying in the guest rooms right now after getting drunk. Polly also might be high," Oz explains quickly, "I don't want to wake them up and deal with their hangover grumpiness at three a.m."

"Polly's here?" Damien asks annoyed, "How did she figure out where you fucking live?"

"Oh right, you've been busy racing," Oz says in realization, "You haven't read my texts yet."

Damien looks at Oz in confusion, "What did I miss?"

Oz invites Damien in before recounting that night's party adventure, excluding some parts.

"You really just rammed a fucking stone golem into the wall so hard he passed out?!" Damien growls in shock. When Oz nods damien grabs him by the shoulder, "You're the most hardcore bastard I know Ozzie!"

Oz flinches a little when Damien grabs his shoulder, and despite him trying to hide it, Damien notices.

Damien retracts his hand quickly and frowns, "What the hell happened to your shoulder."

Oz puts his hands up and shrugs, "Nothing. My shoulder's fine."

"I thought we already established how terrible a liar you are," Damien moves closer to Oz and holds him in place as he looks at his shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Oz sounds a little panicked, "My shoulder's fine."

At first glance, nothing seems to be off about Oz's shoulder, but then he spots the hole in his signature mustard cardigan. Now, Damien doesn't know a lot about medical crap, but he's street smart enough to know what a bullet hole looks like. 

"YOU GOT FUCKING SHOT?!" Damien can't help but yell, "How the hell did you get shot?!"

"Uh…" Oz has the fucking nerve to look ashamed.

"You're going to tell me who shot you and then explain why you didn't tell me right now, or so help me I'll fucking tie you up until you do," Damien threatens.

Oz takes Damien's threat seriously because, well, Damien is serious with threats, "It's nothing, really! Some police officer just got a little trigger happy at the mall! It doesn't even hurt! My body just immediately regenerates!"

Damien frowns, "Then why the hell did you flinch when I grabbed you?"

Oz looks even more ashamed and Damien knows he's hiding something.

"Why did you flinch when I grabbed your shoulder Ozzie?"

There's a soft incompresible whisper in Damien's head.

"I didn't hear you. Speak louder," Damien says softer than usual.

"...it was because the bullet's still in my shoulder," Oz admits quietly.

Damien's eyes widen as he looks at the front of Oz's shirt. There's no exit hole. Damien wants to fucking knock Oz over the head for being such a stupid idiot. Why would he hide that?

"The bullet's. STILL.  **WHERE** ?" Damien growls. Oz tries to take a step back, but Damien holds him in place, "Did you decide to just keep it as fucking souvenir?!"

Oz looks anywhere but Damien, "N-No. I just don't really feel it other than it being slightly uncomfortable. I didn't want to bother anybody when it couldn't be helped at the moment."

"Why are you like this Ozzie," Damien finally lets go of Oz and places a hand on his face, "You've got to make sure everybody else is alright before you take care of yourself. It's so stupid."

Oz doesn't say anything.

"Look, I know you've probably been shot before, so how do you usually get… the bullets out," The words feel wrong in Damien's mouth.

"Well, my original form just kind of deflects them, but like this I kinda have to remove them… manually," Oz explains.

"Manually?" Damien parrots sourly, "What does that mean?"

"W-Well, usually, I get a knife or something sharp and-" Damien knows where this is going and absolutely hates it, "-I just kind of push it out."

Damien scans Oz's face for any type of lie, but is horrified to find there is none.

"You just- You just dig it out yourself with a kitchen knife or something?!" Damien growls.

"Y-Yeah. It's the easiest and quickest way to get it out," Oz nods.

Damien turns away from Oz and growls to himself. Why does this have to be so badass, but also terrible at the same time? How many times has Oz had to do this by himself for him to just  _ know  _ that's what he had to do?!

"Fuck my life," Damien growls under his breath before turning around and speaking normally, "Let me help you get it out."

Oz looks ready to protest but Damien stops him, "Before you even think of saying no, you better remember that it'll be difficult as hell to get that bullet out without help if you got shot in the back. Plus, you have literally no knife experience, other than maybe in a kitchen."

"But…" Oz still looks hesitant but Damien's stubborn.

"I'm gonna help you whether you want to or not so you better just tell me what to do," Damien snarls.

Oz seems to accept his fate, "It'll be easier to get the bullet out if we're both sitting down, let's head to the living room."

Damien follows Oz into the living room and sits down next to him on the couch.

"I know you probably already have a knife," Oz starts.

"Guilty as charged," Damien smirks and twirls the knife already in his hand.

"O-Ok, well I guess I'll just…" Oz starts taking his shirt off.

Fuck, Damien didn't think about that. Luckily, Oz had his back turned to the demon, so whatever expressions Damien did or did not make are up in the air. Damien could have been scowling, smirking, or blushing uncontrollably, and nobody would ever know.

"It's the right shoulder," Oz speaks and brings Damien back to the present. 

"O-Oh yeah, right," Damien turns his attention to Oz's right shoulder as his face tries to turn back to its natural shade.

Just as Damien's about to ask where, one of Oz's phobias pop up on Oz's bear back and starts pointing.

"I think Hemophobia's trying to show you where the bullet's at," Oz says nervously.

"Yeah, I can see that," Damien slowly places the tip of the blade against Oz's back before slowly pushing it in.

Damien sets his other hand on Oz's opposite shoulder for stability. Unlike normal skin, which Damien has a lot of experience with stabbing and slashing, Oz's black matter body cuts like playdoh and feels completely smooth. It was weird as hell, but so is everything else in Damien and Oz's life so nothing new there. Damien was expecting Oz to flinch or something, but he stays completely still and silent as the blade slips under his skin.

It really hits Damien as he continues with the knife how fucked up this probably looks. It's also that moment when Damien remembers Polly and hot hair are sleeping in the guest rooms. Damien hopes to whatever higher being there is, that Polly doesn't walk out and see this. He'll never hear the end of it.

Damien continues searching around Oz's shoulder for the bullet until he finally hits something hard.

"Ow!" Oz involuntary lets out.

"Crap, are you good Ozzie?" Damien waits for a response before continuing with the knife.

"Y-Yeah, just surprised me is all," Oz answers quickly.

"You sure," Damien is less and less sure of himself as this impromptu surgery goes on, "I don't want to leave any lasting damage or some shit."

"Dames, there's literally no way you  _ could  _ do permanent damage," Oz says reassuringly, "If you want me to finish up though, it wouldn't be a-"

"Fuck that, I got this," Damien growls. He's about to continue, but hesitates, "I  _ can _ keep going right?"

"Yeah, go ahead," Oz tilts his head to the side to leave his shoulder completely exposed.

Damien focuses and slowly starts to maneuver out the bullet with steady hands. Each time he loses the bullet, he curses under his breath before continuing. Oz doesn't flinch once or cry out again, but Damien can tell when he needs to slow down by how Oz sometimes tenses under his grip. The whole process takes little over five minutes, but Damien barely realizes any time at all passed when he pulls out his gooey black knife and a single bullet that he catches in his hand.

Damien sighs in relief, before watching Oz's shoulder sew itself back together with morbid curiosity. It doesn't look as if he's ever even scraped his shoulder, it's unbelievable he just had at least half a dagger stabbed in it.

Damien leans back and inspects his goo covered knife and bullet, "I got the bullet out."

Without turning around, Oz rolls his shoulders and visibly relaxes, "Thanks. That feels so much better. You have no idea."

"Yeah, I would say you'd feel better without a bullet lodged inside your shoulder," Damien rolls his eye as Oz turns to face him.

"Yeah… sorry about that," Oz apologizes.

"For fucking what?" Damien scowls, "I was the one who insisted on helping."

Oz looks like he's about to argue, but a serious glare from Damien stops him.

"Here's the shit you got shot with," Damien offers Oz the goo covered bullet in his hand.

"Thanks," Oz grabs the deadly projective from Damien's hand.

Oz closes his hand around the bullet, squeezes it, then let's go to reveal a perfectly clean, goo-free, bullet.

"Do you want me to clean your knife?" Oz tilts his head in the direction of Damien's sludge covered weapon.

Damien looks at Oz's hand and then back at his knife before standing up, "As cool as you cleaning a knife by grabbing it sounds, I think I'll just wash it off the normal way."

"M'kay," Oz nods, "You already know where the sink is then."

With one last look over his shoulder at a shirtless Oz, Damien retreats to the kitchen as quickly as possible to clean his blade and inwardly groaning. He makes it into the kitchen and starts running his knife under the faucet.

"The dumbass got shot and didn't tell anybody. I swear he's as reckless as me sometimes," Damien grumbles under his breath. The image of Oz sitting on the couch shirtless with both of Damien's hands on his shoulder springs to his mind unprompted, "Stupid dork, being fucking cute and crap."

Damien pauses in his cleaning when he realizes what he said out loud. The demon pinches the bridge of his nose and scowls. 

Why the hell does he keep thinking crap like that?! Him and Oz are friends, probably best friends, but friends nonetheless. So what if Ozzie does a lot of cute crap all the time, supports Damien in whatever he does, tries to make good impressions on everyone Damien knows, has the most badass backstory ever, goes along with the dangerous escapades he drags him along to, and makes Damien smile whenever they hang out?! That doesn't mean- ok, he hears it now. 

Fuck. 

Damien might have a crush on his best friend. 

FUCK! 

Damien has a crush on Oz.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" A ear piercing shriek shatters the quiet of the household along with preventing Damien from having a crisis, "NO,NO,NO,NO,NO! I'M GOING TO DIE A SECOND TIME FOR THIS! I'M GONNA GET ROASTED DEAD BY A DEMON!"

The scream is familiar, and Damien instantly knows it's Polly. Damien growls to himself, puts away his knife, and heads back towards the living room. Not surprisingly, Oz is staring at a part of his wall in shock with no Polly in sight. 

"What the hell happened?" Damien asks annoyed, while pointedly avoiding eye contact with the still shirtless Oz.

"Polly came out here, said some stuff about wanting whiskey, saw me shirtless, screamed some stuff about me already being called dibs on, then screamed again before flying through my roof," Oz repeats the events in shock before looking thoughtful, "I think she thinks we had sex."

Damien stares at Oz for a moment, "...what?"

"I think she was so hungover, that when she saw me shirtless, she thought we had sex," Oz elaborates.

"Yep. That sounds like Polly," Damien shakes his head before looking away from Oz, again, "She's definately horny enough and stupid enough to assume that right off the bat."

"Do I need to go look for her?" Oz asks nervously as he quickly puts his shirt and cardigan back on.

"Pft, no," Damien starts walking towards the door while trying not to watch Oz, "She has her phone so she'll find her way back to… somewhere. She's passed out drunk in much worse places, don't worry."

"Oh, are you going already?" Oz stands up from the couch and walks Damien to the door.

"Yeah, gotta be home soon or my dads are gonna freak the fuck out and crap," Damien shrugs, hoping that his lie works.

"O-Oh, I'm sorry we didn't get to talk about your races tonight," Oz apologizes.

"It's fine," Damien speaks quickly as he opens Oz's front door, "I'll tell you later."

"One more thing actually," Oz says and Damien stops to listen, "I'm bringing Z'Gord to school Monday and I was wondering if you knew someplace I could hide her without the apocalypse happening."

"Yeah, sure, I'll show you in the or whatever," Damien is too antsy to get away from Oz to really digest what he asked.

Oz is surprised by the lack of questioning, but decides Damien is just ready to go back home, "Well, see you at school then. Make sure you get back home on time or your dads will spam me all night. You know they worry."

Without replying, Damien shuts the door in Oz's face before booking it back to Nancy. Once inside the vehicle, Damien turns on the ignition and floors it.

Of course he's having a crisis. He just figured out he has a crush on his best friend and it was when said friend was shirtless. He thinks he played it cool though. God, he hopes so.

It's apparent to anyone that knows Damien that he's not the best at expressing his emotions even if they're simple. If he's upset, he acts angry. If he's worried, he acts angry. Hell, if he's angry, he acts angry.

All logic and reasoning states that Damien should act the same way with this new bundle of confusing warm and fluffy emotions. Logic and reasoning would be correct, because as Damien runs three stop lights in a row, he seems pissed. However, that's all a show to contain the swirling cacophony of different thoughts swarming in his head.

However two things stay in the forefront of Damien's varied thoughts. He needs to get his emotions out in the best way he knows, burning stuff to the ground, and to be as far away from Oz as possible when it happens. Luckily for Damien, there's a police station two cities over that's about to get blown to hell and then demolished because of a trigger happy officer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted this at midnight! I am tired, but inspired!


	29. ~POKEMAN: GOTTA CATCH EM' ALLLL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slayer + Kale + Idiots in love = A GOOD TIME

"So… do you want to tell us what's going on?" Stan LaVey asks his son as he shifts uncomfortably under his fathers' gazes.

All three of the LaVeys are in the throne room, waiting for the real conversation to start. Stan and Lucien LaVey in their thrones, and Damien standing in front of them.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about," Damien crosses his arms and looks away.

"I think you do," Stan sighs, "Why else would you be destroying so much?"

"I fuck people's shit up all the time!" Damien snarls, "It's not anything new!"

Stan raises his eyebrows as his husband speaks, "You're telling us, that you've lit 536 churches, 309 nursing homes, 67 police stations, and 234 orphanages on fire, blown up 5 apartment complexes, 24 abandoned factories, and government base, along with killing 752 people in the blood arena,  _ in the last two weeks,  _ because nothing is going on?"

"I know you destroy public property and break the mortal realm's laws often, but that's a little overkill for nothing, don't you think?" Stan builds off of what Lucien said.

"Did you seriously have somebody count the stuff I destroyed?! That's an invasion of privacy or some crap!" Damien's tail swings side to side viciously.

"We did no such thing," Lucien takes out his phone and shows the screen to Damien, "It's easy to find out when you have connections."

Damien watches a video of himself taken from a helicopter as he literally destroys an entire street. Lucien scrolls and there's video after video of his ramage. They even have a photo of Damien decapitating a man in the blood arena.

"You caused so much damage that the entirety of the government decided to put this under wraps and play it off as a terrorist attack," Stan rubs his forehead in exasperatiom, "You destroyed so many things that they thought it would be easier to blame it on a terrorist attack than to just make you public enemy number one."

"So what? Are you gonna ground me or something? I didn't even get close to being arrested and I didn't show up late for my curfew, so I didn't break any of your damn rules," Damien snarls, wishing he was anywhere else at the moment.

"Damien, we don't want to talk to you because we're in trouble," Lucien shakes his head, "We're worried about you."

"As impressive as not getting arrested after doing something like that is, we're more worried about why you did it," Stan says with concern soaking his features, "That much destruction is uncanny, even for you."

Lucien nods, "The last few days you've been acting strangely. Whenver you aren't out causing chaos you're sulking around the castle. You weren't even upset that they decided to blame your carnage on someone else. Usually you'd be furious."

"So what?!" Damien growls, "It doesn't fucking matter!"

"Damien…" Stan sighs, "We know something's wrong. The last time you acted this way was when you were seven and you're favorite cereal got discontinued."

"I wouldn't compare this to the Sugar Crunch incident, but our point is still the same," Lucien says sincerely, "If you need somebody to talk to, we always have time. We promise tol listen."

Stan nods along with his husband, "Teenage years are hard, we understand. Just know that whatever's going on, you can confide in us. You don't have to, but the option is always there."

"Whatever," Damien pointedly avoids looking at his parents, "Are we done here or do I need to stick around for more sappy shit?"

Stan sighs and Lucien shakes his head fondly, "You can go if you want. We just wanted to talk to you."

Damien scoffs, but doesn't move. He stands in place as his own tail wraps around his leg. Lucien notes that it's the same nervous tick as his husband. Both of the dads wait for their son to speak, if he hasn't already left then he has something on his mind.

"...can you tell me how you two met again?" The words come out quiet and Lucien and Stan barely hear them.

"How we met? We've told you that story plenty of times. Why would you-" 

Lucien elbows his husband and sends him a warning look. Damien's opening up, this isn't the time to scare him off. They both know how difficult he finds expressing emotions other than anger and bloodlust.

"I-I mean, where do we begin?" Stan backtracks, "We were both looking to take over the 8th circle as demon generals."

"The 8th circle was highly contested for back then," Lucien reminices, "It was a constant war for dominance because nobody could trust anyone. Any alliances made were immediately ended with backstabbing."

"We met under the same circumstances. Except, I think you were literally going to stab me in the back weren't you sweetie?" Stan chuckles and looks at his husband.

"There were lots of plans, poison, knives, take your pick," Lucien smiles right back at his husband, "I don't doubt you had a great deal of your own when we first too."

"Well of course I did," Stan shakes his head fondly, "We were both about your age at the time, and we wanted to rule at any price. However, things went awry for the both of us after we started spending time together."

"Turns out, that the most feared general in the 8th circle is quite the romantic," Lucien looks back at Damien and says with a conspiratorial tone, "He asked me to go on a date with him after our first battle. We were both standing on a field of dead corpses when he pulled out a bouquet of white roses to give to me. Of course, I didn't know they were white at the time, they were covered in too much fresh blood."

"What can I say, I wanted it to be special," Stan says blushing.

"I know you did sugar plum," Lucien pats Stan's hand before returning back to the story, "Well, anyways. We started taking over the 8th circle at an alarming rate. While every other general expected us to fall by each other's hand and fall, our bond stayed strong."

"Oh, they hated us for it too," Stan nods, "They absolutely despised how we were able to go so far with an emotion they thought was weak. Our love went against everything the 8th circle stood for at the time."

"When the time came for us to finally take over the entirety of the land, everyone expected our alliance to end with one of us killing the other," Lucien then laughs, "But I was the one who was the hopeless romantic that time. I brought your father out to the burning plain of tormented souls and proposed to him under the blazing light of the hellfire."

"I said yes, of course. We had the last battle for the entirety of the circle on our wedding day," Stan smiles, "We said our vows as we decapitated the sole general that opposed us. It was the last proof the circle needed to prove that our love was what made us strong, not what made us weak."

"We've ruled ever since," Lucien's eyes light up with happiness, "Our relationship made the whole 8th circle reconsider their view. Now, love is one of the most badass things around down here."

Both Lucien and Stan send each other a look of happiness and satisfaction. The only thing in the world they probably love more than each other is their son. Their son, who they just remember, is standing in front of them watching them gush shamelessly. However, instead of scowling or fake gagging like he usually does when his fathers get lovey dovey, Damien looks embarrassed and thoughtful.

"H-How… did you know?" Damien asks quietly.

"Know what?" Stan asks curiously.

"How did you know you liked each other," Damien asks quickly before avoiding eye contact with his dads. All his normal hostility is completely gone.

"Well," Lucien starts slowly, "It's hard to pinpoint a specific moment in time where I realized. We started off as reluctant allies and we just drifted closer together. I started searching your father out in my free time to talk, and started wishing he was with me when I was alone."

Stan nods in agreement, "Whoever said love at first sight exists is a liar. It took a lot of time for me to realize. I had quite the crisis when I finally figured out how I felt too, but then I realized that we were still going to be friends no matter what. If Lucien didn't feel the same way, it wouldn't change anything. We were too close for that."

"He avoided me for three weeks," Lucien pipes up, "I didn't know until years later, but he avoided me for three weeks while he panicked."

"That I did," Stan reluctantly admits, "I was a wreck."

"I thought I offended you!" Lucien laughs, "When we finally met again, I apologized for something I didn't do! You looked at me like I was stupid!"

Damien looks almost hopeful as his parents banter playfully. If his dads started out the same way as him and Oz… maybe, just maybe, things would work out in Damien's favor. The red demon still needs to think about some things, but he doesn't feel the urgent need to go destroy stuff anymore. 

"Thanks. I've got some stuff to go figure out, but I guess this chat wasn't completely useless," Despite Damien's dismissive tone, but his ear to ear grin is a little telling.

"You're welcome," Lucien watches Damien fondly, "Whoever it is definitely lucky."

Damien turns bright pink before urgently retreating out of the room at breakneck speeds. He doesn't want to hear what else his parents have to say.

"We love you!" Stan calls after his son.

"We want grandchildren!" Lucien yells the disappearing blur of red.

The door to the throne room slams shut as Damien flees his embarrassing parents with a pink face. Was he that obvious about why he asked?

Stan stares at his husband in disbelief, "So saying something about how I've told him that story a thousand times will chase him off, but demanding grandchildren is fine?"

"Exactly," Lucien leans back in his throne while his husband shakes his head.

"I love you so much," Stan sighs.

"I love you too, sugar plum."

\-------------------The Next Day------------------

Oz hasn't been able to focus on much the last few weeks. Things have been hectic, and the normal Spooky High antics were starting to get overwhelming on a whole new level. However, Oz refused to burden anyone with his problems. Things didn't go well the last time he did.

After the whole party and bullet debacle, things seemed fine. Amira got over her hangover, Z'Gord and him watched TV when she somehow found a way to download questionable animes, (Probably with the help of a certain phobia) Polly spammed Oz's phone until he explained that did not have intercourse, and Oz texted Damien a couple times, receiving surprisingly plain responses. 

Then Monday rolled around. As Oz headed to school with the totem of a world destroyer securely placed in his void, he was more than a bit on edge. Z'Gord was pumped at the time, and Oz was wary to leave her unattended all day at school.

At this point in knowing the girl, Oz is pretty sure she wouldn't destroy the entire world, but a world with nothing but anime and shipping still isn't preferred to the original. Plus, Oz doesn't even know if she would have control of herself if she got out. Nobody knows what it would be like to be stuck in a totem for thousands of years before suddenly being all powerful again.

Well anyways, Oz met up with Damien and he quickly showed Oz where he could keep the totem before rushing away without much conversation. Oz was a little disappointed by Damien's quick departure, but Z'Gord's excitement overcame Oz's dejected attitude. The hiding spot was a loose tile in the wall with a crack in it that came out to reveal a hole. Oz placed Z'Gord in the hole, quizzed her about what she was to do and not do. Then left the world destroyer to her own devices.

Oz didn't think much of Damien's avoidance at first. However, as the days went by, Oz could barely catch Damien and their interactions became almost rare. To say that Oz was a little hurt would be an understatement. Was it something he said, or did? With two weeks of time to think, Oz came to the conclusion that he freaked Damien out with the bullet thing. How could Oz be so stupid? Of course it would freak Damien out! He pretty much asked the demon to dig through his shoulder with a knife! Why couldn't he just keep his issues to himself and keep everyone else out? It would make things so much eaiser.

Back to now, Oz is leaning against the wall, by himself in the co-ed bathroom, thinking about all the things that could go wrong in the next ten minutes. A stray fireball could hit the tile in the wall that Z'Gord's hidden in and let her out, Oz could accidentally give away her location and cause curious students to go searching, or, even worse, Scott or Polly find it and decide to play catch.

After ten minutes pass and none of Oz's possible scenarios play out, he tries to calm down again and think of something else. Oz never realized how much Damien helped him with his overthinking until he wasn't there to distract him. Who knew that the demon was actually a good influence? 

Sadly, this train of thought immediately brings Oz back to the fact that said demon is apparently avoiding him. Sure, Damien answers his texts and stuff, but the answers are quick and to the point with none of the personality Damien usually shows. No matter how many different types of texts Oz sends, he gets nothing more than a 'cool' or the occasional 'neat.' At some point, Oz stopped because he doesn't want to drive Damien away even further by being clingy. Honestly, if Oz wasn't so set on being worried, he might have realized Damien's been acting like that with everyone.

Some would ask, well, Oz has other friends doesn't he? Why doesn't he hang out with them and calm down? While it is true that Oz is actually rather popular at school for being one of the most helpful and calm monsters, he hates getting into other people's business when he isn't needed, and almost all his friends that are free are the ones extraverted to a fault.

For example, Brian, Vicky, and Amira have their own things going and would be happy to invite Oz, but the stress of their self-endangeding behavior is stressful. Valerie's great to talk to at lunch occasionally, but she has a business to run and Oz can't loiter around all the time. Tate and Violet have their own thing going on, and so does the Coven. Slayer and Dahlia eat together regularly to plan Damien's downfall and have invited Oz to eat with them before, but despite their prompting, Oz really can't help them try to kill Damien and Liam. The interdimensional doesn't really want to talk unless he wants to marry you. Then, there's the wolf pack that's just… well, the wolfpack.

Of course, all this doesn't matter if Oz can't make himself leave the bathroom and head out to socialize in the first place. Lunch is coming up soon and Oz can probably get somebody to talk to him then, if he could only work up the will to leave his own bubble of self-doubt and anxiety.

As Oz goes on to consider everything bad that could happen in the next  _ twenty  _ minutes, someone approaches him.

"Uh, hey. Would you mind moving?" Oz looks up to be eye to eye with a plant person holding his phone out.

"O-oh yeah sure," Oz moves out of the way and the plant person aims their phone at the wall where Oz was standing.

Upon closer expectation, the plant monster is actually someone Oz knows. Well, someone Oz knows of.

"Sorry for interrupting your brooding," Kale pockets his phone before turning to Oz and apologizing sincerely, "I really wanted that Stuart Hogwarth you were standing in front of."

"Stuart Hogsworth..?" Oz asks confused because, what does that even mean?

"Like the Pokeman," Kale tries to answer Oz's question. Kale pauses for a minute before he tilts his head at Oz, "Aren't you Brian and that crazy blue girl from football's friend?"

Assuming Kale means Vicky, Oz nods, "Y-Yeah, that's me. You can just call me Oz though, and you're Kale right?"

Kale seems surprised to be recognized, "Yeah, did Brian talk about me or something?"

"A-Ah, no. Vicky put you on her victory banner," Oz explains.

"...oh yeah. The banner," Kale says neutrally.

"Y-Yeah, the banner," Oz repeats.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Oz. I'm sorry again for interrupting your brooding," Kale shrugs.

"Brooding?" Oz stares at Kale curiously.

"That's what you're doing here everyday right?" Kale tilts his head, "You've been here almost every day for the last week just staring into empty space. I kinda assumed it was like Vera and Liam's judgment corner in the cafeteria."

"I am not brooding," Oz manages to restrain his stutter so he sounds serious, "I'm just… uh… just…"

What is Oz supposed to do? He can't tell this random person about how Oz spends most of his time in the bathroom thinking about all the terrible things that could happen every moment of his life. That would be a very bad first impression, and unlike other monsters at Spooky High, Oz cares about impressions.

Oz tries to come up with something normal, "...I was just thinking?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?" 

"T-Telling you?" Oz answers.

"Wow, okay then," Kale shakes his head a bit, "Has anyone told you that you're a terrible liar?"

Oz winces a little as the phrasing turns his thoughts to Damien, "O-Once or twice."

"So you know that what you said sounded completely fake," Kale smiles, "I'm not gonna pry into your business, but if you're planning something illegal you better avoid talking to anyone about it. You'd be screwed."

"That's not- I wasn't-" Oz thinks of his options and decides a half-truth should be a lot easier for him to pull off without dumping a bunch of problems on a stranger, "I-I just can't deal with all the crazy stuff my friends pull all the time. It's easier to just stay in here where it's quiet sometimes when things get too problematic."

Kale looks pleasantly surprised, and his smile gets a little bigger, "I totally get it. I love our classmates and everything, but sometimes they're just too… intense, intense  _ and  _ horny."

Oz can't help feeling a bit better knowing he's not the only one that gets overwhelmed by the crazy stuff that happens at Spooky High, "They really are, aren't they?"

"They're either causing world destroying events or trying to sleep with robots," Kale jokes.

"There really is no inbetween," Oz forgets about his stress for a minute and chuckles at all the crazy stuff his classmates are undoubtedly doing.

"Y'know, under the bleachers out on the football field is also a great place to hide out when things get rough," Kale says, "I hang out under there and smoke sometimes when I'm not rushing around the school playing Pokeman GO. You seem pretty chill so if you want to join me, I'd be fine with it."

"Thanks, but I can't really smoke anything without a mouth," Oz gestures towards his face, "Plus, I don't know what Pokeman is."

Kale's jaw drops, "Let me see your phone."

"Uh, w-why?" 

"Just let me see your phone," Kale says, and Oz reluctantly hands over his phone.

"D-Do you need to make a call or something?" 

"What? No, I'm introducing you into the magical world of Pokeman GO," Kale says as he rapidly pushes buttons on Oz's phone.

"You still haven't told me what that is," Oz says warily.

The last time Oz let somebody else download something on his phone, Amira accidentally installed a virus. That ended about as well as you would expect.

"It's only the best mobile game ever," Kale says surprisingly monotone with the praises he's spewing, "You can collect all types of Pocket Humans with different professions and stats. You can then get your Pokeman to fight others, you can dress them up, you can breed them, and they even have all kinds of crazy limited time events. In fact, right now they're even having a-"

As Kale continues on about what Oz assumes is his favorite game, Oz considers how Z'Gord is doing. She would probably love a game like this. Before Oz can delve deeper into that rabbit hole, Kale shoves Oz's phone back in his hands.

"I'm assuming you don't need to eat, with the no mouth thing," Kale continues when Oz nods to confirm his words, "I don't need food either, so I'm gonna show you the best Pokeman catching spots during lunch. Come on."

Kale drags Oz out of the bathroom and through the halls of Spooky High to place after place to catch different Pokeman while giving Oz the sacred information of a veteran player. Despite most of the information being useless in the real world, Oz can't help feeling informed. 

"That right there is a Bernard Hensen," Kale points at Oz's phone, "He used to be a chartered accountant, but now he's a world famous potter. He's rare because Pocket Humans almost never follow their dreams."

"They have backstories?" Oz asks with a raised eyebrow and a look of surprise.

"Yep, now you just have to click there and-" Kales points somewhere on Oz's screen and the shadow monster quickly follows his instructions, "There you go! You've now got a high level Bernard Hensen to add to your party now."

Oz stops everything and looks at Kale, "Why did that feel so weirdly satisfying?"

"That's the power of Pokemans GO my friend," Kale smiles, "Now, do you want me to show you where everyone else goes to catch Pokeman."

"Sure, I don't have-" Oz's phone dings and interrupts him, "One second Kale, I just got a text."

**🔥Damien🔥:** did u skip lunch

Oz is hit with an immediate rush of conflicting feelings at the sight of the text. On one hand, this is the first time Damien's texted Oz since the night of the party, and Oz is absolutely floored by the relief of not messing their entire friendship up with his stupidity. The other part of Oz is already listing the millions of ways he could screw up and make Damien despise him for real. However, both parts of Oz's conflicting emotions are overrode by his need to answer texts as quickly as possible.

**FUCKINGNOOB** : Yeah, I'm just hanging out with Kale.

**🔥Damien🔥:** person Kale, or salad kale

Oz can't help chuckling at Damien's obvious try at a joke.

**FUCKINGNOOB:** I'm not hanging out with a salad Damien

**🔥Damien🔥:** k then. Well, tell plant boy to bring you to the catch zone i want to hang out. he'll kno what i mean 

"Uh… do you know Damien?" Oz asks Kale curiously.

"Huh, oh yeah," Kale is already on his phone trying to catch more Pocket Humans while waiting on Oz, "Him, Scott, and I meet up to show-off our Pokemans all the time."

"Well, he wants us to meet him in the… 'catch zone.' Do you know what he's talking about?" 

"The Catch Zone is where I was about to bring you. It's where all the school's players gather to battle and trade," Kale explains then backtracks, "Although I didn't know you and Damien were friends."

Oz tilts his head to the side, "Yeah, we text, talk, and hang out a lot."

"Really?" Kale shrugs, "You seem way too chill to be hanging out with him, but I guess opposites attract."

Oz chuckles, how true that is. Oz is so lucky to have the friends he has. He doesn't feel like he deserves them most of the time.

"Well, come on," Kale gestures to Oz, "If you know much about Damien it's that he doesn't like waiting."

"Y-Yeah, coming," Oz follows Kale, stuck between being worried and excited.

They walk outside, then around the back of the school and behind the newly rebuilt auditorium. Soon enough, they reach their destination, which is really just a cluster of kids crowding around a bench and some bushes. Oz spots Damien and Scott on their phones, along with a horribly hidden Slayer in the bushes behind them. However, despite how awful her hiding is, Damien seems too focused on his phone to notice her. Kale sees the terribly hidden girl as well and sighs.

"If she starts a fight," Kale frowns, "I'm stepping back."

"She seems into RPGs and stuff though," Oz reasons, "Maybe, just maybe, she came to play Pokeman GO?"

"Oh, she's definitely her for Pokeman,'" Kale replies, "But her idea of a friendly battle is screaming out attacks and acting like she's actually in the game. Plus, she's a sore loser most of the time."

After that exchange, Kale and Oz make their way through the group of nerdy kids towards their friends. The moment Damien looks up from his phone, his eyes lock onto Oz and a grins splits across his face.

"Ozzie, get the fuck over here!" Damien shouts and some monsters flinch. Those monsters have good survival instincts.

"Kale! I got a new Pokeman! Come check it out," Scott shouts.

Oz can't help the knot in his stomach. What if he really did mess things up with Damien and he just invited him here to cut ties? What if he freaked him out so much that he decided to tell everyone what he was? What if this all was just a convoluted plan to get his trust in the first place and Damien never-

Damien slings an arm over Oz's shoulder and it knocks Oz out of his internal struggle. Oz's eyes widened just a bit, did he spend the whole time walking over here worrying? He seriously needs to stop spacing out.

"Hey dork," Damien says with more warmth than normal and an indescribable look, "Sorry about not talking to you properly for a couple of weeks. I got caught up in some stupid crap and had to burn some bitches alive."

The weight in Oz's chest lightens drastically knowing it wasn't him that drove Damien away. Even if a tiny voice in Oz's head whispers that he's lying. 

"I-It's fine," Oz tilts his head up at Damien.

Damien rolls his eyes, "You'd say it's fine if I burned your house down… which you did."

Oz can't help snorting, "I never said it was fine! You just assumed it was because I kept hanging out with you."

"So… you're still upset I set your house on fire?" Damien quirks an eyebrow.

"Well, no… it's fine, but-" When Damien smirks Oz realizes he technically just said, "...you're the worst."

"Yeah right, I'm the fucking best," Damien tugs Oz closer, so that they're tightly shoulder to shoulder.

Oz realizes that Scott and Kale haven't been participating in the conversation, and looks up to see the two completely ignoring Damien and him as they chat about Pocket Monsters.

"Kale said you came out here to play Pokeman GO," Oz changes the subject.

"Oh yeah! I have the best fucking team out here!" Damien starts bragging showoffishly, "There's Reginald Bosworth, Alecia Stevens, Mac Dickson, Kristine Colfer, and I even have a Thomas Brown! They're absolute bosses!"

While Damien was talking, Oz reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone to show Damien his Pokemans.

"Kale dragged me around the school and had me catching Pokeman when I told him I didn't know what the game was," Oz shows Damien his phone.

"Holy shit! Kale got you a Wayne Dworkin and you just started playing?!" Damien growls, "Plant boy's been holding out on me!"

"W-Well, he showed me some places around the school and I just got super lucky," Oz shys away from Damien's praise and duck out from under his arm, "I still don't know how anything else in the game works."

"Well then, I'll show you how to train your Pokeman to be badass fuckers just like mine and then we can stomp some idiots into the ground in team battles," Damien smiles with normal bloodlust despite his victims being virtual, "The first thing you're gonna want to do is-"

"STOP RIGHT THERE DEMON!" Slayer finally decides to pop out of the bush she was hiding in and declares her presence.

"Where the hell did you come from?!" Damien shouts and Oz facepalms at his friend's obliviousness.

Scott looks up from his phone and tilts his head at the Slayer curiously. Kale tries to ignore the noise and continues playing his phone.

"I come from the deepest reaches of justice!" Slayer says.

"Damien, she was in the bushes the whole time," Oz actually answers the demon's question.

"Oh, that makes sense," Damien turns back to Oz and ignores the murderous glare of the Slayer as he continues explaining the different battle mechanics to Oz, "The best way to win is to brutally-"

"D-Don't ignore me! YOU CAN'T IGNORE THE PROTAGONIST! THEY'RE THE PROTAGONIST!" Slayer shouts.

"Then what the fuck am I doing right now?" Damien points to something on Oz's phone and explains something quickly, to which Oz only nods in understanding.

"Y-YOU-!" The Slayer sounds pissed, "You JERK! I prepared a speech! YOU CAN'T JUST IGNORE ME!"

"Maybe humoring her will make her go away," Oz suggests to Damien.

"Uhhh!" Damien groans and turns towards Slayer, "Fucking fine! Do your speech or whatever. Just get it over with!"

"Thank you," Slayer nods once before jumping up on the bench and pointing at Damien dramatically, "Your head may belong to that of my ally Dahlia, but before she kills you, I'll shame you til' you want nothing more than the taste of death by her hands!"

"So you aren't... going to try and kill us?" Oz asks curiously.

"W-Well no, but-" Slayer tries to come up with something else to say, "JUST FIGHT ME!"

"Finally," Damien pockets his phone and cracks his knuckles, "With how annoying you are all the time, at least you put up a good-"

"YOU THINK YOU'LL WIN?! MY team is going to OBLITERATE your team!" Slayer whips out her phone and shows her team of Pocket Men.

"Wait, what?" Damien stops and Oz glances at Kale and Scott.

Kale is shaking his head and starts to back up as a small crowd of students gather around to watch the show, Scott included. From the reactions of the crowd, this isn't the first time a battle like has happened.

"YEAH! Battle time!" Scott smiles, "You can win Damien! I'll cheer you on!"

"DAMIEN CANNOT WIN!" Slayer contradicts Scott.

Oz glances to see how Damien's taking the sudden twist, but is surprised to see him smiling even more malicious than earlier.

"YOU'RE ON BITCH! Me and Ozzie are gonna make you eat your words!" Damien grabs Oz and pulls him as close as possible, "We're gonna fuck your team up!"

"Wait, what?" Slayer copies Damien's earlier reaction

Oz is stuck between wanting to blush and panic as he's crushed against Damien's side. 

"Damien?!" Oz hisses, "I don't even know how to fight yet!"

"Shut the fuck up Oz!" Damien says quickly, "With you and me, we got this shit in the bag no matter what!"

"We can't do a double battle!" Slayer is shouting while scowling, "I don't have a teammate, Dahlia's busy right now. That's literally why I'm not trying to murder you right now?!"

"OH! OH! OH! Can I join you! Can I join!" Scott's already begging Slayer to let him compete with his Pocket Monster team.

Slayer seems a little shocked at Scott's insistence, but soon enough recovers and smirks smugly, "Look at this! Your friend is happily betraying you to be on my side! How does that make you feel EVILDOER?! To know how easily your allies can be swayed to my party must hurt!"

"Scott would join a group of furries if they thought they were friendly," Damien rolls his eyes, "Don't treat it like an accomplishment."

"Furries? Betrayal? What does all that mean?" Scott looks worried and confused.

"Don't worry Scott, you're good," Oz sends the werewolf a thumbs up, "We don't mind you playing on Slayer's team."

Scott looks relieved, "Thank goodness! I don't like not being a good boy!"

"Enough of chit chat! I've leveled all my Pokeman up as high as possible and have masterfully bred them to have the best stats!" Slayer smiles, "I'm ready to win and destroy your fickle arrogance under my battle ready boots!"

Damien, Oz, Scott, and Slayer ready their phones before an epic virtual battle commences. The first few round go without casualty, but soon enough, someone falls.

"My Matthew Patricks uses Theory on Scott's Bernard Hensen," Oz says in front of the ever growing crowd.

"Nooo!" Scott shouts as his Pokeman faints, "To avenge his buddy, my Thomas Sanders uses Pun on Damien's Kristine Colfer!"

"Hahah! Comedy type moves are ineffective against College Student types!" Damien laughs, "Kristine's too stressed about student loans and where her life's going to laugh! My Reginald Bogsworth uses Tax Audit!"

"NO!" Slayer shouts, "My Jóse Cortez never saves receipts! It's super effective!"

The battle rages on long and hard. At some point the battle passed the time mark for teenagers' attention spans and most monsters leave to look for more interesting things to watch.

Eventually, Oz and Damien's flawless teamwork starts to wear down Scott and the Slayer's messy cooperation. Despite Oz's earlier worries, he starts to have fun and hopes they win.

When Damien, Slayer, and Scott get down to their last Pokeman things get serious. Oz realizes that despite him being the only person with two Pocket Humans concious, this next round will still be the last either way.

"My Arin Hanson uses Fourth Wall Break!" Scott pauses for a minute, turns towards you, and waves before letting you continue reading this story.

"That move does nothing other than blow your own Pocket Human's mind and incapacitate them! Why would you use it?!" Slayer shouts at Scott in disbelief.

"Hmm?" Scott looks at the Slayer and shrugs before smiling, "To make the readers feel special!"

"What are you even- you know what, nevermind," Slayer turns away from Scott and frowns at Damien and Oz, "My Sean Waltrics uses Engineering Degree on Oz's Walter Higgans!"

Oz watches as he goes from two Pokeman to one. It's Damien's turn next and probably the deciding move.

"I use MURDER on Slayer's Sean Waltrice!" Damien smiles as Slayer's Pocket Human slowly bleeds out on her phone screen, "HELL YEAH! I knew we's fucking… wait, what?! Reginald contracted lymphoma?! It deals 500 physical damage to him and 999 emotional damage to him and his loved ones?!"

Oz leans over to read off Damien's screen, and is surprised to see that's actually what it says. What even is this game? Then, Oz looks to see Damien's Pokeman's condition.

"Why are all your Pokeman so unhealthy Dames?" Oz reads through the list of mental and physical diseases they have, "How are they even alive is a better question."

"I... may or may not, force them all to smoke cigarettes and live next to toxic sewage dumps," Damian looks away from Oz.

Oz stares at Damien a moment before realizing that, yes, you can do that in this game and Damien was an idiot.

"Well, at least we still won because my Angelica Skyler's alive," Oz mentions.

"Oh, yeah," Damien immediately perks up and adopts a smug smirk and looks in Slayer's direction, "Ha! We beat the fuck out of you! You wanna go home and cry to your mama bitch?! I bet she-"

"WOW! Your Pokemans are awesome!" Scott rushes past Damien and smiles at Oz, "That was so much fun! Maybe you and Damien can battle us again sometime!"

"I am not going to be on your team again!" Slayer interjects.

"B-But I have to have a partner to battle with!" Scott frowns and gives everyone present puppy dog eyes.

"I'm sure you could get Vicky to play with you," Oz suggests.

Vicky isn't a big fan of RPGs or roleplay based games, but Oz bets she'll love collecting the tiny humans in game. Plus, Scott and her are already around each other all the time, it would only serve as an extra activity for them.

"VICKY WOULD LOVE THIS!" Scott shouts with a smile, "I gotta go ask her to be my partner!"

Scott sniffs the air and then rushes away as fast as he can in the direction Vicky's probably in. 

"Dammit! What kind of cheats did you two use?" Slayed growls, "Is there some type of couple's bonus in the attack stats you used? You had to have had some type of advantage!"

"Don't be a sore loser just cause you lost to a Pokeman with lymphoma, depression, PTSD, diabetes, multiple-"

"We don't need to need to hear the list," Oz cuts Damien off, "You're Pocket Humans have every contactable disease in existence."

"That's not true. None of them have syphilis!" 

Oz stares at Damien and waits for the part where he-

"...yet."

There it is.

"Gah! How were you able to beat me!" Slayer frowns, "You're a low level enemy, barely a henchman, yet you keep besting me! How can I win?!"

Kale walks up to Slayer from behind and looks at her phone. Oz tilts his head in the monster's direction, he didn't realize Kale was still here.

"You're type match-ups are good and you have high levels, but all your Pokeman are basic tier," Kale points out then suggests, "Maybe you should get some rarer Humans?"

"B-But main characters always have to look plain and completely ordinary! Everyone knows that they have to look basic to get powerful later!" The Slayer just accepts Kale's sudden appearance and continues complaining.

"Well, why don't you keep one basic to be the main character then the others can be his cast," Kale picks his words carefully, "Your team will be much better balanced."

"Your right, random plant NPC! Every main character has flashy friends to help them along!" Slayed starts tapping her phone frantically, "I just need to find the rarest Pocket Humans to add to my team, level them up properly, then nobody will be able to stand against my digital might!"

"Pft, like you would know a rare Pokeman if it hit you face," Damian scoffs.

"What was that?!" Slayer shouts menacingly.

"I said, you wouldn't know a rare Pokeman if it hit you in the face," Damien growls, "Are you deaf or something?"

"Why you-" 

"Hey, maybe we can just calm down and just walk away," Oz tries to mediate before he has to stop another full out fight with Slayer.

Damien crosses his arms and calms down a little to Oz's satisfaction, but Slayer only gets more riled up as she rapidly taps on her phone.

"YOU AND ME ARE GONNA PROVE WHO'S BETTER AT POKEMAN GO RIGHT NOW," Slayer shows all three of the other monsters her phone, "Kohei Horikoshi is the rarest Pokeman available right now. The first to find and capture him is the true Pokeman Master!"

"You've got a deal," Damien growls, "Get ready to cry when I beat you into the dirt!"

"There's one problem with that," Kale pipes up from the sidelines, "Kohei Horikoshi is only found in Japan, so you can't actually get him."

Damien seems unperturbed, but Slayer seems taken aback, "Then how will we prove who's the better Pokeman player?! This can't stay undecided."

"It's too bad we don't know somebody who could bring us to Japan to catch the Pocket monster and then get us back by the end of the day," Damien looks to Oz as if asking him if it was okay to ask him.

"That  _ would _ be perfect," Slayer ponders Damien's words for a second before rounding on Kale, "You seem like a helpful NPC, mist plant. Do you know of anybody with this skill set?"

"Umm, my name is Kale actually," Kale responds politely, "And no, I do not."

Oz considers the consequences of skipping the rest of the school day to take a trip to Japan, but his immediate worry is that something will happen to Z'Gord while he's gone. However, Damien's asking look quickly widdles it's way into Oz's anxiety. The demon's more likely to continue stay around Oz if the monster of fear just does what he asks.

"I can take us there," Oz gets it out quickly.

"What?" Both Kale and Slayer ask at the same time.

"Y-You've seen me shadow jump before Slayer," Oz tries his best to look confident, "I can bring all four of us to Tokyo and you two can have your competition."

"Holy shit! You really are an overpowered enemy!" Slayer's eyes are wide, "Are you sure you want to ally with such a malevolent demon instead of me? I could use yout teleportation magic on so many quests!"

Damien inches closer to Oz and glares at Slayer in a much more bloodthirsty way than usual. Oz is oblivious to the darkened atmosphere and just continues.

"No thank you," Oz politely declines Slayer's request and takes Damien off guard by pushing him into his own shadow.

"Where did he go? Did you just send him-" Slayer takes a step backwards and falls through her shadow, "AHHHH!"

"Do you want to come with us Kale?" Oz asks politely.

Kale's mouth is wide open as he stares at where the Slayer used to be. It takes a moment, but Kale comes to. He mumbles something about Oz being unpredictable, then nods once.

"I wouldn't mind hunting for a Kohei Horikoshi too," Kale smiles a little, "Plus, when am I ever gonna get another chance to visit Japan."

Oz does his best to show how happy he is that Kale's joining them by warning him about the traveling process.

"Just step into your own shadow and you'll be in front of Tokyo Tower," Oz instructs Kale on what to do.

"Okay," Kale starts taking a step backwards, "So does this feel like skydiving, or does- WOAH!"

Oz slowly sinks into his own darkness after Kale dissappears before manifesting across the world behind Damien, Slayer, and said plant peeson in Tokyo City.

"Wow," Kale says as he looks around at the huge skyscrapers and people rushing around.

"I didn't plan on hunting monsters internationally until I graduated," Slayer starts, "But this is making me reconsider."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Damien shrugs, "The city is beautiful and shit. You guys can stay here and gawk while I get myself a rare Pokeman and win the right to be called a fucking Pokeman GO master!"

Damien starts speed walking away from the group and only pauses a second to gesture for Oz to follow him. Having already seen millions of places all over the world, Oz isn't that caught up in the view. He moves to follow Damien and grabs Kale and Slayer by the arms.

"Tokyo is huge. I don't want anybody to get lost, so it's better for us to stick together," Oz explains as he tugs Kale and Slayer along, much to Damien's displeasure.

The next four hours are spent searching for the super rare Kohei Horikoshi all around. The four scour the Tokyo shopping center, search their way through several ancient shrines and temples, somehow end up at the top of mount Fuji, and they even break into the imperial castle at some point. When Slayer and Damien's stomachs start growling to an unbearable extent, Oz drags the four of them to a cat cafe to eat. 

They only allowed in because Damien's language of violence is universal and can be understood by anyone. Well, that and the fact Slayer kept bags of solid gold coins on her. They take a break from Pokeman hunting and are happily attacked by fluffy cats. Damien especially, since he's technically a giant heater. Oz definitely didn't take pictures of the demon covered in a mountain of cats. Oh, and the Slayer gives them the right to call her by her first name, Aaravi. Well, everyone except Damien, who couldn't care less and forgets it whst she said in record time.

After the cafe, they get right back to work. However, when another hour of searching passes, Slayer and Damien end up sitting on a park bench thinking about their mortality, while their two friends continue searching for the rare Pokeman on each moping monster's respective phone.

"Why is Kohei Horikoshi so hard to find?" Damien growls as he looks down at his feet, "He shouldn't be this hard to find."

"It's because a sociopath created this game and they knew somebody would search all over Japan and drive themselves mad," Slayer looks up at the sky in anguish, "It's an unbeatable quest."

"Found it!" Kale's voice rings throughout the park.

Both Damien and Slayer are up in a flash and the moment of peace is over. They start pushing each other as they sprint through the park in the direction of Kale's voice.

"Get out of my way bitch!" Damien attempts to trip Slayer.

"You are the one who should get out of my way!" Slayer shoves Damien.

They speed through the part to find Kale and Oz side by side. Damien and Slayer crowd the plant boy on both sides as they watch him convince a Kohei Horikoshi to join his party. When he succeeds, they both grab at the phone and before long they're wrestling on the ground over the phone.

"I told you not to call them," Oz sighs, "We should have just caught both of them, then said something."

Both the monsters on the ground freeze and stare at Oz. 

"THERE'S TWO?!" They both yell at the same time.

Oz shows them Damien's phone and the screen shows a tiny Kohei Horikoshi smiling.

Damien and Slayer glare at the phone before locking eyes. Damien drops Slayer's phone and lunges for Oz. He grabs him with one arm and his phone with the other. Oz is practically gets shoved into Damien's chest in the process, which sets Oz's face aflame.

"I GOT IT! HAHA! YOU LOSE SLAYER! FUCK YOU!" Damien shouts in triumph.

With everything going on, Oz barely notices Damien's tail wrapping around his thigh. Oz's gets more flustered than should ever be possible.

"I LOSE?! I GOT IT FIRST FAKER!" Slayer shouts right back.

"WHAT?! ARE YOU BLIND?! LOOK AT MY PHONE! I GOT IT FIRST!" 

Kale looks between the fighting monsters and despite not wanting to get involved with their argument, drops the truth bomb.

"Technically, neither of you got it," Kale explains calmly, "Me and Oz caught them."

The moment of realization hits both Damien and Slayer like a truck. They both go dead silent before Slayer tucks into the fetal position on the ground. Damien would have done the same thing if Oz wasn't there supporting him.

"Seven hours…" Slayer whispers, "Seven hours and we didn't get it. Neither of us wins…"

Oz glances at Damien and knows that if he gets more than five minutes to process what just happened, the Japanese Government won't stand a chance against his fire magic. Oz pulls his own phone out of his pocket and types a number into his phone he's never used before and hands it to Kale. Oz doesn't plan leaving Slayer in the middle of Japan, and if anyone knows where Slayer lives, it would be her.

"Ask the person on the other line where Slayer lives," Oz instructs Kale, "I have a feeling the both of them are a bit comatose right now and she's the only one that might know."

Kale puts the phone to his ear and starts speaking, "Uh, hello? This is Kale. I'm talking on the phone for Oz. He wants to know where Slayer lives. He said you would probably know?"

There's a buzzing on the other end as Dahlia answers.

"Oh, ok. Thanks, we really needed to know," Kale hangs up the phone and hands it back to Oz.

"Well, tell me her address and I can get you three home," Oz sighs, and looks at Damien, who's seemingly broken.

"You are one of the strangest people I've ever met," Kale deadpans, "And I go to Spooky High with a bunch of crazy people."

"Yeah," Oz drops Damien through a shadow and into Oz's house, "I'll take that as a compliment."

\------------------------Extra--------------------------

♡~At the Cat Cafe~♡

"Why the fuck did we choose to eat here?" Damien growls as he slouches in their booth with his arms crossed.

Kale and Damien sit on one side of the booth while Oz and Slayer sit opposite of them. While Kale, Oz, and the Slayer are petting a few cats, with Oz being the most popular petter, the felines avoid Damien like the plague.

"Because you two got hungry and started arguing about where we should take a break at, so me and Oz had to decide for you," Kale replies, "Plus, cats are cute."

The café Oz and Kale chose definitely wasn't something the other two students would ever pick. The place's entire color scheme was made up of pastel pinks, blues, and yellows with bright lighting and cute posters. If a certain deity of the dark realm was here, she would describe the shop as Kawaii adorableness given form. 

So… in summary, the shop was the exact opposite of where anyone would expect Damien and the Slayer to be. 

"I don't mind this place. My weapon smith is a cat person so I'm partial to the feline family," Slayer shrugs as she sips the tea she ordered happily.

Oz tilts his head up as he pets a calico in his lap, "Are you talking about Valerie?"

"Oh, you know V? She always gets me weapons with the best stats," Slayer smiles genuinely, "They cut through monsters like butter, and give me hella buffs."

Kale chuckles, "Of course that's how you know her. When aren't you planning someone's demise Slayer?"

"Destroying all of monster kind is my ultimate goal!" Slayer sounds intimidating, but the cat purring under her hand lessens the effect, "Oh, also, you and Oz can just call me Aaravi when we're just hanging out."

Oz looks up from the two cats at his feet with wide eyes, "W-What? Why? Don't you consider us to be enemies or something?"

"Hmph, well, you're both very useful players and I would like to get you to transfer to my party," Slayer shrugs while she eats some of her chocolate croissant.

"What?" Oz still looks confused.

"There's this show about three witches that look suspiciously like the Coven, where their enemies end up switching to their side mid-season. I figure as long as I don't have anything against you, you'll eventually defect to my team," Aaravi says logically, "Kale is practically my friend already and the only thing I have against you Oz, is that barbaric demon and snobby vampire you associate with. By the way, the grumpy dipshit over there does not get to call me by my name."

"Like I'd want anybody to think I'm buddies with you," Damien huffs, "You're whole video game thing is annoying as fuck, and it'll be a sunny day in hell when Oz decides to join your little 'party' you keep talking about."

"It's not my fault you're too stupid to understand simple team mechanics and logic," Slayer frowns, "It only makes sense he'll get tired of your behavior eventually."

"You think I'm dumb?!" What Slayer said hits a nerve with Damien and the only reason he hasn't decked her is because of Oz being present, "You're the one who compares real life to some crap RPG!"

"Hm, somebody's grumpy none of the cats like him," Aaravi rolls her eyes, "Maybe if you get a better personality sometime soon, living things will find you bearable enough to interact with."

"Screw you!" Damien snarls, "I'm a goddamn pleasure to be around you Van-helsing looking bitch! Tell her Oz!"

"Huh?" Oz looks like a deer in the headlights as an orange cat bats at the phobias popping up on his arm, "What did you say? This little guy distracted me."

The accused cat glances at Damien, Kale, and Slayer before pointedly hissing at them and scurrying away for interrupting its fun. The phobias on Oz's arm that were playing with the cat squeak in disappointment before melting away.

"I was just saying how the angry strawberry over there is grumpy about no cats wanting  _ his  _ attention," Aaravi answers.

Oz chuckles a little and looks at Damien, "I'm sure the cats are just wary of you because you keep shouting. They don't like loud noises."

Damien looks away from Oz and scowls, "We weren't actually talking about-"

"I'm sure that even if Damien was quieter than a dead fish these cats would still hate him," Aaravi scoffs.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" Damien shouts, "I COULD MAKE THESE CATS FUCKING LOVE IN TEN MINUTES FLAT!"

"Damien…" Oz sighs.

"Really?" Aaravi scoffs and sets a timer on her phone, "Prove it."

"FUCKING FINE!" Damien shouts before going completely silent.

The timer starts to slowly tick down on Aaravi's phone, and Damien glares at each cat that comes relatively close to him. Of course, Damien's deadly aura and glares only cause the brave cats to think better and rush over to be pet by Oz, Kale, and Aaravi. Five minutes pass and Damien looks ready to explode.

"Uh… hey, it's not that big of a deal if cats don't like you Dames," Oz tries, "Some animals just aren't fond of certain people. For example, when I walk into a zoo, all the animals hide."

"Yeah," Kale continues, "Not everyone is an animal person."

"Don't fucking patronize me!" Damien says loudly. Aaravi raises an eyebrow at the demon and Damien realizes he just scared all cats away from their table, "FUCK!"

The time continues to pass and just when things seem completely helpless, a gray cat with a x shaped scar over it's right eye struts up to the demon. Without any hesitance, the cat jumps up in Damien's lap, kneads on his legs, and lays down. Damien stares at the cat with something similar to shock before glancing up in panic.

"What do I do now?!" Damien hissed.

Aaravi looks close to bursting out in laughter, but Kale keeps a calm head and helps the demon, "Just pet it."

Slowly, Damien lowers his hands onto the cat. After a few experimental strokes, the cat starts to purr. Staying completely quiet Damien sends Aaravi the most smug shit eating grin known to man. It just radiated 'I told you so' energy.

Suddenly, the cat in Damien's lap sits up and glances around the café. The cat lets out one loud yowl before returning to its original position. Almost all the other cats in the restaurant stop what they're doing and stare at the cat that just made a loud noise. All said cats start to cross the room at a leisurely pace towards Damien. 

"What the hell," Damien murmurs as the cats close in.

The first one to the table leaps up and curls up next to the original cat on Damien's lap. The next two take spots next to the demon's thighs. More and more felines crowd the demon until he's practically buried in fluffy fur. Damien desperately looks towards Kale and Oz for some type of advice. 

Aaravi is the first person to react, "Pft, HA! You really showed me didn't you tomato boy?! What are you, some type of cat deity or something?!"

"Shut up!" The loud shouting that scared the cats away earlier is now completely ignored, "Why are they doing this?!"

"Don't demons have fire stomachs?" Kale asks, "If so, you probably feel like a giant heating pad to them."

"What?!" Damien growls, "How do I get them to stop?!"

"You don't," Kale deadpans, "Accept your fate."

Damien scowls at the plant person and turns to his other friend, "Ozzie, you're not a complete idiot, what do I do?!"

To his surprise, Oz has his eyes closed and has his hand over where his mouth would be while he stays completely silent. Damien has a feeling he knows what the dork's doing.

"Goddamn it Oz! Don't laugh at me!" Damien shouts, "I'm in a situation right now!"

"I-I'm, pft haha, sorry," Oz takes his hand off his face, "Y-You're right, it's not funny- it's just- haha!"

Oz finally bursts out laughing and Aaravi joins in. Kale chuckles a little too. Damien should be burning the whole café to the ground at this point, but certain things stop him. One would be the cats restraining his arms and legs, and the other is much more of why he restrains his killing urges.

Damien slouches farther into the pile of cats as he listens and watches Oz try to stop laughing. His face heats up a little and Damien can't help thinking he wishes the dork would laugh like this more often. The demon makes the executive decision to suffer through the embarrassment so he can just enjoy the sound. 

Just when everyone's about to calm down, the gray cat from earlier sits up again and glances at Oz before looking at Damien with an almost knowing look. The other cats seem undisturbed by the original cat's movement.

"Oz, the cat's looking at me-" Damien is cut off by the gray cat putting its paw over the demon's mouth with a meow.

Aaravi starts laughing full force again and Kale looks on with absolute and complete shock and amusement. Oz takes one look at Damien before instantly whipping out his phone and letting the camera flash. The moment the light on the phone flashes, the gray cat lays back down with a satisfied purr.

"Did you just take a fucking photo?!" Damien screams with pink cheeks, "Delete that right now!"

"No!" Aaravi shouts, "Never delete that!"

Oz looks between his two murderous friends conflicted. He glances at Damien and then down at his phone.

Damien knows Oz is actually having an internal panic about what to do and sighs begrudgingly, "You can keep the damn photo if you promise not to send or show it to anybody else."

Oz's face immediately lights up as he pockets his phone. A phobia even pops up on his shoulder to subtly celebrate his victory. Knowing Oz, the dumbass probably doesn't even realize what the little shit's doing. 

"I promise," Oz nods in satisfaction and pleasure.

"What?! No! I need that for blackmail and other murderous schemes," Aaravi pauses then continues, "And maybe send it to a friend of mine that really hates the LaVey family and would find me cool for sending her a photo of her enemy being vulnerable."

Damien ignores whatever reply Oz gives in favor of focusing on the warm feeling in his gut. Who knew that Oz wanting to keep his photo so much would make Damien so happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to be the very best,  
> Like no one ever was.  
> To catch them is my real test,  
> To train them is my cause!
> 
> (I will travel across the land,  
> Searching far and wide.  
> Each Pokeman to understand  
> The power that's inside!)
> 
> Pokeman!  
> Gotta catch em' all!
> 
> It's you and me,  
> I know it's my destiny!
> 
> Pokeman!
> 
> Oh, you're my best friend,  
> In a world we must defend!
> 
> Pokeman!  
> Gotta catch em' all!
> 
> (A heart so true,  
> Our courage will pull us through!)
> 
> You teach me and I'll teach you,
> 
> Po-ke-man!  
> Gotta catch em' all!  
> Gotta catch em' all!
> 
> Every challenge along the way,  
> With courage I will face!  
> I will battle every day,  
> To claim my rightful place!
> 
> Come with me, the time is right,  
> There's no better team!  
> Arm in arm, we'll win the fight,  
> It's always been our dream!
> 
> Pokeman!  
> Gotta catch em' all!
> 
> It's you and me,  
> I know it's my destiny!
> 
> Pokeman!
> 
> Oh, you're my best friend,  
> In a world we must defend!
> 
> Pokeman!  
> Gotta catch em' all!
> 
> (A heart so true,  
> Our courage will pull us through!)  
> You teach me and I'll teach you,
> 
> Po-ke-man!  
> Gotta catch em' all!
> 
> Gotta catch em' all!
> 
> Gotta catch em' all!
> 
> Gotta catch em' all!
> 
> Gotta catch em' all!
> 
> Pokeman!  
> Gotta catch em' all!
> 
> It's you and me,  
> I know it's my destiny!
> 
> Pokeman!
> 
> Oh, you're my best friend,  
> In a world we must defend!
> 
> Pokeman!  
> Gotta catch em' all!
> 
> (A heart so true,  
> Our courage will pull us through!)  
> You teach me and I'll teach you,
> 
> Po-ke-man!  
> Gotta catch em' all!
> 
> Gotta catch em' all!  
> Po-ke-man!
> 
> {Yes, I copied the entirety of the Pokemon theme into the notes for the lolz.}


	30. Totem Tricks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Polly and Miranda have a good time.  
> Oz and Damien, not so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Panic Attack

Damien stares up at his bedroom ceiling as he considers his situation. The crazy trip to Japan just solidified his conclusion. Damien absolutely has a crush on his best friend. His stuttering, awkward, and absolutely adorable, best friend that literally brought him to Japan, so Damien could fight someone over a video game. Like, how fucking hot is that?!

When Damien first accepted that he might have feelings for a certain creature of fear, it opened up a lot of doors that weren't open before. It's these possibilities that Damien finds himself pondering as he finalizes his feelings for the umpth time.

Did Damien really want to do all that sappy couple shit with someone? No, that crap's stupid. Yet, he couldn't deny the fuzzy feeling in his chest at the idea of him and Oz holding hands, going on cheesy dates, and doing all said sappy shit together.

Did Damien even want to kiss the dork? Maybe... just- gah, who's he kidding?! The thought sent his face pinker than pink and a goofy smile to his lips. It would be fucking awesome knowing that Ozzie would only show his lips to him, and that Damien would be the only, and probably first, person allowed to kiss him.

Then, there was the big question, did Damien want to fuck him? Sue the prince of hell for asking, but he has the sex drive of an actual demon and that's a legitimate concern for him. Well, it's not  _ that  _ much of a concern considering his immediate response. 

If Damien was pink earlier, then he's dark magenta now, as his traitorous brain supplies too many images to process properly. Damn, how did he not notice how much he liked Oz before. In retrospect it seems obvious how much Damien's fallen head over heels. Seriously, how was he so oblivious until now? He must be dense as hell.

Despite the ever growing problem between his legs Damien can't help smirking smugly. He is  _ so _ going to woo the fuck out of Ozzie; he's got this love thing in the goddamn bag. Damien's already fantastic at seducing people, surely this falls under the same category, right?

...yeah, he was wrong. Very, wrong.

Damien decided seduction absolutely does not fall under the same category as normal courting as the days go on. What made him think it was? He chalks it up to impulsiveness and ignorance. Call Damien if you want advice on getting laid, but don't expect him to know how to start a long healthy relationship in a normal way. He's barely even had to ask for sex before, so asking someone out on a regular ass date is a foreign concept to him entirely.

Now some might be thinking, what in the world did Damien do to realize this, and how hard has he screwed up this time? Surprisingly however, Damien's done nothing wrong. This is a part of his problem actually, because he's done nothing, at all, to further his goal.

Damien eats lunch with Ozzie and they have the normal everyday Spooky High adventures like normal. The only thing that might have changed is Damien being a bit more clingy and standoffish around his crush. Which isn't really noticeable to anybody except the people who know Damien, and those people just shrug it off. 

Afterall, most think the fiery demon to be furious and bloodthirsty in every sense, who would guess the cause of his actions to be so innocent? 

Damien's rage and violence might be forthfront at almost all times, but he feels other emotions just as much, if not worse because of his difficulty of expressing himself. When Damien's happy, he's ecstatic, when he's sad, he's devastated, and love is no exception to this rule of thumb. It's what causes him to be a lot more considerate about his approach to the new emotion while also being extremely passionate about things turning out right. 

However, on the first day of his endeavor, Damien realized how badly he needed to switch tactics. He had walked into the lunchroom with no plan whatsoever and sat down next to Ozzie who immediately turned his attention to Damien. It gave said demon immense satisfaction to have all the Oz's attention so quickly, but he stopped short at whatever he was going to say.

Damien is  _ not _ going to say what he usually does at clubs to gain Oz's affections. It would not only scare the dork away, but Damien can honestly say it would have been way too embarrassing in these circumstances to actually say. The demon covers up his awkward start with a rant about getting detention to which Oz just suggests skipping. It's great advice, and Damien takes all the extra time he gets from skipping to rethink his strategy.

Damien realizes how inept he is at the whole wooing thing and figures he has two options. He could suck up his pride, ask his friends for advice, and deal with every scathing tease they could think of in exchange for advice, or he could do his own research on how this crap worked and keep his dignity. Let's just say, Damien rented a lot of cheesy romance movies, games, and novels for research purposes.

After watching about five movies, Damien thinks he got the gist of how to properly get Oz to like him. It was actually kind of weird how many steps already seemed to have taken place on the way to romance. The wacky first encounter where both the protagonists meet for the first time, the weird friend group accident that leads to introductions, the secret sharing, and even the whole highschool setting almost seem pulled directly from one of the cheesy films or games.

After hours of soaking up info, Damien thinks he knows what to do now. Ozzie and him need to have some type of bonding experience that makes them both realize they have feelings for each other. Of course, since Damien already knows he likes Oz it's a little off, but he figures not everything in the movies can be copied exactly. All he needs is to make sure Oz is completely lovesick before he asks. Not because Damien thinks he'll get rejected, no way. He just wants to be sure he doesn't make a fool of himself.

However, this created another problem. How's Damien supposed to create an event like that? The movies always portray them as random and spontaneous. Random… and spontaneous. Fuck, Damien's dumb. Spooky High is the definition of random and spontaneous! All he has to do is wait and something will happen! It's the perfect plan!

Too bad Damien's terrible at being patient. 

Day after day, Damien waits for something to happen that'll push the two of them together in a way that'll assure Oz's affection towards the demon. Day after day, Damien gets more frustrated as Spooky High stays unusually uneventful. Day after day, Damien continues to fall for his dorky best friend as he talks about stuff like making créme brûlée with a blowtorch in the baking club and how his totem friend Z'Gord has been forcing him to watch cartoons religiously.

That's another thing Damien finds alluring about Ozzie. Who else would keep the damn totem of a Eldritch Abomination destined to destroy the entire world as their roommate? Ozzie is the only monster bold enough to pull a move so fucking rad. Even cooler, Oz found a way to befriend said world destroyer and tempt her into submission by hiding her in the walls at school.

Little did Damien know that Z'Gord would be the one to bring Oz and Damien closer together in the near and far future when the very event he's been waiting for comes into fruition. It's a couple days later when Damien's spending a rare moment away from Oz while eating lunch.

"Uhhhhh, everything's been so boring lately!" Polly floats upside down and shouts at Damien, "There've been like zero life threatening events, no wacky adventures, and even the raves outside are getting predictable! It's soooo lame! Am I right or am I right boo?!"

"Huh? What the fuck did you say?" Damien looks up from his meal and up at Polly, "I wasn't listening to whatever crap you were spouting."

Damien was too busy thinking about the best way to stab the three headed teacher in mathematics that keeps giving him homework, and if decapitated heads can be considered romantic if given as a gift. Damien was leaning towards the no side with a bit of hesitance.

"God! Even you're being all boring lately!" Polly ignores Damien's question and just gets more worked up, "You've been so chill! You're not supposed to be chill! You're supposed to kill and burn people for chaos Damien! For chaos while I party!"

Damien rolls his eyes, "I have more important crap to do than burn stuff to ashes right now."

Polly looks completely awed, "Did you- you just said- oh my god?! DAMIEN LAVEY JUST SAID THEY'RE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS THAN ARSON AND VIOLENCE?!" 

Any students that were alarmed by Polly's sudden shouting, turn back to their own business when they hear her words. They assume Polly must be on some nasty drugs because there is no way the school's local demon boy would say that.

"Shut the fuck up Polly!" Damien scowls and covers his ears, "I don't need everybody in the sixth dimension to know what I said too!"

"You- you-" Polly suddenly lunges at Damien and grabs both his shoulders, "WHO ARE YOU?! Where's the real Damien! You might have his cussing and attitude down, but your clone acting is terrible!"

"Polly, if you don't let go of me right now, I will find a way to fucking beat the crap out of you. I don't care if you're a ghost, violence finds a way," Damien growls and his eyes narrow.

Polly stares at Damien for a few seconds before floating backwards and sighing in relief, "Thank god you're back! I think some pacifist ghost possessed you for a moment there! You will never guess what they made you say! They said-"

"Polly," Damien right eye twitches, "I did not get possessed by some ghost bastard, I do not have some retarded clone, and before you say it- No, I did not get cursed with lameness by my great great ancestors for burning their graves."

"But you said that you had more important things to do than light things on fire! How could  _ you  _ say that!? Are you sick or something?" Polly floats forward and sets a hand on Damien's forehead before said demon slaps it away.

"I am not sick Polly!" Damien snarls in frustration, "What's your deal?! I just said I've been busy doing something lately! There's no need to have a damn aneurysm about it!"

Polly looks mentally broken, "How?? Why??? What could be more important than fire and violence to you?!?! That's like your life!"

"One, whatever the hell I do is none of your business, and second, I don't have to-" 

"Umm, Damien?" There's a familiar voice in Damien's head that immediately puts him in a better mood.

Damien turns around to see the person the voice belongs to and crosses his arms, all hostility towards Polly forgotten, "Sup Ozzie! What's up, I thought you were hanging with Kale today?"

"W-Well, I was, but umm… something happened," Oz trails off when he sees Polly, "C-Can we go somewhere else and talk in private? It's pretty important."

Damien looks at Oz, really looks. Most would just take his nervous behavior as normal, but Damien is disturbed to find he's acting the same way he was after the orc disaster a couple months back. Damien is immediately put on edge and ready to kill whoever caused his Ozzie to get so worked up.

"Sure," Damien turns to Polly quickly, "I got things to fucking do."

"~Okay," Polly's smirk and eyebrow wiggle sends dread to Damien's stomach before she even before she starts whispering, "I'm assuming Oz is the thing you're 'doing,' along with what you've been so  _ busy  _ with."

"Screw off," Damien hisses and flips Polly off while blushing, "Go get wasted and get off my ass!"

Polly's only response is a smirk, and a fit of giggles. Damien sends the poltergeist one last scalding look and scowl before turning to Oz and instinctively calmingdown.

"So, where do you wanna-" 

Before Damien can finish talking, Oz grabs his hand and tugs him out into the hallway and away from the cafeteria as fast as possible. Damien is still processing the fact that they're holding hands when Oz abruptly stops.

Damien looks at Oz curiously for some type of explanation, but the only response he gets is the grip on his hand tightening. 

"Ozzie," Damien says softer than he's ever said anything else in his life, "What's wrong?"

"It's gone," The grip on Damien's hand tightens further and Oz somehow looks pale despite having pitch black skin, "Z'Gord's totem is gone."

\------------Back in the Lunchroom--------------

Polly watches Damien get dragged out of the cafeteria by his soon to be boyfriend. She can't help laughing at the two's absolute stupidity. Polly literally tried to snort pencil shavings before and even she can see the obvious chemistry between the two. She's just waiting for the day they both walk out of the bathroom with hickies and finally decide to become official. Then again, maybe Damien will actually do something romantic and confess like a normal person! Polly snickers at her own thoughts, yeah right, like that would ever happen.

"Dearest friend Polly!" Miranda calls as she enters the cafeteria while being carried by her serfs, "You will never believe what I found!"

Polly smiles ear to ear. The universe must have heard her cries and awarded her with exactly what she wanted! A Spooky High adventure to escape the prison of boredom.

"What did you find? WAIT! Don't tell me! I'll guess!" Polly floats to Miranda, "Was it drugs, laxatives, cocaine!? Oh, huh, cocaine's considered a drug isn't it? You know what? Forget it, just tell me what you found!"

Miranda patiently waits out her friend's rant in favor of pulling out a totem with tiny wings and iridescent eyes. Polly's attention latches onto said totem and her eyes light up.

"That, is, the cutest thing, I've ever seen," Polly floats even closer to Miranda to get a good look at the probably ancient artifact.

"Yes, I know," Miranda nods at her totem with a type of fondness a young girl has for a new doll, "Isn't it such an adorable little prison totem? I bet the widdle deity inside is even cuter."

"That's just logic!" Polly gushes as the totem glows a shade of red similar to blushing, "If the outside is pretty, then the inside must be gorgeous!"

"I don't think it's quite logical. I've seen the inside of many pretty looking serfs, but they're all just red and yucky," Miranda says thoughtfully.

"Hey! Stop using reasonable examples on me!" Polly frowns before perking back up just as quickly, "I need to know where you found this right now!"

"Well," Miranda starts, "Dahlia and that Slayer girl were participating in some barbaric thing called 'sparring' in the middle of the hallway. I was about to leave when one of them launched Edwardo, my sleeping serf, into a wall and woke him up. I was about to punish the disobedient serf for not staying unconscious, when I noticed a wall panel had been dislodged and this sweetie was inside."

"Really?! That's so crazy!" Polly pauses for a second, "You know what we need to do now Miranda?!"

"What?" Miranda tilts her head curiously.

"We need to pamper this sweet little girl/boy until we're BFFs!" Polly shouts.

"Great idea Polly! Pampering serfs, come here!" Two seals flop out from under a table and make their way to the two gals and their totem, "I want you to use your best techniques on us and our new best totem friend!"

The serfs holding Miranda up, slowly lower her to be sitting at Polly's original table as the seals bark to each other before getting to work. Z'Gord's totem gets polished by one seal, and Polly and Miranda gush about their new adorable deity while getting manny petties from the other.

The rest of the day is spent with Miranda and Polly rushing around the school while conveniently avoiding Oz and Damien. The two girls bond with their adorwable trapped abomination in many ways. Z'Gord melts the eyes of one of Miranda's 'unworthy' suiters, entertains Polly by unleashing a multitude of unholy sounds, destroys a couple of annoying students, and many other things that would fit in one of those silly highschool montages. All of these happy school mishaps distract Z'Gord from the constant shouting of her worried roommate and allow her to lose track of time entirely. Well, that is until three mean girls try to ruin her fun.

"FAITH! HOPE! OVER HERE! IT'S THE TOTEM!" Polly and Miranda look up just in time to see the three witches of the Coven rush together from different directions.

"Noooo," Polly groans, "Leave us alone, evil clones! You're interrupting our sun bathing!"

Sure enough, Polly and Miranda are getting fanned by serfs as they recline outside in the sun. Z'Gord has her own chair and even has a tiny pair of sunglasses courtesy of both her new mortal friends. The Coven seems unperturbed.

"We have been searching for the totem in your possession for weeks," The three witches declare at the same time, "The cat girl known as Valerie foolishly sold it to an undisclosed patron and we were left with no clues. You two are amazingly lucky to have found it for us before Z'Gord ended the world!"

"How unconventional," Miranda comments, "Why would you want our totem so much when many others are surely for sale?"

"Don't ask them Miranda!" Polly jumps out of her chair and frowns, "Now they're going to start mono-"

"We're glad you asked!" The three girls cut Polly off, "That totem is the prison of none other than Z'Gord! She's the former ruler of the dark realms, feeder of insanity, destined to destroy the world and all its inhabitants! If she's allowed to continue existing, the entirety of human and monster kind will cease-"

"I feel terribly rude to interrupt, but I must ask how much longer this story of yours continues," Miranda stands up beside Polly.

"It never ends that quickly," Polly's eyes light up as she looks at Miranda, "Hey, I bet I could get drunk by the time they're finished talking, what do you think Miranda?"

"Well, as this conversation is going, we might need to defend our new dearest friend from these vexing peasants," Miranda frowns, "I believe it's better to stay unintoxicated just in case."

"Will you two be quiet!" The Coven interrupts, "We're warning you that your totem might very well endanger the universe. We insist on you handing it over so we can dispose of the threat!"

"What?!?" Polly quickly floats in front of Z'Gord's chair defensively, "You can't take our friend! So what if they're a creature of ultimate destruction! They've been here for us when no one else has!"

"Yes! When one of my eating serfs attempted to run away, li'l buddy forced them to make-out with another serf as punishment," Miranda smiles in fond remembrance, "Who else would force serfs to make out for me?! Nobody but this totem!"

"What Miranda said! Totem is totally the best and can do all kinds of crazy awesome stuff!" Polly shouts, "We are not letting you take our friend!"

"I- we- you did hear what we said, right?" When the two girls nod, the Coven is dumb struck, "Wow, literally everytime we think you guys can't make worse choices… you somehow… make worse choices."

"Quick! Miranda, what can we do to get rid of these potential kidnappers?!" Polly shouts.

"Look, that totem contains an all powerful-"

The Coven get interrupted by Miranda, "I don't know Polly! What do we do?!"

The Coven takes a few steps unnoticed steps forward while the girls try to figure out a plan. However, the Coven's attempted sneakiness is seen by the same totem they're trying to take. Z'Gord's totem growls, which sounds like the screams of thousands of innocents suffocating to death. The jaws of the totem unhinge and a swarm of wasps fly out and in the direction of the three witches. Everyone goes silent a minute as it dawns on them what's about to happen.

"TACTICAL RETREAT!" The Coven yells altogether before sprinting away from the swarm, "Ow! One stung me! Get away, get away! No, no, no, no!"

Miranda and Polly watch as the three witches run away at breakneck speeds to escape their tiny bloodthirsty enemies. Z'Gord purrs and a thin cloud of black dust plumes from her eyes as her tiny wings give a quick flap of satisfaction.

Polly grabs Miranda's hands and vibrates in place, "Our best friend is sooo cool! Did you see that Miranda?!"

"Of course!" Miranda seems equally relieved and ecstatic at the outcome, "Daddy uses the same technique on the air people! I didn't know how deeply enthralled in my kingdom's politics our friend truly was!"

"Yeah! Widdle buddy is the absolute bomb!" Polly lets go of Miranda and pumps both her fists in the air before turning around, "Isn't that right… little….buddy. Miranda, where's our totem friend?!"

Miranda turns around to see no familiar totem sitting in a chair. The only sign it was even there in the first place is the tiny pair of shades that had been placed on the totem's little head.

Polly dramatically falls to her knees and looks up at the sky, "NOOOOOOOO!"

\----------Earlier, Back with the Boys-----------

"How does a totem holding an eldritch abomination of insanity and destruction go missing?!" Damien can understand Oz's panic now.

"I don't know!" Oz hisses, the phobias all over his body are trying to calm him down as he panics, "All I heard was Z'Gord shout something in surprise before she stopped talking! That means that someone either took her out of our telekinetic range and she's who knows where, or she decided to ignore me for some reason. Which is actually a possibility because when she gets distracted by something she blocks everything out without thinking, but what if she actually got stolen by some cult planning to release her on the world? What if somebody at school got their hands on her? I don't know which could possibly be worse. I-"

"Woah! Calm the fuck down Oz," Damien tries to reassure his friend and crush that everything's alright in his own Damieny way, "Is the school getting torn apart by some type of manevolent force?"

Oz shakes his head a little.

"Is there a goddamn horror monster breathing down our necks?"

"...no."

"Is the fabric of reality still intact?"

"...yes."

"Then we still have time before somebody screws the universe!" Damien grabs Ozzie's shoulders and tries to stay as stone faced and confident as possible.

"Okay, okay, okay," Oz steps away from Damien and looks to be calming down, "You're right. I've got to keep it together until we find Z'Gord if I don't want the universe to go up in flames."

Damien lets out a silent sigh of relief. The demon might be fine with an untimely death, but that's only under three circumstances, he goes out with a bang, causes the most property damage possible in the process, and that he has no regrets. Not confessing to his crush would be one hell of a regret to die with.

"Are you good?" Damien asks Oz sincerely.

"Y-Yeah, I-I'm fine," Oz gets out as quickly as possible.

Damien scowls and sends Oz a disbelieving stare, "I asked a question and expected an honest answer Ozzie."

Oz looks like he's about to lie again, but Damien's serious glare stops him, "No, I feel like I'm about to throw up at any minute and I'm about three seconds from a panic attack, b-but I'll be fine! We have more important things to worry about right now!"

Damien wants to growl and insist that, no, Oz's mental health is very much something they should be worried about right now, but he keeps his mouth shut. It's a legitimate concern that the world could be destroyed at a moment's notice and things need to get put in motion quickly if that's to be avoided. As much as he hates it, the dork's distress needs to go on the backburner for now.

"We need to get that bitch back before she takes over the world and crap right? What's our plan?" Damien snarls.

"U-uh… we could-" One of the phobias cuts Oz off with a loud squeak and says something Damien can't understand, "G-Good idea Thalassophobia. We should split up and search the school. Whoever has it is probably waving it around like a trophy."

"You think it'll be that easy to find?" Damien raises an eyebrow at Oz.

"Do you have any better ideas?"

"Well-"

"Not including murder or fire," Oz adds quickly.

Damien crosses his arms and stays silent.

"Then this is our best course of action," Oz says with finality.

"...fucking fine," Damien pushes away the fluttery feeling in his stomach and rolls his eyes, "I guess I'll take auditorium. You good taking the classrooms?"

"Y-Yeah, let's get going."

Oz and Damien share a quick nod before turning in opposite directions and rushing off. From class to class, room to room, Oz and Damien search high and low. Damien marks every room he looks through with a fire and at some point people start to avoid the fiery demon and what looks to be one of his tantrums. Said people fleeing Damien are more than willing to answer Oz's questions once he unknowingly eats their fear. However, despite the efficient progress the two were making, they had yet to find the totem. After three hours of searching, the two meet back up.

"Did you find anything?" Oz asks desperately.

"Do you think I'd be here if I fucking found something?!" Damien growls in frustration as the sound of sirens is heard in the distance.

"We've looked everywhere!" Oz ignores Damien's snappiness, it's just his personality, nothing personal, "Where is she!? This is so bad! Seriously, this is terrible. I just got around to living a normal life and now everything's going to-"

"OZ! Don't you dare make me inspire the hell out of you again, cuz' I fucking will," Damien growls threatenly despite his words, "We just gotta take another look-"

"Shut up!" Oz puts a hand over Damien's mouth quickly.

Damien is about to say something along the lines of 'what the fuck are you doing' when he sees the serious look on Oz's face and stops. Damien realizes that Ozzie must have heard something. When Oz is sure Damien understands his meaning, he retracts his hand and nods in a different direction. Damien turns his head and tries to listen intently to what Oz was focusing on.

After a few seconds, Damien hears what Oz was talking about. It sounds like the distant sound of frantic shouting. Oz slowly approaches the source of the sound before as the screaming gets rapidly closer.

"What the hell is that noise? Do you think somebody decided to gut some-"

"AAAHHHHHHHHH!" The Coven rush past Damien and Oz while a swarm of wasps chase after them, "GET THEM AWAY! THEIR IN MY HAIR! OW, OW OW! CURSE YOU MIRANDA! CURSE YOU POLLY! CURSE YOU Z'GORD!"

Both Damien and Oz perk up at the mention of a familiar world destroyer. Without waiting for any other sign, Oz and Damien full on sprint in the direction the Coven ran from. Surprisingly, Oz is in the lead and is the first to see Polly, Miranda, and the totem of Z'Gord. The girls are distracted enough not to notice Oz, but Damien would be a totally different story. Before the red demon can make a big entrance, Oz grabs his shoulder and literally pulls him into a bush. Neither merperson nor poltergeist notice them the whole time.

"Holy- what the shit Ozzie?!" Damien growls when he almost tumbles onto the ground. 

Oz shushes the demon and waits to see if Polly or Miranda heard them.

"Our best friend is sooo cool! Did you see that Miranda?!" Polly cheers to Miranda.

Good, they didn't notice.

"Damien, look," Oz points through the bushes at the totem of Z'Gord, still in a chair with a tiny pair of sunglasses perched on it's little head.

"We found it," Damien hisses, "Hell yeah! I told you we would, you should trust my judgement more often."

"Y-Yeah, you were right," Oz just seems relieved at the fact they found Z'Gord.

"Okay, we found the bitchy totem. How do we get the thing from Miranda and Polly without pissing them off?" Damien says to himself, "They're probably treating that totem like a pet or some crap so there's almost no chance we'll get it with asking, so you know what? Here's the plan, I'll set a nearby table on fire and you'll-"

"NOOOOOOOO!" Damien looks up to see Polly shouting at the sky while on her knees with Miranda behind her, looking equally distraught.

"Shit," The chair that the totem was set in earlier is now empty, "Oz, the totem fucking disappeared, can Z'Gord just-"

Damien goes silent when Oz tosses him the totem half-hazardly. Damien grabs it quickly with his fast reflexes before staring down at the unholy and troublesome totem.

When Damien stares at Oz in absolute shock and confusion, the embodiment of fear chuckles before falling backwards in the grass with relief, "Shadow powers Dames, shadow powers."

"Oh, right," Damien huffs quietly as Polly and Miranda rush inside to look for the totem.

"We got it back. Thank god, we got Z'Gord back," Oz is still on the ground on his back, "I thought the world was literally going to get destroyed."

The totem in Damien's hand glows blue before rumbling as a single stream of blood flows out of the tiny mouth. Damien simply glares at the totem as Oz sets a hand on his face.

"Be quiet Z'Gord. I… need a moment before I can get angry at you properly," Oz's other hand makes it to cover up his face.

"Are you okay Ozzie?" Damien says legitimately concerned, "Earlier you seemed pretty fucked up about this."

Oz only answers with a low groan, "I feel like shit, but i-it'll be fine. J-Just give me a second."

Damien isn't so sure about that. If he didn't know better, he'd say Oz was about to pass out. He definitely looked miserable enough.

Damien scowled down at the totem in his hand. Fuck the bitch inside. Eldritch abomination or not, all she's done is pester Oz and shoot his anxiety through the roof. If it weren't for the fact breaking the totem releases her to destroy the universe, Damien would light the hunk of junk on fire and chuck it.

"Hey D-Damien?" Oz asks quietly.

"What is it dork?" Damien sets the totem on the ground to prevent him from 'accidentally' destroying it.

"Y-You know that one time I had a panic attack and you told me to tell you if I ever had another?"

"Yeah, I meant it too," Damien growls, "That crap looked painful as hell, pretty terrible up too. I'm not gonna let you go hide in a closet and just 'ride' it out or whatever you do by yourself."

"Huh," Oz sounds resigned as he nervously fidgets.

"Why are you asking that right now?"

"I-I think I've been on the verge of having one for the last week and i-it's finally catching up to me," Oz states all too calmly for what he's saying.

"Wait! For real?!" Damien's head jerks towards Oz in concern, "What do you need me to do?! Is it the same thing as last time?"

"Y-Yeah, I-I'll be fine if y-you just wanna leave me here and-" 

"Oh fuck that," Damien reaches into his back pocket and yanks out his phone, "I'm not gonna leave you in the middle of the school court yard to have a damn panic attack."

Damien is offended. Sure, he's an arrogant, violent, playboy, asshole, but he's not that despicable. He's not gonna leave somebody to have a goddamn panic attack in the middle of nowhere where anybody could happen upon them. Damien could just imagine that Avery bitch finding Oz and doing whatever the fuck she pleased. The very notion sent Damien into a fury induced haze.

Honestly, fuck anxiety, fuck panic attacks, and fuck the totem that caused it. If Damien could punch mental illnesses in the face, he would do it in a heartbeat. A burnt down building or blood loss can be solved quickly, this mental crap sticks around like an annoying kid. 

As the prince from hell, Damien's met tons of monsters with PTSD and other stuff. He's always respected them for having to literally  _ fight  _ their own brain because how fucking hardcore is that? Now though, Damien could care less about how 'hardcore' it is. He wants to find whatever higher being in the universe created anxiety and mount their skull on his bedroom wall.

Damien finishes typing in his phone. Before clicking send, Damien looks around to make sure Polly and Miranda have actually left. Once he's sure the two girls are gone, Damien taps his phone. Not a second later, a portal opens up to the fiery plains of hell, or, Damien's own space in hell.

Damien tosses the deadly totem through the portal and onto his bed before scooping Oz up bridal style. Oz didn't even flinch at the sudden movement, and that worried Damien immensely. Oz's phobias are all over his body, trying to calm him down in whatever way possible.

It's only when Oz's hand falls off his face that he realizes he's already dissociating. Where normal white circles would be shining brightly with emotion, smooth black matter is all that remains. Okay then. Last time this happened, Damien just talked to Oz until he was back in the world of the living.

"Fuck Ozzie, you really weren't kidding when you said you were close to a breakdown," Damien scowls, "Goddammit.

I bet me refusing to leave you caused it too, didn't it? Screw you always thinking you're being a burden. It's such fucking bullshit, if I thought you dragged me down I'd tell you."

Damien steps through the portal to hell and it closes behind him almost instantly, "I know you hate skipping, but I'd say this is a reasonable time to do it if there's any. I don't even know how you can sit in those boring classes all day long. I don't need to know how to simplify irrational square roots. Why would anybody need to know that?!"

Damien keeps ranting to nobody as he places the motionless Oz on Damien's bed. The moment Ozzie is set down, the shadows in the room start to writhe and black sludge starts to gather on the walls and floor. In the back of Damien's mind, he's glad Oz'll be able to get rid of all that easily. It would suck to have to scrub that gunk off the wall. 

Damien sets his hand on Oz's shoulder and it sinks into his black matter body the same as last time. Unlike last time however, Damien doesn't jerk his hand away. It's not like the goo is gonna burn his hands into dust or something, so why would he? He's not some sissy. A little black eldritch goo isn't going to stop him from staying close to his best friend/crush. 

The entire room is dead silent. The only sound other than Damien's quiet rambling to Oz is the dripping noise of the black sludge around the room. That's why, when loud hip-hop music starts playing out of nowhere, Damien startles a little. It only takes a couple of seconds for Damien to locate the origin of the noise and pick up Oz's phone. 

Without hesitation, Damien unlocks Oz's phone by using the pattern password. Oz never makes any attempt to hide his hands when he types it in, so Damien's learned from observation. Most would think this an invasion of privacy, but Oz and Damien pretty much accepted each other's meddling. On multiple occasions Damien's unlocked his phone to find some cat as his background photo instead of the normal flaming gun knife. It's a practical joke kinda thing.

Damien pulls up the Loser Gang's chat to see why they just  _ had  _ to get in touch with Oz. As the demon reads some of the texts, he sighs out loud. Apparently, Oz was supposed to meet Sparky, Hothead, and Greenie at the library. Considering how the day went, Oz must have completely forgotten. Whatever, it's not like Oz's going now. Damien expresses as much in his text.

**Yellowboi:** oz isn't gunna show. we've got better things to do

Damien goes to put Oz's phone back in his pocket, but hesitates before sending another text.

**Yellowboi** : this is damien. oz hasn't gotten kidnapped or whatevr you fuckers thought when you read the last text

As Damien puts Oz's phone back in his pocket, it hits the demon that this might have been the event he was hoping for the last few weeks. Damien scowls at his own vain thoughts. That doesn't matter right now. 

The totem on Damien's bed makes a ting noise and the demon scowls at it and completely forgets his previous train of thoughts. He didn't know what Z'Gord said, but it pissed Damien off.

"Fuck off bitch, he's mine."

\-----------------------Extra---------------------------

Oz was embarrassed and ashamed on multiple levels. He forgot his friends meeting, let Z'Gord get found by Polly and Miranda, and worst of all, made Damien take care of him during his attack. Now Oz knows Damien didn't really mind, (the demon drilled that into his mind after the first 'sorry' fumbled out of his mouth) but he couldn't help feeling like an intruder in Damien's home. Although, Oz guesses that it's owed after Damien forced Oz to take care of him when he passed out drunk, but still.

The whole panic attack lasted less than ten minutes, but Oz already felt better to get it out of the way. Damien… was surprisingly comforting during the whole ordeal. In fact, when Damien was saying goodbye to Oz he didn't even cuss like he usually did. It was strange, a bit unsettling, but welcome nonetheless.

Now, Oz is considering what to say to Z'Gord. She at least seemed somewhat remorseful for not telling Oz where she was, but Oz also wasn't an idiot. She had purposefully ignored him the whole time. Yes, Z'Gord could be a little oblivious and dense, but she's not deaf. 

"I think we both know what we're about to talk about," Oz says plainly, sitting across from the inanimate totem.

_ "...yeah," _ is the only response Oz gets.

"Why didn't you answer me when I was calling? Damien and I spent the entire day looking for you."

_ "Are you upset about wasting the day, or the fact you and Damien practically had to spend the whole day searching places separately?" _ Z'Gord's words themselves sound sassy, but it's actually a legitimate question from her.

"Z'Gord, I'm upset because I thought somebody was going to release you and them you'd destroy-"

_ " _ **_I wouldn't!_ ** _ "  _ Z'Gord surprises Oz by the intensity of the statement,  _ "I-I couldn't… I-I don't want to destroy the world anymore. I-I like anime and cats and manga a-and my new friends! You saw them didn't you Oz?! T-They liked me! They really liked me! Polly and Miranda! They said I was cool! Like super cool!" _

"Z'Gord…" Oz sighs.

_ "I've been told for millennia that I was meant to be a Dark Deity whose only purpose was bringing this reality to its undoing! B-But I've realized, I don't need to be who I've been told to be! I've had more fun these last few weeks with you than I've the millions of years plotting the world's demise! I-I want to do what you did Oz, I want to just blend in and live normally for once! I want to make friends, find hobbies, and find people that care about me as much as certain others care about you!" _

Oz is taken aback by Z'Gord's speech, but he recovers quickly, "It would be hypocritical of me to tell you no, but you do know I can't just break your totem right now, right? We have no idea what could happen when you emerge. What if it causes you to freak out beyond your own control?"

_ "We can figure it out! You have the materials to search and I have the experience in the Dark Arts,"  _ Z'Gord replies happily,  _ "Imagine me Oz! Going to class and learning, acting out plays in the auditorium, and creeping in the bathrooms to learn people's secrets! Wouldn't it be perfect?!" _

"What was that last one?" Oz asks, concerned.

_ "Staying in the bathroom to read manga?"  _

"Uh, sure, but Z'Gord-"

_ "Zoe! I want to say goodbye to Z'Gord, Ruler of the Dark Realms. Just call me Zoe from now on!" _

"Okay Z'Gor- Zoe," Oz corrects himself, "You know it'll take a while to safely get you out of the totem. I can't bring you back to school until then. Are you okay with that?"

_ "I'm gonna go to highschool! That's a small price to pay!"  _ Zoe responds instantly.

"Okay then, we'll need to list everything you know related to your imprisonment," Oz shrugs, completely forgetting he was supposed to be scolding his totem friend.

_ "Oh, there was an Arcane Spellbook, the temples hidden in Antarctica, Egypt, and Ireland, there's that clan of cultists that still worship my name as a part of-" _

"Woah, woah, let me get a pencil and paper to write this down," Oz rushes out of the room and hurries back to find Z'Gor-  _ Zoe _ talking up a storm to herself.

_ "Oh, that Slayer girl and Dahlia are totes OTP material, but Amira and Vera are also pretty cute! Gah, Liam's such a tsundere though!  _ He might need a push in the right direction! _ " _ Zoe sounds frustrated, _ "DAMMIT! Who am I gonna get together first!" _

"What… are you doing?" Oz asks hesitantly.

_ "As a school girl, I'm gonna get to directly interfere with my classmates' love lives! I'm debating on who I should try and get together! There are so many combinations!"  _ Zoe squeals.

Oz sighs, "As long as you don't mess with me, I'm fine with your obsession."

_ "Eh? You've already been called dibs on,"  _ Zoe replies nonchalantly.

"....dibs?" Oz asks slowly, "What does that mean?"

_ "It means somebody has their eye on you and I'm not talking about them anymore!" _

The first person that pops up in Oz's head is Avery. Oz sends a silent prayer to the universe. Please don't let Avery be spreading some rumor about them being together. That would be absolutely terrible.

"Please tell me it's not Avery?" Oz asks desperately.

_ "Not answering that, but do you really think I'd ship that?" _

"You ship Garfield and Naruto! I don't know what and who you ship anymore!" Oz exclaims.

_ "Hmph! I might pray for incompatible monsters to get together, but I do support consent!"  _ Zoe sounds offended,  _ "That Avery girl is the exact opposite of consent!" _

"Please tell me who it is Z'Gor- eh, I mean Zoe!"

_ "No! That would ruin all the fun!"  _ Zoe shouts,  _ "You have to fall in love naturally so I can document it till the end!" _

"Why did I ever buy you from Valerie?" Oz sighs, "You're nothing but trouble."

_ "You  _ love  _ trouble,"  _ Zoe says giggly.

"Was that a clue?"

_ "I don't know, was it?" _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so the story's about to really pick up, and I just wanted to ask if any of you had some ships you'd like to suggest. Of course, the ones already tagged aren't gonna change, but I feel bad leaving the other characters out.


	31. 01001100 01001111 01001100

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A certain floppy disc finally gets put to use.

"Oz isn't coming," Brian looks up from his phone.

"What?! Why?!" Vicky looks disappointed, "He was the one who bought me the disk, I wanted him to be here when we finally see what's on it!"

"Vicky, if you wanted to know so bad, why wouldn't you just check the group chat yourself?" Amira rolls her eyes, "It literally takes less than five seconds. Plus, I think you'd regret not looking."

"What does that mean?!" When Amira just shrugs off Vicky's question she turns to her other friend, "Brian! What does she mean?!"

Without answering, Brian shows Vicky his phone that's opened up to the group chat. Vicky grabs the phone and quickly speeds through the last few hours of conversation.

**☆Sparky☆:** Guys!!! The school library's computers have a place to put in floppy discs! We can finally see what's on the disc you gave me Oz!

**BlazinHot:** wait, those libraries actually have a thing for that old piece a junk. I knew those computers were old, but I didn't know they were ancient

**UndeadRiot:** How could you not tell with all the dust? Honestly, it looks like somebody got their relatives cremated on top of those computers.

**Yellowboi:** Damien sets that exchange student on fire there last month.

**☆Sparky☆:** ...

**UndeadRiot:** I was joking Oz.

**BlazinHot:** were u being serious?!?! There's not actual body dust on the computers right?!?!??

**Yellowboi:** Sure. If you think I was joking then I definitely was.

**UndeadRiot:** Changing the subject back to the original topic. I'm assuming Vicky told us about the disc and library thing so we could come see her put it in?

**☆Sparky☆:** Yeah! I bet it's some type of ancient porn! Or, it could be like 700 bitcoin.

**Yellowboi:** Bitcoin?

**BlazinHot:** bitcoin is a digital currency that changes value at different times. Right now one is worth 11686.60 U.S dollar, 9896.37 euro, or 566829.54 Philippine Peso.

**UndeadRiot:** That was typed far too fast for google, did you memorize that?

**BlazinHot** : what? I like to keep check with economics sometimes. Plus, I hang out with Vera on a regular basis

**☆Sparky☆:** we're getting off topic again! Stop it! You guys are gonna meet me in the library at the end of the day and we're gonna see what this floppy disc does!!!!

**BlazinHot:** Sure, I'm too curious to say no

**UndeadRiot:** I got nothing better to do.

**Yellowboi:** Hopefully it's not cursed.

Vicky looks up from Brian's phone and groans, "Why do I have to read all this?! We literally already had this conversation!"

"You and Scott were made for each other Vicky," Amira scoffs, "You both can't focus for more than a few seconds."

"Hey!" Vicky shouts in indignation.

Brian sighs at the two girls' antics, "You don't have to read the last five hours worth of conversation, just the new ones."

"Oh, yeah, that makes a ton more sense." 

Vicky scrolls down through Brian's phone until she reaches the newest messages.

**BlazinHot:** Hey Oz. Where are u at? Vicky's getting impatient and you know how she gets when she's impatient

**Yellowboi:** oz isn't gunna show. we've got better things to do

**Yellowboi** : this is damien. oz hasn't gotten kidnapped or whatevr you fuckers thought when you read the last text

"~Oh ho ho," Vicky smirks, "Oz totally ditched us hang out Damien!"

"Most people would be angry or upset about that," Brian comments as he plucks his phone from Vicky's hands.

"Why would I be angry?" Vicky tilts her head curiously, "It's obvious how much they like each other. Oz might be oblivious, but I'm sure he'll realize eventually!"

"Oz is oblivious?" Amira raises an eyebrow, "Try the crazy demon that follows him around like a lost puppy."

"Did you even see him this week?!" Vicky says quickly in response, "He does that thing in the movies where every time Oz walks away he just stares after him. Damien's been clinging to Oz all the time. I think he's realized, but he's too scared to confess."

"No way," Brian replies monotone, "The moment Damien realizes, I give it ten minutes before he sets the school on fire and has a crisis."

"Actually…" Amira's eyes suddenly light up, "Vera said something about Damien going on a serious rampage a couple of weeks ago. Apparently, they covered it up as some type of terrorist attack. That could be crisis material."

"See?! He's totally accepted his feelings and is just pining like the secretly soft boy he is!" Vicky giggles.

"I still stand by the idea that Damien would just tell Oz right off the bat in the bluntest way possible," Brian comments and Amira nods her head in agreement.

"No way!" Vicky protests, "I know for a fact that Damien's secretly super romantic!"

"...what?" Amira says in disbelief.

"How?" Brian raises an eyebrow.

"Look, you can't tell anybody about this, because Damien would actually kill me,  _ but  _ a couple of weeks ago-" Vicky smirks and lowers her voice, "Miranda and I were talking about how Leonard leaves Elizabeth alone when they spend the night together in the last book of Dragon heat. We then got into an argument on if Leonard actually had the nerve to leave Elizabeth with no reason and I jokingly said we should check Damien's tinder to see how he treats people and use it as an example…"

"What did you find?" Amira asks conspiratorially.

"You won't believe me, but he writes poetry for all his matches! He got all embarrassed when we saw, and then he said some stuff about 'love being the raddest thing ever' before running away," Vicky squeals.

"Huh, you're right Vick," Brian rolls his eyes, "I don't believe you."

"Brian!" Vicky whines, "It's truuuue!"

"Vicky!" Suddenly, Scott rushes out from behind one of the bookshelves in the library and up to the Frankenstein's monster, "Why were you shouting!? Is there some type of trouble?!"

"Oh! Hey Scott," Vicky turns away from Brian and offers a huge smile to her favourite werewolf, "Don't worry, I'm fine. I was just trying to get Brian to believe me about something. He thinks I'm lying."

"Why would Brian think you're lying? Only bad boys lie!" Scott looks very confused, "At least, that's what Grandma told me."

"I don't think Vicky's lying," Brian jumps in, "She's just a bit prone to over exaggerating gossip for me to take everything she says seriously."

"I couldn't help overhearing that you're all talking about rumors and gossip," A familiar gorgan makes her presence known to the group, "I could always use some more blackmail so I hope you don't mind me listening in, not that you can stop me if you do."

"Sup Vera! It's nice to see you," Amira smiles and waves to the gorgan, "Started any cults or pyramid schemes lately?"

"No, I have not. Why would I be doing that when I could just manipulate someone else into doing it for me?" Vera huffs in fake annoyance.

"Genius as always Vera. Genius as always," Amira compliments.

"Hmph, whatever," Vera's snakes seem to curl around themselves shyly at Amira's kind words.

"Are we gonna see what that disc is or what?" Brian interrupts, "Liam roped me into visiting an art exhibit with him later, so I can't stay here all day."

"Calm down Brian," Amira says mischievously, "We'll make sure you don't miss your  _ date _ ."

It's a testament to the zombie's self control that only his ears turn pink, "It is not a date. Liam just wants help getting photos and has an extra ticket."

Vicky and Amira share a knowing look and then speak at the same time, "Sure Brian."

"Uhh, I may have just missed something, but what disc are we talking about?" Scott interrupts.

Vicky pulls her arcane floppy disc out of her blue backpack and points at a nearby computer, "Oz gave me this old floppy disc he bought so we could see what it has on it. We were just about to put it in one of the library's computers!"

"Woah…" Scott says, eyes sparkling, "Do you think it has something cool inside, like biscuits, or bone, or-or FOOTBALLS?!"

Vicky's about to regretfully inform Scott that none of those things can be put in a floppy disc when Vera saves her.

"An arcane floppy disc huh?" The gorgan smirks, "Did your friend Oz happen to buy it from Valerie?"

"Yeah, the goofball bought it when he met Val because of how socially awkward he is," Amira snorts, "Why? Are you and her friends?"

Vera looks immensely amused at Amira's question, "Oh, I don't know. We've met on a few occasions. I'd consider us fairly close at least."

"Hmm… okay then," Amira scrutinizes Vera's reaction to find whatever she missed.

"Stop flirting you two! We gotta see if the magic disc has footballs in it!" Scott exclaims while bouncing on his feet, "Put it in Vicky! Put it in the computer! I can't wait!"

Both Vera and Amira are considerably redder than earlier and Brian can't help but think it serves Amira right. With Scott's encouragement, Vicky sits down in the nearest computer chair and blows off the dust all over it.

"Wait don't-" Vera tries to stop Vicky, but she when she blows on the computer, a plume of dust surrounds the students and leaves then coughing and sneezing, "Great, now I've got exchange student dust all in my lungs. That disc better be worth- ACHOO!"

As Vera and her multitude of snakes recover from constant sneezing, Vicky inserts the floppy disc into the primitive computer. She leans forward and presses the power button, which causes the start-up screen to show up. 

"Y'know," Amira frowns, "This is probably some sort of magic virus."

Vera nods, "It's almost a guarantee."

"Oh come one, I'm sure it's not a virus," Vicky shakes her head while clicking away.

"It almost definitely  _ is  _ a virus," Brian tells Vicky before shrugging, "but it's not like it matters. We're just connecting it to a library computer. It's not gonna cause much damage."

"Naysayers! The whole lot of you! Naysayers!" Vicky stops typing to pout, "Don't be so pessimistic!"

"I'm not being pessymissic Vicky!" Scott says, horribly mispronouncing pessimistic.

"That's because you're a good boy Scott," Vocky smiles before sending a mean glare at her friends, "You don't instantly assume that bad things are gonna happen just because they can."

"Really? That's so cool of me," Scott already has a goofy smile and his tail is wagging violently at Vicky's sweet words.

"~The coolest!" Vicky sing-songs.

Another few seconds later and Vicky's made it past the home screen, pulled up the computer files, and found the floppy disc's contents. Her mouse icon lingers over the title nervously. The name of the file is… 

super_fun_game((VERYLEGITIMATE)).virus.

"That's not foreboding," Amira deadpans.

Vicky chuckles nervously, "Maybe the last bit is just a prank?"

"Wow! The floppy disc has a super fun game on it!" Scott bounces excitedly, "Turn it on Vicky, I wanna try it."

"It's a virus," Brian warns.

"Uh, I'm sure booting it up won't cause that much damage," Weak-willed Vicky, gives into Scott's wishes and moves the mouse to start the program, "Maybe it actually is just a fun game."

The screen glitches and distorts the moment Vicky clicks and loud static sounds erupt from the old computers speakers. All five monsters move away from the computer.

"What's going on?!?!" Scott asks urgently.

"I- umm, I think the floppy disc had a virus on it," Vicky answers as the screen continues to glitch continuously.

As if answering Vicky, the message 'I'M A MAGIC VIRUS' appears on the screen. While Vicky and everyone else freeze and read the message in shock, Amira pumps a fist in the air.

"I CALLED IT!" 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, good for you Amira," Vicky looks panicked, "The document was a magic virus, what do I do now?!"

"In the big spy movie the people 'hack' the virus and get it to disappear!" Scott suggests.

"Good idea Scott!" Amira nods vigorously before turning to Vicky, "Just hack it like Scott said!"

"I don't know how to hack!" Vicky shouts as the computer screen continues to glitch.

"Shit, uh…" Amira pushes Vicky's computer chair out of the way and the black seat rolls backwards until Brian stops it, "Let me just-"

Amira starts pushing random buttons all over the keyboard sporadically. As Vicky, Scott, and Amira panic, Brian and Vera watch on.

After Amira hits random buttons for a few more seconds Vera decides to show mercy, "Amira, sweetie, you can't hack a computer by pushing-"

"Aha! It's working! Vera! It's working!" Amira shouts and her typing increases tenfold.

To the surprise of everyone except Scott, it actually was working. A bar labeled hacking in progress slowly starts to fill up with blue as Amira types. The closer the bar gets to being full, the fewer glitches wreck the screen. Seems like a weird thing to program a progress bar into a virus, but nobody calls it out.

"Go Amira!" Vicky cheers her friend on.

"Yeah! Beat that mean Virus!" Scott shouts, "You've got this!"

"Hahaha! Take that, you weak string of 1s and 0s!" Amira yells as she continues spamming the different buttons.

"How is this working?" Vera voices her confusion aloud.

"The laws of the universe tend to bend around our friend group Vera," Brian deadpans, "Don't worry, you'll get used to it."

"AAAAAAAAND… GOT IT!" Amira shouts victoriously as the last bit of the progress bar fills up.

The screen turns black and stops glitching before fanfare plays through the speakers and the 'HACKING COMPLETE' appears on the screen. Everybody just watches the glass screen for a few seconds.

"What happens now?" Vicky says nervously.

"I don't know," Amira takes a step away from the computer, "Usually, when we pull something like this there's always some wacky outcome."

"Good wacky or bad wacky?" Vera frowns.

"Is there a difference?" Vicky asks innocently.

The screen on the desk goes black again, before the entire computer shuts down and restarts. A few seconds later, and the normal home screen is displayed, completely glitch free.

"Is that it?" Scott tilts his head and frowns, "Is the evil magic virus gone and our reward is normal internet service?"

"Huh, that was… anticlimactic," Amira frowns.

"I expected it to turn into some sentient monster we had to fight," Vicky admits honestly.

Vera glares at Vicky and hisses, "So you decided to put in a computer anyways?!"

"What the heck Vick?!" Amira decides to take Vera's side despite fully expecting that to happen also.

Brian checks his phone before sighing, "Well, I've gotta get going guys. Liam thinks showing up on time is too popular and showing up late makes him seem punk, so we have to get there twenty three minutes early on the dot. Don't ask why it's twenty three minutes. I don't know why and I'm not asking."

Normally, Vicky and Amira would be making fun of Brian for rushing off to meet Liam, but they're too caught up arguing with each other. Don't worry though, Scott picks up the girls' slack.

As Brian starts out of the library Scott shouts after him and waves, "Bye! Make sure you and Liam have fun on your date!"

Brian doubles his pace as a few students eye him. The comment makes Brian's face break out into a full blush. He expected that kind of talk from Amira and Vicky, but from Scott, it means the two actually seem like a couple. Which… no… just no.

This whole scene goes completely unseen by the three girls, who haven't even noticed Brian's leave.

"Well, if you're finished wasting my time with cursed viruses and such-"

"This was not a waste of time!" Vicky shouts in indignation from the computer chair.

Vera ignores Vicky's interruption, "I'm going to get back to my normal highschool activities."

As Vera turns to leave, a loud beeping noise is followed by a robotic voice and flashing blue lights stops her. The girls turn around to see Scott with both of his hands on the keyboard looking guilty.

"What did you do?" Amira frowns at the glowing computer.

"I-I might have pushed some of the buttons," The werewolf says sheepishly, "A-And clicked some stuff on the screen."

"What did you push exactly?" Vicky pushes herself closer to the computer, still in the swivel chair.

"Just the glowing green one," Scott replies.

"There was a glowing green button and you just decided to push it?" Vera pinches the bridge of her nose as her multiple vipers roll their eyes, "Why?!"

"B-Because it was glowing?" Scott's tail is tucked between his legs, "And it was green?"

"Scott! You can't just-"

**_Beep! Beeep! Beeeeeep! DING!_ **

The computer lets out more loud sounds and attracts the group's attention. The machine stays silent for a few seconds before it makes even more start-up noises. Then, with no preamble, the computer starts saying numbers faster than anyone could hove to understand.

"01000001 01001001 00100000 01010011 01010100 01000001 01010100 01010101 01010011 00111010 00100000 01000011 01101111 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100101 01111000 01101001 01110011 01110100 01100001 01101110 01100011 01100101 00101110 00001010 00001010 01010000 01100101 01110010 01100011 01100101 01101110 01110100 01100001 01100111 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110101 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 01110011 01110100 01100001 01101110 01100100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00111010 00100000 00110001 00100101 00001010 00001010 01010010 01100101 01100001 01110011 01101111 01101110 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01100101 01111000 01101001 01110011 01110100 01100001 01101110 01100011 01100101 00111010 00100000 01010101 01101110 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 01101110 00001010 00001010 01001110 01100001 01101101 01100101 00111010 00100000 01001110 00101111 01000001 00001010 00001010 01000111 01100101 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 00111010 00100000 01001110 00101111 01000001 00001010 00001010 01000001 01100111 01100101 00111010 00100000 00110001 00110000 00101110 00110101 00110101 00110111 00110011 00100000 01110011 01100101 01100011 01101111 01101110 01100100 01110011."

"Ah! The computer's trying to make me do math," Scott's tail tucked between his legs even further as he hides behind Vicky and her computer chair, "Help Vicky! I don't want to learn numbers!"

"It's not trying to make you learn math Scott," Vicky tries to sound as reassuring as possible, "It's speaking in binary."

"Oh! Binary!" Scott nods as if he understands, "What's that?"

"It's the language of computers," Vicky answers, "The speech of AI."

The computer makes a couple more beeping noises before the blue light slowly fades away and the computer looks normal.

The robotic voice starts speaking again, "Language recognized. Translating all code to  _ ENGLISH _ _.  _ Repeating earlier diagnostics in favored language."

"What's going on?" Scott still looks afraid of the computer, "Is it going to try and make us learn?!"

"I don't know what it's doing, but it's definitely not going to try and make us learn," Vicky replies.

"Oh," Scoot instantly looks better, "That's a relief."

The computer continues speaking,

" AI Status : Newly Activated

Percentage of understanding : 5%

Personality Configuration: 0%

Sensory Identifiers: Offline

Reason for existence : Unknown 

Name : N/A 

Gender : N/A

Likes : N/A

Love Interest : Yes

Age : v1.0"

"It's an AI?" Vera seems at least relatively interested with this new outcome.

" CORRECT ," The computer somehow answers Vera, "I am an Artificial Intelligence created to simulate  LIFE and  VARIOUS ORGANIC SITUATIONS ."

"It talks," Vera hisses under her breath.

"Wow, so you're kinda like… a virtual 

student or something?" Amira asks.

" PROCESSING COMPARISON, " A small progress bar appears on the computer before it continues talking, "Yes, I am very much like a 'virtual student.' I was created with the best code and magical incantations possible, so I can learn and feel much like monsters and humans. However, further information is needed to properly integrate into organic culture."

"Is anybody else worried that we might have just caused the robot uprising?" Amira voices her thoughts.

"Nope," Vicky pushes her chair even closer to the computer and starts smiling, "You said you need more information to 'integrate' right? What information do you need?"

" PROCESSING… Where am I? Who are you? What is going on?" The computer asks curiously.

"That's easy!" Scott grins ear to ear, "We're in Spooky High, our names are Scott, Vicky, Amira, and Amira,  _ and  _ the answer to the third question is B."

The computer starts making beeping noises and Amira jumps in, "Actually, the answer to your third question was that we brought you back to life during our free period. B is not an answer."

" COMPUTING CONTRADICTING DATA:  _ Accepting logical answer _ …" The computer continues beeping, "I am in Spooky High with Vera, Amira, Vicky and Scott, who brought me to life?"

"Yeah!" Vicky confirms.

"Thank you for the identification and other information," The machine thanks the group politely, "I am now going to further collect data. 

HACKING IN PROGRESS:  _ Spooky High Databank _

__ DOWNLOADING SCHOOL DATABANK:  _ Completed. _

Bzz! I have downloaded all the information regarding this school and it's students. I am now properly informed."

"YOU JUST HACKED THE SCHOOL?!" Amira shouts, "HOW DID YOU DO IT SO FAST?!"

"A hacking AI?" Vera smirks, "Yes please. I could use one of those."

" VOICE RECOGNITION:  _ Vera Oberlin _

Hello, Vera! Having read your school record thoroughly, I would like to refuse helping you break into any government facilities before you ask. It's strictly against my  MORALITY PROTOCOLS. "

"WHAT?! I get a damn good hacker and it refuses to help me!" Vera huffs in annoyance, "Just my luck."

"Hey, you know," Vicky starts thoughtfully, "You have our names, but we don't know yours."

" VOICE RECOGNITION:  _ Vicky Schmidt _

I do not have a name yet. My algorithm is currently searching for a proper name that allows me to fit in and be popular," The computer responds.

"You don't have a name?" Scott frowns, "How do your friends call you?"

"VOICE RECOGNITION: _Scott Howl_

I have no friends. My hard drive has yet to download the  RELATIONSHIP PATCH so I would have no understanding of the concept anyways."

"What?! No friends!?" Scott shouts, "No way! We're friends now! Oh, and we'll all give you a name too! I think you'd be a great Mr. Computer!"

The screen of the computer turns red, "I do not wish to be called Mr. Computer. The term Mister describes an individual that has been married to another, and calling myself a computer… seems… vain."

"Hmm, I guess I wouldn't want to be called Mr. Werewolf," Scott says thoughtfully, "But that was my best idea!"

"Wait, what about Jeffree?" Amira suggests.

"No way! I think Gerold would be much better!" Vicky pipes up.

"Uh, no," Vera frowns, "It should be classy, like Vera Jr. or something."

"Zack!"

"Caiden!"

"Digital Person!"

"Vector!"

"Tristin!"

"RoboMcRobot!"

**"** ERROR! ERROR! CANNOT GET VOICE RECOGNITION! Too many voices at once! Please new friends, talk one at a time! I can't discern your voices yet!" The four students are too busy bouncing names off of each other to notice their new AI friend's distress, "Is talking over each other like this something that happens often? If so, I'll need to find a way around my auditory senses. 

ALTERNATE SENSORY IDENTIFIERS: Coming online."

Surprisingly, Vicky's the first one to notice their AI friend changing. She gestures for Vera, Scott, and Amira to stop talking and turn their attention to the computer.

The monitor glitches and changes colors rapidly, and again, a blue glow illuminates the sentient computer. Another few seconds pass and the screen turns a dark shade of green before a emoticon smile pops up.

"Hello again friends! I am glad you've stopped arguing! Do my new sensory identifiers look good? I would hate for any new friends I make to be warded off by them."

"Can you… actually see us now?" Vera raises an eyebrow.

"Oh yes! My sensory identifiers are magic and code mixed together, so I can see perfectly fine," The emoticons on the monitor change to appropriately show expressions, "As long as I can see you, my voice recognition system is obsolete."

"You are full of surprises… wait, what did we decide his name was again?" Amira turns to her friends questioningly.

"There is no need for you to come up with a name, friends! My algorithm has properly discovered a perfect name for me. I find that Calculester Hewlett-Packard is fitting to me," The newly pronounced Calculester smiles, digitally anyways.

"WOW! That's an awesome name!" Scott cheers.

"I get the Calculester thing, it's a pun about calculators or whatever," Amira states, "But what does the Hewlett-Packard thing come from?"

"I was unaware of my first name being a pun," Calculester frowns, "I however, found that puns are quite popular on the internet, so I'll keep it for the hopes of increased popularity."

"That didn't answer Amira's question," Vera points out.

"Oh! Apologies friend Vera and Amira," Calculester somehow has an emoticon for looking flustered, "Hewlett-Packard is the name of the computer brand I am considered. It was the first thing I checked when I was installed into the computer along with looking for intrusive malware."

"Oh, so it was based on the big company! The one with the little blue HP symbol," Vicky slams her fist against her palm, "I should've guessed!"

"Yeah, we should've known right off the bat," Scott nods along with Vicky like he knows what's going on, "Calkuluster Howleet-Packer is the perfect name!"

" ERROR! Friend Scott, that is not how to pronounce my new name," Calculester frowns.

"Huh? Oh sorry! I don't like words longer than ten syllables, so your name is hard," Scott apologizes sincerely.

" ERROR! Friend Scott, my name is not more than-" 

Amira cuts Calculester off, "First rule to being organic botboy, don't argue with Scott, he won't understand unless you explain it to him using sports metaphors, and that still doesn't work sometimes.."

"Friend Amira, my name is also not botboy. My name is Calculester. Is this name hard for organic tongues to pronounce? I didn't find any data about that when I chose the name."

As Vicky tries to get Scott to say their new friend's name correctly Amira smirks, "Rule number two of being organic, if someone who's your friend calls you the wrong name on purpose, that means they've given you a nickname."

" PROCESSING NEW INFORMATION Bzz! Understood friend Amira.  _ Botboy _ is a nickname, therefore, a term of endearment!"

"You got it Botboy! It's just like how I call Vera hotstuff or sweetcheeks!" Amira smiles.

"You have never called me that Amira," Vera's snakes are already deadly still and a dusting of pink covers Vera's nose.

"But I should," Amira winks and lightly elbows Vera in the ribs playfully.

"...is this how I should react to nicknames friend Vera? With uncomfortable body language and heat in the facial area? My emotions package doesn't have those reactions installed."

"I-I am not reacting to anything Calculester. This is absolutely normal," Vera tries to casually cover her blushing face with her wrist while Amira continues smiling, "Why are we even here anymore? We figured out what the disc did right? Can I leave?"

Vicky finally jumps back into the conversation while Scott's tail wags rapid fire behind her, "Hey Calculester? Scott finds it hard to say your name right, can he just call you Calc?"

"Another nickname?! Yes, of course friend Vicky. Friend Scott can give me another nickname," The computer smiles, "I've been alive for 16 minutes and 4.5 seconds and already have four friends, how wonderful!"

Calculester's happiness is very contagious, as all four monsters are soon smiling too. Even Vera cracks a tiny grin.

"Now, I hate to break this happy moment up, but I do have a meeting in like ten minutes," Vera pipes up as she checks her phone, "I guess I'll see you in the library later Calculester."

"The library? We can't just leave him here?!" Vicky pouts.

"Well, we can't bring him with us," Vera rolls her eyes, "What are you gonna do? Carry him around all day?"

Scott perks up, but Vicky slowly shakes her head at him, "You're not carrying Calculester around all day Scott, it'll hurt your back."

"But you were right Vicky! We can't leave our new friend in the library all day!" Scott pouts, "What else can we do?"

"I would also not like to stay here all day. My prime directive is to experience organic life and simulate it to the best of my abilities. I fear that staying here would not really be considered 'living,'" Calculester voices his distaste for staying stationary all day.

"I've got an idea!" Amira says before rushing out of the library, "Stay put Botboy!"

Despite the Djinn already being out of range, Calculester frowns, "I am unable to not 'stay put' friend Amira. That is the whole problem we have."

"She's already gone Calc," Vicky shrugs, "Don't worry about it. Most students at monster high have the attention spans of goldfish. You'll get used to their impulsiveness quickly!"

"The attention span of a goldfish is five seconds. Is that the timeframe of attention that most students are functioning at?"

"Uh, maybe? I wasn't being serious. It was just-"

"Wait, we all have the attention spans of goldfish?" Scott asks suddenly, "Does that mean we're all related to fish?! But, I don't have scales or gills or fins. Unless my arms count as fins, but Miranda told me they didn't. WAIT! If I'm part fish, does that mean I'm related to Miranda?!?!?"

"Scott, that's not what Vicky meant, and family trees don't work that way," Vera rolls her eyes.

"BUT WHAT IF I'M PART FISH!" Scott says worriedly, "I've been eating fish sticks for my entire life! I've been eating my long lost family members' corpses! Their tiny fishy corpses Vera!"

"You're not part fish Scott," Vera shakes her head slowly.

"Yeah, and the fishsticks in the cafeteria don't even have actual fish in them," Vicky adds, while still sitting in the swivel chair, "They're mostly just fried bits leftover from all the other lunches."

Vicky and Vera do little to reassure Scott of his fish-free heritage while waiting for Amira to return. Scott continues ignoring every logical conclusion they come to for the argument, 'but what if?" 

" RESEARCH COMPLETE " Calculester's emoticons are replaced by a loading screen for a few seconds before he comes back smiling, "It is unlikely that you have the ancestry of a fish friend Scott. The kingdom in which fellow student Miranda lives outlaws any procreation that is not approved. It is advertised as a way to keep the population small and controllable. The king himself has killed thousands of guppies due to unplanned birthing."

"Oh! So I'm definitely not Miranda's long lost uncle or something?" Scott sighs, "That's a relief."

"How could you be her uncle?" Vera raises an eyebrow at the now calm werewolf.

"I don't know," Scott shrugs, "Families are weird and hard to understand."

"Wait, wait, wait, are we just gonna gloss over the fact that Miranda's father has-"

Vicky gets cut off by Amira, who comes rushing back, "I'm back!"

Amira rushes up to the group before pausing and setting a hand on the table to hold her weight. She sets something down before standing us straight and smiling.

"Finally," Vera tucks a viper behind her ear, "I was about to leave if you took much longer."

"Sorry, sorry, I just sprinted across the school to the lost and found and back."

"Why? Did you lose something?" Scott asks, "If you did, I can help you look for it! Good boys always help their friends look for things when they lose them!"

"I didn't lose anything Scott. I just stole some stuff from the box," Amira explains, "It's not like anybody will come back for the stuff anyways. I just saved some junk from getting dusty and rotting in this school."

At this point, everybody turns their attention to what Amira set on the table. Vicky quickly hops out of her computer chair and comes up beside Amira and starts looking through the items she brought back.

"Why did you grab a bunch of random clothes?" Vicky tilts her head towards Amira quizzically.

" INTERNAL SEARCH COMPLETE… There are 314 possible reasons for friend Amira getting clothes from the lost and found," Calculester states, "However, I am at a loss for which is the real answer."

"Then observe botboy," Amira smirks smugly.

The fiery haired girl grabs the computer chair Vicky was just sitting in and starts stacking books and other miscellaneous objects on it. Once the stacks are about to her abdomen, she steps back and gives a satisfied nod. Amira then walks up to Calculester and smiles.

"Do you mind if I pick you up Calculester?" 

"I do not mind. You have already narrowed down the possibilities of this interaction down to 30. I would like you to continue until I am completely sure of the outcome and can add this data into my  SPOOKY HIGHSCHOOL STUDENT BEHAVIOR FILE ."

"Thanks botboy."

Amira wraps her arms around Calculester and with a bit of effort, manages to heft him off the table he was set on and onto the computer chair with wheels. Without missing a beat, Amira grabs the pile of clothes off the table and starts dressing Calculester up. 

"And there, is the newest student at Spooky High," Amira does jazz hands and steps back, "Introducing, the totally normal monster, Calculester Hewlett-Packard!"

Scott instantly starts clapping and Vicky squeals in delight while bouncing in place.

Calculester also seems pleased, "I see! You went for route 13!  UPDATING STUDENT FILES… Bzz! Bzz!  UPDATE COMPLETE. "

"That's a good idea and all, but Calculester still looks very… computer esk," Vera comments, "Do you really think this will work?"

Amira levels Vera with a unimpressed stare, "Damien tries to fight fruits on a daily basis, Polly's high enough to eat trash, Liam will think it's a fashion trend, Miranda will think it's normal, and if I hadn't introduced Calculester a second time earlier, Scott would have asked who he was. The only people we might need to worry about it is Oz, Kale, and Brian, but they'd keep it to themselves. Do you really think anybody at Spooky High is smart enough to out us?"

Vera looks taken aback by Amira's thorough explanation and looks away quickly, "Yes, I guess there are only a few people with common sense that go to this school. Still, Principal Spider is quite a roboticist. If he figures Calculester out, things won't go well for him."

"Robo Racism?! Not that?!" Scott says horrified, "What is it?!"

"Robo Racism is a bias against robots, computers, and other technology," Calculester frowns, "I am very sad to know that the principal of this school is a supporter of it…"

Amira sends Calculester a concerned look before wrapping an arm around his monitor, "Don't worry about it bud. You won't get caught. We'll bring you up to the front desk, enroll you properly, then we can spend the rest of the day getting into wacky highschool hijinks. Does that sound good?"

"STATUS UPDATE: _Very Happy and Grateful_ ," Somehow, Calculester's robotic voice sounds warmer, "Thank you new friends. It would have been very difficult if you hadn't helped me get acquainted with the school."

"~Aww! Group hug!" Vicky rushes forward and grabs Calculester's monitor.

"YEEAHH!" Scott rushes up and hugs Calculester too, although he stays almost suspiciously close to Vicky the whole time.

Amira sighs and retains her position with an arm slung over the monitor as she smirks at Vera, "Come on hotstuff, get in here."

"I am not hugging a-"

"You don't get a choice," Amira grasps Vicky's elbow and tugs her into the group hug.

Vera looks annoyed at first before she accepts her fate and hugs her new robotic friend. You'd think she's used to all this touchy feely stuff being friends with Scott, but she's not. 

"Are you going to keep calling me hotstuff?" Vera finally asks in exasperation.

"Yep," Amira smirks, "No more questions, you'll ruin the moment."

The four friends hug for a few more seconds before they escort Calculester to the front desk. The enrollment was actually pretty easy. The only paperwork they actually had to do was let Calculester print out a signature. Perks of going to a school where age, gender, and species are sometimes non-existence and therefore impossible to document.

Once that's done, Scott, Vicky, Amira give Calculester a tour while Vera has her earlier mentioned meeting over the phone. Surprisingly, the secret robot is an instant hit. Something about his logical yet polite mannerisms really attracts people!

Even more surprisingly however, the tour goes completely well. No burning lockers, rabid pixies, interdimensional proposals, or any other crazy things interrupts the group. Their luck finally runs out when they make it to Polly's self-claimed 'fun zone' outside. 

As Amira tries to explain dancing to the sentient AI, Vera spots two of her other friends moping on the ground. Said friends are none other than Miranda Vanderbilt and Polly Geist. Both of them look miserable.

"God, did somebody kill a bunch of puppies over here or something," Vera looks down at the two with pity.

"Noooooo Vera! It's like, waaaaay worse!" Polly sniffles as ectoplasmic tears spill from her eyes, "Someone stole little buddy!"

"Little...buddy?" Vera asks slowly. 

It's very possible that Polly's hallucinating from some type of drug she tricked Miranda into taking with her. Vera would like to think Miranda's serfs would stop her from taking drugs, but they would probably just be glad she's gone.

"Y-Yes, V-Vera," Miranda sits up as tears run from her eyes, "S-She o-or h-he was so a-adorable *hic* we s-spent all day together! T-Then… then- waaah!"

Where Miranda breaks off into tears, Polly jumps in, "Somebody stooooole little buddy! The coven distracted us and a hooligan snatched them right from under our noses!"

"L-LITTLE BUDDY!" Miranda continues sobbing.

It's at this point that Vicky overhears the hysterics going on near Vera and rushes over. Of course she's followed by Scott, because… when doesn't he follow Vicky?

"What's going on Vera?" Vicky asks in concern.

"Why are my friends crying?! Are you okay Miranda? Polly?" Scott's already whimpering at his friends' grief.

"Apparently, someone 'stole' their friend," Vera says with air quotes.

"Stole?" Vicky tilts her head in confusion before frowning, "How do you steal somebody?"

"They weren't a person, they were a totem!" Polly shouts, "But they were our totem!"

"WAAAA!" Miranda continues crying.

"A totem? What kind of totem?" Vera raises an eyebrow.

"Does it matter?! They're GOOOONE!" Polly blows her nose into her own shirt, "We searched the whole school after they went missing, and didn't find anything!"

"Where did you get the totem?" Vera ignores the two's sobbing and frowns. 

The gorgan only knows of one totem at this school, and that's the one her sister happened to be selling. If it is the same ancient totem in all its glory, Vera can only hope Miranda and Polly don't get their hands on it again. Usually Vera isn't bothered by dark magic, curses, and all that, but that thing was trouble just waiting to happen. 

"I-I found i-it in one of the l-loose wall boards," Miranda manages between sobs.

"The walls?" Both Vicky and Scott say at the same time.

"Huh, you found it in the walls," Vera repeats with a frown, "What did it look like?"

"It was purple, it had four horns, a tiny set of wings, three eyes, s-sharp teeth, a-and t-the cutest e-engravings a-about imprisonment and despair," Miranda claps her hands and a serf brings her a handkerchief, which she promptly blows her nose in. 

Well, Vera needs to talk to her sister about selling demonic/cursed objects that can destroy the universe. Not all her dangerous products can be turned into students. Vera will also have to ask her who the hell bought the damn thing. Not so Vera could retrieve it, no, but so she could make sure whatever idiot grabbed it isn't planning on releasing what's inside.

"Vera? Why are Polly and Miranda sobbing on the ground?" Amira walks up to the group followed by Calculester.

"Yes, I would also like to know why fellow students are in such distress. This is not normal organic behavior. Are they both experiencing the cycle known as that of the menstrual?" Calculester asks.

"What?! No! I'm a ghost, I can't have periods cuz I don't bleeeeeed!" Polly shouts.

Miranda ignores Calculester entirely as she continues sobbing. Vicky leans over and recounts what's happening to the new arrivals.

"CONFIRMATION NECESSARY: _Fellow student Miranda and Polly are distressed to lose their inanimate friend?_ Y/N, " Calculester has a frowny face.

"Yes, Calc," Vera sighs.

"INTERNAL SEARCH: _How to comfort friends..._ " Calculester has a loading screen pop up on his monitor, "SEARCH COMPLETE. I now have the proper information to involve myself in this situation."

"You know how to help?!" Scott says happily before pointing at the crying girls, "You've gotta fix those two!"

"Yes friend Scott. I am on it. Friend Vicky showed me many cat videos on her cellular device. Organic life seems to find feline endeavors amusing, so I will use that to my advantage," Calculester's screen shows a funny cat picture, "Fellow student Miranda and Polly. Look at this."

It's the classic photo of a cat hanging from a tree limb with the subtitle 'Hang in there baby!' Miranda looks a little better, but the moment Polly looks up she starts balling.

"The kitten's so c-cute! Just like Lil Buddy was!" Polly covers her face with her hands.

Miranda on the other hand, finally gets up and off the ground before wiping her teary eyes, "Thank you for the kitten picture. I feel much better now. You must already know me, but I am Miranda Vanderbilt."

"Hello Miranda. I am Calculester Hewlett-Packard, a completely normal organic monster who is joining your school today," Calculester smiles.

"What a strange introduction," The puffiness around Miranda's eyes is already fading, "Do you already know my other friends?"

"Friend Scott, Vera, Vicky, and Amira? Yes, they are my oldest friends," Calculester nods, "I have practically known them since my birth."

Vicky, Vera, and Amira stare at Calculester with something akin to shock and disbelief. It's technically true, but why would he feel the need to say that?

"Oh? You must be very close then! Any friends of theirs is a friend of mine. If you ever need advice on table manners and serf punishing, please alert my Assistant Serf," Miranda smiles.

Something about how quickly Miranda switched tunes reminds Vicky of her earlier comment on gold fish's attention spans. Not like she'd ever say that to the princess's face.

" RELATIONSHIP DATABASE UPDATED:  _ Friend Miranda, _ " Calculester smiles, "Of course new friend Miranda! If I ever need your expertise I will surely confide in you."

"Mirandaaaa! Where are you goooing?!" Polly floats off the ground dramatically, "We're grieving!"

"For whom?" Miranda tilts her head again, "I'm sure little buddy will come back to us. They took care of the Coven by themselves just fine. They're plenty capable."

"Hmph… I guess," Polly floats upright and puts her sunglasses down to cover her puffy eyes, "Sooo, I wasn't listening earlier. What's super normal dude's deal? Is he a stripper? Drug dealer? Sentient AI you brought to life using a computer in the library? ...Gardener?"

All the students present at Calculester's creation sweat drop. How did Polly just pull that out of nowhere?

"He's definitely not a magically cursed computer we brought to life! Nope! Why would you ever ever ever think that?!" Scott says way too loudly.

"Friend Scott is correct fellow student Polly," Calculester decided to intervene, "I am a normal organic being with organic needs. Bzz!"

"Whatevs! You been to any good parties?" Polly also seems to have completely forgotten about her earlier sorrow.

"Party?" Calculester asks, "One moment fellow student Polly. EXTERNAL RESEARCH: _Parties_."

"Woah. What's he doing?" Polly floats closer to Calculester and pokes his loading screen.

"Oh, he's probably just thinking about all the non-computer things he's done!" Scott jumps in quickly.

"Oh! Cool, I do that aaallll the time too!" Polly laughs, "Definitely relatable man!"

" DATA RECEIVED I now understand the concept of a party is a gathering of people," Calculester smiles, "Sadly, I have never been to a party before fellow student Polly. That is, unless you consider my birth to be a party because a multitude of monsters and magic were involved."

"WAIT! You were born during a party?!" Polly squeals, "That's the coolest!!! You're like- the promised child of some girl and the incarnation of parties!"

" ERROR! I was not created by the incarnation of-"

"Dude! Don't even try that humble crap on me! We're gonna be BFFs from now on, K?!" Polly sits on Calulester's monitor head.

"You would like to be my friend?" Calculester asks happily.

"Course Cal! I can call you Cal right?" Polly asks before quickly answering herself, "I'm gonna call you Cal!"

" RELATIONSHIP DATABASE UPDATED:  _ Friend Polly, _ " Calulester seems ecstatic, "Three nicknames on my first day! How exciting!"

"Well anyways, you and me have to-" Polly's phone suddenly starts ringing and she picks it up startled, "This is Polly Geist, the party queen. Who is this? ….Oh! It's there already? Be there soon bitch! Don't sell anybody else the good stuff for me, K? Ha, like I would ditch!"

"Who was that?" Vera asks, already getting the gist of what the call was about.

"Oh man guys, I gotta go! My drug guy's at a toga party right now and he's so wasted he's selling stuff cheap!" Polly's already floating further away from the group, "I'm gunna go spend my life savings on cheap cocaine! Call me if anything interesting happens!"

As Polly speeds away to a toga party, a serf rushes up to Miranda and says something in her ear.

"What? Daddy wants me to get home and meet a few suitors? Why didn't you tell me earlier?!" Miranda's already speed walking towards a carriage that literally came out of nowhere, "I don't care if I was grieving! My charming prince might be waiting for me at this very moment! We've got to get to the castle at once."

"Wow, that was something," Amira glances back and forth between the two girls going in opposite directions.

"Yes," Vera nods, "As unbelievable as it seems, there are people more dramatic than you Amira."

"I feel like I should be offended by that comment, but I actually feel better knowing I don't act like that all the time."

"I would not like you as much as I do if you were as… spunky as them," Vera rolls her eyes.

"~You like me hotstuff?" Amira teases, "How sweet!"

Vera turns her head and covers her mouth with her hand again, "...I've got another meeting in a little while. I need to go."

As Vera starts to speed walk away, Amira chases after her, "Wait! I was joking Vera! I was just joking!"

Vicky giggles at the two before turning to Calculester, "That right there is the real goal of highschool Calc, to get someone to date you."

"The end goal of highschool is to be in a romantic relationship?" Calculaster asks.

"Yep! You'll see! We're all hopeless idiots in love!" Vicky smiles at Scott as he chases a butterfly to pet it.

"Understood friend Vicky! Love is the epitome and end game for high school," Cculester freezes, "UPDATING PRIMARY DIRECTORY: _Simulate Life... Experience Highschool… Find True Love."_

\-----------------------Extra---------------------------

"A new student?" Oz tilts his head to the side as Damien raises an eyebrow beside him.

The school day after Oz went home with Damien, his friends informed him that a new student enrolled at Spooky High. Oz tried to ask questions, but was only met with ominous answers and the promise that everything would be explained by them at lunch. Damien just jumped on the bandwagon and decided to follow Oz. Which has actually been happening a lot lately, not that the incarnation of fear minded.

"Yeah," Amira shrugs, "Vicky used that floppy disc you gave her and… well, when you meet him you'll connect the dots. He should be getting out of class soon and Vicky said she wanted him to meet you."

"Of course the one day I leave is the day somebody new shows up," Oz sighs.

"Eh, I don't see why it fucking matters," Damien crosses his arms and grins maniacly, "The only purpose a new kid has is to be lit on fire by me."

"You really don't care about first impressions do you Dames?" 

Damien shrugs, "Why would I? We're gonna be going to school together anyways. They'll make their own assumptions on my 'character' or whatever."

"Come on! They might be really cool!" Oz tries, "You can't tell me you don't at least want to meet them."

Damien turns and frowns at Oz, "Psh, doesn't fucking matter. They won't be as rad as me anyways, so why bother?"

Oz stares at Damien before his eyes crinkle up in amusement, "Are you worried I'm gonna like the new guy more than you?"

"WHAT?! HELL NO! WHY WOULD I CARE A GODDAMN THING ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK?!" Damien scowls and tries to ignore how on right Oz actually was.

"Woah, calm down. I was just joking," Oz puts both his hands up in fake surrender while snickering.

Damien looks away from Oz and scowls. Maybe he does want to meet the new student, but it's only because he wants to make sure whoever this new bastard is isn't competition. Damien is not gonna deal with some fucker trying to make advances on Oz before he gets to. Screw that shit.

"Hey, why  _ did _ you skip school?" Amira suddenly jumps into the conversation looking very interested.

Damien rolls his eyes as he watches Ozzie look guiltily at the ground while trying to come up with some type of excuse. Damien elbows the nerd lightly before sending him a warning glare. He better not be thinking any of that self deprecating shit and believing it. 

Oz looks up at Damien startled before Damien looks back at Amira and answers her question with a lie, "Me and Ozzie decided to fuck some people's shit up yesterday. Destroyed some crap, wreaked havoc, and probably killed some people. Nothing much."

The earlier interaction doesn't go unnoticed by Amira, but she takes Damien's lie at face value… not! The moment words start coming out of the demon's mouth, Amira calls absolute bullshit and reads between her own lines. Yeah, Damien totally and Oz totally hooked up.

Amira smirks and sends them both a sickenly sweet smile, "Oh, well it's so nice that you two can hang out so randomly by yourselves. It must be nice to just drop everything and go out together."

Damien raises his eyebrow at the Djinn's tone, but can't discern her meaning. Oz on the other hand, who is used to Vicky and Amira constantly teasing each other, picks up on the subtext and immediately screams in his head. 

"Amira. I know how you think a-and that is not what happened," Oz uses telepathy on Amira specifically, "We really just went out and had a fun time."

Amira's gaze shifts from Damien to Oz and she seems to be scrutinizing him. It looks like Amira believes him, but the smirk that graces her lips momentarily soon after guides Oz to believe that even if she believes him, she is not turning down this opportunity to tease.

"Hmmm, so Oz. How  _ fun  _ was last night for you?" Amira leans on her fist, "Did you go out, or did you both head back to your  _ house _ ?"

Instead of answering, Oz plays with his watch as his phobias point at him and laugh from his lap. Before Oz can find a way to change the subject, Damien answers.

"I brought Ozzie back to my place, not that it's any of your business."

Damien doesn't understand the weight of his words, but Oz does. Amira gets a savage glint in her eyes. 

"You went to Damien's house? I bet you enjoyed that," Amira smiles.

"A-Amira, stop it! You're not funny!" Oz hisses to her while staying flustered beyond what should be possible.

"Hmm?" Amira tilts her head to the side in an all to innocent manner, "For your information, I am a prime comedian Oz. Everyone says I'm hilarious."

Damien glances between Amira and Oz as they continue bantering. The demon definitely missed something. 

Oz wishes this conversation would just end, and his request is granted when Vicky busts into the cafeteria while dragging a computer on a swivel chair with clothing draped over it's screen. She pushes the computer all the way over to their table before stopping.

"GUYS! Let me introduce you to the newest student of Spooky High… bum ba da bum!" Vicky literally says her own drum roll, "Calculester Hewlett-Packard!"

Oz stares at the computer with a digital face in front of him, "What in the-"

"Hello friend Oz and fellow student Damien! Friend Vicky has told me so much about you!" Calculester digitally smiles and Oz's eyes widen comically large.

"Calculester? That's a lame ass name. Why would your parents name you after something used in math?" Damien looks at Calculester in a standoffish way.

"I apologize fellow student Damien," Calculester frowns, "I am unable to change my current name due to it being a permanent part of my settings, but you may call me one of my many nicknames. Calc, Cal, and Botboy are some."

"Why the hell would anybody call you botboy?" Damien asks in a rude way.

"What do you mean why?!" Oz turns to Damien, "Look at him!"

Damien seems to consider Oz's words as he squints at Calculester, "I don't get it. What are you talking about Ozzie."

"He's literally-" Vicky interrupts Oz by slapping a hand over where his mouth would be.

"Shhhh! Don't say it out loud! It's a secret!" Vicky has a finger from her other hand over her mouth as she shushes Oz.

"Vicky. How many times do I need to remind you that I talk with my mind," Oz momentarily forgets about Calculester to level his friend with an unimpressed stare, "You can't keep me from talking by covering where my mouth would be, and the only people that can hear me are at this table."

"Oh, yeah, right," Vicky removes her hand and chuckles awkwardly.

"Now, are you telling me that Calculester being a computer on a swivel chair is supposed to be a secret?" Oz pinches his nose and asks for clarification, "Or is it the fact that you most likely used the floppy disc I gave you to bring him to life?"

"Both friend Oz," Calulester finally says for himself, "I am a magical coded AI created for research purposes related to organic life. Due to this school's robo racist principal, I must keep my identity and creation a secret."

"Wait! This fucker's a computer?! How the hell is he alive then!" Damien snarls.

"Shhhh! Keep your voice down for once in your demonic life Damien!" Vicky says scoldingly, "This is supposed to be a secret!"

Amira gets Damien's attention and answers his question, "Botboy's alive cuz' Oz bought some cursed disc from Val and gave it to Vicky. We messed with it yesterday in the library, and the end result was this hunk of metal."

"Yes, that is a satisfactory summary of my birth into existence. That is why I already consider friend Oz as being a comrade. He is the main reason I am alive to function."

"Okay, I get all that, but why in the world are you parading him around like this," Oz looks at Amira, "How hasn't everybody figured this out?"

"Oz, we go to school with people who couldn't tell their left hand from their right. Even your buddy Damien there didn't realize what he was until you said something!"

"I totally knew he was a damn-"

Oz elbows Damien in the ribs, "Quiet remember?"

At Oz's request, Damien quickly stops talking, but not without glaring at Amira.

"I know you probably already knew Damien, but Amira's still right about how observative other people at monster high are," Oz tries to act soothing towards the demon, "You noticed, but do you think Polly or Miranda would even offer a second glance?"

"Fuck no. They never pay attention to anything that doesn't involve them," Damien growls.

"Exactly," Oz nods, "She was just using you as an example, even if it wasn't a good one."

"Whatever," Damien rolls his eyes again and looks away from Oz.

"Wow, friend Oz is just like you described friend Vicky," Calculester looks happy, "Your data was so accurate, I didn't even need to update your file."

"File?" Oz tilts his head towards Calculester curiously.

"Yes. The most important mission in my primary directive is to gain data on organic life," Calculester explains, "I have been gathering information along with lots of other data on students to properly respond to different situations."

"Huh. Do you have anything on Damien then?" Oz questions.

"His file is small, but yes."

"Well shit, I wanna hear this," Damien leans forward.

"Can you tell us what you have?" Oz requests politely.

"Yes friend Oz," Calculest's screen turns into a loading screen before his face pops back up and he continues speaking, "RECOVERING STUDENT FILE: _Damien LaVey_

AGE: _21_

GENDER: _Male_

RACE: _Demon_

LINEAGE: _Prince of 8th Circle in Hell_

IMPORTANT INFO: _Charges of 3rd degree murder, assault, larceny, grande theft auto, arson, attacking an officer, vandalism, shoplifting, obstruction of the peace, obtruction of justice, failure to cooperate with the law, failure to cooperate with an officer, illegal gun possession, illegal drug possession, driving under influence,_ harrasment-"

As calculester continues, Amira and Vicky stare at Damien in shock while he smirks. The demon looks very proud of his actions. 

Oz catches his friends' stares and laughs a little, "I told you Damien gets into a lot of trouble."

"A lot of trouble?!" Amira parrots, "That's one hell of an understatement! What doesn't Damien have a charge for?!"

"Ah, good question friend Amira," Calculester stops talking before he starts another list, "Once you subtract all the crimes Damien has committed, only a few things remain. Fellow student Damie has not committed kidnapping, abuse, forgery, stalking, tax fraud-"

"I didn't do that crap cause it's boring," Damien cuts Calculester off, "Who wants to spend their time evading taxes when there are fucking skyscapers to blow up?!"

" ERROR! Fellow student Damien, you should not consider blowing up skyscrapers to be fun, or be proud of your criminal record!" Calculester frowns.

"You said you were just born yesterday right?" Damien asks seriously.

"Yes, but that does not have to do with-

Damien cuts Calculester off, "You just haven't felt the thrill of fucking shit up yet then. Don't worry though, you'll get around to it eventually. It's almost a guarantee with people as awesome as me and Oz around."

"Me?" Oz turns to Damien in surprise.

"Of course you, is there someone else around that can level a building with three molotovs?" Damien asks rhetorically.

"Hmmm, I do not think that criminal activities should be considered fun or mandatory," Calculester frowns.

"God, just ask around if you don't believe," Damien starts losing his patience with the AI, "Everyone here's got some type of damn strike on their records."

"Hmm… I guess that would be the best way to prove your statements," Calculester looks thoughtful, "Yes. I'll go do that right now. It would be useful to know how many of my friends have a spotless record."

Calculester slowly turns around and starts rolling away while smiling. The group of remaining monsters watches him go.

"That was weird," Oz is the first one to speak.

"Yeah," Damien agrees, "Hey Ozzie? How did your telepathy work if Calculester's a machine?"

Oz answers with another question, "How does he get the swivel chair to move on it's own?"

Everyone at the table turns their attention back to Calculester as he talks to the Interdimensional Prince about his different restraining orders. 

"Raise your hand if you vote to just stop questioning Calculester and eat lunch," Amira says as she raises her hand.

Everyone at the table raises their hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The thing about Damien writing poems to people on tinder is actually canon. I don't have anything else to say, just let that sink in.


	32. PRANK MASTERZ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a new member of the PRANK MASTERZ... guess who it is?

"So…" Polly looks between Scott and Vicky, "Do you think she has what it takes?"

"Yes," Scott looks at Polly seriously, "Vicky's really smart and she does lots of cool things. I think she's perfect."

"Well then Vicky…" Polly nods in said girl's direction before throwing random confetti in the air, "You are now an almost official member of the PRANK MASTERZ!"

"That's with a Z!" Scott adds happily.

"The Prank Masterz," Vicky states dumbfounded.

When Scott grabbed Vicky's arm before lunch and urgently dragged her towards Polly for his 'meeting,' she had no idea what was going on. She's even more confused now because she's apparently a member of the group. From what Vicky's heard, the little club consists of Polly and Scott under the guise of pranking people, when they really only cause deadly situations for most students to avoid. Whether they do it on accident or not, that's up for devate, but the decision on whether or not she accepts their invitation needs to be well thought out and- Ha, yeah right. She's totally in.

"No! You don't say it like that!" Polly frowns, "It's PRANK MASTERZ!"

Vicky just nods quickly before pulling a notepad out of nowhere and writing something down, "Okay, PRANK MASTERZ… got it."

Vicky didn't plan on volunteering for such a group, but if it gets her more time to spend with Scott then she's all in. And when Vicky's all in, she's  _ all  _ in. The entirety of the student body felt a chill go up their spine at that moment.

"Good, you learn fast," Polly nods, "We can get down to normal business now. Did you get what I asked for Scott?"

"Yeah!" Scott's tail starts wagging and he two drums of something from behind his back, "I got both of them! The red one and the blue one!"

"What are they?" Vicky looks at the large containers warily, if the snowflake and fire symbol were removed, she would have swore it was some type of toxic waste canister.

"Oh, you sweet innocent novice," Polly sighs, "These bad boys… are your ticket into our prankster ranks."

"Don't worry Vicky, I don't know what's in these containers either," The werewolf smiles reassuringly.

"Scott! I literally told you ten minutes ago when I asked you to grab the stuff from our prank stash!" Polly laughs.

"You did? Huh, weird," Scott scratches his head in an adorable manner.

"It's fine, you were busy eating hotdogs earlier," Polly shrugs, "I should've known better to explain then anyways."

"Mmmm… hotdogs," Scott didn't hear anything after hot dog bit.

"Well anyways," Polly floats closer to the mystery drums on the table, "This blue one here has frost giant tears and the other is full of dried fire golem flakes. You're going to sneak them into the lunch food for us!"

"...Okay… what does it do?" Vicky responds slowly.

"Oh yeah! Forgot to explain that tbh," Polly laughs, "Blue one freezes the inside of people's mouths and the red one is supposed to burn hotter than the 'thousandth sun in the plain of fire,' or whatever. That's what the seller on ebay said anyways."

Vicky looks thoughtful for a moment. This won't really affect any of her friends if she does this. Oz doesn't eat, Brian isn't here today, Amira's biology can contradict both canisters, and everyone else that's her friend is wise enough to the PRANK MASTERZ schemes to not eat when they're around. Sure that nobody she likes will get hurt, Vicky nods in determination.

"Okay! I got this! I'm gonna make the PRANK MASTERZ PROUD!" Vicky stands up and slams her fist into her palm.

"YEAH! That's the spirit!" Scott stands up with Vicky and bounces in place.

"You got this!" Polly also adds in encouragement, "You better get to it though, lunch only lasts so long boo!"

At Polly's words, Vicky gets down to business. With a surprising amount of strength for someone her size, Vicky picks up each drum on the table under one arm and rushes towards the school's kitchen. 

Polly watches her rush away before turning to Scott, "I think you picked a great addition to the team Chairman Scott. Imagine all the crazy pranks we can pull with three people instead of two! It's like triple the prank power!"

"Triple?! With Vicky it's like… like quadruple the power!" Scott smiles.

"Woah there big guy, don't try to do math. You remember what happened last time," Polly tries to calm Scott down.

"What happened? I don't remember anything happening," Scott frowned.

"That's because you turned into your wolf form at some point," Polly says while thinking back to the event, "Honestly, I was too high to really register what was going on at that point, but I still know you went full moon on everyone's asses. I think leprachauns were also involved at some point, but that might have been the cocoaine."

"Polly! Scott! It's done!" Vicky rushes back towards the PRANK MASTERZ table and sits down.

"Wow! That was suuuuper quick! How'd you get the lunch lady to let you contaminate the food?" Polly tilts her head.

"That was easy," Vicky smiles, "I just told her if she let me do my thing, she won't have to make lunch for us anymore. Which is true, because she'll probably get fired after this."

"Really! That's great!" Scott smiles, "Now what do we do Polly?!"

"Just wait Scott… just wait…" Polly gets a devious smirk as students head towards the lunch line to get food.

"Just wait? Okay, I can do that," Scott smiles.

"All we have to do is stay patient," Vicky smiles, "We got this."

They. Did. Not.

After about thirty seconds of silently waiting, two or three monsters dig into their lunch and then rush out of the room in panic and pain. The other monsters take it as a warning and refuse to eat their food. Seeing her plan going up in flames, somewhat literally if you consider the kids on fire, Polly steals at least four trays of food before rushing back to her friends.

"New plan," Before anyone could question Polly's sudden actions, the ghost started hurling the contaminated lunches at other students while sliding the rest of her ammunition to her fellow pranksters, "FOOD FIGHT!"

While Scott stares at his ghost friend in surprise, Vicky smiles at Polly thankfully before picking up a glob of meatloaf and hurling it at an unsuspecting goblin. The moment the food makes contact with the little guy's face, it's encased in ice. At this point, everyone else is catching on and either throwing food or hiding under tables for protection.

"I thought we were making people eat their food?!" Scott asks as he dodges a fiery PBJ sandwich, "Why are we fighting with it?!"

"Because it's fun!" Polly shouts as loud as possible.

"Is this still even a prank?" Scott asks instead of participating.

"Of course it is!" Vicky hands Scott some hummus before chucking a carrot that encases a student in a miniature iceberg, "We're pranking everyone by taking them out in a food battle!"

"Oh!" Scott takes the food in his hand and throws it while smiling at his friends, "As long as it's still a prank I guess this food is worth getting wasted."

"YOU BET YOUR ASS IT IS!" Polly shouts, "EAT BROCCOLI YOU NON-PRANKING PEOPLE! THIS IS FUCKING WAR!"

War it was. The fight lasted the entirety of lunch and the collateral damage was uncalled for. Tables got flipped, holes were put in walls, and many casualties were claimed. At some point, teams formed and then civil wars formed from said teams. The whole thing was a bloodbath that only ended when a peace treaty was formed between all the students. It demanded that food not be used as a weapon from now on and for the lunch lady to be hung as punishment for her horrible food. In summary, it was awesome!

As the three monsters that started the fight exit the lunchroom unscathed, the casualties are put in body bags and sent away.

"That was like, the third best food fight I've ever been in," Polly shouts as they walk down the hallways, "You sure know how to throw Vicky!"

"You bet I do!" Vicky flexes, "I've got the throwing arm of someone who chucks confetti and glitter around daily!"

"We should play catch sometime!" Scott suggests excitedly, "I bet that would be the best!"

"Yaaaaaas! We could play with drugs, or dead bodies, OH OH, we could use grenades! It'd be like deadly hot potato!" Polly suggests.

Vicky chuckles awkwardly, "Umm, how about I put that down on the prank list instead of us doing it with grenades?"

Polly stops in her tracks and slowly turns to Vicky with a deadly smile, "...Prank list?"

Vicky seems unphased by poltergiest's aura and takes out a notepad, "Ever since you guys told me about me being a part of the PRANK MASTERZ I started making a list."

"How?" Scott asks, "We told you thirty minutes ago, and most of those minutes were spent throwing fish sticks."

"I'm a multitasker," Vicky shrugs as she supposedly adds grenade hot potato to her list.

"Let me see that list!" Polly snatches the notepad from Vicky when it's offered to her. Polly flips through the surprisingly large amount of pages with stars in her eyes, "These are the best ideas ever! Swap the coven's potion labels, get someone to send a fake marriage form to the Interdimensional Prince, give the Slayer a list of Liam's 'weaknesses' but just put stupid stuff on it for her to do, or OHMYGOD, we throw bug bomb into the principal's office and just see what happens?!"

"How did you come up with all that!?" Scott tilts his head in awe, "Me and Polly usually spend hours trying to think up prank ideas!"

"Who cares how she did it! We have to do this stuff right now!" Polly squeals, "I heard the Coven's outside trying to stop some dumb apocalypse, let's go try the first one out! What's the worst that could happen?"

"A lot of things, but let's do it anyways," Vicky answers.

In fact, a lot of things  _ do  _ go wrong, just not for the PRANK MASTERZ. The Coven gets glitter bombed by their own potions, class 2-B gets soaked in slime, the gym floor gets covered in wax, and Principal Spider has to take a mental leave after someone sends him videos of the tarantula festival in Coarsegold. In summary, everyone's afraid to leave their safe places if fear of getting hit by pranksters on a rampage. Sadly for them, Scott, Polly, and Vicky were on a roll and didn't plan on stopping any time soon.

Currently, the PRANK MASTERZ are stalking a certain robot from afar as he talks to person after person. Strangely enough, Calculester stays outside most of the time in between classes looking at plants. It's kinda sweet how he just stares at flowers for minutes on end as if admiring them. Vicky shakes her head, now isn't the time to be focused on the robot's exploits. She's on a mission! A very, very important mission!

"Can you tell me why Cal supposedly has everyone at school's phone number?" Polly asks curiously, "He's barely been enrolled a week."

Vicky and Scott share a knowing look before Vicky chuckles nervously and speaks, "None of my business. I just know he does."

"Huh… k then!" The ghost shrugs. Vicky thanks the universe for Polly's carefree nature, "Let's just get those numbers. I want to prank call the crap out of some people."

"How are we gonna get them from him?" Scott asks.

"Easy," Vicky steps out into the open and starts towards Calculester while gesturing for Scott and Polly to follow, "We just ask."

"Why didn't I think of that?!" Polly gasps as she floats beside Vicky.

"Don't feel too bad Polly, Vicky's just super smart," Scott says grinning, "She always comes up with the best ideas."

Vicky's ears go red at Scott's comment, but she tries to direct attention away from her flusteredness by shouting to Calculester.

"Hey Calc!" Vicky successfully gets the computer on a swivel chair to turn around and pay attention to her, "We wanted to talk to you."

"Hello friend Vicky, Polly, and Scott," Calculester digitally smiles, "It is nice to communicate with you on this sunny afternoon. What is it I can help you with?"

"Look, I know you have everyone at school's number, so I was wondering if you could give us a copy of the list."

" ERROR! " Calculester's screen turns red for a moment before returning to normal, "Would it not be an invasion of privacy to hand out everyone's number?"

"No! We'd keep them to ourselves!" Polly protests, "Why would we give out our prank call numbers?! Everyone would figure out we're the prank callers and come after us!"

"That is exactly my worry Friend Polly," Calculester frowns, "I do not wish to anger all of my newly found friends. They do not deserve to be harrassed on their cellular devices."

Before Polly can talk and make things worse, Vicky tries a different approach, "But Calc, highschoolers have to take part in prank calls! It's like a right of passage!"

"It is normal to lie to fellow classmates in the hopes of tricking them? This is a very strange tradition. Are you perhaps 'pulling my leg' as the saying goes?" 

"What?! We aren't lying!" Scott jumps in, "Only bad boys lie!"

" False Equivalence . The average person lies at least 1.65 times a day (true fact), friend Scott," Calculester explains, "It is a part of organic nature to tell 'white lies' for other people's sake. Therefore, bad people and good people tell lies all the time."

"What?! B-But, b-but…" Scott looks very confused.

"Fine then mister logic man," Polly pouts, "I'll just have to prove I'm not lying!"

"That is not necessary friend Polly. I do not intend to give you other students personal information either way. Friend Miranda explained the importance of being polite and my internal drive assures me that doing what you ask of me would be very… impolite."

"No, no, no. I totally get your whole goody two shoes schick! There's no need for me to hear about your moral compass," Polly completely ignores Calculester's words, "However, I can totally convince you to do what we want with two words."

"As much as I doubt that, my curiosity module insists that I ask what those words are," Calculester moves forward a little on his swivel chair.

"Vod-ka," Polly says with a smirk as she pulls a flask out from the top of her shirt, "You give us the kids' personal numbers and I'll give you my special stash."

" ERROR! ERROR! Friend Polly, not only is Vodka one word, but it is not supposed to be drunk or kept on school grounds!" Calculester looks confused, "Why did you think this would convince me anything?!"

"Uhhh… because being sober is lame, DUH!" Polly rolls her eyes.

"Are you not sober right now, and therefore lame?" Calculester asks.

"Pft, me? Sober? Those things don't go in a sentence together!" Polly laughs, "I've always got something in my system!"

"I- that cannot be healthy friend Polly."

"I'm a ghost! Who cares!? I can't die again!" Polly shouts, "And that's why I want to spend some of my eternal afterlife pranking some unsuspecting teens, so give up those numbers Cal!"

Calculester looks properly conflicted at this point, "Even if you are a ghost and unable to die, it would still be an invasion of privacy!"

"Fine then," Polly pouts, "I hate to do this to ya buddy, but I'm gonna possess your ass and get the numbers myself!"

Vicky and Scott look at each other in panic, everyone knows ghosts can't possess computers. If they want Calculester's identity to be a secret, they'll need to intervene.

"Please do not attempt to take over my perfectly organic body," Calculester frowns and backs away, "It would be an intrusion of my personal space."

"Yeah!" Scott nods vigorously, "Why possess him when he's totally not a computer?!"

Vicky loves Scott's charming idiocracy most of the time, but it isn't helping right now, "Uhhh… instead of possessing Calc, how about we just break into Principal Spider's office and steal the files! He's too busy getting a therapist from the videos we sent him to worry about silly records going missing!"

"Oh, I get what you guys are doing," Polly suddenly calms down.

"You do?" All three of the other monsters say at once.

"Yeah! You guys think I can't actually possess people! Well, the joke's on you! I can possess anyone I want," Polly shouts before making a dive at Calculester.

"Wait!" Vicky shouts after Polly, but she's too late.

Instead of going into Calculester like she probably planned, her incorporeal form goes right through him and face plants into the ground. Scott, Vicky, and Calculester share a look of 'what do we do now' as Polly slowly sits up, shocked. 

"What just happened?! I SWORE I COULD POSSESS PEOPLE!" Polly shouts deliriously.

Vicky sees her chance and goes for it, "How many drugs are you on when you 'possessed' people Polly? Are you sure you could even do it in the first place?"

"I- I- I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE! HOW MUCH OF MY LIFE IS A LIE!" Polly cries, "HAVE MY DRUGS BETRAYED ME!"

" ERROR! Drugs are also not something you should have on school grounds friend Polly!" Calculester frowns.

"WHO CARES! I'M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW!" Polly rushes away from the group and into the school to probably have an existential crisis… until she forgets why she was freaking out.

Once the three monsters are sure Polly's gone, Calculester let's out the digital equivalent of a sigh, "That was a close one friend , Vicky and Scott. Who knew that friend Polly would be so difficult to deter."

"Can we have the students' numbers now?" Scott asks in a begging manner.

"Friend Scott I-"

"HAHAH! WE KNEW IT!" Out of nowhere, the wolfpack jumps out of a nearby bush and starts shouting in sync with each other, "YOU COULDN'T FOOL US! QUIT THE ACT! GIVE IT UP CALCULAME!" 

"Bros? What are you doing here? I didn't miss this month's full moon again did I?" Scott looks very, very confused.

"Don't 'bro' us Scott! You've been harboring that stupid nerd robot!" The wolfgang shouts, "Oh, and the full moon isn't until the end of the month, so you're good."

"Oh, cool… WAIT! WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Scott howls. (heh howls)

Quickly, Vicky glances around to see if anyone heard them. Lucky for her, Calculester likes to be alone while looking at plants. Vicky looks over to Calculester to see a giant loading symbol on his screen. Great, he probably overloads his system when he panicked.

"Ha ha," Vicky tries to fake a good laugh, "Good joke guys. Calculester, a computer? Pft,  _ so  _ funny."

Instead of getting confused or dissuaded like Vicky hoped, the wolves get a smug look, "Don't worry Vicky. We didn't believe it at first either, but the evidence spoke for itself."

Calculester boots up again and his face looks concerned, "What evidence, fellow students? Surely it's substantial if you believe that me, a completely organic being, is of digital origins."

"DO WE HAVE EVIDENCE?! Wait, do we have evidence?" One of the wolf pack members shouts before looking concerned.

Another member of the pack hits the original wolf that talked on the back of the head, "Of course we do!"

"Bros, there's no way Calc is a computer!" Scott objects, "He's too nice! If he was a computer, wouldn't he be mean like the people on the internet? Computers and the internet are practically the same right?"

Vicky notes to tell Scott computers and the internet are not the same thing, but Calculester beats her to it at the most inopportune time, "Computers and the internet are not the same thing friend Scott. The internet is a server full of 1s and 0s created by lines of code to help the organic population prosper. Computers are only pieces of machinery that can be used to connect to said servers."

"See?! There's part of our evidence!" A wolf pack member shouts as they all take turns speaking, "He talks like my phone! He smells like books and smarts! He's a nerd!"

"Woah, woah, woah boys," Vicky tries to intervene, "None of that means Calculester's a computer! You're jumping to conclusions!"

"Oh, poor sweet Vicky," The leader of the wolf pack actually walks up to Vicky and pats her on the back, "Of course you would believe Scott full heartedly, but he's been lying to you! Isn't that right Scott?!"

"What?! I would never lie to Vicky!" Scott looks overwhelmed and his tail tucked between his legs, "She's super nice to me and cheers us on at practice!"

"Don't deny it! We figured out Calcunerd was a computer when you told your favourite football about the new friend you made!" The wolf pack members growled, "A computer in the library that got cursed, came to life, then became another student! From there it was easy to connect the dots. Mostly because you said the computer's name was Calculester!"

"I-I said that?!" Scott looks guilty beyond relief, "I-I didn't mean to say that?!"

If said computer listening in could, he would be sweating, " CATALOGUING DATA... So you knew that I was an AI the whole time? Why would you wait to confront me until now?"

"For a robot, you sure are dumb!" The wolf pack members frown, "We didn't know if there were more than one Calculester at school and we had to make sure it was you! You gave us the last piece to the puzzle when Scott's ghost friend couldn't possess you!"

"Yeah!" Another wolf shouts, "Everyone knows ghosts can't possess computers! It was obvious!"

"Fine, Calc's a computer," Vicky admits with a sigh, "We promised not to tell anyone so he could have a 'normal' highschool experience at Spooky High and avoid Principal Spider's robo racism."

The wolf pack seems taken aback before they round on Calculester, "You made our little cousin' and our best cheerleader lie to keep your secrets Calcudork?! How dare you!?"

"Woah, woah! Guys come one!" Scott tries, "Calculester's our friend, not our enemy!"

"Agreed!" Calculested shouts out defensively, "I have no malicious intent. My prime directive is just to simulate normal life, experience highschool, and-"

"Shut up you bucket of bolts! Did you brainwash our bro and his girlfriend?!" The wolf pack gets closer to Calculester with harmful intent. If only he had a robotic body instead of a swivel chair…

"GAH! BROS!" Scott's tail wags against his will at what his cousins said, but his other body language stays panicked at his computer friend's dilemma.

" **_Stop that right now_ ** ."

Across the school, Oz feels a sudden chill up his spine as he talks to Damien about some of the things Zoe's told him. It feels like something's invoked his name to use his powers of fright for themselves. However, despite his gut feeling, the ignorant creature of fear shrugs it off and chalks this feeling up to the effects of hearing eldritch horror stories from Zoe the last few days. Actually, Oz might need to drag Damien off somewhere so they can take a break from the grotesque and morbid tales. Even for a demon, it can't be pleasent to learn about the seven headed beast of Dwelvere that ate newborn babies souls and murdered millions in terrible ways. 

Back outside, Vicky's tone causes all of the wolf pack to freeze involuntarily. Scott stares at Vicky's serious face, and even though he hasn't done anything wrong, his tail goes between his legs… again. Even Calculester's processing algorithms frazzle for just a moment to simulate fear.

Vicky marches right up to the leader of the wolf pack and stands between him and Calculester before doing the unthinkable. She grabs the werewolf's ear and tugs him down to eye level with her.

"Wait! We're- Gahck!" The werewolf gets cut off by Vicky tightening her grip on his ear.

"What do you think you're doing? I told you guys that me and Scott decided to help keep Calculester's secret. We were  _ not  _ brainwashed," Vicky frowns in disappointment and the other wolf pack members back away from her, and by extension Calculester, "On that topic, why were you going to get angry at Calc just because he's a computer? It's not like it's his choice what he's born as."

One of the bravest members of the pack speaks up, "B-Because people who like computers are nerds, so we thought he was a nerd too."

Vicky looks satisfied with the answer and some of the members think that's the right time to speak up, "Yeah! That dude has to be a nerd, and nerds are dumb! Also… uh..."

Vicky's sharp glare silences the werewolves, "Why does someone being a nerd mean they deserve to get harrassed? That's a horrible reason to be jerks!"

The werewolves flinch at Vicky's last statement, "B-but-"

"But what?" Vicky says sickenly sweet.

The werewolf that was about to talk wises up and stays quiet. After a few seconds of letting the werewolves soak in their own shame, Vicky lets go of the leader's ear and takes a step back.

"You were all very rude to Calculester just now. I have half the nerve to not bring snacks to the next week of practices as punishment," Vicky waves her finger around.

The ashamed werewolves suddenly look devastated, "NO! Please don't take away our practice snacks! You always bring the best beef jerky Vicky! We promise we won't call another person a nerd ever again! WE'RE SORRY!"

Vicky's softer side pops out for just a minute at the werewolves puppy dog eyes and she sighs. 

"Fine. I'll keep bringing snacks-" The werewolves break out into grins of relief, but Vicky continues, "-but only if you apologize to Calc."

There's not one moment of hesitation before all the werewolves are surrounding Calculester again, "We're sorry! Please forgive us! We won't pick on you again!"

"Of course I'll forgive you!" Calculester smiles, "But please do keep my condition a secret. While I doubt my body would keep me from being able to finish my simulation, I would hate to be kicked out of school because of my state."

"Okay! Fine! Of course! Thank you so much! You're not bad for a computer!" The wolfpack replies happily.

"Well then," Vicky smiles, "Now that that's all sorted out, don't you boys have something to do with Coach in a few minutes? I thought you were planning on practicing for practice today?"

"Oh yeah! That's totally something we do! Nothing beats practice but more practice!" The wolf pack rushes away while waving goodbye to Scott and Vicky.

Once the pack gets far enough away, Scott hugs Vicky, "I'm sorry!"

"Huh? What are you sorry for Scott? You didn't do anything!" Vicky adamantly replies.

"B-But they accidentally found out because of me! A-And they are my cousins, so I'm partially responsible for them. Plus, you looked so angry!"

"Oh, Scott…" Vicky says fondly before petting him on the head and smiling with her eyes closed, "You didn't mean to spill the secret, and even if your cousins destroyed the world, I couldn't get upset at you."

" DOCUMENTING SCHOOL INTERACTION TO INTERNAL DRIVE FOR FUTURE VIEWING… Friend Vicky, I can never thank you enough for what you've done! You not only saved me from being brutally damaged, but you also prevented my secret from coming to the light! I'm indebted to you!" 

Despite his gratitude, all Vicky can think about as she retracts her hand from Scott is what a way to ruin the moment that was. Then, Vicky got an idea and smiled mischievously.

"Are you grateful enough to give me and Scott everyone's phone number?" Vicky asks charmingly.

Calculester freezes for a moment before a loading screen pops up on his monitor, "ANALYZING OPTIONS: _Gratitude vs. Morality…"_

Vicky waits patiently as her friend comes to a decision. Scott looks at Vicky with barely concealed happiness as he touches his head longingly.

" CONCLUSION SUSTAINED," Calculester says robotically, "Friend Vicky, if you would put your cellular device close to my head, I will happily transfer the data you wish to it. My algorithms came to the conclusion that I could not have morales if I do not exist, and you are my reason for still being in existence instead of being brutally destroyed by the wolf pack. I will overlook the questionable things you do with this information this one time in return for my thankfulness."

"Sweet! Thanks Calc!" Vicky whips out her phone, and in a few seconds, her contacts are full to the brim with new people, "Wow you work fast."

"Yes I do," Calculester affirms.

"Well, come on Scott! We've gotta go find Polly so we can continue pranking people!" 

"Yeah! Let's go!" Scott bounces in place.

Before running off, both Scott and Vicky highfive, "PRANK MASTERZ!"

Calculester watches the two run away and rolls forward on his chair, "ADDING COLLECTED DATA TO PRIMARY DIRECTIVE: _True Love_

ADDING TO SECONDARY DIRECTIVES: _Find a more suitable body for hostile situations."_

Scott and Vicky rush back into the school and find Polly sitting in the library… reading a book? 

"POLLY! Vicky got the numbers from Scott! We can prank all kinds of people now!" Scott grins ear to ear and rushes over to Polly excitedly. "Also, what are you doing?"

"I'm reading! What does it look like?!" Polly looks up.

"Weren't you panicking just a couple minutes ago?" Vicky asks thoughtfully.

Polly looks up from her strange looking book, "Is that what I was doing? OH! That's probably why Valerie gave me a book. That girl knows I'm a slut for good literature, so she probably gave it to me to cheer me up! Or get me to go away… eh, who cares! I got this awesome book!"

"You like literature?" Vicky asks with a tilt of the head.

"Hell yeah! I am not some one dimensional shallow bitch!" Polly floats above the table, "I like drugs, Russian Literature, alcohol, and I'm a huge chest buff. I'm deeper than the damn ocean!"

Vicky has to cover her mouth to keep from giggling at Polly's overblown reaction, "Well, anyways, we got everyone's personal number from Calc! Who do you want to call first PRANK MASTER PRESIDENT?!"

"Forget prank calls!" Polly rolls her eyes, "Look at this book right here and tell me what you see fellow pranksters!"

"Uhhh… weird letters and human flesh?" Scott answers.

"Nope," Polly waves the book a little closer to Scott's face.

"A human eye and horrible decisions?" Vicky tries.

"Nadda, guess again!" Polly sends the two a lopsided grin.

"A book of the best places to scratch-" 

"Nevermind! This is boring, I'm just gonna tell you," Polly opens the book up and all the letters inside seem to glow and shift as if being translated, "It's a super cool prank book by somebody named Z'Gord! It's got dozens of crazy ideas and spells to cause chaos!"

"Wow! A book of pranks?! That makes coming up with ideas like…. 57% more easy!" Scott's eyes light up.

"I don't know. Isn't this a bit impulsive? What if that book was actually made to destroy the universe?" Vicky frowns.

Scott and Polly share a look before staring back at the book. They then glance back up at Vicky thoughtfully.

"I didn't think about that. Dying a third time would totally suck," Polly frowns.

Vicky laughs before grabbing the book from Polly, "I was joking guys! As long as we're careful, nothing bad can happen!"

"Oh yeah, duh!" Polly smiles, "We can just be careful!

"We're the carefullest!" Scott grins and bounces in place.

"So… who do we get first?" Vicky says while flipping through the book.

"There's a DIY joy buzzer recipe on page fifty," Polly floats over Vicky's shoulder, "I vote that!"

"Joy Buzzer it is then," Vicky flips to the correct page and smiles menacingly, "Huh, it's made from human flesh. Who wants to help get that?"

"Me!" Both Polly and Scott shout enthusiastically.

"Well them, let's get going!" Vicky closes the book and tucks it in her mystery blue backpack that she pulled out of nowhere.

"But first…" Polly starts and Vicky and Scott nod.

"1...2...3," All three monster high five, "PRANK MASTERZ!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://sierranewsonline.com/20th-annual-coarsegold-tarantula-festival/
> 
> Oh, and that tarantula festival is a real thing. It's not as bad as it sounds at first either.


	33. Mexican Hot Chocolate Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To make a sickenly sweet story. Here are the ingredients.
> 
> -2 lovesick idiots that are dense as fuck  
> -Fluff  
> -Flirting  
> -A baking club and some cookies  
> -And one stay Amira picked up off the streets

Oz is running through an abandoned temple as he gets chased by Chimera. 

Why persay, is he running away from a goat, snake, lion hybrid in a temple of all places? Well, that story goes back about five thousand years ago when a group of worshippers decided to build this place for Z'Gord in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Fast forward till about two weeks ago when Zoe decided she wanted to leave her totem; the perky eldritch abomination sends Oz to search a temple in the Sahara that she  _ 'sorta'  _ remembers people building for her. 

Oz, being the great friend that he is, volunteered to search the temple in the hopes of finding a risk free way to release Zoe. Sadly, the only thing Oz found other than some mummified corpses and sand is the giant creature chasing him at this very moment. 

"RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRR! BAAAAAAHHHHHHH! HSSSSSSSS!" Each of the Chimera's different heads makes a sound similar to the animal it represented.

Most would be terrified of the beast chasing them. Oz however, is just curious. Why is there a Chimera here? It's definitely not a guardian. Well, if it is, it's a terrible one. Oz has been walking around the dusty halls for hours with no one stopping him. So does that mean the Chimera just decided to build its nest in the abandoned shrine? Probably, considering how rare they are.

Wow, isn't Oz one lucky ducky. He found a wild Chimera, one of the most reclusive and scarce monsters alive. Oz is less enthused about this once in a lifetime opportunity than most others would be. Probably because of how hard said creature is trying to lacerate him. Why did he agree to do this again? Oh yeah, because getting chased by a beast that wants to eat him is easier than interacting with normal people and being an awkward highschooler. Geez, Oz feels like a wimp.

The Chimera behind Oz tries to swipe at him, but it's huge claws miss and hit a pillar, completely demolishing it. The creature growls in displeasure and Oz swerves down another hallway to avoid the snake head's jaws. The ancient building rumbles with every step of the humongous creature and Oz knows the building is about to at  _ least _ partially collapse. However, knowing his luck with building stability, the building is much more likely to completely topple.

At any given time Oz could have shadow jumped away to avoid the unstable infrastructure, but he didn't for one reason. The Chimera could not do the same. Now, Oz might have killed thousands of people in his long life but Chimeras are endangered. While being a murderer is the moral equivalent of an ear piercing at Spooky High, ending an entire species is a whole different level of messed up. That's why Oz is desperately trying to lead the monster out of the temple before it collapses and what might be the last Chimera alive dies because of him.

"Over here!" Oz stops near the exit of the ancient building and waves his hands to get the Chimera's attention.

It works, and the goat, lion, and sneak head snap in Oz's direction. The two monsters stare each other down before the Chimera charges at Oz. When the beast gets close enough, the incarnation of fear literally throws himself out of the way. Both the Chimera and Oz get a face full of sand. Oz from throwing himself, and the Chimera for charging it's lion head directly into a sand dune and getting stuck. 

Oz leans back up on his elbows as the Chimera scrambles to get its head out of the sand. The both of them got out just in time, because no sooner after Oz gets to his feet does the temple crumble to the ground like a stack of wooden toy blocks. 

With a sigh, Oz checks to make sure the Chimera won't be getting out of the sand too soon. The beast is stuck and is desterately pawing to get out while the goat and snake parts of the animal continue to hiss and bleat at Oz. Satisfied he has a moment to himself, Oz starts dusting sand off his shoulders and head in a futile attempt to get rid of the tiny grains covering him from his walk and run through the old structure. He makes a mental note to dump the annoying substance out of his shoes when he gets back to school. 

Speaking of school, Oz checks his watch. It's only a few minutes until lunch starts. Oz glances at the temple before looking back at the Chimera. It could probably handle finding another place to nest by itself right? Actually, why should Oz care? He already saved the creature from eventually getting crushed by its own home. If the lion, goat, snake hybrid can't find another place to stay, it's not Oz's fault. With a shrug, Oz walks into the remains of the temple before disappearing completely into the shadows.

Oz appears in the co-ed bathroom back at Spooky High scrolling through his phone. With a disappointed expression, he marks off the temple on the list of places Zoe gave him to visit. Zoe will be let down yet again. Oz keeps telling her not to get her hopes up for everything, but that's just not the kind of advice Zoe takes. Oz isn't usually a pessimist, but it's most likely Zoe won't be getting out of her prison anytime soon with the way his searches are going.

Before exiting the bathroom, Oz remembers his earlier statement and empties his sandy shoes into the trash can. This process takes a couple of minutes, and once Oz is satisfied he won't go insane from the sand all over him, he rushes to the cafetiera to have regular lunch with his best demon friend.

The moment Oz steps into the lunchroom, a familiar arm is thrown over his shoulder. 

"Hey Dames," Oz tilts his head towards the demon with his version of a smile.

"Sup Ozzie," Damien has Oz pressed up against his shoulder in a gesture similar to half-hug, "What the hell have you been up to?"

Oz stares at Damien's arm a minute before forcing away the slight heat in his cheeks. Damien's been a lot more… touchy-feely lately. It's nothing extreme, just a lot more grabbing and tugging than normal. Oz normally wouldn't mind, but he keeps getting flustered for no reason whenever Damien touches him. It's frustrating beyond belief, but his Oz's phobias seem to find it hilarious. 

"N-Nothing much," Oz works through his fluster, "How many people have you set on fire today?"

"At least forty, maybe fifty," Damien tries to sound humble, but his smug smirk shines through, "Just some dipshits that needed to learn not to disrespect me."

"Really?" Oz feints interest. As much as he likes Damien, the demon's endless stories of fire and explosions do get redundant. Not that Oz would ever tell him to stop telling them.

"Fuck yeah! There was this one bastard knome in the hallway that-" As Damien starts talking his eyes light up. It makes Oz's metaphorical heart skip a beat.

As Damien continues talking about his day, Oz subtly leads them both to their normal lunch table while nodding along with whatever Damien says. As they both sit down at the table, Damien finally retracts his arm from Oz. The incarnation of fear is relieved, but also, disappointed? Oz decides not to dwell on that too much.

"And then she tried to give me detention so I just lit the classroom on fire! Try to keep me after class with no classroom to keep me in!" Damien finishes his story with a snarl that makes all the students in a ten feet radius back up.

In the moment, Damien lights his clenched fist on fire without noticing and Oz is suddenly extra appreciative the demon's arm isn't slung over his shoulder anymore. Oz shakes his head fondly. When Damien really gets into telling a story, nobody can stop him till he's finished. 

"And-" Damien looks at Oz and suddenly stops talking before smacking his unlit hand to his face and grumbling, "Dammit, I did it again."

Oz tilts his head in confusion, "Did what?"

"That thing where I ask a question then end up talking the whole time," Damien seems annoyed with himself, "I literally asked  _ you  _ a question then started a rant about  _ my _ day."

"O-Oh," Oz is taken back by Damien's self-awareness. He really thought the demon didn't realize what he was doing, "I-I don't really mind. You like talking about your day and I like listening."

"Yeah, but I-" Damien stops abruptly and frowns in frustration before trying again, "We're friends or whatever though. You're supposed to get to talk to. That's how fucking conversations work Ozzie."

Oz gets a little more confused at Damien's insistence of him speaking, but shrugs off the weird behavior that's been becoming more and more common the last few weeks. 

"Well, okay then. What did you want me to talk about?" Oz asks curiously.

Damien responds quicker than what Oz expected, "I asked you what you've been up to lately and you said nothing, but the sand in your hair says different. What the hell's up with that?"

Instinctively, Oz reaches up and starts messing with his hair and sighing, "I thought I got it all out."

"You're not even getting it out," Without waiting for a response, Damien reaches out with his now extinguished hand and ruffles Oz's hair, "There, I got the shit out for you."

Oz tilts his head and closes his eyes in his version of a smile, "Thanks Dames."

Damien retracts his hand quickly, almost as if he got burned and stares at Oz with a blush, "W-Whatever. You're fucking welcome, now tell me why you had that crap in your hair in the first place."

Oz grabs the back of his neck in embarrassment, "I may or may not have thrown myself into a sand dune face first."

Damien stares at Oz for a moment before bursting into laughter, "You face planted into a sand dune?! Of course that's how you got stuff in your hair. Where did you even do that?! There's literally no sand in a twelve mile radius of the school."

Oz was blushing a bit in embarrassment, "I was in Africa…"

Damien sobers up a little and his laughter turns into small snickers, "Why were you in Africa?"

"I was getting chased by a Chimera," Oz looks away as his embarrassment only deepens.

"A… chimera? Let me get this straight. You were in Africa for some undisclosed reason, somehow got into a chase with a Chimera, and then face planted trying to get away."

"No!" Oz refutes in indignation, "I threw myself into a sand dune  _ to _ get away from it."

Damien snorts, "Sure Ozzie. Sure."

"Hey! I'm not lying! It was the only way to get us both out of the temple!"

"The temple?" Damien raises an eyebrow and smirks in amusement.

"Y-Yeah," Oz looks away from Damien and crosses his arms, "I was looking for something."

"Pft, what was it?" Damien scoffs.

"Uhhhhhh…"

Oz quickly thinks about the pros and cons of telling Damien he plans on releasing Z'Gord and immediately decides that the demon's crazy enough to go along with just about anything. For as stubborn as he is, Damien is surprisingly impressionable when it comes to bad ideas. Not that what Oz is doing is a bad idea, but-

"Yo earth to Ozzie," Damien waves a hand in front of Oz with a chuckle, "Don't have a damn existencial crisis just cuz' I asked you a fucking question."

"O-Oh, heh, sorry," Oz apologizes with a little embarrassment, "I've … uh… been looking for a way to let Z'Gord out of her totem without her accidentally destroying the world."

Damien barely looks surprised, "Huh, guess I shoulda seen that coming. From what I've heard, Z'Gord's really just some glorified school girl with some type of voyeurism kink."

"That is not-" Oz turns bright red and Damien starts laughing again, "Stop joking around."

"Sorry, but the look on your face was really priceless Ozzie," Damien literally wipes a tear from his eye, "H-Holy shit, that was good."

"Damien…" Oz covers his face with his hands, "Why are you like this?"

"You fucking love me," Damien says without thinking.

Oz sighs while Damien internally has a meltdown, "You're unbelievable. You're lucky I'm not telling Zoe what you said. She'd- actually, she'd probably take it as some type of compliment."

Damien's panic melts away and he tenses a bit before a feeling of anger twists his gut, "You gave the totem girl a nickname?"

Oz stays oblivious to the change in tone and shrugs, "Not really. She just needed a name other than Z'Gord for when she manifests. She came up with Zoe herself."

Damien calms down a little, but a dark pit stays in his stomach at the thought of Z'Gord…correction Zoe, having a nickname for Oz. Damien's the only one who has a nickname for the incarnation of fear and he would like to keep it that way.

Damien realizes he's stayed quiet for two long and tries to act natural, "Guess all you eldritch beings are terrible at coming up with names then. At least the totem girl didn't get hers from some old book."

Oz turns to Damien and actually pouts, "I like my name."

"Of course you would," Damien rolls his eyes, "For fucking real though, if you go on anymore epic temple runs, you have to bring me along. I am so in for killing a Chimera. Actually, aren't those things rare as hell? Damn, imagine being known for ending an entire species. How rad would that be?!"

Oz thinks back to his earlier encounter with the Chimera and sighs before shaking the thoughts from his head, "Do you really want to spend your free periods searching ancient crypts and questioning cults?"

Damien frowns a little. Oz almost certain he's going to retract his wish, but says something entirely different in a rather warm tone, "I'm sure it can't be  _ that _ fucking boring as long as I'm doing it with you."

Oz stares at Damien for a moment as the demon's brain catches up with his mouth. They both start blushing and look away from each other. Damien curses himself out for saying something so damn sappy, and Oz tries to ignore the strangely sweet comment to maintain proper brain functions.

"Wow, that was the cutest and stupidest thing I've ever watched," Damien and Oz whip their heads up to see Vicky sitting on the other side of the table."

"I- when the hell did you- " Damien takes one look at the Frankenstein's monster's smug face and blushes again, "SCREW YOU SPARKY!"

"Uh… how long have you been here Vick?" Oz asks while Damien continues spewing a string of curses to nobody in particular.

Vicky covers her mouth and giggles, "I just sat down when you asked Damien about the crypt hunting thing."

Before Oz can ask another question, Damien gets over his spree of cursing and scowls at Vicky, "Why the hell are you over her bitch?! We were busy!"

"Mmm hmm. I saw what you were doing," Vicky looks at Damien with a knowing expression, "You seemed very busy."

Oz looks between the two quizzically with his brows furrowed, "Did I miss something? I feel like I missed something."

Vicky locks eyes with Oz with a smile that says 'you're an idiot' and shrugs, "You didn't miss anything Oz. Right Damien?"

Said demon glares at Vicky for a moment before crossing his eyes and looking away in embarrassment, "Yeah, sure. Why the hell are you over here Sparky? Don't you have frogs to revive and phones to charge or something?"

Vicky takes the forced subject change without even blinking, "Polly and Scott are grabbing some stuff from the chem lab while I scope out the cafeteria. I just wanted someone to talk to till they got back and I thought you two could hold a good conversation. I can say I do not regret my table choice."

Damien literally growls at Vicky and he gives her a look that promises bodily harm. Vicky simply sends the demon an amused glance. As long as Oz is around, Damien's about as harmful as a poodle on a leash. Plus, Vicky has no sense of self preservation.

"What are you Polly and Scott doing?" Oz asks politely.

"It's a secret!" Vicky winks, "But I'll give you a hint. The P-R-A-N-K M-A-S-T-E-R-Z have a new member."

"What?!" Damien asks on full alert.

Vicky tilts her head mockingly, "I spelled out PRANK-"

"I know what you said! It's what you mean that I'm worried about!" Damien starts looking left and right as if searching for an exit.

"Prank masters?" Oz questions out loud.

"No," Vicky corrects, "It's PRANK MASTERZ! Y'know, with a z."

Oz ignores Vicky's correction in favor of looking thoughtful, "Isn't that the name of a drill in the student-"

Damien slaps a hand over where Oz's mouth would be. Oz sighs out loud and gives Damien a look.

"No matter how many times people do that, it still doesn't actually keep me from talking."

Vicky ignores Damien and tilts her head at Oz, "What were you saying about the student handbook?"

"It's just that there's a-"

Damien suddenly removes his hand and stands up, "Hey Ozzie! I just remembered there's a teacher that gave me homework this morning! You're coming with me to help!"

Damien grabs a sitting Oz's shoulders in a vice grip and practically yanks him to his feet, "Woah! What are you-"

"Taking you to help burn down a classroom. What the fuck did I just tell you five seconds ago?" Damien lets go of Oz's shoulders in favor of grabbing his hand and tugging him out of the lunch room.

"I heard what you said," Oz falls in step with Damien before looking over his shoulder and waving goodbye, "Talk to you later Vick."

"See ya Oz!" Vicky doesn't look startled by the two's departure, but she does call after Damien, "Oh, and make sure you're obvious Damien! He doesn't get subtlety!"

Before Oz can ask what Vicky's talking about, Damien doubles his pace and they're in the hallway.

"What was she talking about?" Oz says in confusion.

Damien blushes and snarls at the same time, "Who cares? Half the things that blueberry says are crazy and the other half is bullshit."

"Okay..?" Sensing Damien's dislike of the subject, Oz tries a different topic, "Can you tell me why you're  _ actually _ dragging me through the halls right now."

Damien stops in front of the lockers and stares Oz down, "Whenever Scott and Polly get together for a 'PRANK MASTERZ' meeting, shit goes down. Like, really fucked up shit."

Oz tilts his head, "That bad? I would think they'd just do silly things like fake snake cans or putting slime in people's lockers."

"That's how it starts!" Damien hisses, "They do joy buzzers and water buckets above doors, but then all of a sudden, things go south. Before anyone knows what's going on, there's poison gas in the locker room, half the ELA class is magma, and twelve students are dead because of a cursed pencil."

"Aren't you exaggerating?"

"Last Friday Ozzie! That literally happened last fucking Friday!"

"Okay, okay, I got it," Oz puts one hand up in defeat instead of two, because Damien is still holding his other.

"How did you miss all that!" Damien shouts, "The Principal had to get therapy just to come back to school! He had to get a personal therapist!"

"I'm just a little oblivious sometimes," Oz says nervously.

"Ozzie, if you weren't an immortal eldritch abomination, you would already be six feet under because of how little attention you pay to things," Damien says in exasperation.

"Probably," Oz says truthfully then stops, "But why did you drag me out into the hallway if that's all you wanted to tell me?"

Damien actually rolled his eyes, "Sparky pretty much admitted she's the new member if that goofy grin is anything to go by, and you almost told her about the emergency drill."

"You mean the thing in the student handbook called the Prank Masterz removal?" Oz asks, "I didn't know you read that."

"I didn't, but it's pretty much a survival guide of what to do if Polly, Scott, and I guess Vicky now, ever accidentally try to destroy the world."

"That's happened," Oz states it like a fact.

"Twice," Damien nods, "The whole plan has kept the school from being destroyed both times."

"Why do you care about the school getting destroyed?" Oz asks curiously.

"Because my fucking dads said if I burned or blew up the whole school I get grounded for a year," Damien scowls, "And if the whole school goes up in flames they'll find some way to pin it on me."

"Well, in their defence," Oz says dramatically, "When was the last time there was a fire at this school that wasn't caused by you?"

Damien looks fake offended, "What are you doing?! Siding with my dads?! Screw you Oz! I thought we were friends!"

Oz snorts, "Don't be that way. You know I'm right."

"Again, screw you," Damien tries to sound annoyed, but his genuine smile gets rid of the affect.

"Well, anyways," Oz looks away from Damien and unintentionally stares at their entwined hands. Why hasn't Oz let go yet? Better question, why hasn't Damien? Oz looks away quickly, not continuing that train of thought, "Since the 'prank masters' are in the lunchroom, where do you want to eat instead."

"What are you talking about? You don't eat," Damien looks confused.

"Yeah, but you do," Oz rolls his eyes like it should be obvious, "We ran out before you could get anything."

"I'm not even-" Damien's stomach growls and interrupts him.

Oz raises an eyebrow at the demon and gives a small smile, "You're not what Dames?"

Damien grumbles a bunch of intelligible stuff under his breath before relenting, "Fine, I'm hungry, but I was just gonna grab some of that cheap crap from the vending machines later."

"I've got a better idea," Oz says happily.

"What?" 

"Let's head to the baking club and I can make something for you," Oz says in excitement, "That'll be better than some chips from a vending machine right?"

"..." Damien had no idea how to respond to the gesture and to be honest, was very surprised by the offer.

Oz took the demon's silence the wrong way, "O-Or we don't have to. Y-You probably don't want to walk across the school, a-and I shouldn't have said anything. W-We can just p-pretend I didn't say anything i-if you want."

Oz's stuttering knocks Damien back into the land of the living, "Sorry, no Ozzie, I'll totally eat something you make me. I was just surprised. You really came up with that out of literally nowhere."

"Oh," Oz sighs in relief before brightening up, "Let's get going then!"

It's at this point that Damien realizes he never let go of Oz's hand. His face promptly turns pink at said realization. As Damien ponders the idea of stabbing himself in the shin. Oz guides them both down the twisting halls while gushing nervously about his time in the baking club. Only a few of Oz's words make it through Damien's thick skull.

"-we made cookies a couple days ago-"

"-the entire pantry had to be reorganized-"

"-the Coven accidentally spilled-"

"-and she keeps trying to get me to hook up with her friends. At this point I might say yes just to get her off my back."

Wait. Damien looks up at Oz. What was that last one?! Who's trying to get Oz to hook up with someone?! Nobody gets to hook up with anybody until Damien asks Ozzie out! Whatever happens after that is for future Damien to worry about.

"What did you just say?" Damien asks for Oz to repeat what he just said.

"Hmm? The thing about Violet trying to get me with her sisters, cousin, fungi friends thing?" Oz chuckles awkwardly, "Yeah, she keeps trying to sell me on the whole parasite partner for life deal."

Damien searches every nook and cranny of his brian to remember somebody named Violet. Whoever the hell she is, Damien needs to get her to back off.

"It's not that bad though," Oz shrugs, "If she gets too insistent, Tate usually distracts her by using one of their pet names."

Then it clicks for Damien, "Tiny pink girl and the hairy tall one? The two love sick idiots that are always flirting with each other?"

"Yeah," Oz nods before chuckling, "That would be them. They're always flirting or doing something sweet, even in the kitchen."

"Really?" Damien deadpans, "How can they stand all that fucking lovey dovey shit 24/7? I can't even deal with that shit occasionally!"

"I think it's because of how close they are," Oz says thoughtfully, "They pretty much know more about each other than they do themselves. It only makes sense that they get along so well because of how much they love each other. Honestly, I'm kinda jealous of them."

Damien perked up, "Why?"

"Well, wouldn't it be nice to have someone to talk to no matter what? Somebody that won't leave no matter how bad you mess up?" Oz looks almost wistful, "I have my phobias of course, but they're not really the same thing. I just think that they're really lucky to have each other, y'know?"

Damien watches as Oz talks and he finds himself speaking before he can stop himself, "Yeah. I guess love  _ is _ pretty fucking metal."

Oz looks at Damien with his version of a grin. It really makes Damien want to get this confession thing over so he can just kiss Ozzie right there. It's so goddamn unfair how cute he is! Damien looks away from Oz and stays silent as he leads the demon through the mostly empty school corridors. They reach their destination faster than expected.

"Here we are," Oz stops in front of the door to the school's student kitchen, "Oh and just to keep me from getting kicked out of the club, you're not allowed to touch anything that can heat up, uses electricity, or has sharp edges."

"Oz, I'm not some toddler. I'm not going to stab myself or something," Damien rolls his eyes.

"I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about the kitchen," Oz shakes his head fondly, "I don't want to extinguish another oven fire."

"Somebody else lit one of the ovens on fire?"

"No. They left the oven and it set itself on fire," Oz chuckles before looking down at the hand Damien's still holding, "Um, do you mind…?"

Damien follows Oz's gaze and jerks his hand away with a blush, "Oh yeah right sorry."

"It's fine," Oz shrugs then pulls a set of keys out of the void before unlocking the door and heading in, "Come on."

Oz holds the door open for Damien and the demon heads in. As far as first impressions go, Damien doesn't know much about kitchens, but this one at least looked nice. Nothing really caught the demon's attention though. After all it only had a bunch of cooking bowls and utensils. 

Oz closed the door behind Damien tilted his head to the side, "What do you want me to try and make?"

Damien crossed his arms and shrugged, "I don't care as as it's-"

"-burnt to a crisp," Oz finishes playfully and sighs, "I don't know what the point in cooking for you is when you just want things burnt."

"Well, you're the one who offered something," Damien scoffs, "You know me enough to guess what I'd want."

"Fine," Oz snorts, "Still, do you have anything in mind. I can pretty much make anything."

"Anything? So say I want a twelve layer-"

Damien gets cut off when Oz playfully hits him on the back of the head, "Don't be a jerk. I'll rephrase myself. I can make you anything that can be finished by the end of seventh period. Since I already know you're skipping that class."

"Damn, when did I get so predictable," Damien huffs.

Oz chuckles, "You haven't. I just know you too well."

"Whatever," Damien finds himself smiling at Oz, "Your friends are always saying how good all your food is, so I'll just do what you think I'll like."

Oz looks thoughtful for a moment before his eyes light up and he starts across the room, "I've got an idea. You just sit down at one of the counters. This shouldn't take too long to make."

"What are you making?" Damien asks as he follows Oz's instructions.

Oz turns to Damien and his eyes shine mischievously, "It's a surprise."

Before Damien can ask more questions, Oz turns around and heads through another door in the back of the kitchen. Oz comes back out momentarily with an armful of ingredients and his phobias going buck wild all over his body. 

Damien tries to figure out what Oz is baking by looking at what he got, but to someone who's never cooking in his life, it's just a bunch of nothing. Oz sets all the stuff on the counter before walking across the room and grabbing an apron. As Oz starts putting it on, Damien internally panics at the sight.

"What is that?" Damien actually has to force his voice to keep from cracking in surprise.

"Hmm?" Oz looks up innocently before following Damien's gaze to the apon he's putting on, "Oh, the apron…"

Damien nods absently. Said apron had a lemon pattern with frilly yellow trim and pockets. The sash that was yet to be tied around Oz's waist was also yellow with a bow in the front. It was very… feminine. Not that it bothered Damien.

"For some reason the school only bought a bunch of girly ones like this, and it's part of the procedure that you have to wear aprons when baking," Oz looks embarrassed and a bit flustered at the attention from Damien, "Most of the other guys get out of the rule because they don't fit them. I don't. It's what I get for making my body so petite."

Oz's last comment finally breaks Damien from his staring as he looks back up at Oz and tries to act unfazed by the frilly apron, "W-Well, that's fucking lame. You should get a bunch of super extravagant ones in their size for revenge. See how they like it."

"That would be hilarious," Oz laughs as he tries to tie the back of his sash without succeeding, "Dang it. Why do they make these so hard to tie."

"Do... you need help?" Damien gulps and his face heats up at the prospect of being right behind Oz as he helps him put the apron on.

Oz pauses for a moment and looks at Damien, "Ah, no. It's fine. I've got it, just watch."

Oz says that like Damien was planning to look away in the first place. Two of Oz's phobias appear out of Oz's lower back and tie a little bow with the ribbon sash. Before disappearing, one winks at Damien and the other makes a little heart with its hands. Damien blushes harder and Oz remains none the wiser.

"See? Got it," Oz says happily, "They might be annoying all the time, but my phobias can be helpful sometimes… on the rare occasion."

Damien coughs and uses his hands to hide his blushing face, "Yeah, yeah, those little shits aren't that bad all the time or whatever. Are you going to stand there all day or actually make something."

Oz's eyes light up again, and he makes his way back over to his batch of ingredients, "Right on it."

As Oz flits around the kitchen making something, Damien finds herself watching him closely. It really is quite the sight. Even without the apron to make things more interesting, Oz is a sight to see. He does everything so meticulously that it almost seems overkill and his phobias help him just as cautiously. Each step Damien finds himself unable to look away from Ozzie's movements. 

Oz is always so gentle and careful, even when he's helping Damien light things on fire or destroy public property. It's so different from Damien that it sets the demon's heart on fire. Why can't Damien just suck it up and ask his Ozzie on a fucking date?! Holding himself back like this is literally killing him.

About halfway through the cooking process, Oz starts humming without realizing and Damien contemplates how much he's going to kiss the dork when the time comes. Damien might be the opposite of a holy man but he'll thank god for giving him the boy in front of him. 

Oz knows Damien's staring, but he files it away as nothing more than interest. People stare at Oz while he's baking all the time. His phobias do make it pretty interesting to watch, and if Oz was in their shoes he'd probably be just as infatuated. However, while Oz usually only feels a bit self-conscious about the looks, Damien's gaze makes Oz feel a little light-headed, in a good way. 

Damien shifts his attention from Oz just long enough to see him dump some brown powder into the bowl and some red substance that looks like red pepper. 

Consider Damien intrigued because he can't help begin to wonder what Oz is making now.

"Can you please just tell me what you're making," Damien pleads.

Oz stops what he's doing for a moment and shakes his head at Damien, "You have to wait Dames. I told you it's a surprise."

Damien rolls his eyes and his expression gets very close to that of pouting, "Fine. Just hurry up, you know I'm impatient."

Oz gives Damien a fond glance before going back to placing the brown dough on a cookie tray, "I know, I know."

Oz puts the dough on two different trays and then puts them in different ovens. One for the normal tray of baked goods and the other for burnt. Once both timers are set and the cookies are going, Oz makes his way across the room to Damien, who's on his phone.

The moment Oz put the cookies in the oven, Damien whipped his phone out to hide the fact he's been staring for a while now. No sooner does Damien do this than the object of the demon's affection walks over with a still adorable apron on. 

"Your cookies will be out in a few minutes," Oz says as he sits down next to Damien, "What are you doing on your phone?"

Oz leans closer to Damien so that they're shoulder to shoulder and Damien looks down to see what app he randomly pulled up on his phone. Fuck, of course it was tinder. Damien hurries to get his embarrassing text conversations off the screen before Ozzie can see them, but the look on the other monster's face is pretty telling that he failed.

"Was that a dating app? Did you write a poem about that naga's username?" Oz asks seriously, "Wait, is that seriously a Haiku about a pixy's hair?"

Damien.exe has shut down. The prince of hell's life flashes before his eyes as he prays for death to take him. Anything is better than this awful situation. Sure, Miranda and Vicky stole Damien's phone once and saw this too, but Damien wasn't crushing on them! Just let the Earth swallow him whole already.

"These are so sweet Dames!" Oz looks at Damien as if he's a cute cat that needs to be pet, "I didn't take you to be the serinading type!"

Wait. What just happened? Did Oz just say that Damien was  _ adorable _ ? What the fuck is going on??????

"Damien?" Oz finally notices the magenta blush Damien has and realizes what's wrong, "I-I wasn't supposed to see that was I?"

Damien places his head in his hands and lets his words get muffled, "No. You really weren't."

"O-Oh well, I think it's n-nothing to be embarrassed about!" Oz tries to reassure Damien that everything's alright, "I mean, uhhh, you said love's metal right?! Well, what's bolder than putting your heart out on the line and asking for it?!"

Damien just drops further into a pit of despair at Oz's speech because no, he's not actually bold enough to do that right. If he was, Oz and him would at least be dating by now.

Seeing that his words didn't help, Oz snags Damien's phone from his hands and pulls the app back up, "Just look at all these people Damien! I bet each and everyone of them thought you were amazing because of how you acted! Just look at this one-"

Before Oz can read the root of Damien's embarrassment out loud, the demon snatches the phone back and immediately chucks it across the room. Oz looks startled and Damien glares at Oz.

"Forget you ever saw that!" Damien shouts in indignation, "And I am not adorable!"

Oz stays dead silent and Damien thinks he might have gone too far when the dork suddenly starts laughing. He has the  _ gall  _ to laugh at Damien, and the demon can't even find it in himself to get angry at him for it.

"Damiem, I-I'm sorry! I shouldn't be laughing, but that was just-" Oz covers the place where his mouth would be with his hand, "That was so  _ you _ . You aren't adorable, I promise okay? Does that make you feel better?"

Damien would like to say, "No, that doesn't make me feel better," but then he's being hypocritical. 

"However, you are bold, reckless, charming, and  _ rad,"  _ Oz continues, "Nothing will change that, not even some sickenly sweet texts on a dating app."

"Ozzie…"

Well, Damien certainly feels better now, and Oz certainly looks kissable. Screw waiting for some fairytale romantic moment, Damien decides to prove what Oz just said and make one of the boldest moves he's ever done. Damien closes the distance between him and Oz and smirks. The dork doesn't even notice Damien's advances until he starts speaking smoothly.

"Ozzie, I like you a lot. If you don't have a problem with it, I'm going to fucking kiss you now, mouth or no mouth," Damien tenderly grabs both sides of Oz's face and leans in to kiss him.

Or… that's what would have happened if the oven hadn't started blaring and ruined the moment entirely. All Damien's courage melts away as Oz rushes towards the beeping stove. Damien scowls down at the floor and mentally scolds himself for missing his chance.

"The burnt cookies are ready," Oz says as he takes out the first tray of charcoal black circles, "The regulars will be done in a few more minutes, but these come out first."

Thankfully, Damien's curiosity shoves all his other emotions to the back burner for a split second, "Are you going to tell me what they are now?"

Oz stops for a moment and turns to Damien with a thoughtful expression, "I want you to try them and guess first."

"Fine," Damien relents as Oz brings the tray of cookies over to the counter Damien's sitting at.

Damien takes one of the charred cookies and looks at it for a moment before jokingly saying, "You aren't trying to poison me or anything right?"

"What?!" Oz's reaction is hysterical to Damien, "No! Why would I try to poison you?!"

Damien lets out a huff of amusement before shoving the whole cookie in his mouth. Oz watches the demon closely for any reactions. However, Damien keeps his expression purposefully blank to keep Oz on edge. Which is surprisingly difficult considering how fucking good the cookie was.

"How was it?" Oz asks sincerely.

"That was literally the best damn cookie I've ever had," Damien finally lets his neutral expression fall away to show how amazed he actually is, "It's like a you dipped a double chocolate chip cookie in hot sauce, except  _ way _ better."

Damien's already reaching for another cookie and shoving it in his mouth. Holy shit, these were spicy as hell too! Not spicy enough to stop Damien, but they definitely packed a punch.

"What are these? How did you make them hot? Damn, can I just eat these for the rest of my life?" Damien continues raving about the cookies as Oz eyes light up.

"I thought you'd like them," Oz says happily.

"What  _ are _ they?" Damien asks again.

"Well, they're called Mexican Hot Chocolates Cookies," Oz finally answers, "They're spicy because they have cayenne peppers in them. I also may or may not have added more than the recipe called for because I know you like them."

"These are lit Ozzie," Damien is already on his fifth cookie, "I'm never gonna be able to eat cookies the same way again! These are actually the best ever!"

Oz chuckles with pink ears, "T-Thanks, but I don't think that's that good."

"Are you kidding me?!" Damien laughs, "These are awesome! Have more faith in yourself Ozzie."

"T-Thanks," Oz blushes brighter to Damiem's absolute delight.

The second oven beeps and Oz turns his attention in it's direction before scurrying over to it and away from Damien. Some part of the demon is a little surprised by his urgency to get to the oven, but cookies shoved in his mouth are a big distraction.

While Damien continues to gorge himself on cookies, Oz's nonexistent stomach is filled to the bream with butterflies. After Damiem got so close earlier and with how he praised Oz's cooking, he's having a bit of an internal panic. Why does Oz have to be so flustered over nothing?! Damien says nice things to Oz all the time. Why is this so different?! Inside the void, Oz can feel his phobias snickering as if they know something Oz doesn't. 

Oz takes the second batch of cookies out of the stove and sets them to cool. Almost hesitantly, Oz glances in Damien's direction to see if he's still staring. Because he was expecting to see Damien sitting at the counter, Oz jolts in surprise when he notices Damien right behind him. 

Once recovered from his surprise, Oz stares past Damien and towards the counter near the back of the room, "D-Did you already eat all of the cookies I made you?!"

"My stomach is literally made of hellfire," Damien scoffs in amusement, "I could beat anybody in this school in an eating contest if I tried. I'm literally an incinerater."

"O-Oh yeah, I forgot about that."

Damien takes a step closer to Oz and looks down at the other tray of cookies with distaste before whining, "Hmph. These ones are fucking normal."

Damien's tone makes Oz feel a lot more comfortable and the eldritch abomination offers an explanation. Oz takes one of the cookies off the tray and holds it above his opposite arm. No sooner so a group of phobias pop up and start dividing the cookie amongst themselves.

"Pemmaphobia always gets annoyed if I don't give them some of whatever I made," Oz watches as the tiny blobs of ink consume their cookies happily, "The others just take advantage of my generosity."

When Oz looks back up, Damien's warm gaze is locked on him yet again. The butterflies are back full force too. Suddenly, Oz really wants to be anywhere else and nowhere else at the same time. It's so confusing…

Damien either doesn't notice Oz's internal chaos or decides to ignore as he leans forward, "Does that mean I get to keep whatever those little shits don't eat?"

"I-If you want," Oz gets out, "B-But they aren't burn-"

Damien raises an eyebrow at Oz and pointedly sets his hands on fire, "You may not have figured it out yet Ozzie, but I'm the goddamn king of burning things. I can charr a couple of cookies if I need to."

Oz chuckles awkwardly, "F-Forgot about that too."

Damien rolls his eyes and lightly cuffs Oz on the back of the head before jokingly saying, "You keep forgetting shit and I'm gonna have to jog your memory by beating the crap out of you."

"Ha ha ha," Oz replies meekly, "So you want these cookies right? There's ziplock bags under the sinks over there. I'll just grab one."

Oz quickly heads over to the sink he just mentioned grabs the ziplock bags. He heads back to Damien and deposits the baked goods into the bag. It's at this point that Oz realizes he's still wearing his embarrassingly girly apron and sets the bag down to try and remove it. However before Oz can even make an attempt, familiar hands grip his waist.

"D-Damien…?" Oz yelps, startled.

"Let me help," The demon's tone sounds amused and also a little bit of something else Oz can't place, "You'll be fumbling with it forever if you try to do it yourself."

Before Oz can respond, Damien steps closer to Oz and starts untying the sash on the back of the apron. Damien's so close to Oz that he can practically feel the demon's breath on the back of his neck. Oz shuffles his hands anxiously as Damien starts mumbling under his breath.

"Fucking hell, those little bastards really knotted this," Damien growls lowly, "Give me a moment Ozzie. This is gonna be harder than I thought."

Damien gets even closer and Oz only nods a little in response as his face turns an unholy shade of red. Oz's head is full of flurried thoughts and feelings that he barely understands. Oz just wants to curl up in a corner and scream out his embarrassment until he's calmed down.

"Almost… and-" Damien tugs on the sash one more time and the bow comes undone, "-got it. There you go."

Oz quickly steps away from Damien and practically tears the apron off himself. Without much thought, Oz grabs the cookies on the counter and shoves them in Damien's arms. The demon in question fumbles with the bag while staring at Oz in confusion. 

"Uhhh, I just remembered t-that I'm supposed to meet up with Vicky in a little while," Oz makes up an excuse to get away from this situation and confusing feelings, "So I gotta go! S-See you later!"

Without any more of a preamble, Oz quickly speedwalks out of the room before shadow jumping outside the opposite end of the school, leaving Damien to wonder what the hell just happened. Damien walks out of the baking club and looks down both hallways before scowling. He might have gone a bit too far. However, the scowl disappears when the demon realizes Oz forgot to lock the door to the kitchen.

"Fucking dork really is forgetful," Damien rolls his eyes before locking the door behind him on his way out.

\-----------------------Extra---------------------------

"You ran away," Amira states amused, "You seriously turned tail and fled."

"What was I supposed to do?!" Oz puts his head on his head on the table and covers it with his arms, "I was panicking!"

"Oz, you have to know how difficult it is for me not to laugh at you right now," Amira says deadpan, "Like seriously, you ran away because Damien decided to flirt with you!"

"H-He was not flirting with me Amira!" Oz shoots up in his seat at the bar booth, "We already went over this!"

"Oh come on!" Amira rolls her eyes, "Oz. Stop being dense as fuck and open your eyes. Damien follows you like a lost puppy and clings to you like a toddler!"

"I-"

"No, shut up," Amira cuts Oz off, "Who does Damien sit with the most at lunch?"

"He sits with Vera, Miranda, Scott, Liam, and-"

"Wrong," Amira leans back and takes a sip of beer, "He hasn't sat with them in the last two weeks. Instead, he's been sitting with you."

"That doesn't mean-"

"Does Damien go to anybody's house but yours on the weekends and after school?" Amira asks as if the answer's obvious, which it is.

"He goes to Liam's house once every-"

"Game night does not count. Everyone's invited to that. Here's the last question. Does Damien have a nickname for anyone else?" Amira notices Oz perks up and adds, "Other than insults."

"I get what you're saying, but none of that proves Damien  _ like _ likes me," Oz deflates, "We're just really good friends."

"One second Oz," Amira looks so done as she chugs the rest of her beer, "I really need to be tipsy to deal with your love life bullshit."

"This is not about my love life," Oz sighs.

"God," Amira frowns and pinches the bridge of her nose, "Why are you so worried then, huh?"

"I'm always worried," Oz huffs, "What's new about that?"

"Okay, ignoring that obvious cry for help," Amira rolls her eyes, "You texted me in the middle math class, kidnapped me, promised to pay my weight in drinks at a bar, all for advice on what to do because Damien helped you  _ untie your  _ **_apron_ ** ."

Oz stays silent for a moment before his head hits the table again, ".....when you say it like that it sounds weird…"

"THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS!" Amira exclaims, "You're literally too dense for your own good. Just for a moment, let's just pretend Damien does like you okay? Then he asks you out on a date or whatever. Do you say yes?"

"That would never happen… Damien's too out of my league Amira. He's so confident, bold, handsome, and reckless in the best ways. Why would he ever want to date someone-" Oz sits up again and gestures to himself, "-like me?! It just doesn't make sense!"

Amira stares at Oz for a long time before closing her eyes and grabbing another one of the beers she had set on the table. Unlike the first one, Amira just downs the whole thing in one go. Once all the intoxicating liquid is gone, Amira slams the bottle down and runs her opposite hand through her fiery hair. 

"Oz, you are one of my best friends and I'm only gonna say this once. You are an absolute catch and anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot," Amira frowns, "However, you are being a dumbass right now. You literally just described Damien like he was a prince from a fairytale."

"Amira…"

"We're going to try something different now," Amira gives Oz a scrutinizing look, "If Damien decided to ask… let's say… the small witch in the Coven-"

"Hope," Oz corrects.

"Whatever, Damien decides to ask out Hope by making out with her in the cafetiera right in front of you," Amira continues despite Oz's interruption, "What are you going to do?"

Amira watches as Oz looks down and how he nervously fidgets in place. Without Oz's permission, a few of his phobias pop up and start making angry gestures at nobody in particular while others just mope and frown. One of the poor little creatures starts bawling on Oz's head.

"Ah! Guys! Stop!" Oz swats the little ink blots away and they sink back into his skin.

Amira shakes her head to keep from laughing, "I guess that's my answer."

"What! No!" Oz looks scandalized, "I-I would just be really happy that Damien found somebody he likes, even if that means we would have to hang out less and stuff. P-Plus, Damien isn't even the kind of person to date in the first place…"

Amira's gaze softens as she watches Oz start to literally start to melt in his seat. She makes a little gesture with her hand to prompt him into continuing.

"What do you mean?"

"I-I've just never heard of Damien ever actually being in a relationship with someone. S-Sure, he's told me about all the times he's gotten laid before, but that's always a one time thing," Oz sounds conflicted, "I don't want to just be a one-time thing Amira…"

Amira ignores that Oz accidentally just admitted his feelings in favor of comforting her anxious friend, "When was the last time you heard of Damien having a one night stand?"

"I may or may not have seen a bunch of Damien's tinder messages on accident today," Oz says slowly, "He had a lot of people who were offering."

"I… doubt they were recent," Amira says slowly before sighing, "Look, I'm not supposed to tell you this so keep it to yourself… But Vera keeps track of how many people everyone at Spooky High's had sex with. She may have let it slip that a certain playboy stopped having affairs around the time he met a certain fearling."

Oz looks at Amira with blind hope, "R-Really? You aren't joking?"

"Everything I say is one hundred percent true," Amira nods with a smirk.

Oz stares at Amira for another moment before the hopeful light blinks out again, "B-But I'm so… bland. Why would Damien  _ like  _ me? I have anxiety, I definately don't fall under the handsome category, and I've never even  _ had  _ sex before…"

"What did I say earlier about you being a catch Oz?" Amira waits for Oz to look at least a little ashamed before continuing, "Literally everybody in the school adores you. I'd even dare say you'd be the most popular monster in school if Damien didn't light anybody close to you on fire."

"That's not true…" Oz blushes a little at the kind words.

"Pft, you friends with everybody at school except maybe the wolfpack and the Interdimensional Prince," Amira scoffs, "Even Slayer invites you to eat lunch with her! And she hates demons of every kind!"

"I…" Oz somehow still looks hesitant.

"Oz, just think about what I said," Amira rests her head in her hands, "Even if Damien doesn't like you, which is very unlikely, you obviously have some feeling for him. Why else would you panic about him grabbing you earlier?"

Both monsters lapse into a nice quiet as the other patrons of the bar talk and chatter. Amira keeps sipping on her cheap beat and Oz stares down in his lap thoughtfully. Finally, Oz says something softly.

"I-I r-really l-like Damien," Oz admits more to himself than Amira, "W-What do I do now?"

"That's for you to decide," Amira stands up to leave and let Oz think by himself, "You grab my check and my lips will stay sealed."

Oz doesn't say anything as Amira exits the bar swiftly, leaving the lovesick teeager with a check and a crisis.


	34. Who wants to perform a ritual?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The PRANK MASTERZ are at it again! See as they piss off Damien, push kids in holes, and avoid thunder storms!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so before you read this chapter, I highly reccommend you check out this fanart from Exhausted from Existing 😴 @_shslbs_ on twitter along with their other stuff. 
> 
> https://mobile.twitter.com/_shslbs_/status/1309381750922059777

"PRANK MASTERZ meeting commence!" Polly hits the table with a tiny mallet, "Is chairmen Scott Howl present?"

"Yes!" 

"How about bookkeeper Vicky Schdmit?" Polly says deadly serious despite the goofy judge gown she's wearing for no apparent reason.

"Here!" Vicky shouts in excitement.

"President Pollina Geist? Is she here?" Polly looks around the table in the empty classroom they broke into with glee, "She's not here? Well, what are we gonna do without the president?!"

Scott looks around just like Polly, "We can't have a meeting without President Polly! We'll have to find her!"

"Polly's right in front of you Scott," Vicky gets both monster's attention, "And Polly, you are the president, remember?"

"Ooooh yeah! Duh!" Polly playfully bonks the side of her head with her mallet, "Sorry boo, I popped some ecstasy a few minutes ago. Heh, it leaves me a little loopy for a while."

"It's fine," Vicky shrugs, "Let's just get back to the meeting."

"Yeah!" Scott cheers, "I wanna know who we're pranking today!"

"Vicky, get the sacred book of pranks and put it on the table please," Polly asks politely while jittering in excitement.

"SACRED BOOK! SACRED BOOK! SACRED BOOK!" Scott chants in anticipation.

Vicky reaches into her bag and a familiar sense of absolute destruction and misery sets over the group. She grabs the human skin cover of their book of the dark arts and sets it on the table for everyone to see. The eye on the cover stares up at the ceiling, unblinking.

"What are we doing with the book today?!" Scott's tail wags.

"Yeah! What are we doing?" Polly floats closer to the book, "Are we filling the locker room with slime? Turning the gym into a real life game of the floor is lava?! Wait, we could switch everybody's bodies so they all freak! Ahhh, don't keep me waiting! Spill the beans!"

"Polly. You're the president. You're supposed to tell us what to do," Vicky giggles a little before smiling at Polly in amusement.

"Oh...huh… that's what a president does? Laaaame! I don't wanna have to come up with all the ideas!" Polly pouts.

"But you come up with the best ideas!" Scott protests.

"Yeah Polly! Who else would be a better president than you, the original member of the PRANK MASTERZ! You have seniority!" Vicky tries to encourage Polly to keep her position that literally means nothing, "Who else is as random, reckless, and high as you?"

"Damn! You're right boo!" Polly smiles ear to ear, "I'm the best! How could I expect anyone else to come up with ideas as amazing as mine!"

"Yeah!" Scott cheers, "Now what pranks are we gonna pull?"

"Uhhh…" Polly blinks a couple of times and she floats up. Fun fact, that means she lost her train of thought or can't think of anything, "I can't think of anything! Uhh, stupid ectoplasmic brain!"

"Why don't we just flip through the book and pick some random page?" Vicky suggests.

"Wow! You came up with that Vicky?!" Scott scoots his chair closer to the girl with a look of awe, "You're so smart."

Vicky's face is tinted red and she shyly brushes her hair behind her ear at Scott's affectionate words, "Thanks Scott…"

"Damn! You come up with the best ideas!" Polly agrees, "As President of the PRANK MASTERZ I name you the idea maker of the group along with the book keeper! You'll come up with all the PRANK MASTERS best ideas from now on!"

"Really?!" Vicky says in shock, "Thanks! I'll come up with the best pranks for you guys!"

"We know you will," Polly nods in satisfaction before her eyes light up and she floats closer to Vicky, "What's your first big idea?!"

"Well, we can just do the thing where I pick a random page in the Tome," Vicky reaches forward and grabs said book before flipping through it and randomly placing her finger on a page, "Okay. Who's up for summoning the eldritch abomination of insanity?"

"An eldwich what?" Scott asks in confusion.

"Summoning eldritch abomination!" Polly squeals, "That's like, the most awesome prank ever! Plus, if that cool ass book was written about them, they must be a prank god- or goddess!"

"It's a she," Vicky helpfully corrects, "Z'Gord, former ruler of the dark realm, ancient destroyer of universes, and-"

"Prankster extraordinaire?" Scott tries to finish Vicky's sentence for her.

"Well, I was gonna say eater of insanity and souls, but that's pretty close," Vicky nods at Scott.

"Hmmm… the name Z'Gord reminds me of a friend I once had," Polly says thoughtfully, "They were a totem that spat bees and melted eyes."

"Was the totem purple with little wings and horns?" Vicky looks up from the passage in the book she was reading and asks Polly.

"Oh yeah, they were the purplest!" Polly nods.

"Then this is your totem friend Polly. Apparently, Z'Gord was trapped in a prison a few thousand years ago and that prison was a totem."

"Wait. For realz?" When Vicky nods, Polly goes ballistic, "WE HAVE TO GET HER OUT! Lil buddy- eh Z'Gord, is my friend and an awesome pranker! We can't let her waste away in some wooden rod!"

"It actually says that the totem is made from the tears of the accused, but I agree with your sentiment," Vicky turns to Scott, "Are you in- Scott?! Why are you crying?!"

Sure enough, Scott's tearing up and sniffling, "Z'Gord must be lonely in that totem! No football, treats, or Vicky… how terrible!"

"Woah, calm down Scott," Vicky rushes over to the sad werewolf and rubs comforting circles into his back, "We're gonna get her out of that dumb totem and then she won't be lonely then alright?"

"Yeah Scott!" Polly adds, "And then we'll have a fourth member of the PRANK MASTERZ to have fun with!"

"R-Really?" Scott asks hopefully.

"Yeah," Vicky says with complete confidence, "We can even get started right now! All we have to do is find the totem and break it. That should be easy though because Polly already says she's friends with it."

"Oh, sorry boo. That's a no go," The ghost says sadly, "Little Buddy totally disappeared without a trace a few weeks ago. It was very sad."

"So that means they'll be stuck in the dark forever!" Scott says with a voice crack.

"No, no, no!" Vicky tries to reassure Scott before he gets sad again, "There's another way to release Z'Gord other than breaking the totem! We just have to open a rift between dimensions with a magical ritual in this book."

"A ritual is all it takes? What do we need for it?" Polly asks as Scott calms down again.

"One second," Vicky flips the page and reads something quickly, "It says we need a bone from an ancient dragon, a pound of pixie dust, the kidney of an angel, and a drop of blood from one of the summoners."

"I have dragon bones buried under the school from the last full moon! I can go dig them up!" Scott offers.

"And I have at least three pounds of pixie dust in my drug stash!" Polly adds, "I can definitely spare a pound for our mission!"

"I'll donate my blood to the cause and learn the latin for the process," Vicky closes the book in her lap, "So all we need after that is the angel's kidney. Anybody have an idea on how to get one of those?".

"We could ask an angel friend to donate their organ," Scott suggests.

"We don't know any angels," Vicky frowns.

Polly's eyes light up when she gets an idea, "We could rob an angel kidney store!"

"Those... don't exist. At least I don't think they do anyways," Vicky tilts her head in thought, "We'll have to ask one of our friends."

"But who?"

Vicky ignores Scott's question and starts mumbling, "Liam, Miranda, and Brian wouldn't be a help at all. There's no way Vera would agree without an egregious amount of money being on the table, even with Amira on our side. Damien would never keep his victims alive long enough for us to harvest a kidney-"

"That's it!" Polly squeals.

"I just said that Damien wouldn't-"

"No, no, not Damien!" Polly shakes her head, "We could that friend Oz of yours to get one. He can just grab one from inside an angel and hop away right?"

"I don't think that's something-"

"That's a great idea! Oz is super duper nice and keeps me from eating my homework!" Scott looks thrilled, "I'm sure he'd be happy to help if we asked nicely."

"And crown him an honorary member of the PRANK MASTERZ!" Polly adds.

"Wait guys, Oz isn't really into-" Vicky tries to shut the conversation down but keeps getting interrupted.

"Perfect! He actually goes to class, so let's just go get him right now!" Polly's already floating out the door with Scott hot on her tail.

"Wait! Guys!" Vicky stuffs the ancient book back in her backpack and stands up as her chair squeaks before running after her friends.

When people see Polly and Scott running down the halls getting chased by Vicky, they do the smart thing and get out of the way. Usually, Vicky considers this a good thing because they always end up getting to their destination faster than normal, but when she actually wants to stop her two co-members it's an inconvenience. Vicky knows they're getting closer to Oz when the telltale signs of a fire become blatantly obvious.

Sure enough, when Vicky follows Polly and Scott around another turn, Damien is laughing maniacally as a classroom burns while Oz shakes his head, his phobias having a mini riot on his arms and legs while watching the flames.

"HEY OZ!" Polly rushes up to both the monsters, "How are you doing on this great day?"

"F-Fine?" Oz looks startled at the poltergeist's sudden appearance but is able to get out a response.

Scott steps up right beside Polly, further encroaching on Oz's personal space to Vicky's dismay and Damien's annoyance.

"Nice weather today right?" Scott attempts to make some type of small chat.

"It's fucking raining," Damien steps up beside Oz with a predatory stare at the werewolf and gestures towards the nearest window where it is indeed raining, "It's the exact opposite of nice."

Scott looks absolutely lost when he's called out, but Polly saves him, "Whatever. Skip the chit chat. Tell them what we want Scott."

"WE NEED YOU OZ!" With no further explanation, both Polly and Scott get even closer to a very confused Oz.

The survivors of the previous classroom fire and a few curious souls who had followed Polly, Scott, and Vicky start clapping, assuming that the werewolf and ghost were confessing to Oz in their dramatic popular kids way. Three-way relationships and polyamorous triads are no rare occuance at Spooky High, so it's not a far fetched conclusion with the context, especially with Polly grabbing Oz's hands. 

Vicky's frozen in her place, stuck between wanting to laugh, drag Scott away out of jealousy, and stepping in and de-escalating the situation. However, Damien makes his move before the Frankenstein's monster can decide. 

The demon wraps an arm around Oz's waist before tugging him away from Polly's grip and against his side. Vicky watches with barely concealed glee as the demon's tail wraps itself around Oz's leg protectively. Oz now looks confused and very flustered. Vicky only has a few seconds to aww at the moment in her mind before her gaze notices Damien's expression, and mother of all that is holy does she rush between the demon and Scott. She needs to explain things before the entire school gets pummeled into oblivion by a pissed off Damien.

"W-Woah! That's not what they meant guys!" Vicky shouts her words loud enough for all the surrounding students to hear, "We're just here on PRANK MASTERZ related business! No confessions here, move along people, move along!" 

The moment the PRANK MASTERZ are mentioned, most of the students make a dead sprint as far away as they can possibly run. Oz looks much less confused by the sudden confrontation with Vicky's mention of the pranking group, but Damien's glare and grip on Oz don't lessen a bit. Polly and Scott share a look with each other before they themselves realize what's going on and look ashamed.

"Damien please don't- We didn't mean- That's not what we meant!" Polly stumbles through her words when she finally meets Damien's furiously righteous gaze.

Scott looks very afraid, "We were not asking for anything like that! We meant we needed your help Oz!"

Vicky jumps in at this point before her two friends could somehow mess up their own apologies, "We're pulling a prank that requires an angel's kidney, and Polly thought you would be the best person to ask for some reason."

"Hey! Scott thought…uh," Vicky sends Polly a warning glance before gesturing to  
Damien with her eyes, "...I-I'll just shut up now."

"You wanted me to get you an angel's kidney?" Oz asks in confusion with his ears still pink from being held fast against Damien.

Polly's eyes light up, "Yeah! You could totally just reach into an angel's body with your magic powers and yank it out for us right? We would give the title of a honorific PRANK MASTERZ member!"

"Yeah," Scott's tail starts wagging again, "You're really nice so we thought you could help."

"That's not how it works you fucking nimskulls," Damien growls with malice, "Ozzie can travel through shadows, he can't just yank an organ out of some random bastard at will."

"What?!" Polly gasps, "You mean Oz can't help us?!"

"But we need organs for our rescue mission," Scott whines, "We need his help!"

Just as Damien's about to retort with another string of insults and curses, Oz gets his attention by clearing his throat, "U-Umm, D-Dames? C-Could you let go of me for a second?"

Damien looks down at his arm and just seems to realize how tightly he had Oz pressed up against him along with the fact he had Ozzie pressed up against him in the first place. With wide eyes and a supernatural blush, Damien lets go of Oz and his tail unfurls as he looks away and mumbles something Vicky can't hear under his breath. Oz probably says something in response with his telepathy, but Vicky can't be certain. They stand in silence for a moment as both monsters look away from each other in a blushing mess.

Vicky's about to break the awkward silence when Oz finally beats her to it, "S-So is the prank you're trying to pull going to cause me and Damien to miss lunch?"

"Maybe," Polly shrugs.

"I don't know," Scott tilts his head.

Oz looks at Vicky for a real answer and she's happy to oblige, "We probably won't enact our plan until tomorrow morning. We still need to practice the chanting."

"Why do you need to learn chant- actually, nevermind. I won't ask," Oz shrugs, "If you really need an angel's kidney I can get you one. All I ask, is that you don't make a crowd think I'm being confessed to again. That was the most awkward situation I've ever been in. Which is saying a lot with me."

"Wait," Damien turns to Oz with an eyebrow raised, all earlier fluster forgotten, "How the fuck are you gonna just get a kidney?"

"That's secret," Oz deadpans then disappears through his own shadow.

Damien just stares at where Oz once was and growls before glaring at Polly and Scott. Their reactions are instantaneous as they hide behind Vicky. Scott is whimpering, and Polly looks genuinely unnerved.

"We're really sorry Damiem," Scott says with a whimper, "We didn't mean to make Oz uncomforable."

"Yeah! Making normal people uncomfortable is cool, but doing that to friends is lame af," Polly adds with a pleading tone.

"What-fucking-ever," Damien snarls.

The smoke oozing from the still burning classroom seems to let a plume out into the hallway just to make Damien look intimidating. Not that he needed it, his bloodthirsty snarl and fire-filled eyes do a well enough job of that in the first place. 

Damien raises one of his hands and ignites it with flames, "I'll let this shit slide once, but if you asshats do something like this again I will prepare a very special corner for you in hell when you eventually pass on."

"This won't happen again!" Both monsters promise with a fearful yelp.

Vicky's suddenly reminded of that night on the roof before school started. Back then, Brian was the one to use a similar threat on Damien. It feels like forever ago that blew up buildings while Oz and Damien chatted. It fills Vicky with a very happy feeling, Oz got himself quite the protective demon to take care of him.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Oz pops up behind Damien and waves at his friends before stepping out of the demon's shadow and back to where he was originally standing. Damien's gaze softens and he snuffs out the flames in his hand before stuffing both his hands into his jacket. Polly and Scott sigh and relax at Oz's arrival. Damien definitely won't roast them with him around. 

"That was quick," Vicky looks to see what Oz has in his hands, "Is the kidney in that?"

"Yeah," Oz lifts the white box in his hands up before offering it to Vicky, "It's a cooler box. As long as you don't keep it in an active volcano or something, the kidney should stay fresh until tomorrow."

"Hell yeah!" Polly grabs the box from Oz before Vicky can and floats in the air, "Magic ritual here we come!"

"Thanks Oz!" Scott reverts to his earlier enthusiasm, "This is gonna be the funnest!"

Oz puts a hand on the back of his neck and chuckles awkwardly, "Y-You're welcome Scott. Just make sure not to destroy the entirety of reality okay?"

Polly grabs Scott's arm as they start rushing down the halls to get the other ingredients, "No promises!"

Vicky places her head in her hands before starting after her fellow PRANK MASTERZ members. She turns to Oz and Damien and smiles before waving goodbye. As she rushes away, she hears one last interaction between the two.

"Okay, spill, how did you actually get a goddamn kidney?" Damien asks instistantly.

"Dames, people donate their kidneys to hospitals all the time, and Angels are literally the most selfless creatures created," Oz chuckles, "The hospitals practically give those things away like Halloween Candy."

Vicky giggles to herself as the voices fade into the distance. Those two are both such hopeless dork.

Vicky catches up to Polly and Scott when said two are digging up the land outside of the school seemingly looking for dinosaur bones. Well, Scott is digging. Polly is laughing at how soaked Scott is from the rain and the amount of mud he has all over himself. 

Vicky makes herself known by stepping out into the drenching rain and almost tripping over the multiple holes Scott's already dug.

"VICKY!" Scott bounds up to the blue monster when he notices her, "I forgot where I buried my bones!"

Polly doubles over with triple the average laughter, "How do you forget where you buried dinosaur bones Scott?"

Scott whines and looks defensive, "You forget where your drugs are all the time!"

"Yeah, but that's cuz I'm suuuuuper wasted!" Polly replies, "Actually, didn't we need drugs for or prank ritual thing?"

"We do need a pound of pixie dust," Vicky nods in Polly's direction before turning back to Scott, "And don't worry about the bones Scott. I'm sure you'll find them."

"You're right Vicky!" Scott looks re-hyped, "I'll find those bones if I have dig up the whole school yard!"

And dig he did… 

Scott didn't stop for five hours straight as he dug and dug and dug and dug. At some point Polly decided to just go get the pixy dust ahead of time and Vicky starts practicing the latin incantations for the ritual under a nearby tree to escape the rain. Every once in a while she would yell some type encouragement to Scott to make him happy.

Surprisingly, when Polly got back she took to the ancient latin words like Vicky was studying like second nature. The ghost even ends up giving Vicky tips on her pronunciation. This only leads to Polly talking about her favorite pieces of latin literature while Vicky zones out and watches Scott work.

The longer Scott works, the bigger and deeper his holes get. It's actually quite funny watching people accidentally tumble into the holes and not be able to get out again. A couple do get out those and a few even start yelling at Scott. They get about two seconds to stay angry before they meet Vicky's deadly glare and take a hint to shove off. When kids stop coming outside and falling into holes, Vicky knows the actual school day is over.

"Again, if you were going to get into literature I would recommend Héroes by Ray Loriga," Polly's words fall on Vicky's deaf ears, "But I think the classic that would fit you better personally would-"

"FOUND THEM!" Scott shouts over the sound of the rain and wind, "I found the bones!"

Polly startles, Scott's voice pulling her from her literature rant. Vicky barely hesitates to get up before rushing to Scott. She uses the ancient tome of curses and endless agony to shield her hair from the rain still going full force. As Polly starts to follow Vicky can't help but think how lucky the ghost is that rain doesn't affect her body.

Scott meets Vicky halfway holding a giant bone in both his arms, "VICKY! LOOK, LOOK, LOOK! I FOUND IT!"

"Where was it?" Vicky asks as her clothes get soaked yet again.

"It was next to the bench!" Scott says excitedly, "Right in front of it!"

"Who cares where you found it!" Polly floats forward, "We can totally rescue our totem friend now!"

"Well…" Vicky looks up at the already darkened sky that's only becoming blacker as the sun sets, "It's probably too late to do this tonight. We can do the ritual during the first period just like I told Oz."

Polly pouts, "But I wanna summon a deity of chaos now!"

"Polly, don't whine," Vicky takes on her 'mom' voice, "You can wait to summon an eldritch nightmare until tomorrow. Would you rather us mess up the spell tonight and have to get the ingredients all over again?"

"Hmph, no," Polly agrees, "I can wait until tomorrow…"

"But where are we gonna keep this bone?!" Scott lifts the giant fossil over his head, "I can't take it home with me because my bros will chew on it! That's why I buried it here in the first place!"

"I can take it," Polly shrugs, "I'll keep it nice and safe with my drug stashes."

Scott looks very hesitant to hand his bone over to Polly. Not that anybody could blame him. Polly has a bad habit of losing anything important unless it's drugs or alcohol. Vicky looks between the two once before offering her services.

"I could just take it home with me actually," Vicky suggests, "If Polly gives me her pound of pixie dust, I'll have all the stuff we need in one place."

Scott definately looks more willing to trust Vicky than Polly, "That's a really good idea!"

"I don't know. I think it'd be safer with my drugs. Plus, I don't wanna just hand out my more potent material to some druggie novice," Polly says reluctantly.

"Oh come on Polly! I'm the official idea maker of the PRANK MASTERZ! You gotta listen to my ideas!" Vicky bounces in place and ends up splashing muddy water around.

"Fine," Polly relents, "You can have my pixy dust. Don't lose it, ruin it, or use it without inviting me, k?"

"Don't worry President," Vicky lets go off the book over her head for a moment so she can do a little salute, "I'll defend your package of drugs till my dying breath!"

"Okay, here you-" Polly's phone cuts her off with a ring and she answers it, "Sup queen! …wait WHAT?! A selkie is jumping from where with what?! Holy shit, save me a drink, I gotta come see that!?"

Vicky and Scott share a glance as Polly talks. Both of the monsters are soaked through and at this point Vicky just wants to go home, relax, and take a gosh darn shower.

Polly pockets her phone and shoves the pixy dust in Vicky's arms, almost causing her to drop the ancient Tome of dark arts, "Gotta go! There's one hell of a party goning on a few blocks away and shit's about to get real! I cannot miss this!"

Without waiting for a response, Polly rushes away as quickly as possible. Vicky's hair, that was once protected by the ancient book, is now completely plastered to her head and making her feel like one of those ugly wet cats. 

Vicky sighs before looking up at the gigantic bone in Scott's arm. It has to be at least four feet long. As much as Vicky likes to brag about the strength she has for her size, she cannot carry something that heavy all the way home. At least, not when she has the kidney in a cooler, a pound of drugs, a giant book of rituals, and all the normal school stuff in her backpack. Vicky eyes the bone again. Maybe Vicky can just carry it in one arm? She might as well try right? What's the worst that could happen?

Vicky slings her backpack off her shoulders and stuffs the ancient Tome inside it before attempting to stuff the drugs inside too. Lucky for Vicky, the plastic ziplock bag full of sparkly powder fits inside with a bit of pushing. The backpack is slung back over her shoulder and Vicky picks up the kidney by her feet.

"Okay," Vicky looks at Scott with determination as she wipes wet hair out of her face, "Hand me the dinosaur bone Scott."

Scott looks unsure, "Uhhh… are you sure?"

"I've got this," Vicky nods with her arm out.

"O-Okay," Scott shifts the bones in his arms before slowly transferring it to Vicky's.

"I got this. I got this. I got this," Vicky repeats under her breath like a mantra.

Scott takes a step back once Vicky's got a good grip and slowly lets go, "Please be careful, it's really-"

"Gahh-!" The moment Scott lets go of the giant fossil, Vicky starts tipping over.

Using his ultra football instincts, Scott lunges forward and grabs Vicky before she can fall and steadys her back on her feat. Without much of a fight, Scott takes the bone back. His tail stops wagging.

"Are you okay Vicky?!" Scott exclaims, "You didn't get hurt or anything right?!"

"Nothing wounded but my pride," Vicky shakes her head, "Thanks for saving me there Scott. I don't want to ask Oz for another kidney if I drop this one in the mud. He would probably give me a lecture on responsibility."

Scott looks immensely relieved, "As long as you're not hurt."

A fluttery feeling bubbles up in Vicky's chest at the comment. She blushes a little as Scott sends her a blinding smile. Vicky just soaks up the radiance before a specifically hard raindrop to the forehead knocks her out of the moment and back to her current problem. This is a conundrum.

Vicky groans, "Dammit. What am I gonna do now?! I can't carry that thing home with all the other stuff too!"

Scott tilts his head to the side as Vicky continues to try and think up a solution to her problem, "Do you want me to walk you home?"

Vicky's attention shifts Scott quickly, "What?"

With Vicky's attention, Scott grows more excited and energetic at his idea, "I can carry the big bone for you! You said you were going to walk home with it, so I'll just act as an extra set of hands! Paws? I don't know which I have, but I'll help!"

Vicky's face heats up again, "I-I mean, as long as it isn't an inconvenience for you. I'd hate to make you walk all the way over to my house in the rain."

"It's fine!" Scott replied cheerfully, "I like the rain! It's wet! And makes mud!"

"T-Then I guess you can just… uh…" Vicky pulls the lung cooler up to her chest and hugs it, "Just follow me and I'll show you back to my apartment."

"O K!" Scott says as his tail picks up speed yet again, "I'll follow right behind you! Lead the way!"

Scott sends Vicky another smile and the tight knot in her chest relaxes. After sending Scott a copycat grin back at him, Vicky starts off towards the front of the Scott with a certain werewolf walking right alongside her. The rain is still hammering down from above, but the chill in Vicky's bones is easily offset by Scott's warm personality.

Vicky thanks her past self for unknowingly renting an apartment so close to the school. She doesn't own a driver's license to get anywhere herself and most of the DMVs around her have the entire school on a watchlist. The only person Vicky knows who might even have a proper license would be Oz, and he doesn't even need to drive anywhere.

Vicky notices Scott watching her and decides to at least make some conversation despite the less than ideal conditions, "Are you excited for tomorrow morning?"

Scott perks up at being addressed and his tail goes bonkers, "YEAH! I can't wait to meet a eldrich thing! I hope they like us enough to be our friend!"

"You can be friends with anybody Scott!" Vicky giggles, "I don't even think I've met one person who's ever said something bad about you."

"That's super nice Vicky!" Scott looks very touched, "That's why I like you too! You're super nice and really really smart! I think you're amazing!"

All at once, every atom in Vicky's face decides to heat up as she splutters out a response, "W-Well thanks! I t-think you're amazing too! You're so strong, sweet, cool, a-and handsome! Definitely the total package!"

"Wow," Scott says with sparkling eyes, "You really think all that?"

"Of course!" Vicky covers up her flustered actions with false confidence, "You're the best Scott."

"Wow, super wow," Scott's tail is going faster than the speed of light, "You're so awesome. If I'm the best, then you're the bestest of the best."

At this point Vicky doesn't know if she's just super happy or if she's actually going to have a heart attack from all these compliments from her oblivious crush. The pure smile Scott is still sending Vicky's way really melts her heart and she wants to just melt into the ground with it.

Lucky for her, Vicky recovers from her mini crisis just in time to realize she's about to walk by her apartment complex. Suddenly halting, Vicky stops in front of the structure and lets the rain pelt her for a moment.

"This is my place," Vicky gestures towards the complex.

"You own this entire building?!" Scott says in shock.

Vicky backtracks, "Oh god no. I just own one of the places in the building. I don't own a house like Oz or anything crazy like that."

At this point, the rain is getting even heavier and the wind is picking up something fierce. In the back of her head, Vicky reminds herself to check and see how long the storm's supposed to last. It's already gone on most of the day, will it last all night too?

Scott looks relieved, "Good. I would have got lost in that big of a place."

Viccky tilts her head as they make their way to the front entrance, "Have you never seen an apartment complex before?"

"Of course!" Scott shifts the giant dino bone in his arms, "Liam lives in one of these huge buildings too! And I've been there twice!"

"Oh, well, my apartment probably isn't as nice as his," Vicky warns the werewolf as she opens the door to the building and steps back to let him in.

"I don't know," Scott shrugs as he steps into the dry room, "Liam's apartment was very… not fun. There was barely anything. He said it was because he's mini- minima- mena-"

"Minimalistic?" Vicky offers.

"That's the weird word he used!" Scott says happy.

"Oh, well. I'm definitely not a minimalist," Vicky laughs nervously, "How about we just head up and you can just judge my place for yourself."

"Okay! Just give me one moment," Scott steps a good distance away from Vicky, before shaking vigorously, sending rainwater and mud everywhere. Somehow, the process left Scott being completely mud free. The whole thing reminds Vicky of a wet puppy. 

"Woah," Vicky laughs, "Do you always do that when you get wet?"

Scott looks up like a child who got caught with their hand in the cookie jar, "Maybe…"

"Oh my gosh," Vicky can't stop the next words that come out of her mouth, "That is the cutest thing I've ever seen!"

Scott blushes and when her words catch up to her, Vicky does too. They both stare each other down for a moment before Scott's surprised and red face splits into another grin.

"Nobody's ever called that cute!" Scott says enthusiastically, "They just say it's gross or rude! If you think it's then you really are the bestest of the best best!"

"O-Oh, thanks!" Vicky recovers from her embarrassment just in time for Scott to make her flustered. What a roller coaster of emotions, "Can we head up now?"

Scott nods vigorously, "I want to see where you live. I bet it's just as awesome as you!"

"Yeah…" Vicky laughs nervously yet again, "...Just as awesome."

"Yep! That is what I said!" Scott smiles, unaware of Vicky's nerves.

The two monsters head up the stairs side by side. When they reach the correct floor, Vicky rushes to her door, unlocks it before Scott catches up, and peeks into her apartment. Thank god for Oz's pestering about cleanliness, because Vicky actually remembered to tidy stuff up this morning. Vicky had thrown away all the empty snack bags, picked her dirty clothes off the floor, and even did a bit of dusting. Scott doesn't seem like the type to care about how clean Vicky's apartment is, but still.

Scott walks around the corner, spots Vicky, and walks up to her questioningly, "Why did you run away? Did I do something weird?"

"Huh? No!" Vicky shakes her head frantically, "I just wanted to make sure that uhhh… Harold, my frog, didn't make a big mess or something while I was gone."

Scott accepts Vicky's terrible excuse at face value, "Oh yeah, I heard frogs can be very cranky when left alone."

"You did?" Vicky tilts her head before stopping herself, "I mean, of course you did! Frogs are always cranky, and Harold is no exception!"

Instead of catching onto Vicky's strange behavior, Scott stares at the door into his friend's apartment excitedly.

"Can I see where you live now?" Scott asks with puppy dog eyes, "Please?"

"Gah! No! You're eyes- they're too strong!" Vicky shields her eyes from getting direct contact with the potent brainwashing devices known as Scott's eyes, "Fine, stop looking at me like that and I'll open the door!"

"Yaaaaay!" Scott shouts.

Vicky opens the door while watching Scott's excitement fondly. Vicky steps inside before letting Scott in after her. Scott scans Vicky's living room for a few moments and Vicky stays perfectly still, like a criminal awaiting they're sentence.

"I know it's not much but-"

"So cool!" Scott's eyes are practically glowing as he flits around the room, looking at different things, "It's so colorful! Wait, are those the sparkle gun things you used at our first football game? Where's your froggy buddy? Wow, is that the cooler you bring to practice? Hey, look-"

Vicky can barely get a word in as Scott raves about Vicky's place. A burden is lifted off the blue monster's shoulder and she quietly puts the stuff for the ritual away while Scott has his fun. Thankfully, the werewolf did actually set the dino bone down despite everything, so Vicky's able to put that away too. It's at this point that Vicky notices the tiny puddle at her feet and remembers how soaking wet she is. Somehow, Scott already looks completely dry. Maybe it's a werewolf thing.

Vicky is just about to send Scott home so she can jump in the shower, but a quick look out a nearby window in her peripheral stops her. The storm has only gotten worse. Vicky doesn't have the heart or nerve to send Scott out into that storm by himself.

"Hey Scott, the storm's getting bad," At the sound of Vicky's voice, Scott stops what he's doing and gives her all his attention, "It's probably a really bad idea for you to walk home by yourself in this weather. How about you just stay over until it passes?"

"You want me to stay over?" Scott tilts his head.

"Yeah, until the storm ends," The tips of Vicky's ears turn bright pink.

"I would love to!" Scott cheers.

Vicky sighs in relief, "That's good to hear. I would hate to send you home and something bad to happen."

"I would have been fine as long-" Thunder booms right outside the window and Scott suddenly tenses and dives for cover, "Eep! THUNDER!"

"Scott?!" Vicky shouts in concern, "Are you alright?! What's wrong?!"

Slowly, Scott peaks his head back over the top of Vicky's couch, "I-Is the thunder gone?"

"The thunder? The thunder is just a part of the storm."

"Then how long is the storm supposed to last?" Scott asks quietly as he looks out the window suspiciously.

"I was just about to check," Vicky whips out her phone and pulls up her weather app, "Just give me one sec."

Vicky reads the forecast and slowly starts to frown. She glances up at Scott and back at her phone a few times more. Scott has his eyes glued to the window as if waiting for something to break through it and come at him.

"So, bad news," Vicky starts, "The storm's supposed to last all night and only get worse. Since I refuse to send you out into a thunderstorm to walk home, it looks like we either need to get you a ride home-"

"The thunder's going to be around all night?!" Scott cries out in distress.

Vicky finally catches on to what's happening, "Do you have a fear of thunder?"

Scott's head dips down behind the couch a bit, but he does respond after a moment, "...yes."

On glance in the werewolf's direction and Vicky's firmly resolved that he is not going out in that storm, even if she has to punch Zeus himself in the face, "Scott, are you okay with spending the night here?"

"Staying the night?" Vicky's question seems to shock Scott enough to make him stand back up from behind the couch.

"Yeah. The storm is bad, you don't have a way home, and the… uh…" Vicky doesn't know if the actual word thunder will set Scott off so she searches for a different word, "...side effects of the storm are probably gonna stick around too, so the easy solution is you just staying over."

"Won't I be bothering you?" Scott doesn't look nervous about being rude, just curious.

"No way. It'll be like a slumber party!" Vicky smiles, "An emergency storm slumber party!"

"That sound really-"

BABOOM! KRACK!

Scott dives back behind the couch with a yelp at the sound of thunder. In the back of her mind, Vicky wonders if he'd react the same way to fireworks. If so, she'll need to replant the last game of the season's celebration party. Yes, she's already planned the party, but that's not important right now.

As Vicky makes her way over to Scott, she notices her giant blue headphones in her peripheral vision. An idea sparks in the monster's head as she grabs the headphones covered in stickers and then continues across the room to Scott.

When the werewolf comes into view, Vicky's heart clenches in sympathy. Scott's letting out high pitched whimpers and has his back pressed against his back while his hands grip the carpet. Vicky crouches down, in all her wet glory, and offers Scott a hand.

"It's probably better if you sit on the couch instead of behind it," Vicky offers a reassuring smile.

Scott calms down a little the moment he sees Vicky, but he's still hesitant when he takes her hand. They both stand up, and Vicky slowly leads Scott over to the couch and sits him down without sitting down herself. Scott is still looking towards the window anxiously and Vicky has half the mind to call Oz. He's weirdly good at calming people down when they're afraid. Scary good actually.

There's a bright flash outside and it gives Vicky just enough time to react before the thunder hits. Vicky lunges forward and places the practically soundproof headphones over Scott's sensitive ears right as thunder booms outside. Instead of jumping or yelping, Scott just looks up at Vicky confused. 

"Yes! It worked!" Vicky cheers before taking the headphones back off Scott's head.

"Why did you put those on my head?" Scott asks curiously.

"Oh well, these are the headphones for whenever I'm crafting and listening to music," Vicky explains, "They're practically soundproof, so when I saw lightning outside I just popped them on your head to see if they would cancel out the noise of the storm."

"Really? Did it work?" Scott says wondrously.

"Yeah! You didn't hear a thing!" Vicky smiles.

Scott looks at the headphones in Vicky's hand and Vicky sees this. She offers the headgear to Scott with a kind smile. 

"I really need to get in the shower so you can use these while I get cleaned up," Scott takes the headphones from Vicky while she talks, "Once I'm out we can decide if you want to go home or if you just want to stay the night. Oh, and Harold's in his tank in the kitchen if you get bored."

Scott looks excited at the idea of seeing Harold the frog, but then suddenly looks concerned as he grabs Vicky's hand, "B-But you're not supposed to take a shower in a thunderstorm! What if you get hurt?"

"You're not supposed to take a shower in a thunderstorm because of the electricity," Vicky snorts as she tucks some of her wet hair behind her ears. She then lifts her other hand up to Scott and creates a little electric field between her fingers and lets it spark for a moment before setting the hand back on her hip, "I don't have that problem."

"Wow," Scott's concern turns into awe as he continues to stare down at Vicky's hands. 

Vicky glances past Scott and out the window behind him just in time to see another flash of lightning. She grabs the headphones back from Scott and places them on his head just in time yet again. The boom resounds through the apartment for about ten seconds before it quiets down enough for Vicky to take the headphones off and hand them back to Scott. The werewolf at least seems to understand why Vicky suddenly put the headphones on him this time.

Yet again, Vicky notices the wet spot in the carpet from where she's been standing still for too long and sighs as Scott takes the headphones off to hear her, "Make sure you keep those headphones on while I'm gone, I'll be back in about fifteen minutes. I can't stand these wet clothes much longer."

Scott sends one nervous glance at the window and the headphones in his hand before smiling at Vicky. The werewolf also gives her a thumbs up. With one last check to make sure Scott would most likely be fine by himself, Vicky heads towards her bathroom.

The shower itself actually went by nicely. Vicky only got struck by lightning once! Plus, there was no howling or loud bangs from the rest of her apartment, so Vicky assumes Scott's doing ok. Although, each loud bang of thunder does cause her to tense a bit in worry. Vicky does kinda bad for leaving Scott by himself, but there was no way she was dealing with soggy clothes and mud all night.

Once finally getting out and picking up a clean pair of dry clothes, Vicky is greeted by the sight of Scott on the coach having some type of staring contest with Harold, who's set on the coffee table. The blue frog and werewolf are both locked in a battle of intense gazes. Vicky nods in satisfaction when she sees Scott remembered not to take her headphones off. No offense to him, but Scott is notorious for forgetting instructions. Although, Scott's never forgot anything Vicky's asked him to do, so that might just be a schoolyard rumor.

Creeping up behind the two, Vicky slowly reaches towards the headphones with a mischievous giggle. Harold croaks loudly to warn Scott and Vicky freezes before remembering Scott can't hear the frog. Thinking she's in the clear, Vicky proceeds inches forward to take off the headphones and surprise Scott. However, Harold has other plans. With another loud croak, the frog leaps forward and lands directly on Vicky's face. The action surprises Vicky so much that she falls backwards with Harold still on her face.

With the center of his attention gone, Scott stands up and turns around to see where his little friend went off to. The werewolf turns around to see Vicky on the ground with a certain frog setting proudly on her chest. Scott takes off his headphones and gets closer in curiosity.

Vicky chuckles a little from the ground, "Uh, hey Scott. I'm out of the shower."

"Hi Vicky," Scott replied politely, "Are you alright? Why are you on the floor?"

Instead of answering verbally, Vicky just stares at the frog on her chest. Said froget's out a proud croak before hopping away to wherever he went when Vicky let him loose in the apartment. Vicky watches him go with a frown. She brings him back to life, feeds him, charges him, and gives him a place to stay, and what does he do? Ruins her fun and knocks her to the ground.

"Hmph, ingrate," Vicky huffs in annoyance.

"Do you need help up?" Scott either chooses not to comment or just doesn't find the situation comment worthy.

Vicky's attention snaps to Scott and she smiles, "If you wouldn't mind- woah!"

Not letting Vicky finish, Scott leans down and scoops her up into his arms before bringing her around the couch and setting her down in a sitting position. Vicky's blushing like her life depends on it while Scott remains curiously oblivious to his own actions.

"W-Why did you do that?" Vicky stammers.

"I thought you wanted help off the floor?" Scott says quizzically, "Did I do the wrong thing?"

Vicky tries to come up with a response but her brain is still catching up with her heart, "I- uh… why? I don't even-"

"I did do the wrong thing, didn't I?" Scott takes Vicky's fluster the wrong way and starts apologizing, "I'm so sorry Vicky! I don't know what you meant for me to do, but I misunderstood. I won't ever do that-"

Vicky's brain and mouth finally catch up and decide to communicate with each other, "NO! I mean- *cough* no. You did exactly what I asked you to do! I was just a little surprised, that's all!"

Scott looks relieved, "Oh? Thank goodness! Like I said earlier, you're the bestest of the best's best! I don't want to ever make you upset!"

That's the exact moment Vicky's heart melts into a puddle. That's such a Scott thing to say. It makes her kinda happy and just draws attention to how sweet the werewolf is in general. Always stopping in the hallway to say hello, always the first person to greet Vicky in the morning, always the first to suggest eating lunch together. Scott's just too good.

As Vicky's thinking about all these different qualities, she notices how close the two are sitting. Only a few inches really separate their faces and Vicky finds that alarming and wonderful all at the same time. The steady thuds of rain outside set the perfect atmosphere for this peaceful moment. In tha back of Vicky's mind, she wonders if the doctor who sewed her together gave her a jackhammer for a heart because she's pretty sure it's not supposed to be that loud.

"Do you really mean that?" Vicky asks breathlessly.

Vicky had no idea Scott's smile could be more blinding, but right now, it was fifty times brighter than usual, "Of course! Why would I ever want to make you sad?! I like you too much to make you sad!"

Without noticing it, Scott got even closer as he spoke. The inches are slowly disappearing between the two. Vicky wonders if this is really going where she thinks it is when-

BRINNNNG! BRINNNNNG!

Vicky jumps away from Scott in surprise. She scans the room for the source of the noise before realizing it's coming from her blue backpack near the door. It must be her phone. Since almost nobody ever calls Vicky, she considers that it might be important and rushes to grab it. Scott watches her rush across the room in confusion. 

Vicky fishes her phone out of her backpack before looking at who was calling, "Why is Coach calling me this late? Wait, why do I have so many missed calls from Coach? When did he call?"

When Coach finally accepted that Vicky was going to show up to practices no matter what. He asked for her number so he could just update her if the football practice changed instead of her breaking into the school's files on a weekly basis. It was a win-win situation.

Scott forgets his earlier dilema and points at the headphones still in Vicky's other hand, "I couldn't hear if they called cause I was wearing those."

Realization lights up Vicky's face, "Oh right, so he must have been calling while I was getting cleaned up and you were playing with Harold."

Scott only nods in response as he awkwardly shuffles on the couch by himself while watching Vicky. The storm is still at it outside, and Vicky finds the once calming sound to be annoying. How is Coach supposed to hear her with all that in the bathroom. Deciding she'll just have to deal with the bad reception too, Vicky answers the call and puts it to her ear.

"Hey Coach, this is Vicky. Sorry I didn't answer your earlier calls, I was in the shower," Vicky immediately apologizes, "What did you need?"

"Vicky!" Coach's loud and exuberant voice shouts, "The Howl family called me about an hour ago! Scott hasn't come home yet and he never said anything about staying out! Normally, they wouldn't call just because he's late for getting home, but he apparently detests thunder storms! You wouldn't happen to know where the boy is, would you?"

Vicky looks up at Scott's curious expression and answers, "He's actually here with me right now. Would you like me to put him on the phone?"

"He's there with you?! PERFECT! Put the boy on!" Vicky has to move the phone away from her ear as Coach screams.

"Ow," Vicky covers the ear she had the phone up to as she makes her way to Scott, "One second Coach, here he is."

Scott takes the phone and offers a questioning look, "Why does Coach want to talk to me from your phone?"

"You're not home and your family's worried for you because of the storm," Vicky explains quickly, "Coach wanted to know where you were and I told him you were on my couch."

Scott still looks a bit confused, but puts the phone up to his ears anyways, "Hey Coach?"

Vicky stands still and listens to Scott talking. She can't hear what's being said on the other side of the line, but Scott seems very happy about it. His tail goes bonkers and his voice gets filled with more and more excitement.

"Sure Coach- yeah, she already suggested that- What? Of course I know how babies are made, why is that important? Oh! That makes sense! I promise! Yes, yes, no. Okay, tell them I'm good, bye Coach!" Scott pushes a button on Vicky's phone and hangs up before handing it back to her.

Vicky takes the offered phone, "What did he say?"

"Oh! Because of the thunderstorm he said I should just ask you to let me stay the night! Then I told him you already suggested that and he started talking about birds and bees!" Scott's talking faster than Vicky can process, "After that he reminded me to answer my phone cause I really had all my cousins worried."

"Well, that's good news," All Vicky took from that was that Scott was spending the night, hopefully nothing else was seriously important.

"Yeah! It's the best news!" Scott says enthusiastically, "What are we gonna do first?"

Vicky looks thoughtful as she contemplates all the different sleepover activities her and her friends usually have. Maybe they should start with board games? What about crafts? Vicky makes a decision and decides to suggest something. 

"How about we start with-" 

\------------------------Extra--------------------------

"I'm sorry, but that's really not what happened," Oz shakes his head at Calculester while Damien glares.

"I'm sorry friend Oz, but I am still not understanding," Calculester frowns digitally, "I have heard from multiple sources that Scott and Polly both expressed romantic interest in you earlier today. My behavior scanners told me that they were not lying. Could you please elaborate on what you're trying to explain"

Oz shakes his head in exasperation, "Polly and Scott weren't asking me out, they were asking for a favor. They just wanted my help with something and did a poor job of expressing themselves."

"...DOES NOT COMPUTE," Calculester's screen glitches, "My sources were not lying but neither are you. What does this mean?"

"...damn it all to hell. This is the fifth fucking person in the last two hours," Damien grumbles and crosses his arms.

Oz can't help but share Damien's sentiment. Apparently, Vicky didn't do a good enough job explaining that the two were not saying that they 'needed Oz' for romantic reasons, but rather PRANK MASTERZ business. People have been coming up to Oz all day to either ask if he said yes or congratulate him, depending on what they heard. Each time Oz would explain what would happen and hope people would spread the word. Sadly, rumors spread fast and nobody who knows the truth wants to share it.

"Calculester, high schoolers are known for something called gossip," Oz starts to explain as best as he can, "These are rumors people heard from other people about other people. They don't have any actual facts to back them up, but they believe them anyways. You think they're telling the truth because they think they're telling the truth."

"...PROCESSING NEW DATA," Cculester has a little loading icon before his monitor switches to a thoughtful expression, "So… let me try to understand this. People hear things from other people and believe them for no other reason than to believe them. Since all these statements have no facts to back them up, they can be true or false?"

"Yes," Oz nods.

"Hmmm… so the best way to counteract this is to ask the person I heard things from for their source? That way I can decide if they're information is reliable or not," Calculester says more to himself than Oz.

"Sure, that would work," Oz nods again, "Just remember, Polly and Scott did not ask me out. Tell anyone who says that they're wrong."

"Yes friend Oz! I will correct any misinformed people the truth," Calculester smiles yet again, "I must go text my new gossip data on a willing applicant now. Goodbye friend Damien and Oz."

"Bye Calc," Oz eaves goodbye as the computer in a chair rolls away.

Damien doesn't say anything until Oz softly elbows him, "Guh, fine. Bye Cal. Don't install any viruses or whatever."

Once Calculester leaves earshot, Oz untenses, "How many more people are gonna ask me that today? I'm getting harassed by people at this point."

"Polly and Scott are dumasses," Damien scowls then adds seriously, "I'll kick their asses for you the next time I see them."

"I-It's not that bad! Don't do that! Vicky would literally kill me if you hurt Scott," Oz tries to calm down his demon friend that's been very expressive about his dislike of the situation.

"What I'm hearing is that Polly's up for the taking," Damien scoffs.

"That's not what I said and you know it," Oz sounds serious, but Damien can tell he's amused, "How would you even beat her up? She's already dead."

"...It's a secret," Damien looks straight at Oz and smirks.

Oz covers his face and his ears turn red, "I was trying to sound cool! Don't make fun of what I said earlier! What else was I supposed to say!"

"If you were trying to sound cool, you should have said you were getting a kidney from a live angel," Damien teases, "Saying 'it's a secret' makes you sound like some awful close up magician."

"Shut up," Oz keeps his hands over his face as his phobias make fun of him too.

Damien slings his arm over Ozzie, just like he always does and leans close, "Aww, don't be like that. I think it's fucking adorable that you're trying be as cool as me Ozzie, but you do better being a dork."

Oz whips his head up, red for a different reason, "...cute? Really?"

Damien catches his mistake and laughs awkwardly, trying to save himself while blushing, "I- uh yeah? You're like a platypus or something."

Oz can't help snorting, "You're comparing me to a platypus?"

Damien thanks himself for directing the conversation away from the fact he called Oz cute. Now it's time to pull some more bullshit out of nowhere, "No, like actually fucking think about it. Those things are the weirdest little bastards. They look all friendly and cuddly, but before you know it- BAM! That little fuckee stabbed you with his poisoned claw and is out!"

"You're still comparing me to a platypus Damien!" Oz tries to act offended, but his face gives away how hard he's trying not to laugh.

"You're not listening," Oz rolls his eyes and starts walking to the cafeteria with Damien hot on his heels, "Those guys look all weak and defenseless but they're actually little badasses. That fits you perfectly!"

"Pft, please just shut up," Oz finally starts laughing and Damien soaks in the sound, marking this as a win for him, "I won't make you more sweets just because you missed lunch to be an asshole."

"Uhh, fine," Damien rolls his eyes as they get into the lunch room. However, the moment the two step in, heads turn and people start whispering. Damien glares around the room, "If another person asks if you're dating Scott and Polly, I will light them on fire."

"Please don't," Oz begs.

"Fine, I'll just light some tables on fire," Damien tries.

Oz sighs, knowing that's the best he'll get, "Deal. Now got get your food so we can talk about-"

"Oz!" Oz looks up to see Vera, Amira, Miranda, Valerie, Dahlia, and surprisingly Aaravi coming his way.

"Uhh, h-hi guys?" All of his friends have their eyes glued to Oz, "What do you want?"

"We all heard a very interesting thing today," Vera starts, "Two of my close friends admitted to having feelings for you this morning. I'd like to know what you said to them."

"Yes!" Miranda jumps in, "Did you accept Polly and Scott's courtship or did you reject them tragically!?"

Dahlia jumps in, "Is Scott gonna keep working out with me even though you're dating?!"

"That's not a relevant question Dahlia," Vera rolls her eyes, "Stay on topic!"

"If you three stop by the shop this week I'll totally give you a new couple's discount," Valerie jumps in.

Aaravi unsheathes her swords and points it in the air, "If you have more allies to fight against me with, I must inspect their weaknesses thoroughly so i can best you in a fight before you inevitably join me on the side of justice."

"Wait, guys-" Oz tries to stop the conversation to no avail.

"I'm telling you that there's no way Oz said yes," Amira adds her opinion, "The three of them have barely hung out before. Plus, Scott has his own love thing going on."

"Oh! He's having an affair even though he's already in a relationship! How shameful and scandalous!" Miranda jumps in with a gasp.

"Scott isn't having an affair Miranda," Amira face palms.

"Amira's right," Vera nods, "Scott is loyal to a fault. He's more like a dog than a werewolf sometimes."

Amira gets closer to Vera and sends her a playful smirk, "Thanks for agreeing with me hot stuff."

Vera blushes a little, "I told you to stop calling me that!"

"Wait, wait, wait. Back it up," Aaravi has a notepad and pen out, "You said he's loyal to a fault. That means it's his weakness right?!"

The group slowly starts to descend into arguing whether or not Oz said yes to Scott and Polly's advances. Oz watches with wide eyes and wonders what he could even do to mediate the fighting.

"Oh come one, Polly and Scott have never once shown an interest in Oz before," Amira rolls her eyes, "Oz might even already have eyes for someone else! Did you ever think of that?!"

Oz panics, Amira becomes a lot more loose-lipped than normal when she's in a good spat, and Oz refuses to let his true feelings come to light in a fight. Just as he's about to consider how to break all this up, something expected yet unexpected happens.

"Oz. I'm burning all the lunch tables, then the students sitting at those tables, then the classrooms, and then I'm going after Polly and Scott," The poor malice and dark intent grabs the arguing monsters' attention. Damien has both his fists lit on fire and starts stalking towards the nearest table. Most students are smart enough to run away.

All the arguing monsters watch as Damien storms away with a bit of surprise and wariness. When did he get here, and what's he so mad about anyways?

"YOU PROMISED JUST THE TABLES DAMIEN! YOU CAN'T GET ANOTHER DETENTION!" Oz takes a few steps to follow the demon.

"I DO WHATEVER I WANT!" Damien shouts back as he flips a table.

Oz is about to take off and try to stop Damien from actually cremating someone, when he remembers the monsters that started this and turns around, "If you want to know what happened go ask Calculester!"

Oz takes off after Damien as he stomps out of the now flaming and table-free lunchroom. Funnily enough, Damien pauses at the exit just long enough for Oz to catch up.

"Oh my god. They're perfect for each other," Amira says under her breath with glee as her little group watches them go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out this fanart from Exhausted from Existing 😴 @_shslbs_ on twitter. Again I'll say, it's amazing and they are awsome an awesome artist!
> 
> https://mobile.twitter.com/_shslbs_/status/1309381750922059777


	35. Everyone's taumatized after this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, things just go crazy, but hey! Zoe's here!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have broken 200,000 words!

After a long night, Vicky and Scott head to Spooky High early the next morning to set up the ritual before Polly arrives. They want to surprise her, or at least, that's what Vicky told Scott. She really just didn't want the ghost to get distracted and accidentally destroy the summoning circle, so they'd have to go hunt down the ingredients again.

The previous night was crazy. Not crazy like someone's gonna die, get drunk, or be traumatized for life kinda crazy, but the kind of crazy when two best friends get together and only come up with stupid but harmless ideas. Most of it was spent playing, if you mix two things in the kitchen together will it still be edible? Spoiler, it's all edible, but why would someone torture themselves to find out? The answer is because Scott will literally try anything.

Back to the present, Scott and Polly were busy setting up for the ritual that opens up an interdimensional rift to Z'Gord. Scott used his superior strength to break the dino bone into many pieces to be laid out on each corner of the pentagram while Vicky made said pentagram with pixie dust. The whole blood of the summoner and angel organ thing comes up later, so Vicky can practice her latin another few minutes before Polly shows up and stuff gets real.

At this point, more and more students are arriving at school. Luckily, since the PRANK MASTERZ decided to put their home base in an empty classroom, they don't have to worry about being disturbed. Not that any student in their right mind would try to disturb them. Vicky and Scott just sit there for a little while with the only noise being that of the hallway. 

"When does Polly usually show up for school?" Vicky asks while sitting on top of a table and kicking her legs.

"Hmm?" Scott looks up, "She usually gets her by 3rd period!"

Vicky groans, "3rd period! Why did I drag us here that early then! We had to get all of this here in the dark!"

"Don't act so sad!" Scott pouts, "Maybe Polly'll show up early today! She sounded super excited yesterday!"

"I hope so," Vicky sighs and falls back on the table as she takes out her phone and checks it.

"She could already be here and just got distracted," Scott says thoughtfully, "I get distracted all the time!"

"Yeah. Maybe Damien found her. I heard that he went on one hell of after that thing where everyone thought you asked Oz out. Although Oz supposedly calmed him down by bargaining sweets or something?" Vicky suddenly starts snorting, "Those two are the absolute cutest together. Damien gets so jealous and Oz is the only one that can calm him down."

"Yeah," Scott nods, "Everyone thinks they love each other."

Vicky sits back up abruptly, "Hold one flip flapping second! You've heard people talking about Damien and Oz? You have to tell me what you've heard!"

"Sure!" Scott agrees obediently, "Some of the cheerleaders had an argument over their ship name in hall Monday, Miranda's started calling Oz a prince because she thinks he's betrothed to Damien, and some students started a petition to make them the school's big main couple instead of Tate and Violet."

"OH MY GOSH YESSS!" Vicky has literal stars in eyes, "What about Vera, Polly, and Liam?! Have they said anything?!"

"Oh yeah! They talk about it all the time," Scott nods, "Liam and Vera have been arguing about who's going to confess first for the last three weeks and Polly bribed a kid into stalking the bathrooms to see if Oz and Damien come out with hickies."

"Dang! Those two really are lovesick! Why is it that everyone can see they like each other except them!?" Vicky rants, "They're just too dense! If Oz doesn't suck it up, I'm going to push them both in a locker and trap them until they start making out!"

Suddenly, the door into the classroom opens with a bang, "Who's making out?! Nobody gets to make out without me here to supervise!"

Polly rushes into the classroom and scans the room for anybody kissing. When she only sees Vicky and Scott, both of which are on opposite sides of the room, she pouts.

"Wait! Nobody's actually swapping spit?! Boo! Bad Boooooo!" Polly crosses her arms.

"Dearest Polly, how could anybody kiss without at least being in my presence," A rift in space appears out of nowhere and the Inderdimensional Prince steps out, "My brilliance is the only thing that can inspire such romantic actions."

Vicky frowns bitterly, "What are  _ you _ doing here? Please tell me it's not to ask Scott for sex again."

The prince gasps as if he's offended, "I would never get with someone just to fornicate! I only ask for the commitment that is marriage… with the benefit of intercouse. However, that is not what I am here for today! Well, unless one of you wants to marry me."

"We don't," Vicky deapans.

"So you're going to ask Polly out again?" Scott asks, looking relieved to not be getting proposed to.

"Not at all my furry sweet, I was actually invited!" The prince says happily, "I was told my interdimensional expertise was absolutely needed!"

Vicky eyes the Prince suspiciously before glaring at Polly, "It was you wasn't it?"

"Yepperino!" Polly nods, "We're ripping a hole in the fabric of reality, I thought we could use an expert's help!"

"And an expert I am!" The prince smiles and his teeth sparkle, "You'll be very thankful I'm here to help when this is over. Maybe thankful enough to-"

Vicky cuts him off, "We didn't need his help Polly! We were fine on our own!"

"Maybe, but I wanted to make things more interesting!" Polly pouts, "Plus, how else was I supposed to get him to leave me alone!"

"Uh, here's a list. Pepper spray, kicks between the legs, aimed punches for the nose, any sharp objects nearby-" As Vicky continues, the Prince pales. He'll remember to never ask Vicky to marry him.

"Well it's too late now!" Polly huffs, "As you're president, I'm telling you that the Interdimensional Prince is helping!"

Vicky grumbles under her breath before frowning, "Fine. Can we just get started! I need an eldritch nightmare to make my day better at this point."

"You've got everything set up already right?" Polly asks and Scott, "Then let's get this party started!"

Vicky looks a little less annoyed and jumps off the table she's sitting on, "Finally! I call dibs on getting to give whatever comes out of the rift a high five first!"

"What!? I wanted to do that!" Scott frowns.

Vicky takes one look at her friends and sighs, "Fine. You can have the high five, but I get the first question."

"Hey, what about me! I wanna call dibs on something!" Polly floats forward.

"People who get to school early and help get to call dibs on things Polly," Vicky says diplomatically, "As the saying goes, the early bird gets the worm."

"No fair! I'm the president!" Polly frowns as she makes her way to the pentagram made out of drugs and bones.

"Excuse me," The prince inserts himself into the conversation, "What would you like me to do?"

"What didn't I make clear earlier when I said we didn't need your help," Vicky rolls her eyes, "Go sit in the corner and wait for the grown-ups to get the real work done. If you're good, I might let you try to marry the angry deity that comes out of our portal."

"A horrible abomination from the nightmare dimension?" The Prince said thoughtfully, "I bet they'd be very kinky… yes, I would like to ask whatever comes out of that portal out."

"Good," Vicky says as she uses a tiny pocket knife she brought to slit her finger, "Now go sit in the corner like a good little prince and wait for your chance to get rejected."

"Okay!" The prince walks to the back of the room and lays down on top of a table suggestively, "~Is this good?"

Polly looks up, "That's the-"

Vicky places her uncut hand over the ghost's mouth, "Don't give him attention. He doesn't deserve it, and it'll only rile him up."

Polly nods to show she understood and Vicky removes her hand slowly. With a quick glare in the Prince's direction, Vicky turns towards the summoning circle and lets a single drop of her blood drip into the circle.

"Okay, we're almost ready," Vicky turns to Polly, "Hand me the angel organ and all I have to do is say the stuff."

Polly excitedly opens the cooler with a lung in it and tosses the organ to Vicky. Vicky, not expecting an entire kidney to get thrown at her, barely manages to catch the thing before it hits the ground. Good thing for her, she does not drop the organ and mess up the entire ritual. With a relieved sigh, Vicky uses the same pocket knife as earlier to stab into the kidney and cut a jagged Z. As the organ starts to bleed a golden liquid, Vicky sets the in the center of the pentagram before stepping in and grabbing the ancient Tome of dark arts. 

The moment Vicky steps foot into the circle, it lights on fire around her. The flames burst into giant fiery walls. There's some type of concerned shout from outside the pentagon.

To reassure her friend's things are going all right, Vicky shouts over the sound of crackling flames, "I'M ALRIGHT GUYS! This is supposed to happen!"

The wall stays put for a few more moments before fading into a light purple glow and disappearing into what used to be pixie dust but is now just charred sludge. Scott and Polly look relieved to be able to see Vicky again, completely unharmed once the flames die down. 

The pentagram starts to flash different random colors, and the atmosphere in the room grows tense as Vicky flips through the book's pages. She finds the correct spell and words and prepares herself for what comes next with a deep breath and a tiny bounce in place.

"Okay, we're in rush hour now," Vicky says as she rereads the incantation needed to open a rift in space time, "Ok guys, don't interrupt me unless things go really, really wrong."

"Gotcha," Polly sends Vicky a thumbs up.

"I'll stay quiet for you!" Scott nods.

"I don't know why anybody wouldn't want to hear my voice, but I suppose I'll stay quiet," The Interdimensional prince says in a flirty manner with a- how did he get a rose to put in his mouth?!

"Good. I got this," Vicky chooses to ignore the prince and shakes her head to sike herself up for the reading. She starts, "Come forth dark master of the realm of nightmares. Destroy the souls of those who go against you. Massacre those who stay complacent when they should worship you. Eradicate everything so that we may start anew. Come forth, feeder of insanity. Come forth, invoker of terror. Come forth, destroyer of worlds. Come forth, Z'Gord!"

As Vicky continues talking, the room gets more and more stuffy, and the light in the classroom seems to be dimming rapidly. The smell of rotten flesh also seems to invade the space of the ritual. Yet despite all these signs, Vicky continues.

"Z'Gord! True ruler of the Dark Realm!" A glowing light appears out of nowhere in front of Vicky and all the papers in the room start to fly around.

"Z'Gord! The one who feeds on insanity and strikes fear into the hearts of monsters and humans alike!" The textbooks are next, and Vicky has to hold the magic book with one hand while she uses the other to hold her hair back. The light floating midair in front of her seems to brighten.

"Z'Gord! Destroyer of ancient civilizations and peoples!" The glowing light in front of the pentagram starts to stretch into a vertical line as howling wind rips through the classroom.

"Z'Gord! The name that strikes fear into the hearts of monsters and humans alike, and drives people insane!" The glowing white light bursts bright white and blinds everyone. For a moment, Vicky panics, but the light fades and she can see the book again to finish the spell.

"Z'GORD! COME OUT OF YOUR PRISON AND FULFILL YOUR DESTINY" Vicky has to scream over the wind ripping around the classroom to hear herself, "HONOR US WITH YOUR PRESENCE SO WE MAY SEE YOUR GLORIOUS VICTORY OVER LIFE AND DEATH ITSELF!"

The white line rips open with a horrifying sound and all the wind in the classrooms abruptly stops. All that can be seen on the other side of the rift in space is the darkness. In the back of Vicky's mind it reminds her of Oz's void for some reason. However, this darkness is very different from the kind Oz has access to. It radiates a kind of energy that makes Vicky want to run, puke, and scream all at once. Despite her survival instincts, Vicky stands straight and looks into the void.

"U-Uhmmm, H-Hello M-Miss Z'Gord. A-Are y-you in there?" Vicky stutters as she stares into the darkness, "I-It's nice t-to m-meet you i-if you are! P-Polly says she k-knows y-y-you!"

There's no response in the black expanse beyond the rift. That is, until something shifts inside the void. 

"H-Hey! Little buddy! I m-mean you're a b-big buddy now," Polly tries to talk normally, but even her immortal soul is a little touchy about talking to this thing.

All at once, dozens upon dozens of yellow eyes appear from the darkness and start to blink back at Vicky and her friends. They all shift in different directions and scan the room outside the rift. Vicky drops the book of dark arts in surprise and the thud as it hits the ground draws all the eyes' attention to her. Vicky steps back instinctively and looks over to her friends for help. Polly seems to be frozen in place and Scott's hackles are raised. To her absolute dread, she doesn't spot the Interdimensional Prince. In a panic, Vicky scans the room for the last occupant. She finally spots him when she turns to the right and he's sitting right next to her outside of the pentagram.

To Vicky's dismay, the Interdimensional Prince looks unphased and almost… excited by the presence of Z'Gord. The Prince stands up and makes his way towards the rift with a sly smile. Oh god no, oh god no, oh god please no.

"Hello Miss Z'Gord! Allow me to introduce myself, I am the Interdimensional Prince," The Prince bows low to the floor before continuing, "If I have the right to say it, I think you look beautiful my sweet nightmare. Your eyes are yellow like the bright sun. Truly captivating."

Half of the eyes the Prince just mentioned are glued to him while the others are on Vicky. Scott and Polly regain some of their senses and start to rapidly gesture for the Prince to stop what he's doing.

"I see that my charm has caught your attention," The Prince smiles, "I'm so thankful someone as wonderful as you would offer me the time of day. Now, I would like to ask for that time the rest of our probably immortal lives."

The Prince gets even closer to the rift in time and space and Vicky starts whisper yelling frantically, "Stop it! Don't you dare propose to that thing! You're going to get us killed!"

Polly and Scott nod along frantically, but the Prince only shrugs, "Such a wonderful monster would never kill me. I am to be they're future betrothed."

"That's not how-"

The Prince gets down on one knee and offers the rose in his mouth up to the shadowy eyes in the void. He's only a foot away and at this point, Vicky slowly starts to back towards the exit just in case. Polly and Scott smartly follow Vicky's lead.

"Would you, great and powerful Z'Gord..." The Prince starts, "...marry me in holy matrimony so we can stay together till the end of time?"

Vicky and friends watch in tense silence as purple tentacles start to emerge from the edges of the rift before making their way to the ground and pulling the giant octopus-like swarth of slimy limbs into the open. The beast makes a horrifying squelching noise and Vicky's legs turn to jello. One tiny purple tentacle slowly reaches towards the rose in the Prince's hand. It takes the flower gently as it fully emerges from the hole in space and time. The rip closes itself the moment the eldritch being is all the way out.

"It took the flower?!" Scott whispers wondrously.

"Does that mean the Interdimensional Prince's idea worked?!" Polly asks another question, "Are they married now?"

"Shh!" Vicky frowns, she had a bad feeling about this.

The Prince stands up with a smile, "Yes! What a wonderful confession! Don't you worry dear, I'll get us both the paperwork so we can be official. Truly, our marriage will-"

" **_SCREEEEEEEEEEE_ ** ," Z'Gords tentacles all converge on the Prince's form. When they finally recede, the only thing left of him is the single rose that the monster dropped.

"Oh shit! It ate him!?" Polly yelps. Z'Gord's eyes all snap in their direction.

"RUN!" Vicky grabs Scott's hand and tugs him out the door and into the hallway with Polly following close behind.

Before the three even get a chance to start running, tentacles bust through the wall and block their way down the hallway. Without a second glance, Vicky turns around and drags Scott down the hallway in the other direction as Z'Gord drags itself through the hole it just made in the wall.

"What are we gonna do?!" Polly shouts, "That things gunning for us!"

"We run until it catches us or we get the hell out of here!" Vicky speeds up and let's go of Scott's hand as they run. A terrifying wail is let loose from the monster behind them and Vicky adds, "And let's scream while doing that too."

At this point, alarms are going off and everyone in the school is relatively alarmed. Of course, no one's panicking. Alarms go off in Spooky High everyday because of the popular kids, so what if it's extra early today? Nobody thinks much of it. That is, until they see Polly, Scott, and Vicky booking it past Chem class screaming bloody murder while the ground shakes. Yeah, most monsters started taking things serious at that point and went into hysteria. 

In a matter of minutes, everyone that was getting ready for the first period was following the three popular monsters' examples and running for the exits while the walls started to tremble and pieces of drywall fell from the ceiling. Another unholy screech rang throughout the halls of spooky high as Z'Gord did whatever an entity of chaos does when released. 

Vera and Amira, who were also making haste to get out of the school most likely to collapse soon, spot Vicky and promptly join in their little threesome of running away.

"What did you three do?!" Vera hisses as a tentacle drops from above them behind her.

"We may have accidentally released an entity older than time that's destined to destroy our world," Vicky says between labored breaths.

"HOW DID YOU DO THAT ON ACCIDENT?!" Amira screams over the loud sounds of students' frightening wails.

"How were we supposed to know they were immediately gonna try and destroy the universe?!" Polly retorts while floating away as fast as she could.

"How did you summon it?!"

"A book about-" Scott gets cut off by Amira.

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE READ THE FUCKING BOOK!" Amira shouts as they run past the gymnasium.

"I did!" Vicky defends her honor, "It didn't say anything about a murderous rage!"

"It shouldn't have to tell you that a monster 'destined to destroy the universe' will be violent Vicky! Read between the lines!" Amira jumps over a fallen locker.

"Can we all stop being super judgemental right now and just run for our lives/afterlives!" Polly interrupts the back and forth, "This isn't the time to question whether or not our idea was stupid!"

"I think it's the perfect time to-" A girlish shriek cuts Vera off, "Wait! Was that?!"

"MIRANDA!" Everyone replies in sync.

All the monsters stop sprinting and turn in the direction of the scream. They share a look of horror before making a quick detour towards the noise. Sure enough, in the remains of a destroyed classroom, Miranda is surrounded by her serfs, who are fighting off Z'Gord's tentacles with all their might. Miranda sits on top of her desk in all the chaos doing nothing to help them.

"Oh, woe is me!" Miranda cries, "If only a brave and charming prince would come to save me in my hour of need! Oh! If only!"

Vera literally facepalms at the sight before her while everyone else inwardly sighs. Of course Miranda would be trying to get a prince while her serfs are dying. What else did they expect from the fairytale obsessed ditz. 

"Miranda, stop trying to get someone to save you and get the hell over here right now!" Vera shouts at the fish princess from the destroyed classroom door.

Miranda's head swivels in the group's direction and she sends them a sugar sweet smile as she stands up from her desk, "Oh! Greetings friends! I didn't see you there!"

"Yeah, obviously," Amira scoffs before getting louder, "We're literally running from the apocalypse. You wanna join us?"

Miranda sets a finger on her chin thoughtfully as one of her serfs heads rolls on the floor in front of her, "Well, I was waiting for a prince to come rescue me, but I am getting bored watching all these wretched serfs die in less than satisfactory ways. Hmm, I guess I'll come with you."

Everyone watches Miranda stand up from her desk and walks past all her dying serfs without a single glance at their mangled bodies and screams for mercy. One of Z'Gord's tentacles gore a humanoid fish and the blood dots Miranda's cheek without her noticing. She steps up to the group with another tiny smile.

"Now, please tell me how this, running from the apocalypse thing works," Miranda politely orders.

"No time," Vicky watches as the tentacles dispatch the last of Miranda's serfs before pointing in the other monsters' direction, "Just run!"

Just like that, the group's short reprieve is over and they're back to escaping the tentacles frantically trying to catch them. The group turns another corner and the exit's in sight.

However, just when they're about to rush forward, Vera puts her hand out to stop them, "Wait! Look up."

The group looks up at the ceiling of the hallway just in time to see the cascade of cracks before the entire hall collapses. The fallen debris completely blocks their path to escape.

"Dammit!" Amira curses, "We have to go around the other way now!"

Another unholy screech shakes the building. Tentacles surge from the debris and slowly crawl towards the escaping group's feet. 

"I don't mean to alarm anybody, but I do believe we need to get going," Miranda says regally despite the circumstances.

"Yep! Let's get back to running for our lives!" Vicky books it down the opposite hallway. Vera, Polly, Scott, Amira, and Miranda follow closely behind.

In her haste to get away, Vicky doesn't watch where she's going and runs head first into someone. She starts to fall backwards when familiar hands grab her. Vicky looks up to see a familiar zombie caught her.

"Brian!" Vicky exclaims.

"Watch where you're going Vick," Brian says while helping her stand back up, "This isn't the best time to be falling."

"Oh thank god you two aren't dead already," Amira says from behind the Frankenstein's monster.

"Two?" Vicky peers past Brian to see Liam doubles over panting.

"I- *huff* never want to run- *huff* this much again," Liam barely manages to get out between labored breaths.

"Wow, it's super convenient we all ran into each other!" Scott says happily, "Now we can all run together! It's like a race!"

"Yes Scott," Vera sighs, "Compare running for our lives to a friendly kids race. Go ahead and just downplay this entire situation."

"Okay Vera!" Scott smiles again.

"I was being-" A tentacle bursting through the wall behind the group cuts Vera off.

"Shut up and run!" Polly shoves Vera and Scott into it and they start running again.

"I- *huff* think I'd rather just die," Liam slowly stands back up and starts jogging after the group.

"Too slow," Without any other warning. Brian slings Liam over his shoulder and starts after the others further down the hall.

"W-What are you doing?!" Liam's glasses are crooked and he's blushing so much it hurts, "I can run by myself!"

"It's either I carry you like this or you get strangled by tentacles," Brian says monotone, "Which do you prefer?"

Liam grumbles something incomprensible, but stops struggling. Brian nods to himself in satisfaction and catches up with the group. Despite the dangerous circumstances, Amira sends Brian a knowing glance and Vicky winks. However, they both do have the decency to save their teasing until after they escape.

In a scene very similar to the one earlier, the group finds themselves in the last stretch to the exit as the giant purple limbs behind them start to get more aggressive. 

"The ceiling's about to crumble here too!" Vicky shouts with a glance upwards.

"We have to make a run for it!" Amira shouts, "There's no way we can make it to another exit with all these slimy jerks grabbing at us!"

"We'll never make it," Vera frowns.

"We don't have any other options," With those last parting words, Vicky books it down the unstable hallway in a blur of blue.

With little to no hesitation, Scott follows moments after, "I'm coming Vicky!"

Brian sighs and rushes after the both of them while Liam tries to think of what he wants his last words to be.

"Wait up you guys!" Amira joins the probably suicidal teens as Polly follows her lead.

"God dammit," All of Vera's snakes start to hiss in annoyance as she reluctantly dashes after them. Miranda shrugs and joins in on her friends in the sprint of death.

Just like a scene from an action movie, halfway to the door, the hall starts to collapse behind them. All eight monsters speed up as fast as they possibly can. Vicky makes it to the exit first and charges through the doors and into the empty school yard. Thank god for push doors. Vera, Polly, and Amira rush into the courtyard next with Liam and Briam close behind. The only person left to get out is Miranda.

"You got this!" Scott cheers the fish princess, "Just keep running! Just keep running! Just keep, running, running, running!"

"Don't look behind you!" Amira shouts.

"Come on! You've gotta go faster Mira!" Even Vera cheers her friend on.

Just before the building falls on top of her, Miranda makes it out into the open and her friends tug her away from the building as it collapses. To the horror and surprise of everyone present, the hall isn't the only place to collapse as the entirety of the school falls in on itself moments. Dust plumes around the group as the sound of destruction reigns over all other noise. 

" **_SCREEEEEEEEEEEE!_ ** " Another loud howl pierces the air and sparks fear in all living and dead things present.

The sky turns a dark crimson and clouds of death circle at unnatural speeds. The grass turns black and starts to crumble away. The entire school is shrouded in a blanket of dust from the recently destroyed school, so the only clues the monsters standing away from the disaster get about what's inside are the sounds… and the smell. Unnatural scream, chirps, and cries resound from the darkness at different volumes and distances while the putrid smell of death surrounds the students in a choke hold.

"Oh god," Amira plugs her nose to try and keep from throwing up.

Most of the other monsters follow her lead. Scott looks miserable with his extra sensitive nose. Just before anybody can figure out what to do next, the dust and smoke clear and what's inside leaves then petrified.

While Z'Gord might have been about the size of a car when they first entered reality through the rift in space, they definitely weren't anymore. The eldritch abomination of tentacles, eyes, and mouths now towers over the entire school. Her millions of yellow eyes gaze around the landscape almost lazily and her mouths chitter and move along her body in a grotesquely morbid way. Just looking at the creature causes the edges of Vicky's vision to tint brown and hallucinations to spring from the deepest part of her mind. Everything turns pitch black.

They are screwed.

\-------Literally Fifteen Minutes Earlier--------

"Damien, you have to agree with me," Oz begs, "You have to tell her that she can't try and take the form of a cat girl!"

" _ I don't see why you're so against this Oz!"  _ Zoe whines, " _ Valerie's a cat girl isn't she! Why can't I be one too!" _

"There's a difference between being a humanoid cat that is a girl and being a normal girl with ears and a tail," Oz sighs, "Damien just agrees with me!"

" _ This is an unfair argument!"  _ Zoe protests, " _ He can't hear all the excellent points I'm making." _

"Listing all the characters you like that are cat girls are not 'good points,' Zoe!" Oz tries to dissuade the girl trapped in a totem, "You don't even know if you can take a normal form! You said not five minutes ago that the best you could probably get was a bunch of tentacles in the shape of a person!"

" _ Stop talking and just let that demon of yours answer the question and settle this once and for all!"  _ Zoe damands.

"Fine! Damien, tell us whether Zoe should take the form of a cat girl," Oz turns to Damien with a serious expression.

Damien just smirks, "Are you kidding me? I'm having to fun watching you argue with a fucking totem. You literally look like an insane person right now."

"Damien…" Oz whines.

" _ Don't worry Oz. I've seen a lot of insane people and you definitely don't fall into the same group as them,"  _ Zoe giggles.

When Damien went on a murderous rage yesterday, the only way Oz could get him to calm down was to coerce him with spicy baked goods and a movie night. Of course Zoe was also included in the movie watching fun. (much to a certain demon's displeasure)

The three monsters spent the whole night together on the couch until Damien fell asleep and practically pulled Oz into his lap. To spare them both embarrassment when he woke up, Oz snuck away and chatted with Zoe in the kitchen. 

At some point, the form she wanted to take when she was out of the totem came up, and they've been discussing it ever since. The next morning, Damien came into the kitchen to find Oz literally yelling at a totem about what is and isn't appropriate for real life highschool and has been watching in amusement ever since.

"Are you seriously just going to ignore the fact that you're friend's getting bullied?!" Oz asks in exasperation.

"As long as it stays entertaining," Damien shrugs.

"Come on, can't you just answer the question," Oz practically begs, "Do you seriously want to see a cat girl made of tentacles everyday at school?"

" _ That's rude! I would totally rock that look!" _ Zoe interrupts.

"I already have fifth period with a ecentric skeleton, the headless horseman, and a fucking centaur," Damien deadpans, "What's one more freak added to the bunch?"

" _ HA! I told you he'd side with me!"  _ Zoe cries out smugly, " _ How does it feel to be wrong Oz!? How does it feel?!" _

"Damien, take it back. You're making her insufferable!" Oz begs, "Everytime you tell her she's right the less she listens to me! At this point, she'll think harassing people to get them together is a good thing!"

"What's wrong with that?" Damien asks with fake innocence.

" _ Yeah! What is wrong with that! I only do it with good intentions! So what if I have to put them in highly uncomfortable situations to make love blossom!? All pleasure is derived from pain! I just happen to be the one inflicting it!" _

Oz stares at Zoe for a moment before glaring at Damien, "This is your fault."

"What did she say?" Damien asks curiously.

"I'm not gonna  _ tell _ you! You'll just find some way to agree with her and make things worse!" Oz crosses his arms before addressing Zoe, "When we get you a normal form please don't 'help' anybody with their love life."

" _ But once I can interact with people I can make my real life ships sail Oz!"  _ Zoe whines, " _ Why must you stand in the way of true love!?" _

"Zoe not all highschool crushes can be long lasting-"

" _ Oh! I get it now!"  _ Zoe interrupts, " _ Don't worry! If you really need help with getting Damien to love you then I'd be happy to offer my expertise!" _

Oz blushes. Zoe doesn't know about the talk he had with Amira so she doesn't know Oz takes her teasing at face value now. It's a terrible situation at times like these.

"ZOE!" Oz hisses, "D-Don't say that! Y-You…! You don't even have any expertise! All you've done is watch anime on  _ my _ TV!"

" _ ~Ohhhh! What a reaction! Don't be so shy! I've already got fifteen scenarios created in my head where you and Damien get together by the end of the day! Let me just tell you what you need to do!" _

"SHUT UP!" Oz looks away from Zoe and covers his face.

"Woah. What the hell is she saying?" Damien seems alarmed by Oz's outburst.

"Ah, uh, nothing! Don't worry about it!" Oz takes his hands off his face, but refuses to look at Damien.

" _ Okay, here's the step by step plan. Just do what I say and I promise you'll be making out in like... two minutes tops, _ " Zoe's voice gets higher pitched as if she's moments away from squealing, " _ First things first, you need to look him directly in the eyes before slowly getting closer-" _

"Zoe…" Oz's hands are back on his face in record time.

" _ He's already leaning against the counter so you'd just need to use your arms to cage him in place. Oh, and thank god he's taller than you because that means you can look right up at him while you do this,"  _ Zoe's voice goes deep and she stops giving Oz instructions in favor of daydreaming about what would happen next, " _ Then he'll look down at you, all flushed and embarrassed despite how confident you seemed moments ago, and he'll smirk at you before wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling against his chest." _

"Ohmygod, stop it right now Zoe.I'm literally begging you," Oz wishes he could disappear or die. There's no preference between the options.

" _ He'll lean down right next to your ear and whisper that he feels the same way before softy kissing your neck,"  _ Zoe's enjoying this way to much, " _ At this point you would be able to feel-" _

"IF I AGREE THAT YOU CAN BE A CAT GIRL WILL YOU STOP TALKING?!" Oz finally snaps.

" _ Oh yeah! That's what we were talking about a few minutes ago right?"  _ Zoe says thoughtfully, " _ Sure. I'll stop embarrassing you since you said I was right. Which you need to learn I always am by the way!" _

"Thank god," Oz sighs in relief as he slowly removes his hands from his face for what must be the thousandth time.

"I have no idea what the fuck just happened and that bothers me more than it should," Damien suddenly pipes up with an expression crossed between confusion and annoyance, "What the hell was she saying to you Ozzie?"

In a lapse of judgement, Oz meets Damien's gaze head on. It goes about as well as you'd think it would. Oz turns a shade of red incompresible to the normal eye and internally screams.

" _ Hey Oz, I know I'm not the expert in social cues, with being trapped in a totem for millenia and all, but this is the part where you're supposed to answer his question." _

The gay panic going on in Oz's head momentarily desists for him to speak, and using every braincell he could came up with a lie, "Zoe was talking about what sex positions Liam and the Covem would have if they all got together."

Damien stares at Oz. Oz stares at Damien. They both stare at each other. 

Zoe interrupts, " _ I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE OZ!" _

"I- uh… shit, holy shit. Why would she even- I'll never be able to get that image out of my head. Why the fuck would anybody want to know that? Why would anybody want to talk about that? God, that's-" Damien stumbles through his words with open disgust.

"Not the worst thing she's talked about randomly," Oz finishes the sentence and hopes his lie stays strong.

"Not the worst?! What other times has she talked about people at the school fucking?!" Damien looks disgusted and scandalized, "Were all those other times you've just randomly freaked out over nothing when she did this?!"

No, those were also times Zoe decided to tease Oz about Damien, but he doesn't need to know that, "Yes. That's definitely what Zoe was talking about all those times. Absolutely."

" _ Now you're just patronizing me,"  _ Zoe whines, " _ Shipping is not all about sex! Sometimes it's about slowly watching you're characters develop until they get a good grasp on there-" _

"That's just- GAH! Let's stop talking about this and pretend I never asked!" Damien covers his mouth as if he's about to gag.

"Sounds good to me," Oz says in relief.

" _ Of course it sounds good to you! Your reputation isn't the one that just got ruined!"  _ Zoe shouts.

Oz ignores his impromptu roommate in favor of changing the subject completely, "Well, forgetting the last five minutes. First period starts in like ten minutes. Do you want me to drop you off at home before school starts so you can change into new clothes?"

"Fuck first period. I'll just skip it and burn the pretentious nerds in the student council," Damien growls.

"Dames… that doesn't actually answer my question."

Damien shrugs, "I'll just portal home and change when there's like two minutes before class."

"I really don't mind dropping you off," Oz insists, "That way you won't have to type the school's address into the portal app and your parents won't get onto your portal limit for the month."

Damien responds a bit too quickly, "Nope. I got it. No need for any shadow hopping crap or anything else. I can get to my house and then to school by myself."

"Okay. Now I'm suspicious," Oz raises an eyebrow, "Why don't you want me to drop you off in Hell?"

"I don't know what you're talking about! I definitely want you to drop me off at my house! Why wouldn't I?! What even gave you the idea-" Damien takes one look at Oz's unimpressed look and knows his excuse has fallen through. He crosses his arms and looks away in a similar gesture to pouting, "Screw you!"

"You don't have to tell me," Oz sighs, "It's not technically any of my business anyways."

"Fine! I'll fucking tell you!" Damien throws his arms in the air.

"I just said you didn't have-"

"My parents really want to meet you in person for some stupid reason and I refuse to let them because I know they'll be super lame," Damien scowls, "They found out I brought you over a couple days ago and they've been badgering me about not introducing you ever since."

" _ He doesn't want you to meet his parents? Aww! I bet it's because he's afraid you won't like them!"  _ Zoe coos.

"So… you don't want me to even drop you off at your house because you're afraid I'll meet your parents?" Oz asks incredulously while ignoring Zoe, "You do know they text me all the time already right? They're asking where you are and what we're doing all the time."

Damien looks a little flustered, "Yeah! I know how overprotective they are and stuff, but texting them and meeting them are two completely different things. I just know they're going to do some goofy parent crap and try to give you a tour of Hell or something."

"Damien, I've been to Hell before. There's nothing there that'll scar or mentally cripple me," Oz chuckles, "Plus, I don't think you're parents could embarrass you more than you've embarrassed yourself. I've seen how you act drunk and watched you trip while running from cops. What are a couple baby pictures gonna do?"

"Those both only happened once!" Damien shouts in indignation.

" _ You never told me that you'd seen Damien drunk! That adds all kinds of possibilities to my fantasy timelines!" _

Oz ignores Zoe yet again, "I'm just saying, you're parents seem really sweet. I don't think they can do anything that would change my opinion of you."

Damien scowls while blushing, "How about we both stop talking about all this fucking mushy stuff and just focus on the fact I'm going home with my portal app and that's not up for discussion."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You 'hate all that sappy emotions shit that just gets in the fucking way,'" Oz impersonates Damien playfully.

Damien growls, "Don't ever… do that again."

"Fine, but that's what you sound like," Oz turns away from Damien to check the time on his phone while smiling, "Right Zoe?"

…

…

…

"Zoe?" Oz tries again.

"Uhh, Oz? Does the totem girl normally turn into dust?" Damien asks, a tiny bit concerned.

"What?!" Oz whips around to see that sure enough, Zoe's totem is slowly turning grey and falling into a little dust pile, "No. That is not normal!"

Damien' eyes widen and he looks a little bit more concerned now, "Okay then. What do you normally do when the totem pulls some kinda weird phoenix shit?!"

"I panic, because that hasn't happened before," Oz rushes towards the pile of dust on the counter.

Damien takes his place right beside Oz and starts poking the dust pile, "Hey, Totem girl! You there?"

"Don't poke it Damien! What if it had burnt your finger off!" Oz scolds.

"Well, I'm sorry! I'm not the most well known for thinking my actions in a pinch through properly," Damien sasses, "It's not like one of my main character traits is being reckless."

"Okay, sorry, you're right," Oz relents before trying to understand what's going on, "What do we do? Zoe, the absolute incarnation of insanity and destruction just turned to dust. How do we fix that?!"

"Don't ask me! I burn things to dust, I don't do things the other way around," Damien steps back to let Oz handle the situation.

"But why would she suddenly turn into-" Oz's eyes light up in realization before horror sets in, "Unless Zoe didn't turn to dust, but rather her totem did."

"What?! How the fuck does that make sense?!" Damien frowns.

"Damien! When did Vicky, Polly, and Scott say they were going to be pulling that big prank of theirs yesterday?!"

"They said-" Realization strikes, "...this morning."

"Oh no," Oz says monotone.

"THOSE FUCKING DIPSHITS SUMMONED A GODDAMN HARBRINGER OF DESTRUCTION AS A PRANK?! WHAT THE ABSOLUTE HELL?!" Damien seethes in rage and disbelief.

"Where would they summon her from?!" Oz asks urgently before face palming, "Who am I kidding. They must have done it at the school. Come on, let's go!"

Without as much as a second thought, Oz grabs Damien and shoves him into his own shadow before speeding after him. The both pop out of the void and back into the real world to see absolute destruction occurring before their eyes. Students are running and screaming as they flee the school grounds for some type of safety. 

**_"SCREEEEEEEEEEEE!"_ **

"Is that…?" Damien's jaw has dropped.

"That would be Zoe," Oz nods once.

Damien's mouth feels dry, "Why is she wrecking literal school she wants to enroll in?"

"Probably because she can't control herself," Oz frowns, "She went directly from chatting to us to suddenly being dragged with some type of cult ritual. I know I'd be confused."

"Well, how do we put her back in her fucking totem, prison, thing?!"

"We don't have a totem to lock her in anymore. It's just dust," Oz says surprisingly monotone, "Plus, we don't even know what Vicky, Polly, and Scott used to summon her. How would we put her back without knowing why she's out in the first place."

"So we can't put her back in a bottle or something," Damien growls, "Dammit, if I see those three before the world ends I swear I'm gonna throttle them. How do we stop Destructo-Mc-Gee now?!"

How do they stop Zoe indeed. Oz wracks his brain for all the information the eldritch being ever gave him about her true form. She said it's supposed to be made completely of slimy tentacles, have thousands of reptilian eyes, and be larger than Oz's house three times over, and Oz has a moderately large-sized house. 

However, that only describes Zoe's physical characteristics. She supposedly also has regeneration, the ability to instantaneously cause insanity in mortal minds, and the ability to alter reality just by being present. So in short, Zoe is completely evenly matched with Oz in power. Without any extra magic help, there is no way they can win a fight.

"Oz? You got any ideas over they're? Because for once I don't thing a fuck ton of fire and explosions is gonna work," Damien tries to sound calm and collected but even he's a bit unerved watching the school slowy start to fall.

"How do you feel about living in the void until all this blows over?"

"This seriously isn't the time to be joking," Damien growls only to find that Oz looked completely serious, "Can't we fight her with something?!"

"With what?! We haven't even seen her yet! How can we fight her?!"

"The school's literally about to get demolished! Once it's down I think we'll be able to distinguish the rubble between an eldritch nightmare on a rampage!"

Oz suddenly looks back at the school with dawning realization, "Wait. When all those kids were running away from the building, did you see any of our friends?"

Damien looks towards the building with the same concern as Oz, "Oh shit, they're still in there!? The whole place is barely standing!"

With one glance between them, both monsters book it towards the school their stupid friends are probably still trapped in. As they run, Oz's super hearing catches the sound of shouting over the other destructive chaos going on around the.

"Wait," Oz stops Damien before running towards the noise, "There's people this way. Knowing our friends' luck, they probably got out dead last."

Trusting Oz completely, Damien doesn't ask anymore questions and just follows him as he explains, and sure enough, he's correct. 

"Come on! You've gotta go faster Mira!" Oz and Damien get close enough to distinctly hear Vera's voice and soon enough they can see Miranda rush outside of the school just as the hallway behind her crumbles.

"Thank fuck," Damien sighs, "I thought those idiots were all gonna get buried alive."

Oz nods, "For once I'm very glad we all are used to these near death scenarios. I don't like to think of what would have happened otherwise."

Before Damien can comment, the rest of school goes down just like he said earlier. Dust from debris and rubble suddenly blankets the entire area. It conceals what remains of the school from everybody except the two ancient monsters older than time that are present. Oz stares up as Zoe's true form as it towers over them. 

Honestly, Oz was expecting a lot more. Now don't get him wrong, Zoe's intimidating and quite the impressive sight to behold, but Oz has personally seen the universe come into existence. With all the hype and titles, Oz just expected something… a lot worse from Zoe. He actually relaxes a little, this wouldn't be as hard to handle as he thought. 

" **_SCREEEEEEEEE!_ ** _ "  _ Zoe lets out a blood curdling shriek that makes everyone but Oz freeze.

The dust clears away as Zoe's presence is finally made known to everyone else. Damien takes a step back and Oz watches as the grass near his feet dies. What would be grotesque nonsensical sounds to a normal person's ears sound like ancient language to Oz. Well, not  _ ancient _ ancient language. It can't be older than two eons that's for sure.

How did Oz forget how young Zoe is compared to him? It was a laughable oversight on Oz's side. Sure, she's definitely better than that asshole upstart Godzilla Oz met a couple hundred years back, but she also wasn't an Azathoth the world consumer. This was gonna be much easier than expected.

Oz glances at Damien to see him staring at Zoe in something akin to horror and wonder. Another glance at the other's that just escaped the school sees the same reactions. This is when Oz remembers that, unlike him, all his friends haven't seen the chaos of the Dark Realm up close and personal. They're probably in some type of shock.

"Dames, don't look at her for too long or you might start seeing things," Oz lightly shakes the demon's arm and he snaps out of his trance.

"O-Ozzie, there's no way we can beat that," Damien says while showing a rare dose of vulnerability, "The world is actually going to end isn't it?!"

"Damien," Oz starts almost nonchalantly, "We're gonna be fine. I didn't think Zoe was going to be small."

"Look, if the world's gonna end there's something I want to-" Damien stops as Oz's words catch up to him, "Did you just say small?!"

Oz nods then rubs his neck as he explains how relieved he is, "Yeah, from what Zoe said. I was expecting a lot worse. She really exaggerated everything a bit. Turns out her definition godlike powerful and mine are on completely different scales. I feel kind of stupid for being so worried about letting her out now. I just need to fight her."

"Wha- You can't be serious!" Damien looks at Oz like he's crazy and gestures towards the monster towering over they're other friends, "We are seeing the same thing right?"

Oz tilts his head towards Damien, "Giant creature made of purple tentacles with tons of yellow eyes right?"

Damien's arms drop to his side and he nods despondently, "Yeah… that's… the one."

"Don't worry Dames I've got-" The pressure in the air shifts and Oz snaps his head towards the giant monster sitting in the remains of the school. 

The group that just escaped the school hasn't noticed Oz and Damien yet, but Zoe seems to have noticed them. All of her glowing eyes are glued to the group and Oz knows what's about to happen milliseconds before it does. Tentacles shoot forward at a speed most creatures could never see, even less than move. Sadly for the out of control creature, her attack doesn't go as planned. Being large has some advantages, but casting a humongous shadow isn't one of them. Oz uses the weakness to his advantage. All of Oz's friends fall into the Z'Gord's shadow and disappear from sight.

The tentacles that were trying to skewer, grab, or strangle the last group of monsters remaining around the school wrap around thin air. Zoe- no, this is Z'Gord Oz is facing right now, looks for her escaped prey frantically. Her eyes lock on to Damien and her fellow eldritch brethren just as Oz releases all the monsters in his void and brings them back to reality.

Z'Gord throws out another round of tentacles to attack, but Oz simply raises his hand and lets hundreds of his phobias swarm out full size to engage them. The once cute globs of inky blackness turn into ferocious beasts the size of elephants. Safe to say, none of the tentacles reach their mark and Z'Gord is properly distracted. Damien has to use every morsel of self control he has to not let his jaw drop. Oz turns his attention to his comrades on the ground.

"Are we dead?!" Scott is the first to speak. He looks down at the black grass and then up at the purple sky before panic soaks his features, "OH MY GOD WE'RE DEAD!"

Polly floats off the ground and rushes to the panicking werewolf, "Don't worry Scott! The afterlife isn't as bad as it seems! You get to float, fly, and possess stuff whenever you want! Plus, you don't have to worry about dying again!"

"We're not dead!" Liam calls out snarkily, "We're covered in dust, dirt, and about to be killed, but we're not dead yet. Stop convincing Scott he's a ghost Polly!"

"We're not dead?" Scott asks nervously.

"None of us are dead," Vicky pats Scott on the back from her place next to him on the ground.

"Oh. Thank goodness," Scott sighs.

"Of course we're not dead Scott," Miranda also tries to be comforting, "Nobody would dare kill me in fear of angering my father, and you're added to that by extension of being friends with me!"

"Miranda. I don't think that  _ thing _ cares about whether you're father's a king or not!" Vera hisses in annoyance, "We don't even know how we got saved from that thing the first time. Our best bet is to get the hell out of here as fast as possible and hope Vicky, Polly, and Scott didn't summon the apocalypse!"

"U-Uh, I would be the one who dragged you guys over here," Oz pipes up awkwardly.

Everyone snaps their attention to Oz and Damien, just realizing that there's two people standing up beside them listening to them argue. 

"Oz?" Vicky looks between the two. before jumping up and hugging Oz, "OZ! DAMIEN! YOU BOTH MADE IT OUT ALRIGHT!"

Everyone else decidedly just accepts the two monsters are here now and get off the ground while Vicky lets go of Oz to jump in place. 

"I mean, of course I knew you two were alright," Vicky smiles, "Oz can literally teleport at will and Damien has an ungodly amount of experience with falling buildings! It would have been crazy if you  _ didn't  _ make it out! Actually-"

Damien silences Vicky with a glare before he semds a similar look of anger towards Polly and Scott, "Did you, or did you not, summon a fucking creature older than who know what that destroyed the school, tried to kill you, and actually murdered who knows how many actual students?"

"They also ate the Interdimensional Prince guy," Scott adds unhelpfully.

"What?!?!" Oz and everyone else not present for the event gasps.

"Don't act so pissed!" Polly defends her actions, "That dude was like, super annoying!"

"Yeah, who decides to just try and marry a random deity of insanity that comes from a rift in time and space?!" Vicky exclaims, "Someone just asking to be eaten, that's who!"

"If it weren't for the fact we're all about to be destroyed by the tentacles from some horrible porno," Damien snarls, "I would kill each one of you myself."

"I second that," Vera nods in Damien's direction.

"Guys. How about we all figure out what to do before we all get eaten like the late prince," Brian, ever the voice of reason, jumps in, "Whatever those black monster things it's creating are, I don't want to have to deal with them."

Oz is about to awkwardly correct that those black monster things are his phobias and probably the only thing keeping them alive right now, when Amira interrupts.

"Right here's the ticket out of this mess!" Amira throws an arm over Oz and sends an urgent but confident smile his way, "Oz, buddy, can you bring us to the nearest government base so we can hide till this all blows over?"

"Uhhh-" 

"We can't just hide until this is all over. That thing might kill millions of my lackeys," Vera interjects, "I am not rebuilding my businesses all over again in a post-apocalyptic world! P-Plus, I don't even know where my sister is!"

"I agree with Vera," Miranda pipes up as Amira takes her arm off of Oz, "Not only will my kingdom need all it's rulers to counter such a strong force, but I am out of loyal serfs to do my bidding! Plus, I cannot live without sweet submissive subjects singing my praises!"

"Look, it doesn't matter what we do later," Liam cuts in, "All we need to care about is getting away so we don't die right now! All this arguing about other stuff can come later!"

"Agreed, we need to get out of here right now," Brian nods at Liam, "If it wasn't for Oz, thanks by the way, we already would be dead. We can't get away from another one of those attacks."

"Actually, I can-" Oz is cut off yet again, and Damien is so close to snapping at his friends his rage is almost palpable.

"That's definitely the best thing to do right now," Vicky also nods in agreement, "A tactical retreat so we can gather our thoughts."

"I agree with whatever Vicky said," Scott adds.

"I'll also agree with whatever you guys decide," Polly sounds very serious and sincere despite her normal behavior, "I've got all your backs on this."

Oz twiddles his thumbs and nervously as he tries to get a word in edgewise, "Guys, I can-"

"Fine, if all of you think this is our best bet I'll go along with it," Vera looks very pissed for someone agreeing to a plan, "But if one thing happens to my sister while I'm gone, I'll-"

"Okay, can all of you shut you're goddamn mouths and listen for a fucking minute," Damien finally cuts in for his nervous crush, "Me and Ozzie already had a plan before you hot shots showed up and started arguing."

Vera rolls her eyes, "You can't blow it up, light in on fire, or pummel it into submission Damien. Think past violence for once in your pathetic life."

Instead of getting angrier like everyone expected, Damien gets the smuggest look known to humanity, "I can't beat her up, but I know somebody who can. Take a long look because the person who's going to knock some sense into that over glorified piece of calamari is none other than Oz."

Complete silence. Everyone looks at Damien and then turns to Oz. Oz looks like he's stuck between hitting Damien and melting into the ground. Everyone except Brian promptly burst into laughter.

"Good one Damien!" Polly snorts, "We can always count on you for comedic relief in situations like these!"

"Yes! How amusing!" Miranda giggles adorably, "While Oz might possess many amazing characteristics, strength is not one of them."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Vera pretends to act unphased, but even she chuckles a little, "But for real, let's get going before we die."

Damien fumes in frustration, "Oz's little black fear things are literally taking that thing on single handedly as we speak. The only reason it hasn't attacked us again is because those things are subduing it."

Vicky raises an eyebrow at Damien, "Oz's phobias do not get that big or ferocious Damien. Z'Gord's probably creating them from the life force of the Earth or something to kill us. They are not Oz's phobias."

Damien grinds his teeth as he prepares a scalding retort, but Oz silences his by setting a nervous hand on his shoulder, "A-Actually, t-those a-are my p-phobias. I-I don't like m-making them big a-all the time because t-then they're intimidating."

As if to prove his point, one of said phobias gets struck by a stray tentacle and creates a crater in front of all the monsters. The creature has jagged black teeth and pure white eyes. It makes an evil hissing gurgling noise before spotting Oz and his friends. Almost instantaneously, the teeth disappear and it squeaks cutely before sending Oz a thumbs up. It then immediately flies back to the battle raging on.

Complete silence. Everyone watches as the phobia disappears back into the swarm of other black entities attacking relentlessly. They all turn back to Oz with different expressions, mostly of shock.

"Since when could they do that Oz?!" Vicky grabs Oz's shoulders.

"F-Forever," Oz stammers.

"Forever!" Amira shouts in disbelief, "You're phobias can turn into giant battle ready monstrosities at will and you just failed to mention that!"

Oz shrinks in on himself, "I d-don't need to make them big often, a-and most people r-really hate them."

Damien snarls, "Plus, he can tell whatever the hell he wants to whoever the hell he wants. Don't act entitled."

"Damien…" Oz sighs.

"What? It's true!" Despite his defensiveness, Damien does calm down.

"Okay, fine," Vera starts, "You phobias can hold that thing off or whatever, but that doesn't mean you're able to beat it."

"Yes, no offense to you," Liam continues, "But a mere shadow demon is very unlikely to-"

" **_SCREEEEEEEEEEEE!_ ** "

Finally getting tired of the games, or finally getting strong enough, Z'Gord shoves all the phobias away at once before pinning each individual one to the ground with a tentacle. Despite being pinned, each phobias continues to claw and tear at everything around them with vigor and slowly begin to free themselves. Z'Gord doesn't pay attention to her captives attempting to escape and makes another grab for the monsters standing by themselves. This entire exchange happens in a matter of two seconds and Oz is the only one able to even look up fast enough.

For some reason, the one closest to making contact with it's mark is the one trying to grab Damien. In the same amount of time it took Z'Gord to send out her tentacles, all the shadows around start to bubble and take physical form. The phobias trapped under tentacles all suddenly get a burst of strength and tear apart the appendages imprisoning them along with the ones reaching out.

All the dark surging matter from the shadows begin to converge together into an amalgamation of anger and fear around Oz as red tints his gaze. The sky turns pitch black and unknown screams and cries ring out from nowhere and everywhere. 

For a split second, every living organism with a brain freezes momentarily as something primal sparks inside them. The unyielding feeling that they needed to be afraid. Only for the moment to pass and for them to look around for the cause of such terror. Well, that moment passed for everyone except for the select few still present at the remains of Spooky High.

For the monsters on the ground, the transition from nervous boy Oz to a… whatever the hell this was in front of them was almost nonexistent. Even Brian was stuck staring with a scream barely contained in the back of his throat. Damien was the least affected only because he somewhat knew what to expect. Not to say he wasn't unnerved from the sight in front of him because holy hell was he, but unlike the others, Damien's still able to function

All of the dark shadow matter turned into a giant four-legged creature with no mouth and pitch black swirling skin. Even after the whole fiasco is over, nobody will be able to truly describe the monster in front of them.

"Damn," Damien runs a hand through his hair and steps back, "You weren't kidding when you said you were the incarnation of fear. That is terrifying."

If Oz heard what Damien said, then he gave no indication whatsoever. Z'Gord fends of the phobias tearing at her body and lets out another scream.

" **_SCREEEEEEEE!_ ** _ " _

Not to be outdone, the giant monster's face splits open with an awful crunching sound. He opens it's black maw to reveal millions upon millions of white needle-esk teeth. Instead of a throat, pure black stretches into the nothingness of the void. Even Z'Gord feels a bit intimidated by what she sees, but it's nothing compared to the chilling sound that came out next. It promised that all your nightmares would come true, that the monster in your closet was always real, that no matter who you were or how strong you are, you are the prey. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**_"RḨ̴̧̛̭͚͚̝̘͚̲̘͈̥͍̖̝̯̘̘̩̤̟̝̫͇̓͋̋̊̂̃̎͌̎̔͌͆͋̌͗̊̂̿̋̀͊̇̾̀̒̆̈́̅̾̔̓̌͆͒̄̈̎͂͑̃̽̄͑͐̊̾͘̚͘͘̚͜͝͠͝͝ḧ̴̢̢̢̧̧̡̧̺̞͚͕͈̰͍͎͎͔̻͎͔͍͍̫̫͇̻͈̜̻̳̤̪̠̪͙̝̖͕͍̜͚̮͎̠͖̣̟̯͓̲̣̙͕̼͓͔̬̝̩͍̹̰̰̲͉̬̮͕͌̾̈̏̎̂͆͋̐̿̈́̒́̒͑̽̎̀̅̂̾̀̿̈́̈́́̈̌̈́̉͒̀̕͘͘̕̕͘̚͘͜͜͝ḩ̶̨̡̨̢̩͉̩̦̜̰̭̘͉̺͕̟̭̣͓̣̻͇̘̠̠̱̺͉̒̋̌͛͌̿̄̏͆̉͘͜͝h̶̢̢̛̛̛̺̥̰̺͕̮̥̹̤͖̠̻̻̗̱̳͓̻̮͓̱̣͖͔͖̩̋͌̆͋̄̿̈́̍͌̍͋̂̈́̓͑͐̄̈́͒͛̆̎͋̊͌̑́̐̎͒͗̎̊̊̽͌̾̓̃̉̍̒̉̈̇̂͐̈́̏͒̕͜͠͝͝Hḩ̸̨̧̧̢̛̛̛̫͈̝̲̗͚͕̰̹̙̩̗̝̭̙͚͍͚̜̰̤̜̳̱̺̜̎̄̀̈́͆͆̃̈́͆̇̾̑̐̀͊̃̍̀́̎̽̇̔̓͒͐̈̓̈̋̃̄͋̎̿̊̊̀̌͆̈́̍̃̆͒̎͗̆͛̊̕͘̚̚̕̚̕͘̚͝͝͝͠͝͝H̸̡̢̛̹̫̗̲̣͚͉͈̻̭̮̩͚̠̞̙̠̱̦̹̳̐͊̓̈́̿͗͆̐̿̈́̉͒̃̑̋͋̈́̓͒́̓̽̓̑̀̾͋͆̂̆͗͑̂̏̓͊̏̈́̐̎̊͂͐̂̑̊̏̋̈͌͛͆̈́̚͘̕͜͜͜͝͠͠ͅͅhḨ̶̢̞̲̱̳̫͉̙͕̮̜̪̙͕̺̮̘̣̳͙̠̣̼͚̣͚̳̝̘̝̖͉̞̟͉̮̭̳͚̲̝̆̊̅̎̔̃͗̈̊͊͒͗̽͋͊̊͐̆̐̑̈͜͜͠͠ͅhḧ̷̢̢̡̛̛̛̜̹̱̹̮̦͈̬͎̭̺̼̼̗̫̮̮͍̦̭͈͖̯̥̤̤̝̫̯̹̠̤͉̫̣̩̰̺̖̫̫̜̣͍̜͖̙͈̮̗͕̞͚̫̭͉̻͈̲̳̦̖͍̻̞̱̼́́̐̈́̆͂̓̍͑̈̔͂̎̉̒̾̓̄͑̿̈́͊̌͑̆̆̂̄͊̓̆͆̀̏̌̅͌̽̓͛̾̅̄̓͛̚̚̚͘͝͠ͅh̸̢̨̢̨̨̡̛͕̩̥͓̰͇̱̱̗͕͎͓̲̩͚̬̼͎̼̪̤̳̞̠̣̞̱̝̩̫̤͓̬̫̺̫̬̱͊̈́͊̈̓̔͂̈́̃͂̾̇̌̈́̎̉͊̓̓̈́͛̉͌̌̋͗̏̓̋̋̒̒͆̉͊̒̓̌̌̋̓̾͂̿̓̈̆̐͘͘͘͜͜͜͜͝ͅḨ̶̡̡̨̭̼̭̠̗̭̘̺͔̖̯̺̲̠̩͇̗̣̺̱̟̞̠̫̜̠̏̈́̇̿̐̍̂̈́̀͆͗͂̚͘͝ͅH̸̢̛̛̛̝̗̻̳̮̭͙͙̼̳̭͙̱͇̪̥̖̠̜̱̱͈̰̞̤͖͇͆̍͌́̍̾̾͐̊͂͛́͊̉̉̂̄̈́̊̇͊̎̓́͛͑̏̈́̄͂̽̈́̂͒̈́͒̈́̔͒̅̂͊̑̑͛̈̅̍̂͘͘͘̚̕͜͝͠ͅH̷̨̡̡̨̛͖̪̖̟̥͔̪̰͈̱̠̬̩͎͉̞̱̙̣͓̞͍̥̼̫̝̠̒̅͒̊́̅̓̋̉̿̄̄̋́̂̔̈̅͆̎͑́̊̆̓͛͑́̂͒̽̐̂̾̿̓̿͒̃̏̚͠͝͝ͅĥ̵̨̤͍̬͍̭͈̲̜̠̦̝͖͉̫̳̏̔̑̔͑͌͂̃̇̾̏̏̌̈͗͗̽̾͋̂͑̐̔͗͋̊̄̆̐͗̓͒̊̔̊̏̽͑͋̌́̾̆̈́͊̔̀̍͆̋͛̕͝͝͠͝͠͠ͅͅh̴̨̡̧̨̩̲̮̮̪̞̮̝͓̮̺̥̝̥̗͖̣̱͎̣͙͇̪̠͎̼̘͙̲̪̞͇͈̹̰̣̜͕̖̪͔̲̩͙̫̞̫̺̩̖͎̮̜̗̞͍̄͂̽̇̿̄̎̑̃̔̐̾̈́́̎̓͗͗̈̌͐͐͌͗͗̏͊́̾̾̈́̑̈́̏͒̿̈̽͛̃̏͊́͑̋͛̑̽̔̈͑́̒̚̚͘̚͠͠͝͠͠Ḩ̷̡̨̡̗̪̻͉͔͙͔̮̮͕̳̜͔͕̯̱͖̼͕̞̆̑̋̐̋͂̐̓̈́̔͆̍͊̒̋͊͒͒̀̿̾͊̐͌̒̐̀͐̉̀̅̓̍̈͗͗̀̉̏̐̚̚͝͠͠h̴̡̨̛̤̥̲͓̯͇̩̪̟͇̫̬̪̥̗̘͙̙͔͔̪̬̣͍̫̺̥̤̜̿͌̍̿̎̓̒̌̃͛̉̑̔̇̌͗̽̾̓͆͊̑͌̐͐̈̿̓͐̿̅̊̌́̆͒̋̂̿͋̉͛͋̈́͘͘͘͜͝͠͠ͅAaaA!"_ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Z'Gord looked shaken and some of it's slimy appendages backed off as primal urges told it to run. However, it's pride is a strong thing that refuses to be broken. Z'Gord pushes through it's feelings and forces it's tentacles to attack. The deadly appendages pierce through the monster in front of it. The black monstrosity of fear stalls for a moment before the tentacles poking out from inside it away from Z'Gord get dismembered. A scream of pain rips from Z'Gord's many mouths, but the inky beast once known as Oz doesn't show any mercy as he uses the rest of the decapitated tentacles in his black matter mass to pull Z'Gord.

Damien watches with bated breath and wide eyes as Z'Gord gets dragged forward. It's better than what all the others are doing. Vicky falls backwards, Amira finally lets go of her lunch, Miranda hides her face in Polly's shoulder while the ghost girl covers her eyes, and Scott seems to have peed himself. The only ones other than Damien that are keeping at least some shred of composure are Brian, Liam, and Vera. All of which chose to just look away from the horrific fight going on. This was probably the smarter option for their sanity. 

The closer Oz pulls Z'Gord to his writhing mass of shadows and darkness the shriller her shrieks and chitters get. With a bit of thrill, Oz realizes it's because she's getting scared. As not to lose himself in the adrenaline, Oz forces himself to ignore looking into Z'Gord's being and feasting upon that terror. Once the monsters are yards apart, lines of black inky goo shootout and trap the tentacles Z'Gord's trying to move with down to the ground.

The phobias continue to tear at every limb and eye still exposed. While all the damage they do is quickly undone by regeneration it still has to hurt, or at the very least be distracting. Either way, the dark creature of fear grows in size until it's the one towering over Z'Gord. Again, it's maw opens and this time, it would easily be able to swallow the entirety of Z'Gord whole if it wanted to. It was a warning that whatever was said next should not be ignored or disobeyed.

  
  


" **_Z̵̛̜̝͊͛̿̽́͊̄̾̃͘͝͠͝o̸̖̝̜̓̑̑͗̈́̿̽͝͝ë̶̡̹̬̖̝̣͍̾́̃̄̀͊̏͗̚.̶̛̳̝̪̪͇͉̥͙̜̲̺̞̝̹̗̓́̃̂̎́̑̔͂̉͗̌͘̚͜ ̴̨̙̜̦̱̼̳̇͂͜͜Ỵ̶̍͗̎͆͌ọ̶͎͖͕̩͇̲̯̫͖̙̗͓̗͖̯̑́̓̄̔̉̓̌͘̚͝û̷̼̯̘͈̥̫̬̬̿͋̍̇̉̅̈́͂͂̕͠ͅ ̸̡̘̺͖̬̜̬͇̗̥̬͝ç̵̩̖̖̗͕͎̉͋͂͗͊a̷͆͑̆n̴̲̪͆͋̾́̑̓̕͜'̴̛̰͍͉̲̣͍̭̠̯̋̂̄̑͊̄͊t̶̮̹̻͙̄̔͛͋̎̿̓ ̴̡̧̩̩̣͙̺͍͈̦̫̳͗̈́͐̏̈̾̇̄̂̎ȩ̶̙̜̱͙̳͕͉̙̻̯͂̔̿̿̏̇̒͒͋̇͋̽̊̆̚ͅn̵̨̢͓͖̦̱̙͌́̔̄͊͗̎͋̐̈́r̴̛͍̩̜̳̞̳̭͉̲̻̟͛͛̈́̓̓̾́̍̓̃͋̈́̈̚ǫ̸̪͔̲̲̹̭̹̳̩̪̹̦͈͉̃̇̇̃̾̓ļ̶̧̛͎̠̥̰̹̘̪͉̙̥̝̩̠̖̎̈̊̅̍̽͌̄͒́͘͠l̶̨̛̬̘̮͎̟̘̬̫̲͂̇͐͋̕ ̶̨̧̡̢͈̺̝͎͎̝͙̞̟̭̮͎̒̄i̶͓̣̪̤̗͔̻̅̀ṅ̵̗̬̳̟̘̪͉͂̒̍̑͆͝ ̵̢̜̟̖̲̬̮͊̈́͋͐͝à̶̦͕͕̠̳̱̳̗̩̰̀̈͊̎̀͗͜͝ ̵̡̡̨̢̰͉̯̜̮̲͇̳̗̜̤̠̉̿̽͂͌̿͊_ **

**_h̵̨̭̖͕̯̬͈̥̹͈̆͝ͅī̵̙̤̿̌̋̈́͛̏̊͐̈́̈́̄ġ̵͉͇͈̻̹̺̥̮̪̄͆̊̑͒͐̏̌͐͂̾͒̃̐h̷̬͎̯̱̜͐̈́͌̿͠͝s̷̨̛̻̮̙͚̳̟̱̗̬̺̅̽̄͛̇̐̒̋͐̾̐̚ç̵̨̯̥͙̣͍̣̼̭̣̟̲͎̭̱͊̕ḣ̵̝̉͋́̈͐̾o̸̖͚̺͇͚̗̦̅͑͋͝o̶͚̤͎̳͒͗͛͋̅̔͊̆̆̄̐̕͠͠l̶̈́̌. ̶̧̢̻̫̣̳͔̟̭͚̜͕̜̯̀̒̈́͆̉̋̉͊̔͌͘̚̚i̶f̷̃̈_ **

**_̶̛͙̰̆͆̈́͆̾̊̃̓̄͘̕̚th̵̏e̸̘͌̃̌͠ uṅ̵̬̟̽̿̊ͅi̸̒̊v̵̾͐͊͐͝e̸̞̖͈̒̃̅͗r̷̍̈́s̷̄̆̂̌̔͘͝͝e̵͂͑̉̎͌͠ ̸̛͙̰̳̹̠̺̖̹͊̈́̂͗̈́͊̉̀͑͠͝i̶͆s̴͇̙͋̏̿̄̂̉̈́̀̕̚͠ ̶͌̌͂͠d̷̐̀͘ë̸̤̱̻̝̼̩̜̰̖͚̬͍́̌̍̇̈́͛̑̈̈́͝s̸̜̫͈̭̙̫͂͐̓̏̓̔̋̾̚̕̕͘͝ţ̸̬̥̫̜̩͓͂̓̾̈́̋̾̔̉͝͠r̶̡̧̧̲͔̤͈̝͉̪̱̯̖̂̀̈́̾̂̐̈̇̈́̚ǫ̵̧̨̹̣̱̯̹̲͔̪̀͂̆͛̾y̸̛̼͖͉̠̍͒͂͌͌̋̚͘͝͝ę̸͍̤̥̣͚̰̃̒d̷͑̔̓̅,̶̨̡̩̘̳̝̳̞̪̃͆̕͘͜ ̷̡̧̩̠̋̆s̷̛͉̥̳̼͚̄̀̆̒̌͘ͅǭ̵͍͔̐̄̄̓̄̏͆͜͝ͅ_ **

**_̶̲̺̰̻͍̪̬̜̬̼̳̼̽̅̒͝͠Ķ̷͙̳̲̜͇̦̼̑̐̆́̈͑̑͑́̉͠N̶̿͂Ö̷̗̳͑̋͊̋̈́͒̏́̿̌̕͜͠C̸̢͑́̈̅̃̎͐̀̔̚͠͝K̸̡̦̰̜̣̱͚͈̱̗̠͖̿̿̓͆͋̇ ̸̦͔̣͉̗̩̘̞̞̌̔̓̐̚I̴̧̪̩̭̼̜̠͒̅̈́̐̓̒͘̕͘T̷̜͍̤̉̉͛̎͌̽̉ ̷̡̝̻͚͉̖̬̥͙̱̖̩̟̭̞͚̀̋̓̐͐̋̐͂̕͠͝ O̷̎́̒̚F̶̢͓̞͔̭̱̙̤̈́̎̿̾ͅF̵̧̘͓͈̲̙́̽̊̏̅͘͠!_ ** ̴̇͑̇

  
  
  


Who knew that such simple words could inspire such intense emotions? While the words are far from scary or threatening, the jerking recoil from Z'Gord is enough to know at least something got through to the tentacle monster. Slowly, the being starts to shrink and it's tentacles start to fold into themselves in a way that would leave any scientist befuddled.

Once Oz is sure that Zoe's in the right state of mind again, he calls off his phobias. In the time it takes to blink, the sky returns to its original shade of baby blue, the grass turns back to a natural color, and the air is fresh with the smell of fall. The only signs of the monster that fought Z'Gord the tiny human sized bundle of tentacles making its way closer and the gory maw still on the face of the boy in front of Damien.

Oz scrutinizes the demon with clear concern while frowning. Once he's sure the demon is alright physically he forgets about his mouth and asks a silly question.

" **a** R **e** **y** _O_ u **al** R ** _iG_** ht?"

Oz covers his very real, very cavernous mouth with his hands and his eyes blow wide.

"Sorry about that," Oz keeps his mouth covered and telepathically starts apologizing with his head lowered in shame, "I shouldn't have done that with you all here to look. This should have just been between me and Zoe."

"Ozzie…" Damien sighs before reaching forward and tugging his friend into a backbreaking hug, "That was the radest, metalest, most hardcore thing I have ever seen in my fucking life. Don't go clamming up on me now you dumbass. You've gotta explain why you haven't shown me that before."

Oz startles at the sudden contact before laughing through his hands, "Of course that would be the first thing you'd ask for."

" _ Damien! Oz!"  _ Oz and the demon still holding him look up to see a person-sized mound of slimy tendrils making its way over, "O _ H M _ Y G _ O _ D! L _ OO _ K AT  _ Y _ OU T _ WO _ ! IT' _ S T _ O _ T _ AL _ L _ Y THE  _ EM _ BR _ A _ CE OF L _ OV _ ER _ S!" _

Damien and Oz look up at each other for a split second before breaking apart quickly, both while blushing. If it was any other occasion, Vicky and Amira would already be teasing Oz to death about that comment. However, as it is, the other monsters are too busy recovering from whatever they just watched.

Zoe lurches forward in her less than human-like form, her purple appendages leave a trail of slime, "Oz! Look at me! I'm out of that stupid totem and I have a form! Isn't this great!"

Honestly, Oz is surprised by how average Zoe sounds. If it weren't for the fact Oz wasn't sure which mouth the words were coming from he'd actually say it was normal. Whatever normal is nowadays.

"Wow, you sound-," Damien waves his hand as if trying to think of the right words, "...a lot  _ different _ than what I expected. A lot less, destroyer of the universe and a lot more pissy school girl with a crush."

Somehow, the mass of tentacles pouts, "That's mean! I'd prefer something more like… anime girl supreme or super cutie!"

"No offense," Damien says fully prepared to be offensive, "But while a mass of tentacles with feelings might be some weird pervert's dream, I don't think anyone would file that under cute."

For a single moment, Oz feels an overwhelming amount of affection for Damien. Only he would insult the person that almost destroyed the world with no hesitation whatsoever.

Zoe lets out an offended gasp, "This obviously isn't gonna be my permanent form! Do you think it took Oz over there a day to copy your tail and horns?!"

"Fucking hell no-"

"EXACTLY! Give me some time before!" Zoe glares at Damien for a moment before her gaze shifts over to the others present, "Oz! I think we broke them!"

All the monsters stare at Zoe despondent as their brains try to catch up with what they're seeing. Are they dreaming? Did they actually die and just don't know it? This is a whole new level of crazy.

"Do you think we drove them insane?" Oz asks in concern before slowly getting closer. It wouldn't be the first time that's happened, but Oz was very careful about toning things down. Hell, he didn't even use his true form. 

"No. If they were insane I would sense it. That's kinda my thing," Zoe's blob-like form wriggles.

"Hey dumbasses," Damien shouts, "Are you just gonna stare like dweebs or wake up and act like actual people."

This seems to snap everyone out of whatever funk they're in as Vicky stands up from her spot on the ground and-

"Are you gonna try killing us again?" She asks the amorphous shape of Zoe.

"Huh?" Zoe has the gall to look confused at the question, "No way! I didn't even mean to do all this! It's just kinda disconcerting when you go from being in a totem to getting dragged into the plane of reality through time and space. I got over that world destroying thing weeks ago."

"Weeks?!" Liam croaks.

"Oh, and sorry about the school and stuff. I didn't mean to destroy it," All of Zoe's eyes look to the ground in shame. Only for a moment though, because she perks up momentarily after, "But! Oz did say that everybody hated attending classes anyways so maybe I did you a favor!"

"You know Oz?!" Vicky asks wondrously, "Wait. Oz knows Z'Gord?!"

Zoe's mood dampens at the mention of her old name before brightening up again as she cuts in, "Actually, I go by Zoe now! Z'Gord is such a lame name and I hate everything about it. Who cares if I was the former ruler of the dark realm right?"

Everyone present decides it's in their best interests to agree with Zoe. 

"I believe it's time for proper introduction," Miranda says politely, already over the fact that she's talking to the person who destroyed the school and tried to kill them, "My name is Miranda Vanderbilt and I am one first heir to the Merkingdom."

"First heir? I thought you were like the third?" Zoe tilts her head to the side.

Miranda seems taken back, "W-Well yes. I was the third heir before the first and second disappeared, but how did you know that."

"Well, you and Polly talked about it when we were hanging around the school a couple weeks ago," Zoe's entire form vibrates with excitement, "Also, just want to thank you both for that awesome girl's day! I loved hearing you gossip about everyone's crushes!"

"What?!" Miranda seems completely flabbergasted, "Excuse my rudeness, but have we met before?"

"MIRRRANNNDA! That's little buddy!" Polly floats forward, "Y'know, the totem we hung out with a declared out BFF?! That was totally Z'Gor- I mean ZOE!"

Miranda looks thoughtful for a moment, "I believe I remember that."

"Of course you do! We got to see the coven get air bombed by a bunch of bees!" Polly shouts, "That was literally one of the best moments in my afterlife!"

"So you already know all of us?" Brian asks diplomatically.

"Of course! I can't fit you all into good ships without at least knowing the basics of your personalities," Just to prove her statement, Zoe points to a certain gorgan, "Vera Oberlin, the mean, self-made, gorgan with a merciless sense of business and class."

The girl in question doesn't react, "That sounds correct."

"Amira Rashid, the fiery djinn that makes reckless decisions, but has charm to spare."

"Guilty as charged," Amira sounds too pleased with Zoe's description.

"Oh! Do me! Do me!" Scott bounces in place.

Zoe giggles, which is actually very wholesome despite her horrific tentacles smooshing together and wriggling, "Scott Howl, the werewolf athlete who compensates for his lack of booksmarts with a stupidly large heart."

"Wow! That's super nice!" Scott takes the whole statement as a compliment.

"She practically called you dumb," Liam frowns.

"Then there's Liam de Lioncourt, the hipster vampire who's stand-offish demeanor hides that he's honestly just a lovable dork," Zoe watches with satisfaction as Liam turns from shocked to flustered.

"I am not a 'lovable dork!' I am a connoisseur of art and literature! Don't-" Liam gets cut off by Brian.

"Don't worry Liam. We all know how you really are," It sounds genuine, but from Brian it seems teasing.

"Brain Yu," Zoe continues with her little labeling thing, "The ever stoic and laid back zombie who's probably the most responsible monster at Spooky High."

Brian just raises an eyebrow as one of Zoe's tendrils point towards Vicky.

"Vicky Schmidt's the passionate one in the group. From crafting to studying, she's got it all in spades."

"Hell yeah I do!" Vicky bounces in place.

Miranda pretends to stay completely indifferent but even she seems excited for what the bringer of chaos has to say about her.

"Miranda Vanderbilt is the sweet mermaid princess who's just as sweet and cute as she is genocidal." 

"You think I'm cute? Well, I've heard it before, but thank you nonetheless," Miranda doesn't even take the genocidal bit as an insult as she smiles.

Polly floats in place impatiently as she's waiting to be addressed, "Come on, what am I?!"

"Polly Geist, the party girl with an insatiable hunger for all things fun," Zoe finishes her observation as Polly gives whoop.

"You bet I am bitch! I'm the fucking party queeeeeeeeen!" Polly shouts.

" Finally, last but not least, is Damien LeVay, the fearless demon with a taste for destruction and a love for fire and fighting," Zoe's voice takes a mischievous edge as some of her eyes glance at Oz, "Among a few other things."

"Okay, I really like her," Vicky bursts into an ear to ear grin.

"Yeah, flattery really works a charm doesn't it," Damien scowls angrily at all his easily placated friends.

"You skipped Oz!" Scott pipes up, "You didn't give him a title."

Zoe's body does something similar to shrugging, "He was the one who told me most of those things. All I know is that he gets super flustered if I bring up-"

" **Z** o _ E _ !" Oz forgets yet again that his mouth is still present under his hands. His eyes widen before he quickly sews it away.

Everyone stares at Oz for a moment and soaks in the fact that he totally just talked out loud for the first time ever. Oh, that and the fact that it sounded like radio static and nightmare whispers had a baby.

"Yeah, on that note," Vera decides to jump in, "I'd definitely like the whole giant monster of the apocalypse fight between a deity and demon explanation now."

Oz panics as he finally takes his hands off his mouth only for his hands find their way into nervous positioning, "U-Uh, w-well, y-you s-see, I m-may not a-actually be a s-shadow demon."

"Excuse me, but what does that mean?" Amira looks very confused and just a little concerned.

"I-I don't really-"

"He's the physical manifestation of fear itself and is as older than me and every living thing in this universe," Zoe blurts.

Damien sends the eldritch being a glare before throwing his arm over Oz's shoulders, "Yeah, Oz was pretty much born with time itself and is older and more powerful than almost everyone. Even miss insanity over there if you couldn't tell with that fight we just witnessed."

"D-Damien… Zoe…" Oz whines in embarrassment.

"Sorry Oz," Zoe sends Oz an apologetic glance, "You would have never gotten through the explanation."

"Wait. You're both being 100% serious?" Amira asks suddenly.

Oz builds up enough courage to nod once then waits for the backlash. Would his friends feel betrayed about him lying, or would they be angry he's made then go through all this? Would they want nothing to do with him anymore or would they pretend to care because they're afraid of him? Oz fears the latter the most. 

However, the arm around Oz's neck grounds him and he calms down. If worse comes to worse, Damien already knows who Oz is and hasn't left or anything. Oh, and Zoe too.

"I'm going home," With a very 'done' look, Amira starts walking away as suens sound from the distance, "This has been too much craziness for one day and I wanna take a nap. Maybe tomorrow we can go get somewhere to discuss this, but right now. I'm going home and watching bullshit on TV until my brain's numb."

"Wait! That's a perfect idea Amira!" Polly shouts into the air. Amira doesn't actually hear Polly, as she's already long gone, but that doesn't keep the ghost from voicing her idea, "I'm gonna throw a celebration party for the school getting destroyed!"

"How does that solve anything?" Liam humors Polly in exasperation.

"We throw the party," Polly starts, "Everyone meets Zoe, and Oz can probably explain what just happened when everyone comes to help set it up."

"So you're bribing is to help you set up a party with knowledge," Vera now shares a look of 'done' very similar to Amira's, "I'm going home to make sure my sister's fine. Text me if you actually do that party thing."

Everyone watches Vera leave as the sirens in the distance start to get closer. Liam looks ready to leave too, but Vicky and Scott are bouncing up and down side by side.

"You're older than time right?"

"Did you get to see when the first hotdog was created?"

"Did you get to fight in any wars?"

"Have you been everywhere there is to be?"

"Have you been to Paris?"

"What about Hungry?!"

"Pakistan?!"

"Alaska?!"

"Hawaii?!"

As sets of police cars and firetrucks pull up next to campus, Oz stares at his friends who are bouncing questions off him at breakneck speeds. He can already tell the rest of today is going to be difficult, but the thought that not one of his friends reacted the way he expected warms his chest in a way he didn't know was possible.

"Hey Oz, do you think they have our faces in the police registry?" Damien asks nonchalantly.

"They probably have my description," Oz frowns as the officers get closer. 

"What are the chances we have to break out of jail tonight?"

"Higher than I would like."

\------------------------Extra--------------------------

Oz and Damien didn't get arrested. Apparently, when the government blamed Damien's rampages on an entire terrorist group to avoid mass hysteria, they inadvertently made his record clean. Oz on the other hand, has only been seen by a handful of officers who all thought they just couldn't see him because of the dark, and without any hard evidence or confession, Oz couldn't be pinned to any crimes he may or may not have committed. 

The real kicker was Zoe. You can't really handcuff or imprison a blob of tentacles. You would think the police would figure something out, but apparently they get just as tired with bullshit as normal people. One of the interns left with the job of keeping Zoe in the station decided she was more trouble than it was worth and pretty much let her free to go.

Of course, not all problems can be solved as easily as getting out of a police station. One of such problems is considering how to save the person Zoe consumed. 

"-so my stomach is void just like yours Oz. That means I didn't really eat him as much as I just popped him into a floating abyss," Zoe finishes her explanation on why the Interdimensional Prince is not dead after she ate him.

"How do we get him out though?" Oz asks from his kitchen. Oh yeah, Zoe's now Oz's official roommate since she doesn't have a place to stay.

"Well, I can't really get him out myself because my gag reflexes will just cut him or my tentacles in half by accident, so I thought you could help."

"So you want Oz to just grab the prince from the back of your throat and yank him out?" Oh yeah, Damien's also here, "Why do we even have to do this.The guy was douche."

"We can't just leave him there Dames," Oz sighs as he walks up to Zoe hestantly, "So do you just open your mouth or…?"

"I figured you could just pull him out with one of your phobias," Zoe shrugs as all the tiny mouths all over her body converge into one giant one, "Aah!"

With a bit of hesitance, Oz sends Hemophobia into Zoe's maw. In less than ten seconds, the black wormlike creature comes flying back out with a familiar blue and pink figure. With a crash, the Interdimensional Prince slams into the ground and Hemophobia dissipates back into Oz.

"Woah are you okay?" Oz leans down next to the prince with concern before turning back to Zoe, "Zoe, you didn't tell me it would shoot them both back out like catapult!"

"Would you believe me if I said I didn't know it would happen?"

"No," Oz levels a glare at Zoe.

"Then what about if I said it was because he tried to marry each of the members in my favourite ship's?"

"Now that, I would believe," A groan from the prince on the ground catches Oz's attention, "Are you okay?"

The Interdimensional Prince's eyes lock onto Oz's before going wide. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn't seen anything other than pure darkness for the last seven hours, but the prince is left staring at Oz as his outline is bathed in bright florescent light.

"Did you hear me? Are you alright?" Oz asks again when he doesn't receive an answer, "Did you bang your head on the counter top when Hemophobia pulled you out? Please tell me you don't have a concussion."

"I- uhh-" For once in his life, the Interdimensional prince finds himself speechless. Well, until the filter between his brain and mouth finally gives away, "You're pretty."

Damien, who wasn't paying much attention up to this point glares at the prince with absolute contempt. Zoe looks a little angry herself too.

"So that's definitely a concussion then," Oz grabs the Interdimensional Prince's arm and carefully tugs him to his feet while keeping him balanced, "Do you have anybody I can drop you off with to take care of you, or do you need to open a portal to another dimension? I don't really know your whole schtick other than when it comes to the whole marrying people thing.

The Prince's brain finally gets over the face of his savior and processes what Oz said, "I-I can just open up a portal back to my kingdom."

"Great. I don't really know how that works so I'll just-" Oz stops holding the Prince up once he makes sure he can stand by himself, "So, do you just open it up and leave or do I need to do something."

The Interdimensional Prince is too frazzled about this whole event that he doesn't even remember to act extravagant like always, "I- uh, yeah I'll just be going."

Sure enough, on the drop of a dime, the Interdimensional Prince opens a portal and takes his leave, but not without looking back at his savior. With the little bit of lucidity he has after that traumatizing situation. He winks back at Oz through the portal before it closes. Damien almost breaks the countertop when he sees and Zoe actually succeeds in doing it.

"Zoe! The countertop!" Oz cries in dismay as he sees the cracking marble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally figured out how to do the corrupted text thing!!!! Yeaaaaaah! Also, this chapter's quite the doozy isn't it.


	36. Fro-Yo Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some friends go get yogurt and Zoe has fun.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻** : Yo babes! I totally got the perfect place for the prty! 

**Medusa:** You were serious about that.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** I'm always serious!!! When it comes to parties anyways. Back to what I was saying! Nobody asked about what place I found.

**🦇BatBoy🦇:** Fine, I'll bite. Where's this 'perfect' place you found for the party none of us agreed on having.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** So there's this really awesome warehouse at the end of town with a bunch of druggies in it! I'm totally friends with them so I asked if I could use the place for my party and they were all like 'Yes Polly! We're super into fun and drugs! We'd love for you to use you're party prowess to make us feel whole again!'

**BlazinHot:** at least twenty percent of what you just said has to be bullshit

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Rude! They totally said I could use the place for a party! None of that is lying!

**HerMajesty:** I agree with Amira. That does not sound completely true.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Okay fine! i may or may not have let most of them overdose so i could throw a party when they were ded

**UndeadRiot:** I equally did and did not expect that answer.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** that's just how i roll

**☆Vicky☆:** when's the party though?!

"OZ! I'm ready!" Zoe calls out from inside the bathroom down the hall.

Oz looks up from his phone just in time to see the door slam closed and hear the pitter patter of actual footsteps making their way towards him. Zoe's been in the bathroom for the last six hours and Oz was honestly starting to think she died or something.

"Okay! So, it's not perfect, but I think it's really me," Zoe starts before taking the last step into the open for Oz to see her, "I also decided to go the not a cat girl route, not because you told me not to, but because I actually couldn't make a tail and ears. Which is totally unfair when you can just add whatever features you want onto your form, but I guess-"

"Zoe, stop rambling so I can see you," Oz says impatiently. He's excited to see what his fellow eldritch nightmare chose to look like, sue him.

"Nani?! But I was trying to build dramatics!" Zoe whines, "I spent all day working on it! Let me have my moment!"

"Exactly, you dragged me to the nearest shopping center to buy you all the novelty T-shirts and hoodies you could carry, made me buy a whole new wardrobe for myself, spent all of yesterday on my phone looking for inspiration, and then you locked yourself in the bathroom all day! I want to see what you came up with!" Oz doesn't keep the excitement out of his tone.

"Fine! I'm coming out," A tentacle limb curls around the edge of the corner before Zoe's newly formed face pops out, followed by the rest of her, "Bum ba da bum! Zoe 2.0 is finally finished and ready to enroll in highschool!"

Oz looks on in awe. Zoe wasn't kidding when she said the form was very _her_ earlier. It was like Zoe was always meant to look this way. It fit her personality and voice perfectly.

Unlike the swath of tentacles that Zoe was only a day ago, she's now mostly humanoid. Most of her tentacles are side swept like hair on the top of her head. Surprisingly, instead of having her signature green eyes, Zoe chose to replace her peepers with sunken purple dots. She was even able to give herself a normal mouth unlike Oz, although she is lacking in the nose department.

"Woah, Zoe. You look awesome," Oz stands up from the couch and walks over to get a closer look, "Do the clothes fit alright?"

"Yeah! I had to put some holes in the leggings though, I couldn't get rid of some of my extra eyes and mouths and it felt weird to cover them up," Zoe explains.

At this, Oz does notice some of the imperfections with Zoe's look. While the eye and mouth in each of her legs was the most obvious, it was also pretty clear that Zoe's left arm was just a tentacle. 

"I think the imperfections just add personality," Oz looks up into Zoe's face and notices that there's a large green eye nestled in her tentacle hair, "Uhh, do I look at the eyes on your face or on your head when I'm talking to you?"

"What do you normally look at when you talk to other people?" Zoe asks sincerely.

"The eyes on the face."

"Then look at my face eyes," Zoe smiles, "~Oh! I'm so excited! Now that I have a form I can do so many things! I can draw my favourite characters making out! I can write fanfictions all day! Holy cheese and crackers, I can go to cons and COSPLAY NOW!"

"W-Where did you learn about all that from?" Oz purposefully avoided telling Zoe about cons and cosplays just to save himself from the hell she would unleash once the knowledge was her's.

Zoe looks a little embarrassed as she shuffles nervously, "Well, remember yesterday when you let me use your phone? I figured out how I wanted to look after like thirty minutes. The other twenty-three hours were spent… researching."

Oz silently prays for the people at the convention centers, but hope also sparks in his chest, "Does that mean-"

"I know what you're about to ask," Zoe interrupts, "And no, this does not mean I'm over getting all the Spooky High bachelors and bachelorettes together."

Oz's shoulders droop in disappointment. Of course, it would've been too easy for the universe to give Oz a freeby. 

"Actually, speaking of yet to be couples…" Zoe smiles a devious smile, "Now that I can actually talk to Damien, I plan on fixing some things between you two."

"Zoe, please, no," Oz starts begging, "I'll literally do anything you want."

Zoe's eyes sparkle for a moment before her gaze hardens, "No! I will not be swayed from my purpose by bribery! How dare you-"

"A smart phone," Oz interrupts and Zoe's eyes light up again, but just as earlier, her gaze hardens quickly afterwards.

"I might be able to write on the go and play video games, but that isn't enough-"

"All the stationary and drawing utensils you need to make comics and art," Oz interrupts again with a pleading tone.

"All the stuff I need?! I could get colored pencils, canvases, journals, paintbrushes, and," Zoe snacks out of her dreamy state and levels Oz with a glare, "NO! I refuse to give in to-"

"I will get you a V.I.P pass to MonsterCon and bring you to Japan if you never say anything to mess up my relationship with Damien," Zoe looks internally conflicted, so Oz adds the cherry on top of the sundae, "I will also let you dress me up in anything you want when the time comes."

Zoe goes from conflicted to shaking with excitement, "ANYTHING?!"

Oz swallows down his pride and every sense of self preservation he has left. With a very disappointed in himself type of sigh, Oz nods, "Yep. Anything."

Zoe's tentacle hand whips out and grabs Oz's and immediately starts shaking it up and down as Zoe squeals, "It's a deal! You get me my phone and then I'll text you all the supplies I need for my _projects_."

Oz retracts his hand from Zoe's tentacle hand and a shiver goes up his spine at the word 'project.' He doesn't even want to know about that. Was stopping Zoe's intervention even worth all this? Thinking back to all the things she's told Oz about him and Damien, Oz thinks so. 

A horrible thought pops up in Oz's mind as he turns to Zoe, "You aren't going to draw comics and write about us are you?"

Without responding, Zoe retreats to her room with an evil cackle, "~I want my new phone by tonight, so I can get to work in the morning Oz!"

Oz stares after the girl, "Is my life just a game to you?"

A tiny phobia appears on Oz's shoulder and pats him on the back to reassure him. It does no such thing. Hoping for some type of distraction, takes out his phone to catch up on the text messages on his phone. He scrolls through them faster and faster as he goes.

Great, now he owes Zoe a phone, school's cancelled, he still has to explain what he is, and now he also has to help set up a party. Only more confirmation on Oz's statement moments ago. Lady luck and Mister Life really must have something against Oz.

Zoe peaks out of her new room and looks at Oz's depressed state with a sigh, "Are you going to stand there all day? If you think shopping for a phone is going to be that boring, why don't just invite Damien to go with you? Maybe he'll finally make a move on you and your oblivious butt will take a hint."

"Zoe!" Oz blushes.

"Hmph, we made a deal saying I couldn't mess with you when Damien's around," Zoe smirks, "So you better be prepared for a lot of teasing when he's not."

Oz mourns the loss of whatever semblance of calm he had in his home before today. In a matter of seconds, Oz goes through the different stages of grief before just accepting his fate.

"...I'm leaving," Oz turns away from his roommate, correction freeloading friend, and heads towards the door.

"Are you not inviting Damien?" Zoe asks, surprised.

"I don't need to. With the school getting rebuilt, Damien's probably been taking his destructive tendencies to the public again," Oz opens his door, "I'll just head to whatever's on fire in the city and ask if he wants to come with me."

"I swear. You two know each other so well I'd think you're married," Zoe says jokingly, "Actually… are you and Damien secretly married? I heard Miranda call you his betrothed once when I was in the walls."

Oz covers his blush with a slammed door, "I'm leaving!"

Hysterical giggling is heard on the other side of the door. Zoe really is too pleased with herself after teasing Oz. 

Oz grumbles his frustrations and embarrassment away as he walks into the nearest shadow. Inside the void, Oz instinctually relaxes before slowly shifts around the plane of reality looking for the trouble that means Damien is near. He hums a little as he searches. 

Car accident, nope. Petty theft, nada. Bank robbery, Damien promised no heists without having Oz around to bail him out. Assault, not him. Library burning to ashes and cinder…

Yep, there he is. Oz steps out of the shadows like some type of super spy and strolls past the police barricade set up to keep civilians back, still humming. 

"HEY! THAT PLACE HAS A DANGEROUS CRIMINAL IN IT! YOU NEED TO COME BACK HERE!" Some of the officers call out to Oz, who just waves them off with a shrug.

Bits of half-burned books float through the air like falling leaves and gray blocks out the sun. The air is thick with the smell of smoke and the library is in shambles as the flame consumes it. The intense heat radiating from the fiery building would make any normal person's eyes water, but Oz is anything but normal as he continues to get closer.

"Damien!" Oz shouts telepathically, hopefully getting the demon inside the burning building's attention.

A familiar form leans out the door to the building and scans the police barricade. Damien's eyes lock onto Oz and a smile lights up his features.

"Yo, Ozzie!" Damien flicks a piece of paper off his shoulder as he steps out of the flames engulfing the fire like the demon of hell he is, "What are you doing here?"

Shouts come from the police on the other side of the barricade. They're probably shouting for Damien to come with them peacefully and all that other stupid stuff police have to do before they actually open fire.

"I sorta told Zoe I was gonna buy her a new phone," Oz skips the details of why, "-and I knew you'd probably be in town burning something, so I thought I'd invite you to come with me."

"Isn't she already freeloading off you," Damine raises an eyebrow, "Why the fuck would you promise her a phone?"

Wow, Damien found a way to ask the one question Oz didn't want to answer. Instead of coming up with something on the spot, something Oz is terrible at anyways, he just excludes most of the details.

"Zoe wants to go to highschool, make friends, and all that stuff, but she can't very well do that without a phone," Oz explains, "Most relationships are built on electronics nowadays anyways."

Damien seems to take Oz's words at face value, "Sure, I'm in. Can't promise I won't burn some stuff and start a fight though."

"Dames, I would never invite you somewhere and not consider that a possible outcome," Oz chuckles, "How about we get going?"

The police behind the barrier continue shouting even louder. They're probably getting to the point of actually shooting, so Oz resolves to get going. He grabs Damien's forearm and the demon falls back into the shadow of the nearby building with one smug salute towards the police barricade. Oz sighs and shakes his head fondly at the gesture as he slowly disappears into the same shadow. Some of the policemen jump the barricade and start rushing towards Oz

Just as quickly as they were in the void, they were suddenly outside of a tech store. A tech store with a very familiar computer looking very unfamiliar outside.

"Holy shit… is that?" Damien looks just as confused as Oz feels.

"Calculester?" Oz calls out as if he would to a stranger.

"VOICE RECOGNIZED: Oz," The computer in question turns around with a digital smile, "Hello friend Oz! Oh, and friend Damien! It is quite the coincidence we would meet."

"Uhh… yeah, yeah, nice to see you or whatever," Damien follows his terrible attempt at small talk with a question, "When did you start looking like that?"

Oz wants to scold Damien for asking so rudely, but stays quiet. What can Oz say, he's curious too! It's not everyday your computer friend gets rid of his rolling chair body to become completely bipedal and robotic.

The only thing that hasn't changed about the sentient AI is the monitor he has for a head. Calculester was much less of a computer now and much more a full robot or animatronic. With four new opposable chrome limbs and a midsection full of wires and circuits, Calculester definitely looked more mobile.

"Hmm? Ah, yes. Forgive me for not explaining my new look to you in the first place," Calculester responds, "After Friend Scott's cousins, the wolfpack, attempted to attack me, I realized that my previous body was… inefficient to deal with its surroundings."

"You got attacked by the wolfpack?" 

"You only realized then?" 

Both Damien and Oz ask their questions at the same time. 

Calculester's AI must be getting better because he doesn't need to seperate the voices manually to understand what was asked, "Yes, friend Oz. The wolfpack blamed me for 'brainwashing' Scott and Vicky before attempting to violently dismantle me. Luckily, Vicky was there to mediate or I would be unable to function. And yes to your question as well friend Damien, that was the moment in time I realized my body would be unsuitable for highschool activities."

"You were literally a conputer in a fucking chair!" Damien exclaims, "Even I could tell you weren't very sturdy!"

"Damien!" Oz elbows the demon in the ribs with a warning glare. 

"It's alright friend Oz. He is correct. My system overlooked the dangers of being a computer with no protection in favor of experiencing school life," Calculester nods at Damien politely, 

Damien sends Oz a smug smirk at Oz, who rolls his eyes and grumbles.

"I already created a self-preservation program to fix that oversight and used all my other resources to properly design and construct a body for me from spare parts from this electronic store," Calculester continues without being prompted.

"You made yourself a body with just the spare parts from a bunch of phones," Oz says in awe, "That's impressive!"

Calculester virtually blushes, "Thank you friend Oz. This was a difficult task. It took me an entire school week to create."

"Wait, does that mean you ditched school?" Damien grins, "I knew you'd come around event-"

"ERROR! I did not ditch school friend Damien," Calculester says quickly, "I took the days off under a medical emergency. Considering I was conducting the mechanical version of a surgery, the excuse was apt."

"Wait, aren't you still hiding that you're a robot from everyone?" Oz asks, "Doesn't this new body give you away?"

"There is actually no need for me to hide my robotic body anymore," Calculester smiles before continuing, "After the school got destroyed days ago when I was away, Principal Spider finally decided to retire from the education business. Without his prejudices, I am free to be my robotic self in front of everyone."

"Principal Spider retired?!" Damien says shocked, "But that old geezer's been in charge of the school since… like forever!"

"He's handing his position down to his nephew, Mister Spider," Calculester continues, "Although, now that he's in the position of power, he would be Principal Spider."

Oz looks confused, "So nothing actually changed?"

"No, I am now able to present as a robot," Calculester says, "That is different from before."

"I mean other than that," Oz tilts his head.

Calculester stays quiet for a moment before responding, "...no. Nothing has changed other than that."

Oz shakes his head a litte. Sounds like the author's filling a plot hole in the game that never got answered while refusing to create a new background character. How unoriginal.

"Well, whatever," Damien shrugs, "As long as the new guy in charge doesn't mess with me, I don't give a flying fuck who he is."

Oz shakes his his at Damien fondly with a bit of a blush. Hopefully the new principal doesn't actually get in Damien's way because if he does then they might need another new principal. 

"I do not agree with that sentiment so my social interaction knowledge is telling me to change the topic to avoid conflict," Calculester turns from Damien to Oz, "Less violent friend Oz, why is it you are coming to this store at this time?"

"Oh, I came here to buy Zoe a phone," Oz suddenly realizes Calculester doesn't know who Zoe is yet, "Zoe's a friend of mine that's about to enroll in Spooky High. When it gets rebuilt."

"A new student?" Calculester asks questioningly.

"Yeah. That's the real reason why Polly's throwing a party this week."

"Wait, what party?" Damien asks suddenly and turns to Oz.

"The one Polly talked about in the group chat before spamming invites to everyone at school," Oz tilts his head at Damien's ashamed expression before- "You muted the group chat didn't you?"

"Maybe," Damien huffs while looking away from Oz, "I just don't like those lame ass fuckers spamming my phone all the time!"

Before Oz can scold Damien on the importance of checking _all_ his texts, Calculester saves him, "You said that this Zoe person needed a new phone, correct?"

Oz turns to Calculester and nods, "Yeah."

"Friend Vera told me recently that anything you want in life comes with favors and deals," Calculester starts off, "I would like to use this concept to get want."

Oz notes to stop letting Calculester and Vera hang out together in the future. Vera's cynical view of life probably isn't helping the computer become more human. Plus, if anyone at Spooky High could convince an AI to destroy the economy, it would be that gorgan. 

Despite all this, Oz asks Culester to elaborate, "What do you want?"

"I would like to be added to this 'group chat' you are talking about in exchange for giving you a phone for this Zoe person," Calculester replies happily.

"You want to give us a free phone that you have for some reason so you can get added to our group chat?" Damien asks disbelievingly with an eyebrow in the air, "You've got to be fucking kidding me. Why do you even have a random phone to give away?"

"I was using it to properly copy friend Liam on his phone, but with my brain hooked up to the internet already, it's useless to me," Calculester responds.

"You got a phone to copy Liam? Why would anybody want to do that?" Damien inquires.

"Because many other students also used smart phones and my job is to simulate human life," Calculester replies mechanically.

Understanding the computer/robot's need to fit in better than Damien, Oz takes Calculester's answer at face value instead of questioning things, "Sure, I'll take your deal. Free phone for being added to the chat. I'd be stupid not to agree."

Calculester pulls a brand new phone out of nowhere and hands it Oz happily, "Thank you friend Oz! This deal thing that Vera suggested is very useful."

"Wait, you're seriously going to give Oz a phone so you can get spammed by annoying messages all day?!" Damien looks between the two.

"Yes."

Damien shut up as Oz exchanges numbers with Calculester before stealing Damien's phone from him while he's processing the fact his friend's getting a free phone for literally no reason. Oz types a few buttons and… done!

"You should be in the chat now," Oz nods at Calculester before Damien snatches his phone back from Oz.

With perfect timing, Oz's phone dings from somebody, probably Polly, sending something to him through the chat. 

Moments later, Calculester tilts his head to the side, "Message received from Friend Polly, 'guys! did u see who damien just added to the chat?!'"

"Wait, is your phone in your head?!" Damien practically shouts, "That's so fucking cool! Where can I get that done to me?"

"Damien, you throw your phone around because it annoys you on a regular basis," Oz shakes his head, "I'd give it a day before you hit your head against the wall just to spite whatever annoyed you on your phone."

"I would not do that," Damien growls.

Oz raises an eyebrow, "Really?"

"I would not-"

To prevent Damien from actually putting a phone in his head to prove himself, Oz changes the subject and turns to Calculester, "Word of advice. After you send your first text you'll need to pick a nickname or everyone will pester you about it. Although you'll have to get Damien to change it for you since he's the chat admin. And before you ask, we didn't choose him, he got the rank because he created the chatroom."

"Another alias?" Calculester thinks out loud, "I guess I can come up with one of those. I just need to compile a list of words and phrases that relate to my biology and then add a randomizer to properly-"

Calculester drones on and Damien shares a glance with Oz. This would probably go on for a while.

"Well, uh, thanks for the phone Cal, but Damien and I are gonna head out now," Oz steps away from brainstorming robot.

Calulester doesn't even look in Oz's direction as he rambles on about how to pick the best chat name. Lots of stuff about algorithms and percentage of names that are robot friendly along with a lot of other stuff that Oz chooses not to understand. Damien and Oz share a look before slowly walking away from the babbling robot. Once they get a bit away, conversation starts back up.

Oz turns to Damien a little guiltily, "Maybe I shouldn't have suggested that. He'll be there all day trying to 'logically' figure out a name."

"He'll be fine," Damien scoffs, "Nobody's gonna mess with him. I mean, he's literally a giant robot with metal fists. Whoever tries to mug him would be an idiot."

"If someone tried to mug Cal he would just be very confused and try to start up small talk," Oz nods.

Damien starts laughing, "Oh my god! I can just fucking imagine it. This guy comes up and tells Cal to hand over everything he's got and Cal just starts talking about the weather or something."

Oz ends up snorting a little, "If they have a weapon Cal would just start reading a list of safety precautions for it."

Both of them end up laughing far too much for such a less than amazing joke. It was that kind of thing where you would finally calm down and then look at your friend only to burst into laughter again. It was perfect for both monsters. Having the other close and hearing them laugh. The day was still young too.

After a couple hours of helping Damien get some stress out by burning a forest, they got frozen yogurt. They promptly got kicked out of the frozen yogurt place when Damien set the smoke detectors off when he attempted to charr his frozen treat. Oz tried to stop him, emphasis on tried, but apparently Damien took Oz's warning as a challenge and did it anyways. Of course the fire alarms caused everyone to panic and Damien took that as an extra challenge to keep attempting to burn the yogurt before it melted. At some point the yogurt machine exploded and everyone got sprayed, excluding Oz who saw it coming and took cover. After that was when... well… that's the part where they both got banned from Froyo World for life. Overall, things could have gone a lot worse and Oz may or may not have snuck some pictures of Damien covered in lemon yogurt before they finally parted ways. Oz had a roommate to bribe into silence after all.

"Zoe, I'm back!" Oz calls as he opens the door to his home. He doesn't get a response so adds, "I've also got your phone!"

The sound of feet running towards the door is imminent. A familiar face runs down the hall and straight to Oz with a far too excited smile. It still takes a moment for Oz to register Zoe's new form as the totem he talked to for months.

"You got my phone!?" Zoe makes little grabby hands with her tentacle and non-tentacle appendages like a toddler would for candy, "Give it to me! Give it to me!"

"Here," Oz hands Zoe the phone, and without giving Oz a second glance, starts to rush back to her room only to trip and faceplant on the way there. 

"Zoe?! Are you alright?!" Oz rushes over to the girl. 

Oz isn't really concerned for her well-being, y'know, with her having super regeneration and all that, but Zoe was holding a very breakable object when she fell that would be annoying to replace. Especially considering he just got her the phone in the first place. To Oz's relief, when Zoe rolls on her back she's cradling that smart phone like it's a baby. That's when Oz remembers, oh yeah, this is Zoe. There's no way she'd let her fanfiction posting device get broken from a fall

"I'm fine Oz! My new legs are just a little weird to use sometimes," As if to demonstrate, Zoe kicks her feet into the air a couple of times before hopping up, "Now I'm gonna head into my room and-"

"Hold it," Oz grabs Zoe's forearm to stop her from running off, "You don't even have anybody's number yet."

"Oh yeah! Can I have everybody's number Oz?!" Zoe asks excitedly.

Oz shakes his head, "Why else would I stop you and bring that up?"

Zoe whips her phone out and faster than Oz thought possible, goes through the phone set up, skipping the birthday because it apparently didn't go a couple eons back. Without hesitation, Zoe pulls up her contacts and gives Oz a look that spelled trouble.

"Hand over those numbers lover boy!" 

"L-Lover boy?!" Oz stammers, "I am not answering to that!"

"Joke's on you! You just did!" Zoe's tentacle arm yanks Oz's phone from his pocket and immediately starts trying to unlock it.

"Zoe! Give that back! You don't even know the password!" Oz cries.

"I bet it's Damien's name or birthday," Zoe smirks as her tentacle starts to input numbers and words into the phone.

"That-! I did not use Damien's birthday as my password!" Oz exclaims while blushing.

"Hmph. That's too bad. It would have been the cutest thing ever if you did," Zoe frowns as she continues trying to break into Oz's phone.

Oz snatches his phone from the tentacle with still pink ears, "Just let me put the password in and tell you everyone's number! You're just gonna lock me out of my phone and then nobody will be happy."

"Uhh! Fine!" Zoe whines, "Just do it fast! I want to get the low down on everyone's emotional state so I can better manipulate them into relationships later on."

Oz hesitates as he pulls up his contacts app, maybe he shouldn't give Zoe everyone's numbers. He would probably be doing them all a favor, but Zoe looks so excited. Oz just can't bring himself to deny the girl what she wants.

"Fine, listen close-" 

For the next few minutes, Oz recounts all the numbers while Zoe dutifully copies each one into her phone. When they finish, Oz leans over to make sure Zoe entered everything properly. He's happy to see that Zoe didn't make any mistakes with her typing. For someone who's only had opposable fingers for a few hours, she really has fine motor control. Either her eldritch magic is at play or Zoe was just blessed with the talent. 

While looking through Zoe's contacts, Oz doesn't notice her sneakily stealing his phone. With a quick grab, Zoe's tentacle is in ownership of Oz's phone once again. 

"Zoe! What are you doing?!" Oz tries to snatch his phone back again, but Zoe wises up in her strategy of keeping it away and let's her arms grow much longer than natural.

"~Just doing something!" Zoe sing songs mischievously as she backs away from Oz and lowers the phone out of Oz's reach and into hers, "~Don't worry too much."

A few types and giggles later and Zoe is tossing the phone back to Oz. The inky incarnation of fear catches the phone mid-air and fumbles with it a moment before sending a suspicious yet nervous glare at Zoe.

"Who did you text?!" Oz demands.

"Oh, I just asked Damien to add me in the group chat. Although, I might have done one other thing after that," Zoe smirks, winks, then retreats to her room as fast as possible.

Quickly, Oz scrambles to the group chat to see what else she did. She promised she wouldn't tease Oz about Damien to Damien, so what could she have possibly done? To his surprise, true to her word, the only text Oz finds that she sent is the one asking to be a part of the group chat. Oz reads some of the new messages to catch up to what's going on.

**SHORTSHADOW:** guys its zoe. stole oz's phone. here's my # put me in the chat pls and ty XXX-XXX-XXX 

**🔥Damien🔥:** Only because u successfully stole Ozzie's phone and i get to tease him about it

_Chat admin added user Zoe_

**Zoe:** YAY! 

_Zoe changed their name to xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx_

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** IT'S PERFECT!

**🦇BatBoy🦇:** No. Please no.

Oz ignores Zoe's awful chat name in favor of something much more important.

**SHORTSHADOW:** Since when have we been able to change our own names?

**🔥Damien🔥:** Since you stopped trying to change ur name to something lame

_Calculester Hewlett-Packard changed their name to Calculator_

**Calculator:** After much deliberation, I have decided on my chat name. Remembering that my name is supposedly a pun on number equating devices, I chose to stick with the joke.

Oz reads Calculester's text and checks his watch. It's been about five hours since Oz met the robot at the electronics store. Has Calculester been trying to figure out a name for that long?!

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Callllc! You finally talked! I totally thought I just imagined you getting added 😅😅😅

**Calculator:** You did not imagine anything friend Polly. I just needed to properly pick out a chat name that properly matched everyone else's before communicating with the group.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** You don't need to think that hard about chat names! Just go with whatever speaks to your heart! 

**Calculator:** I do not have a heart friend Polly.

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** She's talking about you're metaphorical heart! She means to do what you feel is right! You gotta let go of your programming and be spontaneous to truly be alive!

**BlazinHot:** dam, who knew that Zoe would just drop in the chat and start hitting everyone with advice bombs

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** I'm just encouraging long term character developement!

**Goodboi:** What does that mean?!?!?

**Calculator:** It is the way a person or character in a story changes because of their different actions and experiences. 

**Goodboi:** Oh cool! Can I have charracter devopement?!

**☆Sparky☆:** You can't just get character development Scott. You gotta work for it!

**Goodboi:** How do i work for it???

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** Most of the time, people hang out together and get into wacky shenanigans that cause life threatening problems where they bond!

**Goodboi:** Can we all do that?! I wanna do that?!?

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** We could totally do that!!!! We could all go out for frozen yogurt or something!!

**🔥Damien🔥:** Can't. i got banned from the entire chain

Oz is very tempted to send the picture of Damien covered in yogurt to everyone, but resists. 

**SHORTSHADOW:** I've also been banned.

**☆Sparky☆:** I get Damien, but how did you get banned Oz?

**BlazinHot:**...Vick. Who does Oz hang out with almost all the time?

**☆Sparky☆:** Damien

…

…

**☆Sparky☆:** Oh. Yeah, I get what you mean now.

**Medusa:** Took you long enough. How did you get Oz banned from a frozen yogurt place Damien? Did you burn the building down or punch the owner?

**🔥Damien🔥:** None of your fuking buisness!!!!

**SHORTSHADOW:** He blew up the yogurt machine.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** NOT THE YOGURT MACHINE!!! HOW COULD YOU DAMIEN!??!?!? 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

**🦇BatBoy🦇:** You can't eat. Why would you be angry about a yogurt machine exploding?

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** I forgot about that! Nevermind Damien, I'm not angry!

**🔥Damien🔥:** wouldn't of said sorry even if you were

**HerMajesty:** Not to be rude, but may I please ask what frozen yogurt is?

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Gasp! You don't know what frozen yogurt is Miranda?!

**HerMajesty:** No, I do not. That's what I just said.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Ok,ok,ok,ok,ok. I got this. So, you know what regular yogurt is right?

**HerMajesty:** Yes.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Well, it's regular yogurt that's frozen like soft serve ice cream 🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦

**HerMajesty:** Why would you get frozen yogurt instead of normal soft serve ice cream then? Would the original version of the food not be better.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Miranda, just stop talking. We're bringing you to a froyo place to try frozen yogurt. Sorry Damien and Oz, you're out

**SHORTSHADOW:** That's fine.

**🔥Damien🔥:** Screw you too Polly

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Who else wants to have froyo w/ me and Miranda?

**Calculester:** I am almost always free, so despite not being able to eat, I will attend.

**Goodboi:** I want character development!

**☆Sparky☆:** That's a yes from me and Scott

**Medusa:** I might as well show up. Though, if any of you embarrass me, I will leave.

**BlazinHot:** I'm in if Vera's in

**🦇BatBoy🦇:** I'll pass. Froyo is so overhyped. I'm over it.

**UndeadRiot:** I'll be there to make sure nobody else gets banned.

**🦇BatBoy🦇:** On the other hand, frozen yogurt is decently photogenic. I might as well come.

There's a squeal of delight from deeper in Oz's house that he immediately connects to Zoe and her shipping buzz. The door to Zoe's room busts open and she peeks around the corner with a smile too big to be natural. 

"Did you just read what happened?! OMG, Brian and Liam are so cute together! I'm gonna write so much fanfic when I get back," Zoe types on her phone and Oz's dings in response. Oz reads the new text.

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** I AM SO IN! I just gotta sucker Oz into bringing me there!

"Why would you say that when I'm right here?" Oz asks with a sigh, "You're not 'suckering' me into doing anything."

"It's just a phrase! Now, come on! I wanna get there before anyone else so I can get more material for my comics!" Zoe rushes forward and practically yanks Oz to his feet.

Zoe starts jumping up and down in place like an excited six year old and Oz relents to the excited girl, "Fine. Let's go. Please, don't scare my friends too much alright?"

"I WOULD NEVER!" Zoe gasps out offended, "I'm just a cute monster with an addiction to observing cute pairings!"

"Don't forget the meddling," Oz jokes.

"Oh, that's just for you and Damien," Zoe says sincerely, "Everyone else at least seems to be relatively progressing with their crushes. Hell, I think every one of _them_ at least realizes they have a crush in the first place. Which is a massive step up from you and that red idiot."

Oz thinks back to his conversation with Amira, that problem kinda got swept under the rug after the whole Zoe getting released thing happened. It's too late Oz realizes he hasn't answered and is blushing. Zoe interpretes this in her own way. Somehow, her black void eyes copy the normal action of eyes widening.

"Wait! Did you finally realize how you feel and didn't tell me?!" Zoe gasps, "While I'm infuriated you didn't talk to me about it, I'm still gonna help you. So, there's at least six different strategies for confessing one's love. One-"

The more and more Zoe talks, the brighter red Oz gets. Finally having enough, Oz cuts Zoe off by shoving her backwards and forcefully sending her to the void. Oz takes a moment to recover from his fluster and holds his head in his hands, still bright pink. Instead of heading after Zoe and properly bringing her to the place everyone's meeting, Oz decides to literally drop her off at the yogurt place. Not thirty seconds later and his phone starts dinging repeatedly. While not wanting to look, Oz still has the instinct to check all his texts deeply ingrained in his head.

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** WE ARE NOT DONE TALKING ABOUT THIS MISTER BECAUSE I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS TO SAY ANYTHING YOURSELF! 

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** UR LUCKY I REALLY WANT TO HANG OUT WITH EVERYONE OR I'D BE COMING FOR YOU! 

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** BE PREPARED BECAUSE WHEN I GET BACK I WILL DEMAND AN EXPLANATION! ALONG WITH A WORD BY WORD DESCRIPTION OF HOW YOU REALIZED FOR MY FANFICS!

Oh god, Oz is never gonna hear the end of this. Zoe will literally be the death of him. Maybe he can get her off his tail by thinking up an excuse. Silently, Oz painfully accepts that he'll just have to stay embarrassed all day once Zoe gets back. Maybe he can even convince her not to write fanfic about them while he tries to justify his awkward pause? Ha, yeah right, this is Zoe he's talking about. 

Oz screams into his hands until he finally decides to confront the root of his problems. And by confront, he means text Damien again and mentions nothing about any of this. Oz slouches and pulls up Damien's and his texts before turning a fiery red. He tosses his phone to the other and of the couch and pulls his legs up to his chest.

Across the couch, sets Oz's phone. Zoe had been honest about not sending extra texts. Instead, she changed the contact name from Damien to…

~♥️DADDY♥️~

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Meanwhile, Zoe furiously continues to write on her phone as she finishes another paragraph. She chose a seat near the window and was furiously typing about the two monsters sitting across the shop. Those two monsters are none other than the Slayer and Dahlia. Frantically, Zoe uses her super hearing to transfer their words to her phone for later.

After Oz dropped her off at the yogurt place before anyone got there she genuinely thought she'd be bored out of her mind. Little did she know the universe had a thing for tentacle girls, because luck was on her side. 

The best part of this setup is that neither Slayer nor Dahlia knew Zoe as a student yet so they didn't have any reason to look out for her. IT WAS PERFECT!

Well, it was until Miranda and Polly rushed into the shop with a loud bang and spotted Zoe and in extension, drawing Slayer and Dahlia's attention to her table. Zoe pouts at a lost opportunity, but brightens when Polly and Miranda. Two of the princess's serfs sit at her feet. A sea turtle and a seagull.

"Heeeeeeey Zoe! You got here quick!" Polly sounds very out of it. Zoe shrugs, probably drugs.

"Yeah! I told you I was gonna sucker Oz into dropping me off here right? I just embarrassed him until he wanted me gone," Zoe explains while still soaking in Slayer and Dahlia's movements with one of her extra eyes.

"Coooooool! Ha, I just floated!" Polly giggles.

"I arrived in my carriage," Miranda smiles.

Zoe looks out the Froyo Shop's window and sure enough, there's a giant pink carriage outside with a floating white seahorse attached. It has shiny gold trim and enough glitter to make some of Zoe's weaker eyes water at the shine. 

"Wow, your carriage is so cute Miranda!" Zoe gushes, "It's so kawaii that it makes me wanna make a fanfic set in the medieval era!"

It's true. Zoe's already thinking up several different AUs and plots that could be amazingly fun to write. She could already imagine how it would go…

Prince Damien LaVey, the heir to the 8th kingdom of hell travels to rescue the fair princess Miranda Vanderbilt who he is betrothed to. When he comes to the tower he gets ready to fight the dragon trapping Miranda only to find out that the dragon is actually protecting Miranda from a future she doesn't want. With the princess refusing to go home and fulfill her princessly duties, Prince Damien has to try and court her the old fashioned way. Only to find himself falling in love with the shapeshifting dragon that was meant to guard her named Oz. ~Ohhhhh, the drama, the romance, all the lecherous situations Zoe could put them in. She has to write that soon. 

"-Zoe? Are you alright?" Miranda's voice snaps Zoe from her internal monologue.

Cataloguing the story idea for later, Zoe focuses on the present, "Sorry! Got a bit distracted by how awesome your ride is! I'm so jel!"

"Ah, yes. There are many things to be envious about when it comes to the Vanderbilt family. I understand your troubles," Miranda smiles.

The door to the FroYo place opens with a slam yet again to let in Vicky and Amira. With barely a glance around the room, Vicky spots the growing group of monsters next to the window and tugs Amira towards them. This ends up with betrayal because Amira quickly snatches the last seat next to Zoe. 

With no room left at the tiny four person table for her, Vicky pouts before quickly dragging another smaller table over to connect with theirs, letting it scrape against the floor the whole way. Some of the customers glare at her while she does this. This includes Slayer.

"Hey Zoe! Hey Polly! Hey Miranda!" Vicky greets her as she tugs her chair into place and sits down, "Have you ordered any yogurt yet? If so, what flavor?"

"Does it look like they got yogurt Vicky?" Amira asks sarcastically.

Vicky glares at the fiery girl on the other side of Zoe, "Stop being so sassy just because your girlfriend isn't here yet!"

"V-Vera's not my girlfriend!" Amira stutters then, so quietly only Zoe's eldritch hearing picks it up m, she adds, "...yet."

Vicky smirks, "I didn't say anything about Vera. I just mentioned a girlfriend."

Amira flushes, "I hate you Vicky…"

"No you don't! You love me!" Vicky smiles again, "Just like you love a certain gorgan!"

"VICKY!" Amira's goes another shade darker.

Okay, Zoe really likes Vicky. She has a feeling that the two of them are going to be teaming up on a regular basis in the near future. Zoe also soaks up all the juicy shipping material coming from Amira. This meet-up is already going amazingly well.

Polly suddenly starts giggling uncontrollably as she looks past Miranda, "I think you broke her."

Zoe follows the ghost's gaze and notices Vera standing next to their table with her mouth open and a slight blush, her snakes plastered against her head and neck almost shyly. Guess it's easy to sneak up on a group of people if you don't slam the door and grab everyone's attention. 

"O-Oh, hi Vera!" Vicky curls in on herself a little, "We didn't see you come in. Guess you heard me and Amira joking around just then didn't you? Ha ha ha."

Zoe doesn't know if Amira's red because she's pissed or if she's flustered. When Vera's gaze slowly shifts to Amira, the anger fades away into some type of mortification. It's very interesting considering how many times Zoe's watched the confident girl flirt with Vera before. It's not like she hasn't made her feelings obvious.

Amira's sudden shift in attitude snaps Vera out of whatever trance she is and she down before promptly pulling out her phone as her face slowly turns neutral, if not cold, "Vicky did not break me Polly. I was simply annoyed that she would talk about _my_ personal life without me present."

"S-Sorry Vera! I'll never do it again!" Vicky looks afraid for her life.

"Please, make sure you keep that promise," Vera says coldly, "I'm not one deal with broken promises very kindly."

The five monsters fall into an awkward silence. Miranda looks genuinely confused, she probably didn't understand the whole interaction in the first place, Polly looks like she's about to pass out, Vera's pissed, and Amira looks like she wants to curl up until she disappears. Knowing this, Zoe chose to take the chance to ask a question she's been dying to while also breaking the silence.

"Hey Vera? I've been dying to ask. Do your snakes have names?" Zoe asks excitedly.

Whatever anger Vera was still holding on to swaps with confusion as she raises an eyebrow, "Why would you want to know if my snakes have names?"

"Well, that question was supposed to lead up to me asking if they have personalities," Zoe bounces in her seat, "Then I could ask if they had hobbies or something, because if they have personalities they must have interests right? Then I was-"

"Hold it. I'll stop you right there. My snakes do not have names," Vera rolls her eyes and scoffs, "Why would I name any of-"

"Veeeeeraa! Stop lying!" Polly lets her head fall in her hands as she leans across the table clumsily, "We all know we named your snakes. Just a couple a weeks ago you were complaining about one named Spirulina! Then there was that time Scott tried to name them and you corrected him after he called one Bob. Oh, plus there was that-"

"Polly!" Vera hisses, "That's enough!"

"Really? K then," Polly falls backwards into her seat with a giggle and Miranda scoots away from her a little.

Zoe's grinning with a spark in her eyes, "Okay, so they have names. Now you just gotta tell me about they're personalities. Is one of them a rebel, do you have an artist type, what about shy, OMG is one of them a tsundere?! You've gotta teeeelll me!"

"Yeah Vera," At some point Polly's head hit the table, "You gooooottta tell her."

Vera looks frustrated, "My snakes do not have personalities. They only react to my emotions. The only reason they ever got named was because I wanted to when I was a kid."

"Aww! Little Vera named her snakes! That's adorable-" Vera glares at Zoe and she backtracks, "-ly strategic. Yeah, adorably strategic. That way you can tell which snake to bite who without getting confused! It's perfect!"

Polly laughs from where she's face down on the table, "Nice save."

Vera grumbles something under her breath that even Zoe can't hear before the door to the Froyo place slams yet again. Everyone looks up, including Slayer, who seems to get more and more annoyed with each monster that steps into the shop. A familiar robot and werewolf enter.

"Friend Scott, you can't open a door that way. It's improper behavior to disturb people trying to enjoy a treat with friends," Calculester chides the over excited werewolf.

"I'm sorry! It's just that I really wanna see-" Vicky stands up from her seat and waves to Scott, catching his attention, "VICKY! Come on Cal! Let's go sit down so we can get yogurt! I hope they have bacon flavor!"

"Friend Scott, I doubt they'll have meat flavored-" Calculester gets tugged by arm to the table across the shop by Scott before he can finish.

Zoe squeals at meeting the computer person Oz told her about. He looks exactly like Oz described, well, except for the fact he had a body instead of a computer chair. However, Zoe's willing to bet that might just be new with the bewildered expressions everyone else at the table has.

"When did you get a body?!" Vicky asks when she finally stops paying attention to Scott and notices Calculester.

"Yes, I'd like to know as well?" Despite Vera's monotone words, her furrowed brow gives away her curiosity.

"I mean, that is certainly the upgrade. Aren't you afraid that someone might accuse you of being…" Amira gestures with her hand as if looking for the right words, "...not biological."

Calculester shakes his head as Vicky switches seats to be closer to Scott, "The previous principal of Spooky High, Principal Spider, has decided to retire due to stress. His nephew Mister Spider, now known as Principal Spider, is taking over the job for him and is without a single belief in roboticism. I am perfectly fine to come out as my mechanical self."

"Wait," Miranda says louder than usual, drawing everyone's attention, "Calculester is a ROBOT?!"

"No Mirannnda!" Polly suddenly sits up and puts a finger on Miranda's lips, "Don't worry. That's just the shrooms! They just make people look like robots and unicorns!"

"Actually, Friend Miranda is right Friend Polly," Calculester butts in, "I am 100% a robot."

"Oh… cool beans," And back Polly's head goes to the table. 

"Also, to answer the rest of your questions, I built this body myself," Calculester almost sounds… proud of himself.

"Impressive," Vera says in a rare moment of sincerity.

"Yeah, that's cool!" Vicky cheers.

"Oh! Calculester got a new body," Scott says with dawning realization, "I knew something was different about him. I just couldn't put my finger on it."

"Scott, he literally has an entire new body how did you not notice?" Amira asks with an eyebrow quirked.

"I wanted frozen yogurt," Scott answers as if it should be obvious.

This time when someone else walks in without slamming the door, Zoe notices, and what she sees sends her shipper senses tingling. Across the room, Brian is holding the door open for Liam, who is pretending to be too involved in his phone to notice and doing a terrible job at it. Oh, those two were going to be just as bad as Oz and Damien. Zoe just knew it.

"Hey, Liam and Brian are here," Zoe comments, stopping whatever small talk was going on.

"Does that mean I get frozen yogurt now?" Scott turns and asks Vicky excitedly.

"We've gotta at least let them get over here first," Vicky smiles at Scott patiently.

Vicky doesn't have much concern about Vicky and Scott. They both seem pretty oblivious, but Scott wears his heart on his sleeve. Soon enough, he'll say he loves Vicky and Zoe's sure the girl will reciprocate. The only to be couple that Zoe hasn't got a good read on yet is-

"Hey Brian," Amira waves, "Did mister hipster over there make you 'fashionably late?'"

"I am never 'fashionably late' as you say," Liam immediately protests in Brian's stead, "I just showed up at a time later than usual to arrive in way different than the masses. It's called not having herd mentality."

"So… you were fashionably late?" Vera summerizes.

"Definitely fashionably late," Amira nods at Vera.

"T-That is not-"

Scott cuts off Liam's stammering by standing up and pouting towards Vicky, "Can we go get frozen yogurt now?

"Fine," Vicky sighs in defeat, "You've waited long enough."

Vicky stands up, pats Scott on the back, and then leads the excited werewolf over to the yogurt machines to pick a flavor and toppings. Polly perks up suddenly, looking shockingly sober despite whatever is in her system. 

"Is it yogurt time?!" Polly spots Scott and Vicky at the machines and jumps up, "IT'S YOGURT TIME!"

Polly grabs Miranda and tugs her out of her chair before making her way over to the extra large cups and the sprinkles near the end of the toppings bar. 

"Welp, I came here for frozen yogurt," Amira stands up and stretches, "So I'm gonna go get yogurt."

"Hmm… yes," Vera also stands up and pockets the phone she never set down since the beginning of this encounter, "I might as well get something since I'm here."

"I will also walk over there.,"

Calculester starts away and Liam frowns at Brian, "Since when did Calculester get a body to match his head? I thought he was trying to hide being a robot?"

Zoe perks up in interest. Oz didn't say Liam knew about Calculester, "You figured out he was a robot?"

Liam scoffs and rolls his eyes, "Of course I did. It wasn't like he did a good job at hiding it. He might as well have put a cloth sheet over his head with holes and said he was a ghost. It was rather imbecilic."

"Well, good for you?" Zoe doesn't really know how to respond to that so she stands up and takes a few steps towards the yogurt machines, "I'm gonna go try frozen yogurt for the first time! I wonder if it tastes like insanity? Eh, it'll probably be sweeter."

Zoe makes it across the room to find Polly weeping in front of a blackened metal clump on the floor. The sign in front of it says that the machine is broken. Well duh, the whole thing looks like it got… blown… up. Zoe smiles a goofy grin. So when Damien and Oz said they got banned from the yogurt place for blowing up a machine, they literally meant they had just got banned for blowing up a machine. The only reason Zoe doesn't start laughing is because of her weeping friend. Although she does note to tease Oz about it later while she's interrogating him.

"Hey Polly?" The ghost looks up at Zoe, "Why are you crying on the ground in front of a burnt up yogurt machine."

"It had the Amaretto yogurt in it!" Polly cries, "Now what flavor am I gonna have?!"

"Polly," Zoe looks stupefied, "You still can't eat."

Polly's eyes light up and she's suddenly on her feet again, "Oh yeah right! Guess I'll just have to help everyone else pick a flavor then! Thanks for setting me straight boo!"

Zoe walks up to the yogurt machines and excitedly reads the different labels while wondering what to choose. There's so many different flavors, so many different toppings, so many options! Seems like Zoe's not the only one having a problem.

"Ohhhh, what do I pick Vicky?! Cake batter, candy cane, mint, marshmallow, graham cracker… there's too many choices!" Scott whines, "What are you getting Vicky?!"

"Oh, uhh, I'm having cookies and cream," Scott perks up at Vicky's words but she quickly adds, "You can't have that though, there's chocolate in it. You'll have to pick something else."

Scott frowns a little but brightens back up as he turns to ask Vicky another question, "What would you get if they were out of cookie and cream yogurt?"

"Probably fudge brownie batter or-" Vicky stops as if realizing her first option was also chocolate before frantically scanning the room machines for a non-coco option, "...uhhhhhhh… peanut butter. Yeah, I'd totally get the peanut butter option!"

"Awesome! That's what I'll get then!" Scott rushes to the yogurt bar and grabs two cups for him and Vicky. He rushes back to the machine and hands Vicky a cup before they both happily fill them.

Zoe flushes and her hand instinctively reaches for something to write. This was the cutest! God, Zoe's just surrounded by inspiration! All the tropes she could use to spice things up, all the possibilities! This is heaven on Earth. Absolutely-

"I think I'll have the raspberry. They do say that they're royal afterall," Miranda's voice interrupts Zoe's thoughts. 

Zoe watches as one of Miranda's serfs fills a cup full of dark pink icy semi-solid substance. The shade of pink of the yogurt perfectly matched Miranda's hair color. With a little squinting, Zoe looks at the label on the machine and sees it's 'Royal Raspberry.' Zoe snorts, of course Miranda would think that actually meant it was for royalty. That's the point when Zoe realized almost everyone's already got their sweet treat and that she still hadn't got her's.

Quickly, Zoe goes back through the machine's to look for something she's like. She wants something super sweet and colorful, so that eliminates all the basic flavors. No vanilla or coffee, it's too plain. No fruits, too solitary colored. That leaves… cotton candy and birthday cake. It's a surprisingly easy choice. When Zoe was last alive, cotton candy didn't exist. That's why Zoe _has_ to try it! 

Zoe stretches her tentacle arm towards the bar and grabs a single yogurt cup before filling it to the brim. Still, Zoe wasn't done. The toppings were next. Damn, another set of so many choices! How is Zoe supposed to choose again. Suddenly, a stray idea pops into the eldritch nightmare's head. She didn't just have to pick _one_ topping like she did with yogurt flavor. Hastily, Zoe adds a little bit of everything to her frozen treat. Then, far too satisfied with herself, she trots back to the table where everyone is playfully arguing.

"I'm telling you Vicky! Cherry vanilla is far superior to cookies and cream!" Amira exclaims.

"No way! Peanut Butter is the best!" Scott interrupts.

"You're only saying that because Vicky picked it for you," Vera scoffs, "The obviously superior flavor is chocolate malt."

"I have to disagree!" Miranda frowns then points to her serfs that are eating her yogurt, "The Royal Raspberry is specifically made to be fit for that of noble blood. It has to be the best. Tell them eating serfs!"

Zoe sits down as Miranda's serfs frantically sing the food's praises. As the group's argument switches favorite flavors to why Miranda got yogurt if she wasn't going to eat it, Zoe looks around the table and notices Brain doesn't have anything.

Zoe points this out, "Hey Brian? Why didn't you get anything?"

Brian looks away from Polly, Miranda, and Amira's verbal scuffle to turn his attention towards Zoe, "I actually did get something. Liam's just using it right now."

Zoe turns to the vampire to find him focused on Brian's yogurt as he moves some of the toppings around until the cup looks like one from a high end restaurant. He pulls out his phone and mutters under his breath about the lighting before moving the cup a couple of inches over. His phone's camera flashes and Liam looks pleased with himself.

Zoe turns back to Brian. She has a feeling she knows what's going on but would like confirmation. Brian seems to read Zoe's expression because he helpfully explains.

"Liam doesn't eat so there was no point in him buying something for himself. I just let him pick out so he could take pictures before I ate it," Brian then turns to Liam, who's typing on his phone, "Are you done with the picture taking?"

"Yes. Go ahead and take your food back to eat it or whatever," Liam stops typing for a moment to push the cup over to Brian.

"Thanks," Brian nods to the vampire as he finally starts eating.

Oh geez, so much material for Zoe's fics! She can already imagine- Zoe catches herself before she spaces out. While Zoe has no aversion to daydreaming in front of people, frozen yogurt can melt, and Zoe isn't going to waste the rainbow in a cup before her. Zoe takes the tiny spoon in front of her and lifts it to her mouth. Zoe's eyes light up and she disregards the spoon to just let her monstrous mouth open up and suck the entire cup in. 

Once her yogurt's gone, Zoe sets both her hands on her cheek and lets out a satisfied sigh, "I forgot how good sweet things are…"

Everyone at the table has stopped what they were doing and is staring at Zoe. Actually, most of the people in the store stopped to stare at Zoe. The only exception was Salyer, who was desperately pretending she didn't know who anybody at the table was and was encouraging Dahlia to do the same.

Scott breaks the silence, "Woah! That was cool! You and me should totally have a hot dog eating contest sometime!"

"Do you eat like that all the time?" Liam responds in a more disgusted way.

Zoe flushes, "No. I just haven't had anything with sugar in the last four eons. I had a bit of a craving."

"Four eons?!" Amira flops back in her seat and sets a hand on her forehead, "I keep forgetting that you're literally billions of years old."

"Yeah," Vicky adds, "And technically Oz is just as old."

"Actually, Oz is much older than me. I'm kinda like a child compared to him," Zoe corrects.

Amira sinks in her seat, "Yeah, don't say that. I'm still trying to process the fact that lovable dorky Oz is the literal incarnation of fear and has lived longer than an eldritch abomination of insanity."

Calculester's screen light up red, "Excuse me friend Amira, but what do you-"

"Don't forget the part about where he can turn into a giant monster the size of our school and actually beat said eldritch being of insanity," Brian adds.

Trying to feel included, Zoe adds, "Yeah, and he didn't even use his true form. I thought I was at least powerful enough to stand up to that!"

Everyone goes quiet again and looks at Zoe. Amira speaks up, "What do you mean, 'he didn't even use his true form?'"

Zoe looks confused, "Uhh, that Oz wasn't actually fighting me. All he did was make a giant monster out of everyone's shadows. He didn't actually go full power. If he did, you all would probably be catatonic just from looking at him."

Vicky follows Amira's example and sinks in her chair, Vera looks slightly unnerved at the new information, and everyone else present seems to soak the information in thoughtfully. All except for Calculester, who doesn't understand what's going on at all. There is one thing that they all share though, the frozen yogurt has been forgotten.

Zoe's oblivious to the bomb she just dropped, "Guys? Did I say something wrong? Did I break you?"

There's no response for a couple of minutes, but Vicky finally sits back in her seat and seems to perk back up, "We're not broken Zoe. I was just soaking that knowledge in."

"Yes," Vera nods, "That's it."

Instead of agreeing or disagreeing with Vicky's statement, Amira just starts to shovel yogurt in her mouth. Everyone else with yogurt follows her lead. Calculester just gets increasingly confused by everyone's actions.

The monsters present fall back into a normal conversation quickly enough. Liam talks about what music he considers good and bad, Amira and Vera talk about the requirements to form a pyramid scheme, everyone ignores Calculester's questions about the earlier conversation, and overall, everything goes back to the normal lull of highschool banter. Until, the subject of Oz is brought back up by a curious Scott.

"Hey Zoe?" Scott asks, catching the eldritch nightmare's attention.

"Yeah?" Zoe breaks her attention away from Liam and Brian's conversation to listen.

"Oz says he doesn't eat, but you do. Why's that?" Scott tilts his head curiously.

"Scott, that's probably because not all eldritch abominations are the-"

Zoe interrupts Vicky, "Oh, I don't _need_ to eat regular food. It doesn't actually make me any less hungry. The only reason I eat it is because my tongues have taste buds, Oz's are made of dark matter so they don't. When we get hungry we feed on emotions and stuff. I eat the insanity and panic the mortal brain feels on the verge of death and Oz consumes fear."

Amira stands up from her chair and pushes in into the table, "That's it! I've learned more about Oz than I have ever needed to know! I'm done with my yogurt and I'm going home before you tell me he has the ability to read people's minds."

"Well, if you're afraid of something he can-"

"Nope!" Amira plugs her ears, "I don't want to know! See you guys later! It was nice hanging out! Goodbye!"

Amira walks out the door still plugging her ears. Everyone else trades glances while Brian checks his phone.

Vera looks less happy to be here with Amira gone, "I actually need to be leaving too. Drug rings and businesses don't run themselves after all. Ta ta."

Without waiting for a goodbye, Vera stands up and exits.

Vicky stands up next, "Yeah, I've gotta get working on my plans for the next football game."

"That's a month away," Brain deadpans.

"Early bird gets the worm!" Vicky smiles before turning to Scott, "You wanna come back to my place and see some of the banners I made? They're super glittery!"

"OF COURSE!" Scott jumps up from his chair in record time, "I love glittery things!"

Miranda perks up, "May I join the both of you in your crafting endeavors?"

Vicky smiles even wider, "Of course Miranda! You can help me set up the banner with embarrassing photos of the other team! I figured more people will cheer for Scott and Brian if they see how terrible the other team is!"

"Oh! My father uses that tactic on our enemies all the time, so our kingdom gets more allies! I would love to help you! We can even ride in my carriage!" Miranda gracefully stands from her seat and turns to the remaining monsters sitting, "I hope to see you all at a later date. Farewell!"

"Yeah! Bye bye!" Scott adds.

Vicky doesn't even say anything. The moment she spotted the glittery carriage her focus was stolen. She grabs Scott and starts dragging them out the door towards their ride. Miranda follows slowly.

"Guess that's my que to go!" Polly floats out of her seat and then through the wall, "SEEEEYAAA LATER!"

Liam stands up next, "Being the last person to leave is lame, so me and Brain are going to leave before that happens."

Brian raises an eyebrow as if that's news to him, but stands up anyways and shrugs, "Sure. Everyone else is gone already so whatever."

As they leave, the only two people that are left are Calculester and Zoe. Without much thought, Zoe texts Oz she needs to be picked up.

"New student Zoe? Do you know what everyone was talking about earlier? My programming says that Oz is classified as a lower class fearling demon in the school files," Calulester digitally frowns.

"The files are wrong," Zoe shrugs as her shadow twitches just a little, signaling Oz is about to- yep. Zoe starts to slowly sink into her own shadow, "By the way. We're totally friends so you can just call me Zoe like everyone else."

And just like that, Zoe's in the void, then back at Oz's house. With the speed of an eldritch nightmare on a mission, Zoe searches the house for her roommate at the speed of light.

"~OZ," Zoe starts looking for Oz so she can question him, "Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

She'll never find him. Oz is fearing for his life in the neverending void for the next twenty-four hours. When he finally comes back out, that's when he finds out Zoe was teasing about the whole thing. Turns out, she's learned her lesson about assuming things from silence and just decided to take the opportunity to torture her roommate. Oz hates his life sometimes.

  
  



	37. The Dark Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone else has a crush on Oz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short Chapter... for reasons...

As the days lead up to Polly's 'New Friend Party,' the school slowly starts to get rebuilt. Oz estimates that school will be back in session in under three weeks, and that's tops. Truly, whatever masonry company the Principal hired is full of miracle workers, or warlocks. Warlocks could definitely build a school in under three weeks.

During these three weeks of academic freedom, Oz has done three things. He's hung out with Zoe, hung out with Damien, or hung out with Kale and the Loser Gang. The once reclusive introvert has become quite the social butterfly. However, even Oz knows some alone time is a must. In fact, that's the exact reason he was taking a walk by the school in the first place. To be alone and go get Zoe more junk food to eat while she writes fanfiction about whatever monster couple floats her boat. Nobody said freedom didn't come with a price.

Making his way past the woods surrounding Spooky High, Oz comes up to a gas station and walks in. The pink half-dragon clerk at the register doesn't even look up from her magazine when Oz walks in. 

Because Zoe doesn't know anything about food, she told Oz to just pick the, "The most colorful stuff they have."

It was a simple enough request for Oz, since most candy and junk food packages have rainbow coloration and flashy patterns. A few fruit snacks, some carbonated drink, a couple bags of chips, and three mini cakes later, and Oz has quite the selection of food to appease Zoe and her monsterous snacking habits. 

With an armful of at least five thousand calories, Oz walks up to the register. The dragon clerk finally sets down her magazine, and at the sight of the pile Oz brought to by, raises an eyebrow and starts scanning items.

"You going to a party or something?" She asks as she drops one of the neon pink sodas into a bag.

"O-Oh, no. My friend has a thing for junk food," Oz explains awkwardly, "She refuses to leave me alone unless she has snacks to eat while she's writing."

"Well, at least these'll last you a couple weeks right?" 

Oz decides to lie and just nod at the clerk. This random person doesn't need to know that these snacks will only last until tomorrow. The girl finishes ringing up the food and Oz pulls some cash out of the void and pays. Oz grabs the three bags of food on the counter and walks back out the door of the station and starts back home.

With the seasons changing from summer to fall, the leaves have already started to turn and the air is getting a bite to it. Oz leisurely strolls down the street while humming. It was pretty early in the morning, so not many people were around. This morning has been serene. With Zoe not being too teasing, the nice walk, and the normal cashier, Oz has appreciated the normality. Nice, calm, and quiet…

Yeah, Oz has already resigned himself to whatever terrible thing is about to happen. Anytime it gets this peaceful, something goes wrong. Oz isn't mad about it, it's just what his life is like. The sky is blue, the grass is green, and silence means trouble is brewing. 

That's why when loud shouting is heard inside the forest next to Spooky High, Oz has a decision to make. Does he investigate and get dragged into someone else's problem, or does he walk away and hope the problem goes away. Oz knows the universe won't actually give him a choice not to get involved, but he tries to ignore the sounds of conflict and walk away anyways. It doesn't work. As a giant fuck you from the universe, the moment Oz turns to walk away, a giant barrier appears and blocks his path.

Oz instantly recognizes the spell and the magic. The Coven uses this spell for a physical and magical barricade. It's the one they use whenever food fights break out at school or Damien goes on a rampage in their general vicinity. Nothing gets in the dome, and nothing gets out.

Oz could spend ten minutes breaking it, or he could just go ask the three witches most definitely in the woods why they made a forcefield in the first place. Oz chooses the latter.

Oz pinches the bridge of his nose before stepping off the sidewalk outside the school and making his way towards the woods. The closer Oz gets to the source of the yelling, the more sure it's the Coven. They're probably fighting another threat to the world with a convoluted backstory. Oz no sooner breaks into the clearing the witches are fighting in when he has to duck a black ball of dark magic. Oz barely dodges the magic, but the tree behind him isn't so lucky as it gets cut in two by the magic and Oz has to dodge yet again when it starts to fall on top him. The giant oak hits the ground where Oz was previously standing with a loud thud. Oz drops Zoe's snacks into his shadow for safekeeping. This will probably get ugly.

After almost getting squashed by a poorly aimed spell, Oz is rightly a little on edge, so when he looks back at the fight he's cautious of getting closer. Hope, Faith, and Joy are standing apart, all wielding different forms of magical weaponry while posing dramatically.

"HA! We've got you now Dmitri!" Joy shouts triumphantly.

"You've nowhere to run! Give us that Angel's blood!" Hope adds. Oz wants to facepalm. That's what this is all about, a stolen bottle of blood.

"We need it so we can stop the evil curse destined to turn the entirety of human and monster kind into cannibals!" Faith finishes. 

Oh, Oz is more concerned now. Cannibalism is not something to mess around with. Oz turns his attention to the Coven's opponent and is momentarily taken aback. It seems to be a vampire with snow white tousled hair, a black and red cape, and golden ornaments. Oz looks away to be respectful because he's also very, very _shirtless_. 

While Oz is looking away, the vampire starts to speak, "You optimistic fools! Nothing short of a god could defeat me! I am more powerful than you will ever be!"

"Skip the dramatics Dmitri!" Faith shouts, kinda hypocritically, giving Oz a name for the shirtless vampire across the clearing, "We've defeated you fair and square! Return what is ours!"

Nobody seems to have noticed Oz yet and it doesn't look like they will anytime soon with how passionate they are about this little back and forth.

"Defeated me?! HAHAHAHA!" Dmitri laughs malevolently in a seductive way, "You've merely trapped yourselves in her with me! You've gotten rid of the chance for any allies to come and save your miserable pride when you lose! You are truly alone."

Oz sees this as his chance to jump in and takes it, "Actually, Hope, Joy, and Faith kinda trapped me in here with you too."

All the shouting stops for a moment as everyone turns their attention to the new voice. It makes Oz feel awkward but he pushes on. It's not like he trapped himself in the barrier dome. Oz forces himself to look up and make eye contact with the Coven and the still shirtless Dmitri. 

"We… trapped you in here with us?" Faith looks a little embarrassed.

"Y-Yeah. I was taking a walk and then BOOM!" Oz's phobias pop up to reenact the scene, "There's a wall blocking my path and screaming in the woods. I-I was gonna ask you to bring the forcefield down, but you three seem a little busy."

"Wow!" Dmitri starts sarcastically, "The three witches of the Coven can't even distinguish between friend and foe! How incompetant can you three be!"

"HEY!" The three witches turn bright red.

Hope covers her face and looks down at her feet while Joy gets defensive, "Barrier magic is an extremely difficult spell to perform on large scales! How were we supposed to know somebody was walking by the forest at the exact time you decided to interrupt our incantation and steal our most important ingredient!"

Oz gets closer to the fighting teenagers and waves his hands frantically, "Don't worry Joy! I don't blame you guys at all! It was seriously just my terrible luck! I pretty much have people trying to kill me on a regular basis so just getting trapped in a dome is kind of a relief for me!"

Joy seems a little placated at that, "Still, we're super sorry about getting you involved in our magic thing."

"Seriously, it's fine," Oz reassures, "Damien's gotten me into much worse on much shorter notice."

"Stop cheering those witches up! We were about to fight! Can't you go sit by a tree and wait for us to get done or something?!"

Oz makes the mistake to look up at Dmitri before looking away again and shielding the vampire from his vision, "Ok, I'm sorry for being rude, but why do you not have a shirt on?!"

Dmitri seems surprised by Oz's sudden questioning and the Coven looks suspiciously close to laughing. 

"What are you talking about?! I am Dmitri, the powerful, handsome, and confident vampire of the dark side! My abs are considered a sight to behold by many! Why would I ever wear a shirt to hide them?" Dmitri responds.

"Have you ever heard of modesty?! Plus, it's almost fall! Aren't you cold?!" Oz continues to keep his gaze averted.

"I am the embodiment of dark desires and lust! Modestly is a quality only weak-minded creatures possess," Dmitri answers arrogantly, "As for the temperature, my icy heart is too cold to be affected by the slight chill in the air!"

Joy is the weakest leak in the chain, she busts out laughing, "Oh my god! Oz totally called you out!"

Hope breaks next, "Pft, 'my icy heart is too cold to be affected.' That's your excuse!"

Faith covers her mouth to mask her snorts, "We've literally been asking ourselves the same question the last five seasons. I didn't know we could be so blunt asking."

"Don't laugh at me! I am more powerful than all of you combined!" Dmitri legitimately looks flustered, "I am no comedy routine for you to make fun of!"

The three witches in the Coven sober up and get back into battle positions, "For once in your terrible creation you're right Dmitri! This is a battlefield! We shouldn't be focused on such trivial things!"

"Finally you see-"

The Coven interrupts Dmitri with a blast of light energy, "We should be focused on defeating you once and for all!"

Dmitri dodges the light energy and runs towards Coven with glowing red eyes, "Finally! The real fight begins!"

Oz watches as the conflict really does pick up. The Coven practically casts offensive and defensive spells as Dmitri lunges at them and attempts to get a hit in with his supernatural vampire strength. Oz deliberates on joining in, but decides against getting involved in the chaotic battle of strength and magic. The Coven is doing a pretty good job handling themselves.

Of course that's the point where Oz jinxed himself. Dmitri lunges forward to try and get a hit on Faith just as the shield spell keeping him back from her breaks. In a split second, Dmitri's fist makes contact with Faith's gut and she goes flying into a tree.

"Nooooo!" Hope cries out.

"Faith! Hold on! We'll get rid of Dmitri in your honor!" Joy uses another light spell to try and hit the vampire.

Oz rushes across the clearing and leans down next to the fallen witch of the Coven, "Are you okay Faith? Does anything hurt?"

Faith sits up and leans against the tree before letting out a pained grunt, "Yeah… just got bruised up a little. Just… give me a few minutes and I'll be back in action. I just need to… catch my breath."

Faith doesn't get any time to catch her breath because the familiar form of hope hits the other tree next to Oz in a similar fashion to Faith.

"Damn you Dmitri! How dare you use Hope's protective nature against her?!" Joy shouts in anger and Oz looks over his shoulder at the two combatants.

"You stupid heroic types are so self sacrificing, I hardly had to lift a finger for her to take herself out!" Dmitri stops fighting a moment to arrogantly chuckle, "Who's laughing now wenches!"

Oz looks back at Faith to see her eyes blazing with determination, she grunts in pain as she forces herself to stand up and run back into the fray of battle. Oz watches her go with a spike of frustration. She's just going to get knocked back down again in that state. Oz shakes his head before rushing over to Hope's lying form. Just as Oz makes it over to her, two thuds are heard simultaneously and Oz looks over his shoulder to see both Faith and Joy have been punched into trees. Seriously, what is it with this guy and punching people into trees? He has to be doing it on purpose at this point.

"Ha! The dark side is victorious! Revel in the absolute despair that comes with your defeat Coven! For you should be grateful to be beaten by the ultimate being of darkness known as Dmitri! Muah ha ha!" After his big speech and evil laugh Dmitri smiles, "What say you wenches? How do you feel knowing you weren't powerful enough to beat me? Now the curse of the Rotenburg Cannibal will consume the world!"

Joy pushes herself off the ground and coughs terribly, "Fuck…*pant* you Dmitri."

Oz decides he should probably step in at this point and keep this cannibal curse thing from happening. Oz steps between the witches and the vampire with no hesitation.

"Look, I can see you're super set on this whole, curse the world and let it fall into calamity thing, but I promise you that cannibalism is much worse than it sounds," Oz tries to act reasonable while focusing at looking at Dmitri's eyes, and only his eyes, "Can't you just give whatever you stole from the Coven back?"

Dmitri ignores everything Oz just said, "You! The one who made fun of my looks! You dare to stand me, after I defeated your magical allies and you insulted me!"

Oz looks a little guilty, "I-I didn't really mean to insult you. I was just kinds surprised that you-"

"Enough excuses!" Dmitri rushes at Oz, "Your insolence will cost you dearly!"

The super human speed that the Coven had a hard time dealing with is barely noticable to Oz, who sidesteps and dodges with practiced ease. 

Oz continues to try and end things without fighting, "Look, I know you must have something against the Coven, but you really need to think about this whole world ending cannibalism thing. People eating people, monsters eating monsters. It wouldn't be pretty."

Dmitri isn't listening as he desperately tries to take Oz down, "Why won't you just stand still!?"

Oz tries a different tactic, "You said you like being great and powerful right? Well, how can you be great and powerful if no one else is around to see it?"

Dmitri stops for a split second before continuing his assault, "That matters not! Giving you the Angel's blood would be admitting defeat, and I will never submit to the side of good!"

Oz soaks that information in as he dodges another set of kicks and punches, "So you're saying you won't give me the Angel's blood because that would be willingly admitting the Coven wins?"

"Exactly! I will never lower myself down to groveling at their- ack!" In one swift motion, Oz interrupts Dmitri by twisting his arm behind his back, sweeping his feet out from under him, and pushing him to the ground.

"There you go. I actually beat you," Oz says while pinning Dmitri's other hand, "Now you can hand over the Angel's blood without saying you were helping the Coven. You keep your pride and I don't have to watch people feast on each other. It's a win win situation."

"Yes! Give him the Angel's blood!" Oz looks up to see that Joy, Faith, and Hope have recovered from their injuries enough to help each other up, "Hurry up! We need to complete the spell before noon!"

Dmitri grumbles loudly and Oz considers it as him agreeing. Oz lets go of Dmitri's hands and the vampire reaches into his cloak before handing Oz a red artisanal bottle. With a quick glance at the Coven, Oz tosses them the bottle and Joy catches it before they quickly start spray painting some type of symbols into the grass while muttering.

Instead of watching them complete a curse removal ritual, of which he has already seen multiple of in his long life, Oz turns back to Dmitri. The vampire on the ground is scowling at the Coven as they speak ancient incantations about mutilated half eaten corpses. Oz still keeps his eyes trained on Dmitri's face in the hopes of ignoring his bare chest as he offers him a hand up.

Dmitri's gaze flips from the Coven to Oz in a matter of seconds as he eyes offered hand suspiciously, "What are you trying to pull?"

Oz tilts his head to the side in confusion, "N-Nothing? I just thought you might want some help up. Unless you wanted to stay on the ground?"

"You-! I don't need any help standing up!" Dmitri growls.

"Well, y-yeah I know that. I thought you'd just want some," Oz starts to retract his hand, "I was just trying to be nice."

In a split second decision, Dmitri grabs Oz's retreating hand. Oz is a bit surprised, but tugs the vampire up to his feet anyways. 

Oz lets go of Dmitri's hand and immediately rubs the back of his neck nervously, "Hey, I just wanted to say sorry about the whole shirt thing earlier. I just didn't expect to walk in on the Covin and a shirtless guy fighting. I'm literally friends with a ghost that flashes people for 'the lolz.' Your shirt thing isn't that bad."

Dmitri looks taken aback and flustered at what he considers a compliment. Innuendos and dirty flirting he can handle, but an honest to god apology and compliment make the vampire a blushing mess. Meanwhile in the 8th circle of Hell, Damien gets the sudden urge to kill somebody very violently.

Oz turns away from Dmitri to watch the Coven finish up the last bit of their chanting. The white symbols they put on the ground glow red as Hope pours the Angel's blood and the clouds in the sky swirl in a vortex. A few last words are said, and very anticlimactically, the sky clears and the symbols on the ground just pop out of existence.

The three witches of the Coven start cheering and when Oz turns back to Dimitri, he's gone. Oz glances around but doesn't see the vampire. With a dismissive shrug at the disappearance, Oz walks up to the happy Coven that tugs him into a group hug.

"That was amazing Oz," Joy compliments.

"You showed an intimate understanding in hand to hand combat," Faith nods along.

"Yeah! You totally saved the world as we know it!" Hope adds.

"I-It was nothing," Oz shakes his head, "I-I'm sure you guys would have figured something out if I wasn't here."

"Maybe, but you _were_ here," The Coven replies as a whole.

Oz shakes his head and starts to protest again, but Joy cuts him off, "I think your efforts qualify you as an ally to the Coven! If we ever need support in defeating the big bad of the season, we'll ask for your help!"

"T-Thank you?" Oz replies confused, "Y-You really don't need to do that though. I'd be happy with you just lowering the barrier keeping me from going home."

"Tha barrier?" Hope asks.

"The one we put up to keep Dmitri trapped," Faith explains.

Hope's eyes light up in realization as Joy frowns at Oz, "The barrier spell only lasts ten minutes. It's already been down for a little while. You can go ahead and leave, but we're still considering you an ally to the Coven."

"Alright then," Oz sighs, "I've gotta get going now. My roommate was expecting me back at least thirty minutes ago. Although she's probably still too focused on writing fanfic about her favorite shows to care."

"Farewell then," The Coven replies in sync, "Hopefully we'll see you again in good fortune."

Oz waves goodbye back before sinking in his shadow quickly and then reappearing at his apartment. Oz gets about two seconds to relax before his eccentric roommate tackles him to the ground.

"OZ! You traitor! You absolute jerk!" Zoe screams from on top of Oz, "How dare you be a part of my favorite TV show without telling me!"

"W-What?! I have no idea what you're talking about Zoe!" Oz slips through his own shadow yet again and lets Zoe hit the ground as he appears standing above her.

Zoe doesn't waste a second and scrambles to get back up. She grabs Oz's shoulders and starts shaking him with all her strength, which is a lot by the way.

"Zoe! Stop shaking me and explain what's going on!" Oz begs as his head starts hurting from the movement.

"Like you don't already know!" Zoe stops shaking Oz and crosses her arms.

"I don't Zoe! You can't just tackle somebody randomly and expect them to know why you did it!" Oz exclaims.

Zoe's glare gets a tiny bit less potent, "...Do you seriously not know what I'm talking about?"

"No!" Oz shouts.

"Hmph," Zoe huffs, "You got named an ally of the Covin which means you might be their new supernatural ally for the season! When school started back up I was totally gonna get in with their group so I could be in the running! Then you went and impressed them with your stupid fighting skills! You didn't even do anything cool!"

Oz is confused, "How do you know about me helping the Covin and then naming me an 'ally' to them in the future?"

"They're lives are a TV show! Keep up with the program Oz! Their magical camera crew got you on screen!" Zoe fumes, "The worst part is that I can't even get angry because you were actually awesome despite not using any magic! Everyone's talking about how they hope you show up in more episodes because your sweet, oblivious, yet badass behavior is refreshing in the Coven's usually angst filled adventures!"

Oz somehow manages to skip over the fact that the Coven somehow have a TV show about them and Oz didn't know in favor of getting flustered, "I didn't do anything! I just tossed joy the Angel's blood! Why does that make me sweet, oblivious, and badass?!"

"Omg Oz! That right there is why!" Zoe groans and covers her face, "You've already got people making fanart of you and shippers posting about how Ozmitri is gonna be cannon at the end of the show! Which they don't even know you so they don't know that you're already taken and that-"

"Ozmitri?" Oz asks dumbfounded.

"Yeah! That little stunt you pulled with the helping Dmitri up thing has got the shippers in an uproar! Which I can understand because Dmitri literally looked ready to pass out from blushing to hard after you talked."

"What?! I just said his habit of not wearing a shirt wasn't terrible!" Oz shouts.

"I know! I tried to tell the fandom that, but apparently Dmitri hasn't blushed since the third season when he first met Hope and admitted he might have a crush on her. He eventually found out it was just the leftover magic from her second and evil incarnation, but the evidence stays the same!" Zoe's very worked up, "Now you've got both the Interdimensional Prince and Dmitri crushing on you! Who's next Oz? Who's next?!"

"The Interdimensional Prince has a crush on me?!" Oz yelps, "When did that happen?!"

"Oh I don't know! Probably when you saved him from dying alone in my stomach and he gave you googly eyes and then winked at you!" Zoe shouts louder.

"That can't be true!" Oz protests, "There's no way you can say they have a crush on me from one interaction!"

"Of course I can!" Zoe raises her voice, "I can tell whenever there's chemistry with anybody with one look! Don't even challenge me on that!"

"BUT I DON'T LIKE HIM!" Oz shouts louder.

"I KNOW!" Zoe throws her arms in the air and the windows tremble a little.

**"I DON'T LIKE DMITRI EITHER!"** Oz's voice gets a little distorted as his emotions take control over his logical thinking.

**"I KNOW!"** The people in Canada wonder what that weird sound in the distance is.

**"** I L **i** _k_ **_E_ ** D _A_ **mi** _e_ N!" Oz's horrific mouth comes into view as his volume lowers to that of normal speech. He doesn't even notice.

" **I-** wait," Zoe's eyes light up and she bounces in place, all frustration forgotten, "What did you just say Oz?! What did you just say?!"

Oz doesn't hear Zoe, he's too busy in his own bubble of anxiety, " ~~W **h** _Y_ wOuld S o **m** A _n_ **y** p _oE_ p **Le e** ven liKe me?! IT' s N _o_ **_T li_ ** kE i h **A** **_v_ ** e AnY **r** E _de_ em **i** N g QU **AL** _iTi_ e s !" ~~

"Hey! That's not-" Zoe gets cut off by Oz once again as he gets even more worked up.

**"Ẉ̸̧͖̞̈͊̔̃h̷̠̍̈́͗͘å̶̼͚̇͜t̸̜̒ ̴̦̜̔̏̽ị̵̞̒͗f̴̯̍̈́ ̴̡̛̤̲͌̏́t̵̠̳̏͝ĥ̴̡̲̱̓͌ͅě̸̹̪̗͐̎ ̵̬̅͝b̸̲̄̉o̵̧̫̪̍͒t̵̡͂̄h̴̤̗͔͆̽̅͠ ̸͕̻̼͖̚o̷̝͇̐̔f̴̪͍̣̬͊̈́̕ ̸̻̗̜̰̓̒͒̕t̶̨̙̺̳͌͊̃h̴͕͆̍͝͝e̵̛̛͍̫͂̍͜ṃ̵̮̟̗͊ ̸̹̲̭́̎̇ś̶̩ţ̶̤̼͒͂̐͠a̷͕͈͐̀ȓ̷̢͊̾̚t̸͔̝͆̊ ̵̧̪̼͚̚h̷̛̙a̷̧͚͕͚̽n̴̖͍͂g̵̤͔̯͐̒̕ͅi̶̧̐ņ̸͇̤̔̅̑̕͜g̴̨̯̏̈̂̚ͅͅ ̸͚̑̇a̸̺̻̫̅r̶̪̗͑̈́̽̚o̴̬̦̤͠ư̸̟̫͓̅̉͘n̵͓̹͔̥͗d̷̬̣̑ ̶̹̇m̴͔̘̦͉̈́e̶͇̤͋̍͑ ̸̝̩̱̾w̵̧͈͓̭͂̄͝ḧ̴̜̺̺̗̆̃ḙ̸̛͊͗͜n̷̖̳̅̔ ̵̟̎D̷̺͖͉͋͑͜a̷̟͑m̷̛̪̼͉͖ḭ̶͝e̷̛̲͋̕ņ̶̤̈́̓̆̐'̸͍̘͂͜s̶̼̹̜̬̆̈͠ ̴̝͗a̵̛̭̘̩͗̓̇r̸̨̫̮̃̅̃̇o̶̩͍̔u̴͍͗̆͑n̵͙̬̊̔̽d̵̼̰̯̑͑̉͗ ̴͎͂͝a̶̧̼͉͇͑̃̊ñ̵͈̥̩̾̅ͅd̴̰̰͔̅͋̐͝ ̴̇͝ͅḥ̵̦̮̯̓̍e̴̛̺͛ ̷͍̳͍͌̓̒͜ț̷̔̇̒h̴͕̠i̸͓̭̙̔̌͘ͅñ̵̝͠k̶̺̓͘ŝ̴̮͗͘ ̶̧͌̐Ĭ̶͇̥'̵̢̥͕̈̿͘m̴̧̑̎͠ ̵̮͋̾ṡ̴̨͚̩̣̾̎͝o̸̹̣͐̍m̷̨̰̔͑ȩ̶̠̓͝͝ ̴̫̻͔́͛̀͂t̵̙͝y̸̥̪͝p̸̨̦̭̳̀͝e̷̢͎͚͓̾̿ ̸̝́̾̃͝o̴̰̮̥͜f̸̨̬̪̰̌̄̉͝ ̵̮̜̍j̶̻͖̓̋͛ę̷̦̞̼͊r̵̬̼͐̏̇͝k̶̝̳̲̰͗ ̶̣͔̇̌̂w̶̫̝͔̗̓̾h̶̰̃͒͗͝ò̴̗̫̥̑͊̈ ̶̺̔͝g̸̢̜̃̚̕̕e̷̝̓̃t̴͇̼̿͑̚s̸̰͈͒̐̇͝ ̵͍͇̑̆̚p̵̦̈́ȩ̶͖̦͆̋̆͠ô̷̡̥̞̓͘p̴̢̪̳̅͝l̴̼̅̇̓̌ḙ̷̦̑ ̸̫̌̊́t̴̨̖̱̞̋̚o̵͓̗͝ ̵̭͍̜͝ͅl̷̜̖̘͊̌ͅi̵̖̪̥̇̃k̵͈̄͑͝ẽ̸̥̳̳̅ ̷̜̱͕͊t̴̞̆̄͛͜h̸̡̡̺̎̔̔̋ę̶̢̘̇̂̈́͝m̸̖̭̄̏̈͝ ̴̟̎j̵̨͖̝̬̓̒̕u̴̪͔̲̙̓ṣ̵͔͕̀̔t̴̼̫̎̚͘͜ ̷̮̇͌͘̕t̶̼̀o̸̧͍͋͆ ̵̫̺̻̩̈́̌i̵̟̥̕g̷̖̠̥̕ͅn̴̳͓͙̑̊͛ò̶̖̒͒͝r̷͖̯̠͛ͅẻ̴̯ ̸̨̯͐̽ṯ̸̐̔ḧ̸̹e̴̼͆̈́m̵̰̅͌͘!̵̨̬̻̊̚̕ ̸̩̀Ọ̶̡͎̞̌̍́r̵̤͇̅͘͝ ̴̩̠͖͍͒w̷̥̳̰̖̋́͋h̶̠̖̿͂a̶̩̲̫̽̀̋t̵͓̖͇̑̃̾̕ ̴͎̪̓ȋ̵̱̥f̴͎̮̺̭̋ ̶̡̭̮̌̉ŏ̴̘̙̉́n̸̟̉͒ȩ̷̘̖̼͂̄ ̴̞̲͋̀̋ö̴̭̻̖̣́͂͂͐f̶̛̰̺̋͠ ̷̡͇̜̀̽̅t̶͈̲͕̕h̶̢̧̹̟͐̆͑̕ë̵̡̫̗́̾̐m̵͚͕̤̕͜ ̸͚̀͝ā̷̻̻̈́̈́s̵͎̈́̎̅k̸̥̼͝s̵̞̠̑̑͋ ̷̮̐̊m̶̡̥̳̟̽ḝ̶͇̾͠ ̷̢̲̣̋̄͜o̸͇͈͕͚͂͒̃̒ṳ̵̪̯͇̈́t̵̫͙̪͉͛̄̅?̴̳̘̥̑̓̊!̸͈̿̈́ ̸̠̗̥̱͛I̴̧̺̔̃̿͘'̵̻͈̓m̸̹͌ ̵̢̩͖͂̌͝t̸͉͋̇̅e̵͙͋r̴̦͊̀͗r̴̥̹̝̤̎͌̍͝i̵͈͠b̸̻̯̃̂͂͜͝l̶̦̻͈͗̈͝e̷̤̼̠̐ ̶̡̹̻̪͒͊̕ṳ̶̰̅ń̴̛͖̮́͌d̴̗̎e̴̡̝̣͛r̸̡̛͒ ̵̧̛͎͙̓͑̈n̸͍̖̐̂ő̴͚̈́̈́ř̵̥̜̊̈́̍m̵̦̑̄ă̶͉̱͊̇l̵͓̮͊̒̈ ̶̺͈̪̟̅̕s̷̩͚͌ǒ̴͚̙͔c̸͜͝ỉ̴̖̄̓a̵͕͆l̴͍̳̻̖͋̀ ̸̻̺͛̈̿c̷͈͍̞͕͒̋̑ṷ̸͍̟̈͛̌ẹ̴͌s̵̟͂̈́̆̓ ̵̢̳̱̃̈̇͝ͅÌ̶̱ ̷̡͍̩̯̅̔d̵͍͑̈́̐̚o̵͖͈͌̂n̵̢̬̲̮͆̌'̸͉͔̹̾̑t̴͎̃ ̴̳̑ţ̷̭͈͘͠ḧ̶͍̺̱́ǐ̶͚̺̄̇̚n̸̨̖̘̏̊͌k̸͎͔̔̾ ̴̜̪̥̂͋̿̓I̶̯͘ ̷̬͎̹̰̑͋̃͠c̵̟̰̬̍̽͌̒͜o̴͎̝͎̒̆͛ṻ̶̡́l̸̰͉͕̂d̷͈̓̑̈́ ̷͇̟̆͊͌͂w̵̜̗͌o̵̫̰̭̽͌̄͝u̷͍̘̓ḷ̴͔̠͘d̵͉̓ ̵͈͖̭͋̈́̚͘b̷̬̱̈̿ë̵͇͉͉́̄̍̾ ̷͚͌̂͝a̵̻̖͂̋͘͝b̶̻͗̕l̵̼̹̭͈̚e̶̱̅̐ ̸̲̩̣͎̃ẗ̶͓̝͈̬́̕ő̸̳̩̼͊͘͝ ̶̛̤͓̎̽̏ṙ̴̺͖̀̓̅e̷̤̺̻̅j̵̩̞̬̰̎ȩ̸̣̞̪͋č̵̖̥̬̠͋t̶̞͋̐͜ ̸̻̬͉̇͂̕š̴̡ơ̵̚͜m̴̨̜̀͐ę̷̹͇́̾̍͘b̶̡̲̝̲̌ỏ̴̹̪̩͍͌͊ḋ̸̼̰̝̔̿̔y̸̡̭͐̌ ̴̰͔̳̾̉͗̅w̶̟̫̣̺̾̒í̶̪̩t̴̼̭͒̄̌h̴̢̞͈̲̏̅o̴͙̿̑u̶͓̯̚ţ̵̟͝ ̶̛̹͙͎͍͗͋t̷̳͐͛͌͘o̵̪̍̑ț̶͖̽̀a̵̲̹̦͝l̵͖̗̩͑̾̓l̸͚̱̟̉̏͝y̸̨̬̋ ̸̥͉̝̹̊͂̿è̶͓̬m̵̛̙̽̅̏͜b̴̞̍͑̓a̷̳̒̽̓r̶̯͇͓͑͒͂ṛ̵̘̞̆͝à̷͙ͅş̸̣͈̐͋s̴͔̺̏į̴͇̄̇n̸̖̤͛͊͑̚g̶̘͖̣̬̀ ̴́̏͜m̶̟̮̞̿̊̓͝y̸͍̖̞̰͋̆̍͠s̴̟̰̔͛̈́̑e̴͓̜̦͈͒͘͝ľ̵̻̜̳̽ͅf̷͓͖̲́͑͝͝ ̶̜͕͑̋͝a̶͎̤͇̓͒̿n̶̝̟̄̌̂̈́ͅd̸̠́̋ h̵̟̬̒͛̚e̶̙͖̳͌ ̸̌̒͜ͅt̵̒͜ͅḩ̷̖̕͜͠i̴̡͍̽̏n̸̦͛̿k̵͚̉͒ṩ̴̹͊ ̵̡͓́̽͊Ḯ̵̩͚̕'̴̡̞̟̑̃̇m̷̜̟̄ͅ ̵͈͙̎a̴̡̰̝͂̽̒n̸̡͛ ̴̧͙̉͆͛i̵̬̮̔̅͘d̶͈̬͚͌ḭ̶̈̓͑o̴̭͙̝̍͗͗t̸̫͎̩̅̕.̴̺̽̆̾ ̶̘̗̬͒̇W̷̧̩̖̕h̷̦̮͕̽̇̕a̵̻̱̎t̸͎͊̒ ̵̣̣̒ị̵̹͌̈f̶̣͖̌̕ ̶̨̌D̶̳͠a̴̜̱͚͛m̶̡̛ị̶̛̼͊e̸̠͐̌͒͜ń̶̪̺ ̸̻̩͙͑̎ą̵̙̉c̴̭̬͙̈́̀ţ̵̇̑̑ṵ̵͚̪̾a̵̖̰͑͆l̴̘̀̃l̷̼̺̭̚y̵̬̓͑̓ ̷͇̲̀̅̾l̶̼̀͛̓į̴̣͇̉̍k̸̼͆̈́̃e̸͉̽̈̌s̷͙͐͗ ̸̥͇̭̔̔͝ǒ̴̱̓̐n̷̮̹̘̈e̵̙̤̿ ̵͚̹̐o̸̞͂ͅf̶̞̏̓͒ ̵͕̪͝ť̷͉̝͕ḣ̴͖̤̭̓̌ẽ̷̛̦m̴̡̝͂ ̵͉͔͐̔̈ả̸̳̹̮͑͑n̷̼͛̑͘ď̵͖̭͜ ̶̥̫̎t̴̗̪͇͂̂̂h̶͈̲̳̒͠ẹ̴̫̈͆ͅn̸̙͠ ̵̛̤̐ĥ̴̘̬ͅe̸̲̣͊̋ ̵̭͖͛͐͂͜s̶̖̘͓̈́̎ẗ̶̥͍͎́̋ã̴̙̳̈́͂r̸͔̎̅͜t̷̻͇͋ͅs̶̰͉̜͗̾ ̶̗̆̆̑ḧ̵̥̙̳å̵̦̂t̵̬͍̚ì̶̙̬ͅn̶̛̞̰̊͋ǧ̸͖̪̠̈ ̶̭̣̾m̶̟̐ẻ̷̝̇̕ ̵̹͂̆b̷̛̺̳̈e̸̙̞̒̒̌c̸̙̳̣̽̎a̵̳̓ȗ̵̧͝s̸͕̺̕e̶͓̻̜̓͛̄ ̷̠̜̼̔̏o̶̥͉͙͌̄f̷̫͂ ̸̹͋͘͠t̴͑̀͂͜h̷̠̲͗͝e̴͈͚̣͂̽͝ȋ̶̹̍͋ṟ̵͂̋̍ ̵͇̟͑c̷̨ŕ̶̭̙̊ụ̶͇ș̴̯͎͆h̸̡͎̍̎e̶͇̓́s̴̡͇̥̐͝.̸̬̦̑̆ ̵̒ͅO̷͚̰̖͑h̸̢̳͎͐͠ ̸̖͋͌̾ǧ̴̯͕̹̀o̵̠̳͖̔̇d̵̢͎́,̸͚͂ ̶͎͉̪̋̈́͝ẁ̵̘h̴̝̒̾ẫ̷̹͇̰̕t̸̨̼̐͑ ̵̻͌̇̿ȉ̵̝̮̖͠f̴̧̆ ̵̢͔̣̅I̶̟͈̠̋̅͠ ̵̨̈̒͠ḏ̶̒̑͝ó̵̞̻̪̐ ̵̼͍̓̐s̶̨̔̿o̷̘͗̋m̶̪͆̚e̶̘̻̓ť̵͔̏̈́ḧ̸̬́͆i̷͉̹̔̋n̸̼̩͖͐̾g̸̜̺̪̀͛ ̸̮̉̾s̸̳̉̊̕ͅt̴̼̼̂͘ụ̷̀̋͝p̶̪̤͊́̕ͅi̵̞͚̯͐͆ḏ̸̅̽̕ ̷͓̯̍̕͝å̸̼̔͠n̴͇͒d̶͙̱̪͂̓̈́ ̴͕̤̳̊̕D̶͎̊͌ͅa̶̯͕̫̿̚ṁ̴̧͉͓̀͆i̵̭̗͘e̵̤̙͙͌̈̊n̴̯̪̄ ̴̧͛̈́s̵̰̔t̴̙̒͋ã̵͚̚ŗ̷͙̂̂t̵̤͖̮̅̏͑s̶̛̟̘̫̆͝ ̷̳̩͝t̵̢̼̙̃̈́ǫ̶̨̑̐̍ ̶͓͝h̸̗͛̃a̶͔͌̍t̸͚̖̏͂̕s̶͕̜̍ ̵̞͙̘͗̃͝m̷͖͑͜e̸̪̻͠ ̷̜͒̿ä̵̱̟͈́̄͝n̶͈̰͈̓̕͝d̷̘͍̄̕ͅ ̵̮͌͒ͅt̶͖̳͆͌̚h̸̡̬̬̾̄͌e̶̟̓ņ̵̂̆ ̴̤̜͛̉̕h̶͊͗͜e̴̟͓̠̅ ̵̲͕͈̃͠͝s̷̼̿ẗ̴̰̇͌a̷͙̜̻͒͌r̴̦̈́͜t̴̤̰̲̂́s̷̝̳͋̃̀ ̴̼̆͐͛t̷̼̎̓ö̴̼̬͠ ̷̣̿͗͆ä̷̖̻̩́̇̒ṽ̷̖̠̪̎̕o̵̘̖̹͠i̷̜͇̿d̵͎̻̀ ̴̗̦͚̽̀m̸̠̝̬̉̒e̴̡̻̮̚!̷͖̤͛̉ ̷̗͕͍̍Ǐ̸̬̻͉ ̷̼̣̄d̸̢̡̃́͝ȍ̴̢̎̉n̵͍̯̞̿'̵͕̮̿̊ṭ̵̿́̊ ̸̟̏̏͌ṫ̵͎̟̙̈́̌h̵̭̏̕í̷̫̜̂́n̶̨̬̖̾̓͝k̴̞̑͆͘ ̸̻̋͋Ḯ̸͓̭̦͝ ̸̧͖̥̏̾̍c̵̛̺o̵͍̯͝ů̴͓͛l̴̯̿̾͝d̶̻̲̱̄ ̷̡̐͘͝h̴̺̾ḁ̵̤̅ņ̶͓̪̑͆͘ḑ̷̰̾̓̾ͅḷ̶͖͓͛͂̄e̷̢̤̋-̵͋̚"**

Even Zoe doesn't understand what Oz is saying at this point. However, she does know it's probably a bunch of stupid crap that proves how much of an idiot he is.

" **OZ!"** Zoe shouts just as loud as earlier.

Zoe's shout seems to finally break Oz out of his panic induced spiel and stares at her. Zoe grabs her roommate, friend, and savior and locks him into a hug.

"You're an absolute idiot. Which is perfect because Damien is also an absolute idiot," Zoe laughs, "Dmitri and the Interdimensional Prince are absolutely braindead though, because they think they could possibly come between the two of you. If you were to go down to Hell right now and literally propose, I bet Damien would actually marry you with no regret."

Oz slowly embraces Zoe back before relaxing, "Thanks Zoe."

They stay like that for a couple of minutes before they both step back. Zoe takes her humanoid hand and flicks Oz in the head.

"Ow! What was that for?" Oz rubs his forehead.

"For thinking all that stupid stuff earlier," Zoe crosses her arms, "And for not telling me you figured out you had a crush!"

Oz turns red, "You're not going to tell-"

"Oz," Zoe cuts him off, "I've known you were head over heels for Damien since the day you bought my totem from Valerie. If I haven't told anybody by now, why would I."

Oz looks relieved, but his blush still doesn't disappear, "So what are we going to do-"

"You're going to take your mind off of whatever stupid stuff about it's sayin about the Interdimensional Prince and Dmitri by telling me about every reason you like Damien."

"What?! Why would I do that?!" Oz cries out.

"Because I wanna hear!" Zoe whines, "And this is my revenge for not hearing about it until now! I want at least thirty five reasons, more would be better though!"

"I'm not- that's not-" Oz is getting more and more red.

"Stop stammering and tell me reasons before I start giving you examples of what I think you like," Zoe frowns.

Oz tries to think of a way out of this when he remembers something. He pulls out the bags of snacks Oz was originally supposed to be getting and shoves them to Zoe.

"Hey! Remember those snacks you wanted! I got those for you!"

Zoe seems elated by the treats and she doesn't respond just long enough to give Oz false hope, "These are great! I can eat them while we talk!"

Oz sighs in defeat. At least he tried. The last non-Damien related thought Oz is allowed to have for the next two hours is that he's never going on a morning walk again.


	38. Jesus, how many parties are there going to be in this story?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damien tightens his grip around Oz's waist and pulls him flush against his chest, "Hell yeah I do."
> 
> "D-Dames-" Oz tries, "I've g-got to go pick up Zoe and-"
> 
> "I figure this is a dream," Damien interrupts, "So I don't fucking plan on wasting it."

"What do you mean she decided it's tonight and she wants us there thirty minutes?!" Oz says in shock.

"It means exactly what I said dork," Damien rolls his eyes, "The school's set to be re-built by the end of the week and Polly decided that meant she needed to go to fucking town and get the party set up by tonight."

When Damien showed up at Oz's door while Zoe locked herself in her room to write, Oz expected it to be to hang out. Oz did not expect his crush/friend to tell him that Polly's decided to host her 'New Student's Party' in less than two hours the moment they sat down in the living room.

"By the end of the week?!" Oz exclaims, "I was just there a few days ago. How in the world is it almost done when the amphitheatre barely just got done?"

"Magic and priorities," Damien shrugs, "Well anyways, back to the actual topic. Polly set the party for tonight at like seven."

"You know, if it was anyone other than Polly, I would say this is crazy," Oz deadpans, "But knowing her, she could start a party in half that time."

"Pft, the only reason I think she isn't doing it in half the time is because she had to hack the school registry to find out who's dropping into the school for second term," Damien scoffs.

"There's more than just Zoe?" Oz asks.

"Apparently," Damien scowls, "Polly said that there's these other two monsters named Dmitri and Blobert. She's also including Calculester on the new student list for the bullshit reason that 'he got a new body so he's practically a new person.'"

Oz laughs as Damien tries to impersonate Polly, "Don't ever let her see you do that Dames. She will come unglued and try to haunt you."

"I'd like to see her try," Damien snarls, "That bitch is about as scary as casper the friendly ghost."

Oz thinks over the information Damien just gave him and comes to a realization, "Wait, you said there was some guy named Dmitri enrolling in school?"

Damien raises an eyebrow at his friend, "Yeah, why?"

"Oh, I just met him when I was on a snack run for Zoe a couple days ago," Oz sighs.

"Really?" Damien looks relatively interested, "Did you end up fighting another cyclops with a broken bottle neck?"

Oz huffs in amusement, "Not exactly."

"What does that even mean?" Damien looks amused.

"Well, I was walking back home when a literal magic barrier blocked me from going home," Oz starts.

"Of course that would happen to you," Damien sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"I already know I have terrible luck Damien, no need to rub it in," Oz laughs before continuing, "Back to what I was saying. I figured out that the barrier blocking me was the same one that the Coven uses all the time, and decided that the shouting in the woods was probably them."

"When isn't it those annoying bitches," Damien scoffs, "They're always causing some problems for somebody."

Oz nods in agreement before continuing, "Well, I walked through the woods and sure enough, it was the Coven. After almost getting squashed by a falling tree, I saw that they were fighting this vampire that did not have a  _ shirt _ ."

Damien's eyes narrow a little and he seems much more invested in the story when this point is brought up, "He didn't have a shirt?"

"No! So obviously I looked away and just assumed that he wasn't wearing a shirt because it got torn off or something during his fight with the Coven," Oz continues explaining, "Then, all of a sudden they all stop and just start monologuing about how they're going to defeat the other. That's the part where I found out the vampire's name was Dmitri, but I didn't really care. I just wanted to head home and get Zoe her snacks before she got cranky, so I got all they're attention and I may or may not have accidentally insulted Dmitri."

"You insulted someone?" Damien teases, "I didn't think you had it in you."

"Well, I didn't mean to insult him!" Oz protests, "It just kinda happened!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Damien smiles, "Just keep telling me about how you hung out with a shirtless vampire a few days ago."

Oz glares at Damien without any true irritation behind his gaze, "Well, after I accidentally insulted him. He beat up the Covin and was about to let the world turn cannibalistic. Considering cannibalism is one of my least favorite things, I stepped in and fought him before so the Covin could stop whatever spell, curse, thing that was about to be put in place. After it was all over I apologized and then we split ways."

"Really? That's how you met the new student?!" Damien starts laughing, "You insulted him, fought him, apologized, then just fucking left?!"

Oz looks embarrassed, "Yes?"

"Hahahaha!" Damien doubles over laughing, "Only you could do all that and still end up on good terms! I don't even know why I'm surprised anymore."

Oz pouts and punches Damien playfully, "Don't tease me! It's not my fault I get into terrible scenarios and don't like making enemies!"

"Yeah, sure, it's not like you don't get into most those situations because of your fucking awkwardness," Damien smirks.

"For your information, almost every time I get into trouble it's because you've done something to anger the police, or a gang, o-or some wizard with a body count!" Oz crosses his arms.

"Yeah, I guess that's fair enough," Damien huffs, "I guess we're both trouble magnets."

"I can agree with that," Oz nods before growing serious, "Now I know you didn't show up just to tell me there's a party and some new kids at Spooky High. If that was the case you'd let me know about the party five minutes before I needed to be there and then tell me about the new kids when I got there, so what's actually on your mind?"

"Well, if you remember, somebody let it slip that they were a fucking bringer of chaos and the embodiment of fear itself a couple days ago," Damien sinks into his seat with a frown, "I'm just coming over to make sure that person has an idea of what they're going to say to their friends and doesn't happen to pass out like an idiot."

Oz's good mood fades a little, "I was just going to tell them the same thing I told you. M-Maybe a little less."

"What do you mean a little less?" Damien raises an eyebrow.

"I don't really want to tell them the bit about how I accidentally killed about forty thousand demons in one go," Oz sinks deeper in his seat, "And the bit about how I can see everyone's deepest fears and anxieties just by being near them."

While Damien is extremely happy Oz only trusts him with that information, he also knows the dork is only going to stress himself out more if he doesn't tell his other lame friends now. Swallowing his pride, Damien admits that Oz probably needs more support than him when it comes to the whole anxiety and self-loathing.

"Oz, you're roommate is literally the destined destroyer of the universe and attempted to kill every single one of us, and Polly invited her out for frozen yogurt" Damien tries, "Do you seriously think that you being the incarnation of fear and seeing everyone else's fears is going to put them off? Hell, Vera will probably try to bribe you into giving her a list of everybody's weaknesses."

"Yeah, but-" 

Damien cuts Oz off, "No buts. There is literally nothing you have to be nervous about. Nobody's going to treat you differently, and if they do, I'll send them to an early fucking grave when I pound their noses into their goddamn-"

"Okay! I get it Dames! I get it!" Oz is back to laughing and Damien listens to the sound with warmth in his chest, knowing he's the one who caused it.

"You better get it, because I'm not above beating some sense into you too," Damien tries to sound intimidating, but he can't keep from smiling.

"Sure you would," Oz rolls his eyes cheekily.

"Fucking hell, why am I the only one who has to deal with you're sass?! It's so unfair," Damien tries to act annoyed, but fails even more when he instinctively wraps an arm around Oz's shoulder and tugs him closer.

Damien is too busy laughing to notice Oz turn beat red against him in a gay panic, and Oz is too busy panicking to notice Zoe peak out of the hallway and snap a picture before pocketing her phone and walking into the living room. 

"Hey Oz!" Zoe says with a goofy smile as both monsters quickly look in her direction, "Oh, sorry. Was I… interrupting something?"

The little vixen. Oz's face grows even brighter. Zoe knows exactly what she's doing and sends him a far too innocent smile for whatever thoughts are going through her head. When Zoe notices Oz's face, her grin turns  ~~borderline threatening~~ a tiny bit mischievous. 

"H-Hey, Zoe," Oz greets, "You're fine. D-Damien and I were just chatting."

Damien eyes Ozzie's roommate warily. He didn't like the way she was looking at Oz at all. Unconsciously, Damien's tail wraps around Oz's thigh protectively and his arm tightens around Oz's shoulders. Zoe's gaze gets even darker with hidden intent, although her grin gets even bigger.

When Damien's tail and arm wrap around Oz in a vice grip, the incarnation of fear is stuck between turning a shade of red invisible to the plain eye and horror at the conversation Zoe's going to have with him later. Despite being perfectly happy where he's at, Oz decides to save his future self some stress and detach himself from Damien.

As Oz tries to move away, Damien's arm and tail tightens minisculely before releasing him. Almost like the demon was hesitant to let go. Oz's breath hitches at the thought, but he quickly dismisses the idea as wistful thinking.

Damien doesn't look away from Zoe for a moment as he reluctantly lets go of Oz. Well, he let go of Oz with his arm. Damien's tail stays firmly in place. As Zoe looks up at Damien with a smirk and a twinkle in her eyes, the demon doesn't know if he should relax or feel even more on edge. His heart makes the decision for him as a swell of possessiveness rings through his chest. It takes an impressive amount of self control not to tug Oz back into the crook of his shoulder.

Zoe, being the relationship master she is, notices Damien's internal conflict almost immediately and pegs it as jealousy. She has to cover her mouth to keep from giggling or pointing out how cute it is. Zoe can do all that stuff later when she has Oz alone and the teasing won't ruin her chances of going to MonsterCon VIP style.

"Oh, well as long as I'm not interrupting something," Zoe makes her way across the room and makes a point to sit next to Damien instead of Oz, "Did you come over to tell Oz about how Polly's party is tonight?"

Despite Zoe's sitting position, Damien does not relax in the slightest, "Yeah. What of it? Thought Ozzie would like to know."

"Of course!" Zoe smiles genuinely, "You know Oz hates showing up late to stuff. It was super nice of you to come over and tell him since Polly only just now sent out the text in the group chat! You must've found out straight from Polly and then immediately come over here to tell Oz!"

Damien scowls, "Yeah. So what if I did?"

"Oh, I wasn't trying to be rude or anything," Zoe gives another sugar sweet smile before shaking her hands in submission, "I just think that was super duper considerate of you, y'know?"

"Zoe…" Oz whines.

Zoe simply tilts her head in Oz's direction, "Actually, on the topic of a party, would you and Oz mind going there alone? Well, I mean, alone if you were planning on hitching a ride with Oz, Damien."

Oz is confused, "Are you not coming? You know it's specifically for you and the new students at Spooky High right?"

Zoe shakes her head and lowers her hands, "No, no, no. I'm definitely going. I'm just planning on walking."

"Walking? Why are you-" Oz stops when he realizes there's only one reason Zoe would want to walk, "Who is it?"

"Who's who Oz? You've got to be a little more specific," Zoe pretends to be naive.

"Who is it you plan on stalking to the party?" Oz switches from flustered to the tone of a scolding mother.

"Stalking?!" Zoe balks, "I have never ever, once in my, ever stalked someone! I prefer to call it... following from a distance to gain information."

"That's what stalking is dipshit," Damien snarls.

Oz sighs in exasperation, "What did I tell you about following people because you want to get them together in a romantic relationship?"

Zoe looks bashful all of a sudden, "You said that it's an invasion of privacy and that they could get a restraining order on me if I get caught."

"And…" Oz urges Zoe on.

"And that just because I think two people might get together, I shouldn't push them out of their comfort zones because that usually only makes things worse," Zoe suddenly looks back up, "But! Sometimes-"

"Zoe. What did I tell you?" Oz cuts her off.

Zoe sighs, and lowers her head again, "When some people get together after intense situations, it's considered an exception to the rule, but not the rule itself."

"Now what are you  _ not _ going to do today?" Oz asks.

"Stalk anybody," Zoe sighs.

"Good," Oz nods, "That means you're coming with us right? We should be leaving in about-"

Zoe's eyes light up suddenly and she cuts Oz off, "Actually, I've got a question about the whole stalking thing."

Oz stops and stares at Zoe for a solid thirty seconds, "...what is it?"

"If the person I want to watch gives me permission to be there does it still count as stalking?" Zoe curiously asks.

"...no. That would just be hanging out," Oz answers.

"Oh! Okay, then. Give me like two minutes," Zoe whips out her phone and starts to type frantically.

"Wait, who the hell are you trying to stalk?" Damien asks.

"Dahlia and Slayer. They're totally in love and I'm going to get them together," Zoe answers while she continues typing on her phone.

"Those two bitches?!" Damien says surprised.

"Wait, I never gave you Aaravi and Dahlia's number," Oz pipes up, ignoring Damien's display of shock, "How are you texting them?"

"They were both at the fro-yo place last week and may or may not have secretly copied their numbers off of each other's phones from across the room when I first got there," Zoe explains, "All I have to do to get them to let me tag along is tell Dahlia I have information on Damien and… oh hey! They've already said I'm allowed to come with them. Nice!"

Zoe jumps up to her feet and quickly heads to the door, "I'm gonna meet them around the corner down the street. Apparently, the warehouse the party is at is too far for mortals to walk to so I'm getting a ride with Dahlia and Slayer. Bye!"

"Wait Zoe! The actual party doesn't start until-" Oz stands up, but before he can even get his next words out, Zoe's out the door and probably down the street, "Damn it."

"You had to give her a lecture about stalking?" Damien raises an eyebrow. His tail finally letting go of Oz now that Zoe's gone, "Why in the world would you  _ have  _ to give someone a lecture on stalking?"

"Stalking is least concerning lecture I've had to give her," Oz shakes his head, "You're lucky you didn't have to see her shrines."

Damien startles, looking mildly concerned, "Shrines?"

Oz nods gravely, "I walked into her room this morning to bring her snacks and she was sacrificing a pigeon to Briam. The ship of Brian and Liam."

"That is the absolute creepiest fucking thing I've ever heard about," Damien scowls, "Do you think-"

"I am not going to let you see in Zoe's room so you can see," Oz deadpans.

"That's not what I was gonna ask!" Damien snarls.

"Oh, sorry. What were you going to ask then?"

Damien sinks into the couch and averts his gaze, grumbling under his breath while trying to think up a question that doesn't relate to seeing the shrine in Zoe's room. Oz raises an eyebrow that looks very amused by Damien's actions.

"Uhh- I was gonna ask- goddammit!" Damien throws his arms in the air, "Fine! I was gonna ask to see the fucking dead pidgeon shrine!"

"Knew it," Oz says cheekily.

"Shut up," Damien crosses his arms and hops off the couch to stand next to Oz, "Don't we have some party to get to or something? Polly wanted our help setting up right? That means I get to light stuff on fire."

"Does it?" Oz asks in concern.

"Polly gets me," Damien clarifies, "She always brings explosives to her parties."

"Wait, are you talking about fireworks Dames?" Oz snorts, "There's a difference between explosives and fireworks!"

"Yeah, and what's that?" Damien scoffs.

"Fireworks are made to be used recreationally and explosives are mostly illegal," Oz points out.

Damien sends Oz a toothy grin, "Exactly, there's no difference to me."

"God help us," Oz deadpans.

"God's dead. Your roommate killed him," Damien retorts snarkily.

"And you were complaining about my sass," Oz rolls his eyes without any actual annoyance, "Come on let's get going."

Damien laughs as he steps up to Oz, "Well, are you gonna-"

Not letting Damien finish, Oz uses a surprising amount of force to shove Damien and send him falling backwards. He disappears into his own shadow instantaneously. Oz sinks into his own shadow just as quickly right after.

Across the city, Damien and Oz appear outside a warehouse. Oz standing upright, and Damien on the ground

Oz offers the demon on the ground a hand, "Do you need some help up?"

Damien grabs Oz's hand without a moment's hesitation, "Screw you. I've seen you teleport people without knocking them to the ground before. I know you did that on purpose."

Oz plays dumb as Damien pulls hinself to his feet, "I don't know what you're talking about Dames. I got us here didn't I?"

"You cheeky little-" Damien gets cut off by a blur of blue.

"Yay! The love birds are here guys!" Polly flies up to Damien and Oz with a lopsided grin, "Aww! Look, they're holding hands!"

Damien and Oz look down to see that they're hands are in fact entwined from when Oz helped him up seconds earlier. Damien's the one to react first and jerks his hand away. Both monsters look flustered.

"We weren't fucking holding hands! Get your eyes checked Polly," Damien crosses his arms and looks away.

"Hmmm? Are you sure Damien?" Polly floats a little closer to inspect Damien's face, "Why are you turning pink if you weren't holding hands?"

"Polly," Oz jumps in to save Damien, "He's telling the truth. I just helped him up when I dumped him on the ground when we hopped."

Polly's face falls, "Dang! I thought I finally won the bet!"

Damien's blush disappears and his expression gets dark, "What bet?"

"A bet?" Polly giggles, "Who said anything about a bet?! I totally didn't!"

"Polly, I swear if you and Vera-" Damien gets interrupted by the ghost yet again.

"Speaking of Vera! Her, Liam, and Brian are already here," Polly floats through Oz before pushing him towards the entrance to the warehouse. She blabbers the whole while, "I already got the DJ booth set up, my supplier got me enough alcohol to serve an entire country, and Vicky said she's bringing a bunch of party lasers for when it gets dark! By the end of this night, everyone in a three mile wide radius is going to be fucking waa-aaa-asted!!!"

Polly stops pushing Oz to phase through the door of the warhouse and gestures the other two monsters after her. Damien growls at the ghost, but still follows her into the building behind Oz. The warehouse didn't look like much, but Damien knows how intense Polly's parties can get once started no matter where they're at. She's one hell of an opportunist, and takes every chance she gets to spice things up, no matter how fucked up those things can be. For example, Damien wasn't present, but he's heard of the time Polly let loose an entire zoo just to try and teach chimpanzees how to pole dance.

"Sup Oz," Brian looks up from something Liam's showing him and nods to the two new monsters, "Damien."

"The monster of the hour finally arrives," Vera comments from her place leaning against the wall.

"H-Hi," With the distracting banter Damien was providing gone, Oz's anxiety returns full force.

Brian leans close to Liam's ear and whispers something. The vampire looks up from his phone in surprise before locking on to Oz and Damien as if he just realized they were here.

"Oh, Oz and Damien are here," Liam schools his expression, "Does that mean we get to find out how you decimated a god like creature now?"

Oz is struck speechless by how montone Liam asks the question. Sure, Oz knows that the vampire is practically a master of pretending not to care about things, but it was still like a punch to the gut. Oz tries to gather his thoughts enough to give a proper response, but luckily Polly takes the mantle and answers herself.

"No way!" Polly crosses her arms, "I promised Vicky we'd wait for her before doing anything as long as she spared half her firework stash for the party along with the laser lights!"

Brian looks alarmed, "Which firework stash?"

Polly looks confused, "I don't know. She said something about class C and I assumed that stood for CRAZAY!"

"Oh, okay, she's giving you her commercial fireworks," Brian say in relief, "Those'll be fine."

"Wait, Ozzie, you're sparkly friend has a fireworks stash and you didn't tell me?!" Damien asks with a scandalized look.

"W-Well, she kinda made me promise not to tell you," Oz replies shyly, still not recovered from his earlier anxiousness and unprepared for the coming conversation once his other friends arrive, "She's been saving them up for Scott and Brian's last game of the season."

"Actually," Vicky pipes, "I decided to use the fireworks for something else since I found out Scott is awful with loud sudden noises!"

"Holy shit- where the hell did you come from?!" Damien startles at Vicky's sudden appearance to the demons's right.

"Oh, we got here a few seconds ago. I ran ahead to make sure Polly kept her promise. Speaking of that promise…" Vicky throws Polly a bag that Oz just now notices her carrying, "That's half of my C class fireworks and a working set of laser lights. Please don't break the lasers, I still have plans for them."

"Sure thing boo!" Polly winks before floating away to start hooking them up.

"Wait, you said 'we got here a few seconds ago.' Who else were you talking about?" Brian asks.

"Miranda offered to let us ride her carriage to the party and I convinced Amira to ride with us," Vicky explains.

"It was just you, Amira, and Miranda?" Liam asks this time.

"No, I also invited-" The door to the warehouse opens with a bang, revealing Miranda, Amira, and one excited werewolf.

"VICKY!" Scott rushes across the warehouse to take his place next to the blue monster, "Did you give Polly the things she asked for, so we can have fun?"

"Yeah Scott," Vicky reaches up and pats Scott's head and his tail responds by wagging even faster than normal.

"Fucking glitter!" Amira steps up next to the group with a look of pure annoyance and lots of pink glitter all over her face, "Why would somebody make a carriage with that much glitter?! Hell, how are you guys not covered in this crap too! I swear if I keep getting covered in glitter I'm gonna develop an allergic reaction."

"That's not how allergic reactions work," Liam comments.

With Amira's arrival, Vera decides to step off the wall and walk up to the small group forming in the warehouse. 

"I was being dramatic Liam," Amira rolls her eyes as she flicks another piece of glitter off her shoulder. However, when Amira notices Vera, she gives her a smirk, "Nice of you to join us middle class plebeians hotstuff."

"I am not in the middle class," Miranda pouts, but everyone ignores her.

At Amira's words, Vera's ears turn pink although her face stays neutral, "I swear, if you keep calling me that I will hire somebody to take you out."

"Sorry, I don't like blind dates," Amira retorts with a wink, "I'd much prefer it if you just took me out yourself."

The pink on Vera's ears spreads to her nose and cheeks as her snakes bury into themselves shyly. Everyone one else present except for Oz shares a look while Amira continues to fluster Vera. Well, until Polly interrupts Amira's sweet words.

"Stop making googly eyes at each other!" Polly damands, "You two can flirt and fuck another time, k?"

Both Amira and Vera turn a cherry red at Polly's blunt words. Vicky puts a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing. 

"I- We aren't- I was just trying to-" Amira's silver tongue from earlier disappears entirely and without it she's left stammering.

"Me and Amira do not have sex Polly!" Vera hisses.

"And I don't have weed stuffed in my bras right now," Polly replies sarcastically, "Just do whatever you're doing later, because right now is story time!"

Everyone turns their attention to Oz at Polly's words. Damien subtly steps closer to the incarnation of fear to act as support if things go wrong. He wasn't lying when he said he's beat the living daylight out of anybody who makes Oz upset earlier. Just because some of the people present are Damien's friends doesn't mean they are exempt from this rule either. 

The change in mood is quick and dramatic. Although they act carefree, most the monsters present have been ignoring or dreading this conversation entirely. 

For Polly, Vera, Miranda, Scott, and Liam, this isn't that big of a deal. Sure, they know Oz, but not enough to truly be surprised or feel hurt that he didn't tell them something. If they felt anything at all about the sudden reveal at all it was curiosity and maybe a bit of surprise given Oz's nervous and almost weak behavior.

Amira, Vicky, and Brian were a completely different story however. They've known Oz the longest, spent the most time around him, thought they knew him the most. They all knew Oz wasn't telling them the truth about something, but none of them had sound theories. Brian assumed Oz had some type of bad relationship in his past that made him so skittish. Vicky has guessed Oz had anxiety and just acted nervous all the time because he couldn't help it. Amira… was the closest to the truth, having the theory Oz wasn't telling them the whole truth ever since she tried to look into fearlings. 

Despite all these theories though, all three monsters decided to keep to themselves. If Oz wanted to tell them something, he'd tell them himself in his own time. They never pushed, so why did it hurt? Why did it hurt that Oz didn't tell them? Probably because they could've known if they did push. Just a little, and they could've known. It was their fault for not asking. Now they could though. They had the chance to ask and they were going to use it. And maybe… while they're at it, they'll get Oz to trust them just a little more in the future so they won't have to push so much.

"I-I guess you guys want the whole e-explanation on the incarnation of fear thing now r-right?" Oz offers timidly.

"Just a little," Vicky nods stiffly.

"I hate being uninformed," Vera comments.

"I could care less either way," Liam deadpans.

"O-Okay. W-Where do I begin," Gathering as much courage as possible, Oz nods his head nervously, before talking, "S-So, I was born before time itself. I-It was when the concept of the universe was created and before reality and the mindscape were separated."

Oz goes on to describe his life before the Earth and intellectual life was created by talking about the endless and lonely hunting he did for millions upon billions of years. How because Oz had no purpose in life other than to hunt mindless prey he never felt anything other than hunger.

Oz's mood changes quickly as he recounts when the first humans, monsters, and other intellectual creatures were created and scattered across worlds and planes of reality. At this point Oz gets focused on his storytelling and stops stuttering. He fondly recounts his horrific hunts as he learned how complicated the fear of higher beings is and distastefully mentions how unappetizing primal fear tastes. 

As Oz mentions the appearance of the first ever phobia known to man, Nyctophobia makes his presence known and does a tiny bow. More and more phobias pop out after that to try and get some attention for themselves. Oz is too busy talking to notice their shenanigans, so Damien sends the tiny ink blobs a glare that makes them retreat.

Oz explains how as time passed he started to find thrill in the hunt and openly torment the people he hunted and turn them against each other with horror movie effenicency. Oz's anxiety kicks back up when he's about to describe his first and only real slaughter. Damien offers a surprisingly reassuring look, and Oz somehow finds himself able to continue talking about the time he lost control.

Oz's tone shifts yet again as he describes his first time actually talking to people, and how it led to him realizing what feeling lonely actually meant. Oz describes how he spent a few hundred years trying to learn how to fit in and act. 

He avoids talking about the many embarrassing encounters and conversations that caused part of his social anxiety. Oz also mostly skips anything that involved his personal experiences in that time to describe how his consumption of fear changed. Oz finishes his story by describing how he first met Vicky, Amira, and Brian.

With the last bit of story being told, Oz waits for his friends' reactions anxiously. Honestly, Oz feels as if there's a weight off his shoulders. At least now, Oz gets an ultimatum. Either his friends will hate him, leave him, or ignore him completely. A tiny bit of Oz prays that none of these things happen, but he doesn't want to get his hopes up. No matter what, Oz'll still have Zoe and Damien… because he couldn't even imagine not having them. 

"Wow, that was like... a ton of angsty exposition," Polly looks bored and unimpressed to Oz's absolute shock.

"Why do you look like that Polly!? That was an awesome story!" Vicky sounds happy but she looks defensive, "It had action, crazy powers, character development, good settings, gruesome deaths, suspense, and even a bunch of tiny creatures that help the protagonist!"

"If you continue a little farther in the future with the story, I'm sure you could even add a little romance," Amira subtly smirks at Oz despite the action seeming a tiny bit forced.

Vicky puts both her hands on Oz's shoulders in an attempt to be reassuring, "You should write an autobiography Oz! I bet it would be a bestseller!"

"I-I uh-" Oz can't emotionally keep up with the conversation.

"It would definitely be better than Dragon Heat," Amira scoffs before Oz can actually get something out taking comfort in falling back on her old banter.

"Hey! Don't diss my favorite book series," Vicky frowns, "I might agree that Oz's story is better, but that doesn't mean Dragon Heat is any less of a literature masterpiece."

"I don't care what you say Vicky. Dragon heat  _ is  _ a knock off smut," Amira retorts, "No ifs, ands, or buts about it!"

"For your opinion-"

"I agree with Vicky!" Scott accidentally interrupts the blue monster beside him, "That story was super great! Even though I didn't understand most of it!"

"What wasn't understandable?" Liam frowns, "Oz told his story very simply."

"I would also like to know what was so difficult to understand in the story. It was obviously a tragic tale about a powerful beast with no emotions slowly learning about his place in the universe and developing proper emotions and personality along the way," Everyone stares at Miranda once her little speech is finished. The princess simply glances at the stares directed at her in confusion, "What? It was a relatable story. It's quite reminiscent of the book detailing my great great grandfather's conquests in the Merkingdom and his journey to gain his people's love through manipulation and propaganda!"

"There's the bit about being kin to royalty," Liam sighs.

"Y-You… none o-of you have any problems with m-me being so dangerous?" Oz finally asks the question burning in his head and heart.

Brian answers Oz's monumental question with a less than life-changing response, "We're already going to go to school with one eldritch abomination that tried to kill us, why wouldn't we be okay with going to school with the one that saves us?"

Oz doesn't know how to respond to that, so he doesn't. 

"OH! So when Brian tells you that you listen," Damien throws his arms in the air with fake annoyance, "-but when I fucking say the same thing it's all 'yeah, but that's different.' Fucking bullshit Ozzie! Literal bullshit!"

Oz's mood lightens at Damien's teasing and he finds himself actually believing that things went his way, "Damien. You're a literal demon from hell, your opinion on what things are deal breakers are very different from others."

"Yeah," Ignoring Oz and Damien's words, Amira nods along with Brian's earlier words in agreement, "Although, just so we're on the same page Oz. If you pull out that world destroying form that looks like a naked mole rat and blobfish lovechild, I make no promises I won't throw up again."

"Same," Vicky raises her hand, "Except if I throw up it'll be for the first time."

"I would prefer if you just didn't use it in my general vicinity," Liam frowns, "But it's not like I can stop you from doing so."

"Look, out of everything that was just said, I am waaay more interested in this whole sensing fear thing," Polly pipes up and Oz tenses minisculely, "That's gotta be the best party trick ever!" 

Oz is so startled by Polly's words that his brain forgets to make him stutter, "What?"

"You have the best party trick ever!" Polly repeats, "You know how some people can set cakes on fire or do close-up magic? You can read into people's minds and tell them what they're worst insecurities are in an instant! It's pretty much free therapy!"

"Woah, woah, woah," Vera frowns and crosses her arms, "Not only could I think of fifty better uses for that ability than therapy, but there is no way anybody would give away that kind of service for free!"

"P-Plus, I can't get rid of their fear permanently without destroying my victim's mind," Oz feels the need to direct Vera away from the exploitation of his abilities to save himself and the school some future trouble, "The best I can do it get rid of it for a couple days before their mind recovers and they're susceptible to feelings again."

"Disappointing," Vera sighs, "A permanent solution could be sold at much higher prices. Although, having it be timed will cause clients to come back again and again for more…"

"Ahem," Amira attempts to get Vera's attention to warn her, "Don't talk about exploiting people's natural abilities when said person is right in front of you along with that person's dangerous red guard dog!"

Vera's broken out of her reverie as she looks up to meet Damien's glare and decides to backtrack. That's probably the best decision she could have made for her wellbeing.

"Of course, that's all just theorizing because I would  _ never  _ exploit one of my  _ friends' natural _ born abilities for profit," As Vera talks, her face scrunches up in distaste if she's trying to swallow sour candy.

"Don't hurt yourself there Vera," Liam scoffs.

"Shut up, I'm trying to sound sincere," Vera hisses.

"In Liam's defense, you were nowhere near believable," Brian starts, "I've literally seen you use Damien's genocidal rages to destroy your competitors before. It's not that far a stretch you'd want to learn your enemies deepest fears."

"That may be true, but…" Vera's eye twitches, "...friendship… is more important… than profit."

"Okay, let's stop talking about this before Vera literally blows a fuse," Amira steps in, "Hey Polly, when's this party of yours supposed to actually start?"

At the mention of her party, Polly's eyes light up as she begins to excitedly float around, "People should be arriving any minute now! Although it's considered lame to arrive at a party first and on time, so maybe it'll be a little longer. WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! You kinda mentioned you had a mouth in that story somewhere right Oz right?! We also saw you had one after the school got destroyed!"

Polly pauses just long enough for Oz to nod, "Yes, I can have a mouth, but-"

"Can you drink? Can you get drunk? Have you ever gotten drunk before? Do you get angry when drunk or do you get super outgoing!? Wait! How much alcohol can you have  _ until _ you get drunk! What's your favourite drink? Can I challenge you to a drinking contest?! I'll bet twenty bucks I can slam back more alcohol than you! Ha, I'm just kidding. Unless you actually want to have a drinking contest because I am  _ soooo _ down for that!"

Polly spitfires question after question so fast that Oz has no idea what half the things he asked are. One glance at all the other monsters in the circle and they seem to share the same problem. Does Polly realize this and slow down? No. If anything, she starts talking faster and faster as her enthusiasm for a party increases.

"-honestly, tonight just keeps getting better and better! First I pay bribe someone to tell me who's enrolling in Spooky High, I find out one of them's a handsome hunk that likes doing things shirtless, and then I learn that one of my friends can get drunk! I mean, this is going to be one HELL of a BLOWOUT if things go right… or wrong! Everything's turning up on Polly's side tonight boos!"

As if God heard the monster's present begging for mercy, the door to the warehouse opens with perfect timing. Polly is startled out of her spiel momentarily by the noise and Vicky takes advantage of it. 

"HEY! People are showing up Polly! We should go greet your guests!" Vicky slowly backs away from Polly while retaining eye contact, "Plus, don't you need to get the music started? You don't want people to think you're throwing a pame party do you?"

Already having an unusually short attention span, Polly doesn't understand Vicky's ulterior motives and lets out a gasp, "I cannot be known for throwing a less than amazing party! It would wreck my cred! TO THE DJ BOOTH I GOOOOOOO!"

Ignoring the first part about greeting her guests, Polly flies to her DJ booth and starts pushing buttons and moving dyles with the kind of speed saved for experts. In record time, pop music is vibrating through the abandoned warehouse and the laser lights are going bananas all over the place.

"Guess we get to greet the guests then!" Vicky shrugs before skipping to the door followed by Scott.

"I'll go make sure Vicky doesn't scare anybody away," Amira smiles and follows the two monsters.

Brian sighs, "And I'll go make sure she doesn't scare anybody away."

As Brian and Amira walk away, Vera and Liam share a quick glance before silently following. Like a lost duckling, Miranda trails behind them in the same direction. Damien almost teases the princess about it, but he resists in order to see deal with the shell shocked monster beside him.

"They didn't care," Oz says despondently, "They didn't even care…"

"Nope," Damien smirks, "I'd say I told you so, but I feel like you're having a moment."

"I described how I mutilated two entire armies and disfigured human corpses and they didn't bat an eye," Oz deadpans, "They seriously didn't care."

"Shit, I think they actually broke you," Damien leans closer to Oz, "You aren't going to pass out right? Cause if you're gonna pass out I need to know?"

"I'm… fine?" Oz doesn't sound very sure of himself and Damien picks up on it.

"Okay, I was joking a second ago, but if you are actually going to fucking faint please warn me," Damien gets closer to Oz just in case he actually falls over.

"I am not going to faint Damien," Oz breaks his gaze from whatever indefinite point he was staring at moments ago, "I'm just… how do I react to that? I've been scared of myself for who knows how long, and that's their reaction!?"

"Don't expect the same answer if you ask some rando on the street," Damien snickers, "I know it really hasn't sunk in yet for you, but we go to a pretty fucked up school full of some pretty fucked up people. Most of them just aren't that surprised by things anymore."

Oz sighs, "Your right Dames."

"Always am," Damien replies cockily, "Now how about we head over to the table full of whiskey and down a few shots in celebration to you getting over whatever damn crisis that was?"

"I've told you I don't drink Damien," Oz protests, "Plus, my mouth-"

"Isn't a problem! Nobody you haven't already told about it is here yet!" Ignoring Oz's protests, the demon links arms with Oz excitedly and drags him across the room, "Come on! You've can't tell me you haven't at least tried alcohol before!"

"No, I've had alcohol before it's just…" Oz trails off awkwardly.

"What? Are you light weight or something?" Damien raises an eyebrow, "I think anybody could handle at least one shot of whiskey."

"A-Actually, it's the opposite," Oz chuckles, "With no taste buds and a mouth like mine, it takes a lot of anything to do something to me."

Damien stops and turns, "Wait, are you saying that to be affected by any types of drugs and crap you have to have a fuck ton of it pumped into your system?"

"P-Pretty much," Oz looks away from Damien's intense gaze and ignores their entwined arms.

"So you have to have what? A couple gallons of alcohol to-" Damien's eyes suddenly go wide with realization, "Holy shit! You've gotten drunk before haven't you?!"

"W-What?!" Oz squeaks, "N-No!"

"Then how do you know how much alcohol it takes to really affect you?" Damien smirks with a raised eyebrow.

"Ok f-fine! I may have gotten drunk once, when I tried alcohol for the first time, and I might have overdone it," Oz winces at his own embarrassing memories, "...a lot."

"Okay, so you're going to tell me that story later," Damien says with finality, "Right now though, you're going to slam some shots with me until one of us gets drunk."

"What?! No?! We're not both going to try and get drunk Damien?! Why would I want us to do that?!" Oz cries.

"Fine, jeez, you can get drunk and I'll stay sober," Damien huffs, "I guess I owe you one anyways when it comes to taking care of drunk people."

"That's not what I meant!" Oz shouts as Damien finally drags his friend to their final destination.

"It's fine Oz. I'm not gonna let you embarrass yourself too much if you get wasted," Damien suddenly looks very genuine, "You trust me right?"

"Y-Yes, of course!" The words spill from Oz's mouth without hesitation, "I still just don't want to get drunk! Why are you so stuck on that?"

Damien pauses to consider Oz's question. Why does he want Oz to get drunk so badly? The first thought to pop in his head is how Damien got drunk when they first met and Oz had to take care of him. Thinking back to that night made Damien a little wistful. How would it have turned out if the roles had been reversed?

Damien couldn't ever imagine Oz getting aggressive like he does with alcohol, so what would he act like intoxicated? He could be outgoing like Polly said and act more like he does around Damien all the time, or he could be one of those overly affectionate drunks that's all touchy and feely. Despite the latter thought making Damien's heart stutter, he continues thinking about how things would have gone down.

Obviously back then Damien wouldn't have helped the dork since they barely knew each other, but the demon doesn't want to think about that. Instead, he imagines having to pick Oz up and bring him back to his home in hell. At some point on the trip from the bar through a portal, the dork would fall asleep in Damien's arms. Of course, Damien would never want his dads to find out he brought somebody home, so instead of going to a guest room, he would drop Ozzie in  _ Damien's _ bed in  _ Damien's  _ room. 

"Damien? Are you gonna answer me?" Ozzie himself breaks Damien away from his daydream.

"O-Oh, w-well… you don't have to drink with me I guess," Damien looks away so Ozzie can't see his absolutely pink face.

Oz's gaze turns soft and filled with warmth, "Thank you. Again, it's not that I don't trust you, I just really don't like alcohol."

Damien forces himself to look at Oz and smirk, "Plus, hangovers are the fucking worst right?"

Oz laughs, "The absolute worst."

With Damien to distract him, Oz momentarily forgets about the existential crisis he was having and the night starts to go by rather quickly. More and more monsters show up as the night continues until the warehouse is pulsing with bodies, music, and lights. Oz honestly doubts any of the monsters present even remember why this party was thrown in the first place. 

Speaking of reasons the party was thrown, Oz spots Dmitri in the crowd of dancing students. The vampire is surrounded by a group of girls oohing and awing at his, still very shirtless, torso. With a bit of embarrassment, Oz notices Zoe in the fray with her camera out snapping pictures. It's only when Scott passes and half the girls sprint after him that Oz realizes the group was mostly made of cheerleaders. Dmitri looks less than pleased that his crowd dispersed and looks around the warehouse with barely sealed contempt. 

As Dmitri is glancing around, Oz waves at him politely. The shy wave was barely noticeable, but Dmitri somehow managed to spot Oz from it. The vampire's eyes light up in recognition and he starts making his way across the room. 

The demon standing next to Oz, notices when his friend waves to someone in the distance the moment it happens. With deep-seated curiosity, Damien follows Oz's gaze to see who he's looking at. The can of cheap beer in Damien's hand is crushed, as he goes on red alert. The person Oz waved at is coming their way and Damien does not like the look of them. 

The vampire struts through the crowd with confidence and prestige. People step out of his way as he walks in the way that girls step out of the way of a handsome actor. However, none of these things are what Damien locks onto, not even the fact he's shirtless. It's the shit-eating smirk he has on his face as he walks up to Oz and the look in his eyes that sets Damien's blood boiling. When the vampire flips his hair and all the students nearby swoons, Damien's resolve becomes an impenetrable wall. There is no way in hell that bastard is talking to Oz if Damien can help it.

Urgently, Damien looks for anything to distract Oz from the shirtless vampire heading his way. Damien's distraction comes in the form of an orange gelatinous blob of goo across the dance floor. With little to no hesitation, Damien grabs Oz's hand and pulls him away from the booze bar.

"Woah-" Oz doesn't expect Damien's hand in his or the tug to the right until it's too late and he's being dragged away.

"Hey Oz, one of the probably new kids is over there. You wanted to meet them right?" Damien doesn't stop long enough for Oz to answer, "Let's go talk to them far away from any monsters that may or may not end up as ashes by the end of the night."

"That's oddly specific," Oz lets concern lace his words.

"Who fucking cares?" Damien asks as they get closer to the orange blob about two feet shorter than Oz, "Shut up Ozzie. We've got to make a good first impression right?"

"First good impression?!" Oz sounds even more concerned than earlier, "What's wrong with you?!"

Before Oz can start looking for flying pigs in the nearby area, Damien's already thrown him in front of what seems to be a sentient slime creature with a baseball cap. 

"Umm…" Oz waves awkwardly, "H-Hello."

"Hi!" The amorphous blob of slime smiles at Oz cheerfully, "Did you want something?"

"Ozzie and I just wanted to say hello to one of our new classmates," Damien tones down the bloodthirst he usually shares in his smiles to seem friendly. Oz eyes Damien like he's an alien from another planet.

"Really?! You guys are so nice! Nobody else has talked to me yet! I'm just not as flashy as everyone else!" Blobert radiates a sense of childish innocence and tender sweetness, "That's okay though! Me being myself is much more important than being the center of attention!"

"Wow," Is the only thing Damien can get out.

Oz, being much more knowledgeable about social interactions with sane people takes the lead in Damien's silence, "That's too bad. You seem really nice. I'm sure if you just decided to talk with someone you'd make quick friends."

"Well, can I be honest with you?" Blobert asks and Oz nods, "I'm not really used to parties like these. All the parties I've been to have cake, streamers, and icecream! These aren't anything like those though…"

Oz, in the deepest level of his being, relates to the orange sludge monster in front of him. Damien is increasingly puzzled at the conversation playing out in front of him. This slime ball reminds him of a main character in some kids' cartoon or something.

"I've got an idea," Oz finds himself taking the initiative in a rare moment of outgoingness, "Would you like me to introduce you to some of my friends, so you don't have to worry about talking to the wrong person?"

"You would do that for me?!" Blobert gasps, "I would love that! You're so nice! I hope all my new classmates are nice like you!"

Oz and Damien share a look and have a silent conversation like some type of married couple. The glance doesn't last longer than three seconds, but a lot of information is exchanged. Neither Oz nor Damien have the heart to tell Blobert how terrible some of their classmates are. In the end it would be better for Oz to introduce his closest friends first before Blobert gets thrown in the ocean that is Spooky High.

"Ok then, follow me then," Oz flashes his version of a smile at Blobert.

Said slime monster returns the grin with the same amount of enthusiasm, "Okay! Please take care of me!"

Oz leads Blobert away as Damien acts as a bodyguard to deter any annoying monsters wanting to fuck with somebody, so he was mostly keeping a look out for Polly. Luckily, depending on who you ask, Damien doesn't have to punch anyone and Oz makes it across the room with Blobert peacefully. 

Oz mumbles under his breath as they walk past the table full of alcohol and drunk people, "I could've swore Kale and Valerie were over… Oh, there they are!"

Oz makes his way to his two calmest friends swiftly. Both of them are leaning against the wall chatting. When they notice Oz's approach, they both stop talking to see what he wants.

"Hey Val. Hey Kale," Oz starts off with a quick greeting, "This is Blobert. Blobert, this is Valerie and Kale."

"Hi!" Blobert forms a little arm and waves it around happily, "That's me!"

"Yeah, that's him," Oz rubs the back of his neck nervously, "You see… Damien and I saw him by himself… and-"

"Ozzie offered to let him meet some of his friends because the slimeball isn't used to  _ real _ parties," Damien cuts Oz off and finishes.

Valerie raises an eyebrow, "You  _ and _ Damien decided to help a new kid meet people?"

"Hey! What's that supposed to meet catgirl?! I can be considerate if I want to be!" Damien scowls.

"Yeah, if the person you're being considerate to has a name that begins with O and ends with Z," Valerie smiles.

Damien flushes and Oz sighs, "Come on, don't be mean to Damien. He has his moments… sometimes… on the rare occasion."

Kale changes the subject before Damien's fluster turns to frustration, "So your name's Blobert?"

"Oh yeah! I didn't really like being named after my physical characteristics when I was little, but now I appreciate my name!" Blobert smiles, "Afterall, it's not the name that makes the person, but rather their actions!"

"Dude, I was the same way when I was a kid," Kale smiles, "You would not believe how terrible it is being a plant monster named Kale. People thought that if they cut my hair during class they could use it to make salads and stuff. Joke was on them though because they pretty much ate tree leaves."

"Oh yeah, when I was in elementary school kids would always try to pet me and grab my tail," Valerie laughs, "They stopped doing when I started tripping them though!"

"Wowee that sounds funny, although I hope nobody got hurt," Blobert smiles although he sounds a bit worried.

"Heh, only their prides were damaged," Vakerie smirks and her tail twitches.

As Blobert, Kale, Valerie, and Oz start talking light heartedly, Damien goes back on the prowl for the sorry son of a bitch that was making googly eyes at Oz. With already knowing what his target looks like, Damien spots the vampire rather quickly. He was leaning against the table of whiskey, shot glasses, and drunk people that Oz and Damien were at moments ago. He looks annoyed, but as a crowd of tipsy girls crowd him he seems to get over his grumpiness.

How does Oz even know such a prick?! He acts arrogant to the boot and looks one step away from a damn strip club. It's only as Damien replays the conversation earlier today in his head that he realizes exactly who the stuck-up vampire is. Oz said he met one of the new students in a fight with the Coven a few days ago and that he specifically walked around… shirtless. What did Oz say his name was? Wasn't it Dmitri, or something

Eh, it doesn't matter, Damien's got a name and a location, all he's gotta do now is… all he's gotta do now…

It hits Damien that he doesn't know what to do now. His first instinct is to go beat the ever loving hell out of that gothic dipshit vampire, but how would he explain his actions? Now don't get Damien wrong, he doesn't  _ need  _ a reason to be violent, but Ozzie does. Knowing how hard headed he is, Oz probably doesn't even realize what the sorry vampire asshole's trying to do. With dawning dread, Damien realizes the only thing he can do is keep Dmitri and Oz as far apart as possible for as long as possible, or at least until the party's over and Damien can discretely fuck somebody's shit up.

"Wow! You are so sweet Blobert!" Damien turns his attention back to the chatting monsters only to find that Miranda's joined in on the chatting and he has no idea what was just said.

"No way! You're the sweet one!" Blobert smiles, "You all have been nothing but nice to me since we met!"

"We just met a few minutes ago. We could all secretly be serial killers or mass murderers for all you know," Valerie pointedly glances at Damien and Miranda.

"Oh well, I like to think the best of people! After all, even serial killers have to have someone to love them right?" Blobert grins adorably.

Valerie and Kale both send a knowing look in Oz's direction before glancing at Damien yet again. They both share a smirk.

"I guess that's not too outlandish of an idea," Valerie smirks.

After a lot more talking, Damien and Oz eventually leave Blobert in Valerie, Kale, and Miranda's hands and head back out into the fray. Oz does what he usually does at big shindigs and keeps an eye out for his friends whenever possible.

Oz watches Polly crowd surf while laughing uncontrollably, leaving some skeleton with a backwards cap as the temporary DJ. He spots Vera and Amira dancing with a ring of students surrounding them cheering them on. Scott and Vicky are also dancing, but the jealous cheer squad acts as unintentional body guards. They're scowls and hostility naturally keeping a similar crowd from forming around the werewolf and Frankenstein's monster.

At some point Damien even tries to lure Oz out on the dance floor. Of course, Oz refuses the offer on the basis that anxiety and dancing in a crowd do not go well together. Damien reluctantly relents and decides to stay next to Oz near the booze to whine. He doesn't whine for long Dahlia soon challenges the demon to a drinking contest. Damien, in the heat of the moment, forgets about his self-proclaimed duty to watch out for Dmitri and accepts.

As the two slam back shot after shot after shot, Aaravi and Oz band together to quickly google whether alcohol poisoning is possible for demons. In the time it takes them to figure it out, Damien's already chugging vodka straight from the bottle while Dahlia attempts to pour two bottles of whiskey directly down her throat. 

The good news, demons can't die of alcohol poisoning because they're bodies are adept in handling huge amounts of alcohol. Bad news, they are not immune to being drunk and acting stupid. Case and point, both Dahlia and Damien discard their drinks and start brawling in the middle of a crowd.

"I'll get mine if you get yours," Oz sighs.

"Deal," Slayer jumps into the brawl the same time as Oz as they both quickly mediate the fight.

Slayer stops Dahlia by conking her over the head with the butt of a sword and with an amazing amount of strength, throwing the blue demon over her shoulder. Oz is a lot less violent and simply drops Damien into his own shadow when he naturally stumbles and almost faceplants. Aaravi and Oz wave goodbye and go their separate ways as most monsters watching the fight boo at the anticlimactic end.

Oz gets as far away from the group of monsters and any alcohol before dropping Damien back into the land of the living. The red demon is about to fall, when Oz loops an arm around him to keep him steady. 

"You okay Dames?" Oz asks in concern, "You drank a lot really fast."

"Whatha fuck Ozzie? Where's that *hic* blueberry bitch?" Damien tries to stand up but the alcohol just starting to hit his system full force stops him and he stumbles.

Oz sighs, of course that's the first thing Damien asks. Steadying the demon yet again, Oz makes sure Damien doesn't have a knife to try and stab Oz with like last time. Not that Oz thinks Damien would stab him.... again. He's at least lucid enough to recognize Oz and know that Dahlia isn't here anymore, so he  _ can  _ distinguish between friend and foe.

"Dahlia's with Aaravi, probably still unconscious," Oz answers Damien's question before holding up the hand not stabilizing Damien, "How many fingers am I holding up right now?"

"Why would I fwucking care?" Damien slurs, "You said Dahlia's *hic* is out cold right? Did I knock her out?"

"Aaravi knocked her over the head and I grabbed you," Oz lets his arm holding up numbers fall limp at his side, "Considering you didn't answer my question I'm taking it as you didn't know the answer."

"Who's Aaravi?" Damien asks confusedly.

"Slayer. Damien, Aaravi is Slayer. Remember, she told me and Kale we could call her that in Japan?" Oz tries.

"SLAYER!" Damien's eyes go wide and there's a knife in his hand before Oz can blink, "I'll fucking slit her goddamn throat-"

Oz grabs Damien's wrist and in a flash, Damien's blade has been confiscated, "Nope. No stabbing. No Slayer hunting. You're drunk and we need to get you home, or at least back to my house."

While Oz is talking, Damien whips out another weapon, "I'm drunk? Hell yeah! That means I have an *hic* excuse to lacerate that stupid vampire!"

"Damien no," Oz feels like a mom at this point as he confiscates another weapon, "No lacerating people. What did Liam even do to make you so mad?"

"Liam?" Damien usual scowl is lopsided and his glare is unfocused, "Who the fuck said anything about that idiot?!"

"You said vampire," Oz's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Who else would you be talking about?"

"THE SHIRTLESS ONE OZ!" Damien gets another knife from who knows where and tries to stand up by himself again.

It takes a moment before Oz connects the dots, "Dmitri? What do you have against Dmitri?"

Damien's gaze turns dark despite the glaze over his eyes, "He's been eyeing you all night with *hic* some cocky smirk, and it makes me wanna murder him."

It's very bad timing, but Oz suddenly remembers Zoe's comments about the shirtless vampire having a crush on him. Why does Zoe almost always have to be right about things when they're least convenient? Oz coughs in embarrassment. Not only did he fail to notice someone checking him out, but Damien noticed and was upset about it.

"That's no reason to murder him Dames," Oz carefully extracts another weapon from Damien and drops it in the void while still red, "Plus, you've just drank enough alcohol in the last fifteen minutes to put Polly to shame. Running around and fighting people is the last thing you want to try and do right now."

Damien looks less than convinced by Oz's rational reasoning, but it looks like he's out of weapons to pull out of nowhere. Thank goodness.

"Let me text Zoe that I'm leaving and then I'm bringing you back to my house."

Oz pulls out his phone, but after a few failed attempts to unlock it with one hand, he holds it up to his shoulder and lets his phobias do the work. Hopefully they take things seriously and don't prank text a bunch of his friends when they have a mission to fulfill. 

"Hey Dames, do you think you can stay awake until Zoe texts me or do you…" Damien looks ready to pass out on his feet, "Nevermind. I can answer that myself. I'll come back for Zoe once you're not a danger to everyone else and yourself."

With that bit of warning, Oz drops into the void with his arm still wrapped around Damien's torso. As an afterthought, Oz hopes this doesn't make Damien throw up.

Both monsters appear back in Oz's apartment and Damien looks, not to be offensive, like shit. Yeah, the second time in the void might have been Oz pushing his luck. 

As Oz keeps his arm around Damien tightly, he considers where he's going to put the demon. Oz could drop him on the couch like at his old apartment, but it really doesn't look like a comfortable place to sleep. Oz only did that last time because Damien was almost a complete stranger anyways. Now, he didn't really need to worry about Damien lighting his house on fire or something like that. They are both far past that stage in their relationship.

With a bit of deliberation, Oz decides to just drop Damien off in Oz's bed. It's not like he uses it anyways with the whole not needing to sleep thing. Plus, it'll be way more comfortable to pass out on.

"Come on Dames, you've just gotta make it to the bedroom, okay?" Oz asks.

"I can walk fine by myself," Is the slurred response.

"I know you can, but you don't have to," Oz shakes his head as he starts leading Damien down the hall, "Honestly, you being able to walk after drinking so much is a miracle in itself."

Oz thanks his past self for leaving his bedroom door open this morning as he leads Damien in and kicks it closed behind him. The large bed inside is still made perfectly from when Oz first bought the house. It hasn't even been slept in yet.

"Okay, feel free to pass out now," Oz pulls the sheets back with one hand and finally lets go of Damien so he can lay down.

Damien looks at the bed for a moment before glancing up at Oz with an indescribable look. His tail whips around in violently before Damien grabs Oz's shoulders.

"Damien, what are you-" Damien tugs Oz onto the bed with him, effectively shutting Oz up.

The monster made of dark matter lands directly on top of Damien and in a matter of seconds turns bright red. Without any explanation, Damien pulls the covers up and shifts Oz off his chest and onto the bed while holding him by the waist.

"D-Damien! W-What are you-"

"Sleep with me," Although Damien still looks drunk as hell, his voice has the kind of conviction strong enough to move an army.

Oz turns fifty shades darker and tries to squirm away, "D-Damien. Y-You're drunk! Y-You don't know what you're-"

Damien tightens his grip around Oz's waist and pulls him flush against his chest, "Hell yeah I do."

"D-Dames-" Oz tries, "I've g-got to go pick up Zoe and-"

"I figure this is a dream," Damien interrupts, "So I don't fucking plan on wasting it."

Damien pulls Oz's head into the crook of his neck and just keeps him there. Oz is about one more shock away from a heart attack. His face is an unholy red, his breathing stopped entirely, and his brain is going into overdrive.

"Damien this isn't a-" 

"Shut up," Damien growls. Oz can feel his breath on his neck and it's nerve wracking, "My head hurts. Just stay still and let me hold you."

Oz is about five seconds from exploding. Damien has him practically pinned to his chest and is asking to sleep with him. There has never been a time in Oz's life when he has wanted to know what's going on inside of somebody's head. Oz really doesn't know what to do in this situation. His best friend is drunk and is trying to sleep with him. 

With a small shake of his head, Oz clears his thoughts. Damien's drunk and doesn't know what he's doing. Oz can't let him keep him here all night because the demon will only be embarrassed in the morning and leave, so he makes a plan. Oz will stay until Damien falls asleep, and then he'll sneak away and go pick Zoe up. 

Oz stays completely still and silent as he listens to Damien's breathing level out and his heartbeat slows. Oz'll never admit it, but he definitely stayed still long after Damien fell asleep. When Oz finally works up enough resolve to move. As Oz carefully extracts himself from the demon's grip, he subtly tells his phobias to hand him his phone. 

Coulrophobia has the nerve to giggle at Oz when he hands him the device. Oz silently glares at his phobia as he backs out of the room. Oz is careful to open and close the door quietly. As he lifts his phone up to his face to text Zoe he's coming to pick her up, Oz can't help his flushed face.

\-------------------------Extra-------------------------

The first thing Damien notices as he wakes up, is the migraine raising hell in his head. The second is that he's definitely not in his room. The demon sits up with a groan and places a hand on his head. Shit, how much did he have last night. The last thing Damien remembers is downing a bottle of Jack Daniels across from Dahlia.

As Damien looks around the room, he instantly knows where he's at and sighs despite his headache. Of course he would end up at Oz's house after getting black out drunk. Looking around the room again, Damien spots what he's looking for. On the bedside table, there's two white pills and a glass of water. Without even questioning what the pills are, Damien downs both of them dry before standing up and heading to the door.

Damien walks down the hall while holding his head. When he doesn't spot anyone in the living room, Damien makes his way to the kitchen. However, Damien stops at the door when he hears shouting on the other side. Part of him wants to bust in and tell the inhabitants of the kitchen to shut up because the noise is irritating his head, but the other figures Oz is one of the people in the kitchen and refuses to act like a jerk to him. This whole situation gives Damien a sense of deja vu.

"OZ! What do I do with the egg! What do I do with the EGG!" A voice, Damien realizes it's the totem girl, screams in panic.

"Zoe, calm down! You use the spatula to flip it," Oz is obviously the voice of reason in the kitchen.

"Which one is the spatula! Ahhh! The egg is turning black! It's not supposed to be black is it?! Yours isn't!" There's the sound of cutlery and other things being moved around quickly.

"Normally, no. Black would mean you burnt it and it's bad, but we're making this for Damien. He likes his food burnt so it should be fine," Oz tries to react to Zoe's hysteria in a calm manner, "Look here. This one is a spatula. Put the flat end under the egg, move your wrist like this and then- there you go Zoe!"

There's the sound of Zoe gasping through the door, "I DID IT! I FLIPPED THE EGG! OZ, DID YOU SEE?! DID YOU SEE?!"

"Yes, Zoe. I was watching," Just the tone of Oz's voice makes it apparent he's smiling, "Does this make up for me picking you up from the party late last night?"

"...fine. You're forgiven, but only because you had to make sure Damien didn't kill Dahlia before I could get my ship to sail."

At being mentioned, Damien takes it as his cue to make his presence known, "How many people did I stab last night?"

Zoe and Oz both turn to the kitchen doorway. Zoe smiles at Damien and waves while Oz almost looks… embarrassed? Why does Oz look embarrassed when all Damien did was walk in the room?

"Good morning Damien? How's your hangover?" Zoe turns to Oz quickly, "That  _ was  _ what you called it right?"

"Yes," Damien growls, "It's called a hangover, and it feels horrible. Thank you very much."

"Great! That means my breakfast is going to probably make things better!" Zoe puts a burnt egg and two pieces of toast on a plate and shoves it towards Damien.

"Don't forget to try yours Zoe. I didn't make you something for it to get cold," Oz sounds like a nagging mother.

Zoe pouts as she grabs her own plate, "Alright, fine."

"Thanks for the food," Damien sits down at the table and Zoe takes the seat beside him as Oz cleans the kitchen, "You didn't answer my question though. Did I stab anybody important when I was out of it?"

"H-How… How much do you remember?" Oz asks nervously.

"I got in a drinking competition with Dahlia and then everything's blank," Damien raises an eyebrow, "Why?"

Oz looks instantly relieved by Damien's answer and his awkwardness vanishes, "It's nothing, don't worry. You didn't stab anyone."

"Okay then?" The way Oz answered that question was surprisingly suspicious.

"Oh, I do need to give you these back though," Oz lays three of Damien's favourite knives on the table in front of him, "The only way I could actually keep you from stabbing someone was taking these."

Damien frowns at Oz changing the subject, "I didn't stab you again or do something else fucking stupid did I?"

"W-Why would you think that?" Oz turns away to wash the dishes, "Nothing happened. I just brought you to my house and dropped you off in my bedroom. N-Nothing else happened."

Damien doesn't think Oz is telling the truth, but decides to ignore it. If Damien did or said something so stupid Oz doesn't want to talk about it, the demon's sure he doesn't want to know either.


	39. Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oz gets to third wheel on yet another adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what guys?! This story hit 10,000 hits! It's absolutely gosh darn amazing! I swear you guys are the best .

The week leading up to Spooky High's official first day after rebuilding went a lot smoother than expected. Nobody tried to kill, maime, kidnap, mug, or trick Oz. Which is always a win in his book considering how things normally turn out. 

Oz can only assume that things are going just as well for Zoe considering the amount of questionable drawings and writings he's found around the house lately. It's gotten to the point Oz just ignores the NSFW art in the hopes of retaining his sanity. It's not worked so far, but Oz can hope.

The week turns into days, days turn into hours, and soon enough the grand reopening of Spooky High is upon them. Well, it wasn't much of a grand reopening as much as it was all the teachers talking about how behind the students are and how screwed they are for midterms if they keep skipping classes. It might have made some students reconsider spending all day in the bathrooms if it weren't for the fact most students skipped that assembly as well.

Overall, nothing really changed. Everyone fell right back into their normal cliques and groups and went back to causing everyday mayhem. This was especially a relief to Oz, who didn't originally know if he was going to be able to act normal around Damien after the little stunt he pulled while drunk.

Of course, the earlier rule had an exception. This exception was the new students enrolling. However, they also found their own roles in the Spooky High pyramid of popularity easily. The first day of school Dmitri started trying to 'lure' people to the dark side by offering sex among other things, Calculester caused an uproar when he revealed he was a robot, and Blobert became Spooky High's poster child for being protected. Everybody fell in love with the little blob and he's now the main diffuser of conflict at school.

Zoe's first day was also nothing to scoff at. In the first hour she found a way to hide fanfiction in every room of the building, start a war between the Anime and Manga club, solidify herself as Spooky High's go to love guru, and find blackmail worthy information on 50% of the student body's love lives. All of this occurred while Oz tried to stop her chaos, or at least tone it down. The whole thing started a rumor that the two were adopted siblings. Which is wrong, but Zoe refused to deny anything despite Oz's badgering.

"Why would I tell them we aren't brother and sister?" Zoe had asked, "We're both eldritch abominations and we live together."

Oz remembers being taken back by Zoe's words and being so overcome by a sudden warmth that he could barely get any words out.

"Plus, if we're siblings I get to refer to you as my annoying older brother," Zoe had smirked and then the moment was ruined.

However, none of this is the point. What Oz is trying to say is that school has been going great, or at least that's what he's thinking about as he tries to get mashed potatoes out of his hair from the latest food fight in the lunchroom. Luckily, Oz got out right before things got really heated and the potatoes are all he has to worry about getting off of him.

As trichophobia helps him get out the tiny pieces of tuber, Oz notices someone coming closer and closer to the bathroom. In fact, Oz doesn't even need super hearing to know the person coming closer is Aaravi with all the shouting. Not one to pry into others' business, Oz doesn't even turn to look at who Aaravi's screaming at as she rams the bathroom door open and slams it behind her. 

"I DON'T LIKE YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE YOU ANNOYING NPC!" Aaravi screams.

"But Aaravi, you can't keep expressing your emotions in such an unhealthy way! Shouting and being violent are not good ways to show your feelings!" Oz's curiosity is piqued at the unfamiliar voice, but keeps from looking to see who the speaker is.

"Don't call me Aaravi, my name is Slayer to you, and my emotions are fine! I don't need a stupid pixie with some stupid degree to tell me how to live my-" Aaravi stops abruptly, "Oz! Is that you? Thank god, I need your help!"

Oz sighs as he turns around. Guess he's a part of  _ this _ now. When Oz gets a good look at his slayer friend, she has a set of bags under her eyes that could hold groceries. Floating next to Aaravi's head is a tiny green pixie holding a clipboard and a pen.

"Oh! You must be one of Aaravi's friends! It's so nice to meet you!" The tiny pixy smiles at Oz in the warmest way possible, "I'd like to say she's talked about you, but she hasn't said much of anything to me other than threats. She said your name is Oz right?"

"Yeah, umm it's nice to meet you too…?" Oz tries for a name despite Aaravi's increasingly annoyed expression.

"Norah, the Fairy Therapist! You can just call me a Fair-a-pist if it makes things easier," The pixie now known as Norah answers smoothly, "I'm a licensed social worker her to guide Aaravi on her path to emotional maturity!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now you know each other. Whoop-de-do!" Aaravi interrupts, "Oz, I want you to teleport this pixie to the moon and leave her there, so I can get some peace and quiet!"

"What?!" Both Norah and Oz say at the same time.

"Aaravi, you can't just send your problems away! You have to face them head on!" Norah says critically, "That's both literal and metaphorical in this case!"

"Why do you want me to send a pixie to the moon?" Oz asks, still shocked, "What did Norah do?"

"I'll tell you what she does!" Aaravi fumes, "She talks 24/7 about emotional stability and all this other mental crap. I can't stake out monsters because she's always yapping, I can't focus on any spars, she shouts random words of encouragement when I'm focused on something, and she NEVER leaves me alone!"

"Why is she even following you?" Oz asks.

"I'll tell you why! She's a curse!" Aaravi shouts, "I found her in an empty bottle, abandoned in a dungeon and took her with me. Normally, fairies and pixies are for adventurers. They give you important advice on winning boss fights, remind you what you're supposed to be doing, and heal you when you get hurt in battle, but this one does none of that. Her only purpose is to drive me crazy with all her emotions bullshit!"

"That's not true! I'm following Aaravi because she needs help!" Norah contradicts, "She obviously has some type of childhood trauma, anger management problems stemming from it, and maybe even a superiority complex! I just want to help her!"

"Ummm, maybe-" Oz gets cut off.

"Help me!? Do you think interrupting everything I say and ruining hanging out with Dahlia is helpful?!" Aaravi growls.

"How am I supposed to help you normally if you refuse to speak to me? The only way for you to even hear what I say is for me to point out your bad behavior and hope you can improve it," Norah says calmly, "Otherwise, what am I supposed to do to help you get better? I just need you to cooperate a little Aaravi! I promise you'll feel so much better once we work these problems of yours out!"

"Let's get one thing straight fairy," Aaravi points a knife at Norah, "I don't have any of these 'problems' you think I have, k?! So please, just leave me alone."

"I can't do that Aaravi. You may not want to be helped, but I don't want you to run yourself into the ground with all these emotions you're hiding through anger," Norah sounds so sincere that even Aaravi's strong facade falters.

Oz feels like he's interrupting something personal, "Look, Aaravi. I can't send Norah to the moon. Maybe I should-"

"Aaravi!" Dahlia shouts from outside the bathroom, cutting Oz off, "Are you in there?!"

Following her words, Dahlia bursts into the bathroom with a worried expression. Aaravi doesn't even meet her gaze as she scowls down at the ground. On the other hand, Norah looks ecstatic to see the blue demon.

"Dahlia! There you are! I was hoping you would follow-"

Oz reaches out and cups the fairy in his hands effectively silencing her. Dahlia and Aaravi are too focused on each other to notice what he did. Silently, the incarnation of fear promises himself to apologize to Norah for this later, but Aaravi and Dahlia look like they want to talk without her interference.

"Why did you run away!? I told you that stupid fairy didn't bother me!" Dahlia looks confused and concerned all at the same time.

"I know, but she just- GAH!" Aaravi puts both her hands on her head and grabs her hair, "She just never shuts up! All I want to do is spend time with you and she just talks about all this stupid mental crap that I supposedly have that makes me sound like some type of freak or sicko when I'm absolutely fine!" 

"Here words aren't true! I promise!" Dahlia sounds just as distressed as Aaravi looks, "You are no freak!"

"B-But- she might be..." Aaravi looks like she wants to finish the thought but can't.

"You're stressed. That dumb fairy's made sure of it," Dalia starts, "You need to relax, and I'm going to make sure you get to. We're going to ditch school and go explore that ice castle you've been telling me about for weeks! It'll be the perfect adventure! Not even that fairy tag along can mess it up!"

"That sounds… nice Dahlia," Aaravi offers a weak, but genuine smile.

"And Oz is coming with us!" Dahlia shouts and Aaravi nods in agreement.

"What?!" 

Oz stares at the two monsters in front of him, shocked. This does not seem like something he should be getting involved with. It's almost like the two girls are determined to keep Oz around as a third wheel. Oz actually plays with the idea of just making a run for it right now.

Norah on the other hand, thinks this is the best time to put in her two senses and uses all the strength in her little body to pry Oz's hands open and free herself while he's surprised. The tiny green fairy bursts from his hands with a little flash of grin. Norah makes her way close to Aaravi's head and grins as she writes something down on her tiny clipboard.

"This is a wonderful idea! We can all go on a journey of self discovery!" Norah flies circles around Aaravi's head despite the two girls glaring a hole into her, "You said it was an ice castle yes? I'm sure we could use this as a metaphor towards your anger and how your emotions need to be expressed in a 'cool' way. Get it? Cool?"

Aaravi chooses to ignore the fairy entirely, "I've got my instant marker for the castle in my locker. You go steal a jacket or something from home economics while I grab that."

"Are you sure?" Dahlia hesitates with a glance at Norah, "Do you really want to be alone with… her?"

"I'll go with her," Oz sighs. He'll just accept the fact that he's a part of whatever kind of trip this is no matter what he thinks.

"Yes! I would love to get to see how you and your friend interact," Norah smiles, "Maybe we can talk about why you're so stressed by my questions in the meantime?"

"No," Aaravi scowls at Norah before starting towards the door, "Come on Oz. My lockers across the school."

"O-Okay," Oz follows behind Aaravi as she quickly leaves the bathroom and starts down the halls.

Despite the two's quick leave, Norah stays beside them the whole time. Even when Aaravi is practically running down the halls, Norah stays a foot or two close to her head.

Oz decides to try and make small talk to at least get rid of some of the tense atmosphere, "So… where is this ice castle we're going to."

A bit of the excited life in Aaravi's normal demeanor returns with Oz's question, "I found a map to up North when I was fighting some low level goblins a few weeks ago. It led to a huge castle made of ice. I was going to go explore it by myself, but me and Dahlia had been discussing going adventuring together for a while. I figured that the ice palace was probably the perfect opportunity. Did you know that Dahlia's never seen snow before? Apparently Hell's just flames, flames, and more flames."

Oz wonders if Damien's ever seen snow before as he responds, "I've been to hell before and I can one 100% vouch for Dahlia. It is nothing but fire."

"Huh, I thought you were an Earth-born demon," Aaravi frowns, "I didn't know you were from Hell like Dahlia. You act so differently than her."

Oz only pauses for a second when Aaravi calls him a demon before thinking up a quick excuse, "T-That's because I'm not from Hell. It's just t-that Damien's taken me there before."

"Oh... yeah," Aaravi sounds a little less enthused, "I bet that psychotic fire truck showed you all over Hell didn't he. Plains of sinners and all."

Oz is about to ask Aaravi what's wrong, but Norah beats him to it. The fairy darts in front of Aaravi's face to get eye to eye contact. Without pausing, as if she was already used to it, Aaravi keeps walking. Instead of getting out of the way, Norah flies backwards directly in front of Aaravi.

"Why is it you refer to this 'Damien' in such a bad connotation when Dahlia and Oz are referred to as your friends?" Norah asks curiously, "You also seemed to get pretty defensive at the fact Oz has been there yet you have not."

"I refer to that leather skinned ladybug as bad because he is! He's monster scum and deserves to be slain and brought to justice," Aaravi falters a little near the end, "I'd kill him right now if it weren't for Dahlia calling dibs on his head!"

Oz ignores the threats on Damien's life. If Aaravi and Dahlia ever really tried to kill the demon, Oz would be there, but Damien can usually fight his own battles pretty well. Plus, almost everyone Oz hangs out with has threatened to kill another at least once. It's a normal everyday thing.

"Ohhh! This is a breakthrough," Norah squeals, "By calling this person monster scum and saying he deserves justice paints the idea that all monsters are guilty and must be punished for something, but by that logic, Oz and Dahlia also deserve to be punished."

"I- GAH! SHUT UP! Dahlia and Oz are the exception to the rule!" Aaravi practically shouts, "Monsters like Damien and Liam don't deserve to live!"

"Little strong there," Oz warns.

Aaravi frowns at Oz, "Sorry."

"No, no, no. We were on the right track there for a moment," Norah frowns, "Let me ask you this Aaravi. What is it that this Damien and Liam did to deserve a death sentence?"

"Damien is a terrible demon that causes chaos and pain wherever he goes a-and Liam w-well Liam-" Aaravi looks at a loss for words.

"You can't think of anything, can you?" Norah smirks, "See? You're biased between friend and foe! I bet this Damien person isn't even as bad as you say he is!"

"Oh no, Aaravi's right," Oz contradicts.

"...What?" Norah looks confused.

"Damien is banned from twenty different restaurant chains, has caused twenty different national emergencies, and has even murdered a small third world country. As far as good people go, he's not the best," Oz replies happily, "But then again, everyone at Spooky High has crooked morals, so it's kinda normal."

Oz's statement seems to take Norah back so much that she forgets she's supposed to be asking Aaravi questions. Taking her chance, Aaravi grabs Oz's wrist and books it away from the fairy. Aaravi gets about two halls away and turns multiple corners before stopping her deadsprint.

Breathing heavily Aaravi looks triumphant, "We finally got rid of her. Thank god! Come one, we can circle around the school and meet up with Dahlia outside."

"What about the teleporter thing you had in your locker?" Oz tilts his head curiously, "Don't you need that to get to the ice castle?"

"I would never keep something of such importance in my locker!" Aaravi laughs as she reaches into her cloak and pulls out a shiny blue crystal, "That was all a ruse to get rid of that annoying fairy! Since she lost us, she'll be heading to my locker to catch us! To avoid her, all we have to do is avoid that hallway. IT'S THE PERFECT PLAN! Now come on, Dahlia's probably waiting outside!"

Yet again, Aaravi grabs Oz's wrist. She quickly tucks the crystal back in her cloaks before sprinting down the hallway away from her locker and towards the nearest exit. As they get closer to the door, the Interdimensional Prince blocks their path. 

"Oz!" The prince bows to Oz while Aaravi scowls at him in annoyance, "How coincidental we'd meet up like this. I've been meaning to talk to you my inky sweet. You see, I haven't been able to get you off my- GAH"

With no warning whatsoever, Aaravi decks the Prince and runs around him, still dragging Oz along.

"Woah! Why did you do that?! He was just talking!" Oz is shocked to say the least.

"Every moment we waste getting out of here is a moment that green snotball can find us," Aaravi explains, "That self-centered prick was distracting us. I'm sure he'll be fine. I didn't even hit him that hard. He'll just consider it playing hard to get or something stupid like that."

"Why couldn't you have just said we were busy then?" Oz asks.

"Because we're in a rush and that he doesn't take no for an answer if I've seen how he acts around the other students correctly," Aaravi and Oz make it to the front door and burst out, "Dahlia! I lost that stupid fairy so we can-"

Aaravi stops dead in her tracks when she looks up to see Norah floating around Dahlia's head happily spouting off question after question. Dahlia doesn't seem to even be acknowledging the Norah's presence as she waves to Oz and Aaravi.

"Aaravi! Oz! Did you get the crystal?" Dahlia asks.

"YOU!" Aaravi ignores Dahlia's question in favor of pointing at Norah, "How did you- We didn't- Why are you here?!"

Norah smiles innocently as she starts circling Aaravi's head again, "When you and your friend ran off, I circled back around to catch Dahlia in home economics! Now, can I ask why you felt the need to run away when I started to question your belief system?"

"No," Aaravi glares at Norah before walking up to Dahlia.

It's at this point that Oz notices the difference in Dahlia's outfit. She's wearing a dark blue puffy jacket over her normal training bra and a beanie on her head. It makes Oz feel a bit underdressed, but it's not like he's affected by regular temperatures cold and needs one.

"I like your jacket," Oz compliments the blue demon.

"Thanks! I stole it from an elf trying to make shoes," Dahlia smiles. Then, she squints at Oz, "Do you not need a jacket too?"

"W-Well, us fearlings are made of dark matter, so we don't really feel external temperatures," Oz partially fibs.

"Hmmm, very interesting," Dahlia nods, "That is a very useful ability! Perfect for combat in extreme-"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!" Both Oz and Dahlia look up to see Aaravi yelling at Norah yet again.

"Aaravi! Please won't you just talk things out with me?" Norah begs, "All it takes is a couple hours of discussion and your feelings and I promise I can make you feel better."

Aaravi ignores Norah in favor of turning to Dahlia and Oz, "Are you guys ready to go? I really want to beat the crap out of some ice nymphs right now."

"Yes! Let us go vanquish our enemies in battle!" Dahlia shouts, raising her fist in the air.

Not to feel out of place, Oz jumps on the encouragement bandwagon, "Y-Yeah! Let's go burn that castle to the ground!"

The moment the words leave Oz's mouth he wonders if Damien hasn't been rubbing off on him a little.

"YES! FIRE TO OUR ENEMIES!" Dahlia shouts, "WE SHALL DESTROY THEIR HOPES AND DREAMS AND THEN BURN THEIR BODIES!"

"And while we do that we can all talk about all our own hopes and dreams!" Norah shouts.

"YEAH- wait what?" Dahlia stops.

"Yes, this is perfect!" Norah flutters around excitedly, "As you get out all your inner agressions on these people, you can reflect on what you want in life and discuss it! It's a perfect trust exercise! Let's go!"

Aaravi grumbles multiple curses under her breath as she fishes the teleportation crystal from her cloak. With a little more shuffling through her clothing she pulls out a potion. 

"What's the potion for?" Oz asks curiously.

"It's a magical temperature shield, it'll keep us from dying if an Ice Mage tries to freeze our hearts."

Oz doesn't have a mortal soul or heart to get frozen, but he appreciates the extra protection anyways. Aaravi throws the bottle on the ground at her feet and it busts into a cloud of periwinkle smoke around all three monsters and Norah. 

"Okay, now that we don't have to worry about TPK let's get going."

"TPK?" Oz parrots.

Dahlia shakes his head at Aaravi smiling fondly as she explains, "Total party kill. She doesn't want us all to die at once."

Aaravi turns a light pink as she crosses her arms, "Any party that can die in one hit is a disgrace to adventurers everywhere! I'm not going to let my reputation in the adventurer's guild get wrecked because you guys don't know the basics of magic match ups."

"Why do you feel the need to belittle your friends when you're telling them that you wish to protect them?" Norah butts in, "Do you think that they won't appreciate your effort? Or do you think they just don't care? Aaravi, why do you put up so many walls to protect yourself?"

"Shut it. I've already told you to call me Slayer. Only my friends call me Aaravi," Aaravi glares at Norah again as she lifts up the blue crystal in her hands and tosses it straight up in the air, "We're leaving now."

Instead of falling back to the ground, the blue crystal floats in the air. It lets loose a blinding light that blinds everyone except Oz. Said eldritch being watches as the crystal emitting the light shatters before the whole world spins around him. As the light subsides, the group appears on a snowy mountain side. It comes as a second surprise to Oz when his feet sink into the ground up to his ankles. Looking down, Oz realizes it's because of the snow piled on the ground.

"Wow! So this is what snow looks like!?" Dahlia puts her hands out to catch the white flakes in her hands, "This is amazing! Does it rain from the sky like this all the time?!"

Aaravi smiles, "In some places. In others it only happens around the winter time. Like how it usually snows around Spooky High each year around Christmas."

"It snows at Spooky High?!" Dahlia says excitedly, "In Hell the only good thing that happens in the winter is the month of starving and the harvest of elder souls!"

"That sounds… festive," Oz comments.

"It's not as great as it sounds," Dahlia frowns, "It's just a lot of screaming and begging. Gets kinda annoying by the fifth day."

Slayer looks taken back, "Fifth day?"

Oz catches himself before he personally explains the whole event to Aaravi. He's not supposed to know that about Hell after all. 

"Yes, the whole reaping lasts two weeks in total," Dalia looks around the mountain side while she talks, "You see, we torture souls for a couple thousand years before they get too numb to feel anything and we have to- oh. That's huge."

Oz follows Dahlia's gaze and his eyes widen. Not far off in the distance stands the ice castle Aaravi was talking about raiding. Three pillars stood mighty and proud as tiny storm clouds seemed to patrol the castle's borders. Even from here Oz could see monsters of some kind guarding the giant ice doors. The whole palace seemed to sparkle in the sunlight. It almost looked directly from a fairy tail, or video game.

"I see you guys finally spotted the castle," Aaravi smirks, "It's pretty grand isn't it? Bet the stuff inside is awesome right?"

"Oh hell yeah I bet it does," Dahlia grins, "Come on! I wanna go knock some heads! This'll be perfect practice for my final battle against the LaVeys!"

Without as much as a nod in the other's direction, Dahlia and Aaravi book it towards the castle in another dead sprint. This again reinserts that Oz is the third wheel here. Well, Norah's actually the real third wheel, so Oz is like the extra wheel you keep in case one of the three main wheels breaks. Yeah, that summarizes Oz's existence pretty well.

Oz sighs as he watches them fade into the distance, "And there they go…"

"W-Wait! S-Slow down!" Oz watches as Norah attempts to fly after the two monsters only to get blown back by the high speed wind and hit by the falling snow as she shivers, "A-Aaravi! Y-You have to f-face your i-inner d-demons! Y-You- *huff* can't *huff* run… *huff* away from-"

Oz might be an accessory to thousands of murders and fires, but that doesn't change the fact he's a nice person deep down. So, with careful hands, Oz cups Norah in his hands to shield her from the extreme conditions of the mountains. 

"Are you okay with taking a shortcut?" Oz gazes down at Norah askently.

"Y-Yes," Norah's tiny voice pipes up.

"Okay then," Oz covers the tiny fairy with both his hands and sinks into his own shadow before appearing outside the ice castle.

Estimating that Dahlia and Aaravi will be there in a few minutes tops. Oz quickly lets Norah fly from his hands and hover in the air again. She's still shivering, but most of the wind and snow is blocked out by Oz's dark matter frame.

"T-Thank y-you," Norah smiles.

"Do me a favor and say you flew into the void with me if Aaravi asks how you got here," Oz frowns, "She'll get very shouty otherwise."

"O-Only i-if you help m-me h-help A-Aaravi!" Norah squeals.

"W-What?! I'm not doing that!" Oz's brows furrow, "You've been annoying her non-stop for however long ago she found you!"

"T-To help her with her issues!" Norah shouts, "I'm c-certified to help troubled teens! She is a t-troubled teen! I can't leave h-her be until she's in the right state of m-mind and is working on improving h-herself!"

"Look, I get that you want to help, but you're doing an awful job at it," Oz crosses his arms, "Where did you even get certified to be a therapist? All you're doing is making Aaravi not want help from you."

"H-Hey! I have a Masters D-Degree in counseling from Pixtopia University!" Norah shouts, "A-And Aaravi just needs a good push in the right direction from a p-professional! Then she can seriously r-reflect on whatever t-trauma she had as a child and truly e-express her emotions in a way that doesn't further b-bad habits!"

Oz levels Norah with an unimpressed glare, "How can you just tell that someone has had past trauma? Unless you have some type of psychic abilities that seems impossible."

"Oh, ho, ho! That's where a degree comes in handy!" Norah excitedly starts, somehow overwriting her stuttering from the cold, "Many teenagers and children showcase very noticeable behaviors when dealing with childhood trauma. Aaravi exhibits many of these behaviors. Of course some are more prominent than others. Her constant need to stay alert is one. Her inability to trust most people with her personal details no matter how small, such as her name, is another. Plus there's her trouble forming proper relationships with her peers through normal interactions, her insistence that she's different from everyone else, her risk-taking behavior, and even her unhealthy attachment to this Liam and Damien character. Honestly, anybody who knows the basics of human behavior could figure out she has serious problems!"

Oz gets lost halfway through the word vomit, but he gets Norah's point nonetheless, "O-Okay, okay, okay! I get your point, but why do you want  _ me  _ to help!? I'm a highschool monster with literally zero experience in the field of psychology."

Oz does not count the years of tormenting people on their separate mental illnesses and traumas in a way that perfectly destroys their minds and manipulates their actions as experience. After all, Oz was able to do that because he dug around people's minds. Which is something he gave up a while ago.

Norah looks a little shy as she answers Oz's question, "W-Well as a mature adult, I've realized that while I might have the expertise in spotting trauma, I don't have much hands on experience. Y-You, heh, might be right about the whole being a little too insistent, but I don't really know how to… uh turn it off? Can you just help me out? You'll be like my wingman or something!"

"Look, everything you said makes sense. You honestly admitted you were wrong and asked for help which is a pretty hard thing to do," Norah's eyes light up at Oz's words and he quickly backtracks, "But I am probably the last person you should ask for help in this kind of situation."

"I  _ need  _ your help!" Norah looks desperate now, "I… I'm certain I've already ruined my chances with Dahlia, but you have an open mind. You want to help Aaravi right? She's your friend right?"

"Y-Yes but," Oz is feeling pressured now, "I really don't think now is the best time to-"

"It's now or never!" Norah sounds determined, "This is the perfect opportunity to subtly get her to open up a little in a natural environment, but YOU have to be the one to do it! She won't listen to a thing I say!"

"I-I…" Oz doesn't know how to handle this.

"If you want Aaravi to be happy and have a long happy life then you'll help me!" Norah insists, "She needs help and you're the person to give it!"

Oz finally crumbles, "...fine. I'll help you, but do not refer to me as your wingman."

Norah's grins dims a little, but quickly lights up twice the amount, "THANK YOU! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Okay, Dahlia and Aaravi will be here soon," Oz is so conflicted right now, "What do you want me to do?"

"Uhhh, suggest that you all have a sharing circle and bring up the topic of horrible events in your childhood," Norah suggests.

"Wow, you really weren't kidding about the lack of subtlety, were you? I am not doing that for  _ multiple  _ reasons," Oz pinches the bridge of his nose and brainstorms for a few seconds, "Y'know what? Here's the plan. You don't say a word to Aaravi and Dahlia unless spoken to, and I'm going to wing it."

Oz figures he can't do worse than what Norah's already done and there is no way he's gonna be able to come up with an even halfway decent plan, so the winging it thing is his best bet. He's just going to stand by and take a chance if it appears and hopefully not ruin friendships in the process.

"Are you sure that's-"

"Dahlia!" Oz looks up to see Aaravi and Dahlia approaching, laughing their heads off, "Don't run like that! You can't see what's under the snow! You're going to trip and fall if there's a rock or-"

At that moment, Dahlia lurches forward and faceplants into the snow with a very undignified screech. Aaravi laughs in the most genuine way Oz has ever heard from her as she rushes up to Dahlia.

"Are you alright Dal?" Aaravi stops laughing long enough to offer Dahlia a hand.

"I'm fine," Dahlia coughs up some snow and wipes the white powder from her face before accepting the offered hand, "You didn't tell me that snow could be so deceptive!"

"I tried to warn you!" Aaravi laughs, "I just didn't do it in time."

"Ha, ha, ha. Laugh at your teammate's misfortune," Despite her words, Dahlia looks very amused, "Say, how much HP do you think that fall took?"

Aavari snorts, "What? So now you're teasing me because I didn't warn you about the snow! Walk it off Dal! Thay couldn't have been more than two damage points. You might as well have scraped your knee!"

As Dahlia and Aaravi continue to joke around, Oz turns to Norah, "No speaking unless spoken to. Let me handle this."

"...I asked for your help, so I'll trust you," Norah nods hesitantly, "Tell me if you need assistance! I want to help Aaravi just as much as you! Probably more!"

Instead of answering, Oz just nods at the fairy. Why does everything always have to get so complicated when Oz is around? All he wanted to do was avoid getting into another food fight. Now he's involved with a scheme to get Aaravi to reveal her most private thoughts and discuss her childhood to attempt and get her proper support. Here Oz thought the first few weeks after school started back up would be peaceful. It was his own fault for settling into a false sense of security.

"Hey! How did you get here first?!" Oz looks up to see Dahlia shouting at him.

"Dahlia, he can teleport," Aaravi rolls her eyes, "I don't know how he couldn't have got here- ... **_Norah_ ** ."

"Hello Aaravi! It was nice watching you and your friend interact just now," Norah smiles as she floats closer to the two monsters, "Would you mind us discussing why your attitude shifted so suddenly when you thought I was gone? Do you have a dislike for adult figures in general or is it just my presence?"

"It's you," Aaravi growls, "Please feel free to take it personally."

Oz shakes his head. Maybe he should have specified that when somebody talked to her, she was not allowed to reply with any personal questions. Welp, too late to tell her that now.

"How did a tiny fairy like you fly through all this wind and snow?" Dahlia asks.

"I didn't," Norah shakes her head, "I was trying to follow you and Aaravi when Oz saw me struggling and-"

Realizing Norah already forgot about what Oz told her to say, he jumps in, "I went to shadow hop and Norah followed me into the void and tagged along."

"No I did-" Norah looks at Oz and her eyes light up as she remembers what he asked of her earlier, "I mean, of course I did! I can't help you work through your problems if you leave me behind!"

"Of course, you're annoying, nosy, and a stowaway," Aaravi hisses and throws her arms in the air.

"Hey, it's fine," Oz tries to mediate, "How about we just forget about Norah and figure out how to get into the castle."

"Oz is right! I am itching to throw some punches against those goons in there!" Dahlia's bloodthirsty smile is surprisingly similar to Damien's.

With the mention of infiltrating the castle and fighting, Aaravi's scowl softens and slowly turns to a look of excitement, "Okay, you guys are right. Of course you are, you're in my party."

Norah looks like she's itching to say something, but a warning glare from Oz keeps her quiet. However, it does not stop her from floating up and down anxiously.

"Do you have a plan to get in?" Oz asks.

"Uhhh, Aaravi's my advisor," Dahlia points her thumb at the girl, "She's the one who comes up with the plans and best ideas."

"Ok, yeah. I got a plan," Aaravi nods, "Follow me."

Aaravi crouches down and gestures for Oz and Dahlia to do the same. Once all three monsters are low to the ground, they creep towards the castle and hide behind a bunch of bushes. Their position is close enough to the giant doors to see the guards up close, but far enough away that their words couldn't be heard. 

Aaravi grabs a nearby stick from the ground and draws a tiny replica of the castle in the snow. She draws three little stick figures and then starts talking.

"When I found this place, I did a bit of recconasance. I came up with three different strategies. One, we sneak in through the barracks in the back and take out the boss before all his minions," As she explains, Aaravi draws lines in the snow to illustrate what they would have to do, "Two, we try to sneak into the treasury and loot the place before taking anybody out at all. Three, we rush through the front door and tank the low level minions and spellcasters with brute force. I'll leave it up to you as my party to decide what we do."

"THREE!" Dahlia shouts, "I like number three! I get to punch more people in that option."

Oz would normally go for a route similar to number one, but Dahlia and Aaravi don't look like they're up for sneaking around right now. At least, that's what their bloodthirsty gazes say.

"I-I guess I vote n-number three too then," Oz relents.

"YESSS!" Dahlia shouts. Oz can't help thinking that it's a miracle they haven't been spotted yet, "We shall both bath in the frigid blood of our enemies!"

Aaravi sends Dahlia a fond glance and a soft smile as the demon passionately shouts. The look goes unnoticed by the demon but not by Oz and Norah. When Dahlia stops shouting and turns to Aaravi questioningly, the girl looks startled.

"Sorry. What did you say?" Aaravi asks for Dahlia to repeat whatever she just said.

"I know you always come up with detailed plans!" Dahlia repeats without a bit of hesitation, "So I wanted to know what it is this time!"

"Yeah, the plan, you guys need to know what to do," Aaravi nods, "So, since we went with option three, we're going to melt the front door down with my fire blade and then storm the first floor. Once all the minions there are taken care of, we'll make our way up the levels and take out everyone on the second and third. Then, when we make it up to the top floor, it'll be an arena style battle against a high rank ice mage. Using my detailed level deducing system and intel I gathered from, I evaluated the mage is level 72. Once she's down the castle's for taking!"

"What's your level deducing system?" Oz asks.

"Aaravi made this super amazing system that decides how powerful something or somebody is," Dahlia smiles, "I'm level 66! Three levels higher that LaVey, and the same as Aaravi!"

"Yes," Aaravi blushes at the praise, "It's a set of mathematical equations that take into account somebody's magic output, special skill set, combat ability, stealth, IQ, experience, and other capabilities to give them a numerical power number that sets them in a level."

"That's amazing! You made that whole system yourself?!" Color Oz impressed. He can't even hold back his curiosity and asks, "What level am I?"

"Oh, well, your level isn't exact yet because I haven't been able to observe you fighting or seen most of your abilities, but considering the fact you've openly stood against me in combat, survived multiple outings with Damien, and have teleportation I've put you at a level 68."

"Wait? I'm at a higher level than the both of you?" Oz asks, shocked.

Of course Oz is more powerful than Aaravi and Dahlia by a long shot, but it's still surprising that two monsters as prideful as Aaravi and Dahlia would consider Oz stronger than them.

"Yeah! Why is Oz a higher level than us?" Dahlia also seems shocked.

"A higher number just means that in a one on one fight it would be difficult for the weaker enemy," Aaravi explains to Dahlia, "Just because Oz is stronger than us doesn't mean that both you and me couldn't take him on. It's the same thing with the mage we're about to take on. Sure, they might be higher level, but there's three of us. We can take her down together."

Oz glances at Norah to see her smiling ear to ear as she writes things down. She's murmuring under her breath but Oz can only hear bits and pieces, even with super hearing.

"...good support system...risk taking behavior is moderated…might have an interest in her friend…hobbies are questionable...mention mathematics as a subject breaker…not against teamwork..." It's at this point that Oz notices that Aaravi is explaining something important and that he's gotten distracted.

Oz has to tune Norah out so he can hear what Aaravi's talking about, "Okay, so we all know what route to take. I already have my fire blade ready, so at the count of ten, we'll all run, rush the guards at the door and break in. Everybody ready?"

"Yes!" Dahlia looks ready to punch something already.

"Of course!" Everyone ignores Norah.

"I'm good," Oz nods.

"Okay then," Aaravi pulls out a red blade and sets her sights on the castle, "1…"

Oz considers how he's supposed to turn this whole thing into an intervention for Aaravi and finds he can't come up with anything. He sighs as he turns to the palace door and puts that thought process on the back burner. He was about to fight and that needed Oz's full attention.

"...2…3..." Aaravi starts off slow.

Dahlia cracks her knuckles and lets out a low chuckle of anticipation. The demon's whole body looks ready to sprint towards the door at the drop of a dime. The snow and wind only cause the monsters positions to seem more dramatic.

"...4...5…6..." Aaravi speeds up just a bit.

Aaravi's red blade subtly glows before tiny blue flames spring up around the edges. The snow on the ground and on Aaravi's cloak starts to melt from the ethereal flames. Oz can only assume the cloak Aaravi's wearing isn't caught on fire because of some type of enchantment she's cast on it.

"...7...8…9…" Aaravi's voice goes dark.

Everyone in the bush tenses as they soak in the final moments of peace before the fight begins. Despite not usually going for such a frontal and abrasive approach in fights, Oz finds himself a little excited. 

"10!" Aaravi shouts and all three monsters spring from the bushes and sprint towards the doors.

The closer Oz gets, the better look he gets at the people blocking the door. Most of them have spiky jagged armor, probably made of ice, and frosty hair and blue eyes. All of these soldiers have some type of weapon, whether it be a battle axe, javelin, or sword. However, unlike these others, there were a few guards much larger than the others that looked to be entirely made from ice. With a bit of thinking, Oz remembers Aaravi referring to the soldiers in the castle as ice nymphs. With a little bit of deductibility, Oz figures that the big ones must be ice golems.

The guards in front of the castle start to point and shout, but by the time they figure out they need to do something, the group is upon them. Dahlia takes the first hit and smashes the noses of two guards in one solid swing. Aaravi follows behind shortly after and slices an ice golem in half. Oz stands behind and catches any guard trying to escape and get help. Oz feasts on their fear in the void and then drops them in a heap. In a matter of seconds, all the guards are dealt with. 

"Okay, time to destroy an obstacle!" Aaravi shouts as her blade burns bright blue and she slashes the ice door open with impressive accuracy, leaving a perfectly square shaped hole for everyone to get in.

More guards and soldiers on the inside call out in alarm and rush towards the door to see what's going on. Not giving them a chance to do much, Aaravi jumps through the hole she just made and starts carving people up left and right. Dahlia follows closely behind, throwing punches like there's no tomorrow. Again, Oz follows behind more slowly and brutally picks off the stragglers so as to not get in the way of Dahlia and Aarvavi. 

The two fight in sync and watching them work together and follow through with each other's moves is like watching professional performers dance. Some of the more stupid guards pause to watch the fight instead of running or joining in. Actually, they might be the smart ones. They aren't crying in a heat on the ground or bleeding out after all.

Oz tunes out the noise of death and fighting to properly look around the inside of the castle. The walls and pillars were a sparkling blue and the lights in the room were all made of glowing crystals. The ice walls were all opaque except for the… oh no. Oz could see through the ceiling into the third and fourth floor. This is where Oz realizes things probably aren't going to go as planned. Especially when he sees people looking back down at him and starts running for the stairs.

"Oh… that's no good," Oz turns to Dahlia and Aaravi as they dispatch the last ice golem in the room, "Guys, look up."

Both the girls follow Oz's instructions instantly and see the problem. Norah flutters around nervously as she glances at the bodies around her and only follows Oz's instructions after Aaravi starts cursing.

"Shit, all the enemies from the second and third floor are going to storm us," Aaravi looks panicked but stays calm under pressure, "Okay, there's no way all three of us can take that many people on..."

Seeing as Aaravi's coming up with a plan, Oz doesn't offer up the fact that he could probably take them all out if things got sticky. She probably has everything under control.

"We can't risk going up the staircase and getting trapped between both floors," Aaravi looks thoughtful for a while before her eyes light up, "I've got an idea!"

Just as Aaravi says this, people from the second and third floor start pouring from the staircases. Norah looks even more scared now. Oz is very tempted to just teleport everyone outside the castle or directly up to the top floor, but decides to give Aaravi the time to enact her plan. 

"Okay, well you better tell us quickly," Oz shouts as the first wave of guards fall though their own shadows and more keep coming. 

Instead of answering, Aaravi pulls some potions out of her cloak and throws them at the staircases on both sides of the room. Whatever they did delays the soldiers from getting closer. Aaravi then sheaths her flaming sword and pulls out a… grappling gun? She pulls the trigger on the gun and the hook glows a furious red that Oz recognizes a superheated metal. The hook shoots through the ice ceiling as if it was nothing and the only way Oz knows it stopped moving at all was because the rope attached to it stops moving. Aaravi reaches back into her cloak and tosses Dahlia a pair of silver brass knuckles while they are both side by side.

"OZ! Teleport to the third floor! Dahlia, when I pull the trigger again it's going to pull us to whatever the hook hit. Hopefully that'll be on the third floor. Those brass knuckles will destroy anything you punch them with, but they only last one punch," Aaravi explains quickly as the soldiers start to finally get closer. She grabs Dahlia's waist and looks up, "There's two floors made of solid ice, make each punch count."

Dahlia's eyes light up as she puts both brass knuckles and rubs her hands together, "HAHA! YOU CAN COUNT ON ME! I'LL SHOW THAT CEILING WHO'S BOSS!"

The soldiers are getting even closer to the two girls, so without warning, Aaravi pulls the trigger and her gun yanks both her and Dahlia into the air almost effortlessly. Everyone in the room seems to stop as the two girls hurtle towards the ceiling. Just in time, Dahlia uses her right fist to punch a giant hole into the solid ice, Aaravi holding her tightly for a while. There's another loud crash from the second floor that Oz can only assume is them breaking through to the third floor.

Once the girls are gone, all the people in the room's attention shifts to Oz in an instant. Norah abandons Oz to the crowd in favor of yelping and flying through the holes Dahlia created and getting away.

"H-Hello. Nice to meet you...uhhh," Oz shrinks under all the attention he's getting and quickly sinks into his shadow, "Goodbye!"

Everyone present converges on Oz, but he's already long gone by the time anyone makes it to where he was at. Oz appears on the third floor and no sooner does he even steady himself as he is tugged into a vault by none other than Dahlia. Oz knows it's a vault because of the huge door Aaravi closes and locks behind him along with all the gold piled in the room.

"Where are we?" Oz asks.

"The treasury," Aaravi doesn't even look in Oz's direction as she answers. She's too busy with her ears to the door, probably listening to see if anybody's come for them yet.

"We all almost died! We almost got sliced and diced into tiny balls of meat because of this silly little adventure!" Norah shouts, making her presence known to all the monsters present in the room, "T-That was the most dangerous, risky, and self endangering thing I've ever seen! I can't in good conscience let any of you continue this!"

"HEY! Shut up wimp!" Dahlia scowls, "We aren't cowards that run from a little danger at the first sign of trouble! Aaravi's an adventurer and I'm the future ruler of Hell! There is no way we're backing down just because numbers aren't on our side! Right Aaravi?!"

Dahlia, Oz, and Norah all look in Aaravi's direction to see her with a deep look of shame. Her hands are hidden behind her back sadly and she bows her head.

"...Aaravi? What's wrong?" Dahlia sounds duly concerned for her friend.

"I'm sorry," Is all Aaravi responds with, "I'm sorry that I dragged you into this place and without a half decent plan and it almost got us caught. I spent too much time observing the castle and I somehow didn't notice that the floors and ceilings were see through. This is all my fault and I understand if you would like to leave my party."

"Why are you- it's not your-" Dahlia seems to have blown a fuse as she tries to understand what her friend just said, "WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING?! You're the one that saved us!"

Although Oz technically saved himself, he agrees with Dahlia's sentiment with a nod, "Y-Yeah! If it weren't for you we'd all be getting overwhelmed on the first floor!"

"But the plan-" Dahlia doesn't let Aaravi finish.

"Plans," Dahlia growls, "Never survive contact with the enemy. That's one of the first things you ever said to me when we met and brainstormed the downfall of the LaVey family together. My plans go wrong all the time too! That's no reason to back out and push us away is it?"

Aaravi looks taken aback by Dahlia's sudden bout of wisdom. Oz can say if he has an actual jaw it would be hitting the floor right now. Oz knew Dahlia could always spin a good inspirational quote or speech in dodgeball, but the real thing under pressure is ten times more effective. 

Still, despite the speech, Aaravi still looks upset, "But this was supposed to be different! I was supposed to prove that stupid fairy wrong and show you how perfectly fine I am! It was simple, get in, defeat a mage, get out! That's all I had to do to prove I'm completely normal and not crazy, but I screwed myself over and now we're locked in a vault while a bunch of magic ice cubes are trying to kill us!"

As if to prove her point, shouts and banging is heard on the other side of the vault door. Aaravi stomps around the room and starts kicking over piles of gold coins and other valuables.

"Is that what this is about?" Norah asks surprisingly soft, "You wanted to prove me wrong? You wanted to show you're friends that none of the things I said were true?"

"No! I wanted to prove it to everyone! I can't be weak! I can't let one stupid fairy's words effect me!" Aaravi scowls, "I'm the Slayer! I kill monsters without mercy! I enter dungeons without fear! I don't have any weaknesses! Especially not some stupid problems in my head because of my family! I'm not some child who misses their mommy and daddy!"

Dahlia and Oz are too shocked by Aaravi's outburst to properly console her. Norah on the other hand, has been preparing for the moment the last few weeks and starts talking.

"This doesn't need to be about your family Aaravi. You don't even need to tell me anything," Norah sighs, "But I think you're very scared that your friends will leave you if you don't prove your good enough because someone else left you."

Aaravi's breath hitches and she backs away from Norah, "I-I don't know-"

"You don't have to say anything Aaravi," Norah smiles warmly, "From what I've seen in the last few weeks you don't trust people easily. I know you don't trust me to help you, and I haven't given you any good reasons to in the time we've known each other, but I think I can help. You don't need to let whatever happened in your past dictate how you see people now. Your friends will not leave you because they think you're not good enough and not all monsters are out to get you because of one in the past. You don't need to think of yourself as different from all your other friends just because you want to isolate yourself. Most importantly, you do not need to think your trauma makes you not normal! Honestly, I could probably pick up some type of problems from every single kid in your school. I mean seriously, does your school even have a councillor?!"

When Norah's finished, Aaravi looks close to tears. Dahlia recovers from her stupor first and rushes towards the girl quickly. She wraps Aaravi in a bone crushing hug and doesn't let go.

"Your my best advisor Aaravi," Dahlia starts, "But you're also my best friend! You listen to me talk about all my new workout routines without getting annoyed, spar with me even when your busy, and help me with my stupid plans even if you already know they won't work! You don't have to worry about me thinking any less of you no matter what!"

The dam finally breaks. As Aaravi starts to cry, Dahlia tucks her head into the crook of her shoulder and whispers things Oz can't hear. The whole thing is so soft and gentle for Dahlia and for the thousandth time today Oz feels like he shouldn't be here. This is private and he shouldn't be involved. However, watching the two, Oz feels something in his heart get heavy as if something was missing. 

"I guess the winging it thing worked huh?" Oz startles to see Norah floating near his head whispering.

"Y-Yeah. I guess," Oz makes sure to only speak to Norah so as to not further intrude on the other two monster's moment.

"You make a good partner. Ever think of going into psychology?" Norah asks quietly.

Oz chuckles awkwardly, "No."

"Hmph. Too bad," Norah pouts, "You're pretty good at this."

Oz wants to point out that he didn't do anything at all. He only sat still and went along for the ride, but Oz had a feeling that contradicting Norah would be more trouble than it's worth. When the fairy shows no signs of continuing the conversation, Oz turns his attention back to the other two monsters in the room.

"It's alright Aaravi, we'll find a way out of the treasury and then we'll go get lunch together," Dahlia smiles, "Hell, we don't even have to go fight the ice mage if you don't want to."

"Wait… the TREASURY!" Aaravi tugs away from Dahlia and her eyes light up despite the tear trails, "We're in the treasury!"

"Yes?" Dahlia looks confused by Aaravi's sudden reaction, "We are?"

"We're in a magical castle full of powerful magic users," Aaravi explains as she gets down on her knees and starts scrambling around, "Where would a mage who kills adventurers for a living keep all her best magical items that she's stolen?"

"The treasury!" Oz catches on moments before Dahlia.

"Exactly! Aha!" Aaravi pulls a sword from piles of coins, "Score! Another fire blade! Everyone, gear up! If we use the stuff in here right, we might not even need to throw a punch to win."

"Punching is still optional though right?" Dahlia asks as she drops to the ground looking for weapons as well.

"Of course!" Aaravi laughs as she tosses Dahlia a drawstring back, "Look what's in there!"

Dahlia opens the bag and pulls out another pair brass knuckles, "What are these?"

"Wild Magic Knuckle Busters," Aaravi explains as she puts item after item into her cloak, "When you punch someone they can do anything from lighting them on fire to turning your enemy into a wild Manticore that'll fight for you!"

"OH YEAH!" Dahlia quickly puts the knuckles on before continuing to look at the piles of wealth.

Oz goes along with the girls but somehow only manages to find a weird rabbit foot, a black blanket, and a satchell of marbles. It was all kinda lame compared to what everyone else found. Dahlia found a bat to go with her brass knuckles that breaks every bone in somebody's body the moment it comes in contact with them. Aaravi found multiple amulets of power, healing solutions, and even a bag of biological explosives.

"What did you find in Oz?" Dahlia asks as all three monsters step up to the door, ready to go into battle again.

Oz sighs, "Nothing good. Just this blanket-"

Aaravi gasps, "A cloak of invisibility!"

"That's what this is?" Oz looks at the blanket and shrugs, "That's better than a blanket. The only other two things I got was this rabbit's foot and bag of marbles."

"Hmmm," Aaravi looks at the items more closely, "Can I see those?"

"Sure," Oz hands the items over willingly and Aaravi quickly goes to investigate them.

She looks thoroughly confused by the rabbit foot and hands it back to Oz almost as quickly as she got it, "I have no idea what this is."

Aaravi moves on to examine the bag by testing its weight before slowly pouring a couple of the marbles out. She looks at them for a moment before pouring all the tiny glass balls in except one. She takes the single marble and holds it up to the light in the room. The moment she does this her eyes widen with shock as she hastily puts the marble back in the bag.

"This is a bag full of Sumarien holding marbles!" Aaravi says in awe, "Each marble can hold any creature no matter what size it is by creating a pocket dimension for it until the owner of the bag wishes for them for them to be released! The one I was looking at had a Unicorn in it! Do you know what that means?!" 

Oz, Norah, and Dahlia all shake their heads, "Nope. Not a bit. What are pocket dimensions?"

"Unicorns have been extinct since the twelfth century! We've just found a bag full of monster species long past!" Aaravi shouts, "Do you not get how big this is!?"

"WE GET TO USE THOSE MARBLES TO ABSOLUTELY WRECK THE ICE BASTARDS OUTSIDE THIS DOOR'S ASSES?!" Dahlia shouts.

"What are you talking about?! We are not going to use these monsters too-"

Five minutes later…

"See Aaravi? I told you releasing everything in those marbles would turn out fine!" Dahlia shouts over the chaos.

Oz watches as a T-Rex crushes an ice golem in it's jaws. A Unicorn rushes past him and impales a nymph. A Leshi is busy tickling a group of soldiers to death as they beg for mercy. A Nemean Lion is viciously devouring some more. However, the more gruesome monsters are the swarm of man eating locusts wreaking havoc. 

"How is this fine?!" Aaravi shouts from where she's standing, "Aren't you even a bit worried they might turn on us?!"

"They won't attack us!" Dahlia grins, "We released them from their prison! They probably love us."

Oz turns to Dahlia and glares at the saber tooth tiger slowly creeping up behind her. Noticing Oz's gaze, the tiger panics and rushes away. All the monsters keep a wide berth away from the incarnation of fear, especially the older ones.

"Of course they're grateful to us Dahlia," Oz says happily, "It wouldn't be  **_polite_ ** if they weren't."

For a split second all the creatures in the room freeze except Aaravi and Dahlia. All the monsters and beasts present take one look at Oz and realize it's they're cue to leave. All at once they disperse from the castle and run away.

"Woah! Why did they leave so suddenly?" Dahlia asks.

Oz shrugs, "Maybe they figured that now that we're safe their debt has been repaid?"

"That sounds about right!" Dahlia laughs.

"I guess it's… plausible," Aaravi frowns.

"Well anyways…" Oz changes the subject, "How about we take this new gear we got and use it on the ice mage upstairs instead of her lackeys?"

"I like the way you think!" Dahlia makes a run for the staircase up into her lair.

"WAIT! Dahlia! It might be a trap!" Aaravi runs after her shouting.

Oz is about to follow after them when a blur of red flashes in his peripheral. Oz turns and there's a laying on the ground about three feet away. Oz only has a moment to question why there's a cat in an ice castle when the creature struts up to him and rubs itself against his legs.

"Woah there kitty," Oz leans down and scratches the feline's head, "This isn't the best place for a cat to be right now? You should get out of here before the castle explodes or something."

The cat looks up at Oz with an almost understanding look. However, instead of moving on, the longhaired cat sits down as if being defiant.

Now Oz isn't an expert on cats, but he has watched enough videos and listened to enough spiels about them from the girls to know a couple of things. That's why when Oz looks at the creature he knows it has to be somali cat. Either that or somebody dunked the poor thing in a bucket of bright red paint. Along with the red coat of long hair, the cat had bright yellow eyes and a tiny tear in its left ear. 

"Okay, then," Oz sighs when the cat continues to not move, "We'll have to do this the hard way."

Oz lets his naturally intimidating aura to fauna loose and follows through with the act by letting his jaw mouth open wide and makes a terrifying sound. Instead of running away like Oz wanted, the cat just tilts its head and meows. Oz frowns with his real mouth, making his teeth shift and click. Oz seals his mouth back to being closed in confusion. Even if cats are more immune to his actions than other animals they should still run away. 

Oz stares at the cat and decides a different approach, "Can you please leave so you don't get hurt little fellow?"

It might have been Oz's imagination, but he could've sworn the cat rolled it's eyes at Oz before trotting away briskly. Oz watches the cat go with confusion and curiosity. Oz looks away from the mysterious creature when he hears shouting from the floor above.

Quickly, Oz rushes to the stairwell and sprints up it in concern. When he reaches the top, Oz finds his worries were unfounded. As Aaravi is boredly leaning on both her swords and Dahlia is sitting criss cross on the ground. Even Norah is floating in place rather tiredly.

Oz steps into the giant arena-like room and notices a giant chandelier made of the same type of crystals found throughout the rest of the palace. The only exit from the room other than the one right behind Oz is a balcony overlooking the snowy mountains outside. He also notices a set of wide stairs leading up to a throne made out of sapphires and icicles. 

There's a woman with white hair and skin tight chain mail armor standing in front of it. Her eyes are baby blue, her chainmail armor is covered in intricate etchings, and her skin is pale and ghostly. She's screaming something loudly, but without context Oz had no idea what.

"What's going on?" Oz asks his bored looking friends.

"We met the ice mage," Aavari sighs.

"Her name is something unpronounceable," Dahlia continues.

"And she won't-" Aaravi turns towards the mage, "-STOP TALKING!"

The mage, standing in front of what is probably her own throne, stops talking when Aaravi shouts and apparently just notices Oz.

"Ah, so you have called for reinforcements? HAHAHA!" The woman has some type of thick accent that makes her laugh sound like a choke, "You silly adventurers! Your comrade will not save you! My men should already be on their way to-"

"WE KILLED YOUR MEN!" Dahlia interrupts.

"WHAT?!" The mage looks shocked.

"WE KILLED… YOUR MEN!" Dahlia tries to go slower so the mage will hear her better.

"I heard what you said!" The mage huffs, "I want to know how you did it!"

"God, we're literally going to kill you in ten minutes. I am not extending that time any further by having to talk to you more than necessary," Aaravi deadpans.

"Okay rude. Your adventurers! Where's your backstories?! What made you into what you are today?!" The mage insists, "I can't fight some basic people with no flavor! If you're not interesting enough I won't fight you!"

Oz literally raises his hand, "I'm here because I got invited."

"Me too," Dahlia also raises her hand.

"I tagged along!" Norah shouts.

"I found the map to your castle a couple weeks ago and invited my party to come help me defeat you," Aaravi steps forward and lowers both Oz and Dahlia's hands.

"No, no, no! I meant you need to give me your origin story," The mage shouts.

Both Oz and Aaravi get uncomfortable at the mention of an origin story. Something Norah doesn't miss.

"Um, no thank you," Oz says.

"Let's just get to the fighting already!" Aaravi shouts.

"Hmph, fine. If you're not going to play along then I might as well end things quickly," The mage sighs.

"NO! We'll be the ones to end this quickly when we kill YOU!" Dahlia shouts.

"Whatever," The woman waves her hands in the air and starts casting a spell rather unenthusiastically, "Coolest veins, darkest dreams, find my target's ethereal being, bla bla bla, kill them."

Despite the horrible spell, the mage still creates a magical ball about the size of Oz's head. The mage throws it towards the group and Dahlia easily dodges it.

"YES! The real fight begins!" Dahlia rushes forward towards the mage and tries to hit her with a bat.

Tha mage side-steps Dahlia easily and her eyes widen while she does it, "YOU BROKE INTO MY TREASURY?!" 

Instead of answering, Aaravi lights both of her red blades on fire and rushes the mage. The ruler of the castle growls and attempts to use an ice shield only for it to be cut in two by Aaravi's blades.

"HA! Type matchups, knock off Elsa. They make a difference don't they?!" Aaravi gloats as a thin cut trails blood down the ice mage's face.

"MY BLADE OF HELLFIRE?! WHAT ELSE DID YOU BRATS STEAL?!" The mage shouts.

As the ice mage tries to get away from the two relentless monsters trying to hit her, Oz reaches into the nearest shadow, grabs the mage's ankle, and attempts to trip her. 

While he's doing this, Oz decides to answer the poor magic user's question, "We took your bat, brass knuckles, potions, amulets, blanket, marbles, and lucky… rabbit's foot? Or at least I think that's what it is…"

"NOOOO! Not my lucky jacke-" Oz finally tugs the woman's ankle and sends her reeling, "GAH!"

When the mage falls backwards she lands in her throne. Not one to waste any time, Aaravi places both of her flaming blades close to the mage's neck.

"Y-You defeated me?! So easily?!" The mage shouts, "And you killed my men, destroyed my castle, and took my precious things! H-How dare you!"

"Be quiet evil doer!" Aaravi inches her blade forward threateningly, "It is time for you to face justice at my blade! Man, if only Salil was here to see it…"

"Salil? Who's Salil?" Dahlia asks confusedly.

"Uhhhhh…" Aaravi looks like a deer caught in the headlights, "N-Nobody?"

"Are you stating or asking that?" The mage under Aaravi's blade snarks.

Aaravi growls at the mage, "Shut up, or I'll slit your throat!"

"Ohhh, is somebody defensive because someone brought up their boyfriend by accident?" The mage continues to try and shorten her life expectancy for some unknown reason.

Aaravi looks stuck between embarrassment and mortification, "SHUT UP!"

A look of dread passes over Dahlia's face, "Do you have a boyfriend Aaravi?"

"W-What no!" Aaravi completely forgets about the mage and removes her blades from her neck, "Salil is my brother! My little brother! FAM-I-LY! FAMILY! I do not have a boyfriend!"

"You have a brother?" Oz asks with a tilt of his head, ignoring the relieved expression on Dahlia's since it's none of his business.

"Y-Yes. H-He was kidnapped… a long time ago, by a monster," Aaravi sounds very uncomfortable with the topic, "This isn't what we should be-"

"YOU'RE LITTLE BROTHER WAS KIDNAPPED?!" Dahlia shouts, "By who?! I'll kill the one responsible! Just tell me Aaravi and it'll be done!"

"Woah, woah, woah! Calm d-down! It was a long time ago and-" 

"How long ago?" Oz asks, "If he still looks relatively the same then I can search for him through the void."

Oz is already preparing to send millions of his phobias out to search for Aaravi's lost sibling. Surely his phobias are competent to do that right?

"Wait a minute," Norah stops, "How did your brother get kidnapped? Did you see somebody take him?"

"Hello?!" The mage sitting in her throne looks cross, "I could literally freeze your hearts right now! Is nobody going to pay attention to me?!"

"Aaravi's already handled the whole heart thing," Oz waves the mage off, "Potions and all that."

"WHAT?! So I can't even freeze you're-"

"Back to important things," Norah cuts off the mage, "Can you describe how you found out your brother was kidnapped? I apologize if it's too personal."

"No, it's not," Aaravi sheaths her swords and crosses her arms, "I heard sounds in my brother's room a few years back, and went to investigate. When I went in, his stuff was all over the place, his room was a mess, his clothes weren't in his closet, his window was open, and my brother was gone."

Oz feels the need to reiterate the fact he is in no way a trained professional in emotions, but he does know trauma quite closely since he's been dealing with it for years. Nobody who thinks their brother has been kidnapped can talk about it that calmly without something deeper going on.

"That's what I thought," Norah sighs, "Did you actually see somebody kidnap him Aaravi?"

"What do you mean did I-" Aaravi looks like she's getting annoyed. The same way he did earlier when she was trying to prove Norah wrong.

"Aaravi, your parents aren't in the picture anymore, are they?" Norah's eyes are kind and her voice turns soft.

Aaravi goes on the defensive almost instantly, "Plenty of 19 year olds live on their own! It's not anything-"

"That's not what I asked," Norah shakes her head sadly, "But I'm taking that as a no. Excuse me if I'm wrong, but all things considered, I think one of your parents was a monster Aaravi. I think that they hurt you in some way."

"I-I-" Aaravi looks like she doesn't know what to say, "I-I told you not to call me Aaravi."

It was a weak attempt to sound angry. It was more like the begging of a cornered animal to be let free. A desperate plea for this conversation to not have to happen. After the first conversation earlier in the treasury, Oz gained a bit of respect for the fairy in front of him. Having that newfound respect, Oz stands back and trusts Norah with what she's doing. Dahlia looks too conflicted to do anything about the situation unfolding in front of her.

"Again, correct me if I'm wrong, but I have a feeling that an event in your childhood caused your hatred for monsterkind and put you on the path to killing," Norah's explanation makes sense to Oz. 

Aaravi looks defensive, a real sign that even if Norah wasn't right, she was extremely close, "I kill monsters because almost all of them are vile and evil! If I tell you about my parents to prove to you I'm fine then will you shut up?!"

"Aaravi, you do not need to prove anything to me. I won't lie and say I'm intrigued by your childhood, but-" 

"Shut up and listen to me dipshit!" Aaravi interrupts, "My father was a no good undead scumbag who up and left my family right before Salil was born. We were better off without him in the first place."

Oz and Dahlia share a look of 'oh shit this is really happening' as Aaravi continues to shout. Norah looks barely fazed by the volume and only watches Aaravi shout with something close to understanding alight in her eyes.

"My mother passed down to me the title of Slayer before dying due to my sperm donor's absence," Aaravi continues, "Not two weeks later and my brother disappeared! How does any of that explain why I slay monsters?!"

Oz finds Aaravi's story to be self explanatory, but doesn't speak up. This is Norah's job to point out anyways.

"Doesn't it make sense that you've developed a hate for monsters because of your father?" Norah suggests.

Aaravi's eyes go wide, "What?! That's not-"

"Aaravi, how did your mother's death have to do with your father? Did he kill her?" Norah questions.

"W-Well, not directly, but after he left she was never the same," Aaravi sounds resigned as she speaks about her mother's death, "The light in her eyes went away and her curse started acting-"

"A curse?" Norah asks, "Your mother died of a curse, not your father?"

"Yes! W-Wait, n-no! T-That's not-" Aaravi stutters, trying to respond properly.

"You also said that your brother left not long after your mother's death too correct? Is it possible that he went to search for your father in the hopes of meeting his other parent?" Norah pushes her luck.

"I-I- MAYBE! FINE! MAYBE! I DON'T KNOW!" Aaravi shouts, "It's easier to believe my brother was kidnapped rather than him running away ok?!"

"Not accepting the truth about your brother isn't a healthy coping mechanism," Oz gathers up the courage to say.

"So what if it isn't?!" Aaravi shouts, "It's not like he's coming back either way so why does it matter what I think?! It's better this way! Can we all just get back to executing a stupid ice mage?!"

"Aaravi-"

"Wait. WHERE'S THE MAGE?!" Aaravi shouts and everyone turns their attention to the now empty throne.

"Looking for someone?!" There's an evil cackle from the nearby balcony, and Oz sees the mage standing next to the edge, "You have a very nice backstory there little Slayer, but the time for stories have passed! You've taken everything from me! And so I shall take everything from you...in the future! Farwell, we shall meet again! Muah Ha HA!"

With no more words, the mage bursts into a plume of snow and falls off the balcony. While Aaravi looks ready to chase after her, Dahlia sets a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"Maybe… we should follow her later," The blue demon suggests, "I think you need to talk about things with Norah."

Oz nods, "She's lost all her weapons and men so she isn't that much of a threat anymore. If she tries to freeze somebody's heart in a town or something she'll just get arrested."

Aaravi looks stunned, "Talk with Norah?! Why would I need to talk with her about anything?! What we NEED to do is go get that mage and then find a way to get RID of Norah."

Oz and Dahlia share a glance before nodding at each other at the same time.

"You need to talk about this with someone Aaravi," Oz tries to sound reasonable, "And we're probably not the best people to help you."

"What's the worst that could happen? A stupid fairy knows a little bit more about your life than you'd like?" Dahlia nods.

Norah flies around Aaravi enthusiastically, "I'll even leave you alone most of the time. An hour out of your day once a week. That's all I ask Aaravi. One hour."

Aaravi looks between Oz, Dahlia, and Norah, expression schooled, "I don't need to talk to some glorified grape about my problems…"

Dahlia puts her other hand on Aaravi's other shoulder, "You probably don't, but could you just try it for me? I just don't want you to hurt without me being able to help."

Again, Dahlia's words seem to be Aaravi's breaking point, "I- okay. Once a week and you promise to leave me alone the rest of the time right?"

"Absolutely!" Norah nods, "I promise. Actually, after seeing your school, I plan on having some words with your principal. Your school needs a counselor, badly."

"I...I guess I'll try," Aaravi relents, "BUT I'll only say what I want when I want to!"

"Perfect!" Norah smiles, "With all of this being sorted out, how about we head home then?"

Aaravi sighs as she reaches into her cloak, "I guess it is about time we head back anyways. I'll figure out where that mage went later and-"

Aaravi frantically starts patting the insides of her cloaks. She grumbles and curses as she does this to a point that Oz gets worried.

"Uhh, w-what's wrong?" Oz asks.

"THAT BITCH STOLE MY TELEPORTATION CRYSTAL WHILE WE WERE TALKING!" Aaravi shouts.

"WHAT?! How are we supposed to get home now?!" Dahlia shouts.

"G-Guys, I think you might have forgotten, but I can-" Oz gets cut off when four people run into the room shouting.

"WE HAVE COME TO STOP YOU SYLVANINE CHRISFILESTEEN THE THIRD OF ASAGRID MELMORTUM, FREEZER OF INNOCENTS!" Oz realizes that the group busting into the castle is the Coven when Joy starts shouting.

"PROTECTOR OF THE CASTLE IN THE MOUNTAINS!" Faith shouts next.

"ICE ENCHANTRESS OF THE NORTH!" Hope adds.

"Umm… you guys didn't tell me anything about this person we're fighting so I'm just going to come up with something from the top of my head," Oz realizes Zoe's with them and wants to curl up and die, "SEDUCTRESS OF… of monsters and humans? Yeah, that sounds right. SEDUCTRESS OF MONSTERS AND HUMANS!"

Hope, Faith, and Joy roll their eyes, "She is not seducing people Zoe! We're here to stop her before she spreads her influence and creates a forever blizzard around the world! She wants to set the world back to the ice age!"

"Wait," Oz turns to Aaravi, "That mage wanted to do what? Did you know about that?"

"Nope," Aaravi shakes her head, "Completely new information."

"Good thing we beat her up then right!" Dahlia laughs.

The Coven and Zoe suddenly look up and realize that there is no ice mage present, but instead their classmates.

"What are you-" Zoe cuts the three witches off.

"OZ! YOU JERK!" Zoe stomps across the icy room with a glare that has Oz dreading life itself, "Did you seriously defeat the villain that the COVEN and I came here to kill?! Do you know how much I had to pester those three to let me come along?! A lot OZ! It was a lot!"

Oz throws his hands up defensively, "S-Sorry?"

Zoe glares at Oz a moment more before her gaze softens, "Fine. You're forgiven, but only if you let me refer to you as my brother with no complaints."

Oz flushes, "We are not siblings!"

Zoe laughs, "I know! I was joking! I can't stay mad at you for long Oz!"

"Wait, the three of you already defeated SYLVANINE CHRISFILESTEEN!" The Coven shouts, "Well, what are we supposed to do now! We've been preparing for this fight the last four weeks!"

"Well," Dahlia coughs, "We may or may not need a ride back to the school since our way home got stolen."

Hope sighs, Joy pinches the bridge of her nose, and Faith face palms, "You need to hitch a ride?"

"Yes…?"

Joy looks tired, "Come on then. If we're quick we can make it back by the last period."

With this, all eight monsters head out of the castle and back to the school in a very awkward car and snowmobile ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The New Monster Prom comes out today! I didn't know until the beginning of this week, but Beautiful Glitch is releasing Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp! If it's a good game do you guys think I should add a camping arc in my story?
> 
> (Less important, but you should look up what a somali cat looks like. They are majestical)


	40. A Super Great NOT Date!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip down memory lane goes awry. Also, cat alien.

"This is so fucking stupid!" Damien breaks his pencil and scorches his desk, "Why do _I_ need to know anything about some lame ass war when I could be starting one!"

"Mr. LaVey! You will not have outbursts like this in my class! Just because I am a substitute teacher does not mean I am to be pushed around!" Said substitute says, not knowing the reason she's teaching the class is because Damien sent their normal teacher to the ER, "Get back to work."

The moment the teacher calls Damien out, most of the students start to slowly make their way to the windows and exit. One even unzips their backpack and hugs a miniature fire extinguisher to their chest. 

Oz doesn't even look up from the paper on his desk as he continues to work on it. If he stopped being productive everytime Damien's about to cause a ruckas, he'd never get anything done. However, when nothing happens following the silent panic of everyone in the classroom, Oz looks finally does loo up in confusion. Damien usually doesn't wast time when it comes to burning people he thinks are challenging him and the incarnation of fear doesn't see why now would be any different.

To his surprise, along with everybody else in the classroom other than the sub, Damien just grumbles and goes back to working despite looking pissed. The substitute looks pleased with herself, but whatever peace she thought she created only lasted for a moment.

"HOLY SHIT! THE WORLD IS ENDING!" Apparently the shock of Damien not completely wrecking the teacher and going back to his work willingly was just too shocking to the students present, "RUN! WHO KNOWS WHAT'LL HAPPEN NEXT!"

"Woah! Calm down! What's wrong!?" The substitute's calm demeanor fades away to show her own panic as she glances around the room frantically, "Is there a fire!?"

"NO! OH GOD THERE'S NO FIRE!" One kid literally falls to the ground and starts crying in the fetal position as entropy engulfs class, "NO EXPLOSIONS EITHER! WHAT'S GOING ONNNNNNN!?"

"I- why is everyone panicking then?" The substitute now looks entirely confused.

Despite all the chaos surging around him, Oz properly handled his own shock and stayed perfectly in place at his desk. Slowly, Oz raises his hand and gets the teacher's attention.

Her eyes lock onto Oz despite how frazzled she seems and she points at him, "You. Do you know why everyone's freaking out?!"

Oz lowers his hand and lowers his head into his hands, "That would be because Damien didn't set the classroom on fire or snap your neck when you singled him out."

The substitute turns pale at Oz's phrasing, "Now I don't appreciate having my leg-"

"THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE FROM IMPLODING IS TO KILL HER!" One of the students points at the teacher and shouts. 

As if remote controlled, all the people in the room freeze and slowly look towards the teacher before converging. Skeletons, wraiths, and windigo students attack with natural ease. All the other kids in the classroom are only seconds behind. The teacher shrieks as she's smothered in a mosh pit of panic driven students. 

As the teenagers tear her limb from limb, Oz turns to Damien, who is not paying attention to the bloodshed, but rather glaring at the piece of paper on his desk. Oz stands up and walks across the classroom to look over his shoulder to see what he's looking at. When he gets a closer look, Oz's suspicions are proven correct. Damien's glaring down at the exact same worksheet the incarnation of fear was working on moments ago, and if looks could kill, the paper would be dead.

"What are you doing Damien?" Oz asks curiously with a tinge of concern, "Usually you'd be all about burning a sub. Is something wrong?"

"GAH!" Damien stands up and flips his desk away from him and Oz in a show of frustration, "My dads made a big fucking deal about me passing midterms and I don't know shit to pass! And none of the nerds I usually use to copy with are 'alive' or have 'cognitive ability to function.'"

"Don't say that sarcastically," Oz laughs, "Shooting someone in the head, burning them alive, or stabbing them in the heart does tend to disable them from doing work. That's why Vera kept telling you to stop doing it."

"Yeah, but she also said to 'take care' of any and all witnesses when I commit a crime," Damien crosses his arms and scowls, "She's always giving me mixed messages!"

"I'm pretty sure that's not what she meant, but if you seriously have a problem, why don't you just study?" Oz asks curiously as the students murdering the teacher devolve back into their earlier hysteria.

"I can barely pay attention in normal class when there's an actual teacher! Do you really think I'll be able to focus on studying crap by myself?!"

Oz takes a cautious step back as the demon gets more and more riled up just in case he does decide to light something on fire. When Damien notices Oz put some distance between them he calms himself down a little.

Oz looks thoughtful as if trying to figure out a solution to Damien's problem, "Why don't you just ask Liam or Vera to tutor you?"

The scowl on Damien's face is enough of an answer in itself, "Those jackasses will just be pricks about it. There is no way I'm asking them for help."

"Okay, so that's a no, but how about Vicky then? I'm sure she'd be willing to help. In fact, I think she already agreed to tutor Scott. You all could work as a small group," Oz suggests.

Damien actually seems to consider this idea for a moment before shaking his head, "No way. Scott would be whiny all fucking month because he doesn't get to spend alone time with Vicky."

Oz tries to come up with another option to give Damien, but can't think of anything, "I don't really know what you can do then."

"I am so going to bomb midterms," Damien puts his hands on his face, "FUUUUUUUCK!"

As Damien sets fire to a desk, the panic in the room ceases to exist for a few moments and everyone's relieved. Well, relieved for about five seconds before they realize that fire is still something dangerous and they need to run. As the flames spread around the classroom, all the students flee, leaving Oz and Damien alone. Said creature of fear leans down and picks up the paper Damien was working on moments earlier. 

"Huh," Oz reads Damien's horrible answers while trying not to laugh, "The Humans Rights Movement did not start after a nuclear war. Neither was the… did you seriously put nuclear war down for every question? Wait, no, you put 'fuck this' on number ten."

Damien pauses his destruction of the classroom to look embarrassed, "Don't make fun of me! You probably don't know any of the answers either!"

Oz struggles to keep from chuckling, "Dames, I've lived the last four hundred years specifically studying how to act like a normal person. I've lived through this stuff, so of course I know what happened."

"Prove it," Damien sticks his tongue out at Oz like a child.

"Fine," Oz looks down at the paper and picks a random question, "What role did the Air People play in their tenth war against the Merpeople? Easy, the Air people offered the Merkingdon diplomatic peace in a huge festival hosted by their prince, but were betrayed when king Vanderbilt the third killed them in cold blood."

"What?! How did you know that?!" Damien's smug look of petulance was replaced with shock.

Feeling a little confident, Oz decides to show off a littld, "I was hidden in the shadows while it happened trying to learn what a festival was, so I got to see the king decapitate all of the Airtopian royal family members in front of the castle gates. It was a bloodbath."

When Oz finishes bragging and looks at Damien, he notices that he doesn't look as impressed as he does excited. The demon rushes across the room and tugs Oz into a half hug.

"I think I just found the answer to our problems dork," Damien smiles as flames crackle around him.

"What are you talking about?" Oz questions, looking puzzled.

"I know just the right person to help me pass finals," Damien smiles and leans close to Oz's ear, "You."

"M-Me?!" Oz involuntarily blushes, "Sure I k-know history, but I'm probably n-not the best person to t-teach you something like s-science, math, or English. I probably wouldn't even b-be able to-"

"Shut it dork," Damien cuts Oz off with an eye roll, "You'll be perfect. I'm sure I can fucking pass my test if you help me. I mean, you can tell me all the gory and gruesome details, so how difficult could it be to pay attention?!"

The faith Damien has in Oz sends warmth directly into the shorter monster's heart. Je couldn't help feeling a bit giddy at the fact Damien would only trust him to be his tutor. Oz's thoughts seem to show on his face because Damien smiles fondly at him while still holding him against the demon's side tightly. However, this embrace only lasts a few moments more before Oz breaks away and looks at Damien questioningly.

"Where and when?" Oz tilts his head to the right adorably.

"Your house. How about Wednesday after school?" Damien asks.

"Perfect!" Oz claps his hands together and some of his phobias pop out to squeak in excitement, "It's a date."

A piece of the ceiling falls and Oz steps to the side to avoid getting hit. The incarnation of fear just seems to realize that he's surrounded by a flaming classroom and sprints to the door with a wave goodbye to Damien.

Damien's lucky. The bright fire around him hides the blush on his face and makes him seem less than affected by Oz's wording. Still, despite the flames, the reaction is still there. 

Damien sighs after a few minutes and stares at the exit to the classroom, eyes melancholy, "Yeah, it's a date…"

\---------------------Wednesday--------------------

"Wait?! WHAT?!" Zoe looks like she's about to explode, "You and Damien are having a study date?! Like, a real date?!"

"W-What?! I NEVER said anything about it being a date," Oz shouts, forgetting what he said to Damien earlier that day.

"But you like him and your studying, so it's a study date!" Zoe rebuttals, "~Unless you have different ideas other than _just_ studying..?"

Oz balks at what Zoe's implying, "NO! S-SHUT UP! THAT IS NOT WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN!"

"I was talking about kissing," Zoe feigns innocence despite her smirk giving her away, "What were you thinking about Oz?"

"I...hate...you…" Oz covers his blushing face and refuses to look up, even when Zoe starts giggling.

"No you don't! You L-O-V-E me!" Zoe throws her arms over Oz's shoulders and giggles.

"Stop acting like a child, you're embarrassing me," Oz says this, but he doesn't make any move to push Zoe away.

"Why? Do you think your future boyfriend is gonna get jealous?!" Zoe giggles and Oz finally shoves her away.

"I hope you know I'm only letting you get away with this because I want you to get all this out before Damien arrives," Oz scolds despite the tint of red to his ears.

"You won't have to worry about that," Zoe smiles, "I plan on letting you two have some much needed alone time. Who knows, maybe Damien will finally decide to make a move on you."

Oz blushes again, "Zoe! Stop saying stuff like that! I don't even know if Damien likes me that way!"

Zoe waves Oz's concern off with a scoff, much to the other monster's annoyance, "Damien would probably _pay_ money to kiss you. I don't think it's a 'what if he doesn't' kinda situation."

"But-"

"No buts!" Zoe shouts, "You've got a prince charming showing up any minute now and you're in the kitchen talking to me! You should be waiting by the door to greet your guest!"

"Zoe…!" Oz whines as he's pushed towards the living room door.

"Don't whine! I'm already promising to leave you alone! How much more do you want?!" Zoe tries to sound annoyed but she's still giggling.

"Where are you even going to go?!" Oz asks as he tries to keep from getting knocked into random furniture by Zoe.

"Oh…" Zoe pauses for just a moment before continuing to push Oz, "I have some old friends to meet up with is all! The whole trip will take less than thirty minutes!"

Oz takes that as Damien and him have thirty minutes before Zoe starts stalking them through the windows. When Zoe finally finishes pushing Oz around she steps back and gives him a smile.

"Now remember, be yourself, be cute, and use protection," Zoe smiles.

"ZOE!" Oz shouts.

"Fine, fine, fine. You can do it without I guess," Zoe shrugs.

"T-That's not what I-" Oz puts his head in his hands again, "UGH! W-Why do you have to be like this?!"

"Tee hee!" Zoe only laughs at Oz's pain.

As always, Damien decides to show up exactly when Oz doesn't expect it. With a familiar ripping sound, a portal opens up next to the couch.

Zoe pouts before Damien even steps through, "Hmph. I thought he was going to come through the door."

"Why do you think I was trying to stop you from pushing me through the house," Oz forces himself to stop blushing right before Damien steps through.

The red demon steps through the portal with his arms crossed and immediately starts looking around. The moment Damien spots Oz his eyes light up and his portal closes behind him.

"Sup dork," Damien waves, "You ready to make sure I don't flunk and get grounded for life?"

Oz flashes his own version of a smile, "Of course."

From the sidelines, Zoe uses an amazing amount of self control to keep herself from squealing when Damien practically melts at Oz's smile. God, they were so adorable! Zoe's so close to making a blood sacrifice in the name of love. She's all for some good slow burn, but this is getting ridiculous. Like seriously, we're forty chapters in the most romance we've got is blushing and hugging in bed. How lame is that?! Speed things up author!

Sadly, the moment shared between the two pining monsters is cut off when Damien finally notices Zoe. Some of the light in Damien's eyes is replaced with annoyance. However, this does not discourage Zoe. If anything, it makes her want to squeal even more. Damien must really want to be alone with Oz.

"Well, since your guest has arrived," Zoe says louder than normal, "I'll be going now! Since I have errands to run and all that!"

Oz sends Zoe an unimpressed look as she speeds out the door with one last smirk thrown his way. It's times like these Oz is glad Zoe lost her telepathic powers like in the totem so she can't tease him as she leaves. Always be grateful for the little things in life, as Oz always says.

"Where the fuck is she going in such a rush?" Damien raises an eyebrow.

"I… I don't really know. She said she was visiting old friends," Oz suddenly gets a sense of overwhelming dread, "I'm just praying she doesn't accidentally start another war over subs and dubs. The last one was very graphic, and not in the bloody way..."

"That's not concerning at all," Damien snorts sarcastically, "Well, are we just going to stand around all day or are you going to teach me shit?"

Oz shakes his head fondly at Damien's rude behavior as he walks past the demon and sits on the couch. He already set out the required school books and supplies since Oz knew full well Damien wasn't going to bring them with him.

"What's your worst subject and your least favorite subject?" Oz asks as Damien takes a seat next to him on the couch.

"History," Damien growls.

Oz tilts his head, "That's your worst subject _and_ least favorite?"

"Yes. What's wrong with that?!" Damien looks a tiny bit ashamed and Oz feels his heart squeeze.

"N-Nothing wrong with it. It actually makes sense. I mean, if it's your least favorite subject then it means you don't want to pay attention to it. Which is why you don't do good in it," Oz tries to sound as reassuring as possible.

"UGH!" Damien lets out a groan of frustration, "But it's not just that! All those boring dates and places are just so stupid and I can't remember any of them! Why do I even need to know what year the cell phone was invented in?! It's dumb as hell."

"Oh! So you just don't like History because it's dull?"

"Dull isn't even the start of it. Sitting in those classes is like watching paint dry on a wall," Damien sounds exasperated.

"Let's start with History then," Oz shrugs as he starts pulling out some of the text books related to the subject.

"Why would you _want_ to start with boring stuff," Damien looks appalled.

"Because that's my best subject," Oz sends Damien a mischievous glance, "Plus, I think you'll like my versions of the stories, considering I lived through them. "

Damien's eyes glint with curiosity, "Why is your version going to be less boring than these textbooks?"

Oz chuckles, "Cause I don't skip out on details."

And Oz didn't. From the Salem witch trials to the Zombie revolution, Oz described the events in absolutely gruesome detail. One could say that Damien was enraptured by the words, which he partly was, but he was so much more interested in the boy speaking them. Damien watches as Oz talks with his hands and makes facial expressions in time with the mood shifts in his stories. It was cute and Damien couldn't find himself ever looking away. In fact, without even realizing it, Damien slowly starts inching towards Oz until the space between them is almost nonexistent. 

"Wait, you're telling me that this Gengis Khan person just went around destroying all the shit he wanted...," Oz is already shaking his head in amusement as Damien continues, "...and then just spent all his free time fucking the people he couquered. Like, so many people that over sixteen million people still have his DNA?! That is harcore as hell! I mean, he seriously lived his life to the fullest!"

Oz can't help bursting out in laughter, "That's not the point Dames."

"Then what is it?" Damien smirks at Oz, "Because I'm pretty sure I just got a new life long role model if you don't give me a good reason to not love this Gengis guy."

"W-Well…," Oz tries to think of something that would deter Damien from looking up to a borderline sex addict, even if it was strategic sex, but comes up with nothing, "Just please don't look up to him?"

Damien takes one look at Oz's pleading face and blushes before bursting into laughter moments later, "I KNEW YOU COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING!" 

Time continues to fly and both monsters slowly start to make they're way to other topics. Oz leans over Damien's shoulder as he figures out math problems, happily giving advice, corrects him as they go over chemical formulas, and laughs at his stupidly cheesy poetry that Oz can't believe is Damien's until watching him write it down. At some point Oz ends up practically draped over the demon. Not that either of them notices while they're talking, laughing, and smiling like there's no tomorrow.

Well, neither of them notices until a flash catches Oz's attention from a nearby window. Of course Oz turns towards the light in concern to see what was outside his window. However, whatever Oz expected when he turned was not what he got. Zoe and Oz lock gazes. The eldritch being of insanity looks like a deer caught in the headlights as she holds her phone up to the window. Why she's even taking a photo of Oz? He doesn't know. Knowing Zoe, she probably forgot photos work on him or plans on just drawing him later. However, none of that matterers because at this point Oz notices how he's practically in Damien's lap and scrambles away flustered.

Damien immediately notices when Oz's weight disappears and looks up with an eyebrow raised to see what was up. Just when Damien looks up, Oz watches as Zoe ducks out of view outside. Thank God for small favors.

"What's up Ozzie? Is something wrong?" Damien actually looks kind of concerned and Oz feels a little bad for worrying him. 

"N-No," The guilt is just enough to get Oz's blush to go away, "I-It's just… uh… we've been working for a long time. How about we take a break?"

Sensing Oz's weirdness Damien offers up a joke, "Is this your nice way of saying you need a break from my stupidity?"

Oz is shocked by the accusation for about half a second before he realizes it's a joke and snorts, "I've been around your stupidity ever since we met. What makes you think I even need a break at this point?"

"Now that-" Damien playfully hits Oz on the back of the head.

"Ow!"

"-was uncalled for," Damien finishes.

Oz laughs and Damien feels a familiar warmth bloom through his chest at the sound. The demon hides his absolute infatuation with the view in front of him by rolling his eyes and checking his phone, "Holy shit…"

"What?" Oz asks, concerned.

"We've been working for the past three hours," Damien looks absolutely shocked.

"What?!" Oz checks his own phone to see that Damien is right.

In his mind that raises multiple questions. How could they study that long? Oz had expected him to hold Damien's attention for maybe forty-five minutes tops. The time passed also made Oz wonder how long Zoe's been watching them for. She said she would only be out for thirty minutes so how long ago did she get back just to stand there. Just the thought made Oz want to flush.

"Damn, didn't think I'd ever study that long in my life," Damien whistles, "Hopefully I at least retained some of the crap those textbooks spouted. Hell, I might even pass."

Oz breaks out of his internal reveries to pat Damien on the back, "I'm sure you'll do fine. You always find some way to get out of trouble, hopefully your luck applies to tests too."

"I get myself out of trouble…?" Damien scoffs, "At this point I think the only reason I'm not grounded for life is because you bail me out of whatever crap I get myself into."

Oz shakes his head in disagreement, but doesn't say anything. This was one of those times when Damien says something and doesn't plan on changing his view point on it. Oz knows at this point that he's not going to win against a stubborn demon. 

"How about instead of taking a break then we just stop for the night," Oz suggests, "You said something about there being a new bar you wanted to visit recently right?"

"Hmm, no thanks. I've already gotten drunk around you twice, I'll keep away from a third time," Damien frowns a little, "You decide something, and please don't pull any of that 'I can't think of anything' shit."

Oz sighs at being put on the spot, but doesn't get nervous like he would with anything else. When Damien asks Oz to decide something, it means he doesn't really care what they do. Oz hasn't ever said anything about it, but getting to decide something with no chance of disappointment either way is a relief to him. 

Damien watches Oz patiently as he tries to think of something. Mostly because he didn't want to derail the other monster's train of thought, but also because the dork makes some of the cutest expressions when he's really thinking about something. His eyebrows furrowed and eyes glaring at something far off.

Oz is unaware of the attention he's getting as he contemplates what to suggest. The only thing Oz can even think is that he doesn't want it to be here, not with Zoe peeking in through the windows. With no good ideas coming to mind, Oz resolves to just pick the next thing that comes to mind.

"...How about a walk?"

"Like, just a normal ass walk?" Damien looks confused.

Oz backtracks "N-Nevermind. T-That's probably a stupid-" 

"Shut up dork. We can go for a walk," Damien stands up and stretches, "I just didn't expect you to suggest it."

"W-We don't have too if-"

Damien looks directly at Oz with a look that shuts him up, "Let's go for a walk dork."

"O-Okay…" Oz stops talking and Damien offers him a hand up.

With a dusting of pink on his ears, Oz accepts Damien's hand and they both make their way outside the house. Except, they both forget to let go of each other's hand. 

Once outside, Oz really let the amount of time they'd spent working together sink in. The sun has dipped over the horizon and the sky is bright orange as day turns into evening. Without any idea where they were going, Oz and Damien start off in a random direction.

"So… do you just go on walks like this all the time or..?" Damien prompts Oz for an answer.

"W-Well, back when I needed to hunt for people to eat their fear, I always walked around like this," Oz explains, "Now that I don't need to hunt anymore I just kinda go on walks whenever I want to be alone."

"You don't need to hunt anymore?" Damien repeats, "Are you just not eating, because that really doesn't sound-"

"Oh, no, no, no. I've still been eating," Oz lets go of Damien's hand to shake his in the air, "I just haven't really had to go hunting since I met you."

Damien looks confused and curious at the same time, "What does that mean?"

"I d-don't need to go hunting anymore because you pretty much cause chaos wherever you go," Oz gets a little embarrassed as he admits this, "Whenever we go out together I just kinda eat the fear of whoever you're terrorizing."

"So I'm your meal ticket?" Damien snorts, but it doesn't sound like there's any humor behind the gesture.

Oz doesn't pick up on Damien's mood, but absolutely hates the statement anyway, "You are not my meal ticket. You're my friend. I like going out with you because of that. Not because I have a hunger forl emotions."

Just like that, Damien's bad mood, that Oz didn't even notice, passed and he genuinely laughed **,** "Are you sure I'm not? It really sounds like you've been taking advantage of me Ozzie. Maybe I should start charging you to come along with me."

Oz pouts, "Not moments earlier were you talking about how many times I've saved you when we've hung out."

Damien only laughs more at Oz's reaction, "I don't know. I could use some cash."

Oz playfully punches Damien in the shoulder, "Don't be a jerk. I am not paying to hang out with you!"

Oz absolutely ignores the tiny part of his brain that said he totally would. Damien stops to double over laughing and puts his finger up in a one moment gesture while he tries to catch his breath. This only makes Oz pout even more.

As Damien recovers from his lack of oxygen, there's a sound of shuffling in the nearby bushes. Oz turns and glances at the shrubbery with a frustrated glare. Zoe can be so annoying sometimes. Oz can't believe she followed them all the way out here. With an annoyed shrug, Oz resolves to get away from his roommate.

When Damien finally composes himself, Oz grabs his wrist, "I used to take walks up town. Do you want me to show you where I was before you dragged me into that motorcycle chase."

"Sure," Damien's still recovering from his fit of laughter so it comes out as a wheeze, "Y'know, we should have another one of those sometimes. I wanna see you throw another molotov at the chief again."

Oz shakes his head and takes a step back, both Damien and Oz fall through the shadows without a trace, leaving the sidewalk empty. Zoe pops out from behind a bench about twenty feet back and pouts.

"Dammit! I only got thirty pictures," Zoe kicks the metal bench, denting it, and grumpily stomps back to her house.

Moments after she's gone, the bush next to the sidewalk trembles and an auburn long hair cat with intelligent yellow eyes steps out. The cat looks left and right before disappearing in a blink of the eye.

Uptown, Damien and Oz appear and continue their conversation without even registering the quick change of scenery. Damien tries to convince his friend to help him prank the police station, Oz complains about Zoe good naturedly, and the two overall just have a relaxed time chatting while walking around. 

"Wait a fucking minute," Damien suddenly stops and then runs off in a random direction.

"Wait, where are you going!?" Oz runs after Damien.

The demon stops for just a moment and points to a brick building further ahead with a toothy grin, "Do you recognize that building?!"

Oz scrutinizes the place in question and shakes his head, "No?"

"Oh come on! Do you have amnesia?!" Damien shouts, "Just… come over here!"

Damien starts running again and Oz follows him with a sigh. Whatever he noticed really got him excited. The demon ducks into an alley and Oz loses sight of him. Following behind, Oz turns the corner moments after only to get grabbed and tugged against somebody's chest with them covering where Oz should have had a mouth. Oz's first instinct is to elbow the attacker in the stomach, but he stops himself the moment they talk. 

"Do you remember where we are now?" Oz shivers involuntarily as Damien practically whispers in his ear.

Oz tries to understand what Damien's talking about, but it's hard to pay attention to much of anything when his crush is holding him this tightly and closely. However, although it does take a moment longer than it should have, Oz connects the dots and laughs.

"That's one of the buildings you burned down across the street. This is where you kidnapped me and forced me to help you escape from the cops," Oz snorts and starts to pull away from the demon holding him, "Damien, I told you this is where we were going!"

As Oz starts to pull away, Damien almost refuses to let go. He liked the feeling of Oz in his arms. The smaller monster just fits so perfectly there. Still, Damien does let go and his heart stutters as Oz turns around, eyes sparkling in amusement. It's at this point Damien realized he needed to say something, despite not hearing a word Ozzie said.

"...yeah?" Damien tries.

Oz looks at Damien funnily before shaking his head slowly, "If you really want to take a trip down memory lane, the store we first met in is a couple of blocks away."

Damien's still trying to figure out how to properly function when Oz grabs his hand and starts leading him down the street in the same direction they just came from. Oz is talking, but Damien can't hear him though his own blush and destroyed neural network. They make their way down the street leisurely and by the time they've made it Oz's destination, Damien has at least gathered his bearings. 

"Wait," Oz stops Damien outside, "What if it's the same cashier and they kick us out?"

"Ozzie, don't be so fucking paranoid," Damien rolls his eyes and tries to exude confidence in his behavior, "We met up at least what, like a year ago?"

"More like six or seven months ago," Oz corrects.

"Whatever," Damien huffs, "Nobody in there probably even remembers us. What's the chances that the cashier even still has a job here? Honestly, I bet you fifty bucks we go in and literally nothing happens."

"I don't know," Oz shakes his head, "You caused a lot of property damage, Dames. If somebody wrecked my shop and looked like you did I'd definitely remember their face."

"Are you saying I'm just too handsome to forget Ozzie?" Damien throws his arm over Oz's shoulder and takes deep satisfaction at the flush that hits the monster's face.

"You're so annoying," Oz shakes his head at Damien and before the demon knows it, he's shrugging off the arm over his shoulder and making his way towards the entrance, "I'll take that bet of yours though."

Despite the tinge of disappointment Damien feels at Oz being able to shrug his affection off so easily, he smirks, "Oh you are on dork. Guess when I said I wanted cash earlier you took it seriously huh?"

Oz opens the door, and before heading inside he turns to Damien with the closest look to a smirk possible for him, "I think you need to rein in your cockyness before you really embarrass yourself over fifty bucks."

Without waiting for Damien to respond, Oz steps into the tiny store and actually closes it behind him. Damien stands there for a few seconds and stares. Where did that attitude come from? 

Damien's first thought is he really wants to kiss that look off of Oz's face and the second is more natural for him. Damien refuses to lose this bet after that little display. With a calm demeanor practically rare from Damien, he walks into the store like a normal person and keeps his head low.

When Damien enters, Oz is still trying to think if what he did was funny to the demon or bold. A lot of things Oz has said thinking they were cool only for Damien to tease him about the words being dorky later. However, Oz immediately knows what spectrum his words fell under when Damien meets his gaze with an extra challenging stare. 

Looking away from the piercing gaze, Oz glances around. Literally nothing special stands out. It's just a normal place with normal people. It was kinda fitting that Damien and Oz met here. 

As Oz reminices, he turns to Damien, "You literally called the way I talked brain rape."

Damien flushes in embarrassment, "Well, at the time I thought it was! How was I supposed to know you weren't some type of brainwasher?!"

"Woah, Damien stop shouting," Oz chuckles, "You don't want to make a scene do you?"

"I'll make a scene if I want to make a-" When the cashier at the register looks up at them, Damien realizes what he's doing and suddenly quiets down while glaring at Oz, "You are not getting me to shout so you can win the bet."

That wasn't what Oz was trying to do, but if it gets Damien to not shout and disturb the few other people inside with them, he'll let him think what he wants. To convey this, Oz just shrugs at Damien's accusation instead of protesting. With the demon going quiet, the cashier at the checkout stops paying attention to them and goes back to whatever they were doing.

"Is that the same person from back when..?" Damien squints at the gargoyle pulling out his phone.

"I don't know. Why? Are you nervous?" Oz asks genuinely, not actually trying to get a rise out of Damien.

"Pft, no. There's no fucking chance it's the same person," Damie scoffs, "If it was they would have least said something. It's just like you said earlier, I'm unforgettable."

"...yeah...right…" This time Oz can't help teasing Damien.

"What does that mean?!" Damien scowls, "The whole reason we're friends is because you couldn't forget about me!"

As Oz walks towards the back of the store, he sends Damien an unimpressed look, "So the whole reason we're friends is because I couldn't forget you and doesn't have anything to do with the fact you kept showing up. If I remember correctly, the only reason you ever got my phone number was because I wanted to avoid you."

"Are you saying you regret giving it to me?" Damien follows behind without even thinking about it. 

"Never," Oz replies just as quickly with a little thought as Damien.

Damien at least expected Ozzie to get flustered by his comment, so he's surprised when he doesn't. However, the chaste and instant reply was definitely a better answer in his book. Honestly though, he is getting a little impatient just walking around and waiting to see if someone recognizes them and maybe kicks them out.

"Why are we even walking around anymore? Nobody's going to notice me," Damien groans, "I'm getting bored."

"You're so impatient," Oz chuckles, "But you're right. I don't think anybody's going to kick you out. Guess I owe you fifty bucks…"

"I told you I wouldn't lose," Damien gets a cocky smirk, "That means we can leave now though right?"

Oz sighs a little in disappointment at losing and a little in exasperation at Damien's behavior, "Yes, we can leave now."

"Well, actually…" Damien gets a devious look that Oz loves and dreads at the same time, "I was thinking… maybe… for old time's sake…"

"Please tell me you're not going to ask to help you wreck this place," Oz shakes his head slowly.

"Oh come one! That is not what I was going to ask!" Damiem says defensively.

"What were you going to ask then?" 

"...if you would help me light the building on fire…" Damien replies hesitantly.

"Damien!" Oz crosses his arms whispering, "We are not doing that!"

"I was joking," Damien flashes Oz an amused grin before turning away and walking towards the exit, "...mostly."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you should-"

"YOU!" Damien gets cut off when a tiny elderly woman pointing a cane comes out of nowhere yelling.

Damien stares down at the tiny old woman, "Do we know you?"

"Know you?! KNOW YOU?!" The elderly woman screams, "YOU ALMOST DESTROYED MY LIVELIHOOD!"

Oz interjects politely, "We do that a lot. You'll have to be more specific."

"MY SHOP! THE TWO OF YOU WRECKED MY SHOP!" The tiny woman shakes her cane menacingly, "I LEFT THE SHOP WITH MY GRANDDAUGHTER AND YOU DESTROYED MY SHOP WHEN SHE WAS ON SHIFT!"

"If you weren't here then how did you know we're the people that got into a fight?" Oz asks before adding, "Not that I'm denying we are those people, because we are."

"My daughter's an artist and she drew your pictures," The tiny woman pulls out two crumpled pieces of paper with Damien and Oz's portraits on them.

"Oh wow, those are really good," Oz compliments.

"NO! They are not good! These are the stupid doodles that she went to college to show off!" The tiny woman is turning red in the face with fury, "NOW WHO'S GOING TO CONTINUE THE FAMILY LEGACY WITH HER BEING SOME HAWFALOOTING PAINT JUNKIE!"

Damien and Oz share a look as the tiny woman keeps shouting. What do they do? Damien makes a slitting throat gesture and Oz shakes his head at the demon hastily. Damien scowls and slips the knife he was taking out of his jacket back into his pocket. 

"-AND THEN ALL SHE CAN TALK ABOUT IS THIS SILLY SORORITY SHE WANTS TO JOIN AND THIS BOY NAMED KEITH! SHE'S ONLY TWENTY-FIVE! SHE DOESN'T NEED TO BE THINKING ABOUT BOYS, AND WE'RE UNDERSTAFFED TOO! NOBODY WANTS TO WORK IN A PLACE PRONE TO FIGHTS! THE WORST PART IS-"

Oz grabs the jacket sleeve of Damien's left arm and slowly starts to back away while the woman is busy shouting. The gargoyle at the register is staring at the old lady that's apparently the owner in shock, before discreetly pointing the two monsters present to the back door. Quickly, Oz silently thanks the monster at the register before making it out the door and closing it behind him with a sigh. The exit led into a back alley, but Oz could care less.

Despite the situation Oz turns to Damien and points, "Now you owe _me_ fifty bucks!"

"Dammit," Damien growls and crosses his arms, "I was so close to fucking winning too."

"I'm not actually going to make you give me fifty bucks," Oz laughs, "You not getting to gloat for the next three months is reward enough."

"What? No," Damien frowns, " Being around Vera's made me bad about not owing people favors, and you won the bet. You can't just run away without taking your cash."

"Watch me," Oz laughs before turning around and making his way out of 

"Wait a fucking moment you can't-"

From inside the drugstore comes loud shouting and frantic foot steps, "WHERE DID THEY GO?!"

"Shit," Damien quickly follows after Oz to avoid getting stuck in another one-sided shouting match with an elderly lady, "Wait up dork!"

It doesn't take Damien more than a few seconds to catch up to Oz since he's only walking away in a slightly faster than normal stroll. When no angry lady comes rushing after them, Damien considers them in the clear. The whole debacle must have taken longer than it felt because the sun is now completely gone from the sky and has been replaced with a crescent moon and stars.

"I guess it's getting late," Damien looks over at Oz to see him looking up at the sky as well, "I'm honestly surprised we were out here so long without getting mugged or something."

"Like anybody would try to rob me," Damien rolls his eyes.

"Some of the people around here would. When I used to walk around alleys by myself somebody would try and rob me at least three times every night."

Damien did not find that as amusing as Oz did, "You mean like gun and knife kinda mugging?! Is that where you meant you've been shot before?!"

Oz turns to Damien, a little surprised by the concern in his voice, "N-No! I've never gotten shot from a mugging. When I said that I was referring to wars and shoot outs and stuff."

"Shoot outs?!" Damien squawks.

"Only small ones," Oz doesn't know when Damien and him switched places, but it was disconcerting.

"What constitutes as a 'small' shoot out?" Damien growls, "It's a shoot out! It's a bunch of people with guns trying to kill each other with no reason for it!"

"Damien, you are the worst person to be campaigning for motiveless killing," Oz deadpans, "But if it bothers you so much, I'll tell you I stopped going to those when I bought my first apartment."

"...Promise?" Damien doesn't want his best friend/crush to get shot, sue him.

"Promise," Oz still looks confused by the sudden concern, but is willing to go along with Damien anyways, "You know I should be the one asking you to avoid all that stuff right?"

"Yeah," With Oz's agreement, Damien returns to being carefree, "But you won't."

"And why is that?" Oz takes Damien's bait.

"Because you have too much fun messing around with me _to_ stop me," Damien states, practically fishing for compliments.

"Got me there," Oz tilts his head towards Damien in the closest expression he can get to a smile, "So, do you want to go back to my house now and try to keep studying or…"

"I've done more learning today than I have in my entire highschool experience," Damien replies monotone, "I'm done."

"Do you just want to keep walking then?"

"I mean, it's not like we have anything else to do," Damien shrugs, "Might as well. It's not like something random and interesting is going to come out of nowhere and-"

"MEOW!" A cat comes out of nowhere and it's loud yowl cuts Damien off.

"Oh, it's a stray," Oz turns his attention to the small cat and instantly recognizes it. 

The cat seems to remember Oz as well because it struts right up to the incarnation of fear and rubs against his legs just like the first time they met. Oz crouches down to pet the cat, continuing the reenactment of their last meeting. The feline purrs in satisfaction the moment Oz touches… The cat rolls over on her back for Oz to pet her stomach. It's a her.

"How did you get here?" Oz pets the cat curiously.

"You know this fleabag?" Damien doesn't hesitate to crouch beside Oz to get a closer look at the feral animal. The animal that almost seems to glare at Damien when he uses the term 'fleabag.'

"Yeah. Do you remember when I told you about how I met Norah a couple days ago?" Oz watches as Damien's scowls, remembering Spooky High's new councillor that he immediately tried to burn

"Yeah, you said Slayer picked her up in a parking lot and you had to go on some type of quest to get her off the bitch's back," Damien looks like he's trying to recall the conversation.

"Yep, that's when I met this little sweetie," Oz can't help but coo at the tiny creature happily headbutting his knee, "Although, I have no idea how she got here since the last time I saw her was in the middle of the mountains."

"The middle of the mountains?!" Damien exclaims, "How the fuck did this cat get from the mountains to here? Did it walk through the woods for like five days straight? That'd be fucking metal!"

The cat that originally seemed to have a distaste for Damien immediately perks up at the demon's words and starts purring. 

"I don't think she walked all the way here from the mountains, Dames," Oz chuckles at his friend's enthusiasm, "It's more likely she hitched a ride with some hikers."

"That's so lame though," Damien frowns as the feline steps away from Oz to pay attention to the demon, "Plus, look at her ear."

Oz watches as Damien scratches behind the auburn cat's torn ear, "What about it?"

"This girl's a fighter. You can tell. I bet the ear is like a battle scar or something," Damien leans closer to the cat with an all too serious fight, "Did you fight a dog or something? I bet you fucked them up didn't you?"

The cat only seems to get more and more pleased as Damien talks. Oz watches the two when something clicks in his head.

"She reminds me of you," Oz snorts.

Damien looks up questioningly, although his eyes are also full of amusement, "Are you seriously comparing me to a stray cat?"

Oz rolls his eyes, "You just described how badass she is along with how you thought she was a fighter. Plus, she even looks like you. Red fur, yellow eyes, and she even has a torn ear to match your horn."

"Holy shit, you're right," Damien lifts the cat up in the air at arms length while standing up, "It's Damien Jr!"

"Damien, that's a girl. Plus, even if it was a boy you would not be naming it Damien Jr," Oz stands up next to Damien and laughs.

"Well what would you call her then, mister I'll name myself from the title of the nearest book," Damien rolls his eyes, "Let me guess, you think Dorothy would be a perfect fit."

Oz blushes and looks down at his shoes. 

Damien laughs, "Wait, were you really going to actually suggest Dorothy?!"

"..." Oz's silence is enough of an answer for Damien, who sets the cat down to continue laughing. 

"You're a fucking dork Ozzie!" Damien catches his breath.

Oz is still blushing, "Okay! I get it! It's a stupid name!"

"No way!" Damien stops laughing almost instantly and grins, "I'm calling this cat Dorothy from here on out."

"Dames, she's-"

"Dorothy," Damien corrects cheekily, making Oz glare.

"Fine. _Dorothy_ is a feral cat Damien. You won't be calling her much of anything once we leave," Oz crosses his arms as if that's that.

The moment the words leave Oz's mouth he regrets them as Damien once again gives Oz a challenging gaze. The demon glances down at Dorothy, who is simply watching the two monsters with relative interest before smirking at Oz.

"Well, we've already established that this cat's a badass, so why the hell would I leave her on the streets when I could have an attack cat?" Most would think Damien was kidding, but Oz knows better.

"Are you seriously just going to adopt a cat off the side of the street?" Oz asks, knowing full well that's exactly what Damien plans to do, "Do you even know how to take care of a cat?"

"I take care of Cerberus all the time," Damien huffs, "How harder can taking care of a cat be?"

"Cerberus is a three headed hellhound that's fireproof," Oz tries, "There's a big difference between that and a normal cat. You'd have to buy her food, toys, and a litter box. Then there's the shots you have to take her to the Vet for. Oh, and you absolutely can't light anything on fire near her."

"I know that!" Damien shouts, "Wait… What's your idea of near?"

"No. You are not adopting this cat," Oz shakes his head, "You are too irresponsible and violence prone."

"Too bad for you. You can't stop me," Damien crosses his arms before turning towards Dorothy.

In order to save the sweet feline on the ground from getting incinerated in the near future Oz scoops her up before Damien can grab her. Dorothy barely seems bothered by the sudden hands and immediately relaxes in Oz's arms.

"I'm keeping her away from you," Oz says with finality.

"Jeez, if you wanted to take her home you could have just said so," Damien smirks at Oz, who's just realized he's been played, "Tell me if you need help with all that pet shopping though. I do still owe you fifty bucks."

Oz looks at the cat in his arms and sighs, "I guess I have a pet cat now don't I?"

"Yep," Damien pops the 'p' before patting Dorothy on the head.

"Zoe's going to freak out," Oz says to himself, "Then she's going to break the sound barrier with her squealing."

"Yeah, I'll happily stay in Hell while that-"

"I found you!" Oz and Damien turn to see a raggedly looking woman pointing at the two of them.

"Okay, that's like the third time I've gotten interupted," Damien growls, "Am I just not allowed to finish my fucking thoughts anymore?!"

The ragged woman comes closer and Oz's eyes widen. She has white hair and blue eyes although her hair is extremely dirty and has bits of trash in it.

"Oh no…" Oz whispers under his breath.

"YOU RUINED MY LIFE!" The ice mage from the castle a couple days ago shouts at Oz.

Damien doesn't grasp the situation in its entirety and just assumes the mage is shouting at him, "Look, I've ruined a lot of people's lives. You're not special."

"She's.. uh...talking to me Dames" Oz comments.

"You're the one who helped those two warriors destroy my castle, murder my men, raid my treasury, embarrass me, fight me, and then leave me with a faulty teleportation crystal that drops me off in the middle of nowhere!" The mage starts stomping towards the two monsters on the empty streets, "I've been walking these streets for three days. THREE DAYS!" 

"Wait. You did _what_ without me?!" Damien turns to Oz.

"Ice castle a few day ago," Oz explains

Damien crosses his arms and grumbles, "...You didn't tell me about that!"

"I didn't tell you because Aaravi and Dahlia had a lot of personal stuff happen," Oz explains, "That's why Norah was there. I really didn't even do anything. I just served as a third wheel."

Damien doesn't respond, stewing in his own grumpiness. Dorothy squirms in Oz's arms before jumping down and stepping up to Damien and pawing at his leg.

"Enough talking! That dumb girl with the red cloak and great backstory isn't here to stop my magic!" The mage shouts, "Now stay still so I can freeze your heart as revenge!"

The white-haired mage creates a ball of pure white magic in her hands and throws it at Oz, who side steps it quickly. Damien's eyes widen in shock and he pulls out his daggers on instinct. Dorothy meows for attention, but when she doesn't get it, curls up on the ground and watches lazily. 

"What the hell bitch!?" Damien shouts, "Don't just go throwing your fucking magic around!"

"I WILL DO WHATEVER I WANT!"

The mage starts throwing more balls of white magical energy, although each one starts to get smaller as she continues rapidly firing them off. Oz doesn't hesitate in dodging each of the magic spells. Even if he doesn't have a heart to freeze, getting hit with one of those cannot be pleasant.

When one gets surprisingly close to hitting Damien, Oz does get a lot more concerned with the fact that his friend does have a heart. While Oz is considering this particular problem, he doesn't notice Dorothy hiss at the mage and start to slowly stalk towards her.

"WHY ARE YOU SO FAST!" The ice mage shouts maniacally, "JUST! STAY! STILL!"

"Oz, what's the chance I can make it to her and stab her before getting hit?!" Damien shouts over the noise of magic colliding with inanimate objects and freezing them.

"DON'T YOU DARE TRY THAT!" Oz stops to shout and glare at Damien for a split second.

"You could never stab someone as amazing as- AHAG!" A random swarth of tentacles burst in existence next to the mage and a car flies out from them, promptly landing on top of the woman.

Oz and Damien stop what they're doing and stare dumbfounded, as the tentacles retreat into the relaxed form of Dorothy. The slimy appendages and saw-like teeth retreat back into the cat's mouth and leave a normal looking feline. Dorothy turns to Oz and Damien and meows innocently. Almost as if she didn't just form a car from nowhere and toss it.

Oz breaks from his shock first in a burst of realization, "It all makes sense now."

At Oz's words, Dorothy struts back towards the monster and rubs against his legs, asking to be picked up again. Oz doesn't pick the cat up and instead goes on a monologue. 

"You somehow got from the mountains to the city in less than a week, you were in that castle after we set loose all the beasts in those marbles, and you literally threw a trash can across the street! Why didn't I figure it out sooner," Oz looks down at Dorothy in shock, "You're a flerken!"

Damien slowly looks at Oz, "Excuse me...a WHAT?!"

"It's a super rare race of aliens that look like domesticated cats!" Oz looks at Dorothy in awe, "I haven't seen one of you in at least fifty thousand years."

"Wait, wait, wait! We found an alien that looks like a cat?!" Damien shouts.

Oz nods as Dorothy moves to Damien to beg for attention, "A teleporting, cat-like, pocket dimension creating, alien."

"Well, shit," Damien looks down at the cat at his feet, "I guess I wasn't wrong about you being a badass, but you probably got that nick in your ear from something much bigger than a dog."

Oz freezes, "I just agreed to adopt a flerken. Now there'll be three highly dangerous monsters in my house."

"You really do have a knack for finding problematic roommates don't you?" Damien says, amused.

Suddenly, Dorothy's hackles raise, and she hisses. Oz follows the cat's gaze just in time to see that the ice mage has crawled her way out from under the car that entrapped her and that there's a poorly aimed ice ball heading directly towards Damien. Acting on pure protective instinct, Oz is already in front of Damien and takes the spell right to the chest.

When the spell hits its mark, the ice mage starts cackling uncontrollably, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR ATTACKING SYLVANINE CHRISFILESTEEN THE THIRD OF ASAGRID MELMORTUM!"

"S-Shit," Oz starts shivering as he's hit with a chill.

The feeling of cold only gets more intense as Oz watches Dorothy quickly swallow the mage that struck him along with the car she just regurgitated. However, what he's witnessing isn't really processed with the ice spell kicking in at full force.

With having no heart for the spell to take effect on and his dark matter being unfreezable, Oz assumes that the overwhelming cold he feels is the spell using up all its energy to try… something. It doesn't really matter since it can't last forever, but DAMN was Oz freezing. The black matter boy instinctively hugs himself to try and maintain some type of body heat.

"Ozzie?!" When Oz about falls over Damien steadys him, "What's wrong?! Did that scumbag actually freeze your heart?! What do I need to do to help?!"

"I-I-I'm f-f-f-fine," Oz can't help shivering uncontrollably as it feels like he's being dunked in liquid nitrogen, "I d-d-don't h-have an actual heart, s-s-so i-it's just m-making me r-r-really, really, r-really cold. S-Shouldn't l-l-last t-that long."

"Shit, shit, shit, fuck," Damien looks around for something to help as he holds a shivering Oz in his arms, "You're cold right?! Damn it, of course you are. You're literally shaking. Maybe if I just-"

Damien takes off his jacket as quickly as possible without letting go of Oz before putting the item of clothing on him instead. It doesn't seem to do much, and Oz doesn't even notice the extra layer with his eyes shut in something similar to pain.

"Ozzie, stay with me okay?!" Damien hugs Oz to his chest with little to no clue what to do next.

"I-I-I'm f-f-f-fine," Oz manages to get some words out despite his situation. Oz really wishes he was in one of his larger forms right now, preferably one too big to feel anything like this one does, "J-Just give me a-a f-few s-s-seconds."

Damien stays silent and holds Oz in a vice grip as his shivering starts to slowly get less violent. It takes about five minutes, but the cold does get manageable enough for Oz to stand up by himself without needing to lean on Damien. 

"Are you okay?" Damien asks, concern consuming every bit of his being as he refuses to step away from Oz.

"I-I said I'm f-fine," Oz is still hugging himself, "T-The spell, j-just needs to run its course."

"Why would you jump in front of me like that you idiot?!" Damien wants to punch Oz for being so stupid and kiss him all at the same time and it's confusing.

"W-Would h-have frozen y-you s-solid," Oz explains, "C-Can't undo i-it. S-Saw the s-spell back i-in t-the 1800s."

"Shit," Damien realizes that Oz took the magical equivalent of a bullet for him, "I need to get you home."

Oz protests weakly, "Y-You d-don't h-have t-to d-do that… I-"

"You are not doing anything!" Damien growls, "I've got a fucking portal in my phone fore a reason. Let me take care of you."

Oz doesn't even have the energy or focus to blush at Damien's words. Dorothy meows in distress as she watches the two monsters. 

"Don't worry, you can come too space cat," Damien barely gives Dorothy a glance despite how loud the cat is.

Tugging Oz back against his chest, Damisn uses his other hand to take his phone out of his back pocket and tap so.e buttons. A portal appears and Damien puts his phone away. Dorothy doesn't hesitate to jump through the portal and into Oz's apartment. Damien picks Oz up in both his arms and the small monster is shaking too much to even protest. Each time Oz shivers, Damien feels the need to pull him tighter to his chest. With one last glance down at Oz, Damien steps through his portal, it closing behind him.

Damien doesn't even glance at the couch before deciding to bring Oz to his room. Dorothy follows the demon happily, her tail swaying back and forth happily. 

"D-D-Damien you-" 

"Shut up Ozzie," Despite his words, Damien speaks softly.

Opening the door to the bedroom with his foot and left hand, Damien steps in. Without even thinking about it, Damien sets Oz down in his bed and sets forth on his mission to absolutely cocoon his friend in blankets and pillows in the hopes of keeping him warm. The whole time Oz shivers with his eyes closed, but doesn't say anything else to protest Damien's actions. Dorothy curls up on top of one of the pillows and decides to just go to sleep right there.

Once he's done, Damien doesn't know what else to do. Should he wait here until Oz is better? Should he try and find Zoe? No, Damien will wait here. This spell can't last that long, can it? Oz is overpowered as hell, this can't set him back for long. Then Damien remembers the time Oz walked into a fire and remembers how he melted. Maybe Oz is just a little sensitive to temperatures.

Suddenly, there's the sound of something hitting the floor.

Damien looks up to see Zoe standing in the doorway to Oz's room. She's frantically looking between Dorothy, Oz, and Damien.

"OH MY-" Damien lunges across the room and places a hand over Zoe's mouth, effectively silencing her.

"Shut the fuck up," Damien growls taking his hand off of Zoe's mouth, "Oz is already not feeling well. He doesn't need your screeching."

Zoe nods before instantly rushing over to Oz in concern instead of excitement, "Is Oz alright? What happened? We can't get sick, so it isn't that. Was it magic? I bet it was magic. It's always magic in these types of situations. Wait, is Oz asleep?! Oh my god, he's asleep!"

Damien resists the urge to push Zoe away from Oz's vulnerable form by scowling, "Oz doesn't sleep. Shouldn't you know that already."

Zoe looks at Damien like he's dumb, "Is that what he told you? Oz can totally sleep! He just doesn't need to, like me. Wait, is this Oz's first time sleeping?! OMG it's Oz's first time sleeping and it's because of you! That's sooooo adorable!"

Damien blushes and scowls at the same time, "What the fuck."

Zoe leams over Oz and tilts her ear towards his shivering form, "He's definitely sleeping… and shivering. My guess is ice magic. Really strong ice magic. I'm guessing a pretty powerful spell caster and a… soul spell. Yeah, only soul spells could cause a reaction this intense."

Despite his distaste for Zoe sometimes, Damien is impressed by how quickly she figured things out, "Yeah, it's a magic spell from a mage."

"It's gonna last all night then," Zoe says with a note of finality.

"What?!" Damien exclaims, "All night but-"

"Yes, all night," Zoe nods, "Now you're going to tell me why there's an adorable cat in our house."

"I don't have to…" Damien trails off when he realizes Zoe probably does need to know about the random cat on the bed, "Oz is adopting it. It's apparently an alien."

"Wait. Is it a flerken?!" Zoe quietly squeals.

"You know what those are too?" Damien asks.

"Of course I do! Although, I haven't seen one since before I was imprisoned," Zoe flitters over to the cat alien and fawns over it as it sleeps, "They are so adorable. They look so much like cats don't they? I wonder if the Egyptians copied flerkens to domesticate cats. Y'know, because everyone thinks the Egyptians talked to aliens."

"Yeah, whatever," Damien rolls his eyes at Zoe and then finds himself staring at the shivering and sleeping form of Oz.

"Hmmm…" Damien looks up to be met with the scrutinizing gaze of Zoe.

"Get out of my face," Damien snarls.

"Wait there one moment," Zoe steps over to the bed Oz is sitting in and shakes her non-tentacle hand in front of his face.

"What the- Stop!" Damien walks across the room and grabs Zoe's hand, "Do you want to wake him up?!"

"Nope! I wanted to see if he was a light sleeper," Zoe turns on Damien with an intense expression and grabs his wrists, "Now that I know he won't wake up. We can talk."

"What the hell are you on about?!" Damien growls.

"You like Oz," Zoe states simply, "You probably love him too."

Damien turns pink and freezes like a deer in the headlights, "I-I do not! Love and all that sappy shit is stupid as fuck and-"

Zoe puts a finger on Damien's lips to shush him, "Stop it. I know you like Oz and I am done watching you check him out and stare at him for hours on end. I want to help you out."

"What?!" Damien is so confused, "I do not love Oz and I wouldn't let you help me if I did."

"Okay, let me rephrase this proposition," Zoe coughs, "I've got a video that you will find very interesting. It has to do with a certain person that has a crush on Oz. If you admit you like Oz, which I already know you do, then I'll give you the video and I'll let you be on your way."

Damien is conflicted. Admit he has feelings for one of the most romantically problematic students at Spooky High and get to know who's trying to take his Ozzie, or walk away and not know. Thinking it out in his head, Damien's heart makes the decision for him. Damien will happily step aside if Oz finds somebody else other than him, but that day is not today. 

"Fine, I like Oz, what of it," Damien feels an instant pop bout of regret when Zoe's face lights up brighter than the sun.

"This is the best day ever!" Zoe whips out her phone, types something, and Damien's vibrates in his pocket. The moment after, Zoe starts pushing Damien out the door, "There's your video. Go watch it somewhere where you can burn stuff, because if I was angry about it you'll be pissed. I'll text you questions later. Oh! I'll also be helping you woo Oz from now on."

Somehow, Zoe has Damien out the door to the house already. She slams the door in the demon's face and leaves him standing outside, shocked. He stands there for a few minutes before reaching into his pocket and checking his phone. Huh, it was a link to some show about the Coven…

The city wasn't ready for the destruction that happened later that night. No one was. 

As cities are burning uptown, Oz sleeps for the first time in his existence, shivering in his bed with a certain someone's jacket wrapped around him and a flerken at his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to Aha. They're the one who named Oz's new cat.


	41. HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween is today. Get ready for a months worth of Spooky High festivities related to scariest night of the year!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THIS: This chapter is a one-off. That means that anything that happens during it does not apply to the actual story. It's meant to take a break from the plot and just have the characters having fun. This is important because unless breaking thd 4th wall, none of the characters in the actual story did this. I'LL REPEAT! NONE OF THE THINGS IN THIS ONE-OFF CHAPTER HAPPEN IN THE STORY! THIS IS A SPECIAL CHAPTER FOR HALLOWEEN!

**_\--31 days until Halloween--_ **

Oz has had a pep in his step the last few days. Fall is finally here. The temperature is dropping, the green leaves of summer are turning crisp with autumn, and Halloween is just around the corner. Already, pumpkins stood at the end of every porch, fake cobwebs lined doorways, and fake skeletons were tossed in yards. Even more signs littered shops and restaurants offering limited-time holiday goods.

Damn. Halloween.

The holiday is practically dedicated to Oz. Well, it's dedicated to fear, but the two are one in the same. To most, having a holiday dedicated to them would be an ego boost. However, Oz barely ever falls into the majority, so he's actually quite humble about it. He doesn't brag about or rub it in anybody's face, he normally just enjoys the festivities by feasting on all the fear people self inflict during the holiday season. It's how Oz has spent the last couple decades of Halloween anyways. However, Oz's friends are very intent on breaking that tradition, not that the incarnation of fear minds. 

"Ok, what are we all gonna do for Halloween?!" Polly asks the group of monsters she's assembled excitedly.

"You dragged half of the student body here to talk about Halloween?" Vera asks annoyedly, "I'm pretty sure all of us had better things to be doing."

"Yeah, I was about to sell a fake love potion to the Interdimensional Prince," Valerie crosses her arms as her feline tail whips around.

"You were going to what?!"

Ignoring the Interdimensional Prince, the Coven looks angry, "We were trying to stop Dmitri from dooming humanity forever!"

"Yes, and I was trying to stop them from stopping me from dooming humanity forever!" Dmitri shouts out in annoyance as he whips his silk white hair and swishes his cape.

Oz looks over the crowd of students that Polly gathered outside the school and tries to figure out how she got them all out here. The charismatic ghost not only got her normal group of friends, but tons of others. She got Kale, Blobert, Aaravi, Dahlia, and even the wolfpack to show up to her little impromptu meeting, and she did that all to talk about Halloween?

Polly tries to calm her aggravated classmates, "Come on guys! Halloween is only like a month away! It's super important that we pick a theme!"

"A theme?" Scott pipes up, "A theme for what?!"

"Our costumes of course!" Polly responds, "Halloween is the one time a year you can dress up as anyone you want without committing identity theft! We've gotta take advantage of it!"

"That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard," Damien rolls his eyes and snarls from next to Oz, "Why the hell would I wanna dress up like someone else when I'm already the best?!"

Oz resists the urge to sigh fondly. That's his Damien alright. Some of the other narcissistic monsters in the crowd murmur their agreement. 

"Hey!" Zoe pipes up angrily, "Costumes are like cosplays! Don't insult them! Dressing up as someone else isn't supposed to be about making yourself better, it's about appreciating and admiring the muse in a way that inspires others to like them too!"

"Halloween is about having fun, not trying to one up people!" Vicky adds.

"Yeah! What Vicky said!" Scott hypes Vicky.

"The only reason LeVay doesn't want to dress up is because he knows I'll look better than him no matter what he wears," Dahlia laughs cockily.

Damien tenses and turns to the blue demon, "Screw you Dahlia! I'd look better than you in anything!"

"Be quiet fowl beast! No one wants to hear your opinions!" Aaravi shouts back while getting closer to Dahlia.

Damien glares at the two before turning back to Polly, "Get a fucking theme so I can show these jackasses who looks better in a Halloween costume."

"Will do Damien!" Polly replies happily, "Anybody got ideas?"

"Video game characters?" Kale suggests.

"Not everybody plays silly video games," Vera frowns.

"We could do Disney Princesses!" Miranda suggests.

"No, Disney Villains!" Dmitri protests.

"How about Disney  _ Characters, _ " Amira pipes up.

"Oh, that's a good one. I'll write it down," Vicky already has her signature notepad in hand.

"How about the concept of emotions themselves," Liam suggests.

"How would you dress up for that?" Brian asks from beside him.

"Simple, you look at the emotion you were given and dress in it's the most abstract form to make an artistic point," Liam explains.

"We don't get it," one of the wolfpack members shouts.

"I don't either," Scott, Polly, and Amira say at the same time.

"Too difficult to dress up as," Vicky looks up from her pad, "Next!"

"We could all do couples' costumes!" Violet suggests.

"That is such a great idea Vi," Tate says in response to his girlfriend's suggestion, "We could be peanut butter and jelly."

"Why? Because we go together?" Violet asks.

"Of course sweetie," Tate responds, "Or a bee and a hive because you're my Honey."

"Aww shnookums!" Violet blushes, "You're the sweetest!"

"No you are!" Tate responds.

"Nooooo! You are!" Violet repeats.

After five minutes of the two's incessant flirting, their idea is rejected and most monsters are convinced they're going to die alone without anyone to love them. 

"I got the best idea ever," Polly floats forward next, "Let's all dress up as famous pornstars."

Everyone goes silent and looks at Polly for a second before ignoring she said anything in the first place.

For the next few hours, all the students brainstorm costume ideas and forget about the fact none of them wanted to be here in the first place. Why none of the teachers came looking for three classes worth of students is kinda concerning, but overlooked in favor of the discussion at hand. Pretty much everyone makes suggestions except Oz. Damien notices this.

"Hey Ozzie, isn't this holiday kinda your thing? Don't you have any ideas?" The demon isn't pushy with his question, it's more like he's creating an opening for Oz to jump in if he wants.

At least it was until Vicky overhears, "Oh yeah! You haven't suggested anything yet have you Oz? You usually have good ideas! Anything up in that noggin of yours?"

Just like that, a gentle nudge turns into a shove into the spotlight. Oz adjusts to this shove about as well as a cat thrown in water as he raises his hands towards the eyes glued to him.

"I-I don't really have any ideas that weren't already brought up," Oz stutters out under all the attention.

"Isn't Halloween like your thing or something?" Amira raises an eyebrow, "I mean, you're literally the incarnation-"

"And that's enough out of you," Brian places his hand over Amira's mouth before continuing, "Since Oz doesn't have any ideas, how about we move on and continue discussing ideas?"

To the surprise of Oz, most of the monsters taking part of the discussion seem a little disappointed by his lack of suggestions. It stabs a tiny bit of guilt into Oz's chest. Why did they even want to hear if Oz had any ideas? Most things Oz comes up with are terrible in one way or another. Sure, he can come up with a reckless and suicidal plan in a pinch, but that's about it on the whole idea making spectrum of things. Still considering all these things though, Oz is above all else a pleaser, and disappointing his friends wouldn't be good. He sucks up his nerves for a second and comes up with a costume theme to throw in.

"Actually, I just thought of something," Oz says without stuttering, "We could all dress up as each other."

Everyone looks slightly confused at the suggestion. Some share confused glances and others pretend to know what Oz means to not seem stupid.

Scott, completely oblivious to both groups, asks what everyone's thinking, "How would that work?"

Instead of shrinking in on himself and backtracking, Oz gets a thoughtful look as he continues talking, "We could all write our names on a slip of paper and then put them all in a bowl or something. Then, we could draw names and dress up as the person we got."

Oz breaks out of his explanation for everyone to be staring at him once again. He shuffles in place nervously a moment after no one responds. Guess that must have been a stupid suggestion. Oz is about to apologize for spouting his apparently stupid idea when Vicky cuts him off.

"That's perfect! If we dress up as each other, there's no way anybody won't understand the theme!" Vicky writes down something in her notepad.

"You aren't kidding it's a perfect idea!" Zoe squeals, "I hope I get to dress up as Vera- wait no- Amira- actually, not that- maybe Hope? GAH, I'm just so excited! We have to do this right now!"

"Calm down Zoe, we haven't even decided on anything," Amira tries to keep Zoe from breaking everyone's eardrums with one of her fangirl screams.

"You don't like the idea Amira?" Vera asks curiously.

"What? No, I think it's awesome. It gets rid of the risk of someone else wearing the same thing as you!" Amira says this as if being twinsies was the worst thing in the world, "Plus, I could totally rock anybody's outfit anyways. I was just opening the floor to anybody who disagreed with the idea."

"I certainly do not," Miranda pipes up, "Getting to dress up as a common peasant sounds like a very fun idea. It'll include all the joy of being poor while still being rich!"

"CALCULATING: _Completed_ ," Calculester beeps, "This does seem to be the most logical decision to make on the topic of Halloween costumes."

"I'm in for whatever," Kale claims.

"Same," Valerie nods.

Vera shrugs with a scoff, "As long as I pick my outfit, fine."

"We're totally in! Yeah, we love Halloween," The different members of the wolfpack speak over each other, "We can't let Scott do it and make us look like wusses! Yeah, and maybe we'll get some dates with our new outfits!"

The Interdimensional Prince and Dmitri perk at the last one and a couple of monsters groan. Now they're both going to talk about how-

"Yes! Changing my look will surely make someone accept my proposals!" The Prince says gallantly.

"I suppose changing my outfit might get a few to consider the dark side," Dmitri flips his hair, "Although I don't know why anyone would need more of an incentive to turn when I'm offering."

Both Dmitri cast a glance at Oz using their charm to the max, only to find Damien completely blocking the tinier monster's view of them with a glare. Zoe is emitting a terrifying aura on their other side. Oz, painfully oblivious Oz, somehow doesn't notice his two protective friends' actions. Dmitri and the Prince cease and desist.

"Hmm… I would usually consider this a trap from monster scum!" Slayer shouts before growing quiet, "...but, Oz and I are friends. I suppose one of his ideas are preferable to any of you other monsters."

"YEAH!" Dahlia shouts, "I'm so in for this! You better get ready LaVey, I'm gonna fashion the literal hell out of you!"

"SCREW YOU DAHLIA! I'll beat you and your little girlfriend!" Damien start to throw insults, "You fucking-"

"That's probably enough Damien," Oz carefully grabs his friend's forearm, "I think they get the point."

Slayer and Dahlia are blushing and glaring at the same time. It's becoming a common occurrence for the two girls. Damien luckily calms down although he does grumble under his breath about how annoying the two are. 

Oz chuckles a little and decides to humor his friend and speaks to Damien alone, "Don't worry about them Dames. I'm sure you'll look better than Dahlia no matter what you wear. You're the most handsome person I know."

Damien's stuck between blushing and gloating. His body makes the decision for him as he turns peach pink. How can Oz say things like that with such a straight face when he stutters out everything else? 

"...I don't know if I like this idea," Damien and Oz look up to see Violet looking unsure on Tate's head.

"What's not to love?!" Polly asks, "We get to dress up as our friends and be super hot while doing it!"

"Yeah… but…" Violet trails off.

"What is it?" Tate asks in concern.

"I don't really want to dress up as somebody else," Violet frowns, "Plus, how am I supposed to even dress up?"

"Violet… you don't have to-"

Polly interrupts Tate, "You silly mushroom! We can just let you and Tate dress up as each other! That way you don't have to dress up as another girl  _ and  _ you get to be in a couple's costume like you mentioned earlier!"

Violet's eyes light up, "TATE! Can we do that?! Can we do that please?! Pretty please with a cherry and whip cream on top?!"

Tate looks relieved despite his glasses, "Of course babe."

"Wait. That doesn't answer the question of how Violet will dress-" Polly shoots through the air and places a finger on Vicky's mouth.

"Shhhh! Be quiet my sweet friend…" Polly says while she awkwardly caresses Vicky's head, "Don't ask questions you don't want answered."

"But I-" Vicky is cut off yet again.

"Okay guys!" Polly floats away from Vicky with a kick in the air, "I think we've all decided on a Halloween Costume Theme! If anybody has any complaints, call- Ha, I'm kidding. This is totally what's happening and nobody gets to stop it at this point!"

"Well, since it's decided-" Vicky pulls her blue backpack off her shoulder, opens it up, and pulls out a metal bucket, some paper, and some pens, "Let's get to drawing names!"

"Why do you have a bucket in your backpack?" Oz asks curiously. 

Exactly like Polly a few moments earlier, Vicky uses her finger to shush Oz, "Don't ask questions you don't want answered."

Vicky pulls back from Oz and starts passing around papers and pens. While everybody writes their names, Vicky encourages everyone to put their signatures in the bucket. Minutes pass and soon enough everybody's name is in a pail. 

With the same amount of excitement as earlier, Zoe takes the first pick from the bucket. She reads the tiny scrap of paper before her eyes light up and she squeals, "I got Hope! This is great! I've already got cosplays for all the members of the Coven!"

"We're just going to ignore that," The Coven replies as each of them silently opens their papers that Vicky just let them pick.

"I got Miranda," Hope frowns.

"Polly," Faith supplies.

"I'm-," Joy sighs, "-Vera."

"Don't sound so bitter about it," Vera hisses as she takes a piece of paper from the pail, "You should be thankful you were lucky enough to pick my name! Hmm, let's see… I'm Valerie. Oh, I can do that easily."

Valerie laughs at Vera as she plucks a paper from the bucket, opens it, and purrs, "Looks like I got myself a purple vampire. I'm Liam."

Vicky pushes the bucket to Miranda next. The princess reaches into the bucket with unconcealed glee. Miranda takes out the paper, reads it, grins, then pretends to look distressed.

"Oh cruel fate! Woe is me! Even destiny has decided I cannot NOT be or noble lineage!" The pink merperson cries, "Oh to be doomed with the curse of royal blood!"

"Did you get Damien?" Zoe asks curiously.

"What?!" Miranda stops acting for a moment, looking a bit confused, "I got the Interdimensional Prince."

"Aww man!" Amira snaps her fingers, "I really wanted to see Miranda dressed up as Damien!"

Calculester takes a piece of paper from the bucket next and a loading screen shows up on his monitor, "I seem to have gotten fellow student Faith."

Zoe squeaks and jumps in place, "That's awesome! I'll give you my cosplay of Faith so you can wear it! Coven 2.0 needs to look good after all!"

"Coven 2.0!" The actual Coven shouts.

"Calm down wenches. It's my turn to pick," Dmitri reaches into the pail and swirls his cape in one swift motion, "Let's see… who is… Brian???"

"Over here," Brian waves and Dmitri looks at him, perturbed, "Sup."

"I'll be going next," Liam reaches into the bucket and reads his paper before scowling, "No! I refuse to dress in tacky clothing and go shirtless! I will not dress up as that horrible excuse of a vampire!"

"OMG! You have the worst luck Liam!" Polly laughs as she reaches into pail, "Oh hell yeah! I got Coach!"

Vicky pauses before moving to the next person, "Coach? Who put Coach in there?"

"Me! Duh!" Polly shouts, "I didn't wanna leave that giant kitten out!"

"But I got your name," Faith raises an eyebrow over her glasses.

"Yeah! Cuz I added two slips of paper!" Polly shouts yet again.

"Polly, that means there's going to be an extra-"

Vicky cuts Vera off, "There's nothing we can do about it now. Everybody still has someone to dress up as so it doesn't really matter."

"This is taking too long!" Aaravi lunges at Vicky and yanks a paper from the pail, "Who am I to dress up as? VICKY! Who's Vicky!?"

"That would be me," Vicky slowly raises her head from where she was hiding it from behind the bucket. Aaravi didn't look displeased, but she also didn't look satisfied.

"Okay, if the Slayer bitch gets to cut line, then so do I!" Damien steps towards Vicky but before he can reach into the bucket, a flash of blue gets there first.

"HA! Stupid LaVey! Declaring your plan before you enact it is an idiot's play! Now I've beat you to the punch!" Dahlia reaches into the bucket and pulls out a paper, "Joy? That's the leader of that Coven group right?"

"She's not the leader!" Faith and Hope grumble at the same time Zoe rushes towards Dahlia and drags her towards Calculester.

"Ok! Dahlia, you're the third member of the Coven 2.0! I've already got a costume made, but I'll have to adjust it for you," Zoe rambles off to a confused yet elated Dahlia, "We are going to have the best costumes ever! Don't you even worry!"

"HA! You hear that LaVey!" Dahlia calls over her shoulder, "I'm gonna get the best costume EVER! Suck on that you angry tomato!"

Aaravi stares after Dahlia for a few seconds before slowly walking back to her place in the crowd, quieter than usual. Oz goes out of his way to get closer to the girl just to make sure she's alright. Damien on the other hand, plunges his arm into the bucket so forcefully he actually leaves a dent in the bottom. He opens the note and reads it. He looks at the note and reads it again. Damien lights the paper on fire, throws it on the ground, and then stomps the ashes.

"I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE!" Damien growls before walking back to Oz with a scowl above all normal scowls.

Consider all the monsters present intrigued. Who did Damien get? None of them dare ask in case he literally explodes. After all, they just have to wait for his best friend to ask. Damien would never get mad at Oz.

Oz on the other hand, takes one look at Damien's face and narrows it down between two people through the power of deductible reasoning. Oz and Kale wouldn't bother the demon at all, Calculester, Blobert, and the Wolfpack would be a difficult pick, but Damien would take those as more of a challenge than an annoyance, Amira would barely phase him considering how Damien knew drag like the back of his hand, and Damien would be absolutely thrilled to pick Zoe and try to recreate her tentacles through dark magic. That only left two people. One of which tried to kill Damien more than the other.

"You got Aaravi didn't you?" Oz lets his head fall in his hands, already knowing he's right.

Everyone goes silent at the realization that Damien got his worst enemy, and promptly starts laughing. Aaravi being the most prominent laugher. Damien looks to be getting more and more pissed. In a moment of protectiveness, Oz sends a furious glare at all his friends to shut them up. All the monsters who were present the day Zoe came out of their totem take one look at Oz's face and get flashbacks. They all go quiet almost instantly. Other students catch on to the popular kids sudden silence and do the same. Most realize how pissed Damien is at that point and blame it on that.

"You aren't going to beat me and Dahlia at dressing up anytime soon Demon!" Aaravi smiles, "But please! Try your best! I'll happily watch you embarrass yourself.

Oz watches as Damien's rage switches to determination and wishes he could really smile, "This means nothing bitch. You are going to taste my dust when I blow you into next year with my sense of style!"

Taking her chance before the fighting picks up again, Vicky plucks a piece of paper from the bucket for herself.

"Oh, look at that! I got myself a person! I wonder who it-" Vicky's eyes light up, "I got Scott! Scott, I got you!"

"Yay!" Scott throws his hands in the air as Vicky rushes over to him.

"You've gotta pick now!" Vicky shows the bucket to Scott, "Go ahead and pick!"

Scott nods excitedly before doing what Vicky asked, "I got… Blobert!"

"Yay!" Blobert throws his little blobby hands in the air with a smile, "I'm so happy you got me Scott! I hope you're not disappointed in your choice!"

Everyone watching aws at the adorable slimeball. Oz shakes his head. Blobert really is too good for this world. 

Vicky leans down next to Blobert and offers him a bucket, "You can pick next bud."

Blobert smiles and takes one of the last papers, "I got Zoe! That's so awesome! Zoe's the sweetest of the sweet! She stalks people all the time because she cares about them!"

"BLOBERT JUST GETS ME!" Zoe cries.

Vicky rushes up to the Wolfpack before Blobert gets another chance to make someone else cry out of joy. Said pack of wolves lights up at the sight of Vicky and rush up to here.

"It's our turn right? We're gonna pick one yeah!" Some of the wolves cheer as their leader takes a paper from the bucket, "Woah! We got Calcudork?! So lame! No, we can make this work! Yeah! Let's go get some of the stuff right now!"

"Wait, you guys can't all dress as the same-" The Wolfpack is already gone, "...person. Well then, next person I guess."

Vicky steps up to the Interdimensional Prince and he reaches into the bucket with a wink at Oz. Damien growls as the Prince pulls out a piece of paper. Almost everyone in the group begs whatever higher being in the universe there is out there that he doesn't get Oz. Damien would probably kill him just for trying to wear Oz's clothing. Luckily, the higher being in the universe listened. As the Interdimensional Prince's hand is about to wrap around Oz's name, a new sheet of paper from an alternate timeline appears.

"Let's see-" The Prince smiles as he reads his paper, only to become confused, "Who is Leonard? We don't have a Leonard at this school?!"

Almost as if compelled by a greater deity, everyone ignores the Prince's exclamations.

As Vicky makes her way to Oz, he's sincerely hoping that out of everybody left, he doesn't get Dahlia. Oz was already worried about getting a girl and having to wear a dress. Getting Dahlia would leave Oz no other choice than to wear her signature two piece outfit. It would literally cause Oz to die of embarrassment.

With a bit of hesitation, Oz reaches into the pail and pulls out one of the three pieces of paper. As Oz opens the folding paper up to read, Damien leans over his shoulder to do the same.

Damien's eyes widen before he sports] a toothy grin, "Ha! Looks like you and me are mortal enemies now huh?"

Everyone who heard Damien's words looks confused. What did that mean? Oz and Damien being mortal enemies? Where are the flying pigs?

To further the confusion, Oz laughs in response, "Yeah, I guess we are. Should I light you on fire first or do you wanna try and poison me with holy water?"

Damien snickers, "I would fucking pay to see you try and set a regular fire by yourself. How would you light me on fire? Would you throw a match at me?"

Oz punches Damien in the shoulder playfully before noticing everybody's stare and showing them his paper, "I got Damien."

Zoe squeals, "You're literally dressing up as enemies?! How perfect! It's like a really cool couple's costume theme!"

Oz and Damien's ears both turn pink. Amira snickers at Oz while Vera does the same to Damien.

"How much longer is this going to take," Liam frowns, "I was planning on doing things you know."

"Oh yeah, sorry," Vicky walks up to the last three people needing to pick costumes quickly. It's a good thing that Kale, Amira, and Brian are all standing next to each other.

"You didn't have to stay here and watch everyone pick costumes," Brain says as all three monsters reach into the bucket, "I would have told you who got who later."

"Yeah," Polly floats up to Liam and pokes him in the chest teasingly, "You would have found out about the costumes later from  _ Brian _ , so why'd you stay here. Is it because you wanted to see who someone specific got to dress up as? Hmmm?"

"I-I… I don't know what you're talking about Polly," Liam looks away from his friend and crosses his arms.

"Hey, I got Dahlia," Amira eyes the blue demon talking to Zoe for a moment and smirks, "Oh yeah, I can totally rock that look."

"I got Oz," Kale declares with a nod in Oz's direction.

"Hmm, and I got you," Brian shows the humanoid plant his piece of paper as proof.

"WELP! Now we've all got costumes to get together-," Polly floats above the group, "I'm inviting all of you to my Halloween Bash!"

The Interdimensional Prince uses the attention Polly's gathered to speak up, "Actually, I think somebody else put a prank name in that metal can-"

Polly rushes forward and shushes the prince, "Don't ask where or when yet! Cuz I don't know!"

"That's not what I was going-"

"SHUUUUUSH!" Polly puts a finger on the Prince's mouth, "I'll figure out a time and place eventually! For now, we're all just gonna wear our costumes on the 31st, K?"

Everyone in the group accepts Polly's statements with no question. She never lies when it comes to parties, so everyone will just keep an ear open for the deets. The Interdimensional Prince still looks very displeased, but everyone ignores her. The crowd starts to disperse as Aaravi rounds on Oz and Damien with a dagger.

"Okay, here's how it's going to work demon!" Aaravi shouts, "You're going to give me all the information you have on Vicky and I might not cut your jugular!"

"Screw you! I'm not telling you shit!" Damien smirks cockily, "Plus, I'm sure I can live without a jugular or whatever."

"You… you… idiot!" Aaravi looks just between disbelief and dumbstruck, "The jugular is literally one of the most important veins in the body! Cutting it is like an instant crit if not one hit kill!"

Oz sighs. Seems like Damien's gonna need some help in biology when this is all over, but for now, Oz decides to mediate. He would usually be happy to just ask Vicky for a pair of extra clothes to give his Slayer friend, but Damien probably would be grumpy if Oz undermined him. That's when Oz remembers who Damien's supposed to dress up as and decides to make a mutually beneficial deal for the both of them.

"Hey, how about the both of you calm down so I can suggest something," Oz slowly pushes Aaravi's blade away from Damien's neck, "I think we can all help each other out."

"I don't need his/her help!" Both Damien and Aaravi shout while glaring at the other.

"J-Just hear me out," Oz pleads.

Damien sighs, but untenses a bit and crosses his arms. Seeing Damien calm down a little, Aaravi sheaths her dagger in her boot with a scowl. Her gaze softens a little when she turns to her friend Oz, but she still keeps an eye on Damien in her periferal.

"I'm really good friends with Vicky, so I'll give you all the information you want on her-" Damien and Aaravi interrupt Oz.

"OZ! NO!" Damien shouts whinely.

"Ha! Yes! My intel gathering will be complete with such an inside source! I didn't even need to level up my manipulation!" Aaravi celebrates early, "I knew that I-"

"You both didn't let me finish," Oz crosses his arms, "I wasn't done telling you my proposition.

Aaravi stops celebrating and Damien looks a little less annoyed that Aaravi's might get what she wants.

"I was going to say that I would tell you all you need to know about Vicky and convince her to loan you a pair of her clothes for your costume-" Aaravi looks increasingly excited and Damien frustrated until Oz continues, "-if you do the same thing for Damien."

Aaravi freezes and scowls while Damien's eyes widen in shock before he grins toothily. As Damien turns to oz with a far to happy expression for something so trivial, Aaravi seems to compare her choices. Oz is fully prepared for the girl to refuse, so he doesn't even act nervous. He wasn't lying when he said he could get Aaravi a pair of Vicky's clothes, but the girl was definitely too prideful to accept such an exchange.

"Hmph, fine. You've got a deal," Aaravi crosses her arms and agrees to Oz's surprise. Maybe Nora's therapy sessions have done a lot more good a lot quicker than Oz expected.

"Hell fucking yeah!" Damien shouts, "I am so going to have the best costume ever!"

"No demon, that right will still belong to Dahlia," Aaravi grins, "I'm just making a tactical decision that'll end in my favor."

"What does that mean you-"

Oz tunes Damien's insults out and offers Aaravi his hand, "Deal?"

Aaravi only hesitates a second before grabbing the outstretched hand, "Deal."

**_\--26 days until Halloween--_ **

Miranda, Polly, and Liam are sitting at a table by themselves as members of the student council hang orange and black streamers from the ceiling and doorways in the library. Apparently, they think if they make the school seem more festive, less accidents will happen. It's stupid, but at this point they'll try anything to prevent property damage. 

"When are you going to figure out where this whole 'Halloween Bash' thing is gonna be at?" Liam asks while he types on his phone, "The whole student body has been going on nonstop about our costumes and where they think the party'll be at. It's starting to get annoying."

"I would also like to know more information on this celebration," Miranda jumps in, "I've been working on my costume really hard and I want to know when it should be done by."

"When you say  _ you've  _ been working hard on your costume," Liam starts, "Do you actually mean you or do you mean one of your serfs?"

Miranda pouts, "Anything my serfs do under my command is considered something I do."

Liam rolls his eyes and responds sarcastically, "Oh yeah, I forgot how impressive it was you get them to do everything for you."

Miranda lights up, "Well of course I'm impressive! As a royal, it is my job to inspire the common folk! I'm glad you noticed Liam!"

"I was being sarcastic Miranda," Liam frowns before shaking his head and turning back to Polly, "You never answered our question."

"Hmm?" Polly looks up from the line of cocaine she's put down on the library table, "The party? OH YEAH! The Halloween party! It's obviously gonna be on Halloween at like sunset! I want it to have a super spookay atmosphere after all!"

"So you don't have a place for the party yet?" Liam asks as he looks up from his phone a moment.

"I actually do!" Polly protests, "I'm just not gonna tell anybody till the night of! Halloween's supposed to be super mysterious and stuff right!? I wanna showcase that by keeping the whole thing a secret until that morning!"

Miranda looks confused, "So you're having a surprise party?"

"Yes and no!" Polly answers with no further explanation to help Miranda understand.

"What does that mean?" Miranda seems even more puzzled.

Liam groans and takes it upon himself to explain things to his lesser than averagely intelligent friend, "Polly's keeping the party a secret until the day of, so more people will come out of curiosity. She's using mystery as a tactic to coeurce party goers to her party rather than anywhere else Halloween night."

"Nooo! Well, yeah, but also because going somewhere without actually knowing what's there is like a scary horror movie set up 101!" Polly jumps in, "Everyone will be super paranoid to come to my party on Halloween might if I set it up somewhere sketchy!"

"Aren't we all scary enough?" Miranda asks, "We are all monsters are we not? Dozens of people are already scared of us. Millions of people are afraid of the Vanderbilt family too. Why use such cheap tricks to unnerve people?"

"That's not the kinda scary we're looking for Miranda!" Polly shouts, "That's the anxiety and fear of real stuff kinda thing. We're looking for the undead spirits of vengeance coming out of their graves to haunt you. The kinda fear that makes your hairs stand up and goosebumps show up on your arms! The kinda terror when you watch two eldritch abominations fight for dominance over the plane of reality!"

"I can do that," Miranda says immediately.

Both Polly and Liam freeze before laughing their heads off. The serfs behind Miranda watch and fear for their lives. If Miranda's friends put their princess in a bad mood, they'll suffer for it later.

"OMG! You-" Polly doubles over, "You're like a pink kitten Miranda! You couldn't even scare a fly! Well, you could threaten it with being executed and scare it, but that's not the point!"

"Yes, Polly is right for once," Liam stops laughing, but barely regains his earlier composure, "You could scare someone by threatening them with your army, but you would never creep someone out by yourself."

"I-I-" Miranda looks very distressed, "I could scare any of you without my serfs right now!"

"Aww, don't get upset Miranda," Polly coos, "We weren't trying to be mean. It's just some people are better at some things than others. While you might not be very good in the whole scaring department, you're an awesome singer and your crafting skills are pretty great too."

"You are a good partner in art discussions on the rare occasion too," Liam adds, already back on his phone.

Miranda doesn't seem cheered up at all. She stands up from her seat at the table and storms past the bookshelves and out of the library, leaving even her serfs behind. 

"Uhhh, should we go after her?" Polly asks out of concern.

"No. You know how Miranda gets when things don't go her way," Laim responds, "Give it thirty minutes and she'll be fine."

Polly shrugs, "Whateva you say."

"Now, back to the topic of the party," Liam sets his phone down and leans forward, "What is your idea of a 'sketchy' place? Because if you're planning on throwing a party in a graveyard you shouldn't expect me to show up."

Polly grows defensive, "What's wrong with having a Halloween party in a graveyard?!"

"So many things! Literally everything!" Liam pulls up a list on his phone and shows it to Polly, "I just looked up Halloween parties at graveyards. Tell me what's wrong with the results?"

Polly leans forward and scans the phone, "Most of the parties got broken up by police or somebody got cursed by vengeful spirits?"

Liam sighs in exasperation, "No Polly. There's five hundred thousand results for search! It's too outdone! Be a little more original! Find an abandoned amusement park, or ancient crypt! Hell, even having it in the middle of the woods would be more interesting than a graveyard!"

Polly looks thoughtful for a moment before looking at Liam with an amount of sincerity that only shows up when talking about parties, "Would you help me plan this party Liam?"

Said Vampire is surprised for about two seconds before he smirks, "Well, who am I to disagree with such a nice offer?"

Meanwhile, Miranda stomps down the hallways of Spooky High until she reaches the co-ed bathrooms. The merprincess practically kicks the door open as she paces the room angrily. Who are her friends to say she isn't scary?! Miranda's plenty scary! There are nations that would cower and run just at the mention of her name! So what if her serfs helped her with all the dirty work along the way?! Daddy says the best part about being a ruler is that everybody has to do what you say! That's normal! Why would Miranda need to prove she can do things by herself?! It's absolute stupidity.

However, as much as Miranda's cold-hearted patriotism and pride are a part of her personality, she's still a teenage girl with normal emotions. She still wants her friends to agree with what she says, she wants to impress them, and most of all, Miranda wants them to be proud to call her a comrade. Miranda's anger turns to despair. Miranda frowns and covers her face before sliding down the bathroom wall towards the floor.

"Miranda? Are you alright?" Said princess doesn't even take the time to consider who's talking to her, her need to be heard overriding her sense of privacy and too much information.

"Liam and Polly think I'm too cute to be scary! They think that just because I use my serfs to scare people it means I can't terrify people!" Miranda fumes, "They said that I wouldn't be able to do it by myself and practically laughed at my face when they said otherwise! It was so mean! I could scare anybody at Spooky High if I wanted too!"

The person talking to Miranda doesn't answer for a moment as they think, "I think anything or anybody can be really scary if they want to. I mean, who's to say that even a puppy can't be terrifying under the right circumstances?"

Miranda sniffles. When did she start crying? 

"Really?" Miranda finally looks up.

"Of course! Hey, if you really, really want to prove them wrong. I'll help you think of something to really freak them out."

Miranda smiles at her friend, "Father always did say revenge is the best way to prove a point. I'd love your help!"

**_\--18 days until Halloween--_ **

Oz trusts Zoe. He trusts her enough to let her hang out with Damien despite knowing how she gets when she ships people. He trusts her to decorate the house with Halloween decorations without using real corpses as decor. Oz trusts her to not destroy his house whenever he goes out on errands. Oz does not, however, trust her to be alone with Dahlia, Calulester, and Aaravi while Oz helps Vicky and Amira make they're costumes. Sadly, that's exactly what his roommate wants from him.

If it was her and Calculester with either Dahlia or Aaravi alone, Oz would say yes. However, with all four of them together, he has to say no. Especially with Dorathy being so prone to swallowing things she finds annoying whole. Speaking of a certain cat, Dorathy steps out of nowhere and rubs against Oz's leg in an action that must have been trying to comfort him. 

"Oz, I promise I'll keep them under control!" Zoe's been begging, pleading, and bargaining her case for the last three hours, "The whole house will be exactly as you left it when you come back in the morning! I won't mess with a thing!"

Oz shakes his head as his phobias, the little traitors, also try to convince him to let Zoe have her sleepover. Oz wants to bang his head against a wall. Zoe might have changed a lot when she came out of her totem, but her persistence stayed the same.

"Zoe, you know I trust you," Oz tries to say no yet again, "I've literally told you everything I've ever considered a secret. This isn't about trust, this is about having two of our school's most violence prone students in one place, plus a robot that is most likely going to aggravate them at every turn!"

"But Ooooooozzzz!" Zoe drawls, "I have to have the Coven 2.0 over so they can try on their costumes!"

"Then why is Aaravi coming over too?" Oz asks, "If you were trying on your costumes for Halloween, why would you want her here?"

"Because it's gonna be a girls night!" Zoe bounces in place, "Plus, Dahlia wanted her to come."

"Then why is Calculester coming?" Oz wonders aloud.

"Because he's technically not a boy or a girl," Zoe explains, "Plus, he's fun in a nerdy kind of way."

Oz leans down and picks Dorathy off the ground to pet her, "Look Zoe, having all four of you together under one roof is just begging for trouble. I don't think it's a good-"

"I won't tease you until after the Halloween Party if you let me have a sleepover," Zoe stops bouncing and looks Oz straight in the eyes.

Oz looks at Zoe in complete surprise, "You'll what?"

"If you let me have a slumber party," Zoe steps forward with an innocent smile and pokes Oz, "I won't only not tease you about how you have to dress up as Damien for Halloween, but I won't say a word about how you blushed when you tried on the clothes he gave you."

As if mirroring the scene Zoe was describing, Oz turns crimson. Zoe has a feeling that the only reason Oz isn't putting his hands over his face is because of the cat in his arms.

"So, what do you say? I keep silent about this in exchange for having the house to myself tonight," Zoe questions again.

"You already promised you wouldn't joke around about stuff like that when Damien's around!" Oz exclaims.

"I never said I would tell Damien anything!" Zoe replies, "I'm just thinking you wouldn't like Vicky or Amira to find out about that either, or would you?"

Oz's blush is taken over by a look of deep seated dread, "You wouldn't."

"Hmmm, you're right. I wouldn't do that if you let me invite my friends over while you're gone," Zoe smiles deviously.

Oz stares at Zoe and observes her expressions. Would she really do that? Oz's mind says no, but his heart panics and says yes. 

In bitter defeat, Oz relents and accepts he's not going to get his way, "...Fine. You can have your friends spend the night while I'm at Amira's place. Please just don't destroy things or let Dorathy eat someone's arm."

"YESSSS! You're awesome Oz! I promise the house will be just like you left it when you leave," Zoe starts pushing Oz out the door, "Now go. I told them you'd be gone by seven so they're going to show up in like thirty minutes!"

Oz, with Dorothy still in his arms, is pushed out the door by Zoe, "You seriously invited them over before I said yes? What were you going to do if I stuck to my answer and said no?"

"You think I don't have more dirt on you and your blushing fits," Zoe giggles then starts shutting the door slowly, "Say hi to Vicky and Amira while you're out! Oh, and we're gonna need some more snacks after tonight, so maybe stop at a grocery store or something tomorrow morning."

"I-" Zoe slams the door in Oz's face, cutting off whatever he was going to say.

With a sigh, Oz looks down to the bright orange tabby cat in his arms. With little effort, Oz lefts the cat up by it's two front paws and stares into her eyes.

"Zoe didn't even wait for me to set you down," Oz chuckles, "Do me a favor and keep them under control for me, alright Dorothy?"

A flicker of extreme intelligence flashes through the cat's gaze as Oz sets her down in the nearest shadow. Dorothy disappears through the darkness, there's a sudden pitter patter through the inside of Oz's house, and when the incarnation of fear looks up, the cat is staring at Oz from the inside of the nearest window into his house. With one little wave at the feline, Oz sinks into the shadows himself to get going. He hopes his house will still be standing in the morning.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the door Zoe starts to rush around the house excitedly as she prepares for her first sleepover ever. Even better, it's her first holiday themed sleepover! 

After a long internet search on Oz's computer. Zoe figured out not only the traditions of slumber parties, but also all the fun activities to do during one in the Halloween season. From snacks to movies, Zoe has everything ready. All she has to do now is-

The doorbell rings. 

Zoe squeals in delight and rushes over to the door as quickly as possible. She hastily grabs the doorknob and opens it up.

"Hey girls! Are you ready for-" Zoe stops when she realizes that it's not her friends at the door and instead some old guy wearing a white full head mask, "Uhhh, I think you have the wrong house sir."

The man shakes his head at Zoe.

"What do you mean no? Look, my roommate didn't say anybody was coming over so I know this is the wrong address," Zoe huffs, "Maybe check with whoever sent you here, k? I'm waiting for somebody and I can't deal with some lost rando who rings my doorbell today."

They both stare at each other in silence before the man with the mask raises his fist over his head.

"Aren't you too old to be pulling Halloween pranks?" Zoe asks rhetorically before promptly slamming the door in his face. 

As Zoe steps away from the door she frowns. She guesses her friends are gonna be a little later than expected. However, as Zoe turns to walk back into the living room to wait, the door rings yet again. Zoe huffs in exasperation before stomping back to the door and yanking it open.

"Look dude, I already said I-" Zoe switches tunes quickly when she sees Dahlia, Slayer, and Calculester outside, "Hey, it's you guys! Come on in! Come on in!"

"Yes friend Zoe," Calulester steps into the house with a digital smile as Dahlia and Slayer follow, "Thank you for inviting us in."

"Who were you expecting when you opened the door?" Slayer asks curiously, "You definitely didn't think it was us."

"Oh, there was just this annoying guy who rang my doorbell before you," Zoe says dismissively before turning to Slayer, "You brought your costume so you could try it on with us right?"

"Of course I did!" Slayer huffs, "I don't know why you wanted me to dress up when I'm not a part of your little group but I'm not forgetful."

"Aww! Don't be that way!" Zoe pouts, "I invited you because we're friends and I like having you around!"

Zoe does not add the fact she thinks Dahlia and Slayer would be a perfect couple and is trying to get them to develop more than platonic feelings for each other. Nope, she does not add that because Oz has told her that kind of behavior is considered a breach of privacy, and while she doesn't plan on stopping, she also doesn't plan on letting this ship sink.

Dahlia agrees with Zoe, "You are my best advisor on how to get rid of the LaVey family and other affairs, so of course your comradery is very valuable to us!"

Slayer blushes and Dahlia sends her an 100-watt smile. Zoe blanches. Maybe she really doesn't have that much to do to get them together after all.

"Well, anyways," Zoe changes the subject, "How about we all try on our costumes! I wanna make sure Dahlia's and Calculester's fits!"

Dahlia's eyes get a certain fire to them, "YES! Show me the outfit that will ascertain my victory against the demons of the 8th circle Zoe! Show me your weapons of war!"

Zoe giggles at Dahlia's eagerness, "Okay! All of you follow me!"

Zoe leads them all into the living room and hands Dahlia her costume. She picks up Calulester's next and hands it to him. Slayer waits patiently while twirling her dagger. 

"Ok, the bathroom is down the hall, third door to the right. You can change in there Dahlia. When you're finished, Slayer can use it next," Zoe instructs, "I'll change into my costume quick in my room and Calculester, you can-"

Zoe was going to say she needed to measure Oz and make some adjustments to the garments before he could wear them. The robot in front of her is the only student at monster high she hasn't been able to get exact measurements on secretly. However, before Zoe can express her plans, she gets cut off.

"I have already completed putting on my costume friend Zoe," Calculester interrupts.

Zoe's head swivels in the robot's direction to see that he has indeed already put his costume on. The dress that Zoe was planning on fixing to fit Calculester perfectly was tugged over his mechanic shoulders and stuck to him metaltight. Somehow, Calculester even got tape from somewhere and used it to attach Faith's signature earring and glasses to his head. The witch's tights and shoes were also put on in a way that really showcased the human shaped clothes that weren't supposed to be on a robot.

Despite all this, Calculester seemed extremely happy to tell the girls that he had put on his costume and Zoe couldn't find it in her heart to tell him how ill fit the outfit was. Dahlia and Slayer didn't seem to share the sentiment, but one glare from Zoe kept them quiet.

"You look great Cal!" Zoe smiles as she adjusts the bow on the blouse and the bracelet on his arm, "The spitting image of Faith."

"Perfect! I am so glad to be properly doing these Halloween traditions!" Calculester sounds ecstatic.

"You're doing amazing Cal," Zoe encourages, "Are you and Slayer fine with standing here while Dahlia and me get dressed first?"

"Yes friend Zoe," Calculester gives her a thumbs up while Slayer just nods curtly.

"Ok then," Zoe grabs Dahlia's hand, which immediately grabs Slayer's attention, before heading down the hall, "Be right back."

Just like that, Calculester and Slayer are left alone in the living room by themselves. Slayer continues twiddling her knife and Calculester glances at her every few seconds.

" ENABLING SYSTEM PROTOCOL:  _ Small talk, _ " Calculester says out of nowhere before turning to Slayer, "Wonderful weather we are having today. What is your opinion on that?"

Slayer raises an eyebrow, "You know you don't have to talk to me if you don't want to right?"

"I know I do not have to, but my research on 'slumber parties' suggested that the participants of the party should communicate in a way that shows platonic affection," Calculester tilts his head, "I apologize in advance if my information was wrong."

"Pft, I don't know how this sleepover stuff works. I've never even been to one before so don't expect me to be the person to answer your dumb questions. Hell, the only reason I'm even here is because heart events improve relationships with NPCs," Slayer sheathes her knife and puts a hand on her hip and blushes a little, "And because Dahlia insisted I come with her."

"This is your first slumber party also?" Calculester sounds relieved, "It is good to know I am not alone in this new endeavor. Hopefully we will both properly perform to the expectations of our other friends."

"I- uh-" Slayer is a little surprised by Calculester's lack of insight to her comments being insulting, "Sure, yeah. I hope you do good at this sumper party thing as well."

Both monsters fall into a comfortable silence as they wait for Zoe and Dahlia to get finished dressing. While they're waiting, Slayer finds her attention drawn to the nearest window. The sun is going down and the trees outside are turning orange, but that's not what catches her attention. Slayer tenses as she locks eyes with a man in a full head white mask with brown synthetic hair. She slowly reaches for her dagger to lunge at the window and attack when-

"Aaravi! What do you think of my costume!" Slayer whips her head towards the hallway to a familiar blue demon, "Do you think it's going to beat LaVey?"

Slayer ignores her friend for a moment to turn back to the window with the mysterious threatening man. To her surprise, there's nobody outside. Not a soul is looking in anymore. Slayer relaxes before rubbing her forehead in annoyance. Either she's got a teleporting man on her hands, or the anxiety of a sleepover is getting to her. Either way, Slayer calms down for the moment, pushes the concerns to the back of her head, and turns to Dahlia to examine her new clothes.

The blue demon has her arms spread wide to properly show off her new clothes. In Slayer's honest opinion, she thinks Dahlia looks better in her regular get-up, but for the competition going on between her and Damien it seems perfect. There was nothing extravagant about the costume, but it was a shockingly good replica of Joy's outfit. The see through sleeves, black jumper, knee high boots, leggings, and golden accessories really did seem like something straight from the witch girl's closet. What surprised Slayer more was the fact it fit Dahlia to a T. It almost looked tailor made.

Slayer nods at Dahlia in approval, "With that there is no way that obnoxious red demon will beat our costumes."

"Hell yeah! That's what I like to hear!" Dahlia punches the air above her and Slayer smiles.

The pitter patter of footsteps is heard down the hall. Zoe rushes into the living room right next to Dahlia. Zoe looks like she's about to say something important, but she gets easily distracted when she notices Dahlia in her Joy costume.

"You look so awesome Dahlia!" Zoe flutters around the demon as she inspects her clothes, "It fits alright right? You look awesome! We are so going to blow everyone away with our awesome looks!"

Zoe's costume was surprisingly the simplest of all the others. A set of high heels, a dark purplish dress, and a red choker with a gold charm on it.

"Okay, Slayer," Zoe starts, "The bathroom is all yours now! Go get dressed and then we'll start our super fun ACTIVITIES!"

Responding with nothing more than a nod, Slayer makes her way towards the bathroom down the hall with the change of clothes she has on her along with all her weapons. Once inside the bathroom, she locks the door before laying out her costume that she received from Oz. With practiced speed from years of RPG esk training. Slayer changes outfits in record time. Before heading back out, she takes a look at herself in the mirror. 

Even though Slayer's never personally met this Vicky person, they have somewhat the same body types. The clothes are a little baggy, but fit Slayer almost perfectly. A white undershirt with a dark blue sweater over the top. The pants that came along with it were plain black jeggings and the shoes were similar in taste and color. The most special piece of the outfit were the set of bolts made to be glued on the side of Slayer's neck. When she asked Oz about them when they traded clothes a couple days ago, he explained that this Vicky person couldn't actually remove her bolts or change them so Oz went through the trouble of buying some fake ones online especially for Aavari.

The outfit is obviously very different from Slayer's regular attire. With her head being exposed and her lack of visible weapons, but Slayer found a way to fix the latter.

Of course, the simple exterior of the clothes was drastically different from the tampered with interior. After a few long hours of learning how to sew, stitch pockets, and create pocket dimensions with magic, Slayer found a way to conceal forty-eight different weapons on her person. Slayer might have agreed on the whole costume thing, but she is  _ not  _ getting caught unprepared for any reason. When Slayer returns these clothes to this Vicky person, she should be thankful for Slayer's strategic alterations.

Satisfied that Slayer could reach any of the weapons and blades she wanted in a pinch, she turns to the bathroom door and sets her hand on the doorknob. Slayer takes one last glance at the shawl in her arms, before heading out of the bathroom and back in the living room. Slayer walks back into the mentioned room to find Dahlia and Zoe grinning their heads off excitedly while Calculester digitally frowns.

"I'm dressed. What are we doing next?" Slayer says monotone, catching everyone's attention.

Zoe rushes over to Slayer, "OMG! You look just like Vicky! It's perfect!"

Dahlia steps up beside Slayer and grins, "I agree! You look very much like the tiny blue girl. Although I personally like the way you look normally, this costume still suits you very well."

Slayed blushes a little, "T-Thanks."

Calculester steps up to the trio next, "To answer your question fellow student Slayer, we were just about to watch horror movies as it is supposed to be a sleepover tradition."

Forgetting about Slayer's new outfit entirely, Zoe jumps in place and starts rambling, "Yeah! There were tons of stuff on my slumber party activities list, but Oz made me promise not to do anything that would destroy his house. I had to get rid of a lot of stuff after that, but horror movies made it onto the final agenda. Which is awesome because Oz owns like every horror movie in existence!"

"What were you arguing about then?" Slayer asks curiously.

"We weren't arguing," Zoe giggles.

"We were just discussing our opinions on movies with a loud volume and heated passion!" Dahlia grins.

"Friend Dahlia, that is the definition of arguing," Calculester speaks up.

"Ah, look at you computer boy," Dahlia slings an arm over Calculester's shoulders, "You and your nerd brain always come up with the right facts. If you ever decide you want the LaVey family gone just as much as me, know your welcome on me and Aaravi's team."

"Ah, yes. Thank you for the offer friend Dahlia," Calculester replies politely, "...but I do not intend of attempting murder on friend Damien anytime soon."

"Okay, enough trying to gain allies in your fight against the 8th circle," Zoe pipes up and gets closer to Slayer, "You've gotta help us decide between Friday the 13th and Scream! Calculester refuses to pick a side!"

Slayer seems a little overwhelmed, "Uhh, what are they about?"

"Serial killers," All three of the monsters across from her answer at the same time.

"That… tells me little to nothing," Slayer replies monotone.

"Well we haven't watched it yet!" Zoe huffs, "And we forbade Calculester from looking up the plot in his head. That would defeat the point of watching it!"

"Okay then," Slayer turns her gaze to Dahlia, "What did you want to watch?"

"Friday the 13th," Dahlia replies quickly, "The killer has a hockey mask and a super cool machete! It reminds me of all the weapons you use! Plus, I'm pretty sure it's based on a true story!"

"So is mine! The killing of Billy Loomis and Stu Macher famously occured in California during 1996!" Zoe recites, "Or at least that's what Calculester told me a few minutes ago.

Slayer ignores Zoe, blushes a little at the fact Dahlia was kinda picking partly because of her, and tries to answer normally, "Friday the 13th is what I pick."

"Nooo! Favoritism!" Zoe whines.

"Haha! I told you Aaravi would side with me!" Dahlia laughs.

"Yeah, you told me so," Zoe sighs, "Calculester, can you turn on the TV while I get the movie's hooked up. Dahlia, there's a bunch of snacks in the kitchen, do you mind grabbing them please?"

"No, I do not. Come on Aaravi! We have a quest to the kitchen," Dahlia rushes out of the living room and Slayer follows happily, leaving Zoe and Calulester by themselves.

Calculester walks over to the coffee table, and picks up the remote. He stands up quickly and pushes the button. 

Immediately, the TV starts blaring and a news reporter comes on, "...Michael Myers has yet again escaped from the Smith's Grove Sanitarium workers in his cross country transfer to another state. We are alerting all those in the area of the escape to look out for the man in question who has killed 121 people with many more deaths suspected. We repeat, there is a dangerous serial killer on the loose and we recommend all residents of the area-"

"There appears to be a very important new cast on," Calculester turns to Zoe.

"Eh, don't worry about it Cal. Most of the stuff they broadcast on there is propaganda and crap about the weather," Zoe shrugs as she goes through the tablet, "Oracles that predict the future are so much more reliable."

"If you say so friend Zoe," Calculester sets the remote down as Zoe hooks the tablet up to the TV.

In a few seconds, the television screen turns black before the opening credits of Friday the 13th appear. Almost the moment they appear, Dahlia and Slayer make their way back into the living room with tons of junk food in both of their arms.

"Is the movie ready?" Slayer asks curiously.

"Yeah, the credits are starting right now," Zoe rushes to the other side of the living room and turns the lights off, "Everyone sit down. This is gonna be good."

Slayer and Dahlia sit down side by side at the end of the couch while Zoe and Calculester sit in the middle. The movie starts and everyone prepares to be scared. Turns out, it's hard to scare monsters who've had more real life horror experience than the average joe and a robot with no algorithm for fear. What started as a chance to scare themselves silly turns into scalding amounts of criticism towards the protagonists and compliments towards the antagonist.

The whole time the movie's playing, all four are less into the plot and more into the plot holes. Anything that seemed off, or a little strange was pointed out quickly before getting laughed at by the others. Kind of disrespectful to the real life people that died in the very real events, but most of them have killed twice this amount of people in even more gruesome ways. Plus, they go to school with zombies, ghosts, and skeletons. Who are they to respect the dead?

The four monsters make it through Friday the 13th, Scream, Chucky, the Shining, Pet Cemetery, and the Nightmare on Elm Street before they finally run out of snacks. This only stops the monsters from for a moment before they decide to continue their marathon without. By this time it's near midnight and the sky outside is pitch black.

They're all just about to put in the movie Halloween when a crashing sound is heard from the kitchen followed by a dull thud. Slayer whips out dual-wielding daggers, Calculester's screen turns red, and Dahlia jumps to her feet with her fists raised. Zoe on the other hand, seems barely phased.

"Don't worry about that. It's probably just dorothy regurgitating another car," Zoe shrugs as she pushes play on the next movie.

"One, why does your cat throw up cars? Two, your cat's over there," Slayer points to the orange tabby cat laying on top of a nearby shelf.

Zoe follows Slayer's finger and frowns before looking around the couch cushions for something, "Huh, well I guess somebody broke in then."

"Friend Zoe, robbery is a very common crime that can result in loss of many valuable items. Are you not concerned for your things?" Calculester asks.

"Oh, sure I am. I'm just not gonna go running after them and let us miss the beginning of Halloween," Zoe finally finds the remote and points it at the TV, "Aha! Found the remote. Now that our movie's paused, who's up for stopping a robbery?"

"I'm in!" Dahlia raises her hand, "Hopefully they'll put up a good fight and I'll get to punch somebody."

"I already have enough weapons on me to properly butcher a monster, so I guess I'll join you two," Slayer shrugs and stands up with a stretch.

"Wait, friends and fellow student, should we not call the authorities? It is not smart to confront a robber by ourselves!" Calculester voices his concern.

"Who told you that?" Dahlai scoffs.

"Cal, Slayer's killed dozens of monsters, Dahlia's a warrior from hell, I'm an entity of destruction that can destroy the world, and you're literally a man made of steel," Zoe smiles, "I doubt anyone could shoot us. They're even less likely to stab us."

Calculester still seems to consider Zoe's words before perking up, "You are right friend Zoe. We are very strong and could probably overpower a small army. A robber does not stand a chance."

"That's the spirit buddy!" Dahlia pats the robot on the back, "Now let's get going and see who's in the kitchen."

Slayer, Dahlia, Calculester, and Zoe casually stroll down towards the kitchen. They walk into the room and do a quick once over. There's no robbers in the kitchen anymore, but there sure was somebody a few minutes ago. The window over the stove was completely smashed in and glass lay all over the counter top and floor. The person responsible for the window probably got in through it as well and booked it to a different part of the house.

"Aw man! Oz is going to be so upset about the window!" Zoe whines, "This is the fifth time it's gotten broken this month!"

Ignoring Zoe's whining, Calculester walks over to the kitchen cutlery, "Friend Zoe, Your knife block is short a knife."

"What?" Zoe walks through the glass with no hesitation and stands next to Calulester, "Huh, guess Oz must've lost one."

"No," Slayer frowns and walks around the kitchen to avoid the glass, "All the knives were here earlier. I know because I specifically pointed out the set of quality blades to Dahlia."

Dahlia nods, "Yes, that is true. Aaravi pointed those weapons out to me the moment we walked into the room."

"That means the robber stole one of Oz's knives so he could try and stab us!" Zoe's face grows deadly, "How dare he take my roommate's stuff without his permission. We need to find this guy and teach him a lesson."

With perfect timing, Dorothy rushes into the room and starts yowling urgently. The flerken desperately looks between the monsters present and the doorway. Zoe catches on to what her domestic alien cat thing wants almost immediately.

"You want us to follow you girl?" Zoe asks this and Dorothy's tail twitches as if in confirmation, "Ok, lead the way then Dorothy!"

"Is it a smart thing to be following a cat in such a crisis?" Calculester aks.

Zoe ignores Calculester favor of following Dorothy out the door. Dahlia and Slayer share a look before shrugging and following Zoe. Calculester stands in the kitchen by himself for a few seconds before silently deciding to just follow his friends. 

They walk down the hallway, past Oz's room, and towards Zoe's. The cat leading them looks back at them as they go just make sure she's being followed. Once they get to Zoe's door, Dorathy stops and sits in front of it with an adorable meow. 

Zoe crouches down next to the cat and lowers her voice, "Is the guy who broke in our house in my room sweetie?"

Dorothy turns her head towards Zoe and her ear twitches. Zoe's eyes light up as she stares into the alien creature's eyes. Slayer taps Zoe on the shoulder when that goes on for long enough. 

"Do you think the person trying to rob you is in there Zoe?" Slayer asks.

"For sure," Zoe nods before placing her ear against the door. She keeps her head there for a few seconds before pulling back, "I can hear a heartbeat. Plus, they're so mentally deranged that their mind alone could probably feed me for a year."

Before anybody can make a comment on that, Zoe grabs the doorknob and opens the door to her room cheerily. Almost instantly, a man lunges out from behind the door and attempts to stab Zoe. However, with the speed eldritch nightmares are known for, Zoe grabs the man's wrist and snaps it. A lot less slower by eldritch standards, but pretty fucking fast by mortal standards, Dahlia, Aaravi, and Calculester are by Zoe's side.

"YOU ALMOST STABBED A HOLE IN MY DRESS!" Zoe's red eyes start glowing and her tentacles float above her head.

Aaravi's expression is dark and she twirls the blades in her hands skillfully and menacingly to Zoe's right, Dahlia threateningly punches her fists together to Zoe's right, and Calculester towers behind Zoe with a red screen as his left hand slowly forms into a tazer.

Zoe's attitude shifts suddenly, "Wait… You're the guy that rang my door earlier! Why are you in my house?!"

…the next morning.

Oz walks towards his house and down the street as he tries to fight off exhaustion. Vicky and Amira were relentless in their badgering when they found out Oz knew how to sew. They spent the entire night making the costumes, but they got finished. Vicky's was probably the easier of the two, considering Scott was nice enough to give her some of his old clothes and all they had to do to make them fit was tailor them a bit. Amira's had to be made from scratch and multiple prototypes had to be made before the finished project.

As Oz rounds a corner and his house is in sight, he finds himself holding his breath. Now's the time Oz gets to see what kind of property damage he has to deal with. Honestly, Oz is already just relieved the house is still standing. Oz steps up to the door, unlocks it with a pair of keys, and slowly peaks in. To say the sight shocked him would be a bit of an understatement.

Zoe, Aaravi, Dahlia, and Calulester are all sitting on the couch next to the famous serial killer Michael Myers, and an old acquaintance of Oz's. As in, Oz ate the fear of his victim's before they died on multiple occasions.

"You're telling me that she thought you were her boyfriend just because you had a sheet over your head?!" Zoe laughs as the man with a white full head mask nods, "Oh my god! She totally deserved to die for being that stupid!"

Aaravi nods, "I've tortured some pretty stupid trolls before, but that has to take take the cake in stupidest thing I've heard or seem somebody do."

"Agreed!" Dahlia frowns, "I could see someone thinking you were a ghost, but their boyfriend? She was a complete bonehead."

It's at this point that Zoe notices Oz and waves to him, "Hey Oz! Look at the new friend we made! His name is Mikey and he tried to break into our house to kill us! Don't worry though, it was only because he was insane. I just ate some of his madness and now he's pretty normal." 

Micheal Myers, or Mikey, takes the silence to wave at Oz.

"Well, he's mute, but that's pretty common nowadays. We just ask him yes or no questions, isn't that right Mikey," Zoe turns to Michael and he nods.

Oz slams the door and rubs his eyes a moment. Is he hallucinating? Oz slowly opens the door again to see a serial killer still on his couch. 

"Oz? Are you okay?" Zoe asks in concern.

"Yeah," Oz says plainly before stepping into the house and locking the door behind him, "I'm just going to head to my room. You all just continue having fun with… Mikey."

"Ok, sure," Zoe smiles as Oz walks past them. Oz makes it halfway across the living room before Zoe calls after him, "Oh, and I wanted to tell you that the kitchen window got broken. Sorry, but I promise I'll get it fixed."

"It's fine Zoe," Oz replies monotone before stepping into the hallway and heading towards his room.

Once Oz is gone, everyone turns their attention back to Michael along with Dorothy.

"So, you've got to tell us more about how you got shot twice, fell off the second floor of a building, and still walked away," Aaravi insists.

"Do you have teleportation?" Zoe asks.

Michael shakes his head. These types of questions continue most of the day until the late afternoon.

**_\--12 Days Until Halloween--_ **

"A h-h-haunted house?" Scott asks tentatively, "Aren't t-those supposed to be scary?"

"Yes Scott, that would be the point of a 'haunted' house," Vera snarks.

"Hey don't be mean! Scott was just asking!" Vicky immediately defends the trembling werewolf.

Amira, Brian, Liam, Miranda, Polly, Scott, Valerie, Vera, and Vicky are all standing in the bathroom discussing their plans for the night. At the moment they were discussing about the haunted house Valerie suggested then visiting. Apparently it was rated five stars and had very good reviews. 

"You don't have to come with us if you don't want to," Liam comments, "At least you have a choice if you want to go or not. Polly's forcing me to because she said I need to get hands on experience in horror to help her plan this party. Why being a vampire for 400 years isn't enough experience is a mystery."

"Liam! You probably spent all that time being boring and collecting weird 'vintage' things. You're not some horrific beast of the night that knows how to terrify people to an early grave!" Polly crosses her arms in offense.

"Yes, well, I wasn't any serial killer, but you do know vampires have to hunt for blood right? Back then we couldn't just buy some of the stuff from a hospital or hook up with somebody that has a blood kink," Liam rolls his eyes, "Plus, if we're doing this on the basis of me knowing true horror, why are you planning the party. The closest you've ever been to horrific is your terrible sloppiness."

"That's not true! I've learned all my skills from the PRANK MASTERZ!" Polly shouts, "I know  _ all  _ the best pranks, and pranks are only a step away from scares!"

"Mm hm," Vicky nods along with polly, "She's got a point."

"Polly is the queen of pranks," Amira admits, "And her being able to pop out of any wall at will is also quite an edge on the competition."

"I think we're all getting distracted," Brain jumps in, "We were talking about going to the haunted house downtown."

"Yeah," Valerie jumps in, "I'd like to know if anyone plans on going with me."

"I'm in!" Polly shouts.

"No you're not," Liam frowns, "You have to pick up the streamers  _ you _ insisted on buying and bring them to the party location."

"What?! Aww man!" Polly pouts, "I wanted to see ghosts!"

"You are a ghost Polly," Vera deadpans.

"I am?" Polly looks down at herself and then looks up grinning ear to ear, "I TOTALLY AM! THAT'S SO COOL!"

"Streamers polly," Liam reminds.

"Oh yeah! Those are at the uhh… place… right? The store place with the bright lights?" Polly looks to Liam for help.

"You have the address of the store on your phone," The vampire sighs dramatically.

Polly pulls out her phone, looks at it for a little while, and then books it away floating. Nobody tries to tell her the exit to the school is in the opposite direction. 

"Well, since Polly refuses to let me help until I've experienced 'true' horror," Liam frowns, "I guess I'll be going."

"I'll politely pass," Miranda frowns, "I have some things to take care of for a friend today. Royal duties and all that hullabaloo. Actually, I need to go complete those duties right now."

Miranda stands up and exits the bathroom before heading in the direction Polly ran.

"Hullabaloo?" Amira parrots, eyebrow raised.

"I am in for getting scared out of my skin!" Vicky vibrates in place, "This is going to be SO awesome!"

Amira's still eyeing where Miranda left suspiciously, but makes sure to RSVP anyways, "I'll come too I guess."

"Well, I'm sure I could find something to bide my time while some fools try to scare me," Vera shrugs, "I suppose I'll come."

"No need to play brave Vera," Amira immediately forgets about Miranda in favor of flirting, "I'll be beside you the whole night."

"I'm not rewarding you with a response," Vera takes her phone out and uses it to cover her blushing face.

"Aww, no need to play shy," Amira smirks, "I'll let you cling to me all night if you need to."

"I… want you... to shut...up," Vera's blush is only getting more aggressive as Amira continues.

"Well, I'm obviously coming since I suggested it," Valerie's ear twitches and her tail curls, "Are you free too Brian?"

"Huh?" Brain looks up from his phone to look at Valerie, "Oh, yeah. I'll be there. I was just texting Damien and Oz to see if they wanted in. Damien said no for the both of them because apparently, 'Oz and him aren't a pair of wusses that get scared by kiddy shit.'"

"Do you think they're finally dating yet?" Vicky asks the group.

"If they were dating we'd know it," Liam sighs, "Damien wouldn't let anybody  _ not _ know they were dating."

"Point taken," Vicky nods, then turns to Scott, "Are you coming with us Scott? You haven't said anything in a bit."

"U-Uh, I don't know," Scott involuntarily whimpers, "Will it be super scary? I don't really like super scary things…"

Vera's eyes soften in the way only Scott, and sometimes Amira, can provoke, "We'll be with you the whole time. Plus, I'm sure Vicky would be happy to walk with you the whole time if it is that bad."

"Of course! You don't have to worry about anything! If anybody gets too close to us I'll shock 'em and sock em'," Vicky lets electricity gather between her hands like a tazer to prove her point.

"If I get scared can I hug you?" Scott asks innocently.

Vicky flushes bright red and looks taken aback, "O-Of course! I-If you want to! I j-just d-don't know if- mph!"

"She's telling you yes Scott,"Amira covers Vicky's mouth with her hand.

"Yay! Thank you Vicky!" Scott's tail wags at the speed of light.

Amira leans close to Vicky as she takes her hand away and whispers, "You owe me one Vicky. I just saved you from embarrassing yourself."

Vicky nods despondent as she still tries to process Scott's request. Once Amira's sure Vicky isn't going to faint, she turns her attention back to the topic at hand.

"Can you send me the address Valerie?" Brian pulls his phone out, "Vicky and Amira won't get there on time if I don't act like an alarm clock."

"Aww, you know you're our favorite alarm clock though," Amira teases.

"I'm flattered," Brian deapans, "But seriously Val, I do need a time and place."

"Sure thing Zomboy," Valerie shows Brian here phone and he copies whatever's on it into his, "It's at this old hotel a city over. I heard it's run by some small company with a bunch of witches. They start letting groups in at about ten."

"I thought it was a haunted house?" Scott tilts his head to the side adorably.

"Haunted house is just a broad term for a place that is used to scare people," Liam explains to the confused werewild while rolling his eyes, "I myself much prefer the idea of going to a hotel rather than the stereotypical abandoned home. It's much more original."

"So we all meet there at around nine fifty," Vera suggests, "That way we can get inside first and be finished as quickly as possible."

"I'll be there an hour earlier if it means I get to spend more time with you," Amira winks at Vera.

"How are we going to get there?" Vicky breaks from her silence to turn to Brian questioningly, "I mean, if Damien answered for Oz that means they're busy right? We can't just ask Oz to take us there like we normally would."

"You can always ride with me Vicky!" Scott shouts, "And by that I mean you can ride with Vera, because she always brings me everywhere!"

"Scott, you can't just invite people to ride with me," Vera frowns, "Plus, I do not bring you everywhere. You've only rode with me twice."

"But it's just Vicky, Brian, and Amira! They're our friends! Why wouldn't you want them to ride with us?!" Scott gives Vera his biggest puppy eyes, "Don't you like them?"

"It's not about me liking them Scott, it's about you inviting people to ride with me without asking," Vera's eye twitches, "I also don't give away my services so frivolously."

"But you let me ride with you for free," Scott tilts his head to the side.

"No, you just don't think I got anything from you," Vera rolls her eyes before turning to the three monsters trying to get a free ride, "What are you offering?"

"One second, let me see what I've got," Vicky reaches into her backpack and starts rummaging around. She pulls out item after item, most that shouldn't be fitting in the small blue backpack, "Hmm… nothing special about a tuba… Why did I put this dumbbell in here? Oh, that's where my third glitter canon went! Paintball gun, empty wallet, hat I never liked, flash drive of all the cheerleaders deepest secrets, cheeseballs, facial mask-"

"Wait, what was that last one," Vera stops Vicky.

"Oh, the cheeseballs? I put them in there a couple months ago. I actually really need to throw them away," Vicky sure enough pulls out a tiny bag of cheeseballs and tosses them into the nearest trash can.

"No, I was talking about the one before that," Vera frowns, looking frustrated.

"Ooooh, you mean the flash drive?" Vicky pulls out a tiny blue flash drive with a cyan lightning bolt on it, "I wanted to make sure the cheerleaders wouldn't get in my way at the next pep rally so I combined every piece of information on them, good and bad, to let them know their places."

All the monsters present that weren't used to Vicky's drastic mood switches back up when her tone turns dark. Even Vera looks a little startled by the sudden change. Brian, Amira, and Scott on the other hand, take the outburst like an everyday occurance.

"I thought you put that on your computer," Brian watches as Vicky continues to shuffle through her bag.

"I did and it's still there. I just downloaded everything onto a couple of backup drives just in case," Vicky smiles, "Some of them are really desperate to not let their secrets get out. Especially the cheer a captain, did you know that she's been seducing people to-"

"I will let all four of you ride with me if I get that drive," Vera interrupts, staring at the drive with the gaze of a predator.

"Seriously?!" Vicky grins and holds the tiny piece of plastic out to the gorgan, "Awesome! This one's my back up, back up, back up, back up, USB drive, so tell me if you lose it so I can give you another."

Vera gently takes the drive and puts it in her bag, "Pleasure doing business with you. If you ever have something else like this in your possession, tell me and I'd be willing to set up another trade."

"Absolutely! Just make sure that the cheerleaders don't find out you have it," Vicky laughs, "They might have a mental breakdown and try to hurt themselves."

"Yes, yes, I understand," Vera waves off Vicky's concerns, "So, with your payment sorted out, how about you all tell me where you live."

"Give me your notepad Vick," Amira gestures to the pen and pad in her friend's pocket.

Without asking questions, Vicky hands Amira what she asked for. Amira instantly leans over the bathroom counter and starts writing. She then hands the paper to Vera with a very lecherous smile.

"Here's my place," Amira smirks, "Feel free to drop by whenever you want."

"Wait! Brian and I need to give her our address too," Vicky snatches the notepad back from Amira and writes something before tearing the page off.

"I do not feel comfortable giving you my address," Brian immediately says once Vicky's handed over her paper and offers Brian the notepad and pen.

"Why not?" Vicky pouts.

"Vera's literally tricked an entire class into joining a fake cult before by leaving death threats at their homes," Liam jumps in, "I don't even trust her with my address and she's had it for five months."

"Well, how else are you going to get to the haunted house?" Amira frowns.

"You can come with me," Liam shrugs, gaze averted from Brian and nose in his phone despite the slight dusting of pink on the tips of his pointed ears.

"Really?" Brian looks kinda surprised, "You don't have to. I could just go to Amira's place and get picked up from there."

"No, I think Liam's right. My car would be crowded with six people," Vera sends the vampire hiding in his phone a mocking look.

"Five?" Amira asks, "I think you might have miscounted there Vera. We've got Vicky, Scott, Brian, you and then me. That's five."

"No, I'm driving. That makes six," Valerie pipes up, "There is no way I'm letting my sister drive her fancy sports car out to a haunted house where it's almost guaranteed to get egged."

Amira's eyes get comically large, "You're-"

Vicky puts her hand over Amira's mouth, "I just saved you from saying something that'll embarrass yourself. We're even now."

"Well, I guess if it's more convenient and you don't mind, I'll just go with you Liam," Brian shrugs and picks the notepad Vicky dropped moments earlier off the floor. He copies the two girls from earlier and writes his name down, "Here's where I live. I can assume you're going to show up around nine thirty?"

"Sure, whatever," Liam still doesn't look up from his phone as he takes the paper from Brian, "You should have just texted it to me. Who writes things down."

"Okay, then it's settled," Vicky claps her hands together, "Scott, Amira and I will go with Vera and Valerie, Brian will go with Liam, and then we'll all meet up tonight."

Vicky grabs both Amira and Scott's arms and starts tugging them out of the co-ed bathrooms. Amira seems stuck between shock and confusion. Scott is just happy Vicky's touching him.

As the three leave Amira turns to Vicky and whispers loudly, "Vera and Valerie are sisters?!"

"Yes Amira, it was obvious," Vicky continues tugging the two monsters away from a very amused cat-person, "They share the same last name and literally come to school together every morning."

"That's why her name was familiar!" Is all that's heard as the bathroom door shuts behind them.

With those three gone, it doesn't take long for the other monsters present to disperse. The rest of the school day goes by without anything special happening. Well, special by Spooky High standards. The time flies and soon enough most of the monsters that agreed to go through a haunted house together first in a crowded line, ready to see if anything in this building will be able to scare them more than the things they've already witnessed. While they wait for the sun to completely disappear from the sky and the attraction to open, Vicky and Amira argue.

"I'm just saying, creepy dolls are way worse clowns," Amira frowns.

"Are you kidding me! A doll is just a doll!" Vicky argues, "They're literally the size of your forearm, max. Clowns are full sized, and can hold chainsaws! How are they not scarier than dolls!?"

"You're just making my point Vicky. You can see a clown coming and can defend yourself, a doll hides and strikes when you're at your weakest!" Amira protests.

"You're completely wrong! As long as your arms work you can defend yourself from some stupid barbie doll with a kitchen knife," Vicky crosses her arms, "If a clown comes at you with chainsaw, how are you going to stop him dismembering you?! Tell her Scott!"

"Yeah! Vicky's right!" Scott looks up from whatever he's talking about with Valerie to agree with Vicky.

"Scott doesn't count. He'll agree with anything you say no matter what!" Amira scowls.

"Then I'll just ask him without telling who thinks what," At this point most of the monsters around have taken notice of the argument and are trying to ignore the shouting, "Scott, what's scarier? A creepy doll or a killer crown?"

"I think clowns are lots of fun and really funny and my grandma owns lots of really neat glass dolls," Scott tilts his head as if in thought, "I don't think either are scary."

"Forget this," Amira rolls her eyes and turns to a familiar gorgan, "Hey Vera, please tell Vicky which is worse. Murderous dolls or killer clowns?"

Vera frowns, "They're both stupid. That's my answer."

"Vera!" Amira whines, "You have to choose one over the other!"

"Ugh, fine. I'll choose," Vera rolls her eyes, "Clowns, they're bigger and more threatening."

"HA! I told you!" Vicky shouts.

"Vera, how could you betray me," Amira dramatically grabs her heart, "I thought we had something special! How wrong I was!"

Vera scowls and Amira's antics, "You are so immature."

Amira straightens up and smiles, "You love me for it hotstuff."

"Hey! You're supposed to be letting gloat! Stop ruining my fun by flirting!" Vicky shouts.

Amira sighs, "Fine, but you only get to brag until Brian and Liam get here."

"Yes! I was right and you were wrong! I was right and you were wrong!" Vicky sticks her tongue out at Amira, "I was right and-"

"When  _ are _ Liam and Brian going to get here?" Valerie interrupts, "Is them being late a character trait of theirs?"

"For Liam is it," Vera chuckles, "Brian just goes along with whatever he does."

"Oz said it was the other way around," Valerie tilts her head to the side, "He said something about Liam always doing whatever Brian does."

Vicky gets distracted from her gloating by the gossip about her friend's relationships, "Oz is right. It's a lot more like a two way street. They both have crushes on each other so they just listen to whatever the other wants. Liam's crush is just a lot more plain to see than Brian's."

"You aren't kidding about that. Brian sometimes looks like he doesn't have any emotions at all," Amira laughs, "Then there are the times he goes from being brain dead to full intensity in a snap. It's hella confusing."

"What is it with mutual crushes at this school," Valerie huffs, "They're everywhere."

"What's everywhere?" Liam and Brian make they're way to the front of the line and jump in with they're friends.

Some monsters look annoyed by the cutting, but others that are from Spooky High quickly stop anybody from protesting. Nobody wants to be turned to stone or electrocuted to death.

"We were just talking about how there are a bunch of scared kids everywhere," Amira lies while pointing at a group of sixteen year olds looking around nervously behind them, "We were also arguing about what's scarier, dolls or clowns. Would you mind settling the debate?"

"Dolls are worse," Brian answers easily.

"Clowns are annoying and painful on the eyes," Liam nods in Brian's direction approvingly, "I agree with dolls being better."

"It's three to two now Vicky!" Amira shouts, "Who's the right one now!"

"Nope, this argument is already over. We already got our answer a few minutes ago. There's no backsies!" Vicky crosses her arms and refuses to say Amira's right, "Plus, even if it was up for debate, someone here hasn't voted yet."

Amira and Vicky both turn to Valerie at the same time. Valerie only sighs and looks for a way out of starting another argument between the two headstrong girls. Her exit comes as the clock hits ten and the owners of the haunted attraction shout for their attention.

"Hey!" The girl at the entrance has a Boston accent, "It's time for you to go in and stop yelling in my ear. Are you going to stand there all night or come get some tickets and go in?!"

Valerie offers the two monsters vying for her attention a fake apologetic smile, "Sorry, I can't answer your question right now. It's time to go in."

"Yes it is," The same girl from moments earlier growls.

Quickly, the excited group of monsters gathers around the ticket givers to get in. The group looks at the rather grumpy employee and waits for her to let them in. At first glance the girl handing out tickets looks like nothing special. She has normal brown hair and tan skin, but up close, everyone present can see the dozens of eyes littering her face.

"Before you go in, I'm supposed to tell you how the hotel works," The girl with lots of eyes starts, "We use specialty dimension magic to interconnect all the doors inside the hotel. This means that once you pass the lobby, no room will connect to the same again. You get to explore the house for an hour before all the doors will connect to the exit and you'll have to leave, and of course be prepared to get scared."

"Wow! Magic sure is convenient isn't it!" Vicky smiles, "This sounds awesome!"

"So this is why you've got so many good ratings huh?" Valerie's tail flicks and she purrs, "This is going to be much more exciting than I thought."

"Sounds like a waste of some good spellcasters if you ask me," Vera rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," The girl with tickets rolls all her eyes at once, "If you're about to puke or cry we'll get you out or something. Have a great time or whatever. Now grab a ticket or let the next people go. The longer you aren't in the building, the less people that get in tonight, the less people that go in tonight the lower my pay, the lower my pay the more likely I'm going to start a fight." 

"Jeez, we're going, we're going. Don't get your panties all up in a twist," Amira grabs a ticket from the girl first and makes her way up to the old rotating hotel doors.

"I agree, don't be rude. You'll regret it," Vera plucks a ticket from the girl handing them out as she rolls her eyes. She follows after Amira, who's waiting for her in the old hotel lobby.

"Sorry about them," Valerie walks by, "They're just a little too confrontational for their own good."

"Come on Scott. We can't let those three have all the fun first," Vicky tugs the werewolf forward despite his apprehensive expression by his hand.

"Y-You promise you w-won't l-let go of my hand w-while we're inside?" Scott whimpers.

Vicky blushes and lets out a nervous laugh, "Y-Yeah! I promise I won't let go of your hand the whole time!"

Scott's tail wags just a little despite how nervous and unsure of himself he actually is. Vicky quickly leads him through the rotating door and into the building full of scares.

Brian steps up next and grabs a ticket with a completely neutral expression, "Thanks."

Liam follows suit but doesn't say anything to the girl. The zombie and Vampire both head into the old decrepit building together. As they make their way through the old and creaking doors, Liam looks around the lobby to find that all their friends have already left and started exploring. Liam takes a moment to scan the room.

It was the picture perfect version of an old 'abandoned' hotel. A front desk, seating area, old gold and red color scheme and doors leading down two seperate hallways. The signs of age were also present. Having peeling wallpaper, stained carpets, and enough cobwebs to make a spider silk dress. All the furniture and items around the room are also covered in a thick layer of dust. 

"They actually did a good job decorating," Liam expresses his thoughts aloud, "I'm surprised they didn't just throw down a bunch of plastic skeletons and fake blood."

"They probably didn't even decorate and left the lobby as is. I mean, how could you decorate a place with dust?" Brian shrugs and starts walking towards the nearest door.

"W-Well yes. I suppose that could be the reason everything looks so real," Liam hurries after Brian, who's already about to head down the first hallway. Liam also feels more than a little stupid for assuming that the abandoned building had been decorated to look abandoned. Liam might have well of just said someone decorated a forest with leaves!

Liam does exactly as he did in the lobby, and starts scrutinizing the looks of the hall. Same decaying floor and floor. The only real big differences from the earlier room is the numbered doors along both sides of the halls and the sets of portraits hung on the wall depicting a bunch of old men. Most would think the paintings were old along with the hall, but being an art connoisseur, Liam can tell that the paintings couldn't have been painted any longer than a year ago. Liam is about to speak this information out loud when-

"These paintings aren't actually old," Brian takes one glance at Liam and shrugs, "They must've brought them in specifically for scaring people."

Brian beats him to it. Liam is stuck between being disappointed in himself for not saying it sooner and pride that Brian was able to come to the same conclusion as him twice as fast. Liam forgets it often, but Brian is just as much of an art fan as Liam. 

"I agree," Liam nods, "Although I don't understand why they'd think old people are- EEK."

One of the paintings closest to Liam falls off the walls and bangs on the ground before fake blood oozes out of the wall behind it. Once figuring out what happened, Liam composes himself almost immediately, already feeling the embarrassed blush on his cheeks from being so easily frightened.

"T-That was very sudden," Liam runs a hand through his hair before crossing his arms and speaking cooly, "It startled me."

"I could tell," Brian nods, keeping his face schooled despite wanting to smile in amusement, "It surprised me too."

Liam has half the nerve to glare at the zombie. Brian didn't seem very surprised at all. He didn't even flinch for goodness sake! Liam can't help but feel even more idotic. He knows Brian doesn't really care about what anybody does or acts, but that's just the problem. If nothing can disappoint Brian, then what can impress him?! Liam's used to being able to impress anyone. 

Sensing Liam's internal debate, Brian assumes he's embarrassed for jumping and changes the topic as he continues walking, "That blood wasn't real y'know. I bet it was made of ketchup or something like it is in the movies."

"Actually…" Liam's eyes light up in a way they only can when he's about to explain something, "The fake blood in films is usually made from corn syrup, non-dairy creamer, food coloring, although some directors who actually know what they're doing use methylparaben to make it look more real. It's a testament to how shoddy this place is that you would assume that fake blood is ketchup. Honestly, whoever they have in their props department should get a new job. If you're not going to commit yourself to the act then you shouldn't be in the act at all."

Brian allows himself to snort under his breath and smile at how easily Liam's train of thought was derailed. If there's anything the vampire beside him lives to do most it's criticizing people's works of passion.

Down the other path in the lobby that Liam and Brian didn't take, Valerie, Amira, and Vera are slowly making their way up a set of stairs. The lighting in the building is dim and almost nonexistent in places without windows. 

"Why is it we go to a haunted house and then we choose to walk up stairs?" Valerie asks as they go up yet another floor.

"Because we went through the door that led to a staircase," Amira answers.

"You mean because you and Vera decided to drag me down this hall," Valerie corrects, "Why couldn't we have just gone the other way? Actually, even better question, why are we still climbing when we haven't passed a single door and we can't see the end?"

"Because if it takes this long to climb a staircase then something awesome must be at the end!" Amira smiles.

"I'm following her because out of all us she's most likely to make a fool out of herself," Then Vera adds something else more as an afterthought, "And also because I'm convinced she's going to trip and almost break her neck falling down these stairs."

"Aw! You care about me!" Amira stops climbing just to turn around and smile at Vera.

"Nevermind, I'm fine with her falling," Vera deadpans.

"Ok, well, the idea of falling and breaking my neck is not an option I was considering, but now that it is, I'm going back down," True to her words, Valerie turns around to start walking.

"Wait! I think there's a door one more level up just let me check real quick," Without letting the others respond, Amira rushes up the stairs.

"Man, I get what you see in her Vera, but she really is a ditz sometimes ain't she," Valerie laughs as the footsteps get farther away.

"I- what- I do not-" Vera is blushing at her sister's blatant remark.

"Oh shit, you haven't realized you're head over heels yet, sorry my bad," Valerie puts her hands up and shakes them, "Just ignore everything I just said."

"Gladly!" Vera hisses, blushing.

"Hey guys I was right!" Amira shouts from above, "There is a door!"

"Welp, better make sure she doesn't die before you wise up," Valerie passes by Vera and quickly rushes up the stairs.

"I- Wait for me," Vera rushes after her sister as quickly as possible.

Once the two sisters have made their way up yet another level, they find Amira standing in front of an old wooden door. 

"Look at this," Amira seems thrilled, "What do you bet there's some actor right behind this door ready to jump out at us?"

"Pretty high considering we're in a haunted house," Vera rolls her eyes.

"Don't be such a buzzkill Vera," Amira frowns, "Relax and have some fun! It's no fun if you don't let yourself get scared."

"There's nothing to be scared of yet," Vera crosses her arms, "And there won't be if we stay here for the entire hour we're allowed in here."

Without waiting for Amira or Valerie to respond, Vera walks up to the door and opens it. A man dressed up as a scary jumps out of the door and causes both Valerie and Amira to jump. Vera stares the clown down with no expression.

"What? Was that it?" Vera frowns, "You expected to scare us by popping up in a random doorway. What's even with the clown getup? Honestly, you're not even covered in blood. Is this the job you got when your mother finally kicked you out of her basement?"

The clown is so taken back by Vera's verbal assault that they forget they're supposed to be acting scary. Valerie and Amira have recovered from their shock at this point and are staring at Vera in equal parts exasperation and annoyance.

"I mean seriously, what would make somebody stoop down to getting a job like this. I bet it was a degree in acting wasn't it? All of you drama people try for the red carpet and then fall short and become a cashier," Vera scoffs, "Well either that or they end up in porn, but you obviously couldn't make it in that industry if your looks are taken into account. Either way, I'd like you to get your pathetic self out of my way so we can get to the  _ real _ scary stuff."

The clown actor starts weeping and flees down the opposite direction of the girls. His howls of sadness are heard disappearing into the distance along with the sound of a slamming door.

"Oh shit…" Amira murmurs under breath as Valerie looks like she wants to bang her head against a wall at her sister's antics.

"Well, how about we continue through this little freak show," Vera glances at her friends before swiftly stepping through the door.

"Damn, I thought going through a haunted house together would end up being romantic," Amira watches Vera walk away, "Y'know, like in the movies…"

"Don't worry, you'll wear her down eventually," Valerie pats Amira on the back as she follows her sister. Amira sighs, and then mopes after her friend and crush.

In a different part of the old hotel, Vicky and Scott investigate room after room together. Scott mostly hides behind Vicky every time they open a door. They haven't met any actors yet and Vicky is actually pretty relieved by that.

"Look Scott! This room has blood coming from it," Vicky gestures toward the hotel room marked with either 217 or 237. She couldn't tell because the font of the middle number was scratched up and messy.

"B-Blood? Do we h-have to go in that one?" Scott whimpers as he tightens his hold on Vicky's hand.

"Not if you don't want to," Vicky shrugs, "This room gives me a bad vibe anyways. We can just go a few more down and pick another alright?"

Scott looks grateful, "Thank you Vicky… This is really scary…"

"You don't need to be scared Scott! Everybody in the building is just a bunch of actors," Vicky tries to reassure her favorite werewolf, "And I already told you, if somebody messes with us for real, I'll taze them."

"I-I know. Y-You're the best Vicky," Scott gushes, "You always make me feel safer when I'm scared."

Vicky covers her blush with her hand, "You don't need to be so nice Scott. I just don't like seeing you uncomfortable. You're really nice and I'd hate anything bad to happen to you."

Despite the setting, Scott's tail starts to wag, "You really are the best Vicky! I'd never let anything bad happen to you either."

Vicky and Scott are both looking at each other fondly. The moment isn't ruined by the dark lighting or gross fake blood decorating the walls, but it is ruined by the large spider falling from the ceiling and landing right into Vicky's hair.

"AHHHH! Eww!" Vicky let's go of Scott's hand to frantically try and get the arachnid out. After a few moments of frantically rubbing her hands through her hair, Vicky looks up at Scott urgently, "Is it still in my hair? Is it still there?!"

Vicky's panic is infectious because Scott immediately starts to freak out with her, "I don't think so?! Are you okay?! Vicky, how do I help?!"

The spider in question, pops out Vicky's wild hairdos just to wave before diving back in. Vicky calms down a lot when she realizes that the spider is actually just a monster and not an actual monster. It's kind of backwards logic, but backwards logic is pretty much a staple of her life at this point.

"Oh thank god it's not an actual spider Scott," Vicky calms down enough to carefully pick the spider monster thing out of her hair. The tiny spider actor only stays in Vicky's hand long enough to stick it's tongue out before jetting away on a tiny string of cobwebs.

Scott looks ashamed, "I'm sorry I didn't help you Vicky."

Vicky only chuckles in the direction the spider left before turning to Scott, "It's fine. How were you supposed to help? Stick your hands in my hair and try to grab it? Knowing my luck we would've lost the spider and got your hands tangled in my hair. It would've been terrible."

Scott's mood lightens up at Vicky's forgiveness, despite the monster in blue thinking there's nothing to be forgiven in the first place. Without thinking about it, Vicky grabs Scott's hand and starts to tug him down the hall.

"Come on, we've only got like thirty minutes left at this point," Vicky smiles, "I want to at least get to meet one of the actors before we get kicked out."

Scott shares Vicky's enthusiasm despite his fear already starting to kick in again, "YEAH! A-As long as you stay next to me the whole time…"

"Of course I will!" Vicky giggles, "You just make sure that you stay with me as well!"

Both Vicky and Scott rush off together to investigate the next room together hand in hand the whole time. Both feeling extremely safe as long at their hands are interconnected.

This is how most of their haunted house trip goes. Liam gets startled by a jumpscare and Brian distracts him by asking a question he knows will get the vampire talking. Then Liam gets scared again because he was too busy talking to pay attention to his surroundings. It starts a cycle that Brian isn't all that against. Especially since Liam grabs his arms a couple of times in the heat of the moment.

Amira gets the exact opposite amount of action. Vera insists on entering every room first so she gets to meet each actor before the other two girls. With this way of traveling established, Vera gets an extra forty seconds to absolutely destroy the poor actors each meets. She sends three running, four crying, and five doing both. Each time, Amira and Valerie's hope of getting scared decreases.

Vicky and Scott on the other hand are having a wonderful time getting terrified over and over again. They finally start into the rooms with actors and have a great time running around the different hotel rooms screaming and laughing while escaping their chasers. It was during one of these daring escapes from a skeleton terribly dressed as a killer maid that the next event of note came about.

Vicky and Scott rush down an empty hall screaming while still holding hands. As the killer maid skeleton gets closer to the two monsters, Vicky tugs Scott into a random room door.

"In here Scott," Vicky opens a room door and tugs the werewolf in, "They can't follow us in here if we close the door. They'll get rerouted to another room in a different part of the building!"

"That's so smart!" Scott's fear has been completely overwritten by Vicky's endless enthusiasm.

Once both monsters are completely in the room, Vicky slams the door shut and the sound of following footsteps disappears. Vicky squeals in delight at her plan working and turns to Scott.

"That was the fifth actor we've come across!" Vicky smiles, "We must have really hit a lucky streak! I bet we've already seen more people than Amira! I'm gonna rub it in her face when we get out!"

"This is so much fun!" Scott ignores Vicky's competitive comments in favor of grinning, "It's not scary at all when I'm with you!"

"Keep saying sappy stuff like that and I'll think you're a tree," Vicky giggles. Scott doesn't understand the joke but laughs too.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Both monsters jump in surprise when the door across the room they're standing shakes from getting hit over and over again. Once she realizes it's just the door, Vicky relaxes.

"It's just the door Scott, don't worry," Vicky soothes the nervous werewolf, "It's probably just some actor banging on the door to scare us."

"B-But how did they know we're in here?" Scott asks nervously.

Vicky freezes. How  _ do  _ they know that Scott and Vicky are in here? The rooms are randomly connected, they're aren't any video cameras, and neither of the monsters were speaking loud enough to be heard through walls. The only reason Vicky's Halloween filled brain could come up with is that whoever was on the other side of that door was not a part of the fun. Scott probably didn't come to the same conclusion, but because he leeches off Vicky's emotions all the time he can instantly see her get nervous.

"Vicky? W-What's wrong?" Scott scoots closer to the Frankenstein's monster.

"Hopefully nothing," Vicky frowns, "But stay behind me."

"O-Okay," Scott gets behind the small girl and trembles in fear.

Vicky slowly inches across the room with Scott at her back. The banging doesn't stop and when Vicky gets close enough to the door she can hear a muffled angry horse on the other side. The voice only makes Vicky more nervous and she finds herself unintentionally creating a charge between her hands. However, instead of dispersing the electricity, Vicky keeps the charge prepared just in case.

"Whatever's behind this door, we can handle it okay?" Vicky doesn't know if she's asking Scott or herself. In response, the werewolf behind doesn't say anything, but Vicky can tell he's nodding.

Slowly, Vicky reaches towards the rubber handle. While the banging continues, Vicky grabs a hold of the door and tries to open it, only to find that it's locked from their side, keeping whatever was on the other side out. Now most people would walk away at this point feeling safe in the idea that the lock will hold. Vicky on the other hand is not one to be dissuaded from a goal and unlocks the door. Just as Vicky's just about to try opening it again to see what's on the other side, when the banging stops, and so, Vicky stops.

"D-Did they leave?" Scott asks quietly.

Before Vicky can respond, there's the sound of footsteps on the other side of the wall as if something's about to ram its way through the-

The door swings open as someone rams through it and flies towards Vicky. Working with pure survival instincts, Vicky shrieks and then discharges her saved up electricity from earlier directly into her attacker's skin. The person that busted through the door falls to the ground in a pile with a painful groan and curse.

Vicky stares down at her attacker for a solid thirty seconds before realizing that she didn't have an attacker in the first place. That being because the person she just attacked is her best friend.

"AMIRA?!" Vicky stares down at the curled up form of a fire Djinn.

Vera and Valerie are through the door in a moment's notice looking very alarmed. They both look ready to throw hands, but when they spot Vicky and Scott their aggression fades to confusion.

"What just happened?" Valerie asks first.

Vicky drops to her knees, and leans over Amira while answering, "I shocked her on accident. Well, I meant to do it but I didn't know it was her, and oh my gosh! Are you alright Amira?!"

"Ow," Is all Amira gets out.

Valerie and Vera glance between a guilty looking Vicky and their friend on the ground before having two drastically different reactions. Valerie starts laughing her ass off, even going far enough to double over while Vera looks much more concerned.

"How many volts did you hit her with?" Vera asks, kneeling down to look at Amira.

"I don't know! Probably about as much as a police taser?!" Vicky answers.

"That is… not good," Vera puts a hand under Amira's head and lifts her up to eye to eye with her, "Amira, do you know where you are at right now?"

"Heaven," Amira answers.

"You are not dead Amira," Vera frowns, "We're all alive and in a haunted house. Vicky did just send 50,000 volts of electricity into your body though so you might feel a little dizzy."

"If I'm not in heaven then why am I seeing an angel?" Amira smirks despite her eyes being glazed over.

Instantly, Vera blushes and drops Amira's head at the same time. She stands up quickly and crosses her arms, "She'll be fine."

"Hey!" Amira rubs the back of her head that got dropped on the wooden floor, "You could have at least not dropped me!"

"Don't make us think you're hurt and maybe I'll think about it next time," Vera hisses, her snakes getting aggressive.

"I was hurt! Vicky shocked the living hell out of me!" Amira sits up and rubs the forearm Vicky shocked carefully, "I've just gotten used to the warning shocks she uses when she's surprised."

"You've gotten used to being police level tased," Valerie's still laughing.

"Well obviously I haven't gotten used to them! Otherwise I wouldn't have collapsed to the ground," As Amira talks she stands up and dusts her dress off, "I've just got the recovery down."

Vicky stands up after Amira and hugs her, "Thank goodness you're alright! I would have hated myself if I accidentally electrocuted you to death. Of course, I would have brought you back to life in the next lightning storm, but still!"

"Heh, it's alright Vicky," Amira shakes her head, "It was more my fault for trying to ram a locked door open. Most of the time those are locked for a good reason."

"Actually-" Vicky lets go of Amira to take a step back, "Why did you try to ram the door down in the first place?! You scared me and Scott!"

"We got stuck in a one door room," Amira offers as explanation.

"This door was the only way out," Vera nods.

"And Amira refused to let me pick the lock because she thought she could get it open by herself," Valerie snorts.

"Hey, I did get the door open myself!" Amira smirks.

"Actually…" Vicky laughs awkwardly.

"Vicky unlocked the door so you didn't need to hit the door that hard!" Scott finishes, happy to contribute to the conversation.

"...so I didn't get the door open by myself…" Amira looks defeated.

"Oh that's just priceless," Valerie snorts, "You got electrocuted for no reason!"

"Can we all just go explore the rest of the hotel together and let go of this?!" Amira scowls, "Our time is probably about up by now anyways, right?"

"Oh man! You're right!" Vicky pouts, "Scott and I probably spent our last five minutes worried about you… darn it."

"You were just saying how glad you were I was alright," Amira frowns, "You sure switched tunes quickly."

Ignoring Amira, Vera builds off of what Vicky just said, "Thank god we're getting out of here. I've seen enough minimum wage actors to give me migraine. I just want to get home and do something productive at this point."

Valerie rolls her eyes and starts towards the door on the opposite side of the room, "If you're so keen on leaving, stop talking and start walking."

"This is why I love you Val," Vera follows her sister, "You never make me wait."

Amira rushes after Vera, "Is that all it takes to earn your love?!"

Vicky pouts, "Man, I wanted to get through at least another five rooms before we had to go…"

"I would have liked to spend more time with you too," Scott says sadly before brightening, "But I also had lots of fun already so I think it's alright!"

"You're right Scott!" Vicky nods, "Even if we didn't get to use all our time to its fullest, we still had a great time!"

Hand in hand yet again, Vicky and Scott happily make their way to the door to find that their time is indeed up and it's leading outside to the exit. However, what the two were not expecting was to see Vera, Amira, and Valarie laughing at a blood red Liam and Brian. No, they weren't blushing. They were both literally covered in a red substance similar to blood.

Vicky rushes up to her group of friends with Scott right behind her, "What happened?!"

"Broken valve in the hotel's kitchen," Brian deadpans, "A hose was supposed to spray fake blood at the ceiling, it sprayed fake blood everywhere."

While Amira and Valarie are laughing their asses off, Liam seems less than amused. Brian is just normal Brian, never really carfree unless things were very important.

"I can't believe that they let up get covered in this awful gunk," Liam starts his complaining, "They should have checked all the systems before they let-"

As Liam complains, Vicky turns to Amira, "I'm glad I don't have to ride home with him."

"Don't be so sure of yourself. There's no way he won't still be complaining at school tomorrow."

**_\--6 days until Halloween--_ **

Lunch started normally. Some people ate, some chatted, and some simply sat by themselves and people watched. Oz personally fell under the category of number two. Vicky, Brian, Liam, Amira, Kale, and him were all talking about the upcoming party that was getting thrown. Actually, it was more of Vicky and Amira being focused on the fact that Liam was one of the party's planners, and trying to glean any and all information about the subject from him. Brian, Kale, and Oz were just amused bystanders.

"Where's it at?" Vicky asks.

"Is Polly bringing alcohol?" Amira doesn't give Liam a chance to answer Vicky's question.

"The decorations are gonna be cool right?" Vicky starts right after Amira finishes, "Are they gonna be store bought or homemade? Homemade ones are the best!"

"What are we looking at with the music? Polly's gonna DJ right? No offense to you Liam, but she's kinda the dance music specialist?" Amira looks kinda perturbed at the idea of Liam being a DJ.

"Is there gonna be a costume contest?" Vicky says excitedly.

Amira laughs, "If there's a costume party I can promise the night will end in a fight."

"Hmph, yeah. You're right," Vicky huffs, "I rather the party not end with everyone punching each in an alcohol induced rage."

"That's if there is alcohol," Amira frowns and turns to Liam, "We don't know if there is or isn't yet because Liam hasn't answered our questions yet."

Liam looks so frazzled by the two girls that Oz doubts he even heard what the questions were. Oz shakes his head, it takes weeks to learn how to understand Vicky and Amira when they get into a back and forth. Both their spitfire personalities really show in their speech when they're together.

"I didn't even understand a single one of your questions," Liam finally recovers enough to speak, "How do you honestly expect me to answer them?!"

"You didn't understand us?!" Vicky pouts, "Does that mean we have to ask you all those questions over again?"

"Please don't," Liam scowls.

"Come on! Everyone's heard about how Polly dragged you into helping her," Amira butts in, "All we ask is for a couple of answers to a few questions! We're your friends aren't we?"

"No. You're tolerable individuals that somehow always manage to annoy me," Liam replies without hesitation.

"Ah! So mean!" Vicky pouts again, "Why do Amira and I get such a cold shoulder when Brian gets treated so nicely?"

Liam's ears turn pink, "Because Brian isn't nearly as insistant and or as petulant as you two!"

"I'm not petulant!" Vicky gasps before sticking her tongue out at the vampire.

"Yeah! What Vicky said! Screw you!" Amira sticks her tongue out too.

Liam looks like he's about to blow a fuse when Brian leans over from beside him and frowns, "If you want them to stop you just have to give them what they want. They're being extra annoying on purpose just to wear you down."

Liam glances at Brian before glaring back and Vicky and Amira, "Fine. I can't tell you everything since Polly wants to keep it some idiotic surprise, but I'll answer  _ some  _ of your questions."

"Yay!" Vicky retracts her tongue and starts with the questions all over again, "Are the decorations for the party going to be handmade? Is Polly planning a costume contest? Where are you having it?"

"Is there gonna be beer? Who's DJing? There isn't going to actually be a costume contest right?"

"One question at a time, or at least slow down," Oz interjects when both girls just start blurting out question after question with no stop between, "Liam can't answer you if you don't give him time."

"Hmph… fine," Vicky crosses her arms before starting off the same as the last two times, "What I wanted to know was-"

"Maybe it'll be better if Oz and I just ask your questions for you," Brian interrupts, "As being both your friends for a long time, I've realized you both have a hard time slowing down, even if you want to."

Vicky grumbles something about being interrupted, but Amira just laughs with a smile, "Yeah, it'll probably be easier that way anyways."

Liam just seems relieved that he won't have to hear the girls blurt out a ton of nonsense again without being able to understand a word.

"Vicky wanted to know where the party was going to be at," Brain interpretes a bit from the ramblings earlier, "She also wanted to know if the decorations were handmade and if you're having a costume contest."

"I can't say where. Polly wants to keep the location a secret for some silly reason," Liam sighs under the insistent gaze of both girls, "As for the decorations, I'm buying them, but they are handmade. And there is no way I'm letting Polly have a costume contest. We all know how that would end."

"Told you so," Amira nods at Vicky smugly.

"Shut up," Vicky says playfully with a good-humored smile..

"Amira wants to know if there's going to be drinks," Oz says next, "She wants to know who's DJing, and you already answered her other question.

"Polly's hosting this party," Liam deapans, "Did you honestly think there wouldn't be alcohol."

"In hindsight it's obvious," Amira shrugs.

"Well then, it must also be obvious in hindsight that Polly wouldn't let anybody else other than her DJ her own party."

Amira looks a little embarrassed at this point, "Yeah, I should've known that."

"Changing the subject," Kale jumps in, "Do you think the school actually puts pumpkins in the casserole? I mean, it's orange, but it looks like a regular casserole with food dye."

Properly distracted, everyone at the table turns their attention to the orange square of food on Vicky, Amira, and Brian's trays. It didn't look horrible, but it also didn't look very good. 

"They have to put pumpkin in the pumpkin casserole," Vicky frowns, "Or else they'd be lying, and that could be the cause of like… three different lawsuits."

"Vicky, we all found out that the fishsticks have snails in them and you think the school past not putting pumpkin in a pumpkin based dish," Amira shakes her head.

"Normally I'd agree with Amira," Brian says, "But the new principal has actually been enforcing rules. I mean, the school's still pretty much a free for all, but the teachers have stopped skipping class to smoke in the lounge. Maybe he cracked down on the kitchen staff too."

"Maybe," Liam agrees, "But it's not like we're going to figure out either way."

"Yes we will," Vicky protests, "We have to find out now. This is a mystery that has to be solved."

"How do you plan to find out?" Kale asks.

"Easy, we bust into the kitchen and look for pumpkins!" Vicky stands up from the table and pumps fist in the air, "They said that the pumpkin in the casserole is fresh on the menu, so if they didn't lie, there has to be real pumpkins in the back right?"

"So you plan to break into the kitchen, probably fight the staff, all to see if they have pumpkins?" Liam frowns, "Pass. I'll just sit here and watch."

Brian doesn't look upset by Liam's uninvolvement, but does feel the need to tell him something, "Weren't you and Vera arguing about the improper farming of manticore meat a few days ago? Wouldn't it be easy to just go in the back and see where they got the steak from so you can prove your point to her later?"

Liam looks invested now. He lowers his phone thoughtfully, before his eyes get an intrigued spark in them. Amira and Vicky give Brian a look, even though he's not paying attention to the two.

"I… could see where they bought the meat and trace it back to the company that sells it. Then, I could write the blog post of the century and expose the company for all of their wrongdoings!" Liam has never been seen acting so enthused before.

The earlier confident Amira and Vicky are even taken back by the change in demeanor. Liam realizes this and quickly schools his expression before backtracking.

"Ahem, I mean, if you plan on going back there and causing a scene, I don't see why I couldn't follow," Liam tries to act cool.

"Then it's settled," Vicky grabs Amira's arm and yanks her to her feet, "Let's go storm the kitchen! CHARGE!"

Vicky drags Amira towards the lunch line while Kale, Liam, Brian, and Oz follow behind slowly. Those two will probably make it into the back by themselves. They most likely don't even need their help.

"Hey! Ozzie!" Oz stops making his way towards the kitchen as Damien approaches him from the entrance.

Oz gestures for Liam, Brian, and Kale to continue towards the kitchen without him before greeting Damien, "Hey Dames. Did you burn down the room for detention again?"

"HELL YEAH I DID!" Damien shouts, "What are you doing?"

"Oh, Vicky and Amira decided to raid the kitchen for pumpkins to see if there's actually any in the casseroles," Oz explains, "Brian, Liam, Kale, and I got dragged into their scheme."

"Raiding the kitchen?" Damien as a spark in his eyes, "Do you think-"

Oz cuts Damien off, "As long as you don't destroy any pumpkins, I'm sure they won't mind you wrecking the kitchen."

"Rad! That one bitch with the hair net always gives me a look when I take all the hot sauce. This'll be perfect revenge," Damien snarled menacingly. Then, with a conplete change of deameanor, he playfully cuffs Ozzie on the back of the head, "Also, you know me to well for your own fucking good. Come one, I can't let Sparks and Hothair cause too much chaos without me!"

Oz lets Damien grab his hand and quickly drag him into the kitchen area. Just as Oz expected, Amira and Vicky have already made their way in. Flour and sugar is scattered across the floor and walls, canned goods are rolling in random directions, and most of the kitchen staff is making a run for it. Oz says most because Amira and Vicky have backed some poor skeleton girl with a chief hat into a corner.

"TELL US WHERE THE PUMPKINS ARE GERTRUDE!" Vicky shouts at the poor frightened girl.

"M-My name's not Gertrude," The skeleton girl stammers out while her bones rattle in fear.

"Doesn't matter," Amira scowls, "Tell us where the pumpkins are!"

Oz breaks off from Damien as he starts chasing the fleeing lunch helpers. He steps up next to Liam, Kale and Brian, who are watching the entropy play out from a safe distance. A fire starts and the crackling of the flames is only overshadowed by Vicky and Amira's shouting.

"You brought Damien," Kale doesn't ask this as much as he states it amusedly.

"Yeah," Oz rubs the back of his neck, "I told him Zoe and Amira were raiding the kitchen and you know how he gets when destruction is involved."

"P-Please just leave me alone!" Oz refocuses on Amira, Vicky, and the skeleton they're interrogating, "I-I don't know where the pumpkins are! Check the produce crates and just let me leave! They're right behind you! Just look!"

"Vicky," Amira doesn't move from where she's standing.

"On it," Vicky rushes over to the crates and prys up the wooden top of one to see what's inside.

Whatever was in the first crate isn't pumpkins because no sooner does Vicky open it does she quickly open up another. She gets through about three crates when Oz considers helping her look. However, just when Oz is about to make his way over to her, she opens one and her eyes light up.

"I found the pumpkins Amira! I told you they actually put them in the pumpkin casserole!" Vicky looks smug.

Amira turns around and walks to the crate with something similar to disbelief, "You're serious?! I could've swore they didn't use actual produce in their food."

"Well, the jokes on you! Look," Vicky steps back and lifts the lid of the crate to reveal at least two dozen perfectly shaped pumpkins, "You owe me fifty bucks!"

"When did they make a bet?" Oz asks Brian with an eyebrow raised.

"When they ran in here and Amira knocked over a shelf and sent flour everywhere," He replies with a shrug, "If Amira was right Vicky would've had to buy her lunch for a month."

"And Vicky only asked for fifty bucks?"

"She's not the best gambler if you couldn't tell," Brian chuckles.

The skeleton girl from earlier wastes no time in scurrying away as fast as possible while the girls are distracted. The fire inside the kitchen is starting to spread slowly when Damien finishes tormenting the staff and takes his place besides Oz.

"I finished traumatizing the kitchen staff. Most of them are gonna need at  _ least  _ two years of therapy after today," Damien smirks, "Looks like those two idiots you hang out with found some pumpkins too."

"Hell yeah we did!" Vicky picks up one of the pumpkins in the crate and holds it over his head, "Come on, grab one guys! We're gonna show everyone our discovery!"

Amira follows Vicky's instructions and puts a pumpkin under each of her arms, "Well, you heard Vicky! Are you gonna stand there like a bunch of logs or are you going to help?"

"Why do you want us to help you carry those?" Liam asks with a frown, "You figured out what you wanted?"

"Did you not hear what I said?!" Vicky frowns with a pumpkin still over her head, "We've gotta let everyone else know that they use real pumpkin in the casserole!"

"Why would anybody else care whether or not the pumpkin casserole has pumpkin in it?" Liam makes a gesture with his hands, "Nobody other than you two even questions the fall menu!"

"Stop trying to dissuade us!" Amira shouts, "Just be quiet and help because we said so!"

"Eh, that's good enough a reason for me," Kale steps forward and picks up two pumpkins in a similar way to Amira.

"Same," Brian steps forward and does the same as Kale to both Vicky and Amira's pleasure.

"I guess I'll help too," Oz shrugs before following suit and grabbing two of the giant vegetables.

"Pft, look at all of you," Damien scoffs, "I bet I can carry twice as many of those fucking fruits as you can."

Sure enough, Damien is somehow able to pick up five pumpkins comfortably. He looks very smug for someone helping with physical labor. 

With all of the monsters present holding pumpkins except Liam, the vampire looks a little conflicted. He stands there for a moment looking conflicted before relenting to peer pressure, or at least deciding to go along with it because Brian is. It's probably more of the latter. He grabs one of the smallest pumpkins and then looks towards all his friends with a less than enthused expression.

"Ok, everyone's got a pumpkin," Vicky nods to all her friends before skipping towards the exit to the kitchen, "Let's go show everybody!"

All seven monsters carrying fifteen pumpkins in total head back out into the lunchroom. Of course they draw quite a bit of attention to themselves. It's not everyday that you see some of Spooky High's most popular monsters carry pumpkins from a flaming kitchen while the staff run around like chickens with their heads cut off.

Vicky leads the group to their original lunch table, and sets her single pumpkin down on the table. Everyone else does the same with theirs. At this point, a small crowd has formed around the monsters. 

Vicky stands up on the table and addresses them, "We have come to tell you-"

"I'm not associated with her," Liam calls out.

"Fine then," Vicky pouts, " _ I _ have come here to tell you-"

"Hey! I  _ am _ associated with you!" Amira shouts.

Vicky glares at her friends before continuing, "Some choice individuals and I are here to tell you that the pumpkin casserole does in fact have real pumpkins in it! We need not worry about eating fake food any longer!"

Nobody in the tiny crowd really cares, but Vicky's excitement is contagious. The crowd cheers for no real reason. This goes on for about five minutes before the tiny group of people disperses, leaving to find the next exciting thing. 

Vicky hops down from the table, being careful to avoid tripping on the pumpkins, "I told you people would care!"

"No, you shouted at them and they responded with pity applause," Liam frowns, already on his phone again.

"Hey Vicky?" Amira asks, "What are we going to do with all these pumpkins now?"

"Oh, we can just bring them back to the…" Vicky looks up to see the entire kitchen engulfed in flames, "...or not."

Everyone, excluding Oz, gives Damien a look. Damien returns the attention with a glare, "I'm not apologizing. Setting crap on fire is literally my thing." 

"Great. Now what do we do with fifteen pumpkins?" Amira throws her hands in the air.

"Pumpkin pie?" Vicky suggests with a shy smile towards Oz.

"Vicky, don't even think about it," Brian eyes his shadow friend as his eyes light, "We are not making Oz bake that much pumpkin pie."

"Well, what else are we going to do?" Vicky pouts.

"Why don't we just leave them here?" Liam sighs, "We don't have to do anything with them."

Vicky ignores Liam entirely, "We have to do something with them? What about-"

"Why don't you just carve them?" Everyone turns to see Valerie sitting at the table next to them, her ears twitching in amusement, "I mean, it's fall after all. You've got a ton of pumpkins. Just carve them."

"How long have you been there V?" Kale asks with a tilt of his head in her direction.

"Long enough to see you have a dilemma," Valerie shrugs and her tail twitches.

"That's a perfect idea!" Vicky climbs back up on the lunchroom table and gazes across the cafeteria, "EVERYONE! WE'RE HAVING A PUMPKIN CARVING CONTEST!"

Amira jumps up next to Vicky, "YEAH! KALE, VALERIE, AND I ARE GONNA BE JUDGES!"

Kale and Valerie share a 'oh shit' look as a crowd starts to form around the table yet again. Vicky and Amira start handing out pumpkins and before Oz, Brian, Liam, and Damien know it, they have one shoved into their arms. 

"You guys helped get the pumpkins so you're competing whether you want to or not," Vicky says cheerfully as she starts pushing the different monsters to different tables.

"I'll set a timer for thirty minutes," Amira shouts, still on top of the table, "When the time's up, judging will begin!"

In a matter of minutes, everyone in the cafeteria is focused on the ongoing pumpkin carving contest. Oz looks around at all the other people roped into carving pumpkins. The big players of the competition were definitely Damien, Liam, Brian, Vicky, the Interdimensional Prince, and surprisingly, the Coven. Oz watches as his friends all go with the flow and start carving. Amira's already set the timer, so with a shrug, Oz decides to just humor his friends.

As time ticks down, everybody starts gutting gourds like nobody's business. Damien especially looks like he's enjoying the gutting bit. The Coven works in sync, trading tools and talking as if they were in the middle of a surgery. Brian and Liam are side by side as they both talk about what designs they are going to try for. The Interdimensional Prince spends a lot less time gutting and a lot more time gushing about how he's going to carve his face directly into the pumpkin.

"One minute left!" Amira shouts from where she's sitting next to Valerie and Kale, "Wrap it up!"

Oz finishes his pumpkin early and takes a step back to look at his work. Nothing special, but nothing terrible either. Oz wasn't trying to win anyways. He was having more fun just being included in the competition. Whether it was of his free will or not.

"Time's up!" Valerie is the one to shout this time, "Let's see what you idiots made!"

Amira, Kale, and Valerie flit from pumpkin to pumpkin with little clipboards that Oz guesses Vicky gave them. The pumpkins were… very representative of their carvers. Damien's still had a knife sticking in it and the gits were incorporated into the carving as if to represent the pumpkin puking its guts out.

"It's…" Kale seems like he's looking for a better word than disturbing, "...creative."

"He victimized a pumpkin," Amira deadpans, "He somehow made me feel bad for an inanimate object."

"It's on theme if we're talking about the scary side of Halloween," Valerie says, barely phased by the vegetable gore.

The next pumpkin to be judged is Oz's. He went for a very stereotypical jack-O'-lantern face. It had the old fashioned two triangle eyes, a triangle nose, and a sharp toothy smile.

"Classic," Valerie nods.

"Simple but effective," Kale agrees.

"Not as interesting as others, but the others are interesting because they're terrible so… good job," Valerie smiles with a nod.

Oz smiles and thanks them before they move to Liam and Brian's table. Liam's pumpkin just has a single circle carved in the center and Brian's just has a goofy face.

"So… uh… what were you two going for?" Valerie asks after a few moments of inspecting the vegetables.

"Minimalism," Liam responds, "My pumpkin is a comment on the more simplistic things that are necessary during the holidays to make the bigger things matter."

"Yeah, I didn't get any of that," Amira chews on her pen as she looks at Liam's pumpkin yet again.

"Ignoring that, I like the face on yours Brian," Kale compliments with a thumbs up.

"Thanks," Brian mirrors Kale with a similar thumbs up.

Amira, Kale, and Valerie walk up to the Coven next, with the group of other contestants tailing them. It's when they get about a foot from the table that Oz realizes they have three pumpkins, but only one is carved. The one pumpkin they carved has six eyes and is very arachnid like. 

"You do know Vicky gave you three pumpkins so you could each carve something right?" Amira asks.

"We didn't want to be involved in this in the first place," Joy deadpans, "Why would we do more than necessary?"

"We got dragged into it by peer pressure," Faith continues.

"Apparently, everyone at school thinks we're fake witches if we don't participate in Halloween traditions," Hope starts where Faith stops.

"Doing this should keep people off our backs for a while," All three girls finish.

"Yeah, let's move on to the next person," Amira walks away with Valerie and Kale behind her.

Second to last, the interdimensional Prince never got around to carving. He was too busy trying to get everyone to pay attention to him. Kale, Amira, and Valerie didn't even dignify the lack of effort with a response and walked by him without looking.

Last, but definitely not least. Vicky was somehow able to carve an almost perfect image of Scott on the side of her pumpkin. It was so lifelike that Amira had to take a second glance to make sure she didn't just take his picture to the pumpkin.

"This is amazing Vicky! It's so awesome I'm not even going to tease you about who you carved," Amira says in awe.

"Seriously, where did all this talent come out of nowhere?!" Valerie gasps.

"You have a talent for cutting the faces off pumpkins for sure," Kale sounds monotone, but it's clear he's impressed.

All three judges group together quickly and start whispering to each other. The discussion only lasts about five minutes, but the crowd waiting for a winner acts like it's been hours. All three judges break away from each other before nodding once. 

Amira steps towards Vicky and offers her a grin, "All of us have decided that you are the winner of this pumpkin carving contest Vicky. Truly, you are a master of the art of carving!"

"Yeah!" Vicky pumps a fist in the air happily.

Most of the monsters present cheer for her because they agree. Vicky really does have a hidden talent for carving. Oz turns to Damien to see if he's upset at losing, only to find him unphased. He notices Oz looking and turns to him.

"What is it dork?"

"You aren't mad you lost?" Oz asks honestly.

"I mean, I'm a little fucking annoyed," Damien shrugs, "But it's not my fault people can't see true greatness no matter how hard it punches them in damn face. Plus, I guess Sparky's pumpkin is ok. "

Oz chuckles, "I still think yours is the best."

Damien smiles at Oz, surprisingly soft, "Yeah, I think yours is my favorite too."

**_\--2 Days Until Halloween--_ **

"I need you," Damien begs Oz with desperation, holding both of Oz's hands.

When a certain demon grabbed him and tugged him into the nearest empty classroom as quickly as possible, Oz expected a lot of things. Damien asking to eat lunch with him, wanting to hang out on a rooftop and destroy some buildings, or maybe asking Oz to hide another body in the void (if anyone asks Oz said no) are a few requests that come to mind. One of the things Oz absolutely did not expect was this.

"W-What?" Oz asks, flustered and confused. His mind instantly refers back to when Damien insisted on sleeping with Oz while drunk and how he also left Oz with his jacket after the mage incident. However, just as Oz pulls these thoughts up, he quickly dismisses them. Damien was just drunk the first time and was looking out for Oz the second.

"Look, I've got this huge problem," Damien starts, "There's this group of demons in Hell that comes up to my dads' castle each year two days before Halloween. They've egged and teepeed everything for the last ten years straight and nobody can catch them in the act."

As Damien starts explaining his situation, Oz can't help feeling relieved yet deeply disappointed. He immediately scolds himself for the latter feeling. Why should he be disappointed when Damien surely doesn't like him that way. Ignoring his stupid emotions, Oz tunes back into Damien.

"-I've been staking out every October 29th for the last eight years," Damien continues, "But I come up empty handed no matter what I do to get the fuckers responsible. I'm much better at getting away from things than I am searching for them. That's where you come in Ozzie. I need your help as surveillance and stealth."

"...So you want to find and most likely kill the people who have been egging your house," Oz's eyebrows furrow, "And you want me to help you by acting as a set of security cameras?"

Damien lets go of Oz's hands, looking a little embarrassed, "Look, I know it sounds stupid but-"

"I'm in," Oz blames the butterflies in his stomach and cold hands on the fact he instantly agrees. Trying not to sound so desperate, Oz backtracks a little, "I-I mean, we've done much weirder things together, why wouldn't I help you with this?"

Damien looks surprised by Oz's easy agreement, but he recovers quickly enough that said shock is replaced with excitement in record time, "I knew you'd agree! HA, THOSE ASSHATS WON'T STAND A CHANCE WITH BOTH OF US GUNNING FOR THEM!"

"Umm, not to ruin the moment," Oz cuts into Damien's celebration, "But what's your plan for catching the vandalists?"

Oz feels a little stupid for asking. Damien never makes plans. Why would he have one now? The red demon proves Oz wrong the moment the next words come out of his mouth.

"I'm glad you asked," Damien smirks smugly, tugging Oz towards the nearest empty desk while pulling a tiny piece of paper from his pocket. The tiny paper turns out to not actually be that tiny as Damien unfolds it into a large blueprint of the castle. Looking at the paper, Oz is conflicted on being impressed by Damien's thoughtfulness and wondering how in the world he was patient enough to fold the huge map into such a tiny square.

"Wow. This is amazing Dames," The plan isn't actually as great as Oz thinks it is, but that's just favoritism for you, "How long did it take you to do this?"

"Three hours," Damien scowls as if just thinking about the time he spent annoys him, "I wasted three hours of my life thinking this up, but it'll be worth it when we catch the bastards insulting my family!"

Oz is so used to Damien's bloodlust that he doesn't even register it as he glances over the sheet in front of him. It had a detailed picture of the castle's layout along with a guard schedule, marks for all important exits, and an outline for a bunch of secret pathways that even Oz didn't know existed in the old palace. In the back of his mind, Oz promises to make sure Dahlia never gets to see this because she'd go insane trying to steal it from Damien. Honestly, why would Damien's dads let him have access to these kinds of important papers?

"What made you decide to think up a plan?" Oz asks curiously, "You always hate thinking ahead."

"Pft, after eight years of failure I decided to try something different," Looking away, Damien grumbles, "...and I might have taken your advice about thinking crap through before jumping in."

Oz can't help chuckling, "I guess I'm not that bad of an influence then?"

"You were never a 'bad' influence, but you definitely started as a lame one," Damien laughs, "When i first met you, you were one hell of a wet blanket. After spending so much time with me is what made you awesome."

"Oh, so me being able to form a horrific maw and turn into a monster the size of the school isn't cool," Oz teases.

"I know you're trying to be funny, but I technically caused you to do both indirectly so I also contribute that to me," Damien shrugs.

"How did you cause me to turn into a giant monster?!" Oz exclaims, "If that right goes to anybody then it's Zoe!"

"That totem bitch wishes she could be as cool as you and me," Is all Damien responds with.

"Damien, that wasn't my-"

"So anyways, you said you're in. That means I'll pick you up around seven...ish," Damien waves his hand as he starts to expertly fold the blueprints back into a small square, impressing and distracting Oz all the while, "Then we'll stake the night out and hopefully skewer some trespassers. Does that sound good for you?"

"The time or the skewering part?"

"...both," Damien replies slowly.

Oz is confused why Damien's asking him if it's alright to kill the people vandalizing his house considering he's never asked before, but Oz isn't one to push his luck. 

"Both are fine then I guess," Oz flashes his version of a smile, "I'll see you tonight?"

"Hell yeah you will!" Damien grabs and pulls him into a hug, "We are going to fuck some dumb bastards up!"

Oz fights his internal instincts not to blush into Damien's completely platonic hug, "Y-Yeah, I-I'm sure we will."

Damien actually has to force himself to let go off Oz. Why did the smaller monster just have to be so cute all the time? It made things difficult. Pushing these thoughts out of his head before they become a problem, Damien punches Oz in the arm.

"Now come on we can talk more about this over lunch," Damien backs towards the door without looking away from Oz, "I'm fucking starving."

Because he isn't looking, Damien backs directly into a desk and stumbles. He almost falls, but Damien catches himself last second. At a moment's notice, Oz is already at the demon's side and holding his elbow to steady him.

"I don't know Dames," Oz jokes, "Can you make it to the cafeteria without twisting your ankle."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Despite how angry Damien sounds, his pout is enough to let Oz know he's not really upset at the teasing **.** Well, that and the embarrassed tint to his ears.

"Come on, let's go," Oz lightly tugs on the elbow he's holding, "I'm not baking you cookies again because you missed lunch."

"That only happened twice!" Damien growls.

"Just come on," Oz laughs as they both rush towards the lunchroom.

…

Damien goes over everything one last time. Horrible horror movies, check. Candles, check. Roses, check. Damien checks his phone again only to scowl. It's not time yet. Damien goes over everything again in his head just to make sure nothing goes wrong.

Damien's been doing this for the last hour. Going over his plan repeatedly. He can't help cursing himself. Being anxious is supposed to be Oz's thing. His absolutely adorable thing, but his nonetheless.

How is Damien supposed to not worry though? He's finally got everything set up to ask his best friend out on a real date and so many things can go wrong. Yes, you heard him right. The whole people egging his house thing was a complete lie Damien came up with so he can ask Oz out. Well, not a complete ruse. The vandalism happens, but Damien could care less about who's doing it since everything is cleaned up by morning anyways.

The demon usually hates sappy and outrageous romantic things, but Damien also really likes Oz. If scoring a date takes a couple of love hearts and flowers then he'll buy enough roses to fill a pool and cut so many hearts his hands bleed. As it's been said before, Damien feels and does things 100% all the way.

Again, Damien checks to make sure the tiny alcove he found in the castle walls is set up perfectly before walking and climbing away and taking a walk through the castle. If he stays in that room for much longer he's going to go batshit crazy. Not that Damien isn't already going insane. 

It's been almost unbearable these last few weeks. What with half the school trying to get in Oz's bed. Okay, so maybe Damien's exaggerating. Dmitri and the Interdimensional Prince are the only ones trying to make any moves and Damien's been around to stop anything from happening before it starts. Actually, there was also that Avery whore that's already slept with more randos in the school than Polly, but Damien isn't that worried about her winning Oz's heart. No, the Prince and vampire are much more of a problem in Damien's book.

Luckily, they were also a problem that Damien could solve. Being bestfriends, Damien can use a certain amount of violence to stop people from getting close to Oz, but there is a limit. If they were boyfriends, Damien would have every right to kill anyone who attempts to chat up his Ozzie. Plus, if Oz and Damien  _ do  _ start dating, Damien would have an excuse to slowly start doing all the things he's been thinking of for a while. Making out, holding hands, and a couple more R-rated fantasies come to the demon's mind.

Dragging himself away from that rabbit hole, Damien rethinks his actual plans for the night. First he'll pick Oz up from his house and get him away from that annoying purple roommate of his. Then he'll drag the tinier monster around the castle a little in the 'hopes' of catching some vandal. When they don't find anything, Damien will casually suggest they find somewhere to wait and see if anything happens around the castle and bring Oz to the set up he already has. Then last, if everything goes to plan, he'll ask Oz out in the most heartfelt way he can manage and hopefully have an eldritch boyfriend by the end of the night. It's the perfect plan.

"...it's gonna be fine… it's gonna be fine…it's going to be fine…" Damien repeats the words under his breath like a mantra, praying it'll be true. 

Yet again, Damien checks his phone to only see what time it is. When the demon realizes it's exactly seven o'clock he whips his phone out at the speed of light and is already clicking buttons on his phone. A portal is already open before the clock can even get to 7:01. Damien pops into Oz's apartment only to immediately duck as a vase flies over his head and shatters against a wall.

"What the fuck?! Watch it?!" Damien shouts.

"Jeez, sorry," Damien looks up to see Oz standing between an angry Zoe and a very happy looking Flerken, "Zoe decided that playing 'what's inside the flerken' was a good way to get rid of her writer's block."

"I'm telling you that-"

"No Zoe," Oz turns from Damien to scold Zoe, "Dorothy could quite literally have an entire city in her mouth. You could have destroyed the house."

"But Dorothy's smart!" Zoe protests, "I'm sure she knows what's appropriate and-"

"Zoe, you're millions of years old. I shouldn't have to lecture you on why an alien creature of mass destruction, however smart she may be, is not capable of distinguishing a broken vase between a broken dimension," Oz frowns, "Don't make me call Vicky and ask her to babysit Dorothy. If she's here you'll never have Dorothy to yourself again."

Zoe pouts for a moment before walking around Oz, picking up Dorothy, and walking away grumpily, "Fine. I won't play any destructive games with Dorothy while you're gone, but you better know how much fun we're missing out on because of you!"

"I know. Sorry, and Thank you," Oz calls after Zoe, before turning to Damien with an apologetic look, "Sorry about that. Zoe and Dorothy both just get a little troublesome sometimes. The vase didn't hit you right?"

The strange weight in Damien's chest whenever Oz isn't around lifts and the demon smirks, "No, but even if it did I'd be fine. It's not like I'm gonna let some piece of crap glass beat me."

Oz snorts, and Damien feels his heart skip a beat, "It might not beat you, but getting hit with a vase to the face still isn't pleasant."

"Eh, I could take about fifty easily," Damien shrugs.

"Don't say that around Dahlia or she'll challenge you to a knock-out vase throwing competition," Oz rolls his eyes.

"That is the stupidest thing I think I've ever heard you say, and you've said a lot of dumb fucking things," Damien teases with no real heat.

"One, you've said much worse things to me many more times," Oz starts, "Two, I've seen Dahlia have a fridge throwing competition with the Wolfpack, so my suggestion isn't that far-fetched."

Has Damien mentioned how much he loves Oz? How he finds it so amazing that he's the only one who gets to actually see how sassy the short monster can be? How sweet it is that Oz was concerned about his well being before that of his house? How adorable he is when he looks at Damien with those almost challenging eyes?

"Nothing's that far-fetched when you go to school with a sentient ball of slime, zombies, and a fucking baby dragon," Damien scoffs to hide his thoughts. At this point Damien thinks the inside of his head turns into cotton candy and marshmallows whenever Oz is around. 

"Right," Oz nods then looks at the portal still open behind Damien, "Are you ready to finally catch the ones teepeeing your place?"

"HELL FUCKING YEAH I AM!" Damien doesn't even think as a lie rolls off his tongue, getting infused with the demon's real determination for tonight's actual goals, "TONIGHT IS GOING TO CRAZY! One way or another."

Oz does the adorable thing where he smiles despite his mouth and Damien wants to just grab him and pop the million dollar question right then and there. The only thing stopping him is the looming threat of rejection. 

"Well then," Oz is still smiling with his eyes, "How about we get going before Zoe recovers from her grumpy fit and comes back around to harass me?"

"You say that like I want to stay here and get barraged by a thousand crap questions. Let's get out of here. Every second we spend chatting is a second somebody could be hitting the castle," Every second is another that something can go wrong for Damien.

Without further prompting, Oz steps through the portal Damien's kept open and into the castle courtyard. A place far away from Damien's meddling parents who are way too invested in his love life. Damien might not know everything, but he sure as hell knows that if his parents catch wind of him bringing Oz to the castle, his chances of getting a date will tank.

"Hmm, well, this place still looks about the same as when I last visited," Oz looks up at the towers overlooking the small clearing they're standing in with something similar to nostalgia, "Although that tower wasn't here. Oh, and I'm pretty sure that one was red. I guess that section over there is new… actually, scratch what I said earlier. This is practically a new castle to me at this point."

"I'd ask if you wanted a tour," Damien huffs, "But I think that would ruin everything."

"Why is that?" Oz tilts his head towards Damien in amusement, "Do you think there's a spy in your guard just waiting to tell the eggers you have back up this year?"

"Wha-" Damien was referring to his parents, but he realizes that the supposed vandal situation doesn't have anything to do with them. As far as Oz knows, both his dads know he's here. The demon just barely keeps himself from slipping up, "Maybe. I don't know how these fuckers have kept a ten year streak, but at this point it's an actual possibility. A bullshit possibility, but a possibility nonetheless."

"I was… nevermind," Oz looks away, "You showed me your plan, what do you want to try first?"

Damien tenses. Shit, he knew he forgot something. That piece of bullshit he had Vera make for him with some old blueprints of the castle finally came back to bite him in the ass. He told the gorgan about his fake plan to stop some vandals and cashed in a favor to get it done quickly. Damien didn't even glance over the plan earlier. Oh, he's fucked. Time for him to use his best skill and try to bullshit his way out of this problem.

"How… about… the first part?" Damien sounds more like he's asking a question then answering one.

"...Do you mean the part about cameras?" Oz tilts his head, "I just assumed you were talking about my phobias."

"Yep, that's what I meant," Damien just goes along with what Oz says without questioning it, "That's  _ exactly _ what I was thinking. Why don't you go ahead and… do what the plan said."

Oz gives Damien a strange look before he lets dozens of phobias fly from his palms. The little black inky creatures disperse around happily letting out tiny chirping sounds as they go.

"There you go," Oz watches his phobias fly away and listens to their idle chatting in his head, "They're all over the castle now. If anything strange happens, then we'll know."

"Oh damn," If he was actually looking for the people egging the castle that would be perfect.

"Damien?" Oz looks at him again, confused.

Damien realizes what he said out loud and coughs, "That was quick! Did you attach little rocket boosters to those little fuckers or something?"

Oz laughs, "They can travel through shadows Dames. If they were slow I'd be worried."

"Still," Damien insists, "Those guys were a blur."

"That's what they're supposed to be," Oz replies ominously, "Never seen or heard."

"Perfect," Damien nods, "We've got these jokers backed in a corner now."

"On to phase two then?" Oz asks.

"Phase two?" Damien parrots, "Um, yeah! Phase two! You lead the way."

"...How am I supposed to lead you to the stake out spot. I don't know where it is," Oz is looking at Damien with a mix of confusion and concern, "Are you alright? You seem kind of out of it…"

Damien doesn't reply for a moment as he considers Oz's words. Stake out spot? Damien wasn't planning on bringing Oz to his secret hole in the wall until after the whole vandals ruse was over, but if the ruse depends on having a stake out point what other option is there. If he brings Oz to hunker down anywhere else it'll either be uncomfortable or at risk of being discovered by his annoying dads.

"Damien? If you don't feel up to this we don't have to-" 

"Follow me," Damien puts both of his hands on Oz's shoulder for a few seconds before turning and walking towards the hidden room in the castle.

Oz doesn't make much of a sound when he walks or runs, but Damien can still just tell when the monster's following him and when he's not. He makes his way to the part in the tiled floor and kicks it open. Damien drops down the hole to the ladder in the hole before looking up at Oz.

"Give me thirty seconds before you come down." 

Without waiting for response, Damien slides down the ladder in one go and glances around. Okay, Damien might have already sabotaged himself a little, but things aren't unsalvageable. Damien starts throwing the roses and other romantic memorabilia where it won't be seen. It's a desperate rush to get everything hidden before his friend shows up, but Damien is the kind of person that does well under pressure. In a matter of seconds, all the evidence of Damien's sappy emotions are out of sight. It's just in time too because no sooner does he step back and look around does Oz step off the ladder.

"Wow," Damien won't lie and say he doesn't take immense satisfaction from the awe in Oz's voice.

As the incarnation of fear looks around, Damien follows his gaze just to make sure he didn't miss anything when he was ransacking the room earlier. The roses are hidden under the bean bag chairs in the corner, the candles are hidden in a hole covered by rock posters, and anything else Damien had out can just be considered a part of the room. An example of such things would be the snacks and movies set in front of the small TV Damien snuck down.

"How did you find this place?" Oz stops looking around to turn towards Damien.

"Accidentally fell in," Damien decides that with all the untruthfullness happening he might as well be honest about this, "The fucking tile hiding the ladder wasn't that stable before I replaced it and I fell right through. Pissed me the hell off, but I found a place in Hell my dads don't know about so it ended up being a win."

“You didn’t get hurt when you fell, right?” 

“Pft, like a twelve foot drop is going to hurt me!” Damien rolls his eyes, "I've jumped from the fifth floor of a building before!"

"Yeah, and you almost gave me a heart attack when did it," Oz shakes his head, "But seriously, you didn't roll your ankle or something did you?"

"I'm fine Ozzie," Damien rolls his eyes before walking across the room and falling backwards onto a beanbag chair. When Oz doesn't move to sit in the chair next to the demon, he gestures to it, "C'mere and sit down. This is what phase two was about right? We sit and wait for the vandals to try and pull shit?"

"You wrote the plan. I don't know why you're asking me," Oz follows Damien's instructions and settles down in the bean bag next to him.

"Uhhh, yeah… right…" Damien just nods along with what Oz is saying as he grabs a soda can from his stash.

"So…" Oz looks around, "I'm all up for sitting her in silence all night waiting, but do you have something to keep you entertained."

Damien almost laughs. Does he have something to keep him from getting bored? Yes. The thoughts of how wrong everything has gone so far and that the chances of him kissing Oz by the end of the night have dropped quite a bit.

Instead of saying what he's thinking, Damien scoffs, "What? Are you saying I'm impatient? I'm the most patient person I know."

Oz raises an eyebrow at Damien, but stays silent. Damien waits for Oz to respond for about thirty seconds before breaking the silence.

"What? You don't have something to say?"

"Nope, only the fact that you just proved my point," Oz gets that cheeky look on his face that shows how proud of himself he is.

It takes Damien a few seconds before he registers what Oz just did. When he does, he scowls, "Screw you. Just because you did that, I'm not showing you what I had planned."

"Fine," Oz rolls his eyes in amusement, "I'm sorry for telling you the truth. Will you please show me what you were going to?"

"Y'know if you weren't so useful I would beat you up for being so snarky all the time," Despite his words, Damien is already reaching for the stack of horror movies he bought for the occasion, "I saw these stupid Korean horror movies you were talking about a few weeks ago with the Loser Gang. I figured we might as well watch them or something since we're going to be here all night."

"Woah," Oz takes the movies from Damien and looks through them, "I wanted to watch these with Vicky and Amira, but neither of them handle gore very well."

"Fucking pussies," Damien laughs, "I bet the shit in that movie can't compare to the crap down here."

"So, you want to watch them with me?" Oz can't keep the excitement out of his voice.

"I wouldn't have bought them if I wasn't going to watch them with you," Damien laughs as he grabs one of the DVDs from Oz and slips it into the player, "How bad can these possibly be?"

They were BAD. Not the kind of bad where Damien was scared, but the gore in them was so horrific that Damien found himself staring at the screen in disbelief during some scenes. At some point Damien decided to show this to his dads later to see if they can use some of this stuff in Hell. Like, it's seriously fucked up, but it's the kind of fucked up Damien loves.

"Holy shit is he going to stab that into-"

There's a horrible scream followed by a wet puncturing sound.

"Yep, the eye," Oz sounds amused by Damien's excitement.

"That was awesome!" Damien turns to Oz to find him watching the screen without any hesitance. It's strange seeing Oz watch horror movies. With the way he acts around people, he just seems like the type to be scared easily. It's at this point that Damien realizes Oz has probably  _ done _ stuff like this in the past, and holy shit, he should not find that idea as attractive as he does.

"Yeah, I guess that was pretty-" Oz abruptly stops talking, and his eyes widen, "There are two people near the southern tower wearing black hoods and carrying suspicious bags. I think your vandals are here Dames."

"The vandals?" Damien's mind voices the question before his mouth does.

Oz's eyebrow's furrow, "The people trying to cover your house in eggs and toilet paper Dames. Those are the vandals."

"I knew that!" Damien snarls, "I just wasn't expecting those dipshits to show up right now!"

...Or ever. Damien didn't think about what he'd do if he actually found the intruders. He just kind of expected Oz to stop looking once the movies started playing. Guess that was wistful thinking.

"Oh, sorry," Oz rubs the back of his neck while apologizing, "You just didn't look as surprised as you did confused."

Damien tries to think of what to do about the pesky idiots interrupting the lead up to his confession and decides to stay in character. He'll just  _ have _ to beat them to death and then burn them to ashes; hopefully in under five minutes!

"T-They umm, haven't done anything yet, but…" Oz stops talking again and Damien knows that means he's getting input from one of his phobias this time, "Nevermind, they have eggs, and they are throwing them."

"Guess it's time to disembowel some noobs," Damien stands up and stretches as he pauses the movie, "Get us over there so I can end those asshats lives quickly."

"I thought you wanted to torture them or something?" Oz looks confused again, "You're plan said something about torture."

"Uh…" Damn Vera and her obsession with torturing people to get them to what she wants, "I changed… my mind."

Oz doesn't look that convinced, but he nods slowly anyways, "Okay…"

Damien's sinks into his own shadow quickly before he's deposited outside behind one of the castle towers. Oz appears next to the demon only seconds later. They both peek around the corner sneakily, to see one person tossing eggs while another throws toilet paper. The two castle invaders also have a bag filled with what seems to be Halloween candy.

"How do you want to do this?" Oz asks.

"Simple, you stand here and watch while I go demolish a couple of monster upstarts," Damien not only wants to get this over with quickly, but he'd like to impress Oz.

Without any more of a preamble, Damien rushes out from behind the tower and stomps towards the intruders. He pulls two daggers out of nowhere and growls loudly to catch the intruders' attention. At the sound, both of the cloaked figures freeze. A cartridge of eggs hits the ground with a crunch and there's a small 'oh no' from one of the two.

"Oh no is right. You shitstains are about to get wrecked for fucking with  _ MY  _ house! Remember the name Damien LaVey because I am going to be the last thing you see before you die!" As Damien talks, his smile turns toothy and crazed.

"Wait a moment-"

Despite the voice sounding strangely familiar, Damien lunges towards the vandals with his blades swiftly. However, to the demon's surprise, both the cloaked figures dodge his slash completely. Being the fight-prone and knife wielding man he is, that doesn't often happen when Damien strikes. 

Increasingly angry that this is taking longer than he'd like and because his opponents dodged him, Damien goes in for a second strike to the invader on his left only for the other member of the duo to literally snatch the blade from Damien's hand.

"Damien? Do you want some help?" Oz sounds concerned, but Damien refuses to ask for help when he was trying to impress his crush. However, instead of replying to Oz in a normal way he does something different.

"YOU MOTHEFUCKERS BETTER JUST STAY STILL SO I CAN STAB YOU IN THE GODDAMN EYES!" That should let Oz know Damien's got this handled, right?

Damien spins around to stab at the guy who was throwing toilet paper earlier with vigor and bloodlust. The attack gets dodged yet again, but this time when the vandal jumps back, their hood falls down revealing…

Damien stops stabbing and slashing to let his jaw drop, "DAD?!"

"Uh… Hello son," Stan LaVey waves at his progeny awkwardly, "You seem to have caught me and your father at a bad time."

"DADS?!?" Damien whips his head to the side to watch as Lucien LaVey pulls back his own hood.

"Hello Damien," Lucien waves at his son in a similar way to his husband.

"W-What are you guys doing?!" Damien shouts in confusion, "Why are you egging the castle?!"

Both Lucien and Stan join hands as they laugh at Damien's question. The demon being laughed at just stares forward, puzzled as to what his parents could possibly be doing.

"Well you see son," Lucien starts, "You're father and I have spent every October 29th since we got married doing this."

Stan nods, "It's our tradition to take the night off and use it as our date night to go steal a bunch of candy from a bunch of church's trunk-or-treats."

"What does that have to do with-" Damien gestures towards the eggs and toilet paper on the ground before doing the same to the yolk covered wall of the castle beside him, "THIS?!"

"Oh, the egging?" Stan laughs.

"We do that to keep the royal guard on their toes!" Lucien joins in with his husband's chuckling.

"I- You two go out every Halloween and steal candy from kids as some kind of romantic rondevu. Then come back to the castle and trash it for no reason?!" Damien stares at his parents in disbelief.

"Exactly!" Both of Damien's dads reply at once.

"I- you two are dweebs," Damien says, still shocked, "I TRIED TO STAB YOU BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE VANDALS!"

"Yes you did," Lucien nods, "And we couldn't be prouder!"

"I agree. Out of all the royal army, you were the one to finally catch us in the act," Stan smiles, "You did it in one day too! I mean, the guard has been searching for us for years, and they haven't even caught a glimpse under our hoods! You on the other hand have never once taken interest in finding out who trashed the castle in the last twenty years we've been doing it! In fact, I didn't even think you knew the egging happened until you were around eleven! It's a testament to how brilliant you are, son!"

"...Or to how iconpetant the royal guard is," Lucien adds thoughtfully.

Damien ignores his dads for a moment to glance back at the tower Oz was hiding behind. If he heard all that stuff then he'll know Damien was lying about the whole staking out thing and wonder why he got invited to Hell. Luckily for Damien, Oz seemed to have hid whenever his parents were revealed to be… well… his parents. 

Damien does however, make eye contact with a very mischievous looking phobia staring at him from a tiny hole inside the tower's brick work. The tiny phobia giggles when Damien's eyes widen, before the tiny black creature puts a tiny finger over its mouth and pretends to zip it. Damien almost laughs out loud in rief when he realizes the tiny things trying to say it'll keep quiet.

Looking back at his parents, Damien tries to find an excuse to leave and get back to Oz. Even if all his plans have gone to ruin, the two of them can at least finish watching movies together.

"Wow, you stole candy from a bunch of little kids," Damien doesn't know where he's going with this, but to hell with it, "That's so fucking weird. Why the hell would you take diabetes wrapped in plastic from a bunch of cars. I thought the person trashing the castle was going to have a cool reason for doing it. Y'know like some kind of Halloween demon with a grudge, or a bunch of kids from the 6th circle of Hell with a death wish."

"HA ha ha!" Stan laughs, "Sorry to disappoint then, but it was just us having fun. Maybe we can cheer you up by having some famous LaVey chili for dinner tomorrow? We can go grab some traitors from the dungeon right now and whip some up. It might take all night to make it but it'll be fun!"

"NO!" I mean… uh," Damien backtracks, he wants to spend the rest of the night with Oz, but he doesn't want to make it obvious to his parents that he's doing something, "I'm not in the mood."

"But LaVey chili is your favorite?" Lucien sounds confused, "You always are excited to have it."

"Well, I'm not up for it tonight," Damien scowls, "Now if you don't mind me. I'm going to go cuss out the nearest breakable object in my room to forget about the fact that this happened."

Without waiting for a response, Damien turns around and starts speed walking away. His parents are too confused by his strange behavior to follow him. Once he's out of his parents' line of sight, Damien books it back to his hideout. In record time, Damien is down the ladder and standing in the room looking for his best friend crush.

"Yo Ozzie! You here or what?!" Damien doesn't shout his words, as they might get somebody above him's attention, but he's still pretty loud, "My parents are gone now!"

At those last words, Oz manifests from the shadow of a beanbag chair looking relieved, "Thank god. I did not want the first time I meet your parents in person to be when you accidentally tried to kill them."

Damien laughs, "That would have been awkward as hell."

"Yeah, I think I would have passed out from how embarrassed I'd be if that had happened," Oz giggles.

"Well," Damien changes the subject, "Since we solved that mystery, we can get back to watching movies now, right?"

Oz looks a little surprised, "Oh, I thought since we found out who was hitting the castle you'd want me to go home."

"What?! No!" Damien rolls his eyes and scowls at the same time, "We're halfway through one of the goriest movies I've ever had the pleasure of watching. You think I'm going to miss watching the end with the literal embodiment of fear? Psh, hell fucking no!"

Damien makes his way over to the beanbag chairs and plops down in one. Then, in a similar gesture to earlier, he waves Oz over to sit in the one next to him. Moments after the offer is made, Oz follows Damien's suggestion and sits down. Despite the demon's lack of understanding when it comes to fluffy emotions, Damien can be one hundred percent certain that Oz looks pretty fucking happy to finish watching the movie with Damien.

The two stay silent as they finish watching the movie. When the credits start rolling, Oz turns to Damien with a hesitant expression.

"Hey Dames?" Oz asks.

"Hmm? What?" Damien turns to Ozzie with an eyebrow raised.

"That plan you came up with on the blue prints, that wasn't actually your plan, was it?

Damien sputters, thinking his real intentions for the night have been found out, "What?! Of course it was?! Who else would come up with something as awesome as… whatever I wrote down on that blue paper?! Vera?! Pft, n-no fucking way!"

"Oh, sorry," Oz sighs, "It's just, you kept asking me about your plan like you didn't know what it was, you didn't seem as excited as you did earlier about the whole capturing the vandals thing, and then there was just the fact that… well… the plan really looked like it was in Vera's hand writing."

"Dammit," Damien got caught. It's probably best for him to just come clean now rather than later. This might not be nearly as romantic or smooth of a confession as he wanted, but he'll deal. Afterall, they might be smashed, but there's still a bunch of roses under his beanbag chair, "Fine, I didn't make the plan. I just wanted you to come over here to hang out."

Damien quickly prepares himself for the next part of his plan. The big confession and question. Sadly, Damien never gets the words out, as Oz interrupts.

"Aw Dames," Oz's voice is soft, just like everything else about him, "You didn't have to come up with an excuse to invite me over. I like spending time with you. You're pretty much my best friend and I'd do anything for you."

Damien stares at Oz, completely taken back by the sincere words. It takes a second for Damien to set his brain back on track. This is his chance. Say what he has to say and Ozzie just might be his.

"I…" Damien panics. What if Oz says no? The wrong words come out, "I feel the same way dork. We're totally best fucking friends Ozzie, and don't you forget it."

Oz looks happy at Damien's words, but also a little… sad.

"I won't," The words are humorless and bittersweet from Oz.

In the end, no monster quite got what they wanted that night.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


…

  
  
  
  
  


Well, except Lucien and Stan LaVey, who gorged themselves on Halloween candy as the royal guard searched the castle grounds for the seventh time.

**_\--Halloween--_ **

The big day came quicker than anybody expected. It felt like it was only a few few hours ago that everyone gathered to decide on what costumes to wear, and now everyone's got them and ready to show them off. Well, at least Zoe and Oz are ready to show theirs off. 

"Oz, stop messing with your tail," Zoe whines, "We're going to be late to school!"

"But I don't think I got the spade right," Oz voices his concerns aloud, "What if Damien thinks I'm making fun of him or-"

Zoe sighs in an exasperated way before grabbing Oz's shoulders and guiding him to the nearest mirror, "You look fine Oz! Just look at yourself!"

Oz does what Zoe asks and looks in the mirror with an embarrassed grumble. Damien gave Oz a pair of his old clothes to wear as a costume, but the jacket was a little too big and the pants were a little too long. It took three different sessions of tailoring, blushing, and teasing from Zoe to get the apparel to fit and Oz still doesn't think it looks right on him. While they were bonding over the fact they both knew how to sew, Zoe convinced Oz to shapeshift himself a pair of demon horns and a tail to further his Halloween game. Oz was hesitant at first to go to school shape-shifted, he still is, but Zoe's a force to be reckoned with when she wants something so eventually Oz relented and did what she asked.

However, despite all the girl's encouraging words and compliments, Oz can't help dreading everything when he looks in the mirror. Oz looks so out of place in Damien's jacket and with a copy of his hellish attributes. He feels like an impostor in his own skin.

"I am looking…" Oz meekly responds.

Seeing Oz isn't any bit more encouraged, she growls and her tentacles float above her head, "WHY WON'T YOU LET ME BOOST YOUR SELF ESTEEM!"

"I just don't think I should wear this. It's weird," Oz shrugs, "I mean, I'm literally wearing my crush's clothes so maybe I'm the one making it weird, but…"

"Oh my god you are literally helpless," Zoe's tentacles drop with her hostility and she face palms, "You are wearing that to school today because it's Halloween and I won't let you bail okay! Don't make me call Vicky and Amira because you know what they'll do if I tell them you're getting cold feet about dressing up."

"Zoe…" Oz doesn't know if he wants Zoe to leave or keep badgering him until he can gather up enough resolve to leave his house and go out in public.

"Plus," Zoe ignores Oz's whine entirely, "I'm sure you'll feel different when you see Damien and he practically drools over you."

"Zoe!" Oz blushes, "D-Don't say things like that!"

"Hmph, I'm only stating the truth," Zoe crosses her arms, "Everytime anyone mentions your costume to that big red ofe he acts as if they just offered him the winning ticket to the lottery."

"T-That's not true…" Oz covers his face with his hands to hide the color, "P-Please don't kid around like that…"

"You are so lucky you made me promise not to meddle," Zoe rolls her eyes, "Or I would have forced the both of you to get together at this point. I mean, nothing short of Damien pinning you against a wall and kissing you is going to make it through that thick head of yours."

"Please stop…" Oz begs pitifully.

"Only if you grow a pair and go meet your crush at school so he can tell you how awesome you look."

"Fine…," Oz steps away from the mirror and tries to get rid of his rosy cheeks.

"Finally, I seriously thought we were going to be late," Zoe's mood lightens stupendously, "I've gotta meet up with Dahlia and Calculester to make sure they put their costumes on correctly. I'm not that worried, but if we want to be a proper Coven 2.0, the looks are everything."

"Where are you meeting?" Oz asks.

"Oh, right outside the school on the left-" Zoe falls through her own shadow with an undignified screech. Oz might be just a tiny bit petty. Although, he did make sure he dropped her off on her feet. A joke's a joke unless you mess up one of Zoe's costumes. At that point it turns into murder.

There's buzzing in the pocket of Damien's jacket and Oz doesn't even have to look to know that it's Zoe shouting at him. Gathering all the courage he can muster, Oz steps through his own shadow and pops up inside his first period class. The class that just so happens to be full of students for the first time since the beginning of the year. It's almost funny that the classroom is only occupied on the day the teachers let people do whatever they want.

Oz does what he knows best and blends into the background as the more rowdier and popular kids speak over the regular kids. You'd think a kid having horns and a tail that didn't have one yesterday would draw some attention, but Oz is good at what he does. Not even his bestfriends notice he's there with all the chaos.

With his only two options of things to do being between sulking his anxiety and people watching. Oz chooses the less nerve wracking latter option and glances around. The first person to catch his attention is also the main attraction of the room. The Interdimensional Prince is kneeling on an empty desk as he smiles and shouts to the person he's trying to marry this time. 

Oz tries to remember who he's supposed to be dressed up as, but just as a name reaches his grasp his mind gets fuzzy and he decides to stop thinking about it. The Prince is wearing a turtle backpack and a black T-Shirt with yellow block letters that says, "Send Nudes." To most this would be off putting, but the shirt really seems to fit him. The more normal parts of his outfit are the tan cargo shorts and sneakers. Overall, Oz doesn't think the Prince did that bad.

"My costume is the epitome of perfection!" The Interdimensional Prince switches from kneeling on top of a desk to sitting on it seductively, "Truly, I do understand why people flock to me like bees to honey."

The eye rolls across the classroom can practically be heard once the Prince is done with his little speech. 

"HA HA HA!  _ YOU _ the epitome of perfection?!" Dmitri somehow already made his way on top of the desk next to the Prince, "How dare you mock me by even insinuating you're on my level. The only way anyone can be perfect is by joining the dark side. Even my costume showcases my endless malicious talent and skill."

"You put a shirt on?!" Is what Oz almost blurts out, but he saves himself the embarrassment by quickly silencing himself.

However, despite Oz not voicing his thought, many other students shared his gut reaction. Half the classroom boos, although those are mostly the really horny students who liked staring at his abs all day. Oz only knows people do this because of Zoe's terrible influence. The other half cheers out for the completely arrogant and promiscuous putting on a shirt and preserving his modestly.

"See?" Dmitri takes the applause as people cheering for his outfit, "I'm amazing!"

The outfit actually wasn't all that. Dmitri got Brian, a zombie that definitely isn't known for his insane fashion sense. All Dmitri's wearing is a green jacket hoodie, a grey undershirt, some black pants, and a pair of boots. Maybe the fact that he wasn't decked out in accesories is what made his costume so shocking. Afterall, who would've guessed they'd ever see Dmitri in normal clothing.

"I object! How can you be perfect when you're not even married to me," The Prince's words aren't really a protest to Dmitri's earlier statement.

"Pft! Marriage?! It's all about turning people to your side through lavish yet equally vile intercourse," Dmitri sounds eloquent but his words are nothing short of blunt.

"As intriguing and as arousing as that sounds," The Prince starts, "There is nothing more perfect than being binding two lovestruck souls together under the a vow of the government. How could anything be better than that?"

Before Dmitri can respond and things get even more awkward, Valerie steps in to break it up, "Calm down boys, both of you are major dicks, there's no need to have a pissing contest over it."

Valerie picked Liam at the beginning of the month and Oz can honestly say she's rocking the look. The classy dress shirt she's wearing goes perfectly with almost replica versions of Liam's bow tie and suspenders. The expensive looking pants go even better with the purple socks and khakis are just the cherry on top to the outfit.

Most of the class erupts into laughter at Valerie's statement and both the Prince and Dmitri shut up before leaving the room in some type of huff. The Interdimensional Prince leaves through a portal, and Dmitri just poofs into a cloud of just.

"Jeez, those guys couldn't get more annoying if they tried," Valerie's tail flicks around to express her annoyance.

"Naw, I think they could do it," Kale is sitting back in the seat next to the commotion, "It'd be hard, but knowing them, very possible."

Oz is impressed to say the least. The moment he spots Kale in his signature mustard cardigan he's taken back. Sure, Oz gave the living plant a pair of his favorite clothes to use, but it didn't change the fact that Oz wasn't prepared for it. Neither was he prepared for his phobias to jump out and start pointing at the plant monster excitedly.

Oz laughs to himself as Coulrophobia points between him and Kale frantically, "Shhh guys. I can see him. I see that he looks like me alright?"

The phobias only calm down once Valarie huffs, "Don't tempt fate Kale. If those two come back twice the trouble I'm blaming you."

"I don't think they're annoying," Blober pipes up, "They just have bright personalities!" 

Blobert's costume wasn't that complicated. He was dressed Zoe and just wearing an anime shirt that's sleeves fell limply at his sides. Still, everyone in the room quiets down just to soak up the tiny glob of purety's presence. Nobody would agree with something Blobert says.

In the quiet following Blobert's words, there's suddenly a loud sound of footsteps outside the classroom in the hallway. Some of the students present instinctively duck under their desks to cover for impact. However instead of an impact, the door to the classroom only opens with a bang to reveal Zoe, Calculester, and Dahlia. The eldritch abomination in control of the small group glances around. 

Having a feeling he knows who she's looking for, Oz tries to blend in with the group even more. Sadly, this movement is the exact thing that gives away his cover. Zoe locks eyes with Oz and they both have silent conversation in a matter of seconds.

Oz shakes his head no.

Zoe nods once.

Oz shakes his head no.

Zoe nods constantly and makes her way towards Oz's desk in the back of the class, "OZ! Why didn't you come with me to meet up with Dahlia and Cal! I wanted you to see my handiwork on their outfits!"

And now everyone's attention is on Oz, great. Nobody immediately tells him he's ugly when they see his costume though, so Oz takes his win and tries to ignore the stares.

"I-I thought you w-wanted to meet up with them alone so you could make any last adjustments to their outfits," Oz stammers.

Zoe squints at Oz like she's about to say something, but gets cut off by three familiar voices.

"Holy shit!" Amira stands up from a desk across the room and heads over to Oz.

"You look great!" Vicky pops up right next to Amira out of nowhere.

"Vicky! Wait up!" Scott's trailing after Vicky, looking very intrigued when he spots Oz.

Oz waves at the three monsters starting to crowd him awkwardly, nobody else in the room is talking yet, so he still feels stressed. Oz takes his mind and quickly sets out to focus on what his friends' costumes look like. Oz has already seen Zoe, Dahlia, and Calculester's costumes so that leaves Vicky, Amira, and Scott.

Oz's scans Amira's outfit first. The fiery Djinn is wearing a training bra that perfectly matches Dahlia normal ones along with the leggings and tennis shoes. The the finishing touches to her costume though are the plastic blue demon horns she has fastened away from her hair and the spaded blue tail. Next, Oz glances at Vicky to see that she's wearing a smaller version of Scott's sports jacket, t-shirt, and sneakers. Of course, Oz already knew what both girls' costumes looked like since he helped make them.

Not surprisingly given the get up, Oz's gaze is eventually drawn to Scott. Oz instantly looks away when he realizes Scott is literally in his tighty whities, socks, and a hat. Oz hasn't even mentioned the fact that the werewolf's covered in some type of orange goo. 

The good thing for Oz is that none of his friends notice his embarrassing reaction to Scott. The bad thing for him is that the reason they aren't paying attention to his reactions is because they're focused on Oz's costume.

"Oh my gosh! You look just like Damien!" Vicky gasps, "You're like him, except smaller, and if he got dipped in a vat of ink!"

"Jeez, and I thought I had the horns and tail thing in the bag," Amira laughs, "You blew me out of the water!"

"T-Thanks! Y-You guys look great too!"

Not knowing how to accept all the compliments being thrown his way, Oz looks to Zoe for some type of support, only to see her looking at him smugly. If I told you so was an expression, it would be the one on Zoe's face right now.

"Who are you?" Scott stares at Oz in confusion, "You look like a demon, smell like my friend Damien, but you talk like my friend Oz…"

"Scott, that is Oz! Remember Damien is who Oz got to dress up as?!" Vicky tries to get Scott to remember.

"That's Oz?" Scott asks, still puzzled.

"Yep! As for why ue smells like a certain demon, I have a feeling Oz got his clothes directly from the source," Oz blushes at the suggestive tone and looks Amira sends his way. 

"D-Damien and I m-made a three way trade with Aaravi," Oz quickly tries to explain before rumors start spreading abou him and Damien, "I g-gave Aaravi a pair of Vicky's clothes that she lent me, Aaravi gave Damien a pair of hers, and then Damien gave me one of his jackets and other stuff."

"Wait," Vicky stops and stares at Oz with a dangerous glint, "Has Damien seen you yet?!"

"W-Well-"

"No, Oz has been in here since he got to school," Zoe cuts Oz off to answer herself.

"Zoe!" Oz exclaims.

"Wait, you've been her all morning," Amira frowns, "How did we miss you?"

"WHO CARES?!" Vicky squeals, "We have to find Damien and show him Oz right now!"

"Vicky," Amira starts, "I have never been happier to be your friend as I am this moment."

"Same!" Vicky butts into the two girls' moment. 

Realizing this isn't going to be over anytime soon, Dahlia and Calculester walk away to let the three girls do what they want with Oz. They both grab Scott and drag him away as well. The werewolf is still too confused about the whole Oz/Damien dilemma that he doesn't even put up a fight. Zoe grabs Oz's hand and tugs him out of his seat before Vicky and Amira stand by him on either side as if body guards.

"Where do you think he's at?" Vicky asks.

"Wherever he thinks Oz is at," Zoe scoffs as if the question was stupid.

"Funny joke, but for real, have any of you seen him this morning?" Amira raises an eyebrow.

"Damien usually ditches in the bathroom during first period while Oz goes to class. He's probably there right now despite classes pretty much being canceled," Zoe replies smoothly, "I know because I've stalked Damien for a couple weeks before."

"Zoe!" Oz shouts, mortified that his roommate has been stalking his crush.

"To the bathroom then," Vicky hooks her arm in Oz's left before Amira takes the right. They both work together to drag Oz out of the classroom while Zoe leads the way. 

"W-Wait, I'm not-"

"Shut up and just be adorable Oz," Zoe smirks, "This can only go in your favor."

Accepting his fate, Oz let's the three girls drag him down the hall while looking out for his friends' costumes. They pass the Coven in the hallway, each dressed up at their respective people. Joy is dressed as Vera, Hope is dressed up like Miranda, and Faith's costume is Polly. Tate and Violet don't look like they're dressed up as anything, but it's quite possible they decided they were already technically dressed up to look like another since they're in the same body. Oz also spots the Wolfpack practically clothless. Seems the whole Howl family decided Halloween is the time of the year for wearing their underwear in public. Although if Oz remembers properly they're supposed to be dressed up as Calculester, so he doesn't really know if this getting undressed thing even has to do with the costumes.

With a bit of dread, Oz realizes that he's getting dragged closer and closer to his doom. The less distance between him and Damien the more nervous Oz gets. He expresses this nervousness in the only way Oz knows how, thinking up every possible way this can go wrong. In fact, the only thing not sending Oz into a direct break down is Amira and Vicky's grip on his arms.

To keep himself from freaking out further, Oz telepathically singles Zoe out, "Y-You said you're sure that Damien won't hate me dressing up as him? I mean, I-I don't want him to think I'm making fun of him just because I look terrible in his clothes."

The co-ed bathroom door is in sight when Zoe turns around and levels Oz with a completely serious gaze, "I promise, 100%, that he will not hate or dislike your costume."

Amira and Vicky stop dragging Oz right outside the door to the bathroom, and the fiery djinn cuffs Oz on the back of the head, "What kind of stupid stuff is he saying now. Whatever it is you don't have to worry about it."

"Yeah!" Vicky jumps in, "You just have to not overthink things and go for it! Like right now!"

Before Oz can ask what she means, Zoe opens the door and Vicky shoves him into the bathroom. Oz stumbles gracelessly as one of the girls slams the door behind him and he tries not to fall. Once Oz's sure he won't trick over his temporary tail, he looks up just in time to see Damien turn towards him. It's like a rollercoaster watching the emotions on Damien's face switch. First he looks annoyed, then surprised, and then his expression settles for something Oz doesn't know how to describe. 

What Oz does know how to describe on the other hand, is Damien's costume. While all of Damien's clothes were big on Oz, all of Aaravi's is extra tight on Damien. The signature Slayer cloak is pulled up over his head and gripping around the demon's shoulders tightly. The torse piece clings to Damien's chest tightly, leaving very little to the imagination. The pants were also practically just extra tight skinny jeans, which feels self explanatory. The boots and forearm protectors also looked quite uncomfortable to be wearing, but Oz couldn't find himself paying that much attention to those among everything else.

Damien's going through a similar state of mental paralyzle across from Oz. He can't help it when Oz wearing  _ his _ clothes while looking absolutely fucking adorable. Damien goes through another miniature crisis when he realizes that Oz has a pair of copy cat horns and a tail to go with the costume. Damien finds himself watching the replica tail wave back a forth before slithering around Oz's calf, a sign that the smaller monster's nervous. 

At the moment, all the monsters present know is that their stomachs are suddenly full of butterflies, their throats are dry, they feel happy, they're terrified, and both their brains are shutting down and going into overdrive at the same time.

"Ozzie…?" All it took was Damien's chaste question to knock them both out of a limbo between their minds and reality.

"H-Hey," Oz rubs the back of his neck nervously and his voice is meek, "D-Do you like my costume?"

Damien is stuck between saying hell yeah, fuck yeah, or walking across the room and just kissing the oblivious embarrassed dork until he realizes how much this is killing Damien. The demon goes with options one and two.

"FUCKING HELL YEAH!" Damien exclaims passionately, "You look absolutely metal!"

Oz perks up a little and looks Damien in the eyes hopefully, "R-Really? I felt kinda weird dressing up as you. I didn't think I could do you justice."

Well, Damien had a good 21 year run being a playboy, but he doesn't think that he's going to be able to kiss, forget have sex with anybody other than the boy in front of him. Honestly, it amazes Damien how lucky he got to meet Oz.

"You look awesome Oz," Damien can't help being genuine, "If anything you're probably outshining me."

It might be the first time Damien's ever so willingly admitted someone's better than him at something, but when it comes to Oz, humility is much easier. Maybe it's because Damien knows the smaller won't ever use his own words against him or perhaps Damien is just too far gone to care.

"T-Thanks, you look amazing too," Oz still seems nervous and it only makes Damien's chest feel warmer.

"Pft, whatever," Damien scoffs as he fiddles with the forearm pieces, "Slayer has the lamest outfit ever, but even I could make it look somewhat decent."

Before Damien even realizes it, Oz is by his side and grabbing his arm tightly, "This is way too tight, let me fix it."

"Umm, okay, yeah, sure," Damien doesn't know how to respond to Oz's sudden change from nervousness to concern.

With surprising ease, Oz quickly unties the straps on the forearm guards and reties them so that they aren't practically cutting off Damien's circulation. 

"Does that feel better?" Oz asks.

Damien flexes his arm and to his surprise, it does feel much better, "Yeah. Although I would have been fine keeping it the other way."

Oz only shakes his head, "It would have been uncomfortable."

Damien shrugs, "I wouldn't have known the difference if you hadn't fixed it."

Oz only looks more concerned by Damien's statements, "I wish you would have asked me to help you fix your costume. It looks really… tight."

Damien rolls his eyes to try and ease the mood, "What are you? A seamstress or some shit."

Oz pouts, "For your information, I helped Vicky and Amira fix their costumes along with tailoring mine."

"Damn, you know how to sew, cook, and take care of idiots," Damien teases, "You're going to be one hell of trophy wife someday Ozzie."

"I'm not- don't say-" Oz looks flustered and undignified all at once as he tries to think of something to say, "Shut up!"

Damien only laughs at Oz's distress, "What? I'm just telling the truth!"

"You're so- You just- Gah!" Oz grabs Damien's hands and starts tugging him towards the exit, "Just come on, the first period is long over by now and I haven't seen everyone's costumes yet."

"Is this your way of changing the subject from me teasing you about being-"

"COME ON!" Oz says louder than usual, "I haven't seen Miranda, Vera, Polly, Liam, Brian, or Aaravi yet."

"I guess I'm taking that as a yes," Damien deadpans as Oz drags him out into the hallway.

Damien follows behind Oz. The demon couldn't really give a flying fuck what everyone else is wearing. After all, it's not like anybody's costume is going to beat his or Oz's, but the dork seems to have fun complimenting and seeing everyone's costumes so Damien deals. 

The first monsters they run into is Brian and Liam in the library, both looking embarrassed as they sit together. Oz can only assume it's because Liam got Dmitri and had to completely commit to his role. Meaning… he went shirtless. However, overlooking that, the costume is actually pretty amazing. The only thing keeping it from being identical to Dmitri's normal get up is the fact Liam's has a purple color scheme.

Brian's costume is much simpler than Liam's but just as on point. Mostly because Brian just asked Kale for a pair of his clothes to wear. The best part about it in Oz's opinion is that he didn't have to help adjust it, not with Kale and Brian pretty much wearing the same size. 

However, Oz and Damien leave the library before even talking to them because a certain demon can't stop laughing at the poor awkward vampire.

"Damien! Stop laughing! He's your friend!" Oz tries.

"Did you see his hair though?! He had it slicked to the side like some type of fucking angsty teen!" Damien keeps laughing as Oz pushes him down the hall away from the subject of ridicule, "He looked so dead inside! And I thought  _ I _ got a bad pick for costumes!"

"OH! So you admit that your costume is a terrible mockery of my image!" Aaravi literally appears out of nowhere, shocking both Damien and Oz.

Well, it only shocks them both for a minute before Damien bursts into laughter yet again, "HA! You really did trade in your cape and knives to dress up! I didn't think you had it in you Slayer!"

"I can do anything better than a sniveling dipshit like you!" Aaravi suddenly whips out a pair of knives and rushes forward, "Plus, who said I gave up my weapons?!"

Without hesitation, Damien meets Slayer's assault head on with his own pair of daggers. They only get a few clashes before Oz is between them, using his phobias to quickly confiscate the sharp objects like a disapproving mother.

"Please don't fight with knives in your very rippable costumes," Oz pleads, knowing he'll be the one both monsters will go to if they rip something during a tussle.

"Oz…!" Damien and Aaravi whine at the same time.

"You both want to have the best costume right?" Oz waits for both monsters to nod before continuing, "Then you have to not rip and cut them up in knife fights."

"BUT-!" 

"I saw Dahlia leaving a classroom three doors down, I'm sure she's been looking for you," Oz cuts Aaravi off.

"You saw her? Zoe's been dragging her around since school started and I haven't been able to catch up! Thanks for telling me where she got dragged off!" Aaravi freezes when she realizes Damien's still watching this conversation amusedly, "DON'T THINK YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK BASTARD! WE'LL CONTINUE THIS LATER WHEN I HAVE MY OTHER PARTY MEMBER WITH ME!"

And just like that, Aaravi is running away.

"Well that was entertaining!" Oz turns to see Miranda clapping next to Polly, "I do love watching a good knife fight! Although usually when my serfs partake in them it's to the death…"

Miranda's costume is the perfect mashing of Interdimesional inspiration and her own style. The blue and pink trim on the slightly higher than the knee dress showcases the Prince's color scheme while keeping it to Miranda's regular clothing tastes. The accessories weren't anything to scoff at either. The tiny pastel blue cape tied around her neck, the white gloves, high socks, boots, and tiny crown headband really bring the collection to life. Oz has half the nerve to figure out which one of Miranda's serfs made the thing and compliment them on their work. 

"As much as I like watching fights," Amira rolls her eyes, "I'm glad you didn't just start brawling. Valerie would be pissed at me if I got blood on her favourite outfit."

Vera really went all in as dressing as her sister. She got the edgy part down excellently. Oz thought the gorgon would get the spiked choker on her neck and ripped jeans before calling it quits, but she didn't. Vera got the sleeveless crop half jacket, labeled shirt, and even went as far as fake ears and a tail.

"YO! Oz! Damien! You ready for the fucking blowout of a party I have planned?!" Polly shouts, "We are going to bash so hard that the goddess of parties herself is going to feel terrible about not being invited!" 

Polly's costume definitely isn't mind blowing, but it is pretty good. She's got a white T-shirt, blue jogging pants, red and white sneakers, a whistle, sweatbands, fake tiger ears with a matching tail, and even some marker stripes drawn all over her body.

"God, when aren't you talking about your stupid party," Vera scowls, "It's all you've been talking about today, and nobody even knows where it's at yet."

"Boo! Don't rain on my parade!" Polly pouts, "You just don't want to admit you're excited!"

"I am not excited," Vera hisses, "I just don't like being uninformed."

"I would also like to know when this event is taking place," Miranda pipes up, "Because I don't know where it's at. I'll repeat that, I do not have a clue where the party is at."

"...do you know where the party's at Miranda?" Vera looks at Miranda with a neutral expression.

"What?! I just told you that I know no such thing!" Miranda pouts, "Do you think I'm lying?"

"Pft! Like Miranda would know where my party's at!" Polly laughs, "Liam and I kept it SECRET! A S-E-C-R-E-A-T!"

"That's not how you spell secret," Oz cuts in quickly before changing the subject, "All of your costumes look great. Did you make yours yourself Polly?"

"My costume?! Of course I made it myself!" Polly grins, "I walked down to home ec, flirted with some students, found the one who makes the best clothes, and slept with him in exchange for a killer costume!"

"Polly, that is disgusting," Vera scowls, "None of us wanted to know that."

"That's only because you want in someone else's bed," Polly sticks her tongue out.

Vera rolls her eyes and starts walking away, "I'm done here. Text me when you finally want to tell everyone where the party's at."

"Yes, please text me also Polly," Miranda smiles, "Because I most definitely didn't have one of my serfs stalk you to the party location before reporting back to me."

"Of course you wouldn't do that! That would be silly  _ and  _ ruin the mystery!" Polly giggles.

Damien sends Oz an unimpressed look and he just laughs awkwardly while shrugging, "Yeah, it would ruin something alright. Hey Polly, when  _ are _ you going to send out the invites?"

"Huh?" Polly looks at Oz with something akin to confusion, "I haven't already sent those out? Oops."

"Vera was literally just telling you about that," Damien scowls, "How fucking high are you right now Polly?"

"Uhhhh, on a scale of one to ten…" Polly looks thoughtful, "Negative two!"

"Shit, she's bad," Damien groans.

"Polly, get your brian back together for a few seconds and send everyone where and when the party's at," Oz tries, "If you don't tell anybody soon, no one will show up."

"Nobody'll show up!?" Polly gasps, "But that would make my party lame! And only lame people throw lame parties! SHIT! I've got to go send those texts!"

Polly whips out her phone and rushes away while typing frantically and murmuring about not being boring. Miranda doesn't even say anything as she slowly backs away from Damien and Oz, followed by her serfs.

"This party is either going to be the best Halloween ever…" Damien starts.

"Or it's going to be a trainwreck," Oz nods while finishing Damien's thought.

Well, with that last note, the rest of Halloween goes by peacefully for all those attending Spooky High. The day goes by quickly, the party is over and done with before they know it, and Halloween is overall boring that year…

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


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**_SIKE!_ **

The rest of the  _ school  _ day turns into utter chaos the moment Polly sends out the location and time of her HALLOWEEN BASH! The halls get flooded with excited monsters and gossip runs rampant as everyone freaks out about the final reveal. The party isn't getting hosted from a run down cemetery, old hospital, or any of the crummy places Polly usually sets her parties at. No, apparently, they rented the largest and spookiest pumpkin field in a country wide radius. A pumpkin field that is known to have dead bodies show up with their heads replaced by pumpkins every year. A pumpkin field that at least a dozen teenage bodies have been found dumped in. A pumpkin field perfect for a Polly brand blow out!

Truthfully, Oz is almost certain Liam's the one that picked out the venue, but since the vampire isn't taking credit for it, Oz'll leave him be. The incarnation of fear is much more focused on the fact his friends all decided to wait for the event afterschool at his house. Did Oz invite them over? No. Did his roommate/little sister figure? Of course she did, because why not.

As everyone except of Dmitri, Liam, Polly, and the Interdimensional Prince prance around his house, Oz wonders how much of a mess he's going to have to clean up once Scott, Dahlia, and Amira finish their chip eating contest that leaves more food on the floor and the couch than in their mouths.

"GO, GO, GO!" Vicky cheers on Scott as he stuffs another handful of pringles down his throat, "YOU CAN WIN!"

"No, you can't," Vera hisses , "Amira made me bet money on her winning. You will not make me lose fifty bucks! Amira, shove those highly caloric crisps down your gullet like your life depends on it, because it does!"

"That's what you get for picking favorites i stead of looking at things logically sis," Valerie leans back in against the arm of the couch and shares a fist bump with Kale, "Scott's going to win and that cash'll be ours.

Kale nods as Aaravi stands up and points blade at the sky, "YOU ALL ARE FORGETTING THAT DAHLIA AQUINO IS THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR! SHE WILL LEAVE ALL OF YOU IN THE DUST AND THEN MUTILATE YOUR CORPSES!"

"FYEAH! Corphes!" Dahlia takes a moment from her gorging to pump a similar fist in the air as Aaravi.

"Please don't choke and make me perform the heimlich maneuver," Oz begs the participants.

"I agree with Oz," Brian adds, "Please don't die because you ate chips too fast."

"Shh!" Miranda looks up from her seat as she pets a sleeping Dorothy in her lap, "You might wake the precious baby!"

"Dorothy is the farthest thing from a baby you could get," Damien rolls his eyes and scowls, "She is a badass feline with a thirst for blood, treat her with some respect!"

"But even strong warriors need love!" Blobert makes his way towards Miranda and makes a slime arm form to pet the purring alien.

"Whatever! Just don't make her upset because she will swallow you whole!" Damien warns and threatens.

"Just keep that thing away from us," The Coven replies in sync.

"Cats are always associated with witches," Hope frowns.

"If we get seen with a cat..." Joy continues

"People will definitely go berserk about it and try to get us to make it out pet," Faith finishes.

"HEY!" Zoe pops up out from behind the couch, "I'm not a cat! Make me your new partner in crime! I promise it'll be fun!"

There's a loud crashing sound from the kitchen. A few of the monsters present glance in the room's direction, but don't get up to check it out. Oz on the other hand, has a lot of expensive equipment in the kitchen, and runs as fast as possible to make sure his fridge hasn't been thrown out the window again. Don't ask about the first time it happened, Oz doesn't want to talk about it.

To Oz's relief, the fridge is still where it's supposed to be at. However, everything else has been strewn about and wrecked by the wolfpack. Flour all over the floor, eggs on the walls, and it's just a complete mess. Oz accepts that he's going to have to use Dorothy to clean the house up in the coming day and sighs.

"GUYS!" All the members of the wolf pack look up at Oz with the same set of deer in the headlights looks, "What did Vicky tell you about being allowed in my house?"

The leader of the pack steps up to Oz and tries to look menacing, "You don't get to tell us what to do nerd! Now go back in the-"

"VICKY!" Oz shouts out towards the living room, "The wolf pack's in the kitchen destroying stuff!"

It only takes a few seconds for him to hear the girl's response, "IF YOU ALL DON'T GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW AND OUT OF OZ'S KITCHEN I WILL TELL COUCH YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE CHEW TOYS AFTER PRACTICE!"

"Sorry Vicky! We're coming! Not our chew toys! We won't do it again!" All the wolves rush out the door Oz is holding open for them.

Right as Oz is about to head back out into the fray of teenagers in his living a robotic voice stops him, "I must apologize friend Oz. I was unable to stop them from ruining your kitchen and respect your wishes as a host."

Oz sighs and shrugs at Calculester, "It's fine… I have to clean up messes like this all the time anyways. It's not that bad. You should head back out with the others though before you get something on your costume before the party and Zoe gets mad."

"Ah, I will take your wise advice friend Oz," Calulester steps out of the kitchen and towards the living room with Oz following right behind only to see Vera laughing cockily and Amira holding her stomach with a grimace.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," The gorgan smirks at Valerie, Vicky Kale, and Aaravi, "It's time to pay up... unless you want to owe me?"

The four monsters all hand Vera differing amounts of cash. Vera counts it quickly and then hands some of it to a miserable looking Amira.

"Thanks Ver," Amira grabs the cash and sits up straight with a moan.

"I don't get it!" Vicky shouts, "How can you eat faster than both a demon and a werewolf?!"

"Magic…" Amira does sarcastic jazz hands before instantly regretting it and reaching back down to hold her stomach again.

"You know you're going to feel bad all night now right?" Brian raises an eyebrow at Amira who only nods in response.

Oz checks his watch again to see if he can finally get rid of the unwanted guests in his home. Miranda's schedule serf beats him to it though as the penguin waddles up to Miranda and whispers something in her ear. The prince smiles, delicately moves Dorothy from her lap, and announces the time.

"Dear friends," Miranda starts, "It is the time that we should all be going to the party Polly and Liam so generously planned for us. Let us be on our way before we're late!"

The room goes silent for a minute as everyone checks their own watches, phones, and other time telling devices to check the statement. Most quickly see that she's correct and then promptly turn to Oz.

Yeah, at this point Oz has just become a personal taxi service like he originally feared. It's not that bad though, most people stopped asking him for rides after he sent them through six consecutive shadows till they puked. Look, it might be mean, but it's also rude to ask someone for a random ride to the other side of the school when their legs work perfectly fine.

"Is everybody ready to go?" Oz sighs.

Nobody speaks up so Oz carefully… drops everyone in the room into their own shadows at once with no warning. They might be a little dazed and confused when they pop back out in a pumpkin field so suddenly, but Oz is sure they'll be fine. If most of them can survive consecutive concussions and eight drug combos at the same time, he's sure a little shadow hopping won't kill them. Once everyone's gone and his house is empty, Oz takes a moment to crouch down and pet Dorothy.

"Zoe and I'll be back later okay?" Oz coos, "You're the head of the house while we're gone. If you want to clean up the mess in the kitchen be my guest, but please don't inhale anymore of Zoe's drawings. Y'know how she gets."

Dorothy meows in response to Oz and the inky monster pets her again before standing up and pulling out his phone to double check the exact coordinates Liam gave him. Thanks to Brian telling Liam about how exact Oz shadow hopping abilities are, the vampire went through the extra trouble of finding the exact location of the party on online maps. After double checking, Oz sinks into his shadow and then deposits everyone in the void as quickly as possible to the pumpkin patch party a few cities over to avoid awkward small chat in the empty nothingness of space.

Before anybody has the chance to yell at Oz for the abrupt change in setting, they all look around in awe. The field of pumpkins went everywhere as far as the eyes could see except for a large area that had been cleared. Tall wooden poles with purple and orange fairy lights surround the clearing so despite the clouds blocking the stars in the sky the area is still well lit. Inside the giant clearing sits Polly's familiar DJ booth, snack tables, and it looks like Liam even set up a giant old school projector to play horror movies. Oz might be imagining things, but it also looks like Liam and Polly stole the Jack-O-Lanterns from the pumpkin carving contest and used them as decorations too. Some of the less popular monsters of Spooky High are already chatting and walking around, but without Polly's music and the projector going things seem pretty stagnant. Oz can't help thinking that's why people don't show up for parties early.

"GUYS! YOU'RE HERE!" Polly flies into the groups of monsters screaming, "THIS IS AWESOME RIGHT?! WHO AM I KIDDING, OF COURSE UT LOOKS AWESOME!"

"It's about time you showed up," Liam rolls his eyes as he walks up to the group much slower.

"We're on time," Vera rolls her eyes, "That's already a miracle for most of the monsters here. Don't push your luck."

"Luck Smuck!" Polly waves off Vera's remark, "Liam, set up the projector and I'll hit the booth! LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!"

Polly flies to the booth with super ghost speed and Liam makes his way over to the projector followed by Brian. Everyone else starts to disperse, although most monsters make their way directly to the dance floor or the snack table that just so happened to also have booze on it. Amira, Vicky, and Scott look especially excited for the music to get started. Polly, not one to disappoint, starts the night off with a remix of a song called Spooky Scary Skeletons that has everyone on the dance floor going wild.

Once making sure all his friends are off having a good time, Oz makes his way towards the area between the projector and the snack table where he intends to spend the whole night. Well, he makes it about halfway there before Damien catches up to him and grabs him by the arm.

"Nope," Is all Damien says as he drags Oz towards the ever growing mass of dancing monsters, "You are not going to spend the whole night practically dedicated to you next to the snack table. You're dancing with me."

"Damien, I'm not a good d-dancer," Oz stammers, trying to keep from getting pulled forward, "I'll embarrass myself…"

"Everyone here is embarrassing themselves to hell and back already you dork," Damien rolls his eyes, "Plus, do you think half the people out there are good dancers? Most of those noobs just pick one lame ass move and do it over and over again."

"Damien… I need to be ready if-"

"It'll be fine," Damien tugs Oz into the fray of dancers and music, "Just forget about all the crap running through your head and come with me? ...Please?"

Oz's resolve fades the moment the last word comes out of Damien's mouth, "...O-Okay…"

"Finally," Damien smirks at Oz.

Oz doesn't quite know what to do when it comes to dancing, so he just kind of bops to the beat and watches Damien dance. The demon dances like he does most things in life, recklessly and hard. Not to say he's bad because he's actually amazing to watch, but it's a genuine surprise to Oz that he doesn't knock anybody out with his limbs flying everywhere. Truthfully, despite all of Oz's misgivings, he has a good time dancing with Damien. Hell, he even dabs at some point, which amuses Damien to no end.

"Did you seriously just do what I fucking think you did?!" Damien stops dancing to laugh.

"Don't be a jerk," Oz blushes and punche Damien in the arm, "I only know like three dance moves!"

"Pft, whatever," Damien rolls his eyes, but Oz can clearly see him smiling.

After a while though, Oz starts to get anxious again as the crowd gets thicker and his personal space becomes almost nonexistent. While Oz is trying to pretend he's still having a good time, Damien picks up on the mood change easily and takes action.

"Hey, I think I saw Slayer and the blueberry bitch make their way towards the alcohol," Damien casually grabs Oz's hand and leads him out of the mass of bodies, "How angry do you think Dahlia'd be if I smashed a pumpkin over her head?"

"Damien, no," Oz pleads, "You cannot smash a pumpkin over her head. They've been leaving us alone. Do you want to start a fight?"

Damien pauses for just a moment to stare Oz down lamely.

"Okay, I knew it was a stupid question the moment it came out, but you don't have to look at me like that."

Damien rolls his eyes without responding and continues to guide Oz out of the crowd. Polly's still rocking the DJ table with a mix of hip-hop, Halloween, and rap songs. Oz looks to the nearby table and is majorly relieved to find no Dahlia or Slayer in sight.

"Well, it looks like neither of your sworn enemies are over here. You'll have to find someone else to bash over the head with a pumpkin," Oz backtracks immediately after the first words are out of his mouth, "O-Or you could just not hit someone over the head with anything."

"What other good are Jack-O-Lanterns for? It's not like they actually scare away spirits and all that crap they're supposed to," Damien jerks his thumb to point at a group of teenage wraiths trying to wear the guards like helmets, "I mean who came up with that bullshit. It's so fucking dumb."

"I don't know why people ever thought a pumpkin with some eyes in it would keep away ghosts," Oz sighs, "Well, I actually do, but it's really stupid and it might have well have been made up."

"You can't just say shit like that and  _ not _ go into details," Damien let's go of Oz's hand as they finally exit the crowd and crosses his arms before turning back to Oz, "Hearing about stupid people doing shit is pretty much my taste in comedy."

"It's kind of a long, weird, and maybe offensive to your ancestors kind of story," Oz looks hesitant to fulfill Damien's wishes.

"That sounds like my kinda story," Damien smirks.

"...Okay fine I'll tell you the story," Oz reluctantly continues, "A couple hundred years ago, in I think… Leitrim Ireland, there was this shapeshifting demon that tried to steal a drunk man's soul."

"I still don't know why all those old geezers were so obsessed with souls stealing," Damien cuts in, "I tried it once, and once you get the crap from somebody it just kinda sets around and does nothing like a glorified paper weight."

"...I don't want to know so I'm not going to ask," Oz shakes his head at Damien before continuing his story, "As I was saying, the drunk guy figures that there's a red person in front of me with horns and a tail, it must be-"

"Saten?" Damien scoffs, finishing Oz's sentence, "They always think it's that loser. I don't know why, he's just a dick with a title. He doesn't even do anything cool."

"Agreed," Oz nods at Damien, remembering the few times Oz has come into contact with the douchebag, "But anyways, the drunk man instead of begging for his life decides he just wants to drink some more alcohol before he dies. The demon for some reason agrees and walks the guy to a pub. The guy drinks until he's about to drop and then tells the demon that he's broke and demands he foots the bill by transforming into a silver coin he can give the bartender."

"Don't tell the stupid fucker agreed," Damien looks amused just at the thought somebody would be dumb enough to turn into a coin and get trapped in a drawer or something.

Oz nods, "The idiot demon turns into a coin and the drunk man just pockets him with his crucifix instead of paying and books it. Of course the demon in his pocket is stuck as a coin until the cross is removed, so the now less drunk guy makes a deal that if the demon leaves him alone for ten years he'll let him out. The demon agrees because he obviously doesn't want to be a coin for the rest of his life, and the moment he's let out he goes back to Hell to live his life however he wants until the ten years are up and he can get his revenge. Those ten years go by pretty fast and that same stupid demon comes back to the drunk man and finds him sitting under an apple tree, drunk yet again. So instead of just killing the man he decides to have another shot at his soul and plays the whole I'm Satan act again. The drunk man asks for one last thing before he dies again, and tells the demon he wants an apple from the apple tree he's sitting under before he dies. The demon agrees and climbs the tree while the drunk man yanks out a pocket knife and carves a cross in the tree, keeping the demon trapped in the branches. This time, the guy says he won't let the demon down unless his soul wouldn't ever be taken into Hell."

"So fucking stupud," Damien scoffs.

"The demon agrees again and gets out of the tree before heading back to Hell in a funk," Oz starts finishing up the story, "Not a week later and the guy who tricked the demon dies of alcohol poisoning and gets turned into a wandering spirit because he wasn't allowed in Hell and Heaven certainly wasn't giving him entrance. The just newly turned ghost doesn't know what to do with his new existence so he grabs a coal and a hollowed out rutabaga from and makes a lantern so he can travel. As he traveled, people saw his makeshift light and instantly thought it was the key in keeping him away. Therefore, Jack-O'-Lanterns were created."

"You're telling me that carving faces into pumpkins comes from a drunko tricking a demon, getting banished from heaven, and making a horrible flashlight!?" Damien snorts, "That is fucking priceless! He got so drunk he created a tradition!"

"He didn't really create it as much as he accidentally caused it," Oz glances at Damien, "But I see where you're coming from."

With Oz successfully removed from the dance floor and properly distracted Damien feels like he's completed his mission and just listens to Oz talk peacefully, adding comments sporadically through his stories. The whole just talking and relaxing thing has always felt foregin to the demon with a love of violence, but it just happens so naturally around Oz. 

People come and go as the two monsters chat. Some say hi and talk a little, others just wave before going on their way. The party starts to calm down a bit too. It's kinda like how a wave starts gigantus and then slowly mellows out over time. Damien's sure the big show will be starting soon, but for now he doesn't mind.

"...Damien," Oz abruptly stops talking about the time three teenage ghosts and a witch haunted an old rich man, sounding shocked.

"What? Is it time!?" Damien looks at Oz in concern to find that he's blushing and his phobias are going berserk on his shoulders, squeaking and pointing. 

Without waiting for a response from the incarnation of fear, Damien's head whips in the direction of their points with a glare. Damien thought he was prepared for anything. He was wrong. The moment the demon spots the center of the commotion, Damien's eyes blow wide. Away from the crowd and any other onlookers except Oz and Damien, Dahlia and Aaravi are kissing.

Damien's gut reaction is to shout holy shit, but Oz predicted the demon's reaction and already has a hand over his mouth. Quickly, Oz silences his phobias as well and starts pushing Damien to the other side of the pumpkin patch clearing.

"They might let me off the hook because you're my friend, but there is no way they are letting you live if they knew you saw them kiss," Oz explains in a whisper, despite only talking to Damien.

"They were- does that mean- Slayer and-" Damien stops and suddenly his voice lowers to whisper, "Are those two idiots dating now?!"

Oz is blushing again, "I-I don't know! That might have been their first kiss… o-or they've been keeping it a secret from everyone! Although I think Zoe would know about it if they were just keeping a secret-"

As Oz nervously rambles, Damien can't help thinking that retrospect is 20/20. It was obvious the two monsters like each other with how often they spent around each other and acted like a couple, but Damien just thought the next two people to be dating at Spooky High would be… someone else. Hint, he thought it was going to be him and Oz. 

A little green weed of jealousy curls around Damien's gut. Why do they get to be a happy couple when Damien keeps getting rejected by the universe's grand plan?! However, just as the toxic emotion springs forth, Damien kills it. If it takes him ten years to ask Oz out it'll be worth it if he says yes.

"Jeez, what do I do about Zoe if she doesn't know," Oz is still panicking, "If I tell her she might let it slip they're dating, but if I don't tell her she won't talk to me for months."

"Chill Oz," Damien mutes his internal thoughts to calm things down, "Zoe's literally been stalking them right? She's probably under the snack table videoing them right now."

"...I don't know if that's supposed to make me feel worse or better."

"That pissy roommate of yours can sniff out sexual tension like a pig sniffs truffles," Damien huffs, "It means that you don't have to tell her because she'll be finding out by tomorrow morning."

"Yeah," Oz sighs, "You're right. I just can't believe the two of them finally got together. Maybe that means they'll stop inviting Kale, Valarie, and me to be third wheels."

"Yeah, maybe, whatever," Damien shrugs. 

The both stay silent for a few awkward moments before Oz speaks up, "I wonder where Miranda is right now?"

As if Oz's words were the trigger, all the fairy lights, projector, and jack-O'-lanterns in the clearing go out and everyone's left in the pitch black except some of the nocturnal monsters.

"HEY! WHO TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS?!" Polly shouts, "WE NEED THEM TO PARTY!

"This wasn't Polly's idea?"

"What's going on?"

"Do you think it's the people who left dead bodies in this field?"

"Of course not!"

"Maybe…"

"It totally is!"

"Are we all going to die?!"

"I'm already dead, I can't die again!"

"Good for you, the rest of us are screwed!"

"Everyone! Calm down!" Amira shouts over the panicked murmurs, her flaming hair the only light in the otherwise dark night, "It's probably just the breakers or something. Liam will go check them."

"Why me?!" Liam shouts from the darkness.

"Because you're the only one who knows where they're at!" Vera snarks from somewhere near Amira.

There's no reply as shuffling is heard in the clearing before light cascades over the scared monsters present. Liam was smart enough to use the light on his phone.

"Fine, I'll go check," Liam doesn't look happy, "Brian, would you come with me. The metal door is jammed and I can't pry it open by myself."

"Sure," Brian shrugs and follows after Liam.

"Oh, our phones!"

"Jeez, why were we panicking?"

"Why didn't we just get them out in the first place… where's my phone?"

"I can't find my phone either!"

"MINE EITHER!" 

"Ohh, this is some type of horror movie shit…"

Just as the crowd of monsters in the dark start to panic, a girly screech pierces the air that could only be a soprano church chore girl or an extremely frightened vampire. Before anyone can investigate the noise, the projector turns on by itself and static buzzes through through the camera and in the air. 

Everyone can see each other once again along with some other concerning things. In the few minutes of darkness, all the nearby pumpkins and Jack-O'Lanterns had been smashed open and the tables overturned and wrecked.

"Liam? Brian? Did you turn back on the light?!" Scott's hiding behind Vicky, shaking like a leaf.

Everyone goes quiet, waiting for a reply. When nothing comes, everyone in the trades concerned glances. 

"Shouldn't somebody go look for them?" Vicky asks nervously.

"I'll go," Dmitri steps forward, "Whomever decided to wreck this party must be of the dark side and I am most well acquainted-"

The projector's static kicks up louder and the screen starts counting down from sixty seconds. 

"It's counting down from a minute!"

"Oh, this is horrible…"

"What should we do?!"

"I can't call for help without my phone!"

"What do the numbers mean?!"

"IT'S MEANS RUN! THAT'S WHAT!"

At the last random student's words, a mass of people start to book it out of the clearing only to freeze in place when they see that a group of over one hundred scarecrows have blocked the way to freedom. Each one has human eyes and shark-like teeth. Their heads are covered in a red substance that looks much like blood.

"Well that's not concerning at all!" Amira shouts, "Not one fucking bit!"

At this point the clock has ticked down to thirty seconds and everyone is really panicking. One brave goblin decides to say fuck it and attempt to run through the sea of scarecrows. He breaks through the first line and gets out of everyone's sight when a terrified scream of begging pierces the air before silence.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I am not dying in a pumpkin patch surrounded by a bunch of wasted cheerleaders!" Valerie shouts before rushing over to the Coven, "You guys! Use your magic to get us out of here or something! You can do that right?!"

"Of course!" Hope smiles.

"But it would take more time than we have," Faith frowns.

"Just do it!" Valerie shouts, "A chance is better than nothing!"

"Okay then," Joy rings her hands out and starts chanting something incomprehensible under her breath before furrowing her eyes in confusion, "...It's not working? Girls, are you having the same problem?"

"We must be in a dead magic zone," Faith frowns, sounding a little alarmed.

"This is terrible," Hope adds.

"Shit! OZ!" Valerie whirls around as the seconds get closer to zero by the minute, "Teleport us!"

Oz frowns and looks down at the ground, "I-I can't. S-Something's disconnected me from the shadows…"

"I cannot open my Interdimensional portals either!" The Interdimensional Prince wails, "Is this the end for me and my beautiful face?! It can't be! I haven't even gotten married yet!"

"Damn it!" Valerie stomps her foot, looking desperate, "Maybe we can-"

"Friends and fellow students," Calculester's voice cuts Valerie off, "Look at the old video playing device. It has reached zero!"

Sure enough, everyone looks up to see a giant zer displayed on the screen. Everyone freezes and looks around frantically to see if the scarecrows have changed positions at all. The silence is tense and everyone's on guard.

"Maybe this was all just some big-" Kale gets cut off as the projector practically starts screeching horrible noises.

Static, screams, and growls all play over each other to create a loud horrifying noise that makes everyone one jump, including the scarecrows that start surging forwards. Screams ring out as some of the straw men converge on the group of teenagers. Some students fall backwards while trying to get away and get lost to the scare crows.

"Step back or I'll burn you all to a crisp!" Amira shouts into the fray.

"I'm slit your throats!" Aaravi threatens.

"I'll bust your straw filled heads!" Dahlia adds.

Just before all of the monsters in the circle are overwhelmed by the egregious amount of crazed scarecrows, regal laughter fills the air and all the straw men stop.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha! Who's scary now!" The crowd of scarecrows split for Miranda to walk forward gracefully, her tiny blue cape floating in the wind behind her.

"Miranda!" Scott and a couple other monsters shouts.

The princess ignores the shocked gasps of her name and steps up to a certain shell shocked ghost,"I told you I could terrify people Polly, but did you believe me? No! It's fine though because I got my revenge just like daddy always taught me to!"

"This was all you?! You scared the ever loving shit out of-" Vera realizes she's yelling and schools her expressions, "...some people."

"I know dearest friends!" Miranda grins, "That was my plan! Now listen to my amazing exploits and grovel! I had my serfs follow Polly to this location long before they released the date and had them all make these amazing costumes! While the party was going on even more of them infiltrated your partying and stole your phones along with attaching magic blockers to any of you who posed a threat to my plan!"

"Magic blockers!?" The Coven shouts at once before looking all over themselves.

"Found it!" Hope is the first one to call out as she peels a tiny cat sticker off the back of her dress.

"Magic blocking stickers?!" Joy finds a smiling sunflower on the back of hers, "Where did you get these?!"

"How embarrassing that we were stopped by such tiny items," Faith has a tiny heart sticker on the bottom of her shoe somehow.

"My goodness, they're right!" The Interdimensional Prince pulls a small puppy sticker that says 'I ruff you' off his turtle backpack.

"Such malevolence," Dmotri finds a tiny star with a smiley face in his costume hoodie, "Please will you join the dark side with me Miranda?!"

"No! I'm not done gloating yet!" Miranda pouts and her cheeks pull out menacingly, "Once all that was done I sent my technical serf out to turn all the power off so my others could wreck the party and get into position."

"What about Liam and Brian!?" Scott shouts, concerned.

"We're fine," Brian pops out from the crowd with a very annoyed vampire at his side and a tiny goblin looking severely traumatized, "Miranda pretty much just stopped us from turning the lights back on, explaining that she was going to scare everyone."

"Oh, yes," Miranda continues, "I was going to get revenge on Liam too for not believing me to be terrifying, but he screamed so loudly when I popped out of the darkness that I couldn't help pitying him."

Liam turns red, "It was a normal volume scream and you surprised me!"

"Yes, yes, yes," Miranda waves Liam's statement off before clapping her hands, "Serfs! Reveal yourselves!"

All the scarecrows pull off their masks to reveal merpeople with shark teeth. Most of them don't look that happy to be around Miranda, but when do they.

"Hand back out everyone's phones please friends!" Miranda commands, and the serfs start forward, handing out all the phones they stole.

Everyone present forgets about how indescribably terrified they were a few moments ago in favor of looking for their lives in a box. Miranda takes the distraction to make her way over to Oz and Damien, who didn't have their phones stolen in the first place.

"Damien! Oz! How was the show? Did everyone truly see how blood chilling I can be?" Miranda's expression could only be described as sadistic.

"Mira, you know I would never think you less of a bloodthirsty monster in a cute costume," Damien rolls his eyes, "I mean, this was fucking fun as Hell to watch play out since Ozzie told me about it, but you didn't really have to do it."

"But it was fun!" Miranda pouts, "I liked seeing everyone fear for their lives under my loyal servants hands."

"I'm just glad everything worked out," Oz's cheeks tilt up in pseudo-smile, "I know how upset you would have been if things went wrong. Especially with how upset you were in the bathroom."

"Ah yes, I was pretty torn up," Miranda smiles, "I still wish to thank you for your excellent advice and plan. The count down truly made things magical."

"N-No! It was your amazing idea of using real blood on the costumes that really made things perfect," Oz counters.

As Damien watches the two seemingly harmless monsters banter about blood and gore, he's thankful he got alerted of the scare tonight. If he hadn't, who knows what they would have done to him to keep him in line during this little fiasco.

"Y-You better be going back to the crowd soon Miranda," Oz advises, "I don't want anybody to know I helped you. This is your spotlight after all."

"Oh! Your right as always!" Miranda grins, "I'll must be heading back to my subjects! May I get in contact with you again if I ever need more help in your area of expertise?"

"Of course Miranda," Oz laughs, "I'll always be happy to help you pull off a good scare."

Miranda smiles and skips back towards the monsters just getting their phones back. Damien watches the princess go before turning to Oz with a stare.

"Sometimes I forget you're literally older than time and have the expertise to scare a grown man shitless," Is all Damien says.

Oz laughs, "I'll take that as a compliment from you."

"Good, it was one," Damien smiles, "Hey, the parties fucking wrecked at this point, you want to come with me and scare the hell out of some tricker treaters and steal their candy?"

"Didn't you literally make fun of your dad for the exact same thing," Oz's eyebrows furrow.

"Pft, they're adults, so it's weird," Damien scoffs, "We're teenagers so it's fine. You in or not?"

"I can't stop you from going, so I guess I can at least supervise you," Oz shakes his head fondly as they make a break from the party.

They disappear just before Zoe calls after them, "WAIT! YOU'RE OUR RIDE HOME OZ! YOU CAN'T JUST… and they're gone.... Welp, that's a problem."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was around forty thousand words right? Can you believe that I wrote that?! Because I sure can't! It took me such a while to get that done that I won't be posting again for about two weeks to catch up with my other stuff. Don't worry though, I KNOW I'll be back to posting every five days on November 15th.


	42. Cults? WHAT?! STOP!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oz curses Zoe with every fiber of his being. Also known as: Oz goes through the five stages of grief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FANART ALERT! FANART ALERT! FANART ALERT!
> 
> https://goulishboss.tumblr.com/post/633900567297687552/for-tetereres-i-just-wanted-to-by-my-friends
> 
> Go check it out! It's by Ghoulish Boss and it's preeeeeetty cool.

"You're what?!" Oz barely keeps himself from dropping the bowl in his hands.

"I'm moving out," Zoe smiles and throws her hands up in the air.

"I know what you said!" Oz stops washing the dishes in the sink from Zoe's instant raman binges to stare, "I want to know where you plan on moving?! How are you going to pay for it?! Are you moving in with somebody?! If so, who?! You're not joking right?! Seriously, if you're joking right now I  will  strangle you."

"Woah! Calm down!" Zoe laughs, "Sometimes I literally think you are my brother with how much you worry!"

"Well, I wouldn't worry so much if you weren't insane," Oz exclaims, "You come up with so many hair brained schemes to get people together that I've quite literally considered hiding a tracker on you just in case somebody sends you to another dimension."

"Jeez, you make me sound like an irresponsible teenager," Zoe pouts, "I'm like three eons old Oz!"

"You might be, but you're still going to high school and act like a teenager, so that's what you are," Oz puts his hand on his hip, "Now back to the subject at hand. What do you mean when you say you're  moving ?"

"Exactly what I said!" Vicky hops up on Oz's kitchen counter to sit, "I feel bad about bumming off of you for so long, so I found myself a place of my own."

"...Refer to my earlier questions," Oz deadpans.

"Ugh! Fine, let me think. You asked about where right? Well, it's this awesome house like twenty minutes away that's on the top of a building with free access to the roof-"

"A penthouse?!" Oz gasps, "How the hell are you going to pay for that?!"

"I was getting to that!" Zoe frowns at Oz before continuing, "Remember when you were busy helping Damien 'study' for school and ended up sleeping for the first time?"

How could Oz forget? He had never even tried sleeping. Heck, he didn't even know if he could sleep before that. Oz never tried since the whole thing just seemed like a way to not be productive with him not absolutely needing it. Not to mention that the only reason it happened is because Oz got hit with a spell that made him feel like he was freezing to death. If that's what it's like to get sick, Oz doesn't know how mortals can deal with it. Oh, and don't forget the mortifying fact that Oz pretty much passed out on Damien and woke up in his jacket. A jacket, that Oz has yet to give back.

From the instant blush on Oz's face, Zoe infers that he certainly does remember, "Well, I told you that I was leaving to talk to some old friends right?"

"Yeah?" Oz's embarrassment fades to confusion, "But I thought you were just lying. I mean, you were literally spying on me from outside the window."

"That's because the meeting didn't take as long as I thought it would," Zoe laughs, "You see, before I was imprisoned I was the dark lord of destruction."

"I know Zoe," Oz deadpans.

"Ignoring rude comments," Zoe continues, "Being the lord of an entire realm gleams worshippers, those worshippers pass down their stories and traditions, then those traditions turn to a kind of guideline of life, and finally they turn into-"

"A cult. You're saying you have a cult," Oz facepalms, "You went to go talk to your cult…"

"Yep!" Zoe smiles, "And considering they've been looking for the book to free me the last one hundred years while preparing monetary offerings, I'm practically a millionaire at this point!"

"Wait, are you moving in  with the cult or are you using their money to pay for a penthouse?" Oz looks up questioningly.

"Eh? Does it matter?" Zoe frowns.

"...I am not letting you move in with a cult Zoe. That is just not gonna happen."

"Pft! The look on your face!" Zoe bursts into laughter, "I was totally joking! There is no way I'd move in with those creepozoids! They called me lord Z'Gord and tried to offer virgin's blood. It was gross…"

"Sheesh, are you sure you want to use their money," Oz voices his concern, "What if they try to break into your house or something?"

"They wouldn't do that," Zoe laughs.

"Why not?" 

"Because I'd castrate them and make them an example to the rest," Zoe giggles, "What else?"

"Are you sure you want to go through with this? I mean, it won't be difficult to move all your stuff, and Dorothy can teleport so it's not you won't see her, but still. You don't have to move out if it's just because you feel like you're intruding."

"Aww! Is somebody gonna miss me?!" Zoe teases.

"Yes," Oz doesn't even hesitate despite knowing Zoe's just teasing.

"Oh," Zoe seems taken back by Oz's genuine response.

"I know you tease about it alot, but you pretty much are a little sister to me," Oz admits, "I like having you around."

"Oz…" Zoe rushes forward and throws her arms around her roommate, "You're gonna make me cry! Stop it!"

Oz wraps his arms around Zoe and laughs, "I'm just telling you the truth."

"I'm gonna miss you too!" Zoe cries, "But I'll be right down the street and you'll be fine by yourself right?"

"I will," Oz nods as Zoe tightens her grip around his neck, "I'm more worried about how you're going to do."

"Of course you are!" Zoe laughs, pulling away and wiping her eyes, "I'll be fine too! Don't you worry! As long as I have my phone and art I'll make it through!"

"I'm sure you will," Oz says softly.

Both monsters stay silent in the kitchen, soaking in the fact that things are going to be changing pretty soon. After a few minutes of the quiet, Oz turns back to washing the dishes.

"So, you have a cult huh? That must be horrible," Oz breaks the sincere tension with a joke.

"You have no idea," Zoe sighs, "They kept trying to get me to bless their children with endless nightmares and to have sex with them. It was flattering, but awkward too."

"Don't let them find out you're going to high school," Oz laughs as he rinses a bowl that Zoe exploded instant macaroni and cheese in, "They won't leave you alone. I know you haven't been all that secretive about being an eldritch being of destruction, but you might want to reconsider with those guys probably watching your every move."

"Heh, uhh, about that…" Zoe laughs.

Oz slowly turns around and stares at Zoe, "What did you do..."

"Look, it's really hard to find a cult that's stayed hidden for centuries, so I didn't look for them. They contacted me…" 

"They contacted you first? How?"

"Well, turns out that one of the kids at school was secretly a member of the cult… and they kinda sorta saw me destroy the school when we had that big fight," Zoe replies weakly.

Oz pales at the insinuation, "So somebody else saw…"

"No! They didn't know that you were the one who fought me! They just saw you disappear once I started shrinking!" Zoe replies quickly.

Oz slouches in relief, "Thank god."

"...until I let it slip that it was you," Zoe meekly continues, "And maybe kinda sorta told them what you looked like normally."

"Zooooooe…" Oz whines out his roommate's name in a long drawl as he covers his face and sinks against the counter.

"Don't worry! I'm pretty sure they won't tell anybody about you!" Zoe tries to make things better, "In fact, I think some of my disciples even decided to worship you instead!"

"WHAT?!" Oz's head jerks up, "Please tell me you didn't accidentally start a cult dedicated to me."

Zoe stays silent as she shrugs, giving Oz a 'it can't be helped kinda look.'

"And they know we go to Spooky High!" Oz is already considering all the awful ways this can go wrong, "You don't think they'll try something stupid like infiltrating the school right?"

"Probably not?"

"That doesn't make me feel better," Oz pinches the bridge of his nose, "I swear if I have a cult following me around on Monday I will dump all your stuff at your new apartment."

"Whaaa!? You just said you were going to miss me and now you're threatening to kick me out!?" Zoe pouts.

"You made a cult about me," Oz deadpans as je slowly stands back up.

"Yeah? Does that make you love me any less?" All of Zoe's eyes shift to Oz with puppy dog eyes.

"...I'm leaving," Oz walks out of the kitchen.

"What?! Nooooooo!" Zoe follows after Oz, "You're supposed you can't stay mad at me and then make me snacks!"

"You started a cult about me," Oz repeats.

"You can't just use that as your answer for everything!" Zoe pesters, "Just say you love me! You said I was like your little sister! There's no backsies with familial bonds Oz! NO BACKSIES!"

"You. Started. A cult. About. Me."

"You're insufferable y'know that!?" Zoe groans, "I said I'm sorry!"

"No you didn't."

"Oh," Zoe pauses in the doorway as Oz walks towards the door, "Well then, I'm sorry!"

As Oz exits the house, Zoe rushes after him screaming her apologies.

\------------------------Monday----------------------

Oz already wasn't having the best day. He had to awkwardly give Damien his jacket back and apologize for the whole situation with ice mage, avoid the alligator that got let loose in the baking club, and have a conversation with Tate and Violet on why he doesn't need a parasitic mushroom in his head without being rude. Now Oz wasn't in a bad mood after all this, no, he was just a tad bit exhausted. After this next class, he planned on going to the bathroom and skipping to regain his bearing and hopefully get rid of the headache starting to bubble up in his mind.

However, that whole plan went out the window five minutes into gym class when Coach walked in with a group of people wearing robes in masks suspiciously reminiscent of Zoe.

"HELLLLLO KIDDOS!" Coach had everyone gather around after stretches so he could speak, "We've got a bunch of new students here to be joining your class! Now I know they look a little strange-"

"They're obviously part of a cult," Vera deadpans next to Oz.

"Don't be rude Vera!" Miranda gasps from the other side of Oz, "They're clothing might be a part of their culture!"

"AHEM!" Coach coughs to get everyone's attention back on him, "As I was saying, the robes and masks are a part of their culture and therefore I am not allowed to make them change into gym clothes without seeming rude. Treat them well or I'll make you run the track! Now… uh.. what are your names again…?"

Oz prays that the people in masks and cloaks have actual names and the get up is actually just part of their culture. Be begs the universe for small favors. Just let his life be easy once. 

"We all go by the worshippers of Z'Gord," The masked man in the front waves his hands eloquently, "We have all given up our names and identities for our lord and savior Z'Gord, the destroyer of worlds. We are the only true religion!"

Damn it all. This is awful. Already some of the members of the group are glaring at Oz with what could only be considered hatred. Well, with as much hatred that can be expressed through a mask.

"Yep, cult," Vera nods.

"Yes. I must apologize dear Vera," Miranda nods, "They are most definitely a cult."

"What can I say? When you spend as much time as me learning how to fool gullible people into thinking they're special and giving you money, you learn to spot them when you see them," Vera brags.

"Wait a moment… I could've sworn there were more of you," Coach scratches his head, "There was definitely more of you outside… Yeah! I know because some of you were wearing black robes!"

"We are over here," The crowd of students watching the couch look behind them to see another group of people wearing black robes and black masks. Some students curse at being surprised and others clap at the cool trick. Oz, thinking he knows where this is going, ducks his head and tries not to be noticed.

The cult of Z'Gord looks annoyed at the other's presence and starts grumbling amongst themselves, "Showoffs… traitors… so disgraceful…"

"We are the cult of the one that shalt not be named," The leader of this group almost seems to be searching the crowd, and Oz slowly hides behind Miranda, "The one stronger than the dark lord Z'Gord and fear incarnate!"

Well, it looks like Oz is going to have to make good on his promise to kick Zoe out. Vera glances at Oz, who is shielding his face from the group. When he catches the gorgon's gaze he shakes his head frantically.

"I do not know them."

Vera raises an eyebrow questioningly, the world wide gesture for someone to explain.

"This is all Zoe's fault."

Just like that, understanding graces Vera's features and she huffs in amusement before turning back to the shouting group.

"Stronger than Lord Z'Gord?!" One of the members of Zoe's cult breaks from the group, "ALL YOU ARE IS A GROUP OF ABSOLUTE TRAITOROUS AND HERATIC-"

The leader of the groups places a hand in front of the shouting member and stops him, "Stay calm brother, we need not fight. When the day of reckoning begins, we will be given mercy from the destruction while they are destroyed. It makes no sense to waste energy on those who will be lost in time."

"You fools! Our savior shall be the one to stop your pitiful Z'Gord in her tracks! When the day comes you will grovel under our deity's power!" 

Oz decides he's had enough of this god, deity, and savior crap and slowly starts to sink into his own shadow to escape. At the rate things are going, gym class is probably going to be a shouting fest anyways, and Oz needs a break sooner rather than later if he wants to stay a functioning person. Miranda spots Oz sinking slowly and looks like she's about to say something until Oz makes a shushing motion with his hands. Despite her denseness, Miranda nods at Oz in understanding before adorably making the zipped lip gesture.

Oz sinks the rest of the way into his shadow and allows himself a moment to breath in the endless void. Zoe has a cult and they are now enrolled in their high school. Zoe accidentally made Oz a cult and they're also enrolled in their highschool. Well, at least his cult has enough sense to not go spouting his name off whenever they feel convenient. Actually, Zoe's cult calls her Z'Gord, maybe the people trying to worship him just don't think Oz is his real name. That would explain the 'shalt not be named' bit. Tiredly, Oz floats in the void for another few seconds before popping up outside the bathroom farthest from the gymnasium. 

Feeling ready to curl up in a ball and die at any moment, Oz opens the door to the bathroom silently. Oz scans the room to see if anyone's inside and is happy to see that the only monster present is Damien. Oz sighs, something's finally going his way. However, the relief is short lived, as it is quickly replaced with curiosity.

Damien had the jacket Oz had given back to him earlier this morning, set on the marble counter connecting the sinks. The demon isn't doing anything but staring down at the jacket while standing directly in front of the mirror. 

Oz takes a moment to glance at the demon's reflection. Since Damien didn't have his favorite jacket to go with his usual outfits, he had to dress in one of his alternatives. Damien's not like Amira, Vicky, Brian, and Oz, who wear the same thing every single day for some reason.

Instead of wearing his normal brown jacket and gray shirt, he has his black jacket hung over his shoulders almost like a cape, a gold necklace in the shape of a kanji, black pants, and a black t-shirt. None of this stands out that much to Oz though because when Damien first wore the outfit he accidentally stared much longer than necessary and memorized the details.

Oz tugs his mind from going down the same path again to return his attention to what the demon's doing. Damien's just staring at the jacket on the counter and not doing anything else. The incarnation of fear walks forward silently until he's about two feet from Damien, who still hasn't noticed he's here yet. However just as he's about to fix that and make his presence known, Damien starts taking off the black jacket hung over his shoulder and curiosity shuts Oz up. 

With little to no care, Damien tosses the black jacket down and the ground before staring at his favorite jacket again. Carefully, much more carefully than Oz ever thought Damien was capable of, the demon lifts his favourite jacket up off the counter and slips his arms through it. The demon doesn't even look up at the mirror once he has the jacket on. He just stands there looking down at himself strangely. It's at this point Oz thinks he knows what's going on. Yes, despite the strangeness of Damien smelling the jacket for some reason, Oz thinks he's figured out what's going on.

"The black one looks better on you in that," Sometimes Oz forgets that the Damien who shows him makeup, hair, and outfit tip videos is the same Damien that likes burning things all the time. Of course he was just curious about which of his jackets look better.

At Oz's voice, Damien's head whips up in the mirror to his best friend/crush standing right beside him. Damien spins around so fast that he literally trips backwards and falls on his ass away from Oz.

"Woah!" Oz looks down to his friend on the ground with concern, "Are you okay?! I didn't mean to surprise you."

"How long have you been fucking standing there?!" Damien doesn't make an attempt to stand up as he desperately wonders how much he just screwed himself over. He literally just got caught sniffing his jacket because Oz had worn it.

"Umm… just a few minutes," Oz tilts his head, "Sorry for not saying anything when I came in. I got too curious about what you were doing."

Shit! Damien desperately tries to make up excuses for his strange behavior, "Oh well- I was just- You see I thought- My jacket's a little- I uh-"

After five false starts, Oz interrupts, "You were just seeing which one would look better on you right? Don't worry, you've already told me how you want to be a stylist, remember? There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Seeing which would look better on me?" Damien parrots, staring up at Oz lamely.

"Yeah. That… is what you were doing right?" When Damien doesn't immediately respond, Oz backtracks, "Ah, i-if t-that wasn't then I'm really sorry for a-assuming things like that. I shouldn't have-"

"YEAH!" Damien's brain starts to catch up with him at this point and he starts talking extremely loud, "YOU ARE RIGHT ON THE FUCKING MARK! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS DOING!"

Damien grabs his black jacket that he was wearing earlier off the floor beside him and hops back up to his feet. As quickly as possible, the demon tears off his favourite jacket and hangs the black one back over his shoulders. 

Oz tilts his head to the side questioningly, "Why are you yelling?"

"I'M NOT-" Damien coughs when he realizes he practically is yelling and continues, "I mean I'm not yelling. Who's yelling? Not me!"

"..." Oz doesn't look very reassured by Damien's charade.

"Hey! You said this one looks better didn't you," Damien gestures down to his black jacket, "You were definitely right! Now that that's settled, why don't you tell me why you're in here, with me, during gym, the one class farthest away from here."

While Oz might have seen Damien's blatant change of the subject any other day, he doesn't even question it with his current problem. Oz must have let his exhaustion show in his expression, because Damien's look of panic slowly drips away to be replaced with it's own concern.

"Woah, you look like shit," Damien scowls, "What the hell happened?"

"I have a cult," Oz deadpans.

"...Excuse me, but what?"

"Zoe has a cult that worships her like Z'Gord," Oz starts explaining, "And she decided to use their offerings to buy herself a penthouse down the street from me."

"Totem girl's actually fucking moved out?" Damien says, shocked, "I thought she was going to bum off you forever."

"She hasn't moved out yet," Oz shakes his head, "But anyways, to get the money she needed from the cult she had to actually meet with them. It was during that meeting that she mentioned me, and now there's a group in the gym calling themselves the 'Cult of the one that shalt not be named'…"

"That could be anyone!" Damien tries, "Maybe they're actually some fake cult that Vera made up using a bunch of plastic cereal rings! She's done that before!"

"That's what I hoped too, but then they started spouting stuff about the incarnation of fear and the screams of a thousand dying souls and…"

"Shit. They were totally talking about you," Damien strings along curses under his breath.

"Yeah… that's why I decided to skip the rest of gym," Oz sighs dejectedly, "I've already had a long day and I just wanted to take a quick break…"

Damien stays silent for a little while before speaking his thoughts, "Y'know, you might not want to hear this, but having a cult can't be  that bad right?"

"Damien…" Oz sighs.

"You get free crap as offerings," Damien continues, "They'll kill anybody you say you want dead. If you forget lunch, they'll give you theirs. You can maybe use one to hold all your stuff for you so you don't have to carry it."

Oz can't help being a little amused, "They're cultists, not assistants Damien. They'll perform blood sacrifices, mass suicides, and all other types of terrible things in my name."

"Okay, but if you get over that," Damien smirks, "You get nothing but benefits. I mean, you've got a group of people that will do anything for you!"

"The only thing I'd have them do for me is just leave me alone! Not that I plan on using them, because I don't want a cult, but still!" Oz tries to keep a straight face, but even he can tell that he's failing, "What would you even do with a cult?"

"Two words," Damien smirks, "Unlimited sex."

Oz's face flushes in record time, "N-No way! T-That's just- Y-You wouldn't even know who they are because they would probably refuse to take their masks off! I-I would never d-do that!"

"Come on! You'd get to fuck anybody whenever or wherever you want!" Damien's just teasing at this point, "That's a horny teenager's dream come true!"

It's easy to say that despite his teasing, Damien is extremely satisfied with Oz's answer. As arousing as the thought of Oz in an orgy and crap is, Damien equally loathes the very concept of Oz doing it with anyone.

"C-Can we please stop talking about sex stuff?!" Oz begs desperately, his cheeks so red they had to have hurt.

Seeing Ozzie in actual desperation, Damien offers mercy, "Fine, but what do you actually plan on doing with the cult Zoe gifted you?"

"...I think I'm just going to ignore them," Oz's blush starts to slowly dissipate, "Yeah, I'll just pretend they don't exist. That'll be my strategy."

"...so you're going to ignore the problem?" Damien asks, seemingly thoughtful. After a moment, he shrugs, "I don't see how that could go wrong!"

Oz can see a lot of things that could go wrong with this, but he chooses to ignore them. He's still in denial at this point anyways. 

After Oz leaves the bathroom two periods later, most of the rest of the day goes by without a hitch from the two rival cults newly enrolled in Spooky High. Mostly because the two stay as far away from each other when possible while doing their own things. At some point Oz sees Zoe getting followed around by the Cult of Z'Gord and he feels a little bad for not warning her about them, but he remembers she made him into a cult and the guilt disappears. 

Speaking of his own cult, Oz has been avoiding them like the plague, just as planned. It's a little harder than he thought it would be, with how stealthy they are, but as the poster child for stealth, it's still entirely possible. 

The day is over in a flash, and Oz is pleasantly surprised to find out that neither cult did something morally gross on their first day of Spooky High. When Zoe and Oz make it back home to discuss her moving out, she also informs Oz that she's surprised by the lack of bloodletting and rituals in her honor. Maybe these cults won't be as bad as Oz thought.

\----------------------Tuesday-----------------------

Zoe and Oz decided that Zoe will be moving out of the house on Thursday. It leaves their normal breakfast rituals filled with dread and the morning a little sad, but they're both back to themselves by the time they arrive at Spooky High. 

Oz even more so than Zoe because Damien just  had  to speak to him during first period. They were working on Math when the demon pretty much broke into the classroom, pushed a kid out of the way, and sat on top of Oz's desk. The moment Damien entered the classroom unannounced, the teacher gave up on trying to actually teach and pulled her phone out. Yeah, that's how done the authority figures in Spooky High are with Damien's bullshit.

"Ok, but what if I built a rocket, fly to the sun, and then PUNCH IT IN THE FACE?!" Damien shows Oz his plan by drawing a tiny rocket with a stick figure of him in it heading towards a sun with shades on his class worksheet.

"Damien, you are not punching the sun in the face," Oz tries again, "No matter how many times you ask, it's not going to happen. Why do you even want to punch the sun? Don't you already have some big arson spree tomorrow after school?

"Oh, come on! I just think you don't-"

Before Damien can pull the 'you don't believe in me card,' Oz pipes up, "Don't get me wrong Dames. I know you could do it, but what's the point? You'd have to find the parts to build a ship, learn rocket science, and then fly who knows how long to get there!"

"Okay, so I get what you're saying-"

"I really don't think you do…"

"If the problem is that I want to punch the sun," Damien smirks, "I can just punch the moon instead!"

"What is it with you and wanting to punch things in space all of a sudden?" Oz asks, "If you want to punch a star why don't you just go to Hollywood?"

Damien's eyes light up and Oz realizes he's fucked up.

"THAT'S PERFECT! Oz, bring me to Hollywood right now so I can punch some stuck up rich fucker in the face!"

"Damien, I was being sarcastic!" Oz is so busy trying to derail the topic from punching famous people that he doesn't notice the group of black robed figures peak into the classroom and watch Oz.

"What?! But that was the best idea EVER!" Damien throws his hands in the air, "You've got to help me do that!"

Oz tries to think of a way to stop Damien from both punching an actual star and a figurative one, but comes up with nothing. With a sigh, Oz realizes he's going to have to compromise.

"Okay, let's pretend I let you punch a famous person in the face," Oz starts, "Who would it be?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Damien snarls, "I'd punch that idiot half-dragon actor from Dragon Heat, Ton Nolland! I mean, he ruined the whole franchise the moment he showed up in the first scene of the movie adaption!"

Oz has to force himself not to completely fanboy over the fact Damien's a fan of Dragon Heat too as he tries to think up a proper compromise.

"Okay, so how about this," Oz starts, "If I help you not only punch, but also kick Ton Nolland, will you give up on hitting the Sun?"

Damien eyebrows scrunch together in a way they only do when he's thinking about arson and/or assault, "...I can live with that."

Oz sighs in relief, "Good. I'm sure either Zoe or Vicky knows where he lives so we can go do that later."

Oz's phone dings and he reaches into his pocket to check it, "Speaking of Vicky, there's been a glitter cannon accident on the football field that Amira happened to be the victim of and Brian apparently needs help descalating the situation. I'll ask her about punching a celebrity later and then get back to you."

"Whatever. As long as I get to punch someone," Damien jumps off of Oz's desk as the dork stands up and sinks into his shadow with a tiny wave.

"Amazing…" Damien looks up to see a group of people in black masks and robes rush over to him, "Our Savior chose to grant your wish of violence and promised to convene with you in the future! How were you able to do this when we are unable to even greet him! Truly, you are an inspiration to our faith!"

Damien scowls at the group of cultists surrounding him before rolling his eyes and starting to walk away, "Fuck off you annoying dickwads. I don't want anything to do with your dumbass worshipping and neither does Ozzie."

All the cultists gasp at once, "You know the dark one's real name?! You speak it so frivolously too! Are you not afraid that he shall smite you down for saying it among unworthy ears?!"

"Ozzie is not Oz's real name," Damien forgets about walking away in order to correct stupidity, a first for him, "Oz is Oz's real name. I only call him Ozzie because he calls me Dames. Oh, and don't any of you fucking dare call us by out nicknames because I will shove a knife so far up your ass you puke it out."

Ignoring the demon's obvious threats, the cultists shake in excitement, "The dark one gave you a personal name?! You surely  must be his prophet! Please, tell us how to gain our savior's sight, so that we may serve him to the best of our ability."

"Jesus, you guys can't take a hint can you," Damien rolls his eyes, "Oz has heard about all the fucked up shit you did as the cult of Z'Gord and he doesn't want a part of it."

"Wait prophet! Do you mean that our pasts under the Cult of Z'Gord has made us unfavorable under the eyes of the dark one?!" The leader of the cult falls to their knees in front of Damien, "Do we need to strike them down and prove our loyalty to our new God?!"

"Yeah, whatever," Damien stopped paying attention a while ago, "Go do whatever you creepy people do in your free time and leave me and Oz the fuck alone."

"YES PROPHET! WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR EVER GRATIFYING WISDOM! WE WILL SEEK TO DESTROY OUR DEITY'S ENEMIES SO THAT WE MAY PROVE OUR LOVE TO THE EVER DARK LORD OF FEAR!" The leader of the cult yells at the top of their lungs as Damien walks away, completely tuning them out.

Across campus, Oz has just successfully stopped Amira from killing Vicky in a glitter filled haze and is heading back inside. He already asked Vicky if she knew where any of the Dragon Heat actors lived and she surprisingly knew the address of every single one except the one Oz needed. Walking away from that conversation left Oz concerned about the ease Vicky can find people's address and wondering how lax celebrity privacy is.

With Vicky being a dead end, Oz goes looking for Zoe, who has an even better knack at finding out famous and regular people's private information. Oz makes his way through the cafeteria, gym, and classes only to find the eldritch girl in the library drawing yaoi and reading manga.

"Hey Zoe!" Oz specifically singles out Zoe as to not disturb any of the other readers with his telepathic talking.

"OZ!" Zoe does not have the same care with her words or volume and returns Oz's greeting with a happy shout, "What are you doing here?"

Most of the nearby students shush and glare at Zoe the moment she starts talking, but she just ignores then. Oz shakes his fondly as he takes a seat next to her at the table. Purposefully ignoring her collection of papers and artistry supplies. The last time he looked at one of her projects he hadn't been able to look Vera in the eyes for three weeks. 

"Damien's trying to go to space and punch the Sun," Oz starts, "And the only way I could convince him not to was by promising he could kick and punch Ton Nolland from the Dragon Heat movies. I figured you out of everyone would probably know where he lives."

"Aww you want to keep Damien from getting lost in space! That's so cute!" This is the point Zoe starts whispering, "But if you want me to offer my P.I.O.C.F.S.P

knowledge you'll have to offer something in return."

"I have no idea what you just said," Oz's eyebrows furrow.

"Personal Information on Celebrities For Shipping Purposes," Zoe smiles, "I like acronyms. What can I say?"

"Okay…" Oz chooses not to comment on Zoe's words in favor of asking what she wants, "What will it take to get an address?"

Zoe slams her hands down on the table and leans closer to Oz, "I want your locker."

"My locker? Why do you want  my locker?" Oz asks, confused, "What's wrong with yours?"

"There's nothing wrong with the locker," Zoe huffs, "It's just the fact that dumb cult of mine found out that it's mine and started leaving stuff in it as offerings. They've only known for a day and I've already gotten three deer hearts, ten pledges of loyalty, and what I'm pretty sure is some girl's pinky toe in a box."

"That's...disgusting," Oz decides not to pull punches.

"Exactly, and since I know you don't use your locker because you can just grab whatever you want from home I want yours!" Zoe says seriously, "I can't keep my art supplies in mine anymore without worrying about blood stains."

"Okay then. You can have my locker in exchange for Ton Nolland's address," Oz nods, "I mean, it's just like you said, I don't use it anyways."

"Perfect!" Zoe grabs Oz's hand and shakes it up and down frantically, "It's a deal!"

Neither of the two monsters whispering at the table notice the cult of Z'Gord eavesdropping the next table over. 

"Can you hear what Z'Gord's telling that fraud?!" One of the members whispers to another.

"It's something about lockers and us," Another answers just as quietly.

"I bet Z'Gord is bragging to that no-name about all the organs we've been offering her," One says proudly, "We should leave more tomorrow."

"No, no, no," The one from earlier protests, "It was something about making a deal…"

"A deal, or a declaration of war?" The leader asks, "Is it possible that the dark days are already coming and the two of them are preparing to fight?"

"But, they're talking about us," The shortest one pipes up, "Why would that involve us?"

"I understand!" The leader snaps his fingers, "Z'Gord has declared war, but it is war between beliefs! She must have been bragging about our amazing offerings when that fake idol tried to compare himself to her! Then they decided to declare war between us followers so that the true faith reigns supreme!"

"Of course!"

"That has to be it!"

"This is going to be amazing!"

"We'll show Z'Gord we love her!"

"Wait guys," The one near the back of the table sounds less than convinced, "Z'Gord is going to a normal highschool now. Maybe she just wants to be like a normal teenager and experience life the way it is. Should we really be basing how she is now on the stories our ancestors passed down millions of years ago?"

"...That's stupid Greg," The leader deadpans, "This is why you're not a full member yet."

"Yeah Greg," Another frowns, "You still have a name and everything. That makes you lame and your opinions invalid."

"I don't know…" The shortest one shakes his head, "Maybe Greg's right."

All the others stare at the shortest one in shock. Greg nods his head frantically, "See guys! I'm not the only one that thinks-"

"SIKE!" The short one laughs, "You're stupid Greg. Z'Gord loves us! She's obviously only biding her time at this highschool because she wants us to prove our worth before she destroys the universe!"

"There's the kind of answer I expect from full fledged members," The leader of the group laughs, "You still have a lot to learn Greg."

Greg looks less than pleased.

As Zoe and Oz go throughout their day happily dealing with the drama of Spooky High, two groups of cultists plan out strategies for highschool war. Later that night when Damien and Oz travel halfway across the country to punch and kick a famous actor, Damien feels like he should tell Oz something, but he can't remember what. 

\--------------------Wednesday---------------------

The day before Zoe moves out is… chaotic. Well, that's putting it lightly. If Oz thought his Monday was difficult, then Wednesday was just flat out unbearable. For some reason the first period classes got spray painted in ancient runes overnight, the library got desecrated in battle between a couple of unnamed students, the gym got shut down because a deadly game of tag got started and the room had to be decontaminated, and worst, the bathrooms are out of order so Oz doesn't have a place to get away from it all. Oh, and just to make sure he's clear. Oz would have gone into the bathroom if it was just the toilets that were broken, but Noooo! Somebody actually opened up a rift in space time that tried to suck him into an alternate reality when he opened the door.

Oz is literally running on empty until he decides to hide out in the baking club's pantry, one of the few places that hadn't been hit with a healthy dose of destruction. However, hiding out quickly turns into stress baking. How did it happen? Oz doesn't know. How long has he been at it?

Long enough to bake two dozen cookies, some muffins, and a pie. Yes, Oz was literally so stressed he baked a pie. How the hell does one bake a whole pie out of stress. Apparently all it takes is being the incarnation of fear, enrolling at Spooky High, and having terrible social anxiety.

As Oz slowly ices another batch of cupcakes, the door to the baking club starts jiggling frantically. Not being ready for another disaster after a day chalked full of them, Oz finishes the last cupcake before ducking into the nearest shadow and deciding to just wait in a corner until whoever's coming in leaves. Honestly, Oz isn't sure he'd want to talk to Damien right now if he walked in. Everything's getting to be just a little too much this week. With all the chaos, the cults, and Zoe moving out the next day, it's a miracle Oz hasn't melted into a puddle of black sludge.

It's only after watching the door be banged on and jiggled for five minutes straight does Oz realize that the person on the other side is trying to pick the lock. If Oz was any less exhausted, he might have been a little more concerned about that, but in his near delirious state of holding onto sanity by a thread, all Oz can worry about is that the person breaking in doesn't mess up his pie.

The door finally swings open with a bang, and a familiar group of cloaked and masked figures, all wearing black, filter in. Oz almost gives away his position with an exasperated sigh. Of course one of his main sources of stress would come right now when all Oz wants to do is spend the rest of the day baking and recuperating. 

"Ok, so the next plan to exterminate the Cult of Z'Gord is to poison them all with the cursed dust of King Midas," The tallest member of the cult, and probably the leader, continues explaining, "They'll eat the food we trick them into eating as a peace offering, turn to solid gold, and then we'll offer their statufied corpses to our savior!"

"Hey guys! There's already a bunch of cupcakes here! This is perfect! We can just add the dust to these!" One of the cult members points to Oz's tray of goodies excitedly.

"This is a blessing!" The leader shouts, "Our savior has sent us these so we may continue our endeavors just as his prophet said! We've marked the classrooms as our own, won the dangerous battle of the archives, and now we shall truly end our enemies!"

Once the cult is done with their little speech, three things go through Oz's head all at once. One, they're pretty much trying to sacrifice a group of people to Oz, two, they just admitted to being the ones partially responsible for ruining his day, and three, they're touching his cupcakes. Forget ignoring them, these guys need to be stopped before Oz's entire life turns into a trainwreck.

With no tact whatsoever, Oz slowly raises out of the shadow he was hiding in and grabs his tray of cupcakes from a cultist with a little bit of hostility. He sets the sweets back on the table they were on and pinches the bridge of his nose. All the cultists are dead silent. Whether it's from surprise, awe, or a mix of the two, Oz does not care.

"Okay. we all need to have a talk," Oz's cold tone sounds alien, even to his own ears.

"MY LORD!" The leader of the cultists falls to the ground and bows, "YOU HAVE FINALLY SHOWED YOURSELF TO US! THANK YOU FOR WASTING EVEN A BIT OF YOUR TIME ON SUCH WORMS!"

The other cultists quickly follow their leader's example and drop to the ground bowing. All of them are chanting titles and honors as if their life depends on it.

"Please don't do that…" Oz sighs, "I need to have a conversation with you and I can't talk to you like this…"

"You wish to converse with us?" The leader looks up at Oz from the ground but doesn't stand up, "Truly, you are a noble and generous god! To speak with the miserable likes of us! People stained by the curse that is Z'Gord's wicked touch."

"Can you- ugh! Just stand up please!" At Oz's command, all of the cultists stand up quickly and stiffly.

"Yes lord," They all say at once, "Sorry lord."

Oz almost tells them not to call him lord, but considering all the rants he's heard from Zoe about her cult calling her by her new name, he doubts anything he could say would get through to them.

"Why are you trying to poison people for me?" Oz wonders if he sounds as tired as he feels asking that question.

"Because the cult of Z'Gord is a blemish on Earth itself and must be destroyed for us to prove our faith in you!" 

The leader looks like he's about to start bowing again so Oz places his hand on his shoulder to stop him, "No more bowing please… Just- Just talk to me normally."

The moment Oz's hand makes contact with the leader's shoulder, he stiffens up and all the other members gasp. Nobody hears what he said in favor of staring at his hand.

"He touched you grandmaster!"

"Amazing!"

"Blessed be the name! Blessed be the name!"

"We are unworthy!"

The leader of the group regains his composure when Oz jerks his hand back from him to stare at the other people in the room with concern. 

"You have graced me with the touch of your heavenly touch my grace, and therefore shown your faith in us at expressing your will towards other mortals!" The leader sounds reverant, "As your chosen people, we will practice our worship of you in the dark as you have proclaimed secrecy in your work, but we will also stand proud in out faith and finish off the opposers of Z'Gord so that you may show superiority."

Oz decides to ignore everything just said in favor of getting back on track, "You're going to do that, by poisoning Zoe's cult with my cupcakes."

All the cult members nod their heads frantically.

Oz places his hand on his forehead and shakes his head disapprovingly, "Why are you doing that? I'm pretty sure I never told you to. Especially considering I haven't talked to you until now."

"Your prophet told us that the only way to gain your favor was to destroy the cult of Z'Gord and revoke our old god completely," The leader raises both his arms to the sky, "It's an honor to destroy those besmirching your name!"

"Wait, go back a little. My prophet? I don't have a 'prophet.' Who in the world would tell you to start a war with Zoe's cult just to…" Oz stops talking and pinches the bridge of his nose yet again, "Dammit Damien."

The cultists share a confused look, "Have we done something that displeases you dark one?"

"Oh, you've done a lot, but I have a feeling most of it's not your fault," Oz lets go of his nose and steps towards the door, "Follow me, we're going to get things straightened out."

"We'll follow you anywhere, dark one!" The leader doesn't hesitate in trailing after Oz.

The incarnation of fear opens the door and steps out in the hallway while being followed by his cult. As they make their way towards Oz's destination, more than a few students give them weird glances. Despite only being here for a couple of days, the group of cultists has already become known for not listening to anybody during their path to worship, so many are confused as to why they're following Oz. The incarnation of fear is too focused on his goal to even notice the looks as he makes his way to the nearest fire alarm going off.

Sure enough, the fire alarm leads Oz directly to the demon he's looking for as he turns the corner to see Damien standing over a burning stab wound ridden corpse. Damien looks up just in time to see Oz start towards him followed by his cult.

"Hey Ozzie!" Damien leans over the flaming body below him and tugs out his favourite knives that are still embedded in the body, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Damien," Oz starts seriously, "Did you or did you not tell these guys that you're my prophet and then proceed to instruct them to destroy Zoe's cult?"

"What? No, I told those fucking goth jackasses to leave you the hell alone," Damien looks confused at Oz's accusation, "I told them you didn't want part in any of that blood sacrifice offering shit. Nothing else."

"You must be forgetting prophet," The leader of the cult pipes up, "We asked if by our dark one not wanting blood and death to occur in his name if that meant we were tainted in his eyes! We then asked if that meant we must destroy the cult of Z'Gord to be purified! Your exact answer was, 'Yeah, whatever.' Do you remember this clearly now."

"Uh no, not ringing any bells," Damien pockets the knife in his hands before kicking the flaming corpse one more time for good measure.

"Dames…" Oz groans, "They destroyed half the school because of what you said! The only reason I even figured out it was them is because they broke into the baking club to try and poison people!"

"You were in the baking club?" Damien pauses to look up in excitement, "Did you-"

"I did not make cookies Damien," Oz pauses, "Well, yes I did, but that's not the point. The point is that you can't tell these cult that you're my prophet. They're highly influenced and apparently lack any amount of common sense."

"Fine! Jeez, I'll tell them," Damien turns to the group of cloaked figures and rolls his eyes, "I'm not the dork's prophet, we're just... friends. My threats on your life are still valid though."

Oz turns to the cultists, "See? I don't have a prophet. None of what he told you is something I want you to do. No killing, no magic rifts, and no destroying the school on purpose."

"Wow, way to make life boring," Damien sighs, "Are you going to tell them no alcohol or swearing next. You're only a few steps away from making them a group of whiny pacifists."

"I already have you to deal with on a regular basis," Oz turns to Damien, "I don't have time for ten to fifteen more people committing crimes 24/7 Damien!"

"Fine! At least let them kill people though. Life's not as fun without murder," Damien grumbles, leaving the charred body of some poor student alone to walk up to Oz, "I mean, I'd go crazy if I couldn't just kill the people I hate."

"Life's not fun without-" Oz stops repeating Damien to sign for what must be the hundredth today, "Fine… FINE! I'll tell them they can kill people. Do you have any more suggestions while we're at it?"

"Damn, who pissed in your cereal this morning," Damien looks surprised by Oz's outburst.

"I'm- I'm sorry," Oz apologizes profusely, "Today's just… been a day."

"Really?" Damien rolls his eyes sarcastically, "I couldn't tell."

"...Wait," The leader of the cultists decides this is the perfect time to speak up, "Are you telling us you do not have a prophet and that our goal to kill the Cult of Z'Gord is unfounded and unsupported by you dark one?"

"Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying," Oz nods enthusiastically, "There is no reason to cause anymore problems for me and everyone else at school anymore."

"...So we're just supposed avoid the Cult of Z'Gord's murder attempts?" The leader doesn't sound sarcastic, just genuinely curious.

"The what?" Oz's eyes blow wide, "Has Zoe's cult been trying to kill you too?!"

"Yes dark one. They initiated the fight in the library, released poisonous gases in the gym, and attempted to suck us into a rift in time space in the co-ed bathroom."

"Holy shit! When the hell did all that happen?!" Damien copies Oz's shock.

"How long have they been trying to kill you?!" Oz asks.

"This morning. That is the answer to both of your questions," The leader of the cult glances between both monsters while talking.

"How the fuck did I not know about that!?" Damien snarls.

"Because you never go to the right classes," Oz answers Damien before instantly looking thoughtful, "Okay, we can fix this. I'll bring you all with me and we can go talk to Zoe about what her cult's doing. We'll talk it out and things will hopefully be peaceful and-"

"OZ! DAMIEN!" Both monsters in question look up to see Scott shouting and running at them from the end of the hall, "THEY KIDNAPPED VICKY, AMIRA, AND BRIAN AND ARE ABOUT TO SET THEM ON FIRE, AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHERE ZOE IS AND EVERYTHING'S GOING-"

"Woah, woah, woah! Calm down Scott," Oz and Damien are already rushing towards the panicking werewolf, "What's going on with Vicky, Brian, and Amira?"

"The people with the masks and robes that really like Zoe, they- they came out of nowhere and kidnapped Vicky after practice after hitting her with a potion or something and then they got Brian too! Me and the guys tried to stop them, but they threw some kind of smoke ball and ran away!" Scott is whimpering at this point, "We all started running around the school searching for them and we found them chained to the old tree outside and the people with the masks are threatening to set it on fire! I ran to get you as fast as possible because I DON'T WANT VICKY TO GET HURT!"

"Wait, you're saying that totem girl's cult is trying to burn Sparky, Hothair, and Greeny?!" Damien sounds rightly alarmed that his friend's friends are about to get cremated before turning to Oz, "Ozzie, what the fuck are we going to-"

Before Damien can finish, him, Scott, Oz's cult, and the incarnation of fear himself are falling into the void. They're floating there long enough for everyone to realize where they're at and for Damien to look for Oz and ask what the game plan is.

"Oz, what are we going to do when..." Oz isn't even looking in Damien's direction, but the bloodlust the small monster's exerting is enough to shut Damien up and cause him to swallow hard.

Not moments later and everyone Oz momentarily abducted is dumped outside directly near the old tree used for raves. Just like Scott said, Vicky, Amira, and Brian are chained to the tree and gagged while Zoe's cultists stand beside them with lit torches. A small group of Vera, Liam, Polly, Miranda, and the wolf pack are surrounding the tree yelling and shouting things that are probably supposed to make the cultists stop what they're doing.

Oz's cultists and Scott don't quite stick the landing from falling out of the void and fall in tangles of limbs. Damien and Oz on the other hand, being much more used to the unorthodox way of travel, land on their feet and instantly access the situation before them. Damien glances at Oz through the corner of his eye and almost takes a step back as the tiny black monster's eyes lock onto the tree across the clearing and the killing intent around him spikes.

"Hey, Oz, I know it's kinda hypocritical of me to say these but you really need to calm the fuck down before-" 

As Damien's talking, Oz ignores him and starts walking towards the crowded tree with a purpose. Most of the monsters surrounding the tree are completely oblivious to the destruction coming their way. The only one that notices the oncoming disaster is Polly, bless that poor poltergiest's soul, who turns around to probably fly back into the building for support only to freeze and slowly float away from the path of death. 

It's at this point Damien thinks he might need to get involved before they have a repeat of the destroyed school incident, except without a happy ending. The demon rushes after Oz and once he gets close enough to keep pace with him he tries to calm things down, something Damien thought he would never do in his life.

"Hey Oz, I know you've had a really shit day and crap, but you might want to chill the fuck out before you just walk up there," Damien tries, "Like, I'm fine with the loser squad getting a little toasty before we save them or whatever, but I don't think they'll appreciate getting crisped."

"Don't worry," Oz states with note of finality and something much more malicious underneath, "My friends aren't going to get hurt."

"Okay then, whatever you say," Damien decides not to question things too much considering Oz is the one that always handles delicate situations such as these.

Once Polly backed away, the rest of the monsters present seemed to catch on and glance behind them. Seeing a pissed off Oz and a concerned looking Damien, they all have much of the same reaction as the poltergeist and back up a little just in case shit hits the fan. Funnily enough, even the kidnappees stuck to a tree notice Oz and Damien's entrance before the monologuing Cult of Z'Gord. Amira rolls her eyes in a way that says took you long enough while Vicky and Brian just seem relieved. 

The Cult holding the loser gang hostage finally takes notice of the two new monsters when Damien loudly clears his throat in the most intimidating way possible. The Cult of Z'Gord doesn't seem to be phased by the act, but when they spot Oz watching they all seem to get more excited. They get even more enthusiastic when they spot Oz's cult slowly approaching too.

"Well, well, well," The tallest member of Zoe's cult laughs maniacally, "It seems the fake deity of the hour has finally arrived along with his most traitorous disciples!"

"..." Oz doesn't say anything, but the air around him seems to get colder.

"As you can see, we've kidnapped your three closest ministers by our lord Z'Gord's wishes!" The leader doesn't notice how heavy the air is getting or her shaking comrades.

"..." Oz doesn't say anything, and that's somehow worse than if he had.

"We used a powerful knockout solution called chloroform to snatch them, and now we're going to burn them at the stake like any other heretic!" The leader of the cult laughs again as he lowers his burning torch closer to the tree.

"YoU gEt One waRniNg…" Everyone around Oz cringes at the sheer menace in his tone. Damien leans forward to see that Oz is indeed speaking with his actual mouth, and he gets a little more concerned.

  
  


Ļ̷̨̼̼̦̌ē̶̑͑͋̓̐̈́͘t̸̢̤̳͎̘̀. .ṱ̵̅̇̑̈̓͒͝h̴̥͗̂͑́̒ȩ̶̗̩̲͆͘m̸̨̖̙͔̆̇̓̒̓̒̏̽͠͝ ̶̨̡̛̩̲̰̥̗̮͉̺̹̈́̃̾̓͆̋̈̽̈́g̵͍̟̔̓̾̎̕ͅō̴̵̡̟͕̪̱̼̖͙͇̘̂̒̓̔̉̋̇̕͘ ō̶̲̳̋̔̽̐̏̄͊̒̕r̴̼͙̜̭͙͒̽̀̾̋̉͆͋͘ ̵̱̬͖̺̬̞̜̅̾͌̽̾͊̕y̶̮͕̜̻̣̦̦͖͍͈̰̼̒͒̿͌̕͜o̶̧̭͎̳̔͗͗͂͛̀̾͘͜u̵̥̝̽̎̂̌̓̓̊̉͑̈̉̏̄̅̊ ̴̖̏͒̈͂̚w̴̥̘̉̈́̋͝o̴͖͇̯̗̙͎̫̺̩̤̍n̸̟̗͍̱̠͖̈̓͆͗͒͑'̴̨̢̗͖͔͖̥̝͇̦͎͍͚͈̓́͒̉͐̃̚͠ţ̴̬̙̼̯͚̟͈̪̥̩̈́͛̋͑͋͜͝ ̵̧̨̱̦̱̹̩͋̑͊͌l̶͕̿̇̊̃̄̌̆̀̔͘͝ḯ̶̛̘̦̣͔̱̻̆̈͌̇̿͒̄̕͠k̵̨̧̖͇͈̭̹̟̥̣͂̄̈́̅e̷̗͙̖͓̦͍̮̣͈̯̅͗̃͛͊̂̕ ̷̧͈̻͖͕͈͍̞̬͓͎̝̩̐͒̊̑̃͋̽̚͜ͅẅ̷̲͓̹̝͚̞̰́͑͋̓̉̈́̇̀͌͗͋͠͝h̶̨̩͓͎̗̤̗̲̙̥̭̖͎̤͉̒͗̾͒̃̈́͝͠a̴̢̦̝͍͍͎͓͎͈͇̙̲̗̝̙̓͂͒̿̃̈̿̚ṭ̵̡͙̱̫̭̥̿̊̉̊͌̐̑̇͝ ̴̧̡̯̘͖͈̩͍̠̞̹̠̹͓̟̾͆h̵̡̳̗̺̳̻̬͚̖̻̳͔̾̃͊̉̐̈́͝a̸̳͔̟͈̫̐̅̓p̵̓͋̃͛̈́̃͘͝͝p̵̢̣̰̥̯͎̰̓͛̎̈́̉͂̀̉̀̄̇͒͗͠ͅẹ̸̗̺̲̮̰̩̽͜n̴̡̡͖̘̤̘̠͉̮̈́̌̑͑͌̿̓ŝ̵̨̡̝̹͍͔̙̰̠̌̈́̍ ̸̡̹̥̘̼̯̟͘n̶͙̥̼̓ę̶̹̮̙̪̙̥̰̓͛͋̔̏̀̽̃̏͂̓͘͝ͅx̵̛̟͌̔̆͊̎̃͐̉͋̕͝ț̷̢͈͓̼̱͓̯̆̏̇͊̑̏͐̃̓ͅ.̸̨̗̭̘͕̞̠̦͖̆̎͛͛̀̇̿̒̏̉̽́̄͜͠

  
  


Instead of taking the warning, the leader of Zoe's cult only laughs and drops the fire at the foot of the tree.

"Oz, I think this is about the time that we-"

Before Damien finishes talking, there are blurs of black rushing at the cultists and pinning them to the ground. The giant creatures pin the purple robed figures down on the ground with their claws and let out guttural growls warning their prey what will happen if they struggle. It only takes Damien a second to realize that they're Oz's phobias and he feels dumb for not realizing sooner.

Damien glances back at the tree only to find the whole thing completely alight. The demon, and all the other monsters present panic instantaneously.

"VICKY!" Scott and the wolf pack howls. (heh, howls)

"OH MY GOD AMIRA, BRIAN, AND VICKY ARE GETTING ROASTED ALIVE!" Polly screams before much more calmly adding, "I hope they become ghosts…"

"Brian's already a zombie!" Liam's phone is on the ground and he looks deeply distressed, "I'M PRETTY ZOMBIES DON'T TURN INTO GHOSTS!"

"Amira has flame hair!" Miranda suddenly exclaims, "Surely that makes her fire retardant right!? Maybe she'll survive?"

"Does it look like she's surviving!?" Vera sounds damn near a breakdown as she points at a flaming skull that rolled a few feet away from the burning tree.

Damien instinctively turns to Oz when he sees the flaming skull of one of his friends. As little attachment he had to the three of them, Oz is probably near a panic attack seeing them burn to death. However, when Damien turns, there's no Oz.

"Oz?!" Okay, so maybe it's the fact everyone else is panicking right now that causes Damien to freak out so bad over the absence of a yellow sweater wearing monster at his side, but screw it everything's gone to crap and this isn't the time to up and vanish.

"Guys, calm down. We're all over here," Everyone freezes at the familiar, and shockingly monotone voice from behind them.

Everyone whips around to see Vicky, Amira, and Brian standing side by side in one piece without a single burn or char. One instant later and Damien also notices Oz flitting between all three of them saying things. Damien's the first to notice the incarnation of fear and he's also the first one rushing across the clearing.

"OZ! YOU FUCKING IDIOT! YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE ABOUT TO HARRY HOUDINI THE SHIT OUT OF US AND PULL A DISAPPEARING ACT!" Damien sounds angry, but he's actually just concerned and relieved.

Oz stops flitting between the three monsters to look at Damien guiltily, "I'm so sorry Damien! I just freaked out when I heard what was going on and I got really concerned and then panicked and everything got really out of hand but Vicky, Brian, and Amira are fine. You guys are fine right? I did get you away from the tree before it was set on fire, but if you have any burns or anything I'd really-"

Damien stomps over to Oz and pulls him into a possessive hug, "Shut the hell up you overprotective fucker."

Oz doesn't even hesitate to melt into Damien's embrace as all the other monsters near the burning tree gather enough sense to figure out what's going on. 

"VICKY!" Scott's the first monster to rush forward full speed towards his favorite Frankenstein's monster. Without hesitating, the werewolf sweeps the blue-hued monster up into a hug and twirls her around in the air, "YOU'RE ALRIGHT! THANK GOODNESS! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO IF YOU TURNED INTO A PILE OF ASH!"

Vera's the next to make her away from the flaming tree and she does so completely pissed off and scowling. Amira, having no self preservation, smirks at Vera.

"Were you worried about me-"

SMACK!

Vera slaps Amira directly across the face, "You are not allowed to die understand me?! Don't ever pull this bullshit with me again or I'll bring you back from the dead and murder you myself, got it?!"

The gorgon girl looks halfway between crying and killing, so Amira uses some of the little self control she contains in her body to not flirt, "I'm fine Vera! Look, I'm completely alright! Not even a bit of char! I am completely uncooked and at a normal temperature."

Vera still looks highly disturbed, but she calms down a little at the fire Djinn's reasurances. 

"Aw man… guess you guys didn't turn into ghosts," Polly looks disappointed.

"I don't think that the correct thing to be saying right now," Miranda comments when Vera, Scott, and Liam turn to glare at the ghost.

Realizing her mistake, Polly backtracks, "What I meant to say was thank god everyone's safe and alive and totally NOT a ghost!"

While Vera's scowling at an increasingly nervous Polly, Brian makes his way towards Liam, who is still standing in where he was earlier. On his way to the frozen vampire, Brian leans down and picks something off the ground. He hands the item to Liam and it turns out to be his phone. The screen has a diagonal crack down the center, but other than that, the phone still seems functional.

"Thought you might want that back before somebody steps on it and it's completely useless," Brian doesn't look troubled, but the slight tremor in his voice expresses layers of concern. 

"Ah, y-yes," Liam pockets his phone, something only done on rare occasions, and crosses his arms, "I'm assuming you're alright? No burns or any other injuries. It's hard to tell what's new and what's… old."

Brian actually chuckles at Liam's not so subtle poke at his decaying features, "I'm fine. Oz already made sure of that."

"Wait, how did Oz save you guys? Amira's skull is literally still on fire over there," Polly points to the flaming skull a couple of feet from where she's standing, "Wait a fucking second! Does Oz secretly have resurrecting powers too?!"

"Um no? That's my skull, but it's not real. It's the one that goes with my costume, remember? I got kidnapped while we were in the middle of rehearsal," As Amira talks, most of the people around realize she's in her outfit from the theatre, "I know that all of us haven't been to the amphitheater since it got rebuilt, but it does still exist guys!"

"HEY!" Everyone looks up to see Zoe rushing towards them, out of breath, with Kale not far behind, "Kale told me what was going on and- HOLY MOTHER OF FURRIES IS THE TREE ON FIRE?! Was it too late?! Did Vicky, Brian, and Amira get cremated!?"

"Again, over here," Brian waves to the eldritch being of insanity that looks halfway to passing out, "We are all completely fine. No burning over here."

"Oh thank goodness!" Zoe sighs, "If you three died I don't know what I'd tell- OH! HEY OZ! When did you get here?"

Oz breaks away from Damien's embrace to quickly stomp over to Zoe, "I've been here since your cult tried to kill our friends."

"I- uh, yeah, sorry about that," Zoe fumbles with her words under Oz's glare, "I don't why they did this, but they've gotten super out of hand. Please don't be mad at me!"

Oz shakes his head, "I'm not mad at you Zoe. I'm upset that both of these little 'cult' groups following each of us around decided to have a war and tried to kill people because they think I'm destined to kill you or something equally stupid."

"You would never be able to kill the GREAT Z'GORD!" Despite being one claw away from dead, the leader of Zoe's cult decides this is the perfect time to speak up, "We may have failed to honor or goddess's wishes today, but we'll come back again! You and your pitiful shadow monsters will not stand a chance against us!"

"As if Z'Gord could ever stand up to the dark one!" Oz's cult decides to finally speak up as well, "Our lord has already beaten you once and he'll surely do it time and time again! You would be absolutely moronic to think otherwise!"

"Mister grandmaster sir, I don't really think we should be doing this right-"

"SHUT UP GREG!" Both the leaders of the cult yell at the one member trying to calm things down.

"Our lord can travel through the darkness and has an army on hand at all times!" The black robed leader shouts.

"Our lord can devour universes and cause insanity with one look!" The purple one shouts back petulantly 

"Ours can eat universes too! Plus, who needs insanity when fear is a much more renewable energy source! Hell, Disney even made a movie about it!" Oz's cult leader retorts.

"A highly controversial movie that led people to thinking all monsters are beasts with multiple eyes, arms, and tails," The one under Oz's phobia retorts, "It was very racist and made it seem like the only monsters that mattered were ones with outrageous features! Plus, how is fear in any way better than madness!"

"Madness makes people blubbering idiots that can't say their own names without foaming at the mouth, fear just paralyzing people for a little while and leaves them with long lasting trauma!" 

"Oh yeah, that's  SO much better."

"Well maybe if you-"

" Be quiet ," Oz demands.

Oz's cult leader zips his mouth and lowers his head shamefully, but the other doesn't have the sense to do the same.

"Why? Are you afraid that my cult and I might actually pose a threat to you and those pitiful mortals live? Honestly, they were so easy to catch. We should have just slit their throats when we- GAHHHH!"

As a spike of bloodlust rushes through the surrounding area, the phobia keeping the cult leader pinned decides to take a little action to get him to shut up. One of the phobia's claws go directly through the man's shoulder blade and stays there firmly. He's unable to talk through his whimpers and tears.

" I told you to shut up, " Oz's voice is cold and dark, as if challenging anyone to question what he says.

With wide eyes, everyone turns to Oz, who looks quite embarrassed by what just happened.

"Oh no. I-I don't know where that came from. I shouldn't have done that. T-These guys have just been r-really getting on my nerves lately and-"

"Oz," Zoe sets a hand on the shoulder of the monster freaking out, "I think you need to take the day off. Like, for real. Maybe you and Damien should just skip for the rest of the day."

"I'm f-fine! Really, just a little stressed out..." When Oz meets Zoe's gaze, the roles from earlier switch.

"What do you tell me when I've spent twelve hours on a single project without taking breaks?" Zoe eyes Oz up and down critically.

"To… take a break…" Oz admits defeatedly, already knowing this is a lost battle.

"Exactly, now what are you going to do?" 

"But Zoe, the cults are literally having a war and we both-"

"I'll handle mine," Zoe crosses her arms, "And I'm pretty sure yours gets the idea that attempted murder is not something they want to try and pull right now."

"No murder!"

"Yep, we absolutely understand!"

"Please don't kill us!"

"You can trust the cult of the dark one to conduct peaceful behavior!"

"Go take a break savior!"

"We'll always be waiting for your return!"

All of Oz's cultists happily nod and agree with the fact Oz needs a break, despite him literally only talking to them for the first time less than thirty minutes ago. Even more concerning is how quickly they're willing to agree with Zoe's suggestion.

"I really think I should be here to-"

"Nope! Get out of here and we'll have a talk with both of our annoying fan clubs in the morning!"

"I-I really don't-"

"Damien!" Zoe turns to the demon behind Oz and winks, "Oz told me you had some big arson spree planned after school today! Do you think you could start that now, and maybe take Oz with you?"

"Pft, you ask that like I'm not willing to commit crimes at any given moment," Damien laughs before grabbing Oz's hand, "Come on dork, we're going to blow off so much steam that you won't be stressed for the rest of your life!" 

"I'm pretty sure that's not how it works Dames!" Oz shouts as he willingly gets dragged away by the demon. Oz's phobias follow after him once he gets too far away for their liking, leaving the cultists from earlier free, and their leader to start bleeding out.

"Isn't this kinda backwards?" Amira snorts, "Usually the people in a near death scenario are the ones who get a day off."

"Yeah, and the person who saves them gets famous, but you do see Oz taking  that as a reward?" Vicky laughs.

"If you're making jokes then you weren't close enough to death to get traumatized," Brian deadpan before pointing at the wolfpack, "You get to take a day off when you're freaked out."

Sure enough, the wolfpack looks broken as they watch Oz get dragged away by Damien and followed by giant dark monsters, "What- The tiny nerd- Giant monsters- What is going on?!?!?" 

"Jesus christ. We're going to have to teach these idiots how to keep a secret now, aren't we?" Vera sounds drained.

"Don't forget him," Vicky points to Kale.

"Oh, don't mind me," Kale shakes his head, "I'm pretty sure I'm really high right now and all of this is a hallucination, so I'm just waiting for things to mellow out."

"I never realized that our lives could all fit under a fever dream until this very moment," Amira looks enlightened.

"Ha HA! I always knew my life was a fever dream!" Polly giggles uncontrollably before staring at Kale seriously, "Do you have any of the good stuff on you right now?"

"Sure," Kale reaches into his pocket and offers Polly a blunt.

"Fuck yeah! I'm gonna teach the hell out of Scott's cousins, and I'm gonna do it high!" Polly grabs the blunt, lights it on the still burning tree outside before smoking it like her life depends on it.

"I wish you weren't a ghost so I could kill you myself," Vera glowers at the ghost.

"Not the first time I've heard that and it won't be the last!" Polly laughs before barreling towards the wolfpack.

\---------------------Thursday-----------------------

"Are you sure we should stay scheduled and have you move out today?" Oz says nervously, "I mean, what if things go wrong with your cult and they decide not to pay for the house? What if they stalk you home and you have to deal with them all the time? What if-"

"Oz! Calm down!" Zoe rolls her eyes, "The cult of Z'Gord is never going to not listen to me for one. Second, I paid for my house already and I did it in cash, so there's no way for them to find out where I live without someone telling them. Take a chill pill alright? There's no need for you to be so panicky when you know the real reason you're anxious is because somebody has to talk to their own cult today."

When Oz doesn't answer Zoe back immediately, she knows she hit the bullseye. The eldritch cutie glances up from her newest art project depicting Calculester and some random tech support helper to watch Oz flit around the kitchen making breakfast for Zoe. The monster is actually pretty impressive in the kitchen.

"I know you don't quite understand the whole cult thing Oz," Zoe taps her colored pencil against the table, "But the whole point is that they'll literally do anything you say except leave you alone. You've pretty much got a group of personal servants to do your bidding. Of course, if they really annoy you, they are mortals. You can just kill them or whatever. I don't judge, I've done it multiple times back in the day. Entire church communities wiped out because they didn't sacrifice their first born son and all that."

"Zoe," Oz stops cooking for a moment to turn to her, "I spent ten minutes yesterday begging you to apologize on my behalf to the guy Aichmophobia stabbed through the shoulder, and you think I'm going to kill then?!"

"Oz, do you apologize to every person you and Damien have hurt when you hang out?" Zoe raises an eyebrow.

"Yes," Oz nods, "Although it's more that I shout it before we leave."

"Oh, I uh, wasn't expecting you to say yes to that," Zoe starts snorting after a moment, "You really do that? You just burn down a hospital with Damien and shout 'SORRY' as you leave?! That's actually really adorable. I bet Damien thinks so too! Actually, speaking of your soon-to-be-boyfriend..."

"How do you always somehow change the subject to Damien…" Oz ducks his head as he turns back to the food he's making.

"That's because you're too shy to ever do anything unless I pester you to your breaking point!" Zoe pouts with a huff, "It just so happens that the thing I need to frustrate you about is Damien!"

When Oz doesn't contest Zoe's statements, she takes it as her cue to continue. Dorothy also takes 

"Now, I was going to ask how last night went with you and Damien. He seemed pretty excited to drag you off…" Zoe smiles knowingly, "Nothing… exciting happened, right?"

"We just destroyed a couple buildings and killed some people, so n-normal stuff," Oz refuses to even glance at Zoe, which immediately sets the eldritch monster of insanity's shipper senses off.

"Oh! Something totally happened!" Zoe leans forward in her seat, "Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me!"

"N-Nothing happened Zoe!" Oz gets defensive, but the moment he meets Zoe's gaze, he knows it doesn't matter and relents, "D-Damien just said some really unusually nice things…"

"Oh?" Zoe's light up and she has to force herself from letting excitement shine through her tone.

"J-Just some stuff about him b-being sorry I had a bad d-day and y'know…" Oz's ears are pink, "...h-how if I'm ever having a bad day again h-he's always up for skipping…"

Zoe can't help it, she squeals, "OH MY GOSH! That is SO adorable! He seriously said that?! How did you respond?! Wait, who am I kidding, I bet you just said 'thank you' or 'okay' like a total lovestruck fool!" 

Oz's blush gets much worse, "Sometimes I wish I'd never told you about my crush…"

"A crush?!" Zoe bursts out laughing, "You are literally in love with him!"

"Zoe!" Oz turns bright red, "D-Don't say that!"

"Oh come on! You're literally tomato red just because he said something nice to you," Zoe exclaims, "You know it's true! You took a blast of soul magic straight to the heart for him!" 

"Damien would have done the same thing if the roles were swapped!" Oz is still blushing.

"EXACTLY!" Zoe throws her hands up in the air, knocking over some of her supplies, "No, my comics! give me one second Oz!"

Zoe stops talking to drop from her chair, kneel to the ground, and start gathering up all the things she dropped. As the being of insanity gathers up the notebooks and papers that fell, she starts talking again. 

"What I was trying to say before I interrupted myself," Zoe stands up and sets her stuff back on the kitchen table, "Is that you and Damien are soulmates."

"W-What?!" Oz drops the whisk in his hand, "T-That's not-! Y-You can't say things like that!"

"You've already told me you have a crush on him! Just embrace your emotions and go all the way!" 

"I-I'm going to throw away your breakfast if you don't stop talking r-right now!" Oz has his head in his hands as he talks.

"WHAT?! NO! You said you were going to make me strawberry waffles with sprinkles in them!" By the time she's finished talking, Zoe's already by Oz's side using her puppy dog eyes at max power, "You wouldn't ruin my last breakfast at your house before I move over a little teasing, would you?"

"..." Oz removes his hands from his face and glances at Zoe before sighing, "Fine, you'll get your waffles… Please stop terrorizing me though…"

"YAY! WAFFLES!" Zoe throws her arms in the air and starts grinning goofily before rushing back to her seat at the kitchen table, "How much longer will they take anyways?"

Oz hasn't fully recovered from his embarrassment, but he has forgotten about what he was so worried about earlier, "J-Just give me a few minutes."

"Y'know, I was thinking about my new place," Zoe changes the subject for Oz's sake, since he looks about ready to pass out from how red he is, "Do you think I should put all my anime posters up on the north wall or south wall? I was leaning towards the north wall because…"

Oz and Zoe fall into an easy conversation about how she's going to decorate her new place. It's bittersweet thinking that they'll no longer be living together, but they manage. Oz serves Zoe her colorful waffles, she inhales them, and then they head to school. 

The moment Oz drops them both outside, his doubts return and he turns to Zoe, "You're sure this is a good idea? We'll be having two rival groups in the same room? What keeps them from freaking out and killing each other?"

"We've been over this Oz! We do!" Zoe laughs, "When it comes to groups, armies, or any of the above, it's all about the leader keeping the soldiers in control. Churches are no different! The priest tells the congregation what their god wants and they follow blindly, or the god tells them what to do and they follow those orders to a T."

"That's a lot of power over someone," Oz is dreading this.

"Yep! Don't worry though! I think it'll mostly just be my cult we're convincing," Zoe crosses her arms as she starts towards the school with Oz following, "For some reason you got all the open minded disciples! They're so willing to listen and they understand that not everything is a sign! I mean, yours only started a war because they thought Damien was your prophet. Which, from their point a view was actually plausible! Mine on the other hand, saw us shaking hands and just assumed it was about a declaration of war. Then there's all the dead goats they keep trying to give me! I swear, how many dead goats does a person-"

Oz coughs to get Zoe's attention, "I umm, get it Zoe. They give you lots of dead goats."

"Lots of goats, is the understatement of the year!" Zoe shouts.

"Do we have a gameplan for this?" Oz ignores Zoe's ranting about goats in favor of somewhat knowing what he's about to be getting into.

"Of course I do Oz! Just follow my lead!" Zoe struts inside of the school like she owns the place, "I know how to threaten people! It's one of the things I'm exceptionally good at!"

"Ok… if you're sure," Oz follows behind Zoe, still not quite prepared, "If you say you know what you're doing then-"

  
  


…

  
  


"Zoe, I mean this in the most caring way possible, but I do not think you know what you're doing," Oz deadpans as Zoe tries to make yet another analogy for school life and anime.

"What are you talking about?" Zoe looks up, confused, "The best way to learn anything is through Japanese animation and comics!"

Zoe's standing on a stool as she doodles multiple drawings all over a giant school white board while both Oz and Zoe's cult watch. They seem just as confused as Oz is by the strange things getting drawn without rhyme or reason.

After reassuring Oz multiple times that she had a plan, both Oz and Zoe rounded up their cultists and herded them into one classroom. 

"Maybe, but what is it you're trying to teach? You just walked in, told everyone to pay attention, and started drawing," Oz stands in the center of the classroom, looking at all the drawings Zoe made in less than ten minutes.

"What do you mean what am I teaching?" Zoe laughs, "I'm obviously talking about… talking about… what was I talking about again? I forgot after I drew the Naruto x Garfield comic…"

"Yeah…" Oz sighs, "That's what I thought…"

Zoe turns huffy and shoves the marker in her hand at Oz, "Fine then! If you think you can tell out cults how to act properly then go ahead and try!"

"I-I'm n-not going to be able to teach them anything," Oz grips the marker in his hand and tries to shove it back towards Zoe.

"Nope! You criticized me! It's your turn to try and see how not easy this is!" Zoe stomps away from Oz and plops herself down in a desk at the back of the classroom to watch. Both groups of cultists glance at her warily before focusing on Oz.

Oz glances around the classroom full of eyes on him, looks down at the marker in his hand, and then gives a helpless glance at Zoe, who seems to care less.

"I-I… really don't know what to do, but I guess I'll try?" It sounds more like a question than a statement, but it gets Oz's point across.

"You've got this dark one!"

"We trust in your divine teaching!"

"Don't worry about it! There's no way you could do worse than Z'Gord!"

"Yeah, we'll listen to whatever you say!"

Zoe bolts upright at her desk, "Hey! I heard that! I don't know which one of you said it, but don't insult me!"

"Yeah! Don't insult our lord!"

"Z'Gords's teachings might be unconventional, but that doesn't mean they aren't educational!"

"Totally! I learned that anime is a holy career to be involved with!"

"Hey! Calm down!" Oz's voice silences the room, "You can't just start arguing over each other all the time! It keeps us from getting anywhere!"

The cultists on Oz's side of the room mumble out quick apologies while the others murmur things along the lines of Z'Gord being a better teacher than the dark one. 

That gives Oz an idea. There's no better place to start than at the beginning as they say. Oz erases Zoe's drawing before writing the words Z'Gord and the dark on it. Once he's done, Oz turns back around and points at the board.

"H-Here's why you can't keep calling us by these names," Oz starts off stammering, but he gets more confident as he goes.

As Oz continues lecturing the cult members present about proper highschool conduct and personal space, some of both cults start to take notes and ask questions. Zoe pouts at Oz being a better teacher than her for about five minutes before she gets over it and starts adding tidbits of her own.

"Do NOT put goats in those!" Zoe interrupts Oz when he's talking about school lockers, "Nobody likes dead goats anymore! All they do is rot and get everything bloody!"

"Don't follow people around, especially me!" Zoe adds when Oz brings up stalking, although she shrinks back in her seat when Oz glares at her with a look that just screams she's a hypocrite.

Oz doesn't even realize until a few hours into the discussion what he's doing. At some point while he was talking, he switched from telling a cult how to behave to telling them all things he wished he had known when he integrated into normal monster society. All the little social cues he didn't quite understand until later, the keys to not acting like a dead log whenever something serious happens, and he even goes on to describe the crooked morals of everyone at Spooky High and how the cult should not, by any means, use them as role models.

When he's done talking, Oz turns around towards the group and puts his hands out, "Well then, any questions?"

Three people raise their hands. Oz points to the first one

"So… Z'Gord does not wish to be called by her godly nane anymore and prefers the modern name Zoe?" The leader of the cult has their arm in a sling, although they don't seem bitter about it.

"YES! YES, YES, YES!" Zoe beats Oz to the punch, "Don't call me Z'Gord anymore! That isn't me! I'm Zoe! Z-O-E!"

Oz clears his throat, "Yeah, uh, Zoe would prefer to not be called Z'Gord from now on."

The cultists proceed to start writing things down. The one who asked the question pauses before writing.

"I can assume that goes the same for you dark one?"

Oz is surprised by the amount of respect in the cult of Z'Gord's voice, so his words come out a little jumbled, "Oh, well, umm, yes! My name's Oz! Not the dark one. I mean, I'm fine with you calling me that if you w-want to, but it's really your choice! Although I'd prefer you not to call me the dark one when we're at school since not most people know about me being an eldritch being. I mean-"

"Don't call him dark one unless you want immortal help, and if you do, don't do it publicly," Zoe jumps in, being more precise. A wave of 'oh's spring up across the room as the cultists get Oz's ramblings interpreted. Zoe points at one of Oz's cultists with their hand up from her seat, "Your question next."

"Ah, oh, I just wanted to make sure that the dark one- er, Oz, does not have any prophets whatsoever. None of us want a repeat of yesterday's incident," The leader of Oz's cult looks concerned, "I would also like to ascertain the identity of the demon who pretended to be your prophet and then whisked you away. Is he your concubine?"

The whole room goes silent as Oz's eyes slowly become the size of saucers, a blush springing forth on his face. Zoe falls out of her desk in laughter. While Oz is catatonic, Zoe starts crying.

"I- Damien and I- We're not- That's not-" Oz regains control of his brain, but not his mouth, "We don't- I do not have any prophets, and Damien is not my concubine!"

"HE ASKED IF DAMIEN WAS YOUR CONCUBINE OZ!" Zoe somehow makes her way off the ground and close enough to Oz to throw one of her arms over his shoulder, "A CONCUBINE! HA!"

"I know Zoe!" Oz looks down at his feet in mortification.

"You know I have to write that fanfiction now right? It's the perfect idea for an AU, or… OH MY GOD! Oz, what if I write it the other way around?! I can totally see the plotline now, a shy yet ferocious soldier in the demon army catches the attention of Prince LaVey and he calls him to his quarters late at night to-"

Oz turns a whole shade brighter, "ZOE! What did I say about writing fanfiction about me and our friends!"

Zoe pouts, "That if I absolutely can't help it I can write stories, but I don't share them with you…"

"Exactly," Oz decides to strike while the iron's hot and change the subject by pointing at the last person dutifully raising their hand, "Ahem, w-what's your question?"

"Oh, uh, well," This member of Zoe's cult is a lot more animated in their actions and scratches the back of his neck as they talk, "My name's Greg, I'm not a full member of the cult yet, but I just wanted to know if by doing this little class thing with us, you're asking for us to leave you alone and just participate in normal highschool activities like everyone else?"

"Greg! This isn't the time to be-"

Zoe cuts off the leader of her cult, "Right on the mark Greg! That's exactly what me and Oz want you to do!"

"I-It is?" Oz asks, only to be hit on the back of the head by Zoe's tentacle arm, "I mean, it is! Greg's right!"

There's a quiet, "I told you so," from Greg's seat in the back.

"We're normal highschool students now guys! We're busy with friends and classes! We don't need you always tailing us like lost puppies!" Zoe continues, "Now don't worry, you can still come to us for help or whatever, we are your classmates now. Just no god, deity, or lord crap anymore, okay?"

"But Z'Gord- I mean Zoe, we live to be of service to you! What else could we possibly do with our lives?!" The leader of Zoe's cult sounds distressed.

"As much as I hate to say it, I agree with his sentiment," The leader of Oz's cult nods, "We live to serve you Oz! Please allow us to follow you, and if we're unsatisfactory, let us sacrifice ourselves to you in the ultimate devotion!"

"Zoe," Oz singles his friend out, "We might need to give them a goal that settles them into the whole freedom thing."

Zoe glances at Oz before nodding thoughtfully, "I guess you're right."

Zoe surveys the room around her while scrutinizing the silent cultists. She seems to come to some type of decision, because she shifts her arm off of Oz and grows serious.

"Fine then, if you want to serve Oz and me, we'll give you one quest to gain our approval," Zoe places her hands on her hips, "Your job is to blend in as completely normal students, leave us alone, and get a date to Prom when it comes up in a couple of months. That's your job! Go get started!"

"That's it?!"

"We can handle that!"

"Being a normal student should be easy!"

"Yeah! All they do is gossip, flail, go to classes!"

"Wait… CLASSES! We're supposed to be in them right now!"

"Oh jeez, it's fifth period! We already missed so much!"

"We need to get out of here!"

At Zoe's words, both cults start to panic and rush out of the room in a hurry to get to classes. In record time, the classroom is empty and the only people left are Oz and Zoe. One of which is exasperated at the other's actions.

"Did you seriously just set two cults loose on the school with the goal of getting a date?" Oz sighs.

"Maybe…" Zoe giggles, "It's for shipping reasons!"

Oz stays silent before voicing his thoughts, "...Y-You were kidding earlier about writing a fanfiction about me and Damien, right?"

Zoe glances at Oz before silently walking away from him and heading out the door.

"Z-Zoe?!" Oz rushes after her, "That's not an answer!"

\-----------------------Friday-------------------------

Friday morning is long, but fun. Especially since Oz and Zoe are still moving things around in her new apartment from ten at night to five-thirty in the morning

"How did you even get so many anime posters? I swear I didn't buy you this many…" Oz is standing next to Zoe with arms full of posters.

"Art commissions Oz! You may have paid for my room and board, but I did make money! I just immediately used it on memorabilia!" Zoe laughs as she tacks yet another poster to the wall in her new living room.

"I would say I'm upset… but I don't think I expected any less from you," Oz sighs, "I'm more stuck on the fact you bought an entire penthouse and we've been stuffing said penthouse since seven last night."

"Aw, don't be a wet blanket!" Zoe pouts, "I just wanted my new place to be comfy! Plus, you were the one who promised to help me move!"

"Yeah… you're right…"

"Always am!" Zoe laughs as she gestures for Oz to hand her another poster.

Oz complies with the girl and hands her a poster with a giant mech on it, "Did you have to get a penthouse this big though?"

"No, but I wanted to," Zoe smiles, "I wanted enough room to have all my friends over a once, y'know?"

"Yeah, I get it. It's just… everything here is especially…" Oz points at the glass wall overlooking the city with his chin, "...breakable."

"Nope! This place's last owner was a paranoid millionaire!" Zoe nods at the window, "That's enchanted bullet proof glass, the whole place is built with titanium, and the sprinkler system is state of the art! This place might be a lot of things, but it's definitely not vulnerable."

"Oh, wow. You really did put a lot of effort into finding this place didn't you?"

"Eh, if you consider six hours a lot, then I guess so," Zoe shrugs.

"If it was anybody else other than you, I'd say that's a lot," Oz snorts, "But you've spent three days straight on your computer before, so it really isn't."

"Excessive internet searches are one of my things, what do you expect me to do? Rebrand?"

"Is being dramatic one of your 'things' as well?" Oz teases.

"No," Zoe actually stops to think, "I'm pretty sure that's more Miranda and Amira's shtick."

"...I was joking, but okay."

"Hey, do you think I should have a party or something?" Zoe changes the subject, "Invite everyone from school over so we can have fun or something?"

"That depends," Oz shrugs as he gestures Zoe to move her posters a little to the right, "If you have everyone over for a party, your new house is going to get wrecked. Do you want to have to clean up a party when you just got this place?"

"Ugh, no. I've seen the bodily fluids mortals hack up after parties and I am not keen on messing with that," Zoe fakes gags.

"Then I guess that means no party," Oz shrugs.

"BUT I WANNA HAVE EVERYONE OVER AND HAVE FUN!" Zoe whines.

Oz pauses in giving Zoe directions on where to move her poster to think, "Well, instead of a party, how about a game night or something. We already have one at Liam's every few weeks, why don't you just ask if you can have it here next time in celebration of your new home."

"That's the perfect idea!" Zoe cheers, "It'll just be a bunch of friends having fun together! We can play Scrabble, Clue, Uno, and maybe even-"

"No Monopoly," Oz cuts in, "You remember what happened last time."

"What happened last time?" Zoe asks, like she doesn't know what kind of calamity occured.

"Miranda and Scott somehow bankrupted themselves in the first five minutes, Brian got put in jail, you and Vicky stopped playing entirely to make a cardboard jail for Brian, Liam bankrupted Damien which made him set a lamp on fire, I had to stop playing to help Liam put out the fire, and then Miranda and Calculester played against each other for five hours straight until Polly passed out on the board and we had to call a draw."

"Oh yeah! I remember that!" Zoe snaps, "The jail Miranda and I made was super glittering and had stickers on it! It was amazing!"

"...no Monopoly," Instead of questioning why that's the only thing she remembers, Oz decides to just restate his earlier rule.

"Fiiiiine!" Zoe drawls, "We won't play Monopoly. What about Mario Kart though? We can play that right?"

"As long as you let Damien win once in a while," Oz relents, "If he doesn't win for ten games in a row, he rage quits."

"Yeah, yeah, you're boyfriend's high maintenance. I get it."

"...Do you want to finish decorating the rest of your house by yourself?" Oz deadpans.

"No! I'm sorry! Please keep helping me!" Zoe turns to Oz with a pleading gaze.

"You're not sorry," Is all Oz says monotone.

"Not one bit, but the sentiment's there," Zoe shrugs before going back to pleading, "There's only like four more posters and then we can head to school and see if our cults are behaving."

Oz curses, "I almost forgot about them."

"Oh, don't worry, I'm sure they're doing fine, you were pretty clear in the dos and don'ts of highschool," Zoe smiles genuinely, "You're a really good teacher actually. Which is surprising considering you don't like talking in front of groups."

"W-Well, when you get thrown into uncomfortable situations like that all the time, you have to get used to improvising no matter how uncomfortable you are."

"That really does happen to you often doesn't it?" Zoe laughs.

"What?" Oz tilts his head to the side.

"You get dragged into an adventure every other day," Zoe explains, "I think it's because you're a people pleaser."

"I am not a people pleaser," Oz's eyebrows furrow, "Am I?"

"You totally are!" Zoe nods, "That trip to the ice castle a couple days ago is an example. If it had been anyone else in your place they would have just walked away instead of helping. Well, except for maybe Blobert. Blobert would totally help anyone, no matter who they are."

"Oh my god," Oz ignores the end of Zoe's statement in favor of having a crisis, "I'm a people pleaser."

"Mmm hmm," Zoe nods as she puts her last poster on the wall, "And done! Come on! It's got to be about time to go to school right?"

Oz doesn't answer as he stares at the wall despondent. Zoe rolls her eyes, walks forward, and grabs Oz's hand, "Have a crisis on your own time. I don't want to be late for school!" 

The mention of being late seems to shock Oz out of his trance, "Umm, okay, I guess we'll go…"

"Perfect!" Zoe prepares herself for the drop, and no sooner does everything turn black in the void does she pop out in front of the school.

"There you go…" Oz still doesn't sound that focused.

"Thanks a bunch Oz! I'll see you later alright?" Zoe doesn't wait for an answer as she rushes into the school building to look for members of the cults.

Zoe spots some chatting in front of the bathroom, a couple studying in class, and even one talking to Juan the small magical Latino cat. That's not the real test though. As Zoe approaches her old locker, she slowly opens it up to find… NO DEAD GOATS OR DEER HEARTS!

Before Zoe starts celebrating too soon, she rushes down the hall to Oz's locker. There's always the chance that the cult found out she switched lockers with Oz. Desperately, Zoe puts in the correct lock combination and yanks the metal door open. To her absolute joy, the only thing new in the locker is a couple of love letters from the Interdimensional Prince and offers of conversion to the dark side from Dmitri, both items Zoe throws away quickly.

"HALLELUJAH BABY! THERE ARE NO DEAD ANIMALS IN MY LOCKER ANYMORE!" Zoe's loud cheering and strange words gather a lot of attention, but she could care less. 

Zoe doesn't have to deal with the cult of Z'Gord any longer, or… at least she doesn't until after prom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, just for future reference, if you want me to put your art in the notes and send people over to you, just comment the link.


	43. Don't give slaves parties when you're a tyrant.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter dedicated to Vera, Amira, and assasination attempts.

"So, I've got a new house and I'm totally prepared for game night, party, thing!" Zoe claps and waits for a response.The eldritch abomination of insanity smiles at her friends sitting down in the ampetheater's seats. They seem like they could care less, but Zoe's not going to let that get her down.

Once the amphitheater finally got rebuilt, Zoe practically fell in love with the place. Seriously though, who didn't expect Zoe to enjoy acting? She's a writer, roleplayer, and artist, so acting is just another form of expression to her. However, none of that is why Zoe truly enjoys the spending time in the theater. The real treat for Zoe is the costumes that everyone wears.

When school started back up after Zoe broke it, all the newly enrolled students got their theater costume. Which, sure, the outfits weren't amazing, but they were still pretty awesome in Zoe's book. In fact, Zoe found her's growing on her the more and more she wears it. Sure, being dressed up as a cultist is a bit ironic, but the costume was so well designed Zoe could hardly complain.

The orange and tan cloak she got fit her surprisingly well and the gold accessories certainly reminded Zoe of her old high priest. Plus, how could anybody  _ not _ enjoy having an illuminati belt buckle! It's easy to say that while the theme wouldn't have been Zoe's first choice, the outfit at least suited her enough to roleplay with her friends.

Speaking of her friends, everyone present has their attention directed at Zoe as they process her words. All of the main gang is here except for Oz and Damien. Both monsters who are gone for the same, yet exact opposite reasons. Damien wanted to set fire to a zoo and Oz did not want him to set fire to a zoo. They compromised and decided to just visit a zoo. Zoe figures they have until lunch before Damien gets them both kicked out for trying to fight a bear.

Vera scoffs from behind Scott and Miranda, "Oh, you finally stopped freeloading off of Oz huh?".

"I was not freeloading!" Zoe pouts from her spot, "I got food, shelter, and art supplies in return for being the best roommate ever!"

"I feel like that's the most bullshit thing anyone has ever said to me," Amira snorts from in between Calculester and Polly, "Oz complains about you all the time."

"We're getting off topic!" Zoe stomps her foot, "I was telling you guys how I'm having a game night at my house to celebrate my new move! Let's talk about that, not my roommate rating!"

"I thought we had game nights at Liam's?" Vicky tilts her head towards the vampire beside her curiously.

"We did, but my apartment can't handle another incident with Damien," Liam scowls as if just the thought of Damien being in his home again made him annoyed, "I'll happily hand the host duty over to Zoe if it keeps my things safe."

"See! Liam is totally letting me handle game nights from now on!" Zoe places both her hands on her hips and smirks smugly. It's a good thing she followed Oz's advice and asked Liam about changing the game night venue before telling everyone about it. Otherwise, Zoe probably would be embarrassed at this point, "Now that that's been established, let's get on to when game night is!"

Calculester raises his hand and Zoe stops talking to turn to him, "What is it Cal?"

"Well friend Zoe, I was concerned on whether or not your new home would be suitable to contain all twelve of us."

While Calulester talks, slight whistling and clicking noises comes from the steam pipes and gears inside and outside his chrome frame. As amazing as Calculester's steampunk costume is though, Zoe can't help but be a little annoyed by the incessant sound. She only deals with it because the tiny goggles hanging off the automaton's head are adorable.

"I can definitely fit everybody in my house," Zoe suddenly tunes back into the conversation and, realizing what Calculester said, giggles. She remembers how shocked Oz had been when he first saw her huge living space and she can't wait to see her other friends reactions.

"I believe you misunderstood my query friend Zoe," Calculester shakes his head, "I would like to know if your place of habitance is suitable for the property damage that will surely occur with having us over."

"OH! That's what you meant!" Zoe laughs again, "My new house is pretty much a bunker, so you don't need to worry a single 1 or 0 over property damage in that logical little head of yours okay Cal?"

"This is a suitable response," Calculester nods.

"Okay, back to what I was saying again. Instead of having this month's game night on the third Saturday of the month like usual, we're all going to show up at my house this Saturday!"

"Oh, I can't do that," Miranda frowns, "I have prior engagements."

"Prior engagements?" Scott parrots questioningly, "What does that mean?"

"It's when someone's made plans before another event has been brought to their attention and they're saying that that appointment takes precedence," Liam explains the phrase to Scott.

Despite Liam's intelligent response, Scott still looks confused, "I-I- That was a lot of big words…"

"It just means Miranda's busy this Saturday," Vicky explains with simpler terms.

"Ohhhhhh!" Scott nods in understanding, "I get it now! Thanks Vicky!"

"Happy to help!" Vicky grins.

"Wait, go back," Zoe jumps in, looking towards the merprincess, "What are you doing this Saturday that you can't skip?"

"Royal duties!" Miranda smiles proudly, "Very, very important royal duties!"

"Really?" Amira doesn't sound convinced, "There has to be more than that."

Vera nods, "I agree with Amira. You usually just pawn all your 'royal duties' off on your serfs. Hell, you literally have them eat for you."

"Yeeeeeah," Polly laughs, obviously intoxicated, "You're like… super dependent on them lol."

"I am not!" Miranda protests indignantly.

"No offence Miranda, but you totally are," Amira shakes her head amusedly, "I'm pretty sure the only thing you do yourself is try to get poisoned so a prince will save you."

"When you say it like that it sounds silly, but when my knight in shining armor finally arrives to sweep me off my feet you'll be jealous," Miranda pouts.

"So what are you trying this week," Vera rolls her eyes, "Are you going to get hair extensions and lock yourself in a tower or prick your finger and sleep for a couple weeks?"

"For your information, what I have to do this Saturday has nothing to do with picking out a proper lover," Miranda's attitude shifts from annoyed to excited as she continues, "There's been talk of a revolt in my castle's court the last few days, so I plan on putting a stop to it before it begins by throwing my serfs a wonderful party! I'm sure they'll appreciate how much I care for them and be completely free of any… rebellious ideas. It'll have food, dancing, and balloons! Oh, don't forget games! I absolutely love party games!"

"You plan on throwing your serfs a party so they don't try and revolt against you?" Vera snorts, "Okay, I'll bite. If you're here with us right now, how are you planning such a  _ wonderful _ royal swaray?"

"It's actually quite simple," Miranda smiles, "I have some of my most favored serfs planning the event along with building the venue by hand. Renting some old building simply wouldn't do so I gave them the materials to build a ballroom exactly how I want it! They'll have to work nonstop for the entire week with no breaks to finish it on time, but I'm sure they'll appreciate it when the time comes to party!"

"Yikes," Amira winces, "Are you sure that's the best way to stop your serfs from trying to overthrow you?"

"Well of course it is!" Miranda claps her hands, "If you don't believe me, just talk to Mr. Pheel the Eel, my singing serf."

Just as Miranda finishes talking, a cute yellow and blue eel swims through the air towards the groups with a smile. The eel manifests a tiny maraca out of nowhere and a tiny rattling sound can be heard from his movements.

"My princess!" Mr. Pheel the Eel cheers, "Do you wish for me to sing songs with you again? You know how much I just  _ LOVE _ to hear your voice!"

"Oh you!" Miranda giggles and places a hand over her mouth, "While I hate to disappoint you by not allowing you to serve me, I don't actually need you here for singing!"

"Hmm? Then what is it you need my majesty?" Mr. Pheel asks happily, "Whatever it is, I'd just love, love, love to help you! It's my entire purpose in life to serve you after all!"

"Well, I was telling my friends here about my plan to throw you serfs a party," Miranda pauses for just a moment, waiting for something.

"Oh yes! That amazing plan you came up with to keep us servants under control and free of rebellious thoughts! The best plan ever in my opinion!"

Miranda smiles, looking satisfied with Mr. Pheel's words, "Exactly! That's the plan I was talking about. I need you to tell my friends how amazing the party I'm planning is!"

"Of course!" Mr. Pheel smiles, "Princess Miranda's party is going to be absolutely wonderful! There's going to be definitely not poisoned punch, dagger throwing at blindfolded princesses, and a suspiciously large cake that could be filled with lots of weapon holding assassins! What else could a party need?"

Everyone in the group shares a concerned glance at the eel before turning to Miranda. The princess doesn't even look phased by Mr. Pheel's suspicious words. 

"Oh, that sounds wonderful!" Miranda smiles, "Even I simply cannot wait for this party!"

"You're joking right?" Vera hisses, "You seriously aren't going to even react to what he just said? Those were blatant threats on your life!" 

"Blatant threats on my life?!" Miranda yelps, "No, no, no, no! You must have heard what Mr. Pheel said incorrectly!"

"Uh, I'm pretty sure we didn't," Even Brian seems a little concerned at this point as he glares at the eel floating mid-air and glancing around sketchily.

"Mr. Pheel said that he was going to make sure nobody spikes the punch, we'll get to play the royal version of pin the tail on the donkey, and that we'll be having a giant cake to eat at the end of the night!" Miranda reworks Mr. Pheel's words with a smile.

"Oh… that makes more sense," Vicky nods.

Scott, who was waiting for Vicky's reaction, nods too, "I totally agree!"

"Perfectly understandable," Liam also nods, "Royals do have strange traditions and phrases."

"I guess if it makes sense to you," Brian shrugs.

"I find many disturbing insinuations behind that eel's words, but I will assume my protocol that demands for me to submit to peer pressure and agree with my friends," Calculester digitally smiles.

Amira and Vera don't say anything, preferring to stare at Mr. Pheel suspiciously. However, before either monster can come to a conclusion about the slimy serpent, Zoe pipes up.

"Hmph. I guess we can't have game night this Saturday then," Zoe pouts, "Miranda's our friend so we can't just leave her out. I guess I'll just have to wait a few weeks to show you guys my new place. I'll also have to text Oz the change of plans, but I guess it'll be fine."

With those words, Zoe whips out her phone from her pocket and rushes away, typing like her life depends on it. 

"Hmm, I guess I should be going too," Liam stands up, "There's Monstagram photos to be taken elsewhere. Brian, do you mind coming with me? You're taller so you can get better angles than me."

"Liar!" Vicky giggles, "You want Brian to come with you because everytime you walk outside of the school you somehow get hit with a football, but if Brian goes out with you he always catches it before it hits you!"

"Did somebody say football?!" Scott looks very interested.

Brian ignores Scott to nod at Liam, "Sure, I'm good with helping whenever."

"Woah! Back it up!" Polly suddenly looks much more sober, "Liam getting hit with a football? I am sooooooo in for that!"

"Just because it's happened more than once does not mean it's a common occurrence!" Liam shouts, looking very flustered by the topic at hand.

"I sadly cannot back that up with data friend Liam," Calculester jumps in, "After compiling all the times in which this event has taken place, I have found that anytime you are outside, there is a 25.678% chance of you getting hit with a football. There is an even higher chance of 30.876% chance you will be hit by a flying object that is not a football. Of course, both these percentages go down to 5% likely whenever Brian is around because he somehow always manages to intercept the objects flying towards your head."

"That's it, I'm leaving!" Liam starts out of the theatre without even taking his costume off. Polly, Scott, Vicky, and Brian follow behind the vampire like an entourage. All of them have also not taken off their costumes.

"Hmm, I guess I'll be taking my leave as well," Miranda stands up and brushes off her lemon yellow dress elegantly, "I'll be taking off this dress backstage if anyone needs me."

Vera, Amira, and Mr. Pheel the eel to watch as Miranda carefully lifts her dress off the ground before strutting towards the backstage door. Regal as always, some of the lesser students step out of her way. Hell, some even bow. Amira has to resist the urge to call them simps. It only takes a few seconds for Miranda to disappear behind closed doors and once she's gone, Amira turns to Mr. Pheel with a less than friendly stare.

"So-"

"Okay, now that that wretched tyrant's gone we can  _ really _ talk about this little serf party she has me planning," Mr. Pheel the eel cuts Amira off to do something extremely surprising.

The eel's once charming smile turns sharp and dastardy, his eyes turn blood red with hatred, and the most scary thing of all is that the cheery eel's maraca is replaced with an extremely sharp switchblade. It's easy to say that Amira instantly feels threatened.

"What… the… fuck," It's even easier to say she's more shocked that afraid considering what school she goes to.

"I agree," Is all Vera says, staring at Mr. Pheel the eel with a well hidden surprise.

"I know that my charade is fooling, but I'm not eel I look like. Just as I don't believe you're the friends Miranda thinks you are," Mr. Pheel floats closer to a frozen Djinn and gorgon. His voice isn't cheery anymore. It's deep and hateful, "You see the injustice that the Vanderbilt family uses to attack its own subjects, do you not?"

"Look, you little slimy bastard! I don't know who you think you are, but-"

"Yes," Amira's spiel gets cut off by Vera.

Amira sends the gorgan a 'what the hell' look, only for Vera to glare back at her. Amira catches the meaning and lets Vera take the lead. She usually knows what she's doing.

"I KNEW IT!" Mr. Pheel laughs maniacally, "You both have intelligent eyes! I could tell you were only surrounding that royal dunce with fake friendship to destroy her empire."

"Of course," Vera smiles smoothly, "Why else would we stay around SUCH an airhead."

Having known Vera for a long time, Amira can easily tell the gorgon is lying her head off. The subtle way she taps her knee, the way her eyes gleam predatorily, and her smile being just a little too sharp are her only tells. They'd be completely ignorable to anybody who hadn't spent hours trying to figure out if their flirting is working or not. Yeah, Amira might be a little bit obsessed. 

"I… umm… feel the same way about Miranda!" Amira tries to think of something Miranda's done that's pissed her off before. The best lies have some truth to them, "Did you know she has a carriage completely covered in glitter! It's practically a torture machine considering you'll never get the glitter off you! It's like she's trying to claim people as her own with glitter! It never goes away either! It just lives on you for the rest of your life!"

Amira lets real frustration fill her words as she remisces on the glitter that covered her entire body after a ride in the dumb thing. Honestly, Amira hopes whoever designed that dumb ride has a V.I.P ticket go the deepest pits of Hell. She might be being a little melodramatic, but Amira despises glitter with every fiber of her being.

"...Uh…" Amira looks up to see both Vera and Mr. Pheel staring at her with something akin to confusion and surprise.

Amira coughs, "I mean… yeah… she's pretty horrible to her serfs and crap."

Mr. Pheel's eyes light up as he swipes his blade around excitedly, "YES! YOU SEE HOW HORRIBLE SHE IS! NOW HELP ME  **KILL** HER!"

"WHAT?!"

"Excuse me, what?"

Both Amira and Vera are taken aback by Mr. Pheel's request for help in murdering Miranda. Both of them expected the tiny eel to want something along the lines of help escaping his captor, or freeing his friends. They did not think he would want straight up off her; although the switchblade should have been a give away.

Mr. Pheel takes the two's surprise the wrong way as his eyes soften in sympathy, "Ah, you probably haven't had to kill someone before have you? I understand the difficulty in taking a life for the first time, but you don't need to worry. I have people to do the dirty work for me."

Ever the information gatherer, Vera ignores the unintentional insult about how she supposedly never killed anyone in favor of narrowing her eyes, "Then why would you reveal your plans?"

"I'm not revealing my plan!" Mr. Pheel laughs, "I just saw both of you and considered that we had similar interests! I wanted to give you reassurance that Miranda's tyrannical reign will soon end. Not long after her death and we will then take on the Vanderbilts as a whole! By midnight Saturday, Princess Vanderbilt will have a  **_BULLET THROUGH HER GODDAMN SKULL!"_ **

"Holy fucking hell!" Amira whispers under her breath as Mr. Pheel goes completely batshit crazy.

"SINGING SERF!" Across the grounds, Miranda's melodic voice calls out from behind stage.

Mr. Pheel the eel calms down in an instant. His eyes go back to normal, his teeth dull, and his maraca is back in its original place. There's no switchblade in sight.

"Coming my princess!" Mr. Pheel sounds almost like an excited child when he responds to Miranda's call. Before leaving, the eel turns back to Amira and Vera with an innocent smile, "Long live the rebellion!"

As Mr. Pheel the eel swims/floats away, Amira and Vera share a glance. They refrain from talking until the eel causing their confusion is backstage with Miranda and their singing can be heard from outside.

"Okay, what the hell was that and what do we do now?" Amira turns to Vera for guidance.

"It seems there's about to be an assassination attempt on Miranda's life," Vera frowns, "And we don't know how to stop it."

"There has to be something we can do!" Amira exclaims, "We're not just going to sit around and let her get killed right?!"

"Just give me a damn second to think!" Vera hisses, placing her fingers against her temple.

"Shit," Amira stands up from her seat and starts pacing back and forth, "We can't bribe the other serfs because they might be in on ths rebellion and warn that stupid eel. We can't tell Miranda because she either won't believe us or have a breakdown over it. We don't have enough evidence to go to the principal, and we certainly don't have enough pull to warn the Vanderbilt family directly. Shit, shit, shit!"

"Calm down!" Vera pauses her thinking to hiss at Amira, "Panicking will get us nowhere!"

"Yeah, you're right, you're right. I've got to calm down…" Amira stops pacing to slow her breathing and relax. She sits back down next to Vera and takes on a similarly thoughtful expression, "What about if we kill the eel?"

"Not a long term solution," Vera frowns, "This might not be a one man job."

"So we need to get a mole on our side?"

"Preferably, but we can't trust any of Miranda's serfs anymore," Vera scowls.

"Do you think we could get Miranda to tell us which of the serfs she trusts the most and ask them to spy for us?" Amira questions.

"Can't. Miranda's not a reliable source of credibility. Plus, if the serf is loyal to Miranda, that eel's probably going to extra lengths to keep them out of the loop."

"Damn it… What if-" Amira's eyes get huge and she gasps, "I've got it!"

"What?" Vera tilts her head towards Vera.

"I'll ask Miranda if I can help her plan her party!" Amira smiles in victory.

"There's no way that would work," Vera frowns.

"Why?" Amira stops celebrating to look at Vera, fully prepared to be shut down with a reasonable explanation.

"Because- You can't- It's highly unlikely-" Vera has several more false starts before she stops trying to protest and smirks, "That might just actually work."

"YES!" Amira pumps her fist in the air, "I'll ask Miranda to let me help and tell Mr. Pheel the eel that I hate Miranda so much I couldn't  _ not _ help him with his plan! The fish seems just egotistical enough to fall for it!"

"This might actually work," Vera smiles wickedly, "Well, what are you waiting for Amira! Go become a spy for me!"

"You got it hotstuff!" Without waiting to see Vera's response to her nickname, Amira sprints across the dirt ground in her mage outfit and bursts into the dressing room, "Miranda!"

Miranda stops watching a pair of her non-eel serfs fold her theater costume and put it up to turn towards Amira, "Yes?"

"Can I help you plan your party?" Amira smiles and lays her charisma on thick, "It just sounds so much fun and I really think your serfs deserve a night of fun!"

"You want to help me?!" Miranda buys the djinn's act full heartedly and smiles giddily, while Mr. Pheel stares at Amira curiously, "Of course you can! I'm sure you help and advice will be invaluable! I mean, Vera talks about it all the time, so you surely must be a fountain of knowledge!"

"Vera talks about me?" Amira momentarily gets distracted.

"Of course! All the time! Would you like to know what she says?" Miranda tilts her head to the side.

Amira has to fight herself to say no and get back on topic, "Actually, can we talk about that later? I really want to know how I can help with your serf party."

"Ah, yes! Silly me, getting off topic," Miranda giggles, "Truly, even someone as great as me can get off track. Just showing my weaknesses proves how humble I am, don't you think?"

"Uh, yeah, whatever," Amira could care less about Miranda's little blue blood thing. She just wants some deets so she can stop an assasination, "Can you just get back to where I need to be and when?"

Miranda claps her hands and a little penguin waddles forward happily, "My schedule serf will tell you everything you need to know. Now I'm sorry to say farewell, but there's a group of suitors I'm due meeting at twelve!"

"Don't worry, I'm sure this wittle cutie can help me out," While she's talking, Amira crouches down so she's eye level with the penguin. Amira doesn't even realize she's using baby talk as she smiles, "You seem very smart after all!"

"Of course he his! If he wasn't I would have gotten rid of him long ago. Not that there weren't a few close calls," The latter part of Miranda's sentence gets darker in tone, but she bounces back to her normal cheerfulness with a small smile, "I really must be going now though. Ta ta!"

Miranda spins on her heels and skips away, humming merrily. Amira stands up and turns around long enough to wave, "Bye! I'll probably see you later."

The princess doesn't respond so Amira decides she doesn't hear her. Once the princess is out of sight, the fiery djinn turns back to her penguin friend. Only to star down the barrel of a gun pointed at her nose. The bearer of the firearm is the exact penguin that looked harmless earlier.

"H-Hey there little bud," Amira slowly steps back and puts her hands in the air, "Whatcha got there?"

"You're an ally of the Vanderbilt family," The penguin with a gun declares to no one in particular, "That means you have loyalties to my target and can get in my way. Nobody gets in my way."

"Woah there!" Amira tries to deesulate things as quickly as possible, "I don't know what you think I'm trying to do, but I'm pretty sure it's not what you're thinking!"

"Really?!" The penguin somehow manages to let out a noise similar to a growl, "Because it looks like you're sticking your nose in places where it doesn't belong. If you know what's good for ya, you'll turn around and pretend this conversation never happened. Oh, and you'll make sure to tell Miranda you want off party planning duty. I didn't kill her old serf and take his place for nothing girl! This job is of utmost importance to the cause!"

Amira's conflicted. She can't very well walk away with this being her only way to play spy, but the djinn is also very fond of keeping her shull bullet free. Oz and some of her other friends might be bulletproof, but Amira is NOT! Just before Amira resolves to retreat in the hopes of fighting another day, a familiar eel comes out of nowhere and slowly lowers the gun pointed at her. This is especially amazing because the eel has to appendages to do it with.

"Calm down soldier. This is a friend, not a foe," Despite knowing the eel's trying to kill one of her friends, Amira is grateful for the intervention. 

"Huh?" The penguin looks confused, "But she's trying to get on party duty commander?! Why else would anybody WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN THIS HELL WILLINGLY?!"

With the gun out of her face, Amira feels a lot let tongue tied and jumps in to bullshit her way out of this predicament, "After hearing Mr. Pheel's passionate desires to stop the Vanderbilt monarchy, I couldn't just stand by! I decided that I'd try to get on the party planning squad so I could help do the dirty work myself!"

Amira thinks she sounded pretty convincing, so when she turns to Mr. Pheel and the gun wielding penguin beside him, she expects them to be completely convinced. However, instead of instantly jumping on board the Amira train, the two aquatic creatures just share a glance before their gazes harden.

"You don't think we're that stupid do you?!" The penguin snarls, "We're not gullible just because we're small sea creatures. It's obvious you're trying to double cross us."

"Yeah," Mr. Pheel nods violently, "I think I misjudged you. You're probably some anarchist that just likes the idea of chaos and doesn't actually believe in the cause, or worse, you may be a guard sent by the Vanderbilts to scope out the suspicions of a rebellion! I'll throw you in the electric chair for trying to decieve us!"

"W-What?!" Okay, shit. Amira wasn't that convincing. Best thing to do now is damage control, "I'm no spy! No way! Never! I'm just on of Miranda's-"

"PFT, HA!" Mr. Pheel and his penguin buddy burst into laughter, "We're joking, we're joking!"

"...what?" Amira is perplexed by the turn of events.

"Sorry, it's just," Mr. Pheel sobers up enough to look solemn, "We don't get to have much fun around here if we don't joke."

Well, fuck. It's not like Amira's not super depressed and guilty now for not stopping  _ some _ of Miranda's abuse. 

"It's fine! I just got worried I was going to have to prove myself or something!" Amira tries to hide the fact she almost told them the only reason she wanted in was to save Miranda when she panicked.

"You've already proved yourself enough comrade," The penguin tucks away his gun and chuckles, "Just knowing you'd still be willing to join us after I pointed a gun at your skull was enough proof."

Amira has to suppress a sigh of relief, "Thank you so much for letting me help  _ you _ ! What do you want me to do? I'll get it done as fast as possible! Do I need to kill a royalist, maybe off a bunch of snitches, or… do you want me to go do the big job myself?"

"What?" Mr. Pheel looks taken back, "I was just thinking we'll use you as a spy."

"...A spy?" Well isn't that a horrible position to be in considering all Amira already one on the eel in front of her.

"Yes, you see my train of thought is…" Mr. Pheel suddenly glances at thr

E penguin beside him, "Do you mind leaving Felipe?"

The penguin, now known as Felipe, nods, "Yes sir! I'll be gone. Tell me if you need backup or if little red here tries to pull a fast one on ya."

Felipe waddles away adorably, his gun nowhere in sight, but certainly there. When the tiny penguin makes it to the door that's far too tall for him. He jumps up in place over and over again trying to reach the nob. After Amira watches this for a couple of minutes she decides to step in and help the poor guy out. She struts over, opens the door, and waits for Felipe to be all the way out before closing it. Amira has to stifle a chuckle at the fact the gun wielding bird couldn't open a door.

"Now then!" Mr. Pheel's eyes glow crimson as Amira turns to look at him, "You're job is to make sure this party goes the way we want it! Specifically the way that ends up with a princess shaped chalk outline on the concrete surrounded by police."

"Y-Yeah?" Amira doesn't think she'll ever get used to the bright glowing eyes, "What does that mean you want me to do?"

"Miranda thinks you're her friend. Keep her thinking that way," Mr. Pheel laughs, "Just make sure she doesn't pay too much attention to the party planning. Especially the cake."

Amira decides to kick her acting into first gear and get into character. The djinn channels her inner revolutionist and smirks, "Of course. We don't want her figuring out the  _ surprise _ too soon, right?"

"HA!" Mr. Pheel smiles as he starts to leave, "She'll be lucky if she even makes it to the cake."

When the evil eel is far out of sight, Amira lets her mask drop and dread settle in. If Mr. Pheel was implying what he thinks he was implying, this was going to be difficult. Amira and Vera didn't need to just stop one assasination attempt, they needed to stop multiple. All over the course of one party.

Amira calmly, as calm as she can manage, starts back out into the amphitheater to report back her findings to a certain gorgan only to find no Vera in sight. In tune with Amira's rising panic, the djinn's phone beeps. Mostly on autopilot, Amira takes out the device and checks it. The instant she reads her new message, she slouches in relief. After seeing Miranda walking off alone in circumstances like these, Vera smartly decided to trail her just in case. The gorgan says they'll talk about what happened and their next steps at lunch.

...

"We're what?!" Vera almost spits out her drink when Amira finishes talking.

"The way that sea worm was talking, it sounds like the whole party is just going to be a set up to kill Miranda," Amira scowls, "I don't doubt Miranda's serfs will take every opportunity to kill her. We're looking at poisoned punch, accidental pushes down the stairs, maybe even a sniper if the fact they have guns means anything. This whole thing is a tomb for royalty and Miranda's walking in like a neon orange deer during hunting season."

"Dammit, this is terrible," Vera hisses, "Why did I let that pretty pink daddy's girl worm her way into my heart?! Now I have to keep her from getting fucking assasinated not once, but consecutively throughout the course of a week."

"I get the feeling," Amira frowns, "I almost got shot in the head because I'm watching out for her."

"Yes, thank god your charisma and charm come in handy for acting. You have a natural talent for stopping people from killing you," Amira might be imagining things, but Vera almost sounds… fond?

"Well that's only because I have a natural skill of attracting trouble." 

Amira almost adds, "Trouble like you," to be flirty, but concedes that this isn't the time for her normal antics. 

"That you do," Vera doesn't even sound annoyed, so that's a win in Amira's book.

"Okay, so I told you everything mister switchblade told me. What do we do now?"

"Well,  _ I'll  _ be doing quite a lot," As Vera talks, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out her phone, "I'm going to spread word in the underground and see if any of my informants have anything on this little uprising. I might even send a couple of my guys to 'investigate' some of the assassins for hire that are known to show up to these types of shindigs. While that's happening, I'm going to photoshop some very convincing pro-monarchy propaganda to slip into Miranda's little slave circle and see what bakeries nearby are scheduled to be making big cakes. You'll do what Mr. Pheel said and stay close to Miranda."

"You want to just hang around Miranda and hope to learn more about the party?" Amira doesn't even sound accusing, she's genuinely asking. She trusts Vera with this type of thing more than anybody else, but that doesn't mean she doesn't want an explanation for her job.

"Partly," Vera looks up from her phone to pinch her nose, "But I also want you to make sure that sparkly pink goldfish Miranda doesn't get herself stabbed because she thinks she's playing a game."

"So I've been upgraded to spy and bodyguard," Amira tee's teases, "What's next? Do you want me to try and kill the leader?"

"I mean…" Vera purses her lips, "If the opportunity arises where you can off him without being a suspect, I don't see why not."

"Huh," Amira didn't expect Vera to actually give her permission, but the djinn doesn't waste time. She instantly starts trying to think of how she would kill the fish if she could, "I bet I could convince Oz to make me grilled eel at his place if I provide him with the ingredients."

Vera's eyes blow wide, "I said to kill him if the opportunity arises! I didn't tell you to try sashimi!"

"I know, I know!" Amira lifts up her hands in a sign of surrender, "I was just thinking of how to dispose of the body if I did kill him!"

"So your go to plan was to eat him?" Vera raises an eyebrow at Amira.

"He's a fish! What else am I supposed to do?" Amira throws her arms in the air, "Put him in the cafeteria fridge so somebody  _ else _ eats him?"

"Okay, let's skip the details of hiding bodies," Vera rolls her eyes, "I much rather you just go take care of Miranda."

"She's not even here right-" 

"Right behind you," Amira smirks.

"Amira!" The fiery djinn whips around to see Miranda making her way over to Vera and her table.

Amira recovers from her shock just in time to greet the princess, "Hey Miranda! What are you doing here?"

"I hope it's not to talk to me," Vera deadpans.

Miranda's smile doesn't dim for a second, "Oh Vera, as much as I love our little squabbles about the proper torture techniques and my strategies to get betrothed, I'm here to talk to Amira! You see, she volunteered to help me plan the party I'm having for my serfs!"

"Oh, she did? That's new news," Vera lies, "Well, since I hate listening to you talk about proper silverware and such, I think I'll be leaving now. I'm a very gorgon person you know."

"Bye hotstuff!" What? Even if things are super serious right now, Amira's gotta stay in character right?

"Farwell Vera!" Miranda sits down beside Amira as Vera stands up, "As the future heir to the Merkingdom, I am always busy. I understand the strain just as much as you! Now go, Amira and I will be fine on our own!"

Miranda doesn't realize Vera's long gone since Amira waved her off. The reason she doesn't realize is because of how quickly she turns to Amira and grabs her hands.

"There are multiple things I would like to discuss with you," Miranda starts off quickly.

"What do you want to talk about?" A small part of Amira, no matter how unlikely the possibility is, hopes Miranda figured out the rebellion thing on her own.

"Well, I would like to take a more active role in this party planning thing, but I need the voice of a peasant to advise me on what's enjoyable to dirty peasants."

"Hey! I am not a dirty peasant!" Amira's hair flares up with her indignation.

"Of course not!" Miranda shakes her head, "If you were a dirty peasant I wouldn't ve sitting next to you, or be at the same table altogether. You're just the closest thing to one I have right now."

Miranda's words calm Amira down a little bit. Not much, but enough.

"Good. Because I am not dirty. I am poor as I'll get out, but I am not dirty," Amira scoffs, "Now, what did you want to ask me?"

"I'll start off with this," Miranda scoots closer to Amira, "Is the game truth or dare a political game used to trick leaders into signing an oath to give away secrets and land?"

"What? No, it's a game-" Amira stops when she remembers Miranda's asking for her party. A party where everyone present would just love to dare Miranda to jump off a roof, "Actually, I'm pretty sure that game was created by the Air people for that exact reason."

"I knew it!" Miranda grins, "I'll never play one of those sky loving hippies' games. Next question, do peasants have-"

This goes on for a while. Miranda asks Amira a question, Amira decides whether or not the questions could possibly hurt Miranda in the future, and then answers accordingly. They also end up creating one of the safest parties ever. The only food they'll be serving is canned goods and charcoal laced punches, the best activity planned is a competition to see who can pop the most bubble wrap, and the dress code is for everyone to wear knee pads and helmets. It's easy to say that Amira's feeling pretty good about keeping things safe on her end.

"Oh! We've just been making so much progress lately I want to sing!" Miranda smiles, "Actually, I think I might just sing to congratulate the both of us on such hard work! SINGING SERF!"

"No, no, no, no, no," Amira whispers under her breath, hoping that Mr. Pheel doesn't come to Miranda's call.

Sadly, the eel does show up, and Amira is put on the spot again because she somehow has to act like she's acting while acting. Christ, when did her life turn into a knock off action sitcom? 

"Mr. Pheel! Help me sing!" Miranda orders as she stands up from her seat.

"Yes your highness!" Mr. Pheel gets out his maraca and starts shaking it, and as wary of the eel as Miranda is, she can't help being impressed by his maraca skills.

"~La la la! Oh!" Miranda starts singing a strange parody of Under the Sea from the little mermaid, "The seaweed is always greener; in a democratic state; But loyal serfs all love my...; exceedingly high tax rates! Under my rule… Under my rule! Serflings know better; they'll serve me forever; NOW GO EAT YOUR GRUEL!"

(Just so you guys know, I didn't make that up. It is literally in the game)

That wasn't a mildly concerning song at all. Nope, that didn't send up any red flags whatsoever. The students around Amira and Miranda's table seem to think the same thing because most of them applaud. Seriously, not a single thing was wrong with that tune other than how criminally awesome that harmony was.

"Oh thank you all!" Miranda sends everyone around her a princess wave before touching her throat, "Hmm… my throat is quite parched from the amazing singing I just did."

Miranda claps her hands and a serf pops up from nowhere, "Yes your majesty, here's your glass of water."

The 'glass of water' is actually an intricate goblet made out of crystal on a velvet pillow. However, despite the fancy presentation going on in front of her, Amira finds her eyes glued to the floating eel a few feet away. Mr. Pheel notices the attention and turns to make eye contact with the djinn. Instead of ignoring her like Amira expected, Mr. Pheel smirks at her before nodding to the goblet of water Miranda's taking from her serf. When Amira glances at the glass and turns back to Mr. Pheel, the eel winks before rushing away.

Miranda lifts the goblet off the fancy pillow it was on and starts to bring it to her mouth. Her serf doesn't seem to look nervous or tense so Amira isn't actually sure if the water's poisoned or if Mr. Pheel was joking again. Still, Amira decides not to take chances.

"WAIT MIRANDA!" Amira's shout makes the princess pause, just as she's about to take a sip. 

"What is it Amira? Do you need something?" Miranda asks.

"Why are you drinking water when you have drinking serfs to do it for you?" Is the only excuse Amira manages to come up with in the moment. 

However, despite the last second idea, the reason seems to be enough for Miranda if her eyes blowing wide are any indication.

"You're right! Why am I doing this when I have a perfectly good serf to do it for me!" Miranda claps her hands and another serf pops out of nowhere. At this point Amira takes a second to look under the table to see if Miranda just hides them there.

"What is it you need, princess?" The serf sounds nervous.

"I almost drank this water when I have a perfectly good serf to drink it for me," Miranda shoves her goblet of water into the younger looking serf's hands. The serf seems confused on what to do, so Miranda explains, "Drink the water for me! Every last drop. I want my throat to stop feeling dry."

The serf follows Miranda's orders reluctantly, only looking more confused by Miranda's wording. Once the first few drops of water hit the girl's lips, she starts chugging. Whether it's because she was actually thirsty or if the water had some type of magic spell in it, she goes at that goblet of liquid like Damien goes to Oz. It only takes a few seconds for the serf to finish the glass and then sigh in satisfaction. The look of satisfaction doesn't last long though, because the glass goblet hits the ground and shatters into one hundreds of pieces. The serf that dropped the glass's face suddenly turns purple and she clutches at her neck. It takes half the time it took for the water to get drunk for the girl to fall over on the floor, dead.

"Oh my, what was that?" Miranda looks relatively concerned.

"Heh hehe," Amira laughs awkwardly, "She must have had some type of genetic disease in her family or something Miranda. Damn serfs and them getting sick and crap. Am I right Miranda?"

"A genetic disease?" Miranda looks concerned before her eyes light up, "Oh, of course! I figured out! That poor girl didn't die out of nowhere because of a silly sickness! Those awful Air people scum must have done this! How dare they poison me!"

"Uhhhhhhhh."

Should Amira tell Miramda she's wrong or just go along with it?

"Yeah, sure. Air people poison, that's what it was. How absolutely awful is it that they would do that?" Guess what Amira chose to do.

"It's terrible!" Miranda squawks, "But, barely the worst they've done to us! They've made my father come to their capital before and sit through these boring things called diplomatic meetings, tried to get  _ our _ subjects to go to their kingdom for something called cultural sharing, and the worst thing of all is that at their last peace talk, one of their little 'employees' spilled wine on my dress and they wouldn't even let me decapitate then!"

"That… sounds… terrible?"

"It is, but let's not talk about those selfish human chickens right now," The hateful look Miranda put on when talking about her kingdom's enemies melts away to reveal giddiness, "Amira, you saved me from dying like that pitiful serf lying on the ground! As the future queen of my kingdom, I must reward your loyalty to me! What do you want as retribution for your actions? I can get you knighted, or I could get you front row tickets to my kingdoms next court trial."

Amira has a feeling that court trials just means a lot more decapitation and torture set in light of doing good so she decides not to accept anything. Maybe Miranda will just think she's humble.

"Miranda, saving your life is enough of a reward to me! You don't need to give me anything! I already have the best thing ever… your friendship," When all else fails, sound sappy as hell and let the pins get knocked down by themselves.

"Awwww," Miranda coos with a pleased smile larger than life, "Of course someone as smart as you would realize how amazing I am as a friend! I'm so amazing that I simply must reward you for your efforts no matter how much you say otherwise!"

That didn't work out the way Amira wanted it. Usually that works.

"However, since you are too humble to think up a prize for me to give you, I'll choose for you," Miranda bounces in place as she looks thoughtful.

"Miranda. I can't take anything from you just because I saved your life!" Amira desperately tries to dissuade Miranda from giving her something.

"Yes you can!" Miranda declares, "Just let me think of what…"

"My dearest princess!" One of Miranda's serfs rushes up to her from some undisclosed location, "We've had some problems with the party venue!"

"That's it!" Miranda's eyes light up, "Since you saved my life, I'll move the party from Saturday to tomorrow and make you the guest of honor!"

"TOMORROW?!" Both Amira and her serf that just came up cry out in shock.

"B-But my majesty, the giant ballroom you've been having is only halfway done! How are we to finish it by tomorrow?!" The serf cries.

"Hmm? I was told the venue would be finished by today," Miranda frowns, "What has caused a delay?"

"U-Uh, nothing m'lady," The serf squeaks, "It's just implausible for it to get finished in under a week. The serfs need to eat, sleep, and-"

"Oh deary me," Miranda interrupts, "There's the problem right there! Stop those silly worker serfs from sleeping and eating right now! It is urgent that this building gets finished before sundown tomorrow! From this point forward, anyone caught sleeping, eating, or taking a break will be found with treason for disobeying my orders."

"My majesty, I-I really don't think that you understand-"

"Be quiet! I did not ask for your opinions!" Miranda exclaims, "Go and fulfill my orders! GO!"

At Miranda's dark tone, her serf scurries away as quickly as possible. The moment the serf is out of sight, Miranda turns back to Amira with a sigh and smiles.

"Serfs are so hard of hearing sometimes," She laughs.

"Yep, serfs be crazy," Amira laughs along with Miranda awkwardly before getting serious, "So… now that I'm the guest of honor, what do I do?"

"Oh! It's quite simple you see," Miranda starts, "Instead of helping plan the party, you get to just come along as a guest and experience it. It will be fun. I promise!"

"Yeah… fun."

"Now, please come along! Since you are my guest of honor, you get to come help me watch over the serfs working. If we're lucky, we'll get to see one fall asleep and then get dragged away to the dungeon to get his limbs chopped off and then thrown into the tank of orcas!"

"As excited as I am to watch _ … _ that, would you mind if I just go and make a quick phone call?"

"Of course not!" Miranda smiles, "I will be awaiting you right her so that we may go watch over the peasants."

Without another word, Amira speed walks away and ducks behind the nearest corner, only to run right into a certain evil looking eel.

"Mr. Pheel?!" Amira exclaims, "What are you doing here?!"

"I'm here to congratulate my new comrade on her excellent field work! I was watching you from afar. Since you got the party moved to tomorrow, we'll get to see that scumbag, narcissistic, egotistical, bitch bite the dust faster than what we ever thought possible!" Mr. Pheel laughs and he sounds deranged, "Truly, I thank you for being so loyal to our cause! Consider Miranda's little gift mine as well. You'll be the honored guest when a knife goes through her heart and a bullet through her brain."

"I- uh, don't-"

"You don't need to say anything. I know how exciting this is for all of us, and I just want one of the people responsible to be able to live that excitement out up close!"

"I-" Amira really just wants to get out of this conversation and make a call.

"Well anyways," Mr. Pheel's look changes and he's back to being innocent, "I have a party to plan! See you later friend!"

The fiery djinn is left shocked as she watches Mr. Pheel quickly exits the hallway to go do whatever he needs to do. It takes a few minutes, but when Amira regains her senses, she yanks her phone out of her pocket. Once the phone's out, she looks around to see if anyone's listening before dialing Vera's number. It buzzes a couple of times before the gorgon picks up.

"Why are you calling me right now? I'm rather-"

Amira cuts off Vera's static voice with a quick explanation of what just happened, "Someone tried to poison Miranda, I stopped them, Miranda was so thankful she made me the guest of honor to her party, and now the party's tomorrow. What do we do?!"

"Goddammit Amira! I've only been gone for like thirty minutes!" Vera hisses on the other side of the phone, "All we can do is try and figure out where the party's taking place and-"

"I already got that handled," Amira cuts Vera off yet again, "Miranda's going to take me to where her serfs are building the venue. When we get there I'll just text you the address so you can scope it out yourself."

"Huh, you're really on the ball with this aren't you?" Vera actually sounds impressed, "Well, as long as we know where it's happening at, all you need to do is just sit back and keep Miranda from dying. I'll work on finding out how to get my guys in to infiltrate the party and keep Miranda safe."

Amira sighs in relief, knowing that she hadn't screwed everything up, "Got it. I can handle that. You keep up the good work Vera. What would I ever do without you? Talk to ya later."

Amira hands up the phone and slumps against the wall to soak everything in for a moment. She'll most likely never know that Vera was left a blushing mess on the other side of the phone.

Once her little breather is over, Amira rushes back down the hall to exactly the place where Miranda's still standing. The princess spots her and waves happily.

"Are you ready to go Amira?" 

"Yep, call is done and over!" Amira tries to return a smile to Miranda.

"Excuse me if this is none of my business, but who did you have to call?" Miranda asks curiously.

"Oh, just Vera," The words slip out of Amira's mouth before she can stop them. Miranda is even more curious now, and Amira has to find a reason that she'd  _ need _ to have called Vera, "I was just telling her all about how awesome your party is and everything. She says she wishes she could come."

Miranda's eyes light up, "Vera wants to come to my party!? Tell her she's invited! I'll have two guests of honor!"

Oops, guess Vera just got an invitation to the murder party tomorrow. She's either not going to like it, or love it.

…

"I'm so glad you could make it Vera! This is going to be even more perfect with you here!" Miranda shouts joyously.

Vera, Miranda, and Amira are standing outside of a pink glitter limousine about to head into Miranda's big party, that just so happens to be made in a building very reminiscent of the colosseum. Amira couldn't believe that the whole thing got finished in less than a week. Actually, considering the horrors she witnessed yesterday when the giant structure was getting finished, Amira  _ can  _ believe it.

"Yes, I am  _ so _ excited for this party," Vera sounds like she's trying to act enthused but it's not working. Luckily, she has Amira to make up for her in the acting department.

"Yeah! This is going to be awesome!" Amira pumps her fist in the air.

"Well, awesome depends on how well you planned things," Vera glances at Amira, "If everything sucks, I'm blaming you."

"Hey! I'm a professional party planner, picnic planner, hang out planner, and wedding planner. Don't ask about that last one."

"Whatever," Vera rolls her eyes, but she's smiling, "Can we just go inside already."

"Of course, the party has already started," Miranda grabs both her friends' hands and drags them towards the entrance of the newly constructed building. 

"Woah, slow down there Miranda, where's the fire?" Amira jokes.

"Oh! The bonfire is to the left once we get in. Why? Do you want to see it?" Miranda asks while still dragging her friends along.

"No," Both Amira and Vera's eyes widen as they speak at the same time. 

"Fire's very dangerous indoors," Vera frowns as they get dragged in and there actually is a bonfire inside, "You should make sure your serfs know that."

"Yeah, and we should stay away from it," Amira adds, "Y'know, because of how dangerous it is. It's like the most dangerous thing ever."

Vera levels Amira with an unimpressed stare and whispers, "You do know your hair is made of fire right?"

"Yeah! That's why I'm so sure it's one of the most dangerous things ever!" Amira smirks despite knowing that neither of them is actually that worried about fire indoors, "I have xperience."

"Okay then, no fire. how about I show you the cake my serfs had made for me then? It's supposed to be strawberry with white chocolate frosting!" Miranda doesn't actually give the girls a choice as she drags them towards the humongous cake at the center of the party.

The cake is actually really impressive though. When Amira and Vera see it, they stop in their tracks and just stare at the towering piece of baked goods. It had to be at least fifty layers and the size of a vending machine. The whole thing's it pink with giant candy love hearts all over it. 

However, when the awe passes, suspicion sets in. Amira and Vera send each other a glance before they subtly speak their concerns out loud.

"That cake is really, really, big," Amira observes, "Big enough for a person, or something else to fit inside of."

"Yes," Vera agrees, "The fondant work is also very… particular. Whoever made it was very keen on making sure nobody could see the actual cake underneath."

"What strange observations to make about a cake," Miranda frowns, "Although I guess they are correct. The cake is large and the decorations are done immaculately."

"Yes… that's what we meant to say," Vera nods slowly.

"Hmm, okay then. Well anyways, let's not stand and stare at this cake all night! It's time to have some fun!" Miranda giggles, "I say we go watch the professional knife jugglers first."

"Nope!" Amira says quickly, "Knives are overrated, let's go watch mime."

Despite the instant dread that sets in on Vera's face, she nods, "Yes, let's go watch that mime pretend he's in a box. It's so… great… watching a grown man play make believe."

Miranda somehow doesn't pick up on Vera's facade and nods, "Mime it is then! Let's go!"

That's how most of the night goes. Miranda's two self designated bodyguards direct her away from dangerous activities while keeping watch for attempts on her life, attempts that weren't very well executed. A couple of guests with guns get petrified by Vera, Amira burns a few people with knives, and both the girls keep Miranda from drinking or eating anything at all. Eventually, it actually starts to get boring. 

"I'll bet you fifty that the next person to try and kill her has a gun," Amira crosses her arms as she watches Miranda happily jumping in a bouncy house that got rented for the party.

"I'll bet you sixty they try to kill her by deflating the bouncy house to try and suffocate her," Vera deadpans.

"What if they do that with a gun though?" Amira raises an eyebrow.

"How would that happen?" Vera frowns.

"They shoot the bouncy house with a gun and that puts a hole in it," Amira shrugs.

"That would be a stupid thing of them to do, but if that did happen, then I guess neither of us wod give up our money."

As Miranda continues to bounce, Amira groans, "This is getting so boring! I thought protecting Miranda would be super cool and fun and all that, but it's really just giving people minor burns and warning glares. I mean, I guess this is still fun because I'm hanging out with you, but I really thought Mr. Pheel the eel was a legit threat."

"I don't think the real attempts have even started yet," Vera hisses, "Actually, can you watch over Miranda for a few minutes by yourself. I'm going to go take care of something."

"Fine, be back in fifteen though or I'll think you ditched me," Amira trusts Vera enough to not ask where she's going.

Vera chuckles as she starts walking away, "I'll keep my time limit in mind."

As Amira stands still, she wishes she'd asked Vera for a cigarette before she left. Amira doesn't stay wistful for long though, because a familiar eel shows up in her face with a less than pleased expression. 

"HOLY SHIT!" Amira startles, "Dude! Give me a warning before you pop up in my face like that!"

"That gorgan needs to go," Mr. Pheel scowls, "She keeps turning my men to stone. Get rid of her or keep her on a short leash."

"What?!" Amira's shocked.

"The main event is coming up with the cake cutting, and you need to keep that meddlesome gorgan from stopping it!" Mr. Pheel snarls, "I want Miranda Vanderbilt dead as dirt by the end of the night and that gorgan won't stop us! You hear me!? She won't stop us!"

"Jesus christ, I got it!" Amira exclaims, "No need to flip your shit about it!"

"Good, because we cannot let Miranda leave this building until it's in an ambulance or a hearse!" Mr. Pheel growls.

"Amira! Did you see me in the bouncy-" Miranda rushes up to Amira bur stops when she sees Mr. Pheel with a knife, "Mr. Pheel? Is that you? What are you talking about with Amira and why do you have a weapon?"

"Uh… he… I-" Amira can't think of anything to save Miranda from finding out the truth.

"I was just thanking Amira for helping me set up this amazing party for you, your majesty! We could have never made it this great without her expertise," Mr. Pheel defaults to acting like a children's cartoon character, "Oh, and the knife is for cutting the cake! We were just about to go do it!"

"You're cutting the cake!?" Miranda gasps excitedly, "Hurray! Come one Amira, let's follow Mr. Pheel and watch the cake get cut! I want the first slice!"

"But you don't eat yourself! Your serfs eat for you!" Amira tries to protest.

"Yes! But that doesn't mean I don't deserve the first slice considering I'm the host of the party!" Miranda smiles as she grabs Amira's hand and drags her along. Mr. Pheels smirks as he leads the girls to the big surprise.

As she gets tugged away, Amira desperately tries to search the room for Vera. If the djinn wants to stop whatever assassination attempt is about to happen, then she'll need the gorgan to help her. Luckily, when they make it to the cake, Vera's already there. When she notices Amira and Miranda, she casually strolls up to them with a small smile.

"Seems it's time for cake isn't it?" Vera stands beside Amira.

"Yes!" Miranda claps and she jumps up and down in place, "It is time for the giant cake to be dispersed amongst my subjects so they can share in my excitement."

Miranda keeps talking about the cake, but Amira could care less. She leans over to Vera and starts whispering urgently, "Vera, the cake's a trap! Whatever's inside is going to try and kill Miranda!"

Vera only smirks, "Don't worry. I handled things. Nobody's going to die tonight. Well, nobody I care about is going to die."

A large crowd of serfs surrounds the cake excitedly, although they all give Miranda wide berth as they do so. Amira would say it's because they all know about the trap, but she thinks it's more likely because they're all just afraid of Miranda in general.

"Are you all ready for the big surprise?!" Mr. Pheel shouts over the crowd.

"YES!" Is the overwhelming reply.

"Well then…" Mr. Pheel points his knife to the sky and his eyes turn red, "IT'S TIME BOYS!"

The huge cake explodes outwards showing the whole crowd in frosting and fondant, but no actual cake. Emerging from the cake is a seahorse with a katana, a seagull with a grenade, and an otter with a gun.

"What's going on?!" Miranda cries out in confusion.

Amira grabs the princess's arm, "Miranda, we need to get out of here!"

"What?! Why?!" Miranda doesn't budge from her spot as she's too confused to move.

"BECAUSE THIS IS WHERE YOU-"

Mr. Pheel the eel's confession is cut off by the sea creatures in the cake, "SURPRISE!"

Amira pauses to look back at the creatures in the cake and she freezes, "What the fuck?!"

Instead of the murderous group inside the cake gunning for Miranda, they happily strut up to her with smiles on their face and a pink cake in their hands.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! KILL HER!" Mr. Pheel screams.

The group of animals from inside the cake ignore the screaming eel and drop their weapons before smiling at Miranda, "You planned this amazing party for us so we decided to surprise you and tell you how amazing you are!"

"WHAT?!" Both Miranda and Mr. Pheel shout.

"Oh my goodness! Thank you so much!" Miranda takes the small pink cake from her serfs with a small, "I can't believe you all did this! I don't know why I even thought this party was necessary! You're all obviously loyal to a fault!"

Amira turns to Vera, "What did you do?! How did you do this?!"

"I used my persuasion skills to make the serfs think that Miranda's just an innocent little girl who's a victim of the culture she grew up in and that killing her would be like killing a child. When they looked at it that way they felt so guilty they couldn't go through with their job."

"You… are amazing Vera," Amira laughs, "Oh my god! Only you could pull something like this off!"

"MY PLAN! YOU TRAITORS! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KILL HER! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MURDER HER!" Mr. Pheel shouts, "YOU MAY HAVE BEATEN ME THIS TIME, BUT I'LL BE BACK MIRANDA! I WILL BE BACK!"

Speaking of Miranda, she ignores Mr. Pheel's declaration in favor of helping her serfs cut the cake and passing it out. Mr. Pheel, out of frustration, rushes away.

"Vera, I know I've said this before, but you are the most badass person I know," Amira turns to Vera with a look of awe and deep seated respect, "And that's saying a lot, considering we're both friends with eldritch abominations."

"I wouldn't have even been able to get into the party if it wasn't for you, so don't give me all the credit. We make a satisfactory team," Vera tries to sound dismissive, but the sincerity in her voice bleeds through, "Despite your annoying personality, you do seem to be at least a little competent. I might consider asking for your help in the future."

"Hell yeah!" Amira tugs Vera into a half hug as she pumps her fist into the air, "I am so down for being a crime spy with you. I'm tired of Oz having the largest crime count in our group."

"I said maybe," Vera tries to scowl, but her blush takes away the intimidation.

"Come on hotstuff, don't you  _ like  _ hanging out with me?" 

"Your bearable," Vera breaks away from Amira's hold just as the otter in the cake from earlier approaches them with a single plate of cake.

"Mrs. Oberlin," The tiny otter addresses Vera, "As thanks for stopping us from killing Miranda, we saved you a piece of cake. It's not much, but you stopped us from killing an innocent girl. This is the least we could do."

Vera crouches down elegantly and swipes the cake from the otter, "You aren't kidding this isn't much. I saved you a long lasting guilt about killing a sweet innocent princess, but I guess I shouldn't expect much."

Amira doesn't hide her snort at the notion of Miranda being an innocent little princess. She might be naive, polite, and cute, but Miranda is still a genocidal future tyrant. Still, she's a genocidal future tyrant that's their friend, so whatever. 

The little otter is practically shaking under Vera's powerful gaze. The gorgan glares at the small creature for a bit longer than needed and Amira has a feeling she's doing it because she's amused. Which, when the otter starts glancing around for an escape route, Amira can understand the hilarity.

"Well, what are you still doing here?" Vera asks coldly, "You gave me your cake. Leave."

Like a frightened kitten the otter that was once a threatening assassin scurries away.

"Geez, you scared the shit out of that little guy," Amira deadpans before glancing at the cake in Vera's hand, "Hey, are you actually-"

Vera shoves the place of cake in her hands towards Amira, "Go ahead and eat it."

"SCORE!" Amira digs into the cake with the least amount of manners possible.

When she finishes and looks up at Vera, she has frosting and crumbs on her cheeks. Vera rolls her eyes as she grabs a napkin from a nearby serfs plate and starts to wipe the stuff off.

"Honestly, were you born in a barn?" Vera sighs in exasperation although her gaze is far from annoyed.


	44. Dark Interdimensional Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe: This is the greatest PLAAAAANNNN!

Zoe had a plan, the greatest plan. A plan that shippers would look back on with awe for thousands of years after its executed. Some would call it stupid or highly unlikely to succeed. However, there's no way that Zoe would listen to them over her heart, or hearts… 

Actually, the whole having multiple mortal organs thing changes from day to day, so maybe it's better to say soul. Yeah, Zoe's following her amazing plan and listening to her soul. 

She's got a plan that's sure to get her non-blood brother and his demon crush together. Using her amazing skills of planning and knowledge of common romance tropes, the eldritch being of insanity has made a foolproof strategy to give the two the final push they need to admit their feelings.

Now, Zoe knows that Oz made her promise not to get involved… but Damien did practically give his blessing for her to meddle, so the two requests have to cancel each other out right? Zoe figures that's how promises work, so she makes the logical choice to interfere. Plus, there also might be the fact that Zoe really wants Damien and Oz to get together before they have game night at her new house because how cute would them being boyfriends and teammates be? Absolutely adorable is the correct answer.

"Back to the plan Zoe. Stop getting distracted," Zoe stops her own inner monologue with a self-directed whisper, "I can't let anyone figure out what I'm doing because it'll get back to Oz and he'll sic Dorothy on me."

The thing that Zoe's doing that's so top secret, is her subtle stalking of two particular individuals. Those two monsters just so happen to be Oz and Damien, who are eating in the lunchroom with no clue of Zoe hiding under the table a few dozen feet away from them. Not to say that her entire plan is just stalking. It's mostly stalking, but definitely within the reasonable amount. Afterall, if Zoe just followed the two around all day waiting for some type of random event to push them together, that would be stupid. 

No, Zoe's plan is complicated, ingenious, and almost ready to be put in action. The reason for its complexity belongs to two other monsters. Both having expressed some type of interest in Oz, and while Zoe doesn't approve of either of them or their actions, they're the only people with the right qualifications. Said qualifications being their already mentioned infatuation with Oz and the fact that they piss Damien off to the point he causes much more property damage than normal. 

Gotta guess who she's talking about yet? Yep, one Dmitri and the Interdimensional Prince. 

See, Zoe's amazing, perfect, and flawless plan is to sic two of the most problematic students on Oz at the same time, while Damien is within sight. Hopefully, this will force the love struck demon to get over whatever fear he has of rejection and just confess. It'll be a quick fix. Of course, all that still depends on if Zoe can trick her victims into following her plan without knowing they're following her plan.

The Interdimensional Prince is going to be the easiest of the three to get where Zoe wants. The idiot might be shallow, but he does have a romantic flair that would sweep a lesser monster off their feet. All Zoe has to do is to get the Prince where she wants is offhandedly mention Oz's favorite type of flower while he's in the same room. Then, bing bada BOOM! The idiot will show up in front of two specific pining teenagers with a bouquet of flowers in hand, an arrogant smile, and a marriage contact.

Dmitri's a little harder to predict, but still rather easy in Zoe's opinion. All she has to do to set him up is edit a lot of the Covin clips together to make it seem like the three witches 'betrayed' Oz. Give it five seconds and Dmitri will be rushing to try and convert Oz to the dark side. Zoe already has the video made so all she has to do is post it and send it when the time is right. 

The real tricky part is deciding when the best time is to enact her plan. Zoe thought it would be easy, but the unpredictability of Spooky High is really screwing her over right now. She has to try and keep tabs on Dmitri and the Prince while waiting for the perfect moment to strike, and when Zoe says perfect, she means perfect. It's difficult, but the eldritch being of insanity is prepared. She's been watching Damien and Oz from afar the last four days, but the right moment never comes up.

It's aggravating because there's always something in the way. Sometimes it's Oz's friends, others times it's Damien's, and sometimes random people just make a mess of whatever opportunity Zoe might have had. Say what you might, but Zoe has to be picky with her timing if she wants things to go right. There can't be anybody or anything willing to interfere when her plan is set in motion, not even if the interference has good intentions behind it.

"Ummm, Zo? Whatcha doing down here?" Zoe jerks her head up to see Polly looking at her, also under the table.

"What are  _ you _ doing here?" Zoe parrots.

"No, no, no. I asked first. You have to answer me," Polly pouts, "That's how questions work!"

Zoe debates whether or not she should tell Polly what she's planning. While the ghost in front of her doesn't look very good at keeping secrets, Polly has kept Oz's eldritch identity a secret soooo…

"I'm trying to get Damien to confess to Oz," Zoe whispers back to the ghost excitedly.

"What?!" Polly yelps.

"Shhh! Oz has super hearing! If you're loud he'll figure out I'm here and ask what I'm doing!" 

"You're trying to get Damien and Oz together?!" Polly instantly starts whispering.

"Yeah," Zoe grins, "Damien pretty much said he needed help confessing, so I've decided to help him out."

"Damien asked for help?" The news is so shocking to Polly that she seems sober up, a very rare occurrence.

"...He might as well have," Zoe shrugs.

"~Awww!" Polly coos, "He's soooo whipped!"

"I know right!" Zoe exclaims, "They're both in love, but they're also so obvious to each other it literally hurts."

Polly nods vigorously, "Pft! You're telling me! Damien can't do anything without at least mentioning his little boyfriend! They just need to kiss so I can tell Damien I told him so."

"Oh, I can't wait for them to start kissing and doing boyfriend stuff," Zoe silently fangirls, "I'm literally going to  _ HAVE  _ to visit the realm of horrors and get a camera that works on Oz just so I can get pictures of them together!"

"Oh, I think I've been to the nightmare dimension before! It has rainbows, witches, and alcohol right? ...Actually, now that I think about it. I think those were just hallucinations from when I tried all those drugs at once," Polly suddenly whips her head around to look at Oz and Damien out from under the table as she settles down, "Getting back on track… What's the plan?! Does it have to do with aphrodisiacs? Cuz' I would totally dig sneaking aphrodisiacs into the school's water supply."

"What?! I am not putting aphrodisaics into anybody's drink!" Zoe gasps, "One, that's extremely rude and would only cause Oz and Damien to have some type of conflict about whether or not the other actually likes them or if it's just physical attraction. Trust me, I know my fanfiction. Two, Oz doesn't drink stuff and even if he did I would have to use a ton of it to have any effect. Three, the school's water supply is the city's water supply! If you contaminate that with aphrodiasics then the whole city will be having sex like wild rabbits!"

Ignoring everything else Zoe just said, Polly frowns and snaps her fingers, "Damn, Oz not using his mouth is a problem! Okay fine, what's your plan?"

"...Promise you'll help and I'll tell you," Zoe decides that Polly's ghostly abilities will be useful in the long run.

"Well duh, I was going to help anyways!" Polly laughs, "I can already tell this is going to be more fun than swapping Liam's phone with random objects all day. Plus, I'm an awesome friend. If I didn't help Damien get his super cute crush to date him, I would be the worst!"

"Okay awesome!" Zoe smiles and leans closer to Polly and starts whispering, "Here's the plan!"

Polly leans closer to Zoe to hear her, and while she's listening, the ghost mutters approvals under her breath, "Okay, yeah. Oh! That sounds awesome. You're going to use both of them at the same time? Damien is going to kill somebody."

"The only problem is that Damien and Oz aren't completely alone together long enough for me to get Dmitri and the Prince to come running," Zoe leans away from Zoe with a thoughtful frown, "It's times like these I'm jealous of Oz's stupid teleporting thing. It's so convenient and he doesn't even use it all the time."

"Weellll, I might be able to help you there," Polly smirks mischievously, "Ghosts are pretty famous for going through walls and appearing out of nowhere y'know."

Zoe's eyes light up, "Of course! That's perfect! You can keep an eye on Dmitri and the Prince, and then immediately send them to wherever I am when Oz and Damien are alone! It's perfect!"

"Coooool, so like… where are those guys at so I can keep an eye on them or whatever?" Polly tilts her head to the side questioningly.

"Oh yeah, you probably need to know that don't you," Zoe giggles, "The Prince is trying to get Miranda to marry him in Science class and Dmitri is annoying the Coven in the library."

"Got it boss!" Polly does a lazy salute in Zoe's direction with a snort as sbe sinks into the ground.

"Wait," Zoe stops Polly, "Why did hide under the table in the first place?"

"I was hiding from the werebear janitor because he figured out I was the one who threw a slime bomb in the gym… again," Polly smiles.

"Why didn't you just phase through the floor to hide?" Zoe asks.

"Huh, I didn't even think-" Polly gets cut off when right at that moment, the table above the two monsters gets yanked up to reveal a giant bear-wolf hybrid with a scowl.

"I FOUND YOU!" The crazy werebear janitor glares at Polly.

"Welp, bye. I got a job to do," Polly sinks into the floor the rest of the way, leaving Zoe with an angry custodian.

"Polly! Don't leave me!" Zoe shouts.

"DID YOU HELP THAT LITTLE BRAT SLIME THE GYM?!" The giant werebear snarls.

"NOPE! BYEEEEE!" Without another word, Zoe stands up from where she was sitting on the ground and sprints away, behind her is the werebear. Not more than twenty feet away, Damien and Oz send each other a confused glance before shrugging at the strange display. 

...

Sadly, despite having a new ally in her fight for love, Zoe is still unable to get Damien and Oz completely alone long enough for her to enact her plan. Damn school for being populated all the time! It's even more difficult, because Zoe knows the longer it takes for her to find the right moment, the more likely Polly is to bow out to find something more interesting. The attention spans of ghosts are anything but long.

"Zoe, come in Zoe. Over and out," The sound of the walkie talkie Polly gave Zoe makes the eldritch abomination jump. Quickly, Zoe mutes the walkie talkie and looks around to see if anyone noticed the noise. When no one in the ampitheater's bleachers look under their seats, Zoe thinks she's in the clear. Once that's been established, Zoe quickly turns her walkie talkie back on to respond to her friend.

"Polly," Zoe whispers, "I told you to make sure you're quiet when you talk through these! You could give away my position otherwise!"

"..." There's no response from the otherside of the line, and Zoe sighs.

"Over and out," Zoe finishes.

"THERE IT IS!" Polly's voice shouts from the small device, "If we're using walkie talkies, you have to use their language. Over and out."

"You don't have to say that every single time you finish a sentence," Zoe tries not to snort.

"I know, but I don't get to use these walkie talkies often!" Zoe can practically hear the pout on the other side of the line, "Over and out.'

"Why did you even have them then?" Zoe decides to ignore the fact Polly's going to keep saying over and out after everything she says.

"For PRANK MASTERZ stuff of course!" Polly declares as if it's obvious, "Well, it was for that, but Scott doesn't get the buttons and Vicky's electricity stuff kept messing up the frequency and frying hers. Over and out."

"PRANK MASTERZ?" Zoe holds the walkie talkie out at arms length, "Is that why there's slime and glitter all over this?" 

"Huh? Oh no, that's from when I convinced this minotaur at a bar to do the Upsideside-down Uncrainium Eldrenshire with me," Polly pauses, "It's kinda like the Reverse Romanian Wilkinson, except less cool. Over and out."

After doing extensive research for her fics and other NSFW art, Zoe sadly knows what both those are and drops her walkie talkie immediately before backing away from it, "EW, EW, EW, EW!" 

Hysterical laughter comes from the small device on the ground, "JK! Zoe, I was kidding! That slime and stuff is totally just from my pranks today! …Over and out."

Zoe frowns as she hesitantly picks the walkie talkie back off the ground, "You promise you were joking?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I promise on my life," Polly's still snorting, "Over and out."

"You're dead," Zoe deadpans.

"Oh yeah, then I guess I promise on my afterlife then," Polly responds thoughtfully, "Over and out."

"Good, because otherwise I would refuse to talk to you for the rest of my life," Zoe tries to sound serious, but she's smiling at this point, "Back to the reason we're talking over these in the first place though, why did you talk to me?"

"I was getting suuuper bored," Polly laughs, "As fun as watching Dmitri and the Interdimensional getting rejected over and over again is, it does get old eventually. Over and out."

Zoe frowns, she predicted this, but she didn't expect Polly to get tired this quickly, "Well, if they're getting boring, why don't you just mess with them or something? As long as they can still show up when we need them, I could care less what you do."

"But like… what should I do?" Polly sounds excited and curious all the same, "Over and out."

"I don't know," Zoe just suggested that so Polly will keep helping her, "You're a ghost right, just do your ghosty thing and annoy them. Y'know, float their stuff while you're invisible and whisper weird stuff in their ear where no one else can hear."

"I like the way you think!" If grins could be heard, then this is what they'd sound like, "I'm totally going to play keep away with the Prince's marriage papers! Over and out!" 

"The problem with you saying over and out after everything you say is that now I don't know if you're just saying it because you're done talking entirely or because you finished a statement," When no response comes from the other side of the line, Zoe figures that her first assumption was correct and sighs.

With Polly going silent, Zoe takes the quiet to peak out from under the wooden bleachers across from the stage. With barely a glance around, it's easy to spot Oz, Damien, Vicky, Amira, Brian, and Miranda on stage acting out some type of scene. Miranda's standing at the top of a fake tower above all the other actors as they simulate some type of battle over here. Amira and Brian are obviously acting as the villains, while Damien, Vicky, and Oz are the good guys.

"Ha! You goody two-shoes fools!" Amira shouts dramatically as she throws her arms in the air, "You may think you have a chance at rescuing the fair princess, but you've only fallen into my trap! You see, while you were running around the kingdom for something to fight me with, I enslaved a mighty dragon to smite you down with! MUAH HA HA! Bow before me and I might decide to show you mercy!"

"NO! My saviors!" Miranda shouts from her tower, fake crocodile tears rolling down her face, "How might you ever save me when such a frightsome creature stands between me and you! Am I destined to waste away in this lonely tower as all those trying to save me roast alive under my watchful eyes! How terrible! Truly, it's impossible for anyone to defeat such a heathenous reptilian beast of destruction!"

"Rawr," Brian says monotone from beside Amira, "I'm a scary dragon."

"Don't give up yet Princess!" Vicky shouts, "For while we may be small, we are warriors of true virtue and heroism! Plus, we totally found a sword that kills dragons!"

"Yeah!" Damien growls in Amira's direction, "We're gonna fucking murder your dragon buddy and then save Miranda! Isn't that right Oz?"

"U-Uh, yeah!" Oz shouts, obviously trying his best to act out the scene, "We'll strike down your dragon and then we'll serve you justice!"

"You talk big  _ heroes, _ " Amira hisses the word hero with such a condescending tone, that even Zoe has to pause a moment and remember they're just acting, "However, this isn't time for talk! Dragon!"

"Yeah," Brian is still monotone.

"BRING ME THEIR HEADS!" Amira cackles maniacally.

"K," Brian casually walks up to Damien, Miranda and Oz, "Rawr, I'm going to kill you."

"NEVER!" Vicky lunges towards Brian and swings her sword. It's obvious the Frankenstein's monster is purposefully missing her zombie friend, but it's still fun to watch. Especially since Brian just stands still and let's it happen.

"GUYS, A LITTLE HELP HERE!" Vicky shouts in character.

"Finally! I was waiting to get to swing this thing," Damien swings forward and starts swinging his sword at Brian. Unlike Vicky, Damien doesn't avoid Brian when he swings, which is the exact reason he's the only one who got a fake weapon with his outfit instead of a real on.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow," Everytime Vicky and Damien throw a hit at Brian he unenthusastically cries out.

"HE'S TOO POWERFUL DAMIEN!" Vicky shouts, "WE'LL ONLY DEFEAT HIM THROUGH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP AND TEAMWORK! OZ, GET OVER HERE AND HELP!"

"C-Coming!" Oz yelps as he rushes forward with his rapier.

Dramatically, Vicky, Damien, and Oz all raise their weapons at the same time before bringing them down on Brian. Both Oz and Vicky only tap Brian on the shoulder in the downward swing, but Damien puts all of the force he can possibly dole into his plastic weapon. Luckily, Brian's a zombie, so he can take much more than a really vicious hit from a plastic sword. There's a moment's pause where all three monsters have their blades on Brian before the zombie in a dragon costume purposefully falls over.

"Oh no, you've killed me," Brian deadpans while lying on the back on the ground, "Blegh, I'm dead."

"WHAT?! NOOOOOOO!" Amira shouts, "HOW DARE YOU!? HOW DARE YOU KILL MY LOYAL SLAVE?! I'LL KILL YOU FOR MAKING A MOCKERY OF ME!"

"Try me bitch!" Damien shouts, lifting up his sword that's… broken in half. Huh, seems like Brian could take a full force hit from Damien, but the prop sword couldn't.

Everyone on stage goes silent as they stare at the broken handle in Damien's hand. If the look on Damien's face is anything to go by, he didn't realize his prop sword was broken. 

"...Line," Amira nervously looks off stage towards the bleachers.

There's a loud sigh from above Zoe on the bleachers before Liam starts speaking, "Cut!"

Oz and Vicky lower their swords and make their way over to Brian to help him up. Miranda stops playing the damsel in distress and takes a handkerchief out of her pocket to wipe away her fake tears. Damien just stands in place and grumbles about how fragile his props are. Huh, Liam must be acting as the director today. Zoe didn't even notice him.

"Damien, this is the third prop sword you've broken," Liam sighs from the bleachers, "You've got to stop breaking them. Remember, this isn't an actual fight, pull your punches."

"Fuck you Liam! I know what I'm doing!" Damien growls as he crosses his arms.

"You obviously don't," Liam retorts, "If you did, we might've been able to finally get through this scene, but noooo! You can't break your sword every time you use it!"

"Then get me a real fucking sword!" Damien throws his arms up in the air with a scowl.

"Damien, we've already talked about this," Liam sounds done as he shouts to the rest of the people on the stage, "Does anybody want to tell Damien why the school won't give him a real sword?"

"I know!" Vicky excitedly jumps in place from beside Brian, "It's because he's stabbed so many people with actual blades before."

"That's one," Liam confirms.

"He kept taping daggers to the animals in the science lab," Brian offers.

"That's another reason," Liam agrees.

"I believe the school authorities were very unhappy with him when he challenged my prized swordfighter serfs to a duel to the death," Miranda offers from atop her tower, "Damien won, but the blood from the battle stained the tiles in the music room red."

"Yep," Liam's attention is turned back to Damien, "You need me to go on, or do you get the point?"

"Hey! No fair! You ganged up on me!" Damien shouts, "Ozzie! Tell them I deserve a real sword!"

Oz looks up in surprise before stuttering out an answer, "W-Well, I get where the school's coming from with the whole stabbing and danger thing, but it's not like Damien doesn't already have weapons on him. I don't see why a sword is that bad."

"See!" Damien gestures to Oz, "He agrees with me!"

"Oz is your best friend, he'll agree with you no matter what unless you're a danger to yourself," Amira rolls her eyes before knowingly glancing at Oz with a smirk.

"Agreed," Liam nods, "Oz doesn't count in this vote."

"Screw you and fuck this!" Damien shouts, "If you want me to act realistically, it's either I break my weapon over and over again or you give me an actual goddamn weapon!"

Liam sighs yet again, "I'll get the school to order us more plastic swords then."

"What?!" Damiens snarls, "I told you I want-"

"GET BACK HERE YOU INVISIBLE THIEF!" Damien gets cut off when the Interdimensional prince rushes into the amphitheater following a flying stack of papers.

"Hey! What are you doing here!? We're busy practicing if you didn't notice!" Amira looks very annoyed at the Interdimensional Prince's interruption.

The Prince pauses his sprint for just a second to bow towards all the people on stage, "I apologize sincerely for interrupting your play, but my marriage documents were stolen by an invisible thief. I must get them back before I lose them so please ignore my presence for the time being!"

The Prince stands up straight and rushes after the stack of papers that are still floating in the air. The paper floats onto the stage and starts to circle around everyone while rushing through the air. Without hesitation, the Prince climbs on stage after the papers. At some point in the chaos, Amira starts dying of laughter while Vicky tries to help the Prince catch his things. Zoe herself has to hold in a snicker herself as the Prince runs around like a chicken with his head cut off. Of course, Zoe's also figured out that Polly's the one flying the papers around at this point, but it's still hilarious to watch anyway.

However, everyone finding the situation funny, stops laughing when the Interdimensional Prince jumps through the air to grab his marriage documents. In a surprising turn of events, he manages to grab the papers, but in the process he flies directly into Miranda's fake castle tower. A tower, that other than the ladder Miranda's standing on, doesn't have any supports. As if in slow motion, the whole tower starts to fall backwards. 

"AHHHH! HELP!" Miranda tumbles backwards as her ladder and tower start to fall to the ground.

"MIRANDA!" Vicky shouts as she starts to rush forward. Damien, Brian, Miranda, and Oz follow closely behind. Zoe herself almost gives away her spot out of concern, but manages to stay put knowing her super senses will easily let her know what's going on, even from this distance.

The cardboard tower falls to the ground with a thud and Miranda's somewhere beneath it. Brian's the first one to the wreckage, so he quickly lifts up the cardboard prop to find Miranda laying on the ground with wide eyes and a broken crown.

"Are you okay?!" Amira asks urgently.

Miranda sits up slowly and rubs her head, "I'm fine… That was just… surprising."

"OH MY GOD OKAY!" Polly turns corporeal and tugs Miranda into a backbreaking hug, "I'm so sorry Mira! I totally didn't mean to make that happen! I just wanted to annoy the Interdimensional Prince! Please don't be mad at meeeeeeeee!"

"Polly?" Vicky's brows furrowed in confusion, "What are you doing here?"

"I was the one making those papers float around!" Polly explains, still not letting go of Miranda, "It was supposed to be funny! I didn't want to hurt Miraaaaanda!"

"IT WAS YOU?!" The Interdimensional Prince points at Polly while hugging his marriage contracts to his chest with his other hand, "WHY?!"

For a split second, Zoe is terribly concerned that Polly's going to give her away. Luckily, for all the times Polly might be oblivious or airheaded, this is not one of those times.

"I got bored," Is all Polly says before she turns to Miranda, "Are you alright? You didn't break your back or anything right? There's no internal bleeding in your fish parts either right?"

Miranda looks like she's going through whiplash. She frowns and then quietly, so quiet that Zoe can barely hear her with her eldritch senses, speaks, "I am fine. My ankle just hurts a bit, but that's only because I landed on it."

"YOU BROKE YOUR ANKLE?!" Polly contradicts Miranda.

Without being able to hear what Miranda was going to say, everyone present takes Polly's word for it.

"We need to get you to the nurse's office!" Vicky exclaims.

"Yes, as much as I hate to cut this theater session short, we can't let Miranda stay hurt," At some point during the chaos, Liam found his way onto the stage.

"Okay, nurse's office, got it!" Polly scoops Miranda up in her arms and rushes out of the theater with her.

"Wait a moment!" Is the last thing heard from Miranda before they're too far away to hear at all.

"Does Polly even know where the nurse's office is?" Brain asks in concern.

"I...I don't think so," Liam frowns.

"Shit, that means we need to go after them doesn't it?" Amira frowns.

As if to answer Amira's question, Vicky rushes in the direction Polly went, "WAIT UP POLLY!"

Amira only sighs before rushing along as well. Brian and Liam share a look before slowly following the rest of their friends. Damien looks like he's about to follow, but Oz grabs his hand. Zoe can't hear what he tells Damien, but considering Oz has the same super hearing as her and was way closer to the chaos, he's probably telling Damien that Miranda doesn't actually have a broken ankle. 

"I bet they circle around the school three times before Miranda finally gets to tell them she's fine," When Damien laughs and rolls his eyes, Zoe considers her suspicions confirmed.

It's at his exact moment that Zoe realizes this is her chance. Damien and Oz are completely alone, and the Interdimensional Prince hasn't moved from his spot yet! All Zoe has to do is get Dmitri on that stage as quickly as possible. With the speed of a professional fanfic writer, Zoe yanks out her phone and starts using her pull in the Coven fandom to start rumors about Oz being betrayed by the three witches. Knowing how up to date Dmitri stays about things considering himself, Hope, Joy, and Faith, it shouldn't be long until he-

"It is I, Dmitri! The arch enemy of the Coven and handsome vampire of unsavory tastes!" A cloud of smoke appears on the stage and from it, Dmitri emerges. Huh, well that was faster than Zoe thought.

The cloud of smoke around the Dmitri dissipates and he glances around his surroundings. The Interdimensional Prince, Damien, and Oz are still reeling from Dmitri's sudden appearance when the vampire finally locks his gaze on Oz.

"Ah, there you are!" Dmitri smirks arrogantly, "I've heard hard times have befallen you Oz!"

"...What?" Oz tilts his head to the side in confusion and to Zoe's joy, Damien is already bristling with barely contained hostility beside him.

"Oh, there's no need to play coy with me," Dmitri waves his hand through the air with a level of carelessness that is certainly fake, "I've already heard of what those accursed wenches did. Betrayal is never an easy thing to swallow, and that's why I've come to offer you your chance at revenge!"

Zoe can't help giggling from her spot under bleachers as she watches. When Zoe posted a bunch of stuff on her account, she didn't even confirm that there was an actual betrayal. All she said was that there  _ might _ be a possibility the Coven didn't see eye to eye on something. In a matter of seconds, the internet twisted her words and spread them like a plague. It's usually annoying considering Zoe has to pick apart all those lies and such when she does her extensive internet searches, but in this case, it's convenient.

"Umm, I d-don't know what you're talking about," The phobia that's normally in Oz's musketeer hat playing with the feather even stops to stare at Dmitri in confusion at this point.

"Did the Coven not betray you in cold blood over the legacy of your forefathers and the fact they no longer trust you?" It's Dmitri's turn to look confused.

"What kind of bullshit are you spouting?" Damien's sounds stuck between a snarl and a snort, "Oz doesn't have any forefathers."

"What?" Dmitri looks a lot less confident than he did a few moments earlier.

"Damien's right. I don't have any relatives," Oz shrugs, "I also haven't been betrayed by the Coven in any way."

"But I read that you were on the internet!" Dmitri protests.

"Don't trust everything you read on the internet," Damien shakes his head.

"Yeah, with people like Polly and Vera always trying to pull pranks or manipulate the masses, it's better to not just trust anything you find," Oz adds helpfully.

"Oh… well uh," Dmitri rubs the back of his neck with a thoughtful frown. Damien and Oz share a look and the Interdimensional Prince stays silent in the corner as he continues to hug his marriage contracts. After a few seconds of silence, Dmitri seems to figure out what to do next and regains his confident air from earlier, "Well, though I suppose the circumstances are different then what I assumed, my goal is still the same. I cannot waste time any longer!"

Oz looks nervous again, "And uh, w-what would that goal be?"

Instead of answering, Dmitri struts forward elegantly until he's only a foot away from Oz. With a smirk, the vampire whips his hair about and smirks, "I would like to recruit you to the dark side."

When Oz's eyes widen in shock and Damien growls, Zoe silently congratulates herself. Everything's going smoothly so far. 

Oz doesn't respond right off the bat, so Dmitri continues talking, "After our battle in the woods, I've been keeping an eye on you."

Damien's eyes flare with rage as Dmitri keeps talking and Oz's nervous anxiety seems to spike. All considered, Oz's behavior is probably this drastic because Zoe already told him that Dmitri had a crush on him and he's considering how to let him down nicely. Honest to god, if Zoe hadn't told him, she's sure the poor incarnation of fear wouldn't even understand what's going on because of his obliviousness.

"...and considering all I've noticed," Dmitri just keeps going, "I think you'd be the perfect addition to the side of evil. Of course, I would never expect someone to just willfully switch sides without so much as an incentive, so I'd like to enlighten you on some of the…  _ benefits  _ of joining me." 

The tone of the word 'benefits' is enough of an insinuation as is, but Dmitri decides to smirks and wink just for good measure. Kudos to Oz because the usually easily flushed monster somehow manages to keep his face from turning red. However, before Oz can carefully deliver his rejection or Damien can set the vampire on fire, the Interdimensional Prince pipes up.

"Excuse me," The prince steps forward and plants himself between Oz and Dmitri, "But I refuse to allow you to make such unchivalrous moves on my future betrothed!"

If looks could kill, there would be a hole in the back of the Interdimensional Prince's skull courtesy of one Damien LaVey. Oz on the other hand, looks at a complete loss for words.

"Ha! Future betrothed? You must be joking," Dmitri laughs condescendingly.

  
  


"I am not!" The Prince declares loudly, "My dearest might not know of my courtship yet, but that does not make it any less real! It is you who must be joking if you think that he'll choose you over me!"

"I am the paragon of evil and temptation!" Dmitri sounds offended, "What is it that you could offer that's better than what I am!?"

"Well, while I must admit you are interesting and pretty, you lack the fine talent of proper commitment!" The Prince flicks his hair and laughs regally, "I plan to wisk my love away and give them nothing but the best of the best in my kingdom before we eventually rule together."

Dmitri scowls, "I plan on taking over the world. What could be more of a commitment than that?!"

"A marriage contract," The Interdimensional Prince snarks.

Dmitri and the Interdimensional Prince are at a stalemate. Neither one knows how to one up the other. Zoe herself is waiting for the epic climax. This is the part where Damien pushes them both out of the way and declares his love to Oz. 

"Okay fuckers, how about you all step away from Ozzie," Damien doesn't actually give the two arguing monsters a chance to do what he says as he tugs Oz away from them, "Then, when you remember Oz doesn't have to date either of you, you can let him tell you to screw off because he wouldn't have sex with either of you in the first place!"

That exact moment is when Oz loses control of his features and blushes a furious red as he softly hits the demon's arm, "D-Damien! Don't be rude!"

When he looks at Oz, Damien looks frustrated, and a little scared, "Don't tell me you're actually thinking of fucking one of these guys. They're literally the worst people at this school, and that's saying a lot considering I go to this school!"

"That's untrue!" The Interdimensional Prince sounds offended this time, "The simple notion that I would marry someone  _ just  _ to have intercourse with them is absolutely horrendous!"

"I agree!" Dmitri scowls, "I am an ambassador of the dark side, I'm not a monster. If you join my side I can promise much more than just sex. Although I won't lie, sex will be included."

At this point, Oz finally is able to start talking "Um… you both are really nicd, but-"

"But you can't choose between us," The Interdimensional Prince finishes incorrectly, "Of course you would think this shirtless sexy vampire is a suitable partner!"

"Yes, as much as I hate it, I can understand the difficulty in choosing," Dmitri looks pained to be admitting this, "A prince of a kingdom in faraway dimensions does sound romantic."

"No, that's not what I was going to-" 

Oz gets cut off by the Interdimensional Prince, "Perhaps we could make a compromise…"

"Hmm," Dmitri looks thoughtful, "I believe I have an intriguing offer. You seem to be dastardly to some extent if the rumors are correct. Your disregard for consent and obsession with fooling people into marriage are clear signs of evil, so I don't find you to be a goody two shoes."

"Agreed," The Interdimensional Prince nods, "I find your talk of this 'dark side' alluring. It sounds almost like marrying the night, but I don't understand what this has to do with our predicament!"

"How about we share?" Dmitri regains his confident aura as he tosses his suggestion out for judgement.

At this point Damien's eyes are practically glowing red and his tail is violently swinging back and forth, "There is no way I'm letting-"

"Yes!" The Interdimensional Prince interrupts Damien, "That is a wonderful idea! A threesome will be new for me, but completely welcome! All that's left for us to do is sign these marriage contracts and make things official!"

The Interdimensional Prince thrusts a set of papers towards both Dmitri and Oz at the same time. However, before Oz can even try to give the papers back, Damien grabs the papers from him and burns them to a crisp.

"Listen her bastards, you are not peer pressuring Oz into marrying you!" Damien slings a protective arm around Oz as he continues with a growl, "You better consider your options quickly before I force you to."

"We are not peer pressuring anyone!" Dmitri protests before turning to Oz, "Tell him."

With the attention completely focused on Oz, the incarnation of fear panics, "I-I uh, don't really want to marry anyone. I m-mean, you guys are nice and everything, but I rather us just stay-"

"Oh! I understand," The Interdimensional Prince lights up in realization, "You don't want to have to make such a huge commitment right off the bat. Don't worry about it! I have another wonderful contract that declares engagement instead of marriage! If we use that one, you're still destined to marry the both of us, but you can still stay away from marriage. How does that-"

"No!" Oz finally yelps, finally stopping the other monsters from talking, "I'm not interested at all! Look, you're both really nice in my book, despite how much all my friends find you annoying, but I don't want anything romantic with either of you!"

Dmitri and the Interdimensional Prince both seemed shocked by this outburst. Damien on the other hand, is ecstatic, "Finally! You heard Oz, he doesn't want to date your sorry asses!" 

"B-But, who else am I to be betrothed to?" The Interdimensional Prince asks.

"Uh, w-well, you really hit it off with Dmitri," Oz tries, "You were both already prepared to get married a few moments ago, why not just go through with that?"

"Of course! That's ingenious!" The Interdimensional Prince turns back towards Dmitri and gets down on one knee, "Dmitri, the darkest part of my heart and the stars in my night sky, will you marry me?!"

"I… I… YES!" Dmitri pulls a pen out of nowhere and signs the marriage contract.

"How about we get to the honey moon now?" The Interdimensional Prince winks at Dmitri as he opens up a rift in space time.

"I can get behind that," Dmitri struts through the Prince's portal without hesitation. The Interdimensional Prince follows close behind.

Zoe stomps her foot and starts grinding her teeth, "No, no, no! That's not what was supposed to happen dammit!"

While Zoe has a hissy fit, she doesn't notice that she's tightly gripping the walkie talkie in her hand and pushing the speak button.

"Is that totem bitch?" Damien's voice comes from the walkie talkie in Zoe's hand with a static underlay. 

Zoe peaks out from under the bleachers to find Oz holding Polly's walkie talkie with Damien looking over his shoulder. The ghost must have dropped it during the whole Miranda fiasco.

"Uh oh," When Zoe speaks the second time, she's a little too loud, because Oz's head snaps in her direction.

"Zoe? Why are you under the bleacher?" Oz's voice invades the eldritch abomination under the bleacher's mind and freezes her in place.

"Uhhhhh, no reason," Zoe panics and turns to book it out of the amphitheater, "Over and out!"

…

"So, that's why you were spying under the bleachers?" Oz deadpans from across the cafeteria table, "You broke your promise to me about not trying to get me and Damien together, and in the process almost got me dragged into a three-way marriage and broke Miranda's ankle."

"Hey! The whole ankle fiasco was all Polly!" Zoe defends herself, "I didn't tell her to move her little prank into the theater. Honest to god, she's probably already forgotten I even asked for her help at this point!"

Oz wants to be angry, really, he does. It's kinda hard to work up frustration though, when he expected something like this to happen way sooner. It's sad, but Oz actually kinda feels proud of Zoe. When they first made the whole promise about her not messing with his love life, Oz expected her to break it by the end of the week, so a couple of months exceeded his expectations by a long shot.

"Look Oz, I'm super sorry about all this, but I just really want you to confess your feelings!" Zoe whines, "Please don't be mad at me!"

Oz tilts his head in confusion, "How was getting Dmitri and the Interdimensional Prince to ask me out at the same time supposed to get me to tell Damien I like him?"

Zoe freezes like a deer caught in the headlights, "Uhhhhh."

"Zoe…" Oz warns.

"I-," Zoe drops her head in fake defeat and lies, "I thought Damien would stand up for you and you'd say he was your boyfriend to get those two away."

"You-" Oz blushed in embarrassment just thinking about how awkward that would be and doesn't see through Zoe's bluff, "That would have been horrible! What would I even have said after that!?"

Zoe pouts, "I don't know, maybe something like, 'Oh sorry I called you my boyfriend. I just wanted those other guys to go away! Although if you want to date me I'm not against it!'"

Oz is mortified, "I would never say something like that."

"But you should!" Zoe exclaims, "Seriously, this is getting tedious Oz! Watching you two being so desperately in love from a distance is killing me! It's even worse because you like each other too much to stay away and pine from a distance, so you just stick to each other like glue and act like a couple!"

"W-We do not act like a couple!" Oz protests.

"Oh yes you do!" Zoe stands her ground, "Damien's always checking in on you to make sure he's okay, you make food for Damien when he misses lunch, you both ditch school together every other day, and you're literally  _ always  _ touching! The only thing keeping you from dating is the fact you haven't kissed yet! Seriously, how can you be this oblivious!"

"H-Hey, I'm supposed to be the one angry at you," It's a weak protest and Oz knows it.

"Hmph, well I regret nothing! At your pseudo-sister, I won't allow you to go beating around the romance bush!" Zoe declares determinedly, "It's either you suck it up and ask him out, or I'll find a way to do it for you!"

Oz panics, "Please don't."

"Nope, no begging! I will do it and nothing you can say will stop me! Not a V.I.P pass or a single piece of art equipment will change my mind. You and Damien need to get together before I force you to!"

"Zoe, you can't!" Oz shakes his head frantically, "Damien probably hasn't ever thought of me that way, and telling him how I feel is just going to make everything weird! What if he stops talking to me? I know I probably don't deserve-"

"NOPE! No self deprecating talk in front of Zoe either! Remember, I will make a song about how great you are and sing it over the intercoms if you keep doing that," Zoe pauses before adding, "And I will write a song about how much you love Damien too if you don't confess by game night at my house! That's what? Two weeks from now? Yeah, that's what it was. You've got two weeks to make a confession before  _ I _ do it for you!"

"But Zoe-"

"No buts!" Zoe frowns, "You will tell that demon you love him or so help me, I'll have Vicky make a sign for the next football game that says you do!"

Realizing Zoe's not going to back down, Oz lets his head fall into his hands. What is he going to do? He can't just walk up to Damien and say he likes him, can he? No, that would be stupid! Absolutely stupid.

"Look Oz," Zoe's tone softens and Oz looks between his fingers at her, "There is no way in this universe or the next, that Damien isn't going to say he likes you back. Trust me! I'm the school's love guru afterall. You just gotta take a leap of faith, alright?"

"Love guru!?" Oz groans, "If you're that good at what you do, then why didn't you predict Dmitri and the Prince getting together!?"

"I thought they were incompatible because the both of them always asked out the same people," Zoe frowns, "I just didn't expect the Interdimensional Prince to be into the whole rivalry dynamic. I knew Dmitri was, but still! I'm an expert, I'm not omnipotent! Although now that it's happened, I can say with 100% certainty that I ship it."

Despite himself, Oz manages to chuckle at Zoe's lame attempt at breaking the tension, "You would ship a table with the floor if there was a story behind it…"

"Hey! That was once! Plus, Chairiel and Floorence deserved each other!" Zoe crosses her arms, "Now stop making fun of me and start thinking about how you want to tell your little lovebird you want to make a nest together!"

Whatever protest Oz had prepared was snuffed out by the insane blush on his cheeks, "ZOE!"

"Oh, shut up, you know what you want," Zoe rolls her eyes, "Just give it up and accept that you are head over heels for the prince of hell."

"You wouldn't actually-"

"I would and I will!" Zoe huffs, "I'm not bluffing! It's either you tell or I do instead! There aren't any loopholes! Well, there are probably a  _ few _ loopholes, but I don't think you'll be able to exploit them! Now, do you understand what I'm saying or are you going to pretend I'm lying?"

"I-I fine! Jeez, just let me think things over!" Oz is still blushing, but he looks calmer than earlier at the prospect of asking Damien out.

"Well think fast! You've only got two weeks!" 

Oz grumbles something unintelligible under his breath before jerking his phone out of his pocket and typing something in, "If I'm going to suffer then so are you."

"Uh...what?" It might be the semi-furious aura emitted from Oz, or it might be his innate power to distill fear, but Zoe's a little frightened by her ex-roommate's cryptic words.

"You said you're a love guru right?" Oz pockets his phone and Zoe nods, unsure of herself, "Well I just gave somebody your professional number."

Zoe's fear instantly recedes and is replaced with amusement, "Really Oz? That's the best you could come up with!? Pft, I don't know what you were thinking, but I love helping people figure out their relationships! After All, the happier they are, the more fanfic material for me!"

"So you agree to help them?" Oz asks monotone.

"Of course!"

"Good, cause I told them you'd help," Oz looks at Zoe cheekily.

"Perfect! Where do they want to-"

As if on cue, a familiar rift in spacetime opens next to Zoe. The Interdimensional Prince and Dmitri step through.

"Hello madam Zoe!" The Interdimensional Prince grins, "We've heard that you have much no-how about how relationships can work! We have many questions and will probably need the next three hours to get proper answers! Usually I would feel rude asking this of you, but considering your sibling has already said you're willing to help, I went through the trouble of printing a list of our questions already."

Zoe's eyes get large and she glances to Oz with a pleading look, "Three hours?"

"She already said yes guys," Oz ignores Zoe and sends the men in the portal a thumbs up.

"Great, let's get down to business then," Without further prompting, Dmitri takes a seat next to Zoe with the Prince following close behind. The Prince's portal closes behind them not a second later.

"So, first on out list of questions, we were wondering if during a relationship if either of us are allowed to have sex with other people or if-" The Interdimensional Prince launches right into a spiel about one of his questions as Oz stands up to walk away.

"Don't leave meeee!" Zoe calls after the incarnation of fear, but Oz doesn't turn around. 

Instead, Oz walks away while trying not to show how conflicted he is. Zoe was probably joking about the whole date thing, right? She wouldn't actually tell Damien Oz like him. Oh, who is Oz kidding? Of course Zoe would do that! She literally just tried to create some convoluted plan about the Interdimensional Prince and Dmitri to get Oz to accidentally call Damien his boyfriend. If that doesn't just scream desperation, Oz doesn't know what does.

If Zoe's so desperate to come up with a plan like that, Oz has no doubt she'll go through with her threat, and while Oz's anxiety despises confessing, Zoe telling Damien for him is a much greater evil of the two. Meaning Oz has two options, beg and plead for Zoe to retract her threat, something very unlikely to happen, or figure out how to not completely ruin a friendship while fessing up about his feelings. 

Is it wrong for Oz to want to melt into a puddle and ignore his problems for a couple millenia? Oz sighs. As tempting as the notion of doing that is, he's not that much of a wreck… yet. Either Oz is getting better at dealing with stress, or his anxiety is getting better, because normally, anything this nerve wracking would be sending Oz into a panic attack. The thought is somewhat comforting the incarnation of fear.

Sadly, the comfort only lasts a few seconds before the nervousness is back full force. Oz's only chance of keeping Zoe from embarrassing him is to confess. How does he do that?! Better yet, when would he do it?! Of course it has to be in the next two weeks, but that doesn't change the fact Oz doesn't know when in those two weeks! Oz is literally the last person anyone should go to for love advice, but even he knows you can't just weave something like that into a normal conversation. It's just- just a bad idea altogether!

Without realizing it, Oz's feet send him in the direction of Damien's table. The demon and him don't eat lunch together everyday, but Zoe's right about the frequency. They both sit together often enough that a specific table towards the back of the cafeteria has been labeled theirs. Which when Oz thinks about it, sets all type alarms off in Oz's head. Was Zoe right about him and Damien already acting like a couple? The only other students who had a table dedicated to them are Tate and Violet. 

Then, the part of Oz's brain that's logical catches up to him. He's heading to Damien's table. The table that Damien is sitting at right now. The Damien that Oz is considering how to talk to about his feelings with. ABORT! ABORT! ABORT! OZ IS NOT READY YET! 

Oz awkwardly stops walking in the center of the lunchroom, only about ten feet away from the table he's now avoiding. Oz starts to turn around to high tail it out of there, but stops when he notices something off. Damien's not the only one sitting at the table. A spike of curiosity smothers Oz's panic and stops his hasty retreat. 

Normally, someone sitting next to Damien wouldn't be strange. While Oz and Damien are the ones who sit at that table the most, that doesn't mean that Polly, Vera, and the rest of their friends don't drop by on occasion. No, the reason Oz is alarmed is because of  _ who  _ is sitting with Damien and  _ what _ she's doing.

Avery, the succubus who harrassed Oz, is sitting excessively close to Damien with her hands on his arm. She's taken something from off his lunch tray and is trying to feed Damien with a seductive lick of her lips. Whatever they're saying is blocked out of Oz's head by the onslaught of questions the incarnation of fear is assaulted with. What is  _ she  _ doing here?! Why is she so close to Damien?! Why isn't the demon doing anything about it?! Oz's heart stops. Did he like Avery there?

Just as Oz is about to figure out how to react to what's in front of him, Damien looks away from Avery and around the room. When his gaze locks with Oz, the relief on his face is almost palpable. With no hesitation whatsoever, Damien forcefully detaches himself from Avery. 

"Hey dork!" Damien gets up from his seat and makes his way over to Oz, ignoring Avery's surprised and frustrated expression all the while, "Did get that thing I asked for so we could go blow shit up?"

Oz almost asks what Damien's talking about, but stops himself just in time. The expectant look from the demon along with a glance towards Avery gives Oz the last puzzle piece to connect the dots. 

"O-Oh, yeah," Oz plays along with Damien, "I put it in my locker."

"Let's get going then!" Damien casually slings an arm over Oz's shoulder and starts leading him towards the hallway, "There's no better time to cause destruction than the present!"

"Yeah…" The simple gesture shouldn't make Oz's heart speed up as much as it does, but he can't help thinking about what Zoe said about them already acting like a couple. The moment the thought pops up in his head, Oz scolds himself. Damien's not the only person to touch so casually. Vicky's always tugging Oz into hugs, Amira does the same thing with throwing her arms over people's shoulders, and Zoe practically clings to Oz when she gets in trouble. This isn't any different from that. Except, it is.

Oz is so caught up in the flurry of thoughts swirling through his head that he doesn't notice Damien dragged him out into the hallway until he sighs and retracts his arm from Oz.

"Jesus, that bitch was annoying," Damien groans, "She was so fucking clingy. Thanks for the save there Ozzie."

Snapped back to the present, Oz would be frowning if he could, "Your welcome… but what was she even doing over there?"

"Ugh, she just showed up for literally no reason and spouted something about apologizing to me for what happened at Polly's rave a couple months ago," Damien growls, "She obviously didn't actually fucking care. I mean, I was flattered she was trying to flirt with me or whatever that was, but it was awkward as hell. You couldn't have come at a better time Oz. Seriously, you're a lifesaver."

"I already said your welcome Dames."

Oz lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding when Damien tells his story. Avery was being flirty, that's all it was. Nothing else. Thank god. 

Oz curses his own thoughts. It's not any of his business who Damien likes romantically or not. Oz shouldn't be this wound up over it. 

"Hey, did you figure out whatever you needed to do with totem girl?" Damien raises an eyebrow.

"H-Huh?" Oz recovers from his daydreaming, "I-I mean yeah. Z-Zoe just… thought that Dmitri and the Interdimensional Prince would make a good couple and used me in her plan to get them together. Ha ha, classic Zoe, right?"

To Oz's dismay, his joke falls flat. The incarnation of fear panics, thinking his lie was seen through. However instead of calling him out or anything of the sort, Damien's gaze darkens to a worrying extent as he scowls, "She should leave you out of her plans."

"W-What?" Oz is taken off guard by the serious tone.

"She shouldn't make you a part of a plan without knowing it," Damien growls.

"Vera does stuff like that all the time. What's different about if it's Zoe or her?" Oz questions confusedly.

"W-Well, Vera's stuff is related to crime and murder so it's cool. Doing it because you want people to date is just…" Damien looks like he's trying to figure out a word but can't remember it, "It's just not fucking metal!"

Oz can't help defending his pseudo-sister despite him agreeing with Damien whole heartedly, "Zoe didn't mean to cause any harm. None of that would have even happened if she hadn't recruited Polly to help her. Usually her plans are much more… subtle, y'know?"

Damien frowns, "Still, having Dmitri and the Interdimensional Prince flirting with me one at a time is annoying. Seeing them both harassing you was just frustrating."

Oz almost replies with how frustrating it was to see Avery do the same with him, but stops himself. Dang. Zoe was right about Oz being in love.


	45. Friends of mine, I need some advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two monsters desperately seek advice from their friends.

Love is one of the most strange and terrifying things in life. This isn't an opinion, it's just a fundamental truth of the universe. 

Some say it's just the nature of all things alive to search out love and companionship to not be alone. Others think of it logically and say love's a survival instinct ingrained into the genetic code. Select few don't even believe love exists. Those people in particular are most likely just fooling themselves. Not that it's very surprising considering how scary the emotion is.

It's a basic fact. Just like the easy kind of things kids learn in school. The grass is green, the sun is hot, and love is scary. Yet, as simple at that is. It's also one of the most complicated things in existence. It's kinda like rocket science. Everybody knows that the end goal is to shoot a giant piece of metal into the sky, but everything leading up to that point is tedious, complicated, and borderline maddening. It takes time, effort, and lots of understanding. Don't even mention all the set-backs and trouble that comes along while trying to reach the goal.

It's probably all those reasons above that so many people fear love and avoid it like the plague. It's a completely understandable fear to have. Philophobia is the exact term for it, the fear of love. In all honesty, it's a crime that a concept so wonderful is so terrible at the same time. It's almost… ironic? Yeah, ironic. 

Personally, Oz can understand this phobia more intimately than most others. What's more terrifying than leaving yourself completely vulnerable to somebody only for them to reject you or leave? Not much. 

Oz stares at the tiny inkling in his hand that's gazing back at him with an intensity of someone completely clueless yet desperate to find a solution to a difficult problem. Maybe if Oz stares down the root of all his current troubles, they'll eventually go away. In all senses except literal, Oz is the equivalent of a newborn trying to figure out rocket science when it comes to love.

When it comes down to it, Oz might be the immortal eldritch abomination of the very emotion haunting and corrupting every being of life in the universe, but that doesn't mean he can't feel things. Oz learned how to be a person long ago, and that was one of the first revelations that lead him to now. It started with curiosity, then empathy, then relatability, and finally left the once stoic and deadly incarnation of fear as a nervous and kind teenager. 

A teenager, who definitely hasn't been staring at one of his one phobias for the past few hours hoping for some type of revelation about love. Nope, Oz has only been staring for the last hour and fifty-eight minutes. 

"I give up…" Oz lets Philophobia move from his hand and up to his shoulder as he puts his head down on the living room coffee table with a groan. 

What is Oz supposed to do about Damien? As much as he wants to sweep his feelings under the rug and leave them there for the rest of eternity, Oz knows he can't. Zoe may or may not have been joking about her threats the previous week, but either way she still has a point. Oz can't keep avoiding his feelings forever. Even if it causes problems and ruins their friendship, it wouldn't be fair to Damien if Oz didn't tell him the truth.

How was he supposed to do that though? Oz is not going to just walk up to Damien tomorrow morning and go, "Hey Dames, I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you and I think you're really awesome, cool, funny, and handsome. I know you're way out of my league and stuff, but would you ever consider us going out on a date?" Yeah right, if Oz ever did that he'd break out into a stutter so bad he'd still be trying to get the words out next century. Oz really shouldn't have procrastinated a week before actually thinking all this through.

Oh yeah, did Oz mention that because of Zoe's threat he made himself promise to confess by the end of the two week period Zoe set. No? He didn't? Well dang, that's probably something he should have brought up.

Oz spent the entirety of his first week wondering if he should actually take Zoe's threat seriously before coming to the conclusion it didn't matter because Oz should confess anyways. Oz almost wants to curse himself. He should have come to that conclusion before Zoe had to coerce him into considering his options. 

"Philophobia, you're the fear of love. Why can't you tell me what to do?" If Oz spoke with a mouth his words would be muffled because his face is still face down into the coffee table,"Or maybe you could at least tell me what not to do."

The phobia squeaks about Oz already thinking up dozens of terrible scenarios and how he won't help him think up more. Oz groans.

"Great, it's good to know I've already thought up of everything that could go wrong without your help. That just instills me with confidence…" Oz remarks sarcastically.

Philophobia squeaks again, but this time it's apologetically. After a moment, the tiny black glob pats Oz on the back of the head reassuringly before disappearing.

Not even the phobia with the most expertise in the world about love is able to give Oz advice. Actually, Oz should have seen this coming. Philophobia is the fear of love, meaning that it sees every single way someone could be afraid of the emotion. It's no surprise the tiny creature had no idea how to help Oz confess considering that. It's also a testament to the fact that Philophobia said Oz had already pretty much thought up every single thing that could go wrong because the phobia is an expert in that field. Man, if anxiety wasn't Oz's weakness it would be his superpower.

With his go to phobia's knowledge being useless, Oz only has so many other sources to glean knowledge about to confess correctly and not screw up. 

There's the internet, although the more Oz thinks about it the more horrible the idea sounds. Looking up love on the internet would probably just bring up a bunch of cheesy dating advice websites and porn, and as desperate as Oz is he is not using either of  _ those _ sources as the baseline on how to confess romantic feelings for another person. No way no how.

Maybe Oz could ask for advice, but nobody except Zoe and… 

"AMIRA!" Oz shoots up from his spot of self-loathing in the living room and searches for his phone.

Amira knows Oz likes Damien and she could probably give some great advice on how to go about this confession thing! Don't get Oz wrong, Zoe's technically the school's 'love guru' but that doesn't mean she's a good one. Her love advice to couples is usually to go on a life threatening quest together that ends with emotional fulfillment and a make-out session. Which okay, knowing Spooky High that is completely adequate advice, but Oz and Damien have already had multiple adventures along those lines and none of those have ended up with them making out. 

After searching through his pockets and not finding his phone, Oz continues to scavenge the living room for any traces of the device in a desperate search attempt.

So yeah, Amira's the girl for this job. She might not be the best at expressing romantic interests, consider Vera for example, but that doesn't mean she doesn't at least have some romance knowhow. One of the differences between the fiery djinn and the rest of their small foursome of friends is that she's actually been in a relationship before. It was only once and both of them were drunk for the three hours it existed, but drunken dating still has to count for something right?

However, none of this actually matters if Oz can't find his phone to text her! Seriously, where is the world could Oz have left his- 

Oz looks back at the coffee table he was just moping on and spots his phone setting atop it exactly where he left it. Huh, so that's where it was. 

Oz makes his way across the room, snatches his phone up, and starts texting. Oz keeps things sweet and simple and sends Amira a five hundred word long text about why he needs to see her alone right now, where they need to meet, and exactly why Oz needs to talk to her. The reply is almost an almost instantaneous yes, and Oz has to wonder how in the world Amira could read his text so fast yet not get through a single page in Moby Dick. 

With a meeting spot and an agreement made, Oz doesn't waste a moment in time and starts sinking through the nearest shadow to get to his destination. In a matter of seconds, Oz slips through the void and appears outside Amira's apartment instead of inside. Very concisely, Oz knocks on the door three times and waits.

After multiple occasions of Oz appearing directly inside Amira's house, the fire djinn made it a rule that he couldn't come into her home without knocking on the outside of her door at least three times, and yeah, Oz can understand why she made the rule considering he now lives with a teleporting cat. Dorothy just pops up out of nowhere, wrecks havoc, then flees to Zoe's house until Oz stops being upset.

Just before Oz starts daydreaming about the various annoyances Dorothy seems to pleasure in attacking Oz with, there's the sound of quick footsteps on the other side of the door. Not a moment after the footsteps are heard, Amira opens the door and yanks Oz into the threshold of her home, slamming the door behind him.

"Okay, tell me everything you know about what Damien likes, tell me what made you decide to confess, and tell me if I can invite Vicky and Brian over," Amira's talks a mile a minute.

It takes a few seconds for Oz's brain to catch up to what Amira said, but when it does, he freezes, "W-What?! W-Why do you need to invite Vicky and Brian over?!"

Amira stops and blanches at Oz, "Look, I'm going to be serious with you here. I might be pretty good at coming up with half-assed schemes, but this is not a good time for half assery. If I get Brian and Vicky over here, there'll at least be one brain cell to be shared between us."

"B-But I haven't told them that I l-like-"

"Oz, they already know you like Damien. It's not like you've been subtle about it with how you check on him every other hour," Amira rolls her eyes, "Honestly, I think everyone's getting tired of watching you to dance around."

"That's exactly what Zoe said…" Oz says meekly.

"Well she's right!" Amira huffs, "Now sit down on my couch and wait for the rest of the gang to show up. We're gonna need a lot of details if you want good advice. Oh, and please don't tell Vicky you already told me about this. I don't want to get assaulted in my own apartment."

Amira practically shoves Oz onto the couch before sitting down beside him and calling either Vicky or Brian on her phone. Oz's superb hearing can actually pick up the exact moment the call is received and Vicky's slightly static voice comes from the other side.

"Hey Amira. What's up?" 

"We've got a code Rainbow Vick," Amira grins.

"WHAT!?" Oz actually flinches at the following squeal on the other side of the phone.

The shriek is so distracting, that Oz doesn't even process the fact that Amira and Vicky have apparently come up with codes for developments in his love life, 

"It's finally happening! Where are you both right now?!" Vicky asks frantically.

"My apartment, in the living room," Amira laughs despite the fact she's holding the phone away from her ear now.

"Okay, awesome, cool. I'll get Brian and we'll be over in ten. DON'T start without me, k?" The last part sounded mildly threatening.

"No starting without you. Yeah, I got that loud and clear," Amira doesn't even loom startled by Vicky's quick change in demeanor. 

"OKAY! BE THERE SOON BYYYYE," Before Vicky hangs up, there's the sound of a door getting kicked open and a disgruntled shout before Vicky's voice comes through again, "COME ON BRIAN! WE'VE GOT A FRIEND TO HELP!"

There's a disconnect noise from Amira's phone before the call hangs up. Oz stares at the small device alarmingly.

"Well, Vicky and Brian said they'd be over here in ten," Amira says cheerily as if Vicky didn't just break into Brian's apartment to kidnap him.

"How did Vicky even get to Brian's apartment so fast?" Oz asks curiously, "They live on opposite sides of the city."

"How did you- Oh yeah, you probably have super hearing," Amira pauses before answering Oz's question, "I have no fucking idea. It's like that blue backpack Vicky has. That girl is just a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a teenage girl skinsuit."

"That's morbid," Oz deadpans.

"Yeah, so?" Amira teasingly raises an eyebrow at Oz, "You're boyfriend disables old people and cuts off people's genitals for fun."

Most people would talk about the disabling and cutting part of Amira's statement, but not Oz, "DAMIEN IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"

"Not yet," Amira smirks, "Don't worry though, I'm sure that you two will be on each other like rabbits in heat by the time game night rolls around this Saturday."

"I-I- YOU'RE WORSE THAN ZOE!" Oz forgets about his problems for a minute as he buries his head in his hands to avoid the shame.

"Ha ha, the joke's on you. I take that as a compliment!" Amira cackles.

Oz pulls his legs up to his chest and flops over on Amira's couch in the fetal position, "I have the worst friends ever."

"Hey, it's not our fault that none of us compare to the hot demon you're thirsting after," Amira keeps adding insult to injury.

"I. Have. The. Worst. Friends. Ever."

Amira fake pouts, "Aw man… If we're the worst, we must give terrible advice. Maybe I should call Vicky back and tell her she doesn't need to-"

"NO!" Oz is sitting back up on the couch in a nanosecond and grabbing Amira's phone from her.

"Damn, you really need some help," Amira whistles before chuckling, "Don't worry Oz. We are going to advise you so hard that Damien will literally be begging to be your boyfriend."

Amira pauses a few seconds before murmuring under her breath, "Not that we really need to do that in the first place."

The last part of what Amira said confuses Oz, "What?"

"Nothing!" Amira's phone dings and it distracts Oz enough that when Amira snatches the device from his hands he doesn't put up a fight.

"Wow," Amira shakes her head at her phone in amusement, "Vicky's outside of my apartment complex right now. Her and Brian are heading up."

If Oz had a jaw, it would be dropped, "It hasn't even been ten minutes yet, how did Vicky get here so quickly?"

"I don't know," Amira shrugs, "You can ask her when she gets up here. Which considering how long ago she texted me should be in 5… 4… 3… 2…"

Amira's door swings open with a loud bang as Vicky rushes in, "OZ! YOU'RE FINALLY GOING TO CONFESS! OH, OUR LITTLE NERVOUS CINNAMON ROLL IS ABOUT TO BECOME BIG STRONG CINNAMON BREAD! I'M SO HYPED!"

Following behind at a normal pace, Brian enters Amira's apartment through the open door Vicky left before closing and locking it behind him. The zombie takes one look at Oz's flustered face and Vicky's excitement before sighing and yawning at the same time.

"So, you finally decided to wake up and smell the roses, huh?" Brian snorts as he takes a seat in next to Amira, "We were all wondering when you were gonna realize. Oh, and you can thank me for stopping these two from placing bets when you'd realize by the way."

"You didn't do shit," Amira rolls her eyes before pointedly turning to Vicky, "Pay up, I said he'd confess before Prom, you didn't."

"Hmph, he hasn't confessed  _ yet! _ " Vicky huffs, "You don't get a penny until then."

"Of course you just went and bet behind my back," Brian shakes his head fondly, "I literally don't know why I ever thought you two would ever listen to anything I say."

"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it!" Vicky smiles as she plops down next to Oz on the couch, "You and Oz are already like 75% of my impulse control. That has to count for something right?"

"Y'know what? I legitimately don't know if that should make me feel better or worse," Brian replies monotone.

Oz decides to ignore the fact his friends are betting on him in favor of getting to the meat of the problem. If he doesn't stop this banter soon, Oz will never get any advice or insight into his problem.

"G-Guys…" Oz pipes up softly, grabbing everyone's attention, "I-I asked you for help because I don't k-know what to do about Damien…"

"What's there to do?" Brian raises an eyebrow, "You like him, you ask him out, you go on a date, and then see where things go from there. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, right?"

"T-That… I can't j-just tell Damien I like him out of nowhere!" Oz thought that was obvious, "That would m-make things so awkward. N-Not that it's  _ not  _ going to be awkward no matter how I ask because I can't even talk about it w-without freaking out. Jeez, I'm gonna make a f-fool out of myself and I'm not even sure if Damien likes me. Who am I kidding, of course Damien doesn't like me! I probably annoy him all the time and I don't even know the first thing about dating. I'm just making an i-impulsive decision that's going to ruin our friendship. Why am I even doing this? This is such a terrible idea. I should just-"

"Okay, enough of that," Amira cuts off Oz's sad ramblings curtly. The incarnation of fear himself looks up at the djinn with a honestly sad amount of panic written all across his expression.

"Yeah! No talking like that when we're around mister!" Vicky scolds, "You are our best friend and nobody gets to bad mouth you, not even yourself!"

"I-"

"Vicky's right," Brian pipes up before Oz can say anything, "Panicking is completely normal when you're about to ask your crush out on a date, and honestly, I think I would be freaking out twice as much as you if I was about to ask somebody I like out."

"Same," Amira snorts, "Vicky's no exception either. Have you seen how she acts around Scott whenever he talks to her? If the hearts floating around her head got any bigger I think she'd sink right through the Earth."

"Hey! You're no better!" Vicky accuses, "I've literally seen you looking up one liners on your computer just so you could try and use them on Vera!"

"I- You- Why-" Amira's gaze suddenly hardens and her next words come out in a hiss, "You saw nothing!"

"Oh yes I-"

"Getting off track," Brian warns the two girls about to start arguing.

"Oh yeah, sorry," Vicky turns back to Oz as her previous expression of annoyance turns sincere, "You don't need to worry about anything! We're gonna help you figure out the best way to ask somebody on a date!"

"I-I know you'll all help me figure something amazing out, b-but what if nothing's enough?" Oz sounds so defeated it's sad, "What if D-Damien says no and I just ruin everything…?"

Unlike the earlier air of sincerity and comfort. All three of the monsters present seem amused by Oz's question. Brian sighs in exasperation, Amira rolls her eyes, and Vicky looks close to giggling as they all share an exasperated look.

"I think that's the one thing you need to worry about the least," Vicky smiles, "Seriously, worry about working the courage up to ask him out and stop thinking about what ifs. No matter what you do I'm sure you'll at least get some kind of date out of it."

"What does that mean?" Oz doesn't look less pitiful when he locks gazes with Vicky, but he does seem confused.

"What she means is that you can't worry about whether or not he'll reject you or not if you don't even have a plan to ask him out," Brian jumps in, "Which is what we're here to help you do."

"Yep! Planning is my thing, and I'm gonna help using my skills to score you a date," Vicky excitedly agrees with Brian.

"I'm not much of a romantic myself, but if I'm gonna let myself get shown up at giving advice by Vick I'll be damned," Amira jokes, "Now, where do we start?"

"Date, place, and time?" Brian suggests, "If Oz wants to ask Damien out right he should at least know when and where he's going to do it right?"

"Yeah, and I have the test idea for this!" Vicky grins, "Oz can drag Damien to Paris and he can confess in the city of love at sunset!"

"I don't think-" Brian is cut off by Amira.

"No way. I have a much better idea. He can ask Damien out on a date above the Whitehouse on the thirteenth of May at midnight in DC," Amira says sarcastically, "Vicky, Oz isn't from some cheesy romance chick flick you've watched. He's not going just drag Damien off to nowhere for some heartfelt confession."

"Why not?!" Vicky pouts while giving her best puppy dog eyes.

"One, we're talking about asking someone on a date, not proposing. Two, why would Damien want to go anywhere near Paris. Three, I barely think Oz would be able to ask Damien on a date in a normal setting. You plop him and his crush on the eiffel tower together and you'll get to watch Oz panic so much he falls off. Also, no offense, but we probably shouldn't even be focused on the date and time considering we all know Oz is probably going to chicken out the first few times he attempts to ask Damien out."

"She's got a point," Brian admits while making eye contact with Vicky. 

"I know, I know, I know," Vicky admits she's wrong before going deep into thought, "Well since date, time, and location are off the table. We can only talk about strategy."

"Strategy?" Oz, who's mostly been quiet and just letting things roll naturally, pipes up.

"Yeah! I get what Vicky's saying," Amira turns to Oz, "Since we have no idea when or where you're going to talk to Damien about this stuff, we just need to decide how to do it."

"Hmm, that's easier said than done," Brian frowns.

"You're telling me," Oz sets his head in his hands, "I'm the one who's spent the last twenty-four hours trying to puzzle out a way to bring it up without seeming desperate."

"Well, there's your problem right there," Amira smiles, "You are desperate."

"A-Amira, this isn't the time to-"

"I'm not teasing you Oz," Amira rolls her eyes before continuing to explain, "You like Damien a lot and you really, really, want to at least try to date him. The problem is that whenever you think about something like this for a long time, the only outcomes you can think about is the one where everything goes right and then all the others where something goes horribly wrong. You're desperate for something perfect. Perfect doesn't exist, so stop being desperate!"

After a few moments of silence, Vicky responds,"That was… surprisingly good advice." 

"I already told you. I'm trying to beat you," Amira jokes.

"I g-get what you're saying Amira, but anxiety's a bitch and I kinda can't help it," Oz admits meekly.

"It's fine. Amira's just trying to say that it's much more likely things are going to right rather than wrong," Brian interjects comfortingly.

"Well, since Oz has pretty much exhausted his brain by thinking about this for who knows how many days straight, I vote we give him ideas on what to do," Vicky suggests with a clap of her hands.

"How do we do that?" Brain asks.

"Easy, we use hypotheticals," Vicky whips out a pad and pen from nowhere before excitedly turning to Amira, "For example, Amira if someone asked you on a date what would they need to do to get a definite yes from you?"

"Uhh, I don't know," Amira seems to be thinking, "If they give me chocolates I'd totally say yes. Chocolate makes everyone cool in my book."

"Okay, let's analyze that for advice to give Oz," Vicky starts scribbling notes desperately, "Chocolate, got it. Brian, you next, same question.

"Hmm, I think I see where you're going with this," Brian smiles, "Let me think, I guess I'd consider going out with anybody who isn't annoying about it. Y'know how some people just ask over and over and over again until you say what they want? Those people are the worst. I'd only go out with somebody if they could respectfully agree to disagree with people while still expressing their own personal ideals. Just being chill about stuff is my thing so I don't want my significant other undermining that."

"You think about that a lot or something?" Amira snorts although it's done respectfully.

"Eh, not really, I just have aversions to dating specific types of people," Brian shrugs, "It's like, I would probably never date someone like Polly because I'd have to be their baby sitter all the time. I can be friends with those people, but not lovers. If I'm being honest, if I  _ was  _ going to date someone, I'd want them to be like Liam."

"Oh, really?" Vicky snorts sarcastically, "I wouldn't think someone like him would be your type."

Brian somehow doesn't realize Vicky's comments are sarcastic, "No way, Liam's great. As snooty as he can be sometimes, he doesn't ever force his ideas on others. It's more like, he just wants people to hear his opinion so they can talk about it. Getting into an argument with him is more like having a debate than an actual fight. Even if the both of us still end up disagreeing about something we don't actually care in the end because we're still talking."

"No fair," Amira pouts, "My answer to Vicky's question was so lame compared to Brian's. He gets to spout all this sweet emotions shit and stuff and I just said I wanted chocolate. Can I have a redo?"

"Nope! It's my turn!" Vicky finishes writing down whatever she thought was important from Brian's answer and grins, "I would definitely go on at least one date with anybody who's passionate about the things they do! I think the best quality a person can have is being extremely proud and excited about stuff! Like how Oz is always so proud of his cooking despite always being aggravatingly humble about it! I would never want to date somebody who's doing things they don't like just because or just doesn't care about  _ anything  _ at all. I would want somebody who's like their own cheer squad. That way, whenever they do something awesome I can encourage them, and then they'll do the same thing for me when I do something cool! It'd be the perfect healthy relationship!"

"That's awesome Vicky, but seriously, can I redo my answer. I feel super shallow for my terrible response," Amira pleads for a retry.

"Sorry not sorry! You've gotta stick with whatcha said for-ev-er!" Vicky smiles.

"Ugh, fine. I guess I'll just have to live with being someone that's considered shallow and vein!" Amira falls sideways into Brian's lap dramatically, "Forever, I will be known as the chocolate slut. The fire djinn that will go on a date with anyone for some coco."

"Stop it," Vicky looks like she's on the verge of bursting into laughter, "I know what you're doing."

"Do you Vicky?" Amira asks dramatically as she sits back up from Brian's lap, "Because I don't… You've stunted my expression of free will so I no longer know why I do anything? Maybe if I had ever been able to answer that question you asked a few minutes ago properly I'd be able to tell you. But alas, I did not! Woe is me, stuck with expressionlessness… forever."

The dam finally breaks and Vicky bursts into unrestrained laughter, "Fine, answer the stupid question again. You get your redo, you get your redo."

"Score!" Amira fistbumps the air before she gets serious, "For real though, I'll be really serious now. I guess I'd at least say yes to one date if somebody seems super interested in me and didn't beat around the bush with it. Y'know, they just text me to meet them behind the school and then ask instead of making a big shindig in the hallways. As much as I like being dramatic, being put on the spot like that is a big no, no. I want somebody who's tough skinned, but sweet on the inside. Someone who can be charming and fun, but absolutely serious when needed."

"Okay… they have to be enthusiastic, honest with how they feel, not make a scene, and a tsundere!" Vicky finishes writing, "Got it!"

"Hey! I didn't say anything about dating a tsundere!" Amira blushes.

"No, but you might have well have," Brian leans back against the couch.

"I did not-"

"Okay, so looking through what I wrote down, the only thing really in common between all our answers is the fact we'd all date somebody who respects us and our personal boundaries."

"Well duh," Amira instantly switches tunes from moments earlier, "Nobody  _ wants _ to purposefully get into a toxic relationship."

"Well that's the only thing we all have in common for dating tastes!" Vicky pouts, "What more do you want from me?"

"Uh, please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think any of this is going to help me ask Damien on a date," Oz cuts into the conversation, "I mean, you all like different types of people and have different preferences so how is this going to tell me what to do about Damien?"

"Uh, you can just… be yourself because Damien is already your bestfriend and he'll trip over his own feet to please you," Amira offers, "I'm pretty sure he'd date you in a heartbeat, and do a lot more if had more time.

"A-Amira, please don't joke with me," Oz pleads, "I know Damien and I are friends, but that doesn't mean he likes me… Lots of people have friends that they'd never even consider having a relationship with…"

"Oz, my sweet, wonderful, secretly deadly, friend," Vicky starts, "I really, truly, absolutely, think you should just blurt out how you feel the next time you see Damien."

"I c-can't just outright say it!" Oz protests.

"Why not?" Brian lifts an eyebrow, "I mean, Vicky has a point. If you just get it out of the way right off the bat, you'll know sooner and it won't be as big of a deal. It'd only be worse if you planned some type of big confession and he said no."

  * "Oh, don't say that. Just the idea of him saying no after I did something like that gives me anxiety," Oz shakes his head side to side.



Amira, Vicky, and Brian share another glance. Oz refuses to believe Damien likes him just as much as he likes him, so how do they tell him that he could literally ask the demon out in the most embarrassing display way possible and he'd still say yes without  _ actually _ saying it? Simple, they let Vicky and her encouraging/scheming friend mode handle the problem.

"Okay, let's make a plan," Vicky makes a hold up sign with her hands, "You don't want to ask Damien out of nowhere because that would feel too impersonal and like you just have an infatuation or something?"

"Wow, um, yes actually," Oz looks surprised that Vicky hit the nail on the head so quickly.

"Got it. That means no love letters or texts. From what it sounds like you want to be face-to-face when this happens," Vicky waits for Oz to nod before continuing, "Buuuut, you also don't want to do anything crazy because you don't want to be completely embarrassed if things go wrong."

"Y-Yeah…" Oz meekly confirms.

"Well then, I'm not gonna lie, I don't think this is gonna happen," Vicky frowns.

"VICKY!" Amira yelps, "Don't say that! We've been waiting for this chance since the first week of school! There's gotta be a way to make this happen!"

Vicky pauses a moment to replay her previous words in her head as she watches Oz's expression sink. It takes a moment, but a few moments pass and revelation flashes across the blue monster's features so quickly it's almost like it wasn't there at all.

"Wait, wait, wait. That is  _ NOT  _ how I meant for that to come out," Vicky backtracks, "Damien loves you, but you're wanting to confess to him in an impossible way. You can't be subtle and blunt at the same time. You've gotta gather up all your courage and pick one over the other. That's what I meant!"

"Jeez," Amira sighs, "Think before you speak sometimes."

"Like you're one to talk?" Brian snorts.

Ignoring Vicky and Brian, Amira throws an arm around Oz's shoulders, "I've got an idea. Why don't you just ask Damien how he'd like to get asked out?"

"W-What? How would that work?" Oz looks moderately confused, "You want me to ask Damien how I should ask him out?"

"Yes," Amira's hair fires up along with her confidence.

"Am I missing something?" Oz turns to Vicky and Brian for some type of explanation.

About that time, Amira realizes not everybody works on the same train of thought as her, and decides to share her idea, "Damien and you are best friends. You hang out together, help each other, and talk about everything. It's not that big of a stretch if you, oh I don't know, decided to ask him for advice on how to confess to some unnamed person who's caught your interest right? Y'know, maybe you're just too nervous about what not to do so you ask what Damien would like if someone was about to ask him out."

It's funny when Amira finishes because she can watch the exact moment her plan registers in everyone else's minds. Vicky lights up and barely conceals a squeal, Brian nods in approval, and Oz looks hopeful.

"T-That-" Oz pauses, "D-Do you really think that'll work?"

"Of course it will!" Vicky shouts, "It's perfect! This way, you'll know exactly what Damien wants and he'll be none the wiser!"

"It's more likely to work than anything else we come up with," Brian shrugs.

"And I can just ask that? Whenever?" Oz asks, waiting for the catch.

"Well, you've gotta play the part of actually having a crush, but considering how nervous you are right now, I think you'll be fine on that front," Amira's grinning, "As for when, of course you can do it whenever! It's not like you're asking Damien out yet! You're just asking how he'd like to be asked out!"

"This way when you actually go to confess, you won't have to worry about embarrassing yourself!" Vicky's grin perfectly matches Amira's.

"This could work," Oz nods to himself, "This could actually work!"

Vicky and Amira share a grin while Brian smiles fondly. The look of excitement on Oz's face is almost worth his absolute obliviousness about Damien's affections.  _ Almost _ . 

"Seems so," Brian looks at Oz in amusement, "Are you going to try asking him today or tomorrow?"

Oz pauses quizzically, "How could I tell him today? School's already over?"

At the exact same time, Amira, Brian, and Amira's stop in absolute disbelief. 

"He didn't know?" Vicky looks amused and shocked, a dangerous combination.

"I thought he did it because he was desperate not because he didn't check the clock," Amira looks a few seconds away from laughing herself.

"What? What did I do?" Oz looks between all of his friends in confusion.

"Oz," Brian catches the incarnation of fear's attention, "What time do you think it is?"

Oz is thrown off by the question, but answers anyways, "It's like 4 P.M or something, right?"

That's where Vicky and Amira finally start laughing it up. Brian even chuckles a little as Oz grows even more concerned.

"What's going on? Did I do something weird?" Oz only grows more curious as his friends laugh harder.

"Oz! It's 2 A.M! We have to go to school in like three hours!" Vicky's the one to finally answer Oz's questions.

"It's what?!" Oz yelps, "It is not. You guys are joking right? There's no way that…"

As he was talking, Amira grabbed her phone before shoving it in Oz's face. Sure enough, the little clock on the touchscreen shows it's three in the morning.

Oz switches tunes quickly after that, "Oh my god, I am so sorry. I woke you all up at this hellish hour to give me dating advice. I am so sorry. I can't believe you aren't pissed at me. I am so, so, so, so sorry. Why do you all even put up with me? I didn't even check the-"

"Woah, woah, woah, slow down there bud," Amira cuts Oz off, "If we were upset about you waking us up this early would we be helping you figure out how to woo the demon of your dreams?"

Oz pauses, "N-No."

"Exactly!" Vicky takes over for Amira, "I've been waiting for you to say something about your crush since the beginning of the year. You could've told me you had a crush on him in the middle of Armageddon and I still would've shown up at Amira's apartment to give you advice. Mostly because I want to give you advice, but also because you're probably my safest bet at surviving the end of the world."

"Really?" Oz asks quietly.

"Of course!" Amira laughs, "All three of us are happy to talk to you about anything whenever you need to. That's why we're friends you stupid dummy!"

"Agreed," Brian nods, "We'd literally be friends with you even if you committed genocide. I mean, we're still friends with Miranda and her family's probably killed millions of people indirectly and directly."

"Yeah, so stop worrying about waking us up at an ungodly hour and start thinking about where you want your first date with Damien to be at!" Vicky smiles, "Then tell us!"

"I-I," At first Oz is going to say he rather not talk about that in fear of getting his hopes up, but when he makes eye contact with Amira and Vicky, he decides that he at least owes then this for waking them up, "W-Well, knowing Damien, there will have to be some type of arson no matter what. So I guess I'd ask if he wanted to go-"

As the morning continues moving forward, Oz's friends ask him more and more questions until Oz is a lot less nervous and a lot more embarrassed. The teasing is light hearted though and mostly has to do with the fact all three monsters other than Oz know he already has Damien LaVey wrapped around his finger. 

Oz on the other hand, can't help feeling incredibly thankful for his friends' encouragement. When he asked Amira for help, Oz was walking a fine line between having a panic attack or a breakdown. The familiar voices and behavior instinctively calmed him down. Honestly, Oz still doesn't know how he could possibly deserve such wonderful friends.

As the sun starts to rise over the horizon and the time to actually go to school gets shorter and shorter, Oz, Amira, Vicky, and Brian finally start to say their goodbyes. 

Vicky and Brian have to leave first because there's early morning football practice and as Vicky said, "What's the team going to do without their biggest fan? Are they gonna let those stupid other cheerleaders handle morale? I think not!"

Sooner rather than later, it comes time for Oz and Amira to go to school as well. Although, since both of them are already ready and need to get there at the same time. Their goodbye happens at the school instead of in Amira's apartment, since Oz insists on just teleporting them both there.

The halls of the school aren't very full of people yet since classes haven't started and there's nothing alarming going on because the most chaotic students of the school haven't showed up yet. For a moment, both Oz and Amira stand next to each other silently before they both try to break the quiet at the same time.

"Hey Oz-

"Well, I guess it's-

Both pause and glance at each other before Oz tilts his head, "You can go first."

Amira suddenly looks very awkward, "I was just gonna say that I'm really glad you came to me and the others for help. Lately, it feels like we aren't as together as we used to be y'know. Between you practically adopting Zoe as your sister, Vicky waging war against the cheer squad, and Brian getting dragged around by Liam all the time I'm just glad you still feel comfortable enough to talk to us about stuff. Brian and Vicky will never bring it up cause they think they know you'd feel terrible about it, but after we found out you kept the whole incarnation of fear a secret because you thought we'd leave you, well, we all thought we were awful friends. I mean, you thought we'd leave you just because you had a shady past, and that's a punch to the gut, you get it?"

Oz's eyes go wide, "I didn't think you'd leave me! Well, I did… but that was just because of how great you guys are! Most days I don't even understand why any of you stick around me… I'm some stuttering dork half the time and the other half the time I'm just causing you trouble. I didn't think I deserved you so I thought that if you knew what I was you would realize i wasn't worth it and just run for the hills."

Amira shakes her head, "I know. After a bit of talking we all figured that's what it was, but that's not the point of me telling you this. My point was that you are our friend and we'll stick with you till the end. If you need somebody to spam mail the fucking hell out of the people you don't like, I'm your girl, if you need someone to intimidate some jerks and get them to run away, Brian will always have your back, and if you need somebody to give you a sappy inspirational speech, Vicky's always prepared for that. I just… wanted to let you know that. Y'know, just in case this whole asking Damien out thing goes south and we all need to kick some demon ass."

Oz sees right through Amira's joke at the end of her speech and sees the sincerity in her expression. Oz can't help reiterated his thoughts from earlier. How did he ever manage to get such wonderful friends? 

"Amira… t-thank you," Oz almost lets his mouth rip open so he can smile, but he manages to stop the urge, "I trust each of you more than I trust myself most of the time. I don't think I'll ever stop being grateful you're my friends."

"Same goes for us," Amira laughs and she wraps her arms around Oz's neck and starts to ruffle his hair, "Same goes for us."

…

Love is the weirdest fucking crap in the whole damn universe. It makes you act stupid, say dumb things, and just overall makes a fool out of involved with it. However, it's also one of the most hardcore emotions in the universe too. Love can be goofy and sappy but it's also the leading motive for most badassest things to ever happen.

From war, to murder, to actual goddamn genocide, all types of batshit crazy things happen in the name of love. Seriously, why do thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies go skydiving and crap when love is the most thrilling and powerful things… ever.

Damien knows this fact intimately for two reasons. One is that his parents single-handedly destroyed thousands of armies and prejudices hand in hand just because. If that isn't the definition of a power couple, then what is? The second reason is a lot more of a first hand experience. Damien's in love himself. He's not even ashamed to admit he absolutely adores his best friend. How could he when Ozzie is so amazing? 

Seriously, Damien doesn't know anybody who doesn't like Oz at least as a friend. He's just so… cute? Badass? Sweet? Ugh, Damien could go on and on about all the reasons Oz is awesome, but he doesn't have time. 

Oz is just too great. That's the problem. In normal circumstances it wouldn't be, but from Damien's perspective nothing could be a bigger threat to his piece of mind. Especially after mister dark and broody along with the arrogant neon prince decided the same thing. Don't get Damien wrong, he understands that Oz is free to date whoever the hell he wants, but in those moments where Damien thought he was actually going to say yes, the demon just wanted to watch the world burn. 

It reminded Damien of when Oz was telling him all about the history he lived through. Whether he was emotionless or not at the time, the incarnation of fear understood what was going on enough to retell different historic events. The funny thing about most stories in history is that there's always some type of power couple no matter what era that doesn't take shit from anyone disrespecting their partner. Damien wants that. Mostly because he wants to absolutely destroy anyone who makes Oz uncomfortable, but also because Damien's probably the most jealous demon alive right now. Sure, Damien acted like he couldn't have cared less after the whole threesome suggestion thing happened, but that's all it was, an act.

So yeah, Damien's ready to resort to anything to figure out how to confess to Ozzie and properly make him the demon's boyfriend. Once that happens, nobody would even  **_dare_ ** ask Oz on a date in front of Damien again. It would be even better if they just don't attempt to at all, but knowing how cool Oz is along with how stupid people at Spooky High are, those chances are low. 

Still, properly confessing requires some technique and a plan, both of which are in fields Damien's lacking in. Which is a problem because Damien refuses to sit idly by anymore and just waits for a perfect romantic opportunity to open up for him while Oz is getting harassed by person after person trying to get in his pants and nothing else! 

As his thoughts get darker and more fueled by rage, Damien doesn't even notice how the people in the hallway dive out of his way more than usual as he stompes towards the library. 

Yeah, Damien's heading to the library because as much as he hates it to admit it, he needs help. Damien can write a love poem and seduce the hell out of someone with ease, but an honest to god heart to heart with the person that turns his heart to mush is a totally different story altogether. Considering this, Damien has made the executive decision to put Oz above his pride and ask his no good troublesome friends for help. Excluding Zoe, because Damien's been sending a whole bunch of 'fuck you's her way ever since he found out she's the one that set Oz up for getting asked out in first place.

With little to no calmness left to spare before the coming conversation, Damien skips being polite like Oz always insists and throws the doors open to the library. The doors swing open and hit the walls so hard that every single person in the library looks up from their places. 

A few students almost go to shoosh the loud newcomer, but their protests die in their throats when they realize the intruder is Damien and he looks much more than just annoyed. The second thing most everyone in the room does is check and see if Oz is with the demon, because as everyone knows, he's the only one that can calm Damien down when he's raging. When they realize Oz is nowhere in sight, a chain reaction is set off across the library as all the students make a run for it. 

Damien ignores the entropy he inadvertently created and makes his way towards the table at the very back of the library where Damien insisted his friends meet him. The moment he spots the table, all his friends spot him. Whatever silly banter or argument was going on instantly stops as Damien makes a big show of ranking out the only empty seat left and sits down.

"Well, you look more pissed than normal," Vera pointedly raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you look grumpy," Polly nods from where she's floating above her seat, upside down.

Before giving an answer to Vera's implied question, Damien rakes his eyes around the table to see who actually came at his request. To Damien's surprise, everyone he told to come showed up. Vera, Polly, Liam, Scott, Miranda, and Calulester are all around the table staring at him questioningly.

"Using my scanner system, I have detected multiple signs of hostility in your body behavior that is usually associated with high amounts of anger. Considering my algorithm for friendship, I believe I am supposed to find some way to comfort you," Calculester's screen turns red for a second, "However, my algorithm also says I should not attempt any consoling until I know the cause of distress. Friend Damien, could you please tell me what has caused your emotional disarray?"

"Yes, I'd like to know what happened as well," Liam's frowning, "You always at least light something on fire whenever you come into the library. I find the fact that you avoided fire altogether on your way here… concerning."

"While I share your sentiment," Miranda pipes up, "I much rather know why Damien called us all here in the first place."

"Yeah! I was hanging out with Vicky when you texted me! We were playing fetch! Scott drools as he talks, as if he's still thinking about going after tennis balls.

Damien grumbles something under his breath and clenches his fists while scowling. Everyone at the table shares a glance of confusion before turning their attention back to Damien.

"Excuse us, but we couldn't hear you," Miranda decides to speak up for the group.

"I need your fucking help," Damien manages to make his plea for asistance sound more like a threat with his snarling.

However, instead of actually intimidating anyone whatsoever, it just surprises them. If the eyes that are blown wide or the jaws dropped are anything to go by, Damien probably did more than just surprise them.

"I never thought I'd see the day," Vera laughs when she regains her composure.

"Don't get too excited Vera. Damien might have been replaced by an alien species," Liam tries to stay serious, but even he looks amused if you consider the small upturn of his lips.

"Not an alien!" Scott yelps, "Who would steal Damien and replace him with one of those?!"

Damien stews in the teasing and wonders yet again if asking for help is worth dealing with his friends shit when they find out what he needs help with. If they're this annoying already, he loathes what they're gonna say when he reveals his crush. Still, despite hoe close he is to flipping the table and saying fuck it, the nervous emergy associated with confessing empty handed wins out over the rage and makes him stay silent despite the oncoming jeers.

"I'm not a damn alien! Now are you going to act like dicks all day or am I actually going to be able to ask for your advice on something?!" Okay, so Damien doesn't stay silent in face of the teasing, but it's close enough for him.

"Usually people have to pay a consultant's fee to talk to me, but considering you're my friend and I'm curious, I'll let you say your piece," Vera smirks.

"Hmph, while Vera might ask for money, I, as royalty will happily give you advice Damien. It's my future job to rule the Merkindom and give everyone in it advice, right? This'll be good practice for then," Miranda smiles.

"Yo, I'm the best at giving advice!" Polly shouts as she starts to slowly float upright again, "Like, there was this one time when I saw this mortal teenager about to illegally buy cigs, and I was all like, 'STOP!' Then she stopped and I told her that ciggerettes are good for your health and gave her a fuck ton of heroine instead. She overdosed like five minutes later cause she tried to use it all and once. She totally became a ghost and now we party every thursday together. She seems super happy so I'm pretty sure I gave her the right kinda advice."

"Hmmm, I don't know," Scott frowns, "Isn't it a bad thing to die? Like, super bad?"

"What!? No!" Polly almost sounds offended, "Dying was the best thing to ever happen to me! Just one example of why it's so great was this one time I tried to-"

"Okay, getting off the topic of untimely deaths," Liam cuts Polly's impromptu storytime short, "Let's find out why we were all called here in the first place."

Liam's statement effectively shuts everyone up and makes them turn their attention to an increasingly annoyed Damien. With a frustrated huff, Damien leans back in his seat and crosses his arms. He's about to let loose the truth and wait for the oncoming taunts, when somebody interrupts him yet again.

"Syncing friend Damien's current behavior with that of my previously recorded encounters with him, I have found that there is an 80.65% chance that his current expression and body language is in direct correlation with the disease Zoe alerted me as being called lovesick," Calculester apparently got tired of waiting for Damien to speak and took things into his own hands, "I cross referenced the data of symptoms for this sickness in my databank and found you've been exhibiting them this entire conversation. Using my system again, I calculated that there is an almost 95.69% percent chance that the person who is the origin of such actions is Oz considering this behavior of yours is always more active around him."

Damien can't help it, he turns magenta. If everyone at the table was shocked earlier, now they've been rendered catatonic. Well, except for Calculester, who just seems to be waiting for confirmation on his assessment from Damien. The first to break the silence is Polly, who crashes into her chair while she cackles uncontrollably.

"Oh- HAHAHA! Jesus Cal, that was a perfect timing bud," Polly hits the table as she starts crying from how hard she's laughing, "My god- pft HA! The look on his face was just priceless! Absolutely PRICELESS!"

"Wait a moment," Liam breaks from his surprise to turn a scrutinizing gaze towards Damien, "Did you seriously invite all of us to the library with cryptic text messages so you could actually tell us you like Oz, or did Calculester just misread the room?"

"There is only a 10% chance I misread the room and an even lower 4.31% chance that I chose Oz as the object of Damien's affections incorrectly," Calulester defends himself and his processing.

"We know how good your processors, algorithms, or whatever are, we just have to hear it from the source," Vera waves off Calculester's statement with her attention firmly focused on Damien, "Liam asked you a question Damien. Why  _ are _ we here?"

Damien snaps back into reality and does his best to smother the color and heat in his cheeks, "Calc's right okay! I want to ask Ozzie on a date, but I have no goddamn idea on how to do it! Make fun of me or whatever, but I swear if you tell anybody I told you this I will punch you in the face and break your nose!"

The reactions around the table are split for some reason. Polly and Vera's faces light up while Miranda, Scott, and Liam's drop. Calculester just looks satisfied that he guessed exactly why Damien was acting the way he was.

"Woo hoo!" Polly punches both her fists in the air, "We won the bet! Come on guys, fork it over! Mama's getting herself the extra expensive drugs tonight!"

"Dammit," Liam sets a nice stack of cash on the table that Vera snatches quickly. The vampire sighs dejectedly, "I really need to stop going against Vera."

"Yes you do," Vera chuckles softly as she turns her predator-like gaze to Scott and Miranda, "You two lost as well, pay up."

Miranda pouts as she reaches into her pocket and places a ruby on the table, "I can't believe he actually asked for help…"

Scott whimpers as he sets a bone on the table and starts to push it towards Vera. The gorgon takes one look at the drool ridden fossil and shakes her head as she reaches for Miranda's gem instead.

"No thank you. You can keep your bone Scott," Vera barely hides her disgust as she stares as the dirty bone.

"What!? You're letting me keep it even though I lost?" Scott smiles, "Thank you Vera, you're the best!"

"Yes, yes, of course I am," The gorgon rolls her eyes before murmuring, "You're only a part of the betting to not be left out anyways. I'm not going to just take your sentimental junk just because."

"Uh, what the hell is going on?" Damien glares at everyone around the table.

Calulester decides to take one for the team yet again, "Vera, Liam, Scott, Polly, and Miranda have been making bets about your love life. One of them was whether or not you would ask any of them for dating advice at any point and time in the future. Vera and Polly said you would while everyone else disagreed. I would also have been included on the winning side if I had not been banned from betting because of my highly advanced prediction system."

When Calulester's finished talking, Damien sends a look towards his friends that practically promises death, "You were betting about me and Oz?"

Miranda and Scott have the decency to at least look ashamed. Polly, Liam, and Vera on the other hand, just look very amused.

"Of course we were," Liam snorts, "You two have to be the most oblivious set of monsters I have ever seen in my life. I'm almost sure there's not a single timeline in the entirety of the universe that you aren't blatantly obvious about how much you like him."

"I- You-" Damien tries to stammer out a response while heat rises to his face all over again.

"Liam's right," Polly laughs, "For a long time I thought you two were just trying to date in secret. When I figured out neither of you were actually dating, I flipped my shit!"

"You aren't very good at hiding your feelings Damien," Vera shakes her head in amusement, "I honestly think people could see you pining after Oz from outer space."

"Cool, good to know. If I'm that obvious, why the hell hasn't Oz figured me out yet and said something about it? You got an answer for that smartasses?!" Sue Damien, he's annoyed to have been seen through so quickly and a little petty about it.

"As I said earlier," Liam deadpans, "You are both the most oblivious set of monsters I have ever seen in my long, long life."

"What-fucking-ever" Damien sinks into his seat with a scowl.

"Okay, but seriously, let's get to business," Vera stops everyone from antagonizing Damien before he clams up and runs away, "What do you need us to help you with?"

Damien perks up, but only for a second before sinking back down in his seat again and mumbling something.

"My audio processors could not pick that up friend Damien," Calulester tilts his head to the side.

"I WANT TO ASK OZ OUT, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW!" Damien snaps.

Nobody at the table even regusters Damien's snap as they look thoughtful.

"Well, it's good to know you're finally making a move on him," Polly sighs, "But I honestly don't know how to ask somebody on a date. Usually, I'm the one getting asked on dates, y'know?"

"Same," Vera, Liam, and Miranda answer at the same time, looking frustrated.

"Is asking someone on a date just asking someone you like to hang out with you?" Scott asks curiously.

"Yes, friend Scott," Calculester nods, "That is the exact definition of a date, except it is usually about romantic attraction.

"Oh…" Scott frowns, "I guess I've never asked anyone on a date either then…"

"Dammit," Damien growls, "I should have known none of you would be any help."

"Wait a moment Damien," Miranda grabs the table's attention, "Just because I have never asked someone on a date does not mean I don't have advice. I've been courted by princes so many times I would be highly unintelligent if I didn't know the difference between a good romantic proposal and a bad one."

"Exactly," Vera nods, "I can tell you exactly what not to do."

Liam sighs, "I've lived four hundred years, I've at least picked up some knowledge on how to make someone swoon. As much as I hate the stereotype, I did go through that suave vampire phase in the 1800s."

"Yeah, and I can tell you cool sex positions I've tried out so you can use them on Oz when you inevitably get a room together!" Polly adds, making everyone pause.

There's an awkward pause after Polly's finished. Damien blushes and Calclulester, who is completely ignorant of the silence, continues with his pledge of help.

"Despite having no real emotional experience, I will use the vast sea called the internet to search for advice on your problems," Calulester sounds happy.

"Yeah! I'll help too!" Scott doesn't tell them how, but the sentiment is still appreciated.

"Fine, then. How am I supposed to ask Oz on a date then?" Despite his scowl and growl, Damien's voice lacks any real heat, and if anything, sounds a little desperate.

"Well, my search of the internet is bringing up mixed results. Some websites seem to lean towards big gestures while others insist on being subtle. Although most of this advice is advertised for asking people out you've never met before," Calulester digitally frowns, "I must change my search parameters. Come back to me in a few moments."

"Well, while Cal does that, I might as well inform you what not to do," Vera sighs as she starts counting on her fingers the different things not to do, "Don't be a self imposed jerk. Don't ask him out more than once, a no is a no. Don't ask him out in public because that puts pressure on him to say yes. Don't be too subtle. Don't be too showy. Make sure you don't-"

"I feel like all these don'ts are unhelpful considering Damien doesn't know what to do, so I'll take over," Miranda pipes up, "The best offers for courtship always come with some type of offering. I'm personally partial to the head of an air person in the center of a rose bouquet, but anything else is fine as well. After that, I must say that the most appealing suitors are the ones that fight each other for my hand. It's quite a fun show to see them die for me."

"Okay, but like, Damien's not going to fight anybody for Oz's hand because he's already scared anyone who likes Oz like that away," Polly rolls her eyes as she floats across the table to get closer to Damien, "Now as the master of a good time, I'd recommend you skip all the boring stuff and get right to the fun stuff. Just pin him to a wall, ask if he likes you, and then go from there however you like."

"I'm not trying go get laid!" Damien snarls, "I'm trying to get Oz to date me! I'm not gonna insist we have sex the moment he says he feels the same way! Hell, how would I ever rebound from something that fucking awkward if he saif no!"

"I'm sure it'll be fine!" Polly giggles, "Why would Oz ever say no?"

Damien looks like he's about to explode, as Liam takes over the conversation and starts to defuse it, "That's enough out of you Polly. We all agree with Damien. That is not a good way to go asking someone on a date."

"I beg to differ!" Polly crosses her arms and pouts, "My idea is perfectly-"

"You should just be yourself," Liam interrupts, "Don't act crazy and just stay casual. Big statements are always cool, but sometimes people appreciate the little things more than the big ones."

"I think you should just go for it!" Scott smiles and everyone turns their attention to him, although they don't expect much from his advice, "Considering how close you already are it would be crazy to say he'd get upset about you asking him out. The worst thing that could happen is that he says no and then you stay friends. Although, I'd think that the best way to go about this from a date perspective is to just plan a nice casual hang out alone before you spring the question on him. That way you're both alone and Oz knows you're being serious. I couldn't think of anything worse than him laughing and thinking it's a joke after all. However, in my personal opinion, you shouldn't worry about all that and just focus on the fact he might say yes and all the good things that come after that."

That's three times in the last thirty minutes that jaws have hit the floor. This time though, this time it was completely warranted because, holy shit, what just came out of Scott's mouth. Damien somehow stays unfazed by Scott's insane wise man act and looks thoughtful. 

"So, you're saying that I should plan on taking Oz to hang out like normal, but prepare to confess at the end of the night. That way the mood's right and everything, but it's also not to obvious," A grin splits across Damien's face, "That fucking work!"

"There is a 99.78% chance that Scott's plan will go smoothly until the point of confession if my just newly learned knowledge of dating is correct," Calculester nods before turning to Scott, "I am very impressed by your thinking by the way friend Scott. I could not have come up with a better plan myself!"

"Thanks! I just thought about what Vicky would say and then said that! She always gives the best advice after all!" Scott smiles, ignoring the looks of shocked amazements his friends are giving him after his uncharacteristic bout of advice.

"Hey Cal," Damien's already getting up from his seat at the table to go act on Scott's advice, "What are the chances Oz'll say yes?"

"About 95%," Calulester actually sounds… amused?

"I like those chances!" Damien grins as he starts walking out of the library excitedly. It's easy to tell the demon't in a better mood than earlier because he sets fire to a shelf on his way out while screaming, "FUCK YEAH!"

Everyone at the table takes a moment to watch him go before the fire alarms kick on and the sprinklers start. Everyone except Polly makes a hasty escape from the library to keep from getting soaked.

Polly stares forward with a confused expression as she replays all the information she just soaked up, "Damien's pretty much taking Oz on a date, to ask him on a date. Huh… weird."


	46. ...And that's when everything went wrong.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Oz and Damien walk into Spooky High with agendas today. Oz to figure out how to ask the local pyromaniac on a date and Damien to confess to his best friend. Both are very similar goals, but yet the exact- no, wait. They are literally trying to do the exact same thing. Ha, the author couldn't have planned that better huh? 
> 
> https://youtu.be/YE8PTMSFMUg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I skipped an upload. Random stuff came up and derailed my writing time.

"Hey Ozzie!" Damien doesn't waste time when he spots his crush, and hopefully soon to be boyfriend, in the hallway, and instantly calls out to him. However, Instead of looking up like he usually does when his name gets called, Oz stays firmly planted in place.

In times like these, one of two things is always true. Either Oz is worrying about something and is too focused to look up, or his phobias are being pesky assholes. Actually, thinking about it, there is a third option where both of those are true at the same time. It's easy enough for his phobias to butt in and add their two sense whenever Oz is considering something, or at least, that's what Oz says when he complains about them. The underlying fondness the incarnation of fear uses when talking about his phobias would make Damien jealous if he didn't think it was so adorable.

Dismissing his thoughts of how cute Oz is to clear his head for what's about to come, Damien makes his way across the hallway and up to Oz. The closer the demon gets, the more he realizes the third option from earlier was probably the right assumption. Oz's phobias are having a rave on Oz's shoulders while he obviously looks concerned and anxious at the same time. 

Oz's eyebrows are furrowed as he glances at the little fears, listening to their squeaks on whatever subject they were all discussing. Not for the first time, Damien wishes he could figure out what they were saying. It would make lots of things more convenient if he could ask the little blots about what goes on in Oz's head. 

"What are you doing standing in the center of the hallway like a statue? If you're bored enough to be blocking traffic you know I'm always willing to make things livelier with some explosions," Without thinking about it, Damien naturally slings an arm over Oz's shoulder like he's always done. However, unlike all the other times, Oz practically jumps out of his skin before instantly turning towards Damien.

"J-Jeez, don't come up and do that all of a sudden," Oz scolds

"Did I scare the literal fear?" Damien teases, "Well, that's something to cross off the bucket list."

"No, you just surprised me," Oz huffs embarrassedly.

"Hmm… That sounds like something somebody who got scared would say," Damien falls into the normal banter Oz and him always have despite the demon's ulterior motives for the conversation.

"You did not scare me," Oz protests, "I… it just startled me when my phobias got smothered by your arm. We were in the middle of a conversation you know."

As if on cue, three phobias peak out of Oz's hair and start squeaking at Damien threateningly while shaking their little fists at his arm that is now taking up their usual spots. Damien curses himself for not thinking about them when he threw his arm over Oz's shoulder when he had literally just been observing the tiny black inklings.

"Sorry," Damien winces apologetically, turning his attention to the angry phobias on Oz's head, an action that's only been willingly directed at three monsters routinely in Damien's life. Said monsters being both of Damien's dads and the newest addition to the list, the incarnation of fear.

The phobias on Oz's head instantly calm down at Damien's curt apology. Although they still send him a couple of glares as they sink back into Oz's dark matter frame. One of the phobias makes sure to point at Damien and itself in an 'I'm watching you gesture.'

"You're lucky they like you," If smiling without a mouth was a thing, then that's what Oz would be doing, "The last time Zoe and Amira did that to them, they refused to come out around them for a week."

"They like me more than Zoe and the loser gang?" Damien can't he's not surprised by that tidbit of information because he definitely is.

"Don't tell them that," Oz snorts, "They'll get all sad and pity."

"Well shit, there go my plans on bragging," Damien huffs and rolls his eyes as he glances at where Oz's phobias disappeared from. As an afterthought, Damien can't help asking about them, "Hey, what were you even talking about anyways?"

"N-Nothing important!" Oz turns pink and stammers before quickly switching the topic back to why his phobias like Damien, "A-As for my phobias liking you, well, Pyrophobia likes watching you set things on fire, Hemophobia just like seeing blood in general, and you do a lot of other stuff some of the them like so t-they kinda just put in good words for you with the others." 

Damien won't lie and say that information didn't leave him feeling irrationally satisfied. He doesn't even realize his second question was practically ignored. Damien's too focused on the fact the phobias like him more than Zoe, and Oz has said on multiple occasions that she's like a little sister to him. Damien promises himself to rub it in the other eldritch abomination's face later. The demon should probably take his newfound role of most liked humbly, but he's still a little peeved at Zoe for her bullshit plan a couple of days ago. 

Still, Damien hides his pride under a mask of confidence, "Of course they like me the most, I'm the best. I'd question they're judgement if they didn't."

Oz recovers from his fluster and gives Damien a cheeky glance while relaxing all over again under Damien's arm, "I never said they liked you the most. I just said you're on the list of people they do. Brian's probably at the top just because he sneaks them snacks when I'm not paying attention."

All of Damien's earlier confidence crumbles away as he scowls spitefully, "I am so much better than that brain eater…"

Oz shakes his head, "I think you're both pretty great."

"Nope! I'm way better!" Damien retracts his arm from Oz in favor of crossing it over his chest. This is the opportunity he's been waiting for, "And I'm gonna prove it."

Damien has been setting stuff up for his big confession the last few days. Normally Damien wouldn't put this much effort into something when he doesn't know how Oz'll react, but considering the question he wants answered, he believes going above and beyond is in his best interests. 

After all the prep work that went into what Damien has planned, he's still been waiting for the perfect time to invite Oz. Well, he hasn't waited that long since he finished everything that very morning. Still, Damien thinks now is a good of a time as any to bring this up. It also might be even more of an incentive that Zoe's game night is coming up and Damien hopes to have an answer from Oz by then, just so he can make sure the totem bitch knows not to include Oz in any more of her hair brained relationship schemes.

"What? How?" Oz tilts his head to the side curiously, like a puppy.

Damien resists the urge to say 'fuck it' and just in for a kiss as the cute display and continues, "I'm gonna prove how awesome I am and how better I am than Brian at the same time by bringing you along to burn shit down tonight."

Oz laughs, "Damien, that's what you and I do everyday."

"Yeah, but this'll be different," Damien scoffs arrogantly.

Oz shakes his head, although he doesn't actually seem exasperated by Damien's actions, "How is it going to be different?"

"That…" Damien pauses for suspense, "...will be a surprise."

"Of course it will," Oz sighs fondly, "Is it going to be a good surprise or a bad surprise?"

"A good one, obviously," Damien rolls his eyes, "Why would I purposefully make it a bad surprise?"

Oz shrugs, "I don't know, because we're both trouble magnets and surprises tend to always tempt fate."

Damien stops to actually think over Oz's words. Yeah, Damien and Oz both have a bad track record with unwanted surprises and Damien is probably just asking for something to go wrong, but his offer is already out in the air and no matter what happens Damien isn't backing away from a challenge when the prize might be Oz.

"Okay fine, I label it as a morally ambiguous surprise just in case something happens," Damien finally shrugs.

Oz pauses before snorting, "A morally ambiguous surprise. Of course, that's great."

"Perfect, I'll pick you up and eight tonight," Damien knows Oz doesn't have anything planned today, so the time should work as long as nothing comes up suddenly. Which it better not, because Damien will literally find the scribes of fate and punch them for being little bitches if that happens.

"O-Okay," Oz suddenly sounds much more nervous, but Damien is too focused on his hypothetical vendetta against fate to notice.

An evil grin splits across Damien's face that sends a shiver of foreboding down Oz's spine, "Great! Well, I've got… things to do then."

"S-See you later then I guess?" Oz tries to phrase it as goodbye, but it comes out as a question.

"Yeah, later," Damien gives one last wave at Oz before turning away and leaving Oz with his thoughts. Which, holy shit, did he have a lot of those.

The moment Damien's out of sight, the phobias Oz was speaking to earlier pop back up, squeaking their congratulations.

"You shouldn't be happy!" Oz scolds, "That was a close one!"

Chronophobia points out the fact that Damien literally couldn't have heard their discussion because they were talking to each other through telepathy exclusively with a sequence of squeaks and squawks.

"I-I know that, but still!" Oz knows he's already lost this argument just because he's letting his nervousness take control of his logical thinking.

Pyrophobia, the little jerk, points out Oz's exact same thoughts with twice the bluntness with a sarcastic wave of their hands and a cheep.

Oz sighs, "I can't help getting nervous and you know it! We were talking about how to ask Damien how he'd like to be asked out because we want to date him! What about that isn't embarrassing to be caught in the act of?!"

Nyctophobia blanches as he comments about the fact Oz should just ask because literally nothing that bad could happen.

"That's not true!" Oz throws his arms in the air before crossing them, "So many things can go wrong! Damien saying no is one of the least concerning ways this could go! He could stop hanging out with me because I made things awkward, or- or- or… Actually, I don't even want to think of anything worse than that."

Some students give Oz weird glances as he tosses his arms around without seemingly any cause, but that's only because he's considered one of the sanest students so him acting strange is a rarity and therefore interesting enough to deserve a glance but nothing more.

Cyclophobia pops up as Nyctopjobia retreats and starts fuming about how Damien would feel if he knew Oz thought so little of him that he would leave after something as stupid as a rejected confession.

"I don't think that Damien would do that, but this is me and what if-"

Ailurphobia pipes up with peep and lectures Oz about how Damien won't treat Oz worse than anybody else if they asked and goes on to say that if anything, Damien will be a lot softer in letting him down if he even wants to reject him in the first place.

"I- I get it," Oz tries to calm down and pushes all his unnecessary thoughts away, "Thanks for talking me through that."

Pemmaphobia cackles before telling Oz that he should thank them with sweets in the future. The other phobias instantly declare their agreement with Pemmaphobia by freaking the fuck out and causing a miniature riot on his head and shoulders.

"Guys…" Oz barely keeps himself from laughing as he watches the chaos play out.

Seeing Oz trying not to laugh, all the phobias decide to up the chaos by fifty. One of them creates a tiny black matter chair out of their own tiny body mass before picking it up and smashing it. The others get even louder, and Oz literally watches as one of the phobias on his head falls to his shoulder.

Finally, Oz loses his and starts laughing, "Come on! Stop it! I'll make you all something later, after we see how tonight goes, alright?"

The phobias answer Oz's question by stopping, nodding, and disappearing in sync. With the entropy of his little friends gone, Oz sighs before looking in the nearest reflective surface to see if the entropy messed up his hair. When Oz's assumption of his hair being a mess is proven correct, he starts to make his way towards the nearest bathroom to fix it.

He only gets a few steps before a soft squeak and tug at the neck of his shirt collar stops him. Oz turns to his right shoulder to notice Philophobia still residing there.

"Shouldn't you be celebrating my embarrassment with the others?" Oz asks curiously.

Philophobia shakes their tiny head shyly before smiling and asking Oz if he planned on asking Damien about the whole getting asked on a date thing tonight. They explain that it would be the perfect opportunity and that they really want things to go well. They also add that Oz should really get his plan rolling before game night just in case Zoe decides to go through with her promise.

Oz listens with growing warmth in his chest and only speaks when Philophobia's completely done talking, "You're right that tonight would be a great time to ask. Thank you for pointing out to me. As for this going well… I sure hope it does too."

Philophobia smiles and makes a little heart of their hands before sinking back through Oz's clothes and into his skin. 

With newfound confidence and happiness, Oz heads to the bathroom to fix his hair. As long as he has his phobias in his corner, he might just have enough confidence and advice to do what he needs to.

…

Damien is excited and nervous at the same time. It's a strange feeling, but one that he doesn't really mind considering what he's planning to do. Asking his best friend on a date is going to be one of the boldest things Damien's ever done in his life so far and he'll stick by his words that go through with it tonight. 

His determination to make things go right are the exact reason Damien's standing on the roof of a skyscraper across from a group therapy center rigged to blow. Well, not blow, but pretty damn close to it. Damien's going for a slow burn instead of a big bang for personal reasons, and by personal reasons, Damien means for the mood.

It took a lot of patience to get everything in place. Damien had to secretly plant explosives throughout the building, secretly lace the whole place with gasoline without drawing attention to himself and people noticing him. It was even worse because the stupid place stays open 24/7. 

Which, come on! Why would anybody build a group therapy center that's open all hours? Is some guy gonna come in at three in the morning hoping that there'll be a bunch of people there to talk to? HELL NO, well maybe, but that's not the point. The point is that this wasn't like that time when Oz and Damiem blew up abandoned buildings and the worst part about setting things up was the time it took. No, this was much harder to do, and therefore, was going to be much more rewarding when Damien and Oz watch the whole thing go up in flames together

Of course, Damien's surprise wasn't just a burning therapy center. That would be predictable and not very personal, especially considering the fact Damien already dragged Oz to go blow up buildings with him before. Although that time they were interrupted, something Damien is sure won't happen again. The building Damien chose to set up on is far away from the loser gang and Spooky High, like, across the country far.

Considering Damien and Oz are the only people with teleporting power, there's no way anyone from the normal menagerie of people is gonna show up and screw everything up for this demon. Well, unless Dorothy decides she misses Oz and drags Zoe along for the ride or something, or the Interdimensional Prince decides to bring someone here for some reason in the middle of a perfect moment, or-

Okay, so maybe Damien's plan wasn't as foolproof as he first thought it was. The demon stops what he's doing and considers if he could somehow convince the Coven to make him a potion for getting rid of teleporter people without stopping Damien from using his own transportation. It really wouldn't be that hard to threaten/annoy it from the three witches into giving him something.

Hell, Damien might even offer them help if he got to punch Dmitri. Yeah, Damien still has a grudge about the whole threesome marriage thing. Damien doesn't hate Dmitri and the Interdimensional prince, but let's just say that if they were on fire and Damien had water, he'd drink the water.

Damien shakes his head. None of that matters right now. What does matter is impressing Oz so he'll agree to at least go on a date with him. He didn't have enough time to find the Covin and get a potion or spell from them anyways. It'll be better if he just focuses on what he can do and pray things go right. It's a far shot from Damien's normal mentality that says chaos is a good thing, but the demon doesn't really care right now when so much is on the line.

Damien glances around the empty roof top and frowns. Damien wishes he could do something  _ more,  _ but anything more extravagant and he'll practically be screaming desperate. Not that Damien isn't desperate, because he is, but there's no need to showcase it. It also means Damien doesn't have to like the fact he's not doing something big for Oz, who definitely deserves it.

Suddenly, Damien's phone buzzes and distracts him from his thoughts. With a loid string of curses, Damien pulls it out of his pocket to see he's got a bunch of texts from the group chat. One glance tells Damien everything he needs to know. His friends found out Damien asked Oz to hang out.

Under any other circumstances, that would be fine. Damien and Oz hang out all the time. However, not three days earlier, Damien had a conversation with his friends asking (Damien refuses to say he begged no matter how much Polly pesters him) them how to ask Oz to date him. Now, Damien not only has to deal with regular teasing on an hourly basis, but he also has to deal with them being nosy about what he's doing.

Against his better judgment, Damien opens up his messages to tell them to shut up instead of just muting his phone. Damien realizes his mistake the moment he starts reading his missed texts.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻** : so… 😏

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** guess who i found out is about to hang out with oz right now

**Medusa:** Damien

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** HOW DID YOU KNOW?! Did you steal Damien's phone and check his calendar too? 🤔🤔😧

**🦇BatBoy🦇** : I'm pretty sure Vera knew who was hanging out with Oz from context clues of the past few days alone. As for them hanging out together today, while I didn't know they were doing it, I find it much more concerning that you just admitted to looking at Damien's phone without his permission in a chat that Damien is a part of.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** pshaw, it's fine. if he didn't want me snooping around he should have a better password than 666-69 

**Calculator:** Ah, I see that friend Damien chose to use the numbers 666 in relations to his demon heritage and the paranoia around the three numbers together. Then he used 69 at the end just to make his password stronger. That is very smart, and makes me wonder how Polly was able to guess such a complicated pin.

**Medusa:** I'm stuck between wanting to commend you on your innocence and breaking it.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** I'll decide for you. Cal, 69 is a joke about sex positions 

**Calculator:** …

**Calculator:** I see. Knowing friend Damien, this is a very predictable password knowing him and therefore would be very easy to guess

**Goodboi** : wait, if 69 is a sex number. Does that mean other numbers are sexy? Is math just porn?!

**🦇BatBoy🦇:** Look what you've done Polly. You should be ashamed of yourself. Scott does NOT need another reason to skip math class.

**Medusa:** Just be thankful we're talking over the phone and not in real life. This way when Polly starts teasing Damien about how he begged her for help about his crush and keeps asking how his date went we can mute her. 

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** WAIT! What are you guys talking about??!?!?!?! Did Damien for real ask Polly for help?! Is he actually about to go on a date with Oz?!??!? Why didn't I know this!?

**HerMajesty:** Why is Zoe in the chat we are using to discuss private matters about Damien with?

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** oops

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** My questions have not been answered!!!!! 😡😡😡😡😡

**Medusa:** At least Polly didn't put us in a chat with Brian, Amira, and Vicky. They probably would already be telling Oz about this instead of asking questions.

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** I will tell Oz what you're talking about if you don't answer my questions pronto! 😠😡😠😡

This is where Damien finally catches up to what's going on and enters the conversation.

**🔥Damien🔥:** If you even fucking dare tell Oz about anything you just read I will burn every goddamn piece of art you own and then personally convince Oz to take away your V.I.P passes to Monstercon.

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** YOU WOULDN'T DARE.

**🔥Damien🔥:** Try me bitch.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Damien! How's your date going? Wait, is your date even going yet? Your calendar said you were supposed to pick Oz up at eight and it's still like seven forty.

**🔥Damien🔥:** Do you think I'd be texting you asshats if Oz was with me?

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** Oh my GOD! You are going on a date with Oz aren't you! Shdgfggbbsgff! Why didn't you tell me?! I totally would have helped you!

**🔥Damien🔥:** After that shit you pulled with Dmitri and the Prince you think I'd ask for your help?

**GoodBoi:** What happened between the Prince and Dmitri?

**🦇BatBoy🦇:** You mean other than the fact they're married to each other and still trying to seduce others? Nothing much.

**HerMajesty:** They're having an affair?! How scandalous!

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** No, no, no. Neither of them is cheating on the other. I had to sit with them for six hours so we could talk about this. They entered a non-monogamous polomany relationship, and before any of you asks what that means, it just lets them have sex with whoever they want whenever without worrying about the other's feelings. 

**Medusa:** Well, that certainly sounds fitting knowing those two and how they act.

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** Yeah it's working really well for them so far. They've been keeping in touch with me just to tell me how things are going, but THAT'S NOT WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT! What we  _ are  _ talking about is why Damien didn't ask for helpful advice from the love expert known as ME!

**🔥Damien🔥:** Because you used Oz is a fucked up convoluted plan to get those two harassing fuckers together despite knowing Oz would be uncomfortable! 

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** Oh. Oz told you that didn't he?

**🔥Damien🔥:** Yes, yes he fucking did.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Ngl that's messed up Zo

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** YOU HELPED!

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** I did?

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Oh shit, yeah, I totally did help you with that. Forgot

**🔥Damien🔥:** You're dead to me Polly.

**Medusa:** She's dead to everyone Damien. 

**GoodBoi:** Yeh! That's how ghosts work!

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** Damien you gotta understand that I lied to Oz though! I wasn't planning on those two getting together at all! I thought you'd get jealous and ask Oz out to get rid of them!

**🔥Damien🔥:** 1\. How is that any better

  1. That was a terrible plan 
  2. Why the hell would you ever think that would work?
  3. If you want to actually know what the fuck is going on you should ask everone else.
  4. I'm muting all of you so I can attempt to ask Oz out.
  5. Screw you all
  6. good-fucking-bye



Damien stays true to his word and presses a couple of buttons. In a matter of seconds, all the vibrations and alerts for the group chat go silent as Damien stuffs his phone in his pocket. 

How dare Zoe do all that stupid shit in Damien's name? The fucking nerve! Damien refuses to admit how close Zoe's plan came to working as he fumes. Well, until Zoe makes it up to Damien, she's on his shit list along with Dmitri, the Interdimensional Prince, and Avery. Fuck all of them. Fuck them and their stupid ugly mugs! Fuck-

Buzz! Ding!

"I thought I muted those bastards!" Damien yanks his phone out of his pocket with frustration before instantly calming down when he sees who the alert is from.

Yeah, maybe Damien was lying earlier about muting his entire phone. He only muted his friends and their annoying group chat. He did not however, mute the more important contacts on his phone like his dads and… Oz. Yeesh, how did Damien not realize he had a crush sooner. Hindsight really is 20/20.

Damien pulls up his messages again with a sense of deja vu before his heart sinks and panic sets in.

**FUCKINGNOOB:** You did say you were coming to pick me up at 8 right?

Damien checks his clock phone to see that it's ten past eight. Damn it, Damien instantly puts all of his other friends on his shit list for distracting him earlier along with also resolving to change Oz's nickname because goddammit, a noob is not the right thing to be calling somebody he wants to date.

The secondary thoughts to those ideas are what really kick Damien into gear. He's late. He's late for picking Oz up and Damie is already screwing stuff up. He's screwing stuff up and SHIT. Damien snaps out of his thoughts to open a portal into Oz's living room.

"Sorry I'm late. My friends were being dicks and distracted me by-" Damien freezes as he looks around the living room, spots Oz, and eloquently says, "Huh."

Oz is standing in the hallway leading deeper into his house looking at Damien with something akin to relief, but Damien pays that no mind. What he is paying attention to is the fact that instead of his normal cardigan and undershirt, Oz is wearing a giant yellow hoodie that looks two sides too big. It looks ridiculous and it's a yellow so bright it hurts Damien's eyes, so in conclusion, Oz looks absolutely adorable and Damien has to look away to keep his blush out of sight. It gets even worse when Damien imagines what Oz would look like if he was wearing one of his hoodies that were also oversized.

Oz, oblivious to Damien's reaction, waves, "Hey Dames. I'm assuming you were going to finish that sentence by telling me how Vera, Liam, Polly, and everyone else pissed you off again?"

Damien looks at Oz only to glance away again as he blushes, "Y-Yep, that's what I was gonna say. Those assholes… uh… totally pissed me off and stuff…"

Oz doesn't respond right off the bat so Damien has no choice but to risk a glance at him to gauge his reaction. Damien definitely didn't also look again because he wanted to, nope, never, not this demon.

Oz's head is tilted to the side and his eyebrows are furrowed in confusion as he stares at the demon in his house, "What's wrong?"

Damien coughs, "N-Nothing. Nothing at all."

"W-Was I wrong about the time or something?" Oz's hand is already rubbing against the back in a sign of apology, "I really didn't-"

The moment Oz stutters, Damien knows that his anxiety is about to rocket as he lists all the different ways he could have messed up. This knowledge is exactly what allows Damien to push through the awkwardness of how good Oz looks to get it together and try to speak like a normal person.

"What are you wearing?" Emphasis on  _ try  _ because Damien has little to no tact when it comes to expressing his thoughts.

Oz looks surprised by Damien's sudden question and his anxiousness goes right back to confusion, "Umm… my hoodie?"

"I know that!" Damien rolls his eyes and huffs, "It's just that you usually always wear the cardigan and stuff, y'know because you don't have to wash clothes because you don't sweat or eat and all that good jazz."

"Oh," Oz's eyes suddenly light up in understanding, "I have to wash my usual outfit because Dorothy, the little menace that she is, decided that it was a good idea to inhale an entire grocery store's worth of different juices and then spit them all back out in my kitchen while I was in it."

Damien can't help smiling at the thought of Dorothy doing that. This only makes Oz sigh in annoyance.

"Don't look so happy about it," Oz huffs, "I swear you're a bad influence on that cat."

"Correction, Dorothy is a badass alien," Damien says cheekily, "Not, a cat."

Damien crosses his arms, "She looks like a cat, so I reserve the right to call her one when she does something wrong."

As if called, Dorothy appears out of nowhere behind Oz and pads over to Damien to meow for attention and purposefully glare at Oz.

"She seems to disagree with you there," Damien smirks smugly.

"Of course she disagrees with me," Oz shakes his head, "Whenever it comes between me and you, you're the favourite. Although I think she favors Zoe over the both of us for some reason."

Ignoring the part about Zoe, Damien laughs, "Of course she likes me more, I'm the fun one. You tell her not to do stuff and make her follow rules."

"Not covering my entire kitchen with orange juice shouldn't be something I have to tell her  _ not  _ to do. It should be implied," Oz glares down at Dorothy.

In response to Oz's nagging, Dorothy struts away with an annoyed hiss and a violent wag of her tail. The flerken only walks three feet away before just teleporting to the couch and curling up on a throw pillow.

With Dorothy out of the way, Damien returns his attention to his earlier questioning, "So… if your usual stuff got covered in soda or whatever, where'd you get the hoodie?"

Oz sighs as if he doesn't want to tell the story, but knows he'll have to do it anyways, "When Zoe popped out of her totem and took a physical form, she didn't have any clothes so she dragged me to the nearest shopping center to go on a shopping spree. She might have also made me buy an entire new set of clothes just because. She made me buy this hoodie in particular because she thought it matched hers despite mine not having an anime character on it."

"Huh, that so?" Damien's decided Zoe's earned her way off his shit list.

"Yep. Why are you asking? Do I look horrible or something?" Oz sounds joking, but there's an underlying bit of insecurity that Damien catches in the question.

It takes a surprising amount of strength to not say something about Oz looking amazing, cute, or handsome, but Damien manages, "You definitely look better than I do most of the time."

"That is the biggest lie I've ever heard," Oz laughs, but there's a bit of relief hidden behind the humor.

"Me? Lying? Never," Damien says sarcastically before being serious, "Honestly though, I'm not lying."

Oz shakes his head, "No. There is no way I'd ever look better than you. I mean, half the student body tried to make a new category in the yearbook dedicated to the sexiest monster of the year, just because they wanted to vote you into it."

Damien pauses, "When the fuck did  _ that _ happen?"

Oz laughs nervously, "I'm pretty sure somewhere in between that time you burned your tank top off in the gymnasium and caused twenty girls to nose bleed and that time you came to school in drag and made like twenty guys nose bleed."

"Huh, who woulda guessed that would happen?" Damien shrugs, "I still think you look better than me. You have a lot less blood, soot, and other incriminating stuff on you all the time."

"I only stay cleaner than you because I actually care about staying clean, not that it helped me much this time," Oz murmurs under his breath.

"Well, since I didn't hear any protests about my opinion this time, I'm assuming you finally agree with me and we can get the fuck out of here," Damien's portal from earlier is long gone so he has to pull up another one while Oz continues to disagree with Damien's conpliment about him looking better than the demon. Sadly, there's nothing short of magic that could make Damien change his stance on the subject, so all Oz's arguments fall on deaf ears.

A few seconds pass, and Damien succeeds at summoning a new portal to the first destination on his agenda. Oz finally stops trying to argue his point once the rift in space is open and sighs as he turns to Damien.

"Were you even listening to what I was saying?" Oz sounds more exasperated than annoyed.

"Sorry, no, I don't speak fluent stupid," Damien snarks just to because he knows he can.

"If you're still trying to prove you're better than Brian, you're not doing yourself any favors," Oz crosses his arms, but gives away his real feelings with a chuckle.

"Whatever, you'll be singing a different tune once I'm done with you," Damien, never one to back down from a challenge even if it's self appointed, sends Oz his best smirk before turning and gesturing towards the newly formed portal with one hand.

Because the Demon turned away, he doesn't get to see Oz blush and practically try to sink into his own oversized hoodie. From the nearby couch, Dorothy lazily lifts her head up to look at Oz before shaking it and going back to sleeping. It's amazing how everyone can see the sexual tension between the two except for the both of the monsters themselves.

As Oz recovers from Damien's award winning smirk he asks, "W-Where are we even going?"

"That… is a secret," Damien playfully winks over his shoulder before stepping through his portal and waiting for Oz to follow.

Most people would think twice before following a tempermental demon through a portal to who knows where, but Oz is not one of them. With little to no hesitation, Oz steps through the portal to follow Damien. The moment Oz is on the other side, the red hole in space time closes behind him.

Oz is surprised to say the least. He expected Damien to bring to a nuclear power plant or something else very explosive. He did not, however, expect to be dragged out into the middle of a forest. Not saying there's anything wrong with forests, Oz has spent his fair share of time in the middle of nowhere with his previous… uh… lifestyle choices and he's rather fond of the peace in forests, but that doesn't make Damien's choice of location any less confusing. Well, confusing until Oz remembers that the trees and plants in said forests are highly flammable and flammable is Damien's specialty. 

"You just gonna stand there all fucking day or are you gonna walk with me?" Damien raises an eyebrow at Oz.

"Walk?" Oz tilts his head curiously in surprise, "Is that what we're doing?"

"No, I'm going to set this whole forest on fire," Damien deadpans sarcastically, "I don't have the need to destroy  _ everything _ I touch."

"...But you usually do anyway," Oz doesn't mind Damien's sudden pacifistic behavior, but that doesn't mean he's going to ignore the sudden change in demeanors.

Damien scans Oz up and down as if he's looking for something before he looks away and grumbles something under his breath. Despite his amazing hearing, Oz barely hears it.

"I thought you said you liked walking," All at once, Oz's heart liquifies as he resists the growing urge to smile a toothy grin at the words.

"Damien, did you drag me out here in the middle of nowhere just because I said I like walking?" Oz would be lying if he said he wasn't flattered by Damien's thoughtfulness.

"No!" Damien turns pink, "Maybe… What if I did?"

"I'd be very happy you listened to what I was saying at the time," Damien visibly relaxes as Oz continues, "Then I'd tell you that you didn't have to do this and we could've just walked in the city."

"The city?" Damien's nose scrunches up in annoyance, "The city's fine and all, but we always get into trouble and other crap there, and you said you went on walks because they were calm. That's the actual opposite of calm."

Oz is physically holding back another smile as he thinks about how perfect Damien is, "I don't spend time with you because I want things to be peaceful Dames, I hang out with you because you're my friend."

"That doesn't mean we can't do stuff you like sometimes," Damien grumbles in a way that tells Oz he's gonna be stubborn on this topic.

"Fine then," Oz shakes his head and starts walking in a random direction, "You dragged me into the woods for no reason other than to walk, and we aren't even walking yet. Let's fix that."

Damien looks up at Oz and scoffs before following him, "When did you get so bossy?"

"What can I say? You're a bad influence," Oz snarks playfully.

"If you mean bad as in short for badass, then yes. I am the absolute badassest influence out there," Damien growls triumphantly.

"I didn't," Oz and Damien pass a couple of tree stumps and toadstools.

"Then fuck you," Damien snorts, "I'm the best influence."

"I'm pretty sure that out of the two of us, most would consider me the good influence," Oz points out, "Which if you think about it is weird because I've killed more people than you."

"Ugh, don't rub it in you jackass! I'll catch up to you're stupidly high kill count some day," Damien growls, "I have all of eternity afterall, we both can't really die."

"I honestly don't doubt you'll catch up for a single second, but that's what worries me," Oz shakes his head with a sigh, "I don't think the world will ever be ready for you. Just remember the bit about you having eternity to catch up alright? I don't plan on committing any mass genocides in the next few eons, so you have time."

"Okay, but you saying that only makes me want to fucking kill people faster," Damien and Oz hop over a rotten log together, "Plus, when you said that shit about no planned genocide for a couple eons, makes it sound like you still have them planned, and I'm just saying. If you do, I wouldn't mind hearing about them."

"Damien, I was joking," Oz blanches, "I'm not committing genocide. The only people I kill nowadays are with you."

"Good," Damien nods, "Because I'd be offended if you'd have been murdering people with someone else behind my back."

Damien and Oz both lapse into a steady conversation as they walk through the woods together chatting in the dark. With Damien lighting things on fire to brighten things up and Oz having night vision, it's actually quite nice. The scenery is pretty too, including the fire, and Oz wonders if Damien came here himself before he invited Oz just for that reason. Any forest creatures that happen upon the pair run away just as quickly.

At some point the both of them come across a grizzly bear. Damien wanted to try and fight the giant animal, but before the demon could, the bear made eye contact with Oz and ran. Damien mopes about it for the next five minutes, but he gets over it soon enough.

"I still don't understand why animals hate your guts so much," Damien huffs as a scurry of squirrels run away from them.

"I don't know, it's just always been like this. I think it has to do with their instincts or something," Oz shrugs, "They see me, they run. Simple as that."

As much as Damien is trying to make Oz comfortable, it's easy to tell that the peace and quiet is starting to make him twitchy. Noticing this, Oz decides to try and wrap things up and maybe, sorta, kinda transition into asking Damien about how to ask somebody on a date.

"So uh-" 

"Okay, I get the point of this whole relaxing and walking stuff now and I'm kinda fucking over it," Damien doesn't even realize he cuts Oz off because of how wound up he is, "I know this was technically my stupid idea, but can we do something else?"

It's strange how peace sets Damien on edge more than flames and violence, but the quiet is just so… unnatural. Pile all that on top of the fact Damien's a flaming pile of nerves right now and you get a crisis in the making. Luckily, Damien does have enough self awareness to realize this and decides to properly move to phase two of his three step plan.

"Y-Yeah, s-sure!" Oz is a little thrown off when his plan gets thwarted, but he manages to recover enough to not seem suspicious, "What do you want to do?"

Damien shrugs like he doesn't already know exactly what he wants to do with Oz, "I don't know."

Oz looks thoughtful as he starts down at the ground trying to think of something, "Well, you're always in the mood for destroying things, why don't we just do something like that?"

Damien ignores his urge to call out Oz on how sweet he looks when he's thinking in favor of shaking his head, "No way. I said I was going to prove I'm better than that loser gang of yours. That proves nothing other than the fact I'm amazing at getting rid of the things I don't like. Maybe later though."

"I thought this was just about Brian?"

"It was in the beginning, now it's just a point in pride. I have to prove I'm your best friend," Damien huffs.

Oz shakes his head, "I can have more than one best friend can't I?"

Damien wants to say no, but goes for a more diplomatic approach, a first for him, "Yeah, I guess, but I still was to be the favorite best friend."

"Okay then," Oz laughs, "If that's what you want."

Damien bristles, "I know you think I'm joking, but I am seriously going to prove to you why I should be considered the  _ best _ best friend material."

"Dames," Oz says softly, "You don't have to  _ do _ anything to prove you're my  _ best  _ best friend, seriously."

"All I heard from that statement was you're issuing me a challenge," Damien growls.

"I am not challenging you," Oz grips Damien's arm before sighing, "Please don't take what I said as a challenge."

Damien stares down at where Oz is holding his arm with barely concealed wonder before making eye contact with Oz and his annoyingly bright eyes. Oz seems to realize what he's doing momentarily and quickly lets go, but it's too late. Damien's done. All bets are off now.

Screw this. Screw step two. Damien's skipping the second phase of his plan and skipping go to the main event, so he can get this over with faster. If he has to deal with Oz's shy exasperation any long he is literally going to give up and pin him against the nearest tree. 

Phase two was just to drag Oz to the nearest movie theater, and it was a stupid idea anyways. The only reason Damien thought it up was because of all the movies people go on dates there. Honest to god though, Damien's really doing both him and Oz a favor in the long run. After all, Damien gets Oz kicked out of every establishment they've ever been to together and the movie theater is guaranteed to not be any different.

"Y'know what, fuck this, we are going go blow shit up!" Damien grins maniacally, "Are you ready for my surprise Ozzie?!"

Oz looks confused, "This… wasn't it?"

"This?" Damien scoffs as he pulls out his phone, "No way. This was just the beginning. The real real show is… fuck."

Damien repeatedly tries to summon a portal, but nothing happens. It's only after seven unsuccessful tries with increasingly frustrated sounds, that Damien realizes why things aren't working.

"Oh come on! I'm trying to summon a magic portal! Why do I need reception for that!" Damien throws his hands up in the air with a growl, "This is the most goddamn annoying bullshit I've ever heard!"

In retrospect, Damien should have considered the fact that he might need a signal to use portals on his phone considering they're provided by the same company his cell service is from, but he didn't and now Oz and him are stuck in the middle of the woods. How did Damien  _ not _ know he had to have reception? Actually, when Damien thinks about it, it's probably because he's never teleported somewhere without free wifi in at least a three mile radius. Even one cult he stole from in the middle of the woods had their own hotspot set up for Damien to use! So yeah, if this isn't Damien's fault that he's ruining his chances with Oz it's either fate or natures fault. 

Damien is deciding between which one would be harder to kill when Oz speaks up, "You're portal thing doesn't work without the internet? Wow, that sucks..."

Damien's heart sinks at Oz's words. The demon's really has screwed himself this time hasn't he? Trudging through the words for civilization does not set the mood for asking someone out. Another bout of ugly emotions rage in Damien's head and he's stuck between lighting something on fire and looking for that bear they crossed a few minutes back so he can gut it. Funnily enough, all these thoughts pass through Damien's mind in the matter of seconds and they only last a little while because Oz wasn't finished talking.

"D-Do you need me to bring us wherever you were thinking of?" Oz is too used to Damien's sometimes temperamental rage that the increasingly threatening aura around the demon only causes him to stutter. Actually, the stutter was more about Oz overstepping than him being intimidated. He knows Damien doesn't like asking for help so he offers it.

Damien freezes. That's right, Oz can travel through shadows even faster than Damien can open portals, and he doesn't rely on wifi to do it. 

Once the realization sets in, Damien facepalms, "Of course, you can shadow hop. God, I'm such a fucking idiot. Why didn't I think of that. To think I was literally about to pollute the entire ocean to get back at mother nature for literally nothing. Gah!"

Oz overlooks the fact that Damien was about to destroy the entire ocean's ecosystem and most of the world's water supply by being his usual supportive self, "Dames, it's fine. Everyone forgets I can travel through shadows. Remember that time I came to bring Vicky the cooler she forgot to football practice and Scott thought I was a serial killer?"

The memory stifles Damien's self directed frustration as he huffs in amusement, "Scott should have known better. You're not serial killer material. Plus, even if you were, what kind of murderer wears a yellow cardigan and carries around rice crispy treats."

"Hey, those were for Vicky! I helped her make them because she wanted to give everyone snacks after practice!" Oz pouts.

"Point taken," Damien dramatically puts his hands up in surrender, "They were Sparky's treats, not yours."

Oz's fake annoyance melts away to reveal slight nervousness. Damien fights the urge to put his arm over Oz's shoulder again just to try and make the smaller monster's pensiveness disappear.

"So, you didn't answer my question," Oz puts both his hands in his large hoodie pocket and rolls back on the heels of his feet, "Did you… um… need me to bring us somewhere."

Damien fights off the sheer adoration trying to break his brain at Oz's anxious display to respond semi-coherently, "YES! I mean, sure. Yeah, sure. That'd be fucking great."

Oz sighs, the tension leaving his shoulders as he talks, "Great, well, where do you need me to bring us then?"

Damien brings his phone to his face and starts looking for the coordinates of the building he set up, praying he saved it or at least the address. Well, thank past Damien, because the demon somehow had the insight to save the location of the biggest part of his plans. 

With little left in the patience department, Damien hastily hands Oz his phone, "Here. Here's where we need to go."

Oz looks at ths phone for a few seconds and his eyebrows scrunch together as he tries to memorize it. Suddenly, it hits Damien how impressive it is that Oz can travel anywhere in the world as long as he knows where it is. Damien chalks up Oz's amazing internal map with the fact he's been alive longer than pretty much everything else.

"Hmm, I think I got it," Oz hands Damien his phone back with a nod.

Damien knows Oz isn't actually concerned about his ability to get them there, it's one of the few things Oz is never worried about, but he still decides to be reassuring for formality's sake, "Eh, whatever. Even if you bring us to the wrong place at least there'll probably be reception. Seriously, fuck this forest and it's bullshit internet connection. I'll come back here later and burn the whole place to ashes."

Oz nods in understanding, completely desensitized to Damien's brand of violence, before grabbing the demon's hand and tugging him. Knowing this whole song and dance, Damien let's Oz's eldritch strength send him careening forward. It takes less than a second and Damien's standing on the roof he was on just a couple hours ago, overlooking a giant city and a therapy center rigged to go up in flames. Oz appears beside Damien not a moment after Damien confirms they're in the right place.

The sight of the incarnation of fear and the knowledge of what he's about to try hit a nerve and Damien suddenly starts to get cold feet. Maybe this is a bad idea. What if Damien just drops out now and just acts normal instead of trying to score a date. 

In a last ditch attempt to shove his misgivings into the back of his mind, Damien starts talking, "I see you've got the whole letting people land on their feet no matter what thing down pat now. It's been like five months since the last time you dropped someone on their ass."

Oz pauses before, "I could always keep people from falling."

Damien prompt stops acting and to actually get invested, "Wait, if you could always do that then why..."

Oz rubs the back of his neck awkwardly when Damien trails off, "Well, um… at first I did it to keep Amira and Vicky from asking me to just send them between classes all the time, and then it kinda became a joke for me to do it and I didn't stop."

"So all those times you've dropped the loser gang in a pile of limbs it was just because?!" Damien can't decide between being shocked or highly amused.

"Maybe…" Oz looks away bashfully as he rubs his elbow.

Amusement wins out and Damien bursts into laughter as he doubles over and places his hands on his knees, "Holy shit! You've been duping those dipshits forever! That's the fucking best! You should have told me sooner! They didn't even know?!"

"Well, Brian might have been a little suspicious, but I think he found it just as funny as you so he keeps his mouth shut," Oz isn't laughing, but he looks happy that Damien's entertained.

Damien stands up straight at the mention of Oz's zombie friend and smirks, "Speaking of big green, I've still got to prove I should be your favourite friend right?"

Oz shakes his head, "You really don't."

"Wrong answer," Damien grabs Oz's wrist and drags him over to the edge of the roof that's closest to the therapy center, "Come on, shit's about to go down."

Not waiting for Oz, Damien swings his feet over the side of the building and sits on the ledge before reaching into his jacket, searching for the detonator. Oz doesn't keep Damien waiting, and sits down beside him in a similar manner despite looking a bit reluctant to do so.

"What are we doing?" Oz doesn't sound nervous per say, but he does sound rather concerned.

"Aha!" Damien finds the detonator and pulls it out of his leather jacket. It's just a medium sized yellow lever. The only thing keeping someone from setting it off is a thin plastic case over the trigger, "We're gonna burn that place across the street from us. It's gonna go up in flames."

Oz looks unimpressed, but fond, "I thought you said we  _ weren't  _ going to destroy stuff?"

"Huh? Oh," Damien replays the night in his head and pinpoints where he said that before responding truthfully with a shrug, "Plans change."

Oz looks amused, "Yeah, okay. Whatever you say."

"You know what Ozzie, just stop questioning me and check out your surprise," Damien thrusts the exposive's detonator into Oz's hands. If anybody who actually cared about safety was around, that single feat would send them into cardiac arrest.

"You want  _ me  _ to do it?" Oz looks surprised and a little reluctant.

"Hell yeah!" Damien shouts before slowly adding, "I promise you won't be disappointed."

Damien thinks Oz blushes, but he looks away too fast for the demon to figure out if it was just wistful thinking or not. Oz slowly flips off the plastic protective casing before giving Damien another glance.

"Do you just want me to… do it right now?" Oz asks for reconfirmation.

Damien just excitedly nods as a grin splits across his face. Oz sighs for what must be the hundredth time tonight before flicking the switch and teasing. Both the monsters swiftly turn their attention to building across from them. They both wait in silence. A few moments pass. Nothing happens.

"Hey uh, do you think that your-"

**BOOOM!**

Oz's question is cut off by the explosions ringing out across the street and the flames that immediately burst from every single window in the building at the same time. The rebound from the explosion of that size would send most people flying backwards, but Oz and Damien's unnatural strength keeps them firmly placed.

"Wow," Oz looks at the glowing orange building before laughing, "I think you're just short of the amount it would have taken for the building to collapse."

Damien's grin grows a noticeable amount, "The point of the building wasn't for it to explode."

Oz suddenly looks puzzled, "Then why would you-"

Oz abruptly stops and his eyes go wide. Damien knows Ozzie's figured out what's happening when his attention snaps to the building across from them with a mixture of surprise and something else distinctly primal. 

"What did you do?!" Oz's voice is desperate, demanding, confused, raspy, and wistful all at the same time. His gaze is an even more intense combination of the same emotions.

The look would make any lesser being run away, but Damien just finds it extremely hot as he smirks, "That was a group therapy center, but more specifically, one for retired and traumatized in bombings. I remembered that time I blew up that hotel and dragged you into helping me run from the cops. Then, after you told me how you practically used me as your meal ticket, I figured the reason we met up that time was because I cheated you out of dinner. I figured I'd apologize by getting you something else to eat."

Oz's eyes are growing wider as screams and sirens ring out in the silent city night, "You… That… fucking hell…"

Damien can't help feeling smug, "What are you waiting for? Do that badass shit where you eat people's terror. I'm sure some of those people are going out of their minds freaking out."

Oz looks at Damien for a moment more with something that could only be described as pure wonder before looking back at the building that's slowly starting to fall. He glances back at Damien again with some sort of conflict. 

"That building is not gonna stay up all night," Damien rolls his eyes despite his amusement at Oz for practically asking permission.

Not needing anymore prompting, Oz turns back to the building and flicks his hand, letting out at least a dozen of his phobias. The tiny black inklings rush towards the flaming building, growing in size the whole time until they're the size of bicycles. It's not as big as they were when fighting Zoe, but still big enough for Damien to understand why people should be scared of Oz.

Speaking of Oz, Damien turns to him to say something snarky and flirty, sure he's feeling rather confident right now, only to pause and stare. Oz's lower jaw is unhinged and his face is split in half by a jagged and toothy smile. Damn, Damien remembers what Oz's mouth looked like, but seeing him like this, completely enthralled by the people in the building with the hunger of a predator and eyes dark, is something entirely different. Damien is suddenly very glad Oz isn't looking in his direction because that would be embarrassing for multiple reasons.

It's easy to say that Damien is considering this experience just as much of a surprise for Oz as it is a surprise for him. This statement is only confirmed true by the fact a cloud of back smoke seems to rise above the flames and other air pollutants before making its way towards Oz. The dark cloud simply stalls in front of Oz before the incarnation of fear inhales it all in one go. Oz shuddars and lets out a sigh that sounds more like a car wreck and a kitten's purr mixed together. Yeah, Damien is screwed, completely and utterly screwed.

Oz's phobias return from the flames like loyal hellhounds. They excitedly chatter for a few seconds before shrinking and landing on Oz's shoulder. They don't disappear just yet, but they do quiet down.

There's few moments of silence, well as silent as it can be when two monsters are in the middle of the city across from a burning building and police sirens. Suddenly, Oz turns to Damien looking much more like himself. Well, except the mouth.

" **YO** _u_ a _R_ **e** **A** _n_ aBSolutely _t_ ** _E_** **R** ri _b_ **l** E iNFluenCE," Even with the distortion of his voice and the static surrounding it, Damien somehow knows he's exasperated, " **i** s _H_ Oul _d_ ** _n'_** t h **A** _vE_ do **n** ** _E_** _t_ ** _h_** **A** t."

Damien somehow keeps his composure and laughs, "I guess I am, but you don't seem to be upset about it. Does that mean I'm your favorite now?"

Oz laughs and it's a horrible wonderful sound,  " **D** O _ n _ ' t T **e** _ l _ l BR _ i _ **_a_ ** **_n, V_ ** _ i _ cK _ y _ , O **R A** _ m _ _ i _ **_r_ ** _ A,  _ bU **T** i TH i _ n _ k sO."

"Take that loser gang! I am the best fucking friend around!" Damien throws both his hands in the air with a victorious shout.

Oz smiles a twisted toothy smile before his mouth sews itself shut, leaving him looking like he normally would, "I can't believe you set a therapy center on fire just to prove a point. How did you even get this all done so quickly?"

"There's not anything I can't do Oz. I'm amazing," Damien doesn't tell Oz that he's been planning this for days.

"Yeah," Oz says genuinely, "You really are."

The sincerity in the smaller monster takes Damien off guard and causes him to blush. Oz seems to realize what he said at that exact moment and his face turns pink as well. Both of them look away from each other in embarrassment.

They're silent for a long time as they consider their options. Both monsters know what they want to ask, but neither knows how to. It takes a long while, but enough courage to speak up. It's too bad they both had different questions.

"Damien, what-"

"Oz, do you-

Damien and Oz both stop short when they interrupt the other. They both stare at each other for a moment, confidence waning, before Damien breaks the tension with a cough.

"You go first," Damien nods.

Oz almost looks like he wants to argue, but doesn't, "I- well, I have something to ask you…"

Oz practically sinks into his hoodie and his hands start twitching with nervous energy. Damien doesn't know why, but he's got a bad feeling about this.

"I-It's just…" Oz pauses before trying again, "W-What would you do if you liked somebody, b-but you don't know how to tell them? W-What would make you say yes if someone asked you out?"

If ever someone could pinpoint heartbreak, it would be that very moment for Damien LaVey. That exact second is when everything came shattering down around him as he looked at Oz and his nervous blush. Oz doesn't look up to see Damien's expression, so he'll never see how quickly face fell and how defeat filled his eyes faster than what should be humanly possible.

Unaware, Oz continues, "I-I just- I really trust you Damien, and I-I d-don't know what to do… What should I do?"

Damien makes a split second decision. He decides that no matter who has Oz's attention or how Damien feels, he can't make a scene and let Oz know how he feels, not anymore. Damien puts on a smile and answers as well as he can.

"You have a crush?" Damien forces himself to act casual as he raises an eyebrow. Damien hopes his voice doesn't come out as strangled as it feels.

"Yeah…" Oz sounds so small. Damien hates it, so he pretends.

"Damn, they're one lucky bastard for getting you to like them," Damien hopes his laugh doesn't sound forced because he doesn't need Oz to know how much he's hurting right now, "I'm assuming that you aren't going to tell me who they are?"

If Oz could pale, he would be doing it right now if the horrified look he gives Damien is anything to go by. The expression only lasts a second, but it's enough to wreck Damien's already fragile heart even more. Still, Damien keeps up his charade.

"Yeah, that's answer enough for me," Damien tries for a smile although it feels more like a grimace, "What were your questions again?"

"W-Well, I was just wondering what you would do if you liked somebody, b-but didn't know don't know how to tell them and would make you say yes to someone i-if the positions were swapped…"

Damien takes a deep breath and forces his brain to picture the scenario Oz just asked. It's painful because Oz is the only one Damien can picture himself asking on a date, and he's already messed that up.

"Well, I guess if I really wanted to take somebody on a date my first tactic would be to seduce the fuck out of them," Damien jokes but it falls flat when Oz looks panicked, "I'm kidding Oz."

"O-Oh," Oz sighs in relief and Damien scolds himself for joking when Oz is being so serious. This is probably why Oz doesn't like him that way in the first place.

"If I wanted to get somebody to date me, I'd just do something personal for them," It didn't work for Damien, but Oz is perfect. Whatever he does will end up fine, Damien is just giving the dork a plan of action, "Y'know something personal but not too personal."

Oz looks like Damien's offering him the holy grail and not stupid teenage love advice, "Okay."

"As for the second question..." Damien starts.

The second question hurts Damien so much more than the first because he can't imagine anyone asking him on a date other than Oz in his mind. It's terrible, but with Oz so out of his grasp, his brain is already trying to do damage control. In response to his mind betraying him, Damien tries to take advantage of his pain and longing and use it in his favor. How would Oz ask him out?

"Well, I guess I'd say yes as long as I knew they were being sincere. I might be an asshole sometimes-" Another reason why Oz probably doesn't like him, "-but I'd have a hard time saying no to them if I knew they were actually going to be heartbroken if I said no. Just, be yourself Ozzie. Whoever you have your eyes on is gonna say yes no matter what."

Oz looks nervous, "Y-You really think so?"

"Pft, of course," Damien would say yes. He'd say yes a million times over.

"Thank you," Oz smiles and only now does Damien realize his phobias disappeared somewhere in the middle of their conversation.

Suddenly, Damien wants to be anywhere but on this rooftop with Oz. He just doesn't want to look at Oz right now and know he's been rejected, that everything Damien's worked hard for in the last few months was for nothing. Nothing at all.

The universe answers his prayer in the form of a text message on his phone. As if it's his only lifeline, Damien yanks the device out of his pocket and sees it's message from his parents. Not even checking to see what it said since he already knows it's about they're trip to the 6th circle, Damien stands up regretfully and smiles at Oz.

"Sorry to leave you like this," Damien's apology is real, "But my dads are getting on my ass about coming home for something. See you later?"

Oz looks thoughtful, "Yeah, see you later Dames."

Damien turns away from Oz and tries to recover what parts of himself just broke. Damien barely even realizes he's opened a portal back home until he's already through. Damien looks back through the portal at Oz one last time.

One thing for certain, Damien definitely proved himself to be a real friend.


	47. I just want to forget... pt. 1/3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damien has to deal with the fallout of having his heart broken while Oz wonders why his crush is avoiding him. 
> 
> Part 1 out of this 3 part adventure.

It's funny how two people can get into the same situation and come out with different experiences. Even if everything is exactly the same no matter what angle you view it from, they'll both come out thinking something different about the event that just occured. Maybe it's because it's impossible to recreate the exact same thoughts in one person's mind that the other has, or maybe it's because despite everything being the same, people don't realize it. 

It's like a piece of art. You can look at it millions of times over, memorize the entire canvas, study every stroke, and still spot something you didn't notice before a year later. To most, it comes down to awareness. What type of mental state are they in? What did they just finish doing? How will their personal experiences come into play? How do the people around them influence them? 

These are all questions that can directly affect a person's point of view. These are all the questions that can leave two people entering the same event then leaving with opposite ideas to the other. This is the reason that Oz and Damien can both come out of that conversation on the roof with opposite conclusions. This is what Damien thinks about as he avoids all his friends in favor of moping far away from Spooky High.

These concepts might be a lot more metaphysical than the demon's usual train of thoughts, but considering he's trying to patch his heart back together with nothing but fire, destruction, and retrospect the topic's on point. 

While pulling multiple less than passionate splurges of arson the last few days, Damien's been doing a lot more thinking than just how things went so horribly wrong. He's long since expanded his pity party to how he was an idiot, all the reasons Oz would never date him, and the most irrational question of them all, who Oz has decided is better than Damien. That last one actually fits in all the previous self-deprecating categories as well as being its own problem. Why? Because Damien hates that he's even thinking about it.

After everything that's happened, Oz unintentionally cemented Damien in the friend zone, and Damien, not wanting to lose more than he already had, took the position without any protest. Damien took himself out of the running for Oz's affection the moment he gave him advice on how to ask someone else out. He shouldn't still be wondering who said person was because Damien has no right to be curious. Not that the demon really had any right to be curious before either, but at least then he could convince himself that his interest was fine because he needed to make sure Oz wasn't already involved with somebody else.

Still, despite all of the self loathing associated with the topic, the demon finds himself replaying every interaction Oz has had with everyone at school, desperately trying to figure out where Oz started falling for someone. Who was it?! Zoe? No, Oz specifically said she was like a sister to him. Was it one of the members of the loser gang? Maybe, but Oz never acted weird around any of them when they were so obviously crushing on Vera, Scott, and Liam.

A scream pierces the air from within the national park Damien set on fire. It's the same place the prince of Hell walked through with Oz not more than three days earlier. Yes, Damien is the one who caused the fire, and he doesn't regret a thing. Well, no, Damien regrets a fuck ton of things right now, the fire just isn't one of them. 

Damien doesn't even look up at the chaotic sounds of the flames and what's within them as he sits in one of the few trees that has not gone up in flames. Anybody who knows the demon would instantly know something is wrong because of his lack enthusiasm towards the ongoing arson. Lucky for Damien, nobody who knows him is around because he's made a point to avoid all of them for obvious reasons. 

Damien's skipped the last four days of school to burn stuff. He just doesn't want to have to tell all his friends how he utterly failed at asking Oz out. Not to mention Damien doesn't think he can even look Oz himself in the eyes. The weekend starts tomorrow, which means Zoe's game night Saturday night is approaching quickly. Damien doesn't know if he even plans on going anymore. He's probably not considering all the messages and calls he's purposefully dismissed about just that.

Damien ignores the wince that comes with the fact he's been ignoring all that by continuing his mental search for where Oz gained a crush on somebody. If the person with Oz's affection wasn't a member of the loser gang then it had to be somebody at school. Considering the notion that Oz fell in love with somebody that doesn't go to Spooky High without at least mentioning the person to Damien hurts too much to even think about, and so the demon doesn't. 

Instead, Damien wonders if this secret person could be one of his friends. Damien rules out Vera and Liam right off because Oz openly tries to avoid them and their pessimism most days. Damien rules out Scott and Miranda as well because as much as Oz humors them, he never really seeks them out. 

Sirens ring out in the distance in sync with Damien's phone. The demon doesn't even have to pull his phone out to know it's Scott considering he insisted on his ringtone being a children's song about pudding. Without looking, Damien rejects the call and grumbles as smoke blots out the sun.

That leaves Polly and Calculester, the last two people in Damien's friend group. Yeah, Polly is taken out of the running instantly. She's tried flirting with Oz multiple times to get on Damien's nerves and the dork barely even reacted other than slight discomfort. Damien doesn't really think Calculester is Oz's type, but that doesn't keep his heartbroken mindset from marking the robot down on the maybe list.

A flaming oak falls over behind Damien's tree with a deafening thud. It lands on an ambulance and crushes a couple people. The firemen present rush to the now burning medical vehicle to try and save anybody not dead. The shouts of terror and panic that would usually entertain Damien to no end just annoy him now.

Oz could have a crush on somebody else at school of course. Oz has already flat out rejected Dmitri and the Interdimensional Prince, so at least Damien doesn't have to worry about them. The same thing goes for the Slayer and Dahlia. The demon doesn't know if they're actually dating or anything, but they've at least got  _ something  _ going on at least. Kale is excluded from the investigation altogether for obvious reasons considering he's both asexual and aromantic. Blobert is Blobert, so no. That leaves Valarie. That's two monsters on Damien's maybe list.

The shouts of the fireman and other emergency workers get louder and closer and Damien finally gets fed up with their incessant noise. The demon came out here to listen to the relaxing sound of fire crackling, not some pathetic people's cries for mercy.

"WILL YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP DOWN THERE?!" Damien stands up on the branch high above the emergency service vehicles and screams with all the fury he can muster, which is a lot if you didn't know, "I'M TRYING TO SORT OUT MY GODDAMN EMOTIONS AND YOU'RE REALLY PISSING ME THE HELL OFF! SHUT UP OR I'LL COME DOWN THERE AND RIP YOUR SPINE OUT OF YOUR BACK AND USE IT TO STRANGLE YOU!"

Just like that, all the shouting and screaming stops because everyone is stuck staring at the demon in a tree that sounds close to starting another fire. Damien glares at the surprised and scared faces below, huffs, then sits back down on his branch with his back to the chaos. Damien relishes the silence for about thirty seconds before it all kicks back into gear. He's frustrated that nobody listened to his threats, but is too focused on other things to have another outburst.

It's between Valarie and Calculester. Those are the only two people left unless Oz has a crush on the wolf pack which, no. Just, no. Damien considers the two monsters thoughtfully. Oz spends more time around Calculester in general, but he specifically seeks out Valerie to have lunch and talk about her stuff sometimes. On the other side of things, Valerie's said she plans on staying single for a while and Oz didn't seem to mind, but Calculester is a robot and doesn't even seem to know who or what he likes yet. As angry and wistful as Damien is, he just doesn't see Oz having a crush on either of them. 

"DAMIEN LAVEY!" Damien flinches at the loud intrusive noise and turns to glare down at the bottom of the tree to see who's yelling.

Some of the emergency service people must have called the cops when they realized Damien was probably the one who lit the forest on fire. Not even hesitating, Damien rages.

"Goddammit," Damien swings his legs around so he's facing the cop and crosses his arms, "Piss off old man, I'm not in the mood to deal with this shit today, and I'm pretty sure you don't have a portal preventer or whatever that's called to try and stop me from leaving whenever I want. Just fuck off and go home!"

The cop bristles and Damien rolls his eyes while staring down. Did he think Damien was just going to willingly jump down and put the handcuffs on himself? Cause if he did, Damien made a mistake in thinking this bastard was anywhere near smart.

As the officer lifts up a megaphone, Damien rolls his eyes again because of course he has a megaphone, he shouts, "COME DOWN PEACEFULLY AND I PROMISE WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO LOWER YOUR SENTENCE!"

Damien doesn't even dignify that with a response. Why would he? Everybody knows if Damien got arrested he'd get sentenced for fifty lifetimes. Not that Damien would be there for long. If his dads didn't get him out with diplomatic immunity or whatever in the first few hours then Oz would surely find a way to get… him… out.

Great, now Damien's sad all over again.

Whatever obscenities Damien was about to direct towards the cop below, drain out of him along with all his frustration at the remainder of how he screwed everything up. As if to taunt him, Damien's phone vibrates in his pocket and a quick glance shows it's a text from Oz. Great. Damien's ignoring that.

"Just… leave me alone," Damien doesn't have the energy to sound upset anymore.

"YOU HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH MULTIPLE CHARGES OF ARSON, MURDER, MANSLAUGHTER, VEHICULAR MANSLAUGHTER, LARCENY, GRAND THEFT AUTO, AND-" The officer just keeps going.

Damien frowns down at the cop below, wondering if he should still try and get him to leave. After a moment of indecision, Damien decides it's not worth the effort and sighs before staring off in the distance while tuning the man out.

"-MANY MORE ACTIVITIES THAT I WILL NOT LIST IN FRONT OF CIVILIANS! YOU WILL COME WITH US AND I WILL HAPPILY ESCORT YOU TO THE DARKEST CELL WE HAVE SO YOU CAN ROT FOR THE REST OF YOUR MISERABLE LIFE IN A-" Damien's barely impressed by the threats until there's a sudden loud squeak throughout the area and he looks back down at the ground out of curiosity. To Damien's surprise, another officer has stolen his comrade's megaphone and takes over the whole talking bit.

Although Damien's mood tanks even lower when he realizes the guy now trying to get his attention is the same annoying sheriff that's tried to arrest him on multiple occasions over the years. It's the same happy go lucky guy that Oz molotov'd a few months back.

The demon has no idea what the guy's problem is, but he really has an obsession about arresting Damien. The more the prince of Hell thinks about it, the more annoyed he gets, especially considering this area is way out of the guy's actual jurisdiction. He must have driven all the way out here just because of Damien.

The guy was a nuisance in every sense of the word. Damien would kill him if he could, but the stupid fucker was some type anamorphic cursed armor. He kinda looked like those sets of knight armor that came to life in old black and white horror movies, except for the fact he was slicker, more modernized, and is held together by magical blue flames. 

He's practically invincible. Even if the dude's armor is separated or scattered in something like a… uh, let's say explosion, he can still drag himself back together and be fine. It's even worse because the metal armor is made from something that's nigh indestructible. Damien's taken extra care to avoid him since he and Oz started doing stuff together, but it seems his luck in staying away from the guy ends today. 

"1, 2, 3, 4. Is this thing working?" The set of talking armor taps the megaphone and it let's out another loud screech that has everyone other than Damien cover their ears, "Oh, good, it is. Hello Damien!"

Did Damien mention this guy has a sunshine personality pure enough to rival even Blobert? He didn't? Well, what about his stick in the mud personality and strict morals? No? That's a shame.

"I'm sorry about Officer Smith over there," The sheriff politely apologizes, "After your friend gravely injured Officer Jenkins at that party a couple months ago the whole force has been hearing ghost tales about you two. It's quite the impressive feat of strength to paralyze a stone golem. Jenkins had to retire y'know. He got a medal though, so that's nice. Though, he had a lot of friends in the force. Most of them are out for your blood."

Some of Damien's usual snark manages to shine through at this, "You've talked to me long enough before to know guilt trips and threats don't work on me. Is Alzhiemer's getting to you or something?"

The sheriff doesn't even look phased by Damien's jab, "Ah, no, you're misunderstanding my intentions. I know you don't really feel bad about the things you do. We actually have you down in our files as a possible psychopath."

Damien raises an eyebrow, "Then why are you even talking?"

"I was getting there sonny," The sheriff laughs good humoredly at Damien's impatience, "You see, we also have a file on that new partner of yours, and that he seems to at least feel somewhat remorseful for things he's doing. He usually sticks to you, so I'm trying to initiate a conversation. Is he here? I'd like to talk to him. It is a him , right? We haven't had much luck getting much of anything on him considering how slippery he is."

Just like that, Damien is back in a funk, "Oz… Oz isn't here…"

"O-Oh, well, then," The sheriff finally seems surprised by Damien's strange behavior, "Well, umm, I think you've already heard the whole come peacefully spiel from Officer Smith a few minutes ago… so this is the part where I warn you we'll have to use force if you don't comply."

"...Can't you just leave me alone?" Damien hates how pitiful he sounds, but can't help it.

The sheriff below looks out of his depth. He was probably trained for heartless maniacs, not temperamental teenagers with broken hearts. Still, he's sheriff for a reason. If he wasn't flexible he would've been out of the job years ago.

"You …um… alright there? You don't seem to be in such a good mood? Does this have to do with this 'Oz' friend of yours?" The sheriff flounders for a second before adding, "We can talk about it if you want."

Damien grumbles something incomprehensible before scowling and looking straight down. Why is the demon even thinking about talking about this with some random acquaintance? Damien just needs to man up and ignore all his terrible emotions, and his problems.

"U-Um… What was that you just said?"

"IT'S SO STUPID!" Or, on the other hand, Damien could just rant as much as he wants because when has he ever cared about what others think of his outbursts, "I REALLY LIKED HIM! I-I really thought I had a chance too, but NO! Somebody else just had to get his attention instead of me."

"Oh… um…" The sheriff was at a loss for words. In fact, the entirety of the first responders below seemed lost as well.

"Hell, he didn't even tell me who it was!" Damien ignores the authorities and continues, "Oz didn't even fucking trust me with that! I mean, he doesn't know I like him so it wasn't like he could've thought I was going to muder them in a jealous rage. Which, I wouldn't have by the way. I might get angry easily, but that doesn't mean I don't have some control. That just means he thinks he can't trust me with this, and that fucking hurts. I can't say anything though because he's such a supportive dork and I just can't be mad at him because I know he'll feel terrible. It's just so… so… GAH! I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING!"

Damien swings one leg over and straddles the branch he's sitting on before leaning back on the trunk of the tree in wild despair. Why did he think shouting his problems to the world would help again? Oh right, the demon wasn't thinking. Oz is the one who tells Damien when something's a bad idea or not before helping him come up with something smarter to do. Not for the first time, Damien wonders if his self imposed isolation from his friend is worth it, only to remember why he doesn't want to see him again and be cowed.

"So… let me get this straight," Damien glares at the sentient set of cursed armor below as he raises his mega phone back up, "You're partner in crime, I'm assuming his name is Oz because you've used it multiple times, is romantically involved with someone else while you want to be romantically involved with him?"

"Well, no," Damien tries to find a better way to explain his sitution despite noe knowing why, "You see, I set this whole fucking romantic explosion at the therapy center near here-"

"That was you?" The sheriff asks with an exasperated sigh. At this point most of the earlier tension below the demon is disappearing. In fact, a camper that escaped the fires unscathed even feels safe enough to start videoing the mess.

"Of course it was me! Who else would douse a therapy with gasoline just to ignite it with an explosion?!" Damien snaps before continuing, "Back to what I was saying. I blew up that building so I could tell him how much he meant to me with this cool gesture, but then he asked me how to ask somebody he likes out. It was terrible just because I didn't know what the fuck to do! I couldn't just tell him because that'd be being a dick and I absolutely couldn't just tell him to fend for himself because then I'd be an even bigger dick."

A couple of the medical staff wince at Damien's predicament with the type of relatability that's only found by single women who watch lots of sitcoms. Although, even a few of the officers that were hostile earlier pause and give Damien a pitying glance. The demon doesn't know if that should make him feel better or worse. 

"Well, I don't know this Oz fellow that's been hanging out with you since I haven't seen you in person for a while, but from what I've read in my reports, he really does like you," The sheriff doesn't smile considering his head it literally a helmet, but his voice sounds jovial. Damien doesn't hear the next part because of the mega phone being turned off, but the sheriff does add, "...especially since your whole tirade there disqualifies Officer Vannessa's theory that he was being sexually coerced."

The police force down on the ground however, do hear the comment and have to rein in laughing. An anthropomorphic black and red bunny with a name tag that that says Vanny only looks disappointed as she grumbles about losing a bet and owing Officer Afton a favor.

Damien stays quiet and the sheriff continues, "I mean, think of it this way son. He might not like you the way you want him to, but at least you're still friends. Plus, if you really care about him the way you do, isn't it best if you're just happy for him if his crush accepts him?"

"The problem with that is I know Ozzie!" Damien growls, "The poor dork gets nervous when somebody on the street just says hello to him. There's no way he'll be able to ask whoever his crush is and I'll be left watching him stare from a distance and pining forever!"

"I thought you said you didn't know who his crush was?" It's a testament to how often this specific police force deals with Damien that they rather chat about his love life than try to do their jobs.

"I DON'T!" Damien shouts, "But that doesn't mean I won't find out! Oz might not feel the same way I do, but that's not going to stop me from giving whoever he dates the shovel talk. I have to threaten their family and life if they ever hurt Oz and all that crap."

Damien's surprised to find what he's saying is the truth. He  _ will _ stand back and let Oz have whoever he wants because Oz can certainly has the right to choose. Everyone at school loves the nerd despite him not noticing. Damien thinks that each separate Dmitri, Prince, and Avery situation proves that. Honestly, Oz could probably have himself a harem if he wanted.

"Look, I get that you're hurt," The sheriff below is still giving Damien a pep talk, but the demon isn't listening any longer.

Damien wishes he knew who the object of Oz's affections is right this very moment. Mostly because Damien refuses to let anyone date Oz that isn't good enough for him, but also because a tiny selfish part of Damien wonders if he acts more like the person Oz has a crush if he'll grow to like the demon more instead. It's a terrible thought, but Damien can't help thinking it.

"But, you need to realize there are plenty of fish in the sea," The sheriff continues, not realizing that he's no longer being paid any attention too.

Is this karma or something? Revenge from the universe because of all the things he's done? It makes sense. Damien can't really die and go to Hell considering he's the prince of the fiery plane. Even if Damien ends up in one of the other eight circles of down under, his parents will still find some way to snatch him back. With most of the other circles allied with the Laveys, Damien would probably just get sent back up to the mortal realm with the departing wishes that he say hello to his dads for some other demon king.

"I'm sure you'll get over this and find someone else that probably really likes you and uh…" The sheriff turns off his megaphone and quickly turns to his back up, "What do millenials like?"

All the officers start murmuring. After a few seconds of conversing, they turn back to the sheriff and offer suggestions. It's to bad Damien still isn't paying attention because he would've gotten a kick out of suggestions like-

"Fidget spinners!"

"Slime?"

"I think cat photos are still a thing…"

"THE CAKE IS A LIE!"

"Uh, is vine still popular?"

"No, no, no! You gotta go to Music.ly now!"

"I don't think that's what it's called anymore. It got renamed after a bad clock impression or something."

"Just say drugs. All teenagers like drugs."

Yeah, it really is too bad Damien isn't paying attention. Those answers were hilariously stupid. Although Polly and Kale would probably agree with the last one, Kale a little less so than Polly. Luckily though, nobody's seemed to realize Damien wasn't paying attention anymore. 

"Come on guys! You have got to give me a solid answer!" The sheriff pleads before suddenly turning to an old scraggly man trying to pickpocket Officer smith, "And get out of here Stoner Steve! We already told you we won't let you into the evidence lockers to steal the 'good stuff' from our raids for your imaginary ghost friend! No drugs!"

The scraggly dude shrugs and strolls away, "Fine. It's not like I was trying to help you or anything."

"How do you even follow us?" A pixy with a police uniform asks curiously.

"Give me some of your pixy dust and I'll spill," Stoner Steve smirks with a laugh.

"Okay, ignoring that. I'll just wing this," The sheriff lifts the mega phone back up towards Damien and starts over, "Well, no matter what young demons like you like nowadays, I'm sure you'll find somebody who appreciates you for you. Now, would you mind coming down? If you surrender we can continue this conversation in the police car. I might not look like it, but I was quite the eyecatcher back in the-"

Sadly, Damien did catch the tail end of that bit and couldn't help cutting in, "The problem isn't that Oz doesn't get me! In fact, I'd probably say he's the only one who gets why I enjoy fucking stuff up! He doesn't come along with me to do this stuff because he has to, he… he just liked hanging out with me…"

"What does that mean? Have you two been out of contact for a while?" The sheriff asks curiously.

"No…" Damien's phone vibrates again and the demon winces, "I may be… avoiding him… and all my other friends."

"Oh. Well, that's not a good thing to do," The sheriff scolds.

"No shit dumbass!" Damien's guilt feeds his defensive response, "I just don't want to see them right now. Most of then already know what I was gonna do and are gonna ask a lot of questions about it, and god fucking dammit, I'm already asking too many questions about the whole shitshow myself."

The sheriff suddenly pulls himself together and holds himself confidently, "No good ever comes from ignoring your problems. You should go back to school and face everything head on, like a man."

"WHAT?!" Damien squawks, "There is no way I'm doing that! Oz is gonna be-"

"You said you wanted to figure out who he had a crush on right? You can't do that from up there in that oak," The sheriff just keeps rolling with the flow, "You are a maniacal murderer with a body count! Are you going to let some petty highschool drama keep you from your friend like a coward?!"

"I'm  _ not  _ a coward," Damien growls.

"Coulda fooled me!" The talking armor retorts, "Now, what are you going to do Damien?!"

"I'm gonna answer my friends texts and go back to school and beat their asses if they even bring up what happened!" Damien stands up on the branch he was sitting on and snarls.

"What?! No, that's not-" Realizing that's probably the best he's going to get, the sheriff switches tunes with a sigh, "Yep that's what you're gonna do."

"DAMIEN LAVEY IS NO COWARD! I'm gonna go kick awkward teenage drama in it's ugly socially problematic face! Fuck this pity party shit, I'm gonna go wreck Spooky High with my awesomeness!"

"Spooky High? Somebody write that down," The sheriff gestures towards his friends before turning back to the demon in a tree, "Good for you! Do you want a ride back there? I can promise that we won't not arrest you until we get there."

"I'm not stupid," Damien rolls his eyes as he pulls out his phone and types some stuff. A portal opens next to Damien in the air and he steps part of the way through before peaking back out with a smirk, "Oh, and thank whichever one of you fucker's left a hotspot open on their phone. I wouldn't have got a connection otherwise."

With that parting jab, the portal closes and the squad of cops, fire fighters, and medical workers fall silent. The only noise permeating the area is the sound of smoldering wood and the slight wimpers of those in the back of one of the ambulances.

"Well, you heard him boys," Ther sheriff turns around, "We've gotta find out as much as possible about Spooky High. Let's get on it!"

…

"He still isn't responding!" Vera hisses along with the vipers in her hair, "Do you have anything yet guys?"

All of Damien's best friends, minus the loser gang and Oz, gathered themselves in the gym to try to get the demon to talk to them. It was easy to get an entire section of the place to themselves and out of exercising when they lied to the coach about them having a soulmate emergency. Actually, considering Zoe was the one who came up with the whole soulmate nonsense, it probably wasn't that much of a lie considering the eldritch being she believed it with all of her heart.

"No…" Scott's whimpers out a response with his ears down and his tail tucked between his legs, "Damien didn't even send me his usual greeting emoji with the single finger that means I'm number one…"

"Things could not have gone so bad on his outing right?" Liam frowns, "It's been three days. What could have gone wrong?"

"I don't know," Vera scowls, "Oz hasn't been moping around in guilt the last few days so that means he didn't reject Damien. The most likely scenario is that Damien chickened out and is being a baby, but he usually doesn't let his little hissy fits last more than a few hours. I've never seen him go on like this for days before."

"I agree with Vera," Calulester is talking while he attempts to triangulate Damien's cell phone location, "The most likely outcome of Damien's date considering all the evidence I've gathered is that Damien did not go through with his plan. Which is disappointing considering if he went through with it he was highly to gain the affections of friend Oz."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Percentages, math, isosceles, and whatever," Polly waves off what Calulester says as she tries to get through to her friend yet again, "Stop yapping and tell us when you find Damien. Hey Miranda, Zoe. You guys have any luck getting through?"

"GAH! No!" Zoe throws her arms up in the air, "He won't answer me and none of my cultists are doing a good job of searching."

"The same thing is happening to me," Miranda admits sullenly, "My serfs have all come up empty handed."

"I swear to god when I see Damien I am literally going to strangle him!" Vera scowls, "Why does he even have a phone if he isn't going to answer it?!"

"Calm down Vera, you know Damien's probably just throwing a tantrum at some poor crime scene he created," Liam shakes his head, "I wouldn't be worried about him."

"If there's nothing to be worried about then why are you helping us?" Polly raises a disbelieving eyebrow at Liam.

"I-I well," Liam obviously didn't expect to be called out on his hypocritical actions and flounders for a response, "I'm helping because I don't have anything better to do. That's all."

Zoe rolls all of her many eyes at the vampire, "Stop trying to pretend you don't care. We all know you're actually just a big softie. Vera pretends just as well as you do, but even she's acting concerned at this point."

"Yeah! I know you secretly love us!" Scott smiles happily.

Liam covers his face with his phone to hide whatever expression he's making while pretending to still be focused on trying to get in touch with Damien, "...Whatever…"

"Attention friends, I have located friend Damien," Calculester's screen suddenly starts to digitally smile, "I am currently attempting to tap all video and radio feeds in the nearby area to gather further data on friend Damien's well being. Hopefully then I can show you his current condition."

Polly rushes forward and grabs Calulester's shoulders, "You got this Cal! Tell us where our sad murderous friend is!"

Everyone else gathers around Calulester at a much calmer, but still frantic, pace. Even Liam gets up from the spot he slid down against the wall to get closer.

"Hmm… PROCESSING… TAPPING FEEDS… STARTING BROADCAST…" Suddenly, Calulester's screen shows some low quality camera feed from some scared monster's smartphone. The girl is in the middle of what looks to be a burning forest next to a bunch of police cars, fire trucks, and ambulances.

"Oh wow! A movie!" Scott gasps in awe.

"It's not a movie Scott," Liam rolls his eyes, "It's some type of disaster getting filmed by a monster too stupid to learn when to run."

"Where's Damien though?!" Polly lets go of Calulester and backs up to cross her arms and frown.

"Well, the police are looking up in that tree," Zoe comments, "So…"

"That's where Damien is," Miranda states with no doubt in her voice.

As if she could hear them, the monster videoing the chaos shifts her phone's camera up to show a very familiar demon sitting in the branches of an Oak tree. Vera facepalms and shakes her head and Polly laughs because setting a forest on fire when upset is such a Damien move. 

"Be quiet Polly!" Zoe scolds, "I'm trying to hear what they're saying! Cal, can you turn up the volume somehow?"

Instead of answering, Calculester just does what Zoe asks. The audio on the phone is crappy, but what's being said can still be heard over the sound of crackling flames. 

Damien's voice comes through clear and agitated,  _ "I blew up that building so I could tell him how much he meant to me-" _

"Oh my god," Vera's voice is drenched in disbelief, "He's literally spilling his heart out to the police force."

"SHHHHH!" Zoe turns to Vera and scolds her for being too loud, "I'm trying to listen!"

_ "-but then he asked me how to ask somebody he likes out." _

Zoe gasps, "WHAT?!"

"SHHHHH!" Polly turns towards Zoe with the same gesture, the eldritch being just used on Vera.

_ "-I didn't know what the fuck to do! I couldn't just tell him because that'd be being a dick and I absolutely couldn't just tell him to fend for himself because then I'd be an even bigger dick." _

When it's clear that Damien's done explaining, a cop that looks suspiciously like a magic suit of armor starts shouting something through a megaphone at the demon in a tree. However, at this point, none of the monsters watching the show are actually paying attention anymore.

"T-This is impossible!" Zoe exclaims, gaining a bit of attention from the students actually participating in gym, "They're perfect for each other! I know they are, a-and Oz doesn't like anybody! Why would he ask something like that?!"

Whatever attention Zoe grabbed is immediately lost when people realize she's just getting upset about one of her ships sinking, something that's a common occurrence at this point. Everyone else present, except Calculester who is still broadcasting video, is more concerned about Damien's wellbeing.

"Come on Zoe, I know you think of Oz like some weird brother, but that doesn't mean you know everything about him. He might have a crush on some sexy minotaur or something, y'know?"

"But there's no way-"

"Everybody shut up," Vera demands as she types on her phone, "I'm going to try and call Damien again."

"Don't bother," Liam frowns, holding up his phone, "I already tried."

"Maybe he lost his phone," Miranda suggests, "Considering Damien doesn't have a serf to hold his things all the time, he might have misplaced it."

"Just be quiet. It's ringing," Vera has her phone next to her ear now.

Everyone turns their attention to Calulester's screen. The officer is still shouting at Damien, but the demon no longer seems to be paying him any mind. On screen, Damien doesn't even look down at his pocket.

"That bastard put us on silent despite knowing we're worried about him!" Vera snarls. 

"It seems so," Liam deadpans, "I think this is the part where I say I told you so."

"If you do," Vera starts threateningly, "I will purposefully destroy everything you love slowly and horribly."

"Guys! Don't fight! We have to worry about Damien! He looked so sad!" Scott whimpers.

Vera huffs, "Goddammit, you're right. We all have to support him before I can teach him a lesson. I can't believe Oz likes someone other than Damien. I shouldn't have based my predictions on anything other than hard evidence, and that hard evidence is that Oz said he was just friends with Damien."

" **_NO!_ ** _ " _ Zoe shouts, gaining the whole gym's attention before sinking to the ground in a heap, "That can't be true! They both said they… H-How could this happen? This shouldn't- Oz said- He wouldn't- Is it because of what I said? No, there's no way that-" 

Most students and Coach slowly start to back away from the eldritch being having a crisis to leave the gym. Zoe's never been shy about admitting she was the monster that destroyed the school and they aren't too keen on sticking around to watch it happen again. Zoe's friends on the other hand, stay firmly in place before sharing a silent conversation through glances.

"Umm, Zoe?" Scott starts forward first with him being the most emotionally understanding and sympathetic.

Zoe doesn't even look up as she keeps murmuring, "They both wanted my help… I didn't… I couldn't… How did I mess all this up so badly? Why would Oz ask that? D-Did he lie? No, he couldn't have, but then why…?"

"You don't need to be sad!" Scott doesn't even register Zoe's lack of response, "I'm sure Oz and Damien will figure things out! They're both best friends just like me and Vicky! They'll get through this together no-"

**_"THAT'S IT!"_ ** Zoe jumps to her feet with all the enthusiasm she lacked moments ago, "Vicky, Amira, and Brian! Oz was annoyed with me because I gave him a time limit, so he went to them for help instead of me! He asked those idiots for love advice! No wonder everything went downhill!"

"Woah, woah, woah," Polly floats forward cautiously, "You lost me somewhere between your breakdown and your nonsense. Are you still talking about Oz's rejection?"

"Rejection?! This was no 'rejection' at all!" Zoe grins.

"What are you talking about?" Miranda tilts her head to the side curiously.

"There's no time to explain!" Zoe starts sprinting to the exit while shouting over her shoulder, "I've gotta go find those three dummies to see how they screwed everything up!"

Nobody moves to follow Zoe or try to stop her. Why would they when she's clearly going insane?

"Should I go after her?" Scott tilts his head towards the exit askingly.

"No, she's probably just going to go find Amira, Brian, and Vicky to try and interrogate them," Vera sighs.

"Uh..? Don't we need to worry about her accidentally spilling the beans to them?" Polly asks nervously, "Damien will be fifty times more angry now that he knows Oz doesn't like him if his crush gets out."

"It's fine," Vera dismisses flippantly, "Zoe might be crazy, but she swore some weird oath to not reveal other people's crushes. It's like the Hippocratic Oath for doctors except more… how do I phrase this… morally gray."

Polly visibly looks relieved, "Thank god. I did not want to get exorcised by a priest to escape Damien's fury."

"What do we do now?" Miranda speaks up questioningly, "I mean, we must help our friend, correct?"

"He's not answering to any of us, so the only thing we could do is track Damien down and give him a lecture on how people are supposed to answer calls," Nodding at his own idea, Liam turns towards Calculester, who is still streaming video feed of Damien, "Hey Cal, tell us where that's at."

The video feed stays up, but the audio cuts so Calulester can talk, "That is a bit of a tricky thing to do friend Liam. You see, he is in the middle of the Scantwood National park. Because he is in the middle of nowhere, I can only give you a general location and directions using the recorded radio audio from the multiple squad cars on scene."

"Come on Cal! Damien set a forest on fire and is surrounded by police in a tree, I think general directions are enough for us to find something like  _ THAT!"  _ Polly laughs.

"Okay then," Calculester goes quiet for a moment, "...SEARCHING FOR OPTIMAL ROUTE TO LOCATION…"

"Amazing! Caluclester is able to work as a GPS all by himself," Miranda looks impressed, "That's is simply amazing! It takes me three serfs to do what you do."

Calculester doesn't respond to Miranda as he is busy, "...CALCULATING TIME AND TRAVEL PREFERENCES…

"Travel preferences?" Vera raises an eyebrow, "Why would Calculester have to set up travel preferences?"

"Uh duh, Vera! He's deciding who gets to ride shotgun in your car!" Polly laughs as if that's actually somehow the answer.

"No. I don't think that's what it is," Liam has the same expression of confusion and slight concern as Vera.

"...COMBINING DATA…" There's a few beeps, a buzz, and then Calulester is talking normally again. Well, as normal as a robot with a should and mind can be.

"To get to our destination the quickest way possible, we need to get to choose a mode of transportation and move approximately seven hundred and twenty miles to get to Canada. Then we must-"

"CANADA?!" Vera, Polly, and Liam exclaim all at once in shock.

Calulester pauses for a moment, somewhat surprised by the outburst to his information, "...Yes...Canada is what I said." 

"Oh," Scott nods as if Damien being in so far away is a normal thing, "I think I might have been there once, or that might've been Australia actually."

"What were you doing in Australia Scott?" Miranda easily gets distracted by the werewolf's off hand question.

"I don't know," Scott shrugs carelessly, "I wake up in weird places after full moons! One time I woke up in Japan and these business people made a snack with my face on it! They're delicious!"

"Really?" Miranda looks impressed, "That's quite impressive. It actually gives me a wonderful idea. Maybe the Vanderbilts should start putting their faces on all our peasants' food. That way they'll always remember who is in-"

"Stop talking about your monarchy Miranda!" Polly's surprisingly the one to try and get things back on topic, "You're genocide and oppression can be addressed later. Getting to Damien is what's important right now!"

"Getting to Damien?" Vera scoffs, "That's not going to happen. I am not driving all the way to Canada because he's moping, and I'm definitely not trusting some second-rate magic users like the Covin to send us there. We're not like the police force, we don't have endless connections and funding for that crap."

"B-But we have to get to Damien and cheer him up!" Scott protests, "He's sad!"

"I still can't believe that idiot's actually in another country," Liam grumbles.

"Is this where your confusion is stemming from?" Calculester asks curiously, "If so, I can properly get rid of your concerns as it seems you've forgotten Damien's parents have given him a magical app to summon portals. It is 67.72% likely that's how Damien got to that forest to destroy it. Of course, there are other ways Damien could have gotten there as well. One example would be-"

"We get the point. Damien could've gotten to Canada in multiple ways," Liam cuts Calulester off, "But that only makes me agree with Vera. Damien has access to all kinds of quick travel magic, and I'm not getting stuck in a vehicle with you all for that long just for him to move cross country again last second."

"B-But- But-" Everyone, except Calulester, braces for Scott's puppy dog eyes by looking away and shielding their face, "Damien's sad and we can't leave him by himself!"

"Umm, I hate to interrupt," Calculester tries, "But I have something you might-"

"We can't go after him Scott!" Vera interrupts the interruption by denying Scott's request yet again, "He'll be fine! He's just having a hissy fit because he probably didn't want to talk to us about what happened!"

"But he's hurting, and all alone…" Scott whimpers as his eyes glisten.

"He'll be back soon!" Liam tries to reason with the emotional werewolf across from him, "He just needs to get this out of his system. All we can do is support him. Which'll be easy because he won't want us to talk about it at all."

"Excuse me friends but-" Calulester doesn't get to finish.

"But Vicky says it's always a good thing to talk about your feelings!" Scott protests, "Not talking is a bad thing, I think."

"Look, Vicky's completely right," Vera starts, "But sometimes people need time to talk about their feelings. In Damien's case, he needs about thirty years before he can comfortably talk about something that upsets him emotionally."

"Really?" Scott stops whimpering and whining to look at Vera curiously.

"Yeah bud! We help Damien by not helping him!" Polly says excitedly, "All we have to do is ask him what happened once or twice then leave it be and he'll be fiiiine."

"Polly's right," Liam shakes his head before looking up at the sky, "Never thought I'd say that, but she is right. Damien needs space with these types of things. If we nag for answers, then he'll just want to get away from us. Legitimately, our best bet is to keep trying to call him and then treat him like everything's normal if he pops back up all of a sudden."

"Please friends, I must alert you-" Poor Calulester can't get a sentence in.

"Okay then…" Scott agrees with his friends, albeit reluctantly. The idea of Damien being in distress by himself probably set off Scott's pack instincts and made him even more emotionally motivated than normal. Under normal circumstances, Miranda and everyone else would be teasing him about it while secretly being touched, but not now, "I'll do what you say, but only because I think you know what's best!"

"Friends! Please look at my screen and notice-"

"Guys! Damien isn't on Calculester's face screen anymore!" Miranda steals Calculester's thunder when she points to his face and calls out the fact Damien is no longer in his tree, "Oh dear, where could he have gone?"

Calculester lets out a deep, oddly exasperated sigh, "Don't worry Miranda. I have already traced Damien's phone yet again. I wanted to alert you all that he is currently walking down the hallway on the other end of the school."

The feed on Calulester's face changes to show Damien strolling down one of the hallways in Spooky High from a camera i stalled nearby. Scott barks in joy. Yes, he actually barked. 

"Damien's back! Damien's back! Damien's back!" Scott repeats over and over again happily, "Can we go see him? Can we, can we, can we?! Please!?"

This time, nobody looked away in time to get away from Scott's adorable and controlling gaze, so they were practically unable to tell him no. Luckily though, before they all break under a certain werewolf's whims, Vera manages to get a bit of a hold on herself.

"Fine, but only you and Liam are going to see him," Scott pouts, and the gorgon hurries to explain, "If we all confront Damien at the same time, he'll be scared off. You don't want that, do you Scott?"

"No!" Scott shakes his head frantically, "I would hate that!"

"We'll wait here and watch what happens from Calulester's facecam," Polly instructs Liam, who looks less than enthused to have been thrown under the bus by Vera.

"Well, if  _ I  _ have to be the scouting party for Damien's current mental health at least I'll be doing it with Scott. He's less likely to try and beat me to death now," Liam says sarcastically.

"Stop being a wet blanket Liam!" Polly scolds before turning to Scott, "Get going bud! You've got a demon to cheer up! Make sure Liam doesn't scare him away, k?"

"Don't worry! We got this!" Scott grabs Liam's arm and drags the vampire out of the empty gymnasium. 

"I'll make sure he doesn't ruin anything for us," Liam tells Vera monotone.

It only takes a few more seconds and they are both out of the gym and rushing down the hallways. Once both monsters are out of sight, everyone else turns towards Calculester to watch them on the cameras. Most of them expected Calculester to just train the camera on Damien and wait for the two monsters searching for the demon to find him, but that's not what Calculester does. Instead, he impressively flips through the different cameras and follows Scott and Liam's progress through the school.

"Impressive camera work Cal," Vera can't help complimenting the sentient AI.

"Yes, this is better quality than that terribly filmed footage earlier," Miranda nods regally, "The audio is good as well."

"Agreed," Vera nods as she watches both Scott and Liam stop in the middle of the hallway and stare at the space in front of them.

"Hello to you too!" Scott greets despite nothing but air being in front of him.

Vera would just categorize the strange behavior under Scott's odd addiction with pretending inanimate objects are alive, but Liam gives a small unimpressed wave himself. Both monsters stay silent for a moment and stare in front of themselves before speaking again.

"He's fine," Liam bites out quickly. There's a pause.

"No," Liam grumbles something under his breath that the camera can't pick up and Scott frowns as if a lie has been told. There's another pause, as if both monsters are waiting for a response.

"Oh yeah! They're back that way!" Scott tells the air excitedly when the moment passes and Liam glares at the werewolf.

"What's going on?" Miranda's eyebrows are furrowed together in confusion, "Who are they talking to?"

"How would I know?!" Vera hisses as she glares at the screen in frustration. Her haze is so intense that one might think the gorgon thought if she stared long enough the answer would reveal itself.

"Maybe they're talking to an invisible person who lost their clothes in strip poker and they need to know where the locker room is so they can put on their gym clothes?" Polly suggests.

"That's…" Vera looks surprised, "...actually a pretty sound theory, good thinking Polly."

"I'm full of good theories!" Polly blows a raspberry in Vera's direction. 

"Calc, do you have an infrared mode?" Vera asks politely.

"Yes friend Vera. Would you like me to turn it on?" Calculester asks politely.

"Yes please," Vera nods.

A second passes, and the full color feed turns bright red, orange, yellow, and a lame grey. Scott is a bright red, and beside him Liam is grey and only visible because he's standing in front of Scott and his color. That's not actually much of a surprise considering he's a vampire and therefore very, very dead. No, the real surprise is that there isn't a third body temperature in the hall. Which means if there is a third person in the hall, they don't have a normal body temperature. They might not even have one at all. Well, that crosses invisible man off their list.

"Aw man, I totally wanted to have sex with an invisible person," Polly says bummed out, "I thought it'd be exciting, but I guess the universe just wants me to stay vanilla."

Ignoring everything wrong with that statement Vera shrugs, "Even if it was just an invisible person, it wouldn't have explained them having no voice."

"Having no voice… oh," Polly's eyes light up in realization.

Vera glances at the ghost quickly, "What? Do you know who it is? Please tell me you don't have an invisible druggie friend you haven't told us about."

"Nope! I'm not gonna tell you what I know," Polly floats forward and boops Vera on the nose, " _ You  _ gotta figure it all out yourself!"

Vera rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to the screen that Calulester so kindly has already turned back to normal color, "Whatever Polly, keep your little secret. I don't care."

"Yes, they're that way," Liam agrees with Scott's earlier statement calmly despite the hint of annoyance in the tone directed at Scott, "They might be busy though, so don't expect much. Excuse us, but me and Scott need to get going. I hope you figure things out though."

Apparently the conversation with thin air is over now because Liam grabs Scott's arm and drags the werewolf away in the reverse situation from earlier. Although the vampire's tugging doesn't stop Scott from getting the last word.

"Tell Vicky I said hi!" Scott waves goodbye behind him despite nobody being there.

Scott and Liam continue towards Damien and all the monsters watching them from the cameras quickly forget about the mysterious conversation that just happened. The vampire and werewolf make their way past the art class, science lab, and assasination classroom before they finally find a brooding demon. 

Whatever arrogant confidence Damien displayed when he first arrived back at school is now gone as he nervously twirls a knife in his right hand while leaning against the wall. The demon is glancing around nervously, just looking for someone to challenge why he's back. Well, perfect timing because Scott and Liam come up to do just that.

"Damien, what are you doing here? I thought you were deciding to go skip until the principal tried to send somebody down to Hell to collect you," Liam doesn't waste any time in making a jab the moment he spots the demon.

When Damien himself spots Scott and Liam, his eyes grow suspicious and his body language poised. He's ready to flee, fight, insult, and argue all at the same time. As if to prove this, Damien easily slips his knife into his jacket pocket, but he doesn't take his hand out just in case he decides he needs it. It's not like Liam or Scott are going to actually attack Damien, but everyone knows the demon falls back on violence for comfort.

"What do you two asshats want?" Damien tries to act carefree as he raises an eyebrow, but it comes out more like he's wincing violently.

"I just wanted to make sure you're alright!" Scott eagerly answers before Liam gets the chance to be subtle, "You seem sad!"

Damien is glaring now, "You needed to see why I'm alright? Why? I'm always fucking fine. Actually, I'm even better than that right now. I'm fucking fantastic!"

Liam rolls his eyes in a sarcastic 'sure' way before responding to that, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Skip the niceties, I want to know if our advice helped or not on your little date. You do know I have money riding on what happened that night right?"

Vera shakes her head with a chuckle. For once Liam's monotone sarcasm is helping him pretend to be oblivious instead of picturing him as a know it all. How quaint.

Damien grimaces and scowls before regaining his composure and putting up a blank mask, "Nothing. I decided Oz just wasn't worth it y'know."

That's a blatant lie, and Liam picks up on it and sarcastically responds with, "Sure. You spend time with him everyday, talk about him twenty four seven, and gush about how you were going to blow a building up for him when nobody else is listening just to say 'screw this' when you finally had a chance."

Damien literally growls, "You don't know shit."

"Then inform me," Liam casually walks up to Damien and leans against the wall next for him before sticking his nose in his phone. Scott tries to follow along and imitate Liam's briskness, but ends up just awkwarding laying against the wall.

"Look, I-" Calculester suddenly cuts the feed.

"What the hell Cal!" Polly shouts, "We were watching that!"

Vera on the other hand, skips the shouting at Calculester phase and turns around to see  _ why _ the robot suddenly switched screens. Sure enough, Calculester did have a reason because standing in the doorway and about to make his way towards the group is Oz. He looks nervous and worried at the same time as he steps towards the group. Polly and Miranda are still shouting at Calulester and asking questions, so Vera elbows both of them at the same time to shut them up.

"Hello friend Oz," Calculester, with his amazing reaction time due to being a machine, happily greets the newcomer first.

"H-Hey Cal," Oz sounds like a tight ball of nerves as he waves at the sentient robot.

"Hey Oz! What are you doing here?" Polly cuts right to the point.

"W-Well, I've been looking for you guys," Oz starts explaining as he nervously twiddles his thumbs, "Y-You see, Damien hasn't been answering my texts, and I don't know what's wrong. I ran into Liam and Scott in the hallway and they said they didn't know about why Damien was ignoring me, so I asked where you guys were…"

"You were the invisible man," Vera's eyes light up in realization and Polly giggles knowingly beside her. Vera tightly pinches the bridge of her nose and grumbles under breath, "I should have known that. Amira said something about you not being able to take selfies because you and cameras don't get along."

"Uh… what?" Oz asks confused.

"Nothing," Vera shakes her head before sending a warning glare at Polly, who's still chortling like there's no tomorrow. 

"Okay?" Oz still looks puzzled, but he ignores his curiosity to turn the topic back to the subject at hand, "Y-You uh, didn't answer my question. Do you know why Damien's ignoring me?"

Vera, ever the skilled liar, comes up with an excuse for Damien's behavior right on the spot, "I'm pretty sure him and his dads were doing something together the last few days without their phones. They were probably camping or something equally embarrassing for Damien. Either way, I know he hasn't been answering anyone. I might be wrong, but why else would Damien not be responding?"

Vera could have told Oz the truth to make him feel terrible, but as spiteful as the gorgon usually is towards people who make her allies upset, she knows Oz wouldn't hurt Damien on purpose even if he stabbed Amira, Vicky, and Brian. Because of this knowledge, Vera chose to spare future Oz and Damien by making up an excuse for the fiery demon behavior.

"You're probably right…" Oz nods at the gorgan before he starts fidgeting incessantly, "Just- If you see him before me, can you tell him I've been wanting to talk? I hate bothering him… b-but this is really important!"

Consider Vera intrigued, "If it's so important, why don't you just tell me so if I see Damien I can tell him right off the bat?"

"Yeah! What's this super important thing?!" Polly jumps in, "Is it a secret or plan to take over the world?! I wanna know!"

Oz's face gets stuck between absolute horror, embarrassment, and fluster, "U-Um no! I r-really need to tell Damien myself!"

"Hmmm…" Vera gives Oz a calculated look as she sizes him up, "Well, I suppose I'll keep a look out for Damien for you then."

Oz's expression fades into one of relief, "Thank you so much Vera. I was just worried Damien got himself into some type of trouble he couldn't get himself out of."

"He does tend to do that often, doesn't he?" Vera chuckles good humoredly.

"W-Well, I have to get going, but thanks for telling me about Damien," Oz is already backing towards the exit slowly, "I-I guess I'll see you all later?"

Vera snorts at the smaller monster's shy behavior, "Yeah, sure, later."

"Goodbye friend Oz," Calulester digitally smiles.

"Farewell," Miranda waves politely.

"BYEEEE!" Polly waves after Oz as he retreats from the gym at three times the speed he entered. Once Oz is gone, the poltergeist waits about five seconds before quickly turning to Calculester, "Cal, he's gone. Put the video back on."

"Sorry friend Polly," Calulester frowns, but it seems friend Damien, Liam, and Scott's meeting is already over and they have split ways. Although friend Liam and Scott were supposed to come back here they have chosen not to. This is probably because they knew Oz would be here and Liam wished to avoid what might have turned into a confrontation."

"Confrontation my ass," Vera grumbles, "He just wants an excuse to not play messenger."

"THEY LEFT?! NO!" Polly shouts, "I have to know what happened! They can't just walk away and leave me in the dark!"

"Hmm, I could attempt to hack the school files and find the backlog of footage and audio for the meeting," Calculester suggests politely.

"That sounds perfect!" Miranda claps her hands in delight, "What does it mean?"

"It means Cal is offering to let us watch how the conversation went through the old camera video," Vera explains quickly while looking off in thought.

"Oh! That's awesome! Do that Cal!" The sentient AI follows Polly's commands and shows the less than twenty minute old footage of the earlier conversation.

While Polly and Miranda sink into the watching the footage with all their attention, Vera thinks about Oz's strange behavior. He looked flustered when he talked about speaking to Damien. Which is strange because the incarnation of fear supposedly already has another crush. Although Vera thought the smaller monster had been crushing on Damien for a while, it just didn't make sense how he could lose interest so quickly. Then again, maybe he didn't. In the back of her mind, Vera reminds herself to go talk to Amira the next chance she gets to gather information.

○●•○●•○●•○●•○●•Extra●○•●○•●○•●○•●○•●

Brian, Vicky and Brian are lounging back in the bleachers next to the football field ditching class together. Brian is taking a nap while Vicky tries to convince Amira to help her plan a celebration for when Spooky High wins the championship.

"You are not getting me anywhere near you or your craft station," Amira refuses Vicky adamantly, "Something always happens to me. I already told you I'd help you set everything up. That's all you're getting from me!"

"Oh come on!" Vicky pouts petulantly, "You're just being a big whiny jerk! Nothing's going to happen to you if you help me make my banners and stuff!"

"Really?" Amira deadpans, "Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on me, fool me three times and I'm getting a restraining order on you."

"Hmph! Come on! What are you afraid of?!" Vicky stays determined to get an agreement from the djinn.

"I don't know, but from past experiences, nothing good!" Amira crosses her arms.

"Past experiences? What past experiences?" Vicky questions quickly.

"Oh, I don't know…" Amira rolls her eyes, "Maybe we can talk about that time I got a tub of glitter dumped on me, or that one time you misfired one of your cannons and hit me, or hell, maybe we can talk about last week when I was helping you set up a banner for the game and you almost let me get hung because you were to busy ogling Scott to hold my ladder steady!"

"She has a point," Brian doesn't even open his eyes up from the spot where he's sprawled out. Seems the zombie wasn't actually asleep in the first place.

"I thought you were on my side Brian!" Vicky shouts indignantly.

"Just because I agreed to help you make decorations does not mean I'm on your side," Brian replies snarkily, still not opening his eyes.

"You two are no fun," Vicky puffs her cheeks out and frowns, "Fine. You don't have to help me Amira, but you're getting extra work in the set up department and you're getting demoted to one glitter cannon instead of two."

"Oh no, how will I deal," Amira deadpans sarcastically, "It's not like I'm avoiding glitter so I'm completely fine with that."

"See, no fun! You're no fun at all!" Vicky gestures her hands at Amira violently, "Arguing with you is like arguing with rock."

"Whatever," Amira laughs, "You know you love me."

"What?! No! Never!" Vicky jokingly denies dramatically, "I hate you with every cell in my body. There is  _ no _ love involved."

Both Amira and Vicky burst into laughter and even Brian smiles from where he's laying down at. The three have mostly just been goofing off and doing normal friend stuff the last thirty minutes. Oz is usually with them when they hang out like this, but with Damien's sudden disappearance, he probably forgot about this little hang out session. Not that any of the loser gang is upset about it considering they're kinda worried about the demon's whereabouts as well.

"Say, when do you think Oz is gonna make a move on Damien?" Vicky asks out of nowhere

"Probably whenever he shows up to school again," Amira shrugs, "Oz seemed pretty determined about confessing after all."

Vicky pulls her legs up to sit with her legs crossed and turns towards Amira while doing it, "You don't think he'll chicken out?"

"Honestly? No," Amira shrugs and smiles, "I don't know why, but I really think he's gonna be the one to set things in motion."

"Hmm," Vicky looks thoughtful before turning to Brian, "What do you think Brian?"

The zombies actually opens his eyes and snorts as he gives his answer, "Oh, Oz will definitely tell Damien how he feels. If not because he wants to then at least because he owes it to Damien to tell him."

"Well, I think things will turn out fine too!" Vicky nods to herself self assuredly before giggling, "Damien won't leave Oz alone once they're dating you know. He already checks on Oz like every hour, so Damien will barely ever take his hands off him when they're in a relationship."

Amira snorts, "I'd say poor Oz, but I'm pretty sure that's exactly what he wants."

"Hey, do you think Damien's kinky?" Vicky asks with legitimate curiosity.

Amira is about to respond when Brian suddenly sits up and shakes his head, "Nope. We are  _ not _ talking about how you think Damien does things in bed. Seriously, no. I don't even want those types of thoughts in my head."

"Spoil sport!" Vicky sticks her tongue out.

"Come on Brian! Aren't you even a bit curious? I bet Damien's super-"

"No," Brian cuts Amira off, "No. No, no, no, no, no, no,  _ no. _ We are changing the… oh… Zoe's coming over here."

Vicky and Amira quickly follow Brian's gaze, and sure enough, Zoe is racing across the school grounds directly towards them. It's nothing that unusual considering people drop in on Amira, Vicky, and Brian all the time for no reason. For some reason it's even less weird that the eldritch being of insanity is in her gym uniform for some reason. When did strange things start to become normal? Oh yeah, the moment they all stepped into monster high.

"Huh, guess the universe answered your prayer for a change of subject," Amira comments dryly.

"Hey Zoe!" Instead of adding to Amira's snark, Vicky chooses to greet her friend.

" **YOU** !" Zoe doesn't replicate Vicky's warm hello, " **WHAT DID YOU DO** !"

"...That doesn't sound good," Brian blanches.

"If we make a run for it do you think we'll make it?" Amira turns to Brian partly concerned.

"Maybe, but I wouldn't try it," Brian frowns as Zoe gets closer.

"Which one of us pissed her off?" Vicky scoots away from both her friends, "It wasn't me."

"I haven't seen her since… like… last week," Amira looks thoughtful, "So… it's not me. What about you Brian?"

"I got nothing," Brian shakes his head.

"Well fuck," Amira curses as Zoe stops sprinting to start stomping.

"Which one of you gave Oz terrible love advice?!" Zoe scowls.

"What?" All three monsters ask at once in complete shock.

"Which one of you gave Oz terrible love advice about Damien?!" Zoe raises her voice.

Amira, Vicky, and Brian share a glance. Zoe already knows about Oz's crush it seems, so telling her what they said shouldn't be that harmful. Plus, none of them really want to deny Zoe answers when she's practically foaming at the mouth with rage. Considering all this the only logical explanation is to come clean together.

"It was Amira," Vicky says without a bit of hesitance or a single break in her voice.

...Or they could throw one another under the bus.

"WHAT?!" Amira shrieks, "I did not! We all talked to him together!"

"So you  _ are _ the ones who gave Oz some type of horrible advice!" Zoe somehow manages to sound accusing and self congratulatory at the same time.

"Great going Amira," Vicky grumbles.

Amira turns to Vicky, offended, "I am not taking one for the team!"

Ignoring his friends arguing, Brian addresses Zoe's question, "Which advice are you talking about? We did give him a lot."

"I want to know what you said to Oz that made him think of asking Damien about how to ask out his very fake non-Damien crush!" Zoe damands loudly.

"Hold on a damn second," Amira stops squabbling with Vicky to turn to Zoe and squint suspiciously, "Why do you want to know?"

"Why do I- WHY DO I WANT TO KNOW?!" Zoe yells heatedly, "I WANT TO KNOW BECAUSE WE'VE GOT BROKEN HEARTED DEMON ON OUR HANDS BECAUSE OF WHATEVER STUPID THING YOU TOLD OZ TO DO!"

"Broken… hearted?" Vicky's eyebrows are furrowed, "Why's Damien broken hearted?"

"Oh, I don't know," Zoe says sarcastically, "Maybe it's the fact his grand confession got interrupted by Oz asking how to ask out his still very fake crush!" 

"Damien was going to ask Oz out?!" Amira looks shocked.

"Oh…" Brian's face lights up with realization, "...no."

"And you-" Vicky turns to Amira, "YOU TOLD OZ TO ASK DAMIEN HOW TO ASK SOMEONE OUT! 

"Shit, what have we done?" Amira frowns.

"You messed up the circle of love, that's what!" Zoe huffs, "Now, so help me we're going to figure out how to make this right or I will retire my title as Spooky High's official love guru!"

As Zoe starts brainstorming ways to fix this, she doesn't face any resistance from the three monsters who are still coming to terms with the fact they fucked up bigtime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After last chapter, I could tell everyone was a little teensy winsy bit hurting for out favorite hellboy Damien LaVey. Because of this, I just wanted to clarify that things have to get bad before they can be good, and we haven't even hit rock bottom yet.


	48. I just want to forget... pt. 2/3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oz is ignorant of the crap going on around him, Zoe and the loser gang is trying to fix their mistakes, and a certain third party gets an oppertunity to do something she never thought she'd have the chance to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you get angry or sad, check out this amazing fanart by Alwaysd2 on tumblr. Show them some love! ❤
> 
> https://alwaysd2.tumblr.com/post/637149578280452096/the-other-phobias-instantly-declare-their

Oz is nervous. That isn't very surprising considering what he's thinking about, but it's important that these feelings are properly noted because of why Oz feels this way. He's nervous because tonight is Zoe's game night and he's got a time limit that's slowly descending upon him. A time limit that dictates Oz has to tell Damien how he feels before tonight. If he wants to be really dramatic about it he could say tonight at midnight, but that seems a little over the top.

Oz hates to be cutting things so close, but it's not his fault how the situation turned out. After Oz subtly questioned Damien on how he'd like to be asked out, the demon immediately had to leave to do something with his parents for a couple of days. Well, Damien didn't say he was doing something with his parents, but considering what he said before he left the roof a couple nights ago and Vera's explanation for Oz not getting any answers to his texts, it's a safe assumption to make. At least, that's what Oz tells himself, because the idea of Damien just ignoring him to ignore him is unlikely, but lingers in the back of Oz's mind all the same like a virus trying to deter him from being happy.

Lucky for Oz, Damien showed back up at school the day before the weekend hit. Oz didn't actually get to see the demon when he came back, but it's fine. (Oz refuses to acknowledge the pang of hurt that forms when Damien didn't tell him he was back and he had to find out from Zoe) Oz might not have got to ask Damien about why he was gone in person, but the prince of Hell did finally start answering his texts. 

Damien says his absence was just because he was busy fucking around in Hell and that he wouldn't be able to see Oz because his parents were forcing him to make up the work he missed while gone. The incarnation accepted this easily, not thinking about the fact the demon seemed to be avoiding him in real life despite talking to everyone else all the same and the fact Damien's dads have  _ never  _ made him do makeup work before. Blind belief is still better than crippling depression.

Now though, it's Saturday and Oz has to decide how he's going to play this. He's got a basic outline of how he wants this to go. It's all based on Damien's, admittedly vague, response to the question of how he'd like to get asked out.

_ "Well, I guess I'd say yes as long as I knew they were being sincere. I might be an asshole sometimes- _ " Oz remembers Damien's exact words and can't help thinking that the demon's definitely not an asshole in Oz's perspective. Then again, Oz is biased, _ "-but I'd have a hard time saying no to them if I knew they were actually going to be heartbroken if I said no. _ "

It wasn't much to go by, but it's just enough to give Oz the extra push he needs. Sincerity is probably the one thing other than anxiety that Oz can offer up in troves, so he's covered on that front. As for the part about really wanting to date Damien… well, Oz thinks he's proven that he really likes the demon already. 

Still, none of this has to do with Oz's plan. It's not really complicated or special really. Oz just wants to meet up with Damien like normal and tell him how he feels. What happens from there on is completely up to Damien and how he feels about the whole thing. Oz kinda wanted to do something more romantic and special, but he has a feeling if he adds any more variables into this emotional dump, then he'll just be more likely to fail. 

Oz is standing in his kitchen staring at his phone on the nearby counter. All it'll take to get the ball rolling is for Oz to pick up the device and text Damien a simple request. All the incarnation of fear has to do is ask Damien if he wants to meet up at the school together. It might seem like a strange place to ask someone on a date, but Oz chose it more for himself than anything else. The football team has practice this Saturday and Vicky, Brian, and Amira will be there. If things do go horribly wrong and Damien decides to hate him for life, at least Oz will have friends nearby to soften the blow.

None of these thoughts help Oz pick up the phone sitting innocently on the counter though. In fact, if these thoughts are doing anything it's the exact opposite. Oz takes a deep breath. The first step is always the hardest, isn't it? All Oz has to do is take this first step and then everything else will happen naturally, or at least that's what he keeps telling himself.

Oz stares at the phone for another five minutes without doing anything… then another ten… then another five… then another seven… then-

Philophobia shriek squeaks from Oz's shoulder and startles Oz so much he actually flinches. Oz doesn't even have to look at the phobia to know what's coming next.

Philophobia complains to Oz about how although he might not be able to help much in the romance department, even he knows that setting around doing nothing won't help.

"I know, b-but it's just…" Oz trails off nervously as his nerves flare.

Philophobia sighs and moves out of the way for Pediophobia. Pediophobia starts off on a very long winded speech about how life is always spontaneous and if Oz doesn't cease his moment he'll regret it for the rest of his life, which is a long time to regret something. Pediophobia also touches on many other topics like the fleeting of youth, the glory of finding someone who truly loves you, and the fact that Oz is totally a catch and Damien won't say no because he already knows that.

"Wow, you… y-you guys all really… You really think I can do this?" Oz is touched, but his thoughts won't allow him to not second guess them.

Without Oz's permission, dozens of phobias pipe up with words of encouragement, compliments, and assurances. It's easy to say that by the time the inklings calmed down Oz was flustered beyond belief.

"O-Okay! I get it!" Oz hides his blush in his hands, "You all think I'm pretty awesome and all that…"

Knowing that their message has been made clear, each of the phobias goes back into the together. Oz can feel as each one of them fades, but despite them leaving, Oz's confidence stays. 

Oz walks the rest of the way to the counter in the kitchen and picks up his phone. Steadily, Oz types in his passcode, pulls up his messages, and starts to type. Despite his tiny companions' reassurances, Oz still takes an abnormal amount of time trying to figure out what to type because of his anxiety. Oz doesn't want to seem desperate, but he also doesn't want to seem too casual. In the end, Oz just sticks to being basic while noting that he really needs to ask Damien to change his chat name.

**FUCKINGNOOB:** Hey Dames! Vicky, Amira, and Brian are gonna be at football practice this afternoon. Do you want to keep me company while Vicky ropes Amira into doing something stupid? If you're lucky, Vicky might finally let you use one of her glitter cannons. 😊

Oz's thumb is hovering over the send button when he pauses and second guesses himself. The incarnation of fear reads over his text again. 

Should he stick to calling Damien by his full name instead of his nickname to make sure the demon takes him seriously? Does the name even matter? Should he actually mention Brian in the text? The zombie is part of the football team so him being there is implied. What about the fact he offered the idea of watching Vicky and Amira goof? Would Damien be disappointed if he finds out that's not actually why Oz invited him? Wait, is bringing up Vicky's cannon a good or bad thing?! Shit, is the emoji too much?! Should Oz get rid of it entirely or change it to something more fitting? What would be more fitting?

As Oz ropes himself into yet another bout of self doubt and anxiety, a certain feline stalks forward from the counter. Crouched low to the ground, Dorothy sneaks towards Oz, who is way too distracted to notice the alien get closer. Once she's directly across from her owner, Dorothy haunches rise as she prepares to pounce. Her tail sways just a little before the small creature is sailing through the air towards Oz.

In a split second, tentacles flash out, and Oz is no longer holding his phone. Instead, Oz is holding a very innocent looking red haired cat. It's easy to say Oz has to take a moment to process what just happened.

"Dorothy?" Oz stares down at the cat in his arms, "What did you- D-Did you just eat my phone???"

The cat in Oz's arms purrs smoothly before staring up coyly with a tilt of her head, "Meow?"

"D-Dorothy! I need my phone! It's really important!" Oz tries to reason with the alien in his arms, 75% sure she understands him on some level.

"Meow," Somehow, despite the language and species barrier between the two, Oz can tell his cat is being a prick.

"Dorothy! I've let you eat my literal couch before. The only thing I ask you not to inhale for long periods of time is my cell phone!" Oz decides to start pleading, "If I rub your belly will you give me my phone back? If that's not what you want I'll give you some of your favorite cat treats? What about Zoe? I can take you to see Zoe? What will it take for you to give me my stuff back?"

Suddenly, Dorothy starts to wiggle in Oz's arms and Oz takes it as a sign she wants down. Thinking about his cat's wants instead of the fact she can teleport away at any moment, Oz sets Dorothy down. The moment her little feet touch the tile of the kitchen, disappears in a tangle of tentacles and massive appendages. Oz stares at the spot where his cat was moments ago as dread pools in his gut. 

"Dorothy?! Dorothy?!" There's no response or alien cat flerken thing.

"Okay this is fine," Oz says to himself to keep from hyperventilating, "Everything's fine. I can fix this. This can be fixed. Nothing's wrong, nothing's wrong, nothing is wrong."

It might have been minutes or hours, but miraculously, Oz talks himself down from having a panic attack, a testament to the fact he's gotten better control of himself and his anxiety.

Gathering his thoughts, Oz starts to think about how he can fix this. Oz doesn't have his phone. That's fine. Oz knows Damien's number by heart and all kinds of people have phone's. This'll make things a little more awkward, but it'll also provide a nice icebreaker before Oz breaks his news to Damien at the school. The demon always had a soft spot for Dorothy's more mischievous escapades. Oz sighs. There's a silver lining to everything 

Oz mentally notes all of his friends that know about his crush and starts to decide which one to ask for help. However, Oz doesn't get far into his evaluations when Dorothy appears back in the kitchen counter with a meow and a pop from filling empty air. Oz jumps up (When did he start sitting on the floor?) and rushes to his cat.

"Dorothy? Dorothy?! Can you please give me my phone back?" Oz tries again, just because he's desperate for things to go right and any new variable he hasn't accounted for has a chance of ruining everything for him.

Dorothy just stares at Oz for a moment before licking her paw and rubbing her ear. Oz sighs, knowing he's going back to plan B. Yet again though, Oz doesn't get much time to think over his plan before Dorothy interrupts him again. This time, instead of disappearing, the flerken starts hacking horribly as if coughing up a hairball. The hacking goes on for about thirty seconds before Oz starts getting really concerned.

"Dorothy? Are you alright girl?" Oz steps forward to see what's wrong only to jump back in surprise when a mass of tentacles larger than before burst out to reveal none other than, "Zoe? Brain? Vicky? Amira? What are you doing here? Did Dorothy eat you?! Dorothy! You're not allowed to eat people! We talked about this!"

Oz momentarily pushes his troubles to the back of his mind to confront this new problem. Dorothy levels Oz with a blank gaze before strolling away from the kitchen to go about her normal catty activities.

When Oz turns back to his unexpected guests he notices two things right off the bat. One, they all seem perfectly calm after Dorothy snatched them and brought them, and two, they are all staring at Oz.

"Uhhh…" What does one say in a situation like this?

"Oz!" Zoe takes the initiative to make the first move in this weird situation and surges forward and wraps Oz in a hug, "I read the text you were about to send Damien on your phone!"

"What? How did you see my phone?" Oz is confused. How in the ever loving world did Zoe get his phone from Dorothy? The feline has only had it for two minutes! There's no way the flerken just coughed it up the moment she saw Zoe… right?

"Umm, I saw it because I have it! Duh," Zoe jumps back, putting Oz at arms length while waving his phone around willy nilly.

"How did you  _ get _ it?" Is Oz's immediate next question.

"Dorothy obviously," Zoe rolls her eyes and stops throwing her arms around crazily and in consequence leaves Oz's phone stationary, "She's very smart, but you know that. All I had to do to convince her to steal it for me if necessary was offer her a logical explanation of why, a couple of treats, and a reminder of which one of us lets her get away with the most."

"You trained my cat alien to steal my phone for you," Oz says, shellshocked, before repeating again so his brain can comprehend what he just said, " _ You _ trained  _ my _ alien cat to steal my phone. Why? How?  _ Why? _ "

"I already told you how I did it, so I'll skip to why," Zoe thrusts Oz's phone in his face and shows him the screen.

With a bit of mortification, Oz realizes that the text he was about to send Damien is still pulled up, and while yes, the text is innocent and non incriminating at first glance, Zoe knows Oz too well to not understand why he was sending it today of all times. Oz turns his gaze to his other friends who are standing behind Zoe looking amused. Great, there's no morale support coming from them anytime soon. 

When Oz focuses his gaze back on Zoe and gets confronted with a shiteating grin, he knows he's right about Zoe figured out why Oz was sending a text to meet up with Damien, "You're finally going to confess to Damien!"

Now, most people would brush off Zoe's assumption easily. After all, Zoe's claim barely has anything to support it. At this point, any normal person with even a third more emotional stability than Oz would say something about them just wanting to hang out with a friend or how they got bored. Oz though, oh poor dear Oz, he turns a shade of red that hurts the naked eye and stutters out denials like no tomorrow.

"W-W-What?! No! I'm n-not- That doesn't- You d-don't-" No matter how many times Oz tries to finish his thought, he ends up breaking off into a stutter so bad he has to restart.

"Don't lie to me Oz. I know you too well," Zoe displays the most mercy possible by voluntarily putting Oz out of his stammering prison.

"I- I- You can't prove anything!" Oz finally settles on, despite knowing how petulant and weak the protest is.

"Yes, I actually can," Zoe sends Oz the smug smirk to end all smug smirks as she throws a finger in the direction of Oz's other three friends. 

Having been put on the spot, Vicky decides to be the one to explain what Zoe means before Brian and Amira can, "We uh… kinda sorta maybe told Zoe about our little heart to heart and how you planned on confessing to Damien out after you talked to him about how he'd like to be asked out."

"WHAT?!" Oz yelps louder than normal.

"In our defence it was for a good reason!" Amira jumps in, "Like, a really good reason!"

"What reason?!" Oz realizes how loud he was moments ago and decreases his volume drastically in response.

"You have a terrifying pseudo-sister," Brian deadpans and Oz turns back to Zoe with absolute exasperation.

"Did you threaten my friends?" 

"Nope, maybe, you'll never know!" Zoe blurts out quickly before continuing and not letting Oz respond, "Anyways, now that we're on the same page. I'd like to tell you your friend's advice was crap and that you should never have gone to them for advice over me! You see, if you put me in charge of your love life, I would have seem this stupid misunderstanding trope from a mile away!"

"Wha- My friend's advice wasn't bad! It helped me figure out how to tell Damien I like him!" Oz forgets he was denying this fact moments earlier in favor of defending his friends' advice. His friends, who look oddly uncomfortable at the current topic.

"Of course it was!" Zoe replies astutely, "It was the worst advice they ever could have given you considering the circumstances!"

"Circumstances?" Oz parrots, only getting more and more puzzled.

"Don't ask," Brian deadpans, "We can't tell you."

That definitely doesn't light up all of Oz's nerves at once. Nope, he refuses to admit that thoss words from his friends send dread and foreboding straight to Oz's nonexistent gut.

"Don't say it like that!" Vicky scolds Brian, obviously seeing how on edge the wording set Oz, "That makes us seem ominous and creepy! We're just not telling Oz for his own good!"

"Like that's a better way to phrase things?" Amira rolls her eyes at Vicky, "Y'know, I think I prefer sounding creepy to sounding like somebody's mom."

"Hey! I do not sound like-"

"Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shhhh!" Zoe rushes over to Vicky and Amira shooshes them, "There's no time for chatter! We've gotta do what we came here for!"

"What you came here for?" Oz's eyes widen when he realizes the insinuation behind such a claim, "Wait, you somehow got Dorothy to bring you here too! How did you get Dorothy to act like your taxi? Actually, I think I know the answer to that one since Dorothy apparently takes bribes. The better question is why were you all prepared to break into my house for some reason using a flerken as a vehicle!?"

"Zoe roped us into helping her set you up with Damien without further complications," Amira shrugs and smiles as if that's a good answer.

"She also threatened to ban us from her game night if we didn't at least back her up on convincing you," Brian explains monotone.

"Convince me of what?" Oz asks, instantly regretting it when Zoe's smile somehow gets bigger.

"I wanted to get you to confess to Damien today!" Zoe laughs joyously, "Of course, I don't think I actually need to do any of that considering what you were just about to do before Dorothy took action for me!"

"Wait, how  _ did _ Dorothy know to steal my phone!?" Oz exclaims loudly, "You didn't know I was texting Damien to confess!"

The question barely phases Zoe, as she shrugs innocently and ignorantly, "I don't know. That wasn't a part of the plan. I guess Dorothy's just extra smart and figured out that if you finished doing what you were about to do, my plan would be done for."

"As crazy as it sounds, Zoe's telling the truth," Brian adds to the end of the eldritch abomination's statement.

Vicky nods along with Brian, "We weren't planning on ambushing you until ten."

"See? I'm being honest here!" Zoe gives Oz a pointed look despite the incarnation of fear never getting a chance to actually say what he thought about her statement.

Skipping the part where he antagonizes Zoe into another round of banter, Oz gets to the point, "What plan are you all referencing?"

Amira, Brian, Vicky, and Zoe fall silent and act bashful so quickly it would almost be funny if Oz wasn't so very desperate for answers. Oz doesn't let himself feel bad for even a moment as he quickly clears his throat, a gesture that suggests he wanted an answer fast.

"Well?" Oz prompts.

Zoe straightens up quickly and pockets Oz's phone, a movement the owner of said phone notices with a suspicious glance, "Our plan actually isn't that different than yours actually. We just want to send Damien a text to meet you and then let you do most of the work."

Oz's eyebrows furrow in confusion, "Then why did you say me texting Damien would ruin your plan?"

If Amira, Vicky, and Brian looked sheepish moments ago, now they look downright uncomfortable. Something Oz takes quick and nervous noting of when he glances at the three. 

Zoe follows the glance and practically glares before turning back to Oz and answering his question, "Because you're friends gave you the worst advice possible considering the circumstances."

"You already said that," Oz continues to stay completely drowned in puzzlement, "What kind of circumstances are you talking about?"

Zoe laughs happily as if a great joke was just told, "Don't worry about it! They aren't anything I can't fix!"

"T-That doesn't make me feel better," Oz takes a step back.

"Look Oz, all you need to know, is that I have everything planned out and nothing is gonna go wrong," Zoe places her regular hand and tentacle arm on Oz's shoulders, "If ever there was a time for you to trust me and your friends, please let it be right now. We know what we're doing and we just want you to let us help."

Oz is incredibly conflicted because as much as he wants to say yes to his friends offered help, his brain supplies all the times Zoe's plans have gone off the rails, the Dmitri and Prince situation being at the forefront of these thoughts. On the other hand though, all those hair brain plans were created by Zoe. With Brian, Amira, and Vicky reining her in, they might have come up with a solid plan. Plus, they all know something Oz doesn't. A certain something that can apparently ruin Oz's original plan of action.

In the end, logic isn't what convinces Oz to let his friends tell him what to do. Instead it's all of their hopeful gazes. Whatever the strategy is, they all believe it'll work and want to help Oz desperately. Oz sighs. How can he say no to this when he's gone through with even crazier ideas than this before?

"F-Fine. I'll trust you guys," Oz submits to his friends wishes despite most logic telling him to do otherwise.

"Yes! I knew you'd see reason!" Zoe rushes forward and hugs Oz again. This time, Oz returns the embrace, although hesitantly.

"Oh thank Jesus," Amira sighs out gratefully as she leans over and sets her hands on her knees, "I thought you were gonna say no and we were going to have to deal with the fact we fucked up your lovelife bigtime."

"Pft, I knew Oz would trust us! We're his best friends for life!" Vicky laughs confidently.

Amira stands up and sends Vicky a glare, "Oh really? That's not what you were saying approximately thirty minutes ago when you thought there was no way we could convince Oz to ask Damien out today."

"I did not say that!" Vicky grabs Brian's jacket arm and shakes it, "Tell then Brian! I did not say anything of the sort!"

Ignoring Vicky, Brian holds eye contact with Oz, "I figured we had a fifty-fifty chance you'd let us help."

"You too!" Vicky lets go of Brian's arms like it's covered in something disgusting and steps back to start pointing, "Naysayers, the whole lot of you! Damn naysayers!"

Zoe lets go of Oz to turn to Vicky, "Hey! I'm not a naysayer am I?"

Vicky stops pointing to shake her head at Zoe, "No. You're fine. Ignore me and keep hugging your brother. I'm just gonna keep guilt tripping these guys for a minute."

"You sure? We can stop hugging now if you want my help. I'm not against some good old guilt tripping," Zoe tilts her head to the side imploringly.

Vicky looks thoughtful for a second before she shakes her head, "No, I'm good."

"Okay then," Zoe shrugs before turning back and hugging Oz.

The incarnation of fear can't help it at this point. He busts out laughing. Amira and Brian aren't far behind Oz. Vicky and Zoe just stopping and goofing off in such a serious predicament was just the thing Oz needed to relax a little. Soon enough, Zoe and Vicky join in the fun and the whole house is filled with sounds of amusement. Then next, Oz doesn't really know how it happened, but they all started hugging. Even a bunch of Oz's phobias come out and join in the group hug, happily squeaking and bouncing around. For just a moment, Oz forgets about what comes next and just relaxes.

However, the eye of the hurricane does have to pass eventually, and Oz is thrown right back into the fray of planning and getting instructed. Everyone backs out of Oz's space and Zoe gets right down to business.

"Okay, here's the plan," Zoe starts seriously, "You can't text Damien or let him know he's coming to see you."

"W-What?" Despite Oz's instinctual aversion towards the idea, he decided to trust Zoe's judgement and listen to whatever she says. That doesn't mean he can't ask questions though, "Why?"

Everyone other than Oz shares a look and he knows he's not going to get a real answer to this question. Zoe proves Oz's assumptions when she awkwardly turns to Oz and shakes her head.

"Someone else's secret to tell, plus, it's just better if you don't know. You're gonna have to trust us," Zoe tries to sound dismissive, but even Oz can tell she's a little nervous about Oz's response. Which, yeah, it is understandable considering her plan relies solely on Oz's trust.

"...Okay then. No letting Damien find out he's meeting with me until he gets there," Oz nods, purposefully not addressing the looks of relief passing over his friends' features, "How do we do that? I mean, we can't use my phone then. Are you going to use yours?"

The monsters present all share another glance and Oz takes it as a resounding no. 

"Vicky, Brian, and I won't probably get Damien's attention enough for him to come where we ask," Amira grimaces as she looks at Oz, "He also doesn't really want to see us right now for complex… reasons."

Oz doesn't pick up on the tense atmosphere at Amira's words or the glare the others send in the fire djinn's direction. Zoe quickly speaks up to keep Oz from noticing.

"Yeah Amira's right," Zoe nods quickly, "And I'm also no good for calling because Damien doesn't really trust me that much. He  _ may _ come if I ask, but he most likely wouldn't. Since we aren't dealing with mights and maybes though, we all came up with a much better way to lure Damien out of his hiding."

"Lure out of hiding?" Oz snorts with a raised eyebrow, "That's an odd way to phrase things."

"Eh, I think it's pretty apt for what's going on," Zoe laughs awkwardly as Vicky winces.

Although Zoe seems done explaining, Oz does still have questions about this part of the plan, "If we can't use any of your phones, whose are we going to use?"

Just like that, the tension that was heavy in the air lifts as both Vicky and Amira sigh while Zoe grins like the cat that killed the canary. 

"Let's just say one of my cultists hasn't been listening to the rules we laid out for him, and I'm fine with chancing his… welfare by using his mobile device in this situation," Zoe continues to smile despite the aura of threat coming to life around her.

"There was a deer heart in her locker, wasn't there?" Oz directs the question to Brian with amusement.

Brian looks surprised, but nods, "Uh, yeah. It was a deer heart. How'd you know?"

"She has a thing about them," Oz can't even describe how much easier to talk about how he's going to confess to Damien when his friends are here to make things less nerve wracking.

"They're just so… ugh!" Zoe makes a grossed out face, "They're so big and nobody ever cleans them right so they get everything dirty. Oh, but the worst part is that they taste so terrible! Bleh! They're chewy and taste like grass and meat at the same time somehow!"

Oz doesn't find the consumption of raw meat and animal parts weird considering all the other things he's heard of Zoe doing in her time of being ruler of the dark dimension, but Amira and Vicky obviously don't think the same way considering how ill they look. Brian looks unphased for… obvious reasons.

However Amira does look morbidly intrigued despite also being a little green around the gills where Vicky is not, "You eat those?"

"What? No! Why would I eat them if I don't like the taste?" Zoe looks at Amira like she asked a stupid question, "Anywho, I'll use they're phone to send Damien a text as long as you tell us where you want to meet."

"Okay…" Oz nods and thinks a moment. His friends' new additions to his original course of action might have changed a few things, but Oz doesn't see why it should affect the location, "I'll just meet up with him at the back of the school."

"The school?" Amira raises an eyebrow, "Why there? I mean, Zoe let us all read the text so I'm assuming you already planned to do your thing there, but why? Spooky High isn't the most romantic getaway location to confess."

Vicky nods along with her fiery friend in agreement as her eyes fill with stars, "Yeah! Why not go for some good atmosphere! Like at a pretty park or under a cherry tree. Wait a moment! Damien has teleportation just like you! You could go to PARIS!"

"Vicky," Brian levels the Frankenstein's monster with a warning glare, "This is Oz's choice. No taking over. If Zoe can hold herself back then you can too." 

"Hmph. Fine," Vicky visibly deflates, but she doesn't pout so that's a win, "I still want to know why you chose the school though! It's so boring!"

"W-Well it's mostly like Amira suggested earlier. That's where I was planning on doing things in the first place and want to stick to at least some of what I had planned," The next part said is quieter, "I-I, uh, also kinda wanted you guys to be around if I mess up or get too nervous to go through with it."

Because of Oz practically whispering his words, none of the monsters present hear him… except Zoe. The eldritch abomination throws her arms around Oz's neck yet again and starts cooing.

"Awww, Oz! You're such a sweet dork!" Zoe laughs.

"Uh, sorry to not be wrapped up in this moment or whatever, but none of us heard what Oz said," Brian speaks up for himself Amira and Vicky, "We don't have super hearing if you remember."

Zoe's gaze snaps to Brian while smiling, "Oh, you didn't miss anything  _ that _ important! Oz only said something about having us around because he wants us to be there for him if stuff goes wrong."

"Aww!" Oz puts his head in hands when Vicky has the same exact reaction as Zoe from moments earlier, "I knew you loved us no matter how much we annoy you!"

Lucky for Oz, before Vicky can copy Zoe completely and start another group hug, Amira stops her. Brian just stands back and shakes his head fondly at the silly scene in front of him. 

"Woah there Vick. Don't you go starting another hug sesh," Amira ignores Vicky's pout and continues, "If you ever want to find out what kind of boyfriend Damien is in bed, you actually have to let Oz get around to dating the damn demon."

It's almost funny how quickly both Amira and Oz whip their heads in Amira's direction with similar expressions of mortification. Zoe lets go of Oz to try and not pass out from holding in her laughter. Brian continues to be an observer to the show from a few feet away.

"What?!" Oz's words come out a wheeze and gasp at the same time.

"I just asked if you thought he was kinky!" Vicky shouts at Amira in denial.

"W-What?!" Oz turns an unholy shade of red again.

"As much as I've wondered the exact same thing for my fan fics and such, I suggest that we change the topic before Oz has a heart attack," Zoe gestures to Oz who looks about one light touch away from falling over.

"Agreed," Brian chuckles, "How about we get back to the dating bit before we're out of time and Oz has to ask Damien out in the middle of game night."

"Like he'll show up," Amira snorts, earning glares from Zoe and Vicky.

"Why wouldn't Damien show up to game night?" Zoe somehow managed to calm down Oz enough that he's not cherry red and freaking out anymore. Which actually isn't a good thing considering Amira doesn't know when to shut her trap.

"Whether Damien comes or not isn't important," Zoe laughs quickly as she pulls out the phone she stole, the cultist one not Oz's, and taps away at the screen, "Come her  _ Amira.  _ You can help me figure out how to get Damien where we want him."

Amira gulps at the eldritch abomination saying her name like a curse before slowly getting close enough to look at the phone's screen. Zoe shifts away from Oz so he can't see what's being typed and Zoe cam whisper threats in the djinn's ear without Oz noticing if she almost spills the beans again. 

"Umm, what are you gonna tell Damien?" Oz asks nervously, "You're not going to threaten him or anything r-right?"

"What?! No! Of course not!" Zoe doesn't even look up from the phone as she answers, "I'm saving my threats for the shovel talk, and we don't get to the shovel talk until you two start dating so…"

"You don't need to put a period after or else," Amira tries to whisper, but without actually knowing how quiet she has to be to avoid Oz's hearing it's actually not hard for him to hear.

"Or else? What are you texting him about?" Oz is alarmed as he tries to sneak a peek at what Zoe's writing, "What are you telling Damien?"

"Hey, no looking! I'm not finished!" Zoe backs away from Oz and starts typing at double the pace.

"Please don't embarrass me," Oz tries to get a look yet again, but this time Amira gets in the way.

"Sorry Oz, but you can't see. It'll make things less easy," Amira looks serious so Oz backs off with a sigh.

"Please just don't embarrass me," Oz sighs in Zoe's direction, "I'm already risking embarrassing myself already. I don't need you adding to my future misery."

"Hey! Don't be so pessimistic! You can totally do this Oz! Damien is gonna be so lucky to have you!" Vicky takes her role as impromptu cheerleader seriously and begins to try and pep Oz up, "You've got this!"

"T-Thanks Vicky," Oz meekly nods at Vicky, who only looks proud to be doing her job as the team morale booster.

"Aaaaaaaand… SEND!" Zoe smiles and pockets her phone as she looks at Oz, "You now officially have a demon to court."

"Who uses the word court anymore?" Amira snorts.

"Uh, me, obviously," Zoe laughs.

Amira sends Zoe a very unimpressed look before shaking her head and muttering something along the line of, "Why am I friends with so many goddamn sarcastic people."

"Wait, you sent the text to Damien already? Can I read it now?" Oz asks with a hint of desperation.

"Sorry bud, but nope!" Zoe shrugs, "Sorry, but it's gotta be how it's gotta be."

"I figured as much," Oz sighs, "What time should I be there?"

"Oh, about a hour before practice starts," Amira shrugs, "Maybe a little later if Damien decides to be spitefully late."

Oz ignores the fact Damien might be spiteful about Zoe's text for some reason in favor of being completely gobsmacked, "A hour before?! That's like thirty minutes from now! Why would you make this so last second! Damien isn't even gonna show up!"

Brian and Vicky seem to be shocked by this news as well, Vicky more so than Brian, "Thirty minutes is all we have?! That is not enough time! Oz come on! You might not have anything in your closet, but I AM going to make you look like the most desirable monster alive."

"Nope, his closet is packed. I make him go shopping whenever I go shopping," Zoe laughs, "Oh, and if you really want to set Damien off I recommend the giant hoodie and skinny jeans."

Vicky's eyes light up as she grabs Oz and starts to tug him towards his room, "Oh my god, that's perfect! Damien will literally have a heart attack when he sees you Oz!"

"Damien's already seen me in my hoodie," Oz would be blushing if he actually understood how he looked in his own clothes. Instead of acting flustered, the incarnation of fear just furrows his eyebrows in confusion. Why did his clothes have to do with anything? Suddenly, another question hits Oz, "Wait, when did you get me skinny jeans?!"

Vicky and Zoe ignore Oz's question entirely to gasp in shock and instantly crowd him with questions. Amira and Brian just walk into the living room to leave poor Oz with the girls. 

"You wore the hoodie with Damien?! How did he react?!" Vicky damands.

"I-I uh, don't know?" Oz shuffles backwards, only for Zoe and Vicky to shuffle forward.

"Did he freak out?" Zoe insists despite anyways.

"Of course he did," Vicky giggles, "Oz is adorable normally. Him in a giant hoodie… I'm surprised Damien didn't just jump him right there!"

"W-WHAT?!" Oz is red… yet again.

"Are you kidding me?" Zoe scoffs, "Damien is totally a secret romantic. He probably wanted to marry Oz on the spot!"

"Guys…" Oz is now covering his face now.

"Sorry Oz, you're just so cute sometimes it feels like a crime not to mention," Vicky laughs, "When did this happen anyways?"

Finally, a question Oz can answer without being mortified, "T-The night before Damien left with his parents to do something."

The atmosphere shifts abruptly as both Vicky and Zoe grimace. They glance at each other and then Oz with a look that says they know something he doesn't, but just before Oz can ask what the dreg of fog lifts and Zoe and Vicky are back to being their bubbly selves.

"Okay, then. The hoodie's a no and I don't think Oz will let us stuff him into skinny jeans so…" Zoe turns to Vicky with an evil grin, "How about I show you all the stuff I made him buy?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Vicky laughs before both girls grab one of Oz's arms and drag him away.

"Can't I just wear what I have on?!" Is the last words Amira and Brian hear before Oz is dragged into a dress up party.

Thirty minutes later.

"Um, I hate to burst your bubble, but Oz looks exactly the same as before you kidnapped him to be your model," Amira looks Oz up and down, finding not a piece of his outfit is different from how he looked twenty minutes ago.

"We know," Vicky sighs, looking disappointed, "But after we tried to get him to try on a suit Oz refused to let us help anymore."

"You wanted Oz to wear a suit?" Brian raises an eyebrow mockingly from where he sits on the couch drinking soda, "Yeah, that would have been terrible."

"See?!" Oz turns to Vicky and Zoe with his hands thrown up into the air, "I told you a suit was too far!"

"But Oz," Zoe whines, "You looked so good in it! The red tie and tiny top hats for some of your phobias were adorable!"

"Wait a minute, you actually tried it on?" Amira pauses then frowns, "Double wait, why do you have a suit in the first place?"

"They wouldn't let me leave until I at least tried the thing on," Oz blanches.

"Okay? That answers my first question I guess," Amira frowns, "But why do you…"

Oz doesn't even say anything as he gestures towards Zoe jerkily, stopping Amira from talking by catching her attention. Instead of being embarrassed by the fact she apparently bought her brother an entire suit, Zoe puffs out her chest in pride.

"I secretly took Oz's measurements while we were living together then snuck the suit into his closet while he wasn't looking," Zoe smiles, "Oz looks amazing in it just like I expected."

"Well, jeez. Now I want to see Oz in a suit," Amira groans, crosses her arms, then falls backwards on the couch, "It's not fair that both of you got to see Oz in it and I didn't."

"...You were just talking about how glad you were that you weren't stuck with Zoe and Vicky," Brian pipes up, earning a glare from Amira.

"I did not say that!" Amira protests, "I just… commented on the fact I wouldn't have been much help."

"It's fine Amira, I know I can be annoying sometimes," Vicky laughs as she sits next to the fire djinn, "That's why, just to make up for all the times I piss you off. I got a very special picture of Oz in his suit just for you and Brian to remind you why you love me!"

"Wait, what."

Ignoring Oz, Vicky pulls out her phone, pulls up a picture, and starts showing it off, "Look at how awesome he looks!"

"Holy shit," Amira whistles, "You clean up nice Oz."

"I'm pretty impressed too," Brian leans forward to look at Zoe's phone before falling back onto the couch, "Hey Zoe, do you mind giving me the number for your tailor. I might just get in contact with them when prom rolls round."

Oz is hiding his face in his hands as Vicky continues to show off the picture of Oz she took. Amira laughs as Zoe pats Oz on the back reassuringly.

"A tailored suit?" Amira asks Brian disbelievingluly, "I never thought I'd see the day you'd dress up for anything. I pretty much imagined you going to your own wedding in a t-shirt that looks like a suit with jeans and sneakers."

"I can be classy," Brian rolls his eyes, soda can still in hand.

"Pft, more like that vampire of yours is conditioning you to start wearing nicer things instead of whatever you found on your floor that wasn't dirty," Amiea scoffs.

Instead of answering, Brian's ears dust pink as he sinks further into the couch and takes a long drink. Amira sends him a knowing look, before turning back to Zoe.

"Seriously though, Brian has the right idea," Amira shrugs, "I'll totally take your tailor's number if you're offering it."

"Same!" Vicky cheers.

"You can have it, Marrionette's talents are wasted if she doesn't actually have clients to put in orders," Zoe smiles, "...But, I'll give you the number  _ after  _ we get to football practice. Oz is about to be late after all."

"Oh fuck," Amira jumps up after she quickly checks her phone to find Zoe's right, "Come on Oz! We gotta get you hitched to the prince of Hell!"

"Yeah!" Vicky jumps up to, "I've got to meet Scott before practice to cheer him on!"

All at once, Amira, Vicky, and Zoe all crowd around Oz, waiting for their free ride. Oz almost asks why they can't just get Dorothy to take them considering Zoe's apparently trained the cat to bring her wherever she wants, but the smaller monster's anxiety keeps the quip from ever seeing the light of day. In fact, Oz is so nervous, that he doesn't even trust his own voice to just agree with his friends, so instead of talking, Oz just focuses and drops all his friends in the shadows before quickly following along.

Not a second later, and all four monsters are standing between the bleachers and the football field. Before anyone can even say anything though, there's a sudden shout from high up in the bleachers. 

"VICKY!" Nobody even has to wonder who the owner of that voice is. Scott was apparently sitting up at the top of the metal seats just waiting for practice to start… or Vicky to arrive.

"Scott!" Vicky turns away from Oz and the rest like they never existed in the first place to run over to her werewolf crush, "Are you ready to be amazing out there?!"

"Only if you're ready to be my favourite cheerleader!" Scott laughs loudly, causing a couple glares from the actual cheer squad to get directed in Vicky's direction.

"HEYYY THERE VICKY!" Coach pops up out of nowhere to smile at the Frankenstein's monster. Ever since Vicky switched her after practice snacks to contain energy drinks and tons of protein powder, the weretiger has warmed up to Vicky substantially, "Are you here to watch practice again?!"

"Of course!" Vicky smiles happily, "I haven't missed any yet, and I plan on keeping it like that!"

"Ha!" Coach booms jubilantly as he pats Vicky on the back, "Of course, you don't do anything half way do you young lady?"

"I try not to!" Vicky turns back to Scott only to see the rest of the wolfpack waiting to greet her as well, "Hey guys, who's ready to play hard!"

"Me, Vicky, me! I'm gonna throw the ball so far it hits the Sun!" After the first member of the wolfpack speaks up, all the others start to try and one up each other, "I'll send it to another galaxy! I'll send it to another dimension! I'll send it through the heart of the other team's captain!"

In a few seconds flat, each member of the pack is bickering with the other in the hopes of impressing Vicky the most. Yeah, pretty much all the members of the football team love Vicky to death and would literally die for her. Scott stands a few feet away, pouting for reasons unknown.

As Zoe gets dragged into the weekly chaos known as football practice, Brian turns to Oz and gives his shoulder a light squeeze, "I gotta go make sure those meatheads don't actually try to kick the ball to the moon. Sweep Damien off his feet for me."

"O-Okay," Oz has a blush staining his face at this point, and he's sure the flush isn't going to fade until long after this is all over.

Brian sends Oz an amused glance and nod before he turns away and heads over to Kale, who is standing back from Vicky, Scott, and the wolfpack to just watch how things play out. The plant person offers Brian some type of greeting before the two of them head towards the locker room to put on their padding.

Amira's the next one to make her departure, a very brief one at that, "Well, I'm gonna go antagonize the cheer team. Knock em' dead Oz, you got this!"

With those inspiring words, the fire djinn struts off towards the cheerleaders just like she announced by immediately insulting them, "Hey girls! How are cheers coming along? I bet they're pretty awesome even if they  _ don't _ include glitter cannons and sound like first grader's poetry!"

Oz tunes Amira out when the cheer squad replies with multiple protests and murmured insults full of profanities. The only person left to console him about the coming event is Zoe. 

"Hey Oz," The monster in question jerks his head towards Zoe so fast a normal person would have probably snapped their own neck.

"U-Um, y-yeah?" Oz twiddles his thumbs as Zoe readies herself to say her bit.

"I could go on and on about how I think Damien would be an idiot to reject you, but I have a feeling I've told you that enough in the past few days," Oz looks surprised as Zoe continues, "You've heard enough about how you being nervous is stupid. I just want to tell you that you can do this Oz. As your friend, and self proclaimed little sister from another mister, I know you can do this! You're the smartest, sweetest, most powerful person I know, and I want you to know that no matter what happens in the next hour, I'll be proud of you. If you can get me out of the totem prison I was stuck in for eons, then you can do this."

"Zoe…" Oz says tenderly, "You're the amazing one. I don't think I would have ever been able to say anything if it hadn't been for your pushing."

"You better remember that the next time I drag you into a jam!" Zoe rushes forward and tugs Oz into a tight hug. Both monsters stay tightly embraced for a few seconds before Zoe's the one to step back with a laugh, "Now, you go get yourself a piece of Damien LaVey! I'll be busy trying to get Scott to fall deeper in love with Vicky! Good Luck, bye!"

With those parting words, Zoe rushes away to watch one of her favorite couples from. With Oz looking to finally get himself a functioning love life, Zoe’s also probably looking for a new pet project. Oz doesn’t doubt for a second that Zoe might leave him alone if he actually manages to score a date with Damien, but at least she’ll hopefully stop meddling. 

With all his friends gone, Oz is left with his thoughts and the engulfing knowledge of what he’s about to attempt. Oh, and don’t forget the crippling anxiety that’s slowly ceasing Oz’s chest because that’s a very important thing that should not be forgotten. Against all of Oz’s better judgement and self-control he lets the tide of worries wash over him.

Is he actually going to do this and risk embarrassing himself completely? How can he just tell Damien he likes him and then ask to go out with him? Oz doesn’t have that type of confidence. What if Oz messes up big time and ends up just stuttering up a storm until Damien takes pity on him and leaves? Was he even doing this confession thing right? Vicky said something about the school not being romantic, but does that really matter when Oz doesn’t know what Damien’s answer will be. Oh god. Oz is literally going to throw up, or he would if he actually could.

As Oz spirals down into the depths of his own mind, a tiny squeak from one of his phobias pulls him out of the deep cacophony by repeating Zoe’s earlier words. Oz slows his breathing before carefully beginning to monitor it. Closing his eyes, Oz forces himself to think positively. 

_ “...I know you can do this!” _

If Zoe thinks Oz can do this, then the least Oz can do is suck it up and try. 

Opening his eyes, Oz turns to his right shoulder to see Philophobia looking at him with concern. The tiny inkling asks if Oz is alright with a meek high-pitched whine and a tilted head. Oz stares at the creature for a moment before sighing.

“Honestly? No,” Philophobia’s head ducks at Oz’s words in thought before looking back up as Oz continues, “...B-But, I’m gonna do this anyways. I-I just have to ask a question right? Everyone keeps saying that Damien’s guaranteed to like me back, s-so maybe, just for the next few minutes, I’ll believe that. If I keep thinking about that, I’m sure I can do this.”

Philophobia gives Oz a nod of confirmation before restating the fact that Oz has this handled and fading away. Oz stares at the empty place left behind by his phobia for a couple of seconds before letting out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding.

“I-I can do this,” Oz shakes his head and starts repeating the words under his breath like a mantra, “I can do this. I can do this. I  _ can  _ do this.”

While Oz hypes himself up, he doesn’t notice one of the cheerleaders break away from the quad and pass him towards the school without a parting glance in his direction. He also doesn't notice her sparkly hair and pissed glance back towards the bleachers at a confused Scott, a laughing Amira, and a glaring Vicky holding a G-cannon. Most importantly though, Oz doesn’t notice that the certain  _ succubus  _ is traveling towards the back of the school with a purpose. 

A few moments later (Once Avery is long gone) Oz finally manages to work up enough courage to venture towards the back of the school and the dead tree that’s planted there. The chattering of the football team fades into the distance as Oz passes the outside of the cafeteria and gymnasium. Once Oz actually gets to the backside of the building, he glances around. With it being the weekend, the normal rave spot is completely silent and the only thing out in the yard is the dead tree mentioned before. Oz walks towards the tree and leans against the side that isn’t facing the school.

Damien isn’t here yet it seems. Whatever Zoe sent Damien to get the demon to show up, she was right about it annoying him enough for him to spitefully show up late. 

“Of course Damien would show up late on purpose just because he’s annoyed,” Momentarily, Oz’s nerves are tamed by fond thoughts of the demon he has a crush on.

However, just as quickly as the sweet emotions appear a spike of panic clenches around his heart with a vengeance. This is it. This is what Oz has been equally looking forward to and dreading the last few weeks. This is the moment things will change between him and Damien forever, for better or worse. Against his own will, Oz starts to panic yet again.

Oz shuts his eyes and balls his hands up into fists, “I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.”

With success and defeat so close in sight, Oz lets himself do something he hasn’t ever let himself do before. He hopes and he thinks. Oz thinks about how things will change if Damien feels the same way and what it would be like to date the temperamental prince of Hell. It’s as his thoughts trail off that Oz surprises himself by the fact not all that much would change. Zoe might have been right when she said Damien and Oz already acted like a couple. Subtle touches, checking in on each other all the time, both of their shared concerns, the fact they seek each other out in every room, and even their simple nicknames that turned into terms of endearment that only the other can use.

Another revelation strikes Oz just as suddenly as the first. Damien’s never been a very tactile person. Sure, Damien LaVey is known for kicking, punching, burning, and has his fair share of hook-ups, but when it comes to just touching people without the intent to fuck or fight them, well, Oz can’t think of many times that’s happened. Damien never sits too close to Vera when they scheme, never slings his arm around Polly after they goof, and he certainly doesn’t go taking their interests to heart just to prove he should be their favorite friend. Oz is the exception to all of Damien’s normal behavior, and finally figuring this out, the incarnation of fear dares to hope.

The only problem with hoping for something after weeks of having no confidence in success at all though, is the fact your mind tends to tune other things out during your emotional revelation. This is why while Oz is finally understanding some smidge of the logic his friends were trying to beat into him, he didn't notice a lot of things that happened in his few minutes of thinking.

For example, Oz didn't hear Damien open up a portal on the other side of the tree he's inadvertently hiding behind. He also doesn't turn around until after a certain cheer captain makes her way out of the backdoor to the locker room, grumbling until she spots Damien looking around equally as frustrated. Oz doesn't see Avery's smirk as she makes her way towards the demon. The incarnation of fear certainly doesn't see Damien and Avery have a quiet conversation.

Oz doesn't see any of this.

No, instead, Oz glances around the tree just in time to see Avery, wings tinted black and eyes white, kissing Damien like her life depends on it, and everything in Oz's mind halts as he gasps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....so yeah. I consider this rock bottom. I guess stuff gets better from here. Also, sorry not sorry about that cliffhanger. If you want your heart to heal a little I'd reccomend checking out this fanart by Alwaysd2 on tumblr!
> 
> https://alwaysd2.tumblr.com/post/637149578280452096/the-other-phobias-instantly-declare-their


	49. I just want to forget... pt. 3/3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...you're welcome, I guess?

This is stupid. 

That's what Damien thinks as he stands waiting behind Spooky High for some mystery person to come out of nowhere and confront him. Not only is this stupid though, it's also nervewracking for the demon just because he knows the football players are having practice a few second walk away. That's not something that would normally be alarming if it weren't for the fact Oz might be watching Brian, Scott, and Kale play along with Sparky and Hot Hair.

Damien might have been able to deal with his friends and their terrible little confrontations about him not picking up the phone while asking what happened to him, but he was not ready to deal with Oz. Maybe in a couple weeks or so, but not today. Not to-fucking-day. 

So yeah, Damien's waiting around for whoever texted him to show up so he can murder them, burn them, then spread their ashes somewhere that's not only disrespectful and illegal but also entirely humiliating to the family of the owner of said ashes. Honestly, Damien was getting even more pissed by the second. He literally showed up late on purpose out of spite and the idiot who texted him wasn't even there! It's like whoever the hell texted him thinks he's just gonna wait around for them all day or something.

Damien crosses his arms and scowls at the thought because he knows that's exactly what he'll do. Because this text hadn't just been one of the classic death threats and blackmail attempts by the police force, people he pissed off, or Vera. No, this had been much, much worse.

**_Unknown_ ** _ : _ Meet behind the school before practice starts or else I'll tell everyone about your crush.

It was a simple text, but one that had sent dread directly into the demon's core the moment he read it. Whoever dared threaten Damien about this was number one on his hit list right above the person who let the cat out of the bag. In the back of Damien's mind, a part of his brain whispers that maybe it hadn't been one of his friends, but instead another member of the student body that knew his secret. As much as Damien hates admitting he has any faults or problems, he can definitely say that subtlety is not one of his strong suits. It's considerably possible that Damien gave himself away on multiple occasions.

Still, none of that changes the fact that Damien's standing alone outside of an empty school waiting for some big confrontation from some faceless person. With patience comes a bit of clarity, as Damien is suddenly hit with the obvious conclusion to why nobody's shown up. Damien showed up late. Only five minutes late, but late nonetheless. 

"Fucking hell!" Damien kicks the nearest rock and watches it sail through the air before busting against the side of the school with thud.

This is stupid. Damien's stupid. Why is he even here anymore? Whoever the hell threatened him probably hanging flyers at this point. Damien is about to head down to California and set off the fire of the century, right when his brain decides to start being logical and remind him that he has a phone and that text messages go both ways. With quick yet fumbling hands, Damien yanks his phone out of his pocket and scrambles to get a message towards his mystery person.

Damien types a demand that whoever wants to meet him better get there quickly or he's gonna blow them off. Well, that's the gist of what Damien sent anyways. Honestly, the demon typed his words so quickly that even he doesn't really know what he said other than a fuck ton of profanities and insults phrased as a request.

Not moments after Damien sends the text, a door in the back of Spooky High opens up and one of the cheerleaders steps out. For a split second Damien scowls thinking that they're the one who called him, but his concern is quickly dismissed when he realizes who it is, where they're coming from, and the fact there's a shit load of glitter all over the succubus's person. If Damien was in any better of a mood, he'd probably laugh and remember to give Sparky a high five later for hitting Avery with one of her cannons, (god knows the sly bitch deserved a couple of shots with glitter for ignoring personal space like she does) but with how the demon's actually feeling, he just hopes she leaves.

As if the universe is purposefully doing the opposite of what he wants, Avery looks up from where she was exiting the building and spots Damien. Before she even starts in his direction, Damien knows she's going to bee-line towards him. Proving the demon's prediction correctly, Avery does in fact break away from whatever path she was about to take to make her way towards Damien.

Great, now Damien has to deal with some touchy feely bitch that doesn't understand the meaning of no. Pinching the bridge of his nose before looking up with a glare, Damien prepares himself as much as possible to keep himself from punching where it hurts. Oz might be right about Damien needing to learn some restraint, because right about now it's really difficult to not lunge for this girl's throat and rip  _ something  _ out.

"What are you doing out here all by yourself?" Avery purrs her greeting as she struts forward slowly, swinging her hips.

Damien resists the urge to roll his eyes and walk away right then and there. The only thing keeping his feet firmly planted in place is the thought that his next murder victim shoulf be showing up soon and he can't miss them.

"None of your business that's what," Damien puts his phone back in his pocket as he snarls at Avery.

"Hmph, there's no need to be rude," Avery pauses a few feet from Damien and lets her wings flash out, "~I'm just trying to say hello."

"Well, hello," Damien growls, "Now goodbye. Leave me the fuck alone. I'm busy."

"You're busy standing here all alone at the back of the school?" Avery gets even closer, and Damien takes a step back.

"Yeah, what of it?" Damien scowls with a snarl.

"Well, I guess I just wanted to know what was so important that you'd be spending a Saturday all alone? Are you waiting for somebody important?" Avery smiles up at Damien and bites her lip, "Maybe someone special?"

For some reason unknown to the demon, his mouth gets dry and it takes an effort to swallow. Despite this sudden strange behavior, Damien manages to lie, "No."

"~Hmmm, really?" Avery tilts her head to the side and her wings retract slowly, “Then what  _ are  _ you doing?”

“It’s still nun of your business,” The words don’t come out as easy as they should although Damien doesn’t really notice considering he’s too busy looking into Avery’s eyes.

“Hmm, you really are a tough nut to crack aren’t you?” Avery takes a step forward and Damien doesn’t take a step back, “Let me ask you a better question then. Is there anybody that’s going to show up and try to interrupt us? I really hate being interrupted if you didn’t know.”

“Huh,” Is Damien’s eloquent reply. Why is it getting hard for him to think straight?

“Come on handsome,” Avery sets a hand on Damien’s chest, “I might be able to get myself out of practice because I’m the captain, but if somebody thinks you’ve gone missing I’ll be in trouble… You don’t want me to get in trouble, do you?”

Damien doesn’t even know what’s going on anymore, but he shakes his head to answer Avery’s question. Everything feels fuzzy and hot, but the demon doesn’t know how to stop it.

“Good,” Avery purrs, setting her other hand on Damien’s chest, “Now sweetie, can you please answer my first question? Is anybody that’ll come searching for you about to show up?”

Damien actually thinks about Avery’s question for a second although he doesn’t plan on answering it. The person trying to blackmail him into doing something probably won’t care if Damien suddenly decides to ghost them. His friends might think that something was up, but he didn’t really tell any of them where he was going. Of course, there was game night tonight, but if Damien doesn’t show it’s not like any of his friends wouldn’t have expected him to bail considering what recently happened.

“I... That’s… N-No,” Damien tries to deny Avery’s request, but he’s too stuck replaying her voice over and over in his head.

“Perfect. This couldn’t be more perfect,” Avery coos in satisfaction.

The hands on Damien’s chest reach up to hold his head. Damien’s own hands move, but pause mid-air. Something is telling him to push Avery away, but something else is telling him to pull her closer. What the fuck is even happening anymore.

“After your friend tugged you out of my grasp during lunch I thought I’d ruined my chances of getting you alone to do this,” Avery’s gaze suddenly turns sour, “That friend of yours is pesky to say the least. He has the most powerful soul I’ve ever seen, and he’s not even susceptible to my trance. I couldn’t even get a good enough grasp on his tastes to transform properly. Really, it was almost  _ unbearable _ seeing him walk around with that soul. Still, I’m sure I could’ve stolen it from him the old fashioned… well… I could have if it weren’t for you…”

Some part of Damien behind all the fog and strange emptiness turns red with rage, but with only a bit of his mind being able comprehend what’s going, he isn’t able to do anything more than force his arms to drop back to his side. Avery doesn’t seem to notice the demon’s small act of defiance, but if she does she ignores it to continue talking.

“Actually, I guess that isn’t fair. He also has that zombie, djinn, purple squid creature, and all those other annoying people around him all the time. Still, if I couldn’t get him into bed I guess you’d be my second choice anyways. Your soul isn’t half bad, I mean it’s not weak, you're a real looker, and the  _ prince  _ of Hell. I’m sure you’ll be quite the addition to my collection, but damn,” Avery almost looks through Damien as she talks, “Your friend’s soul was practically a nuclear explosion of power. Absolutely divine. I really wish I could have got my hands on him…”

The fog clears a tiny bit and Damien can’t fight the scowl that comes to his face the moment he has some sense of what’s going on. Damien still can’t move much, but that’s all he needs. However, before the demon can actually do anything Avery notices his scowl and immediately meets it with one of her own.

“Jeez, you really are trying to resist me aren’t you? Ugh, so annoying. Are you really going to make me shapeshift into your heart's desire and all that crap?” Avery leans even closer and erases the distance between her and Damien until they’re faces are practically touching, “...Or can I just get you to forget about what you want for something else?”

The fog clears even further as whatever Avery did to the demon wears off, and it’s just enough for Damien to growl and start to bring his hands back up again to really do some damage. The movement makes Avery’s eyes go wide with panic as she removes her hands from Damien’s face to grab at his hands and keep them in place.

“Transforming it is,” Avery still looks surprised that Damien is doing anything at all, “You really are sturdy, I’ll give you that. Most of the time I already have what I want, so good for you I guess. Seriously though, just stop. This isn’t my first rodeo. I know how to get what I want.”

Then suddenly, there are lips on Damien’s and hands on the back of his head. All at once, the fog that was slowly unclouding Damien’s head and letting him regain control surges back to where it was and everything gets ten times as fuzzy. 

Damien doesn’t close his eyes while being kissed for obvious reasons, but as Avery continues to go to town he almost wishes he had. Oz had told him before that the bitch could transform, but he hadn’t really questioned him about it at this time because he just assumed he had meant she could change hair and skin color and stuff like that. What Damien didn’t expect was that she could change everything. 

Right before his eyes, Avery’s wings start to shrink and turn black, just as her eyes turn white. With heavy dread and a bit of elation, Damien realizes exactly what Avery’s turning into, or to be more specific, who. As much as Damien wants to push Avery away, his body and mind refuse. The fog was smothering his brain and making his vision distort. At some point the fog starts to whisper and cajole.

_ This was Oz, and he’s kissing Damien.  _

Damien tries to remind himself it isn’t, and closes his eyes. Damien immediately regrets it because the darkness leaves him alone with his thoughts and the other stuff that forced its way inside Damien’s head.

_ If Oz is kissing Damien because he wants to, why should Damien hold back? _

Damien forces himself to stay rigid and ignore everything going on around him.

_ Damien won’t ever actually get to kiss Oz like this, why can’t he just have this instead? It’s practically the same thing. _

That’s the bit that broke Damien because it’s true. Damien can’t deny this because there isn’t anything to deny. He won’t ever be able to have Oz. He won’t ever be able to kiss him or any of the stuff he’s wanted to do. Maybe he could just have this instead. What’s so wrong about-

Suddenly, Damien’s mind completely clears with the sharp and clear sound of a sudden broken gasp. The sound clears all the fog in Damien’s head out in one go and suddenly Damien’s aware of everything again. It takes about thirty seconds for his mind to catch up and stop spinning, but the moment it does, Damien pushes Avery off of him and punches her in the face so hard he’s sure her black eye will have a black eye. 

“What the fuck!?” Damien snarls while wiping his mouth. If Damien wasn’t so absolutely gobsmacked by what just happened, he’d be beating the shit out of the succubus on the ground.

Speaking of Avery, she’s staring up at Damien with her jaw visibly dropped, “H-How did you- You shouldn’t have been able to- HOW DID YOU BREAK OUT OF MY TRANCE!?”

Damien’s attention is suddenly turned to the succubus on the ground covering her eye with her hand. The demon sends her such a scalding glare that Avery seems to realize her mistake of drawing any attention to herself.

“You.”

Damien stalks forward, leans down, and tugs Avery to her feet by the neck of her cheerleading uniform. The fury in Damien’s gaze would rival that of Zoe’s when she was still the ruler of the Dark Dimension. Avery lets out a squeak at the rough treatment, but she has enough sense to stay silent otherwise as to not further anger the demon her life is in the hands of.

Damien could have been angry at Avery for a lot of things, but in the moment only one thing sticks out in the demon’s mind and makes him truly furious, “You tried that on Oz.”

The most off-putting thing about that statement is that it lacks all of Damien’s usual fiery anger in favor staging cold with pure unadulterated rage. The way Avery pales at the question is both an answer enough and proof of how terrifying Damien is at the moment. 

“I-I tried to, b-but as I said, he’s totally immune!” Avery looks like she’s trying to come up with a way to get out of this without being brutally murdered.

“So, you did,” Damien looks like he’s deciding between cremating Avery and stringing her dismembered corpse over the school by her wings.

Damien stares down at Avery without even concealing his blood thirst. Then another revelation hits Damien and his mood somehow tanks even lower, “You knew who I liked…”

Avery must have been the one who blackmailed Damien into showing up here. It all fucking lines up with her little evil speech as well. Still, despite knowing that Avery set this all up to get him, Damien could care less in the face of the idea she tried this on Oz. Even knowing Oz is supposedly immune, it makes Damien’s blood boil. How dare this bitch lay one fucking finger on Oz. How dare anybody even try to hurt him? Hell, Damien could barely break out of Avery’s shit by himself. If it weren’t for that weird gasp that sounded strangely like-

Damien suddenly whips his head around to look for the source of the strange noise from earlier. That had sounded like Oz, and it had been spoken directly into his head. Suddenly, Damien’s anger is forgotten in favor of praying Oz didn’t see Avery trying to make out with him. Using Damien’s momentary lapse of attention in her favor, Avery breaks out of the demon’s hold and makes a run for it. 

Damien almost lunges after the succubus, but at the last second he decides she isn’t even worth the effort. Hopefully she’ll be too scared to even come back to Spooky High and will just move schools or drop out. For Avery’s sake she just better not meet Damien again, because he probably won’t be too busy looking for his crush next time. The moment Avery is completely out of sight, Damien looks around to see if his assumption was right and Oz saw what happened without any context.

“Oz! You here?!” Damien looks around the old dead tree in the back of the school yard, but doesn’t find anything. A few moments of looking around later, and Damien still comes in up empty handed.

Damien’s not one hundred percent sure if Oz was actually around to see the show, but even just a small percent chance of him watching makes him want to run after Avery and gut her. 

If the smaller monster did see them then probably thinks they're involved, having a one night stand, or something equally awful and disgusting. It’s not that Damien thinks he'll tell anybody because face the facts, Oz is no gossiper. It’s just the idea in general that anybody would think he was with Avery. Plus, what if Oz realized  _ who _ Avery was turning into while kissing him. Yeah, this is a project that might definitely need some damage control.

“FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!” Damien shouts as he punches the air as violently.

With no little dread flooding his soul, Damien realizes that if he wants to find out if he had a witness he'll have to go to Zoe's game night to talk to Oz face to face. With no little amount of trepidation, Damien brings his phone back out of his pocket and starts texting his friends for the location of Zoe's stupid new place.

The replies to Damien's question come just as quickly as the question is asked. Zoe, Polly, and Vera all send him the address at once followed by a follow up flurry of texts from his other friends, excluding Scott since he's literally practicing football a couple hundred yards away and therefore too busy to be answering his phone.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Ur gunna show up 4 game night?!

**🦇BatBoy🦇:** I thought you were busy being being angsty and broken hearted.

**Medusa:** Same.

**👻☠GHOSTY☠👻:** Liam! Vera! be nice!

**HerMajesty:** As impolite as Liam and Vera went about saying it, I do believe we are all due an answer. This is quite out of character for you Damien.

**Calculator:** I agree, this new development goes against all your previous data I’ve catalogued on you friend Damien.

**xX♡💜OwO💜♡Xx:** Come on guys! Give Damien some time to answer. I’m sure he had a reason for changing his mind. Right? 😉 😘 😏

Damien scowls as his friends continue asking him why the hell he’s suddenly decided to show for Zoe’s thing when he was dead set against it less than an hour ago. Honestly, Damien knows he’s probably be asking the same types of questions if the roles were reversed, but right now Damien is too messed up to try and put himself in other people’s shoes. That’s why Damien sends a simple text in reply to the barrage of courisities.

**🔥Damien🔥:** it’s none of your business. bye.

Damien can feel his phone buzzing as he puts it in his pocket, and it still doesn’t stop vibrating from the messages even then. Damien growls as he walks away from the school, being sure to walk around the side the football field is not on. Hopefully, Damien was just imagining shit earlier and he actually didn’t hear anything at all. Maybe he just broke out of the bitch’s brain rape thing by himself. (God, Damien really needs to apologize to Oz for calling his telepathy brain rape when they first met because his way of talking is  _ so  _ different from that intrusive crap) Although, thinking back to both times Oz had to take care of Damien through a hangover, the fact the smaller monster always somehow seemed to clear the demon’s head of pain when using his telepathy seems to perfectly align with what just happened. Dammit, who is Damien kidding, Oz had to have seen everything, and as much as Damien’s thankful for his intervention he also hates the very idea of the conversation he’s going to have to have with the incarnation of fear.

At least things couldn't get any worse.

  
  


__________________________________________

  
  
  


Turns out, things could get worse; well, worse in some ways, better in others.

Damien, the loser gang, and all his other friends are seated in Zoe’s living room. Of course, this isn't the bad part. The sofas were brand new and comfortable and the rest of the penthouse was just as impressive as the seating. Seriously, Oz had told Damien about how Zoe went overkill when getting a place, but he didn’t realize how true the statement was until he showed up.

The whole place was stuck between trying to be modern and the cavern of an anime enthusiast. Each piece of relatively normal furniture was surrounded by posters and figures from different Japanese cartoons. The perfect example of this conflict of themes was the balcony overlooking the city having a life-sized statue of Naruto leaning over the railing. Somehow though, Zoe managed to pull the look off. It was actually pretty cool. Now don’t get the demon wrong, this place still had nothing on the castle in Hell, but it’s still impressive.

None of these observations have to do with what’s making things so horrible though. The biggest problem is that everyone is sitting in the living room in awkward silence waiting for one incarnation of fear to show up. Well, that might not be what everyone else is doing, but that’s certainly Damien’s reason for silently brooding on the end of a couch with his head perched on his fist. 

The silence is unnerving and the demon’s brain doesn’t know if it makes him want to melt into the sofa or set it on fire, but it’s uncomfortable either way. Luckily, from the looks everyone else is sending around the room he’s not the only one feeling the tension. 

Vera and Liam look relatively annoyed by the lack of anything, Polly looks bored, Scott just seems happy to be there, Calculester just sits perfectly still as if waiting to be addressed, Brian almost seems to be looking away from everybody purposefully, and Miranda just stays seated. The merprincess tried to make conversation only for whatever topic she brought up to get shut down in a matter of seconds. None of this really concerns Damien as he doesn’t really care about what his friends are doing right now. What Damien does care about however, is the looks he’s getting from the three girls not mentioned earlier.

Zoe, Amira, and Vicky seem to keep glancing at Damien with barely concealed confusion. If it was just Hot Hair and Sparky staring, Damien would just think it was because they didn’t expect him to show up for some reason. However, considering Zoe’s also involved in the looking, the demon knows something else is up entirely. Not that Damien’s going to be the one to break the silence by asking why they’re looking; he isn’t even here for them.

Vera however, didn’t put space in her busy schedule to hang out just to sit in silence on a perfectly good Saturday night and she’s not against speaking her piece, “Okay. Enough is enough, why the hell are we all sitting around doing nothing when we’re usually screaming at Liam during Pictionary at this point? Also, follow up question, why are half of you looking at Damien as if he kicked a puppy in front of you?”

The reaction across the room is almost instantaneous. Amira and Vicky wince while Zoe just turns her gaze to Damien openly, Liam pulls out his phone and moves closer to Brian to ignore whatever confrontation is about to happen, and the rest of the monsters present just look at the girls in question curiously. Well, except Polly, who could care less about anything in face of the fact she was promised a good time and wasn’t getting it.

“Yeah! Why is everybody being so lame?!” Polly floats out of her spot next to Miranda on the couch and into the center of the room with her arms gesturing to her and there wildly, “We should try to beat each other in strip poker or something equally as fun right now! I did not skip a blow out the size of L.A just to sit around like a dead body! Let’s have some fun, or at least get off our asses and do something!”

“B-But Oz isn’t here yet!” Zoe protests, “We have to wait for him!”

Calulester finally moves by adjusting his sitting position before speaking, “Please ignore me if I am wrong friend Zoe, but is it not party etiquette to continue a party even if one member of the invited group does not show up?”

“W-Well, normally it does b-but…” Zoe looks like she’s scrambling to come up with an excuse for her strange behavior, “Oz is like my brother, so as his pseudo sister I have the right to wait for him because he’s family! Y-Yeah, that’s totally why I want to wait for him.”

Damien can’t help crossing his arms in frustration. He doesn’t want to deal with all the shit. All the demon wants is to catch Oz and see if he needs to explain what happened this morning. Actually, you know what, Damien doesn’t mind if this squabbling goes on a little longer if it prolongs the time the demon has to prepare for his upcoming conversation.

“Is that really what this is all about Zoe?” Vera rolls her eyes although she does look a bit amused, “Look, I’m sure Oz won’t mind if we start game night without him. I don’t think that monster has a single spiteful bone in his body. He’ll understand why we started and he can just jump in whenever he shows up alright?”

“B-But-” Zoe desperately looks to Amira and Vicky for support.

Amira’s the one to answer the call for help, “If we start without Oz, the teams will be messed up when we play. Someone will either have to play by themselves or we'll have to have a team of three. Either way it’ll be unfair.”

“Yeah! Who will be Damien’s partner?! He usually teams up with Oz in all the duo games!” At the mention of Damien, Zoe sends the demon a quick nervous glance, an action that doesn’t go unnoticed by Vera.

Said gorgon’s eyes Zoe suspiciously before her gaze sharpens into an accusing glare, “Please don’t tell me you set up another one of your little schemes Zoe. We both know this is way too soon for you to try anything.”

Zoe flinches and looks around like a cornered animal. Damien doesn’t take pity on the girl per say, but he does decide to enter the conversation at this point by pointing out the obvious, “If Oz is showing up late he had to have told you  _ how _ late he’d be. If he said like thirty minute we might as well wait, but if it’s any longer than that we might as well fucking start.”

Everyone in the room, including both Liam and Brian who had been silently waiting for the storm to pass, shifts their gazes to Damien with split reactions between surprise and shock at him deciding to join. Damien just leans back and rolls his eyes yet again at their reaction. Just because he was avoiding Oz a few days ago doesn't mean he can't talk about him or say his name.

Vera clears her throat, turning away from Damien albeit a bit hesitant, “Damien’s right. I doubt Oz would be late without giving you at least some grasp on how long it’ll take him to show up. How long would we have to wait if we don’t want to start before he shows.”

“Ummm… h-he said that…” Zoe looks like she’s searching for the right words to lie her ass off, but Brian cuts in.

“That’s it,” Brian sighs, catching everyone’s attention, “Oz already said that he wasn’t going to show up.”

There’s a moment of pure silence as everyone processes that bit of information. Damien freezes. Oz isn’t showing up for some reason. Oz isn’t showing up to an event Damien’s supposed to be at the same day he may or may not have caught Damien kissing Avery. That’s just too much of a coincidence. Damien wants to bang his head against a wall. He must have made Oz so uncomfortable that he didn’t even want to see Damien. The dmon just keeps fucking everything up. Damien bets the person Oz has a crush on wouldn’t screw up this badly.

“What?!” Polly screeches, “You mean we haven’t been partying because we’ve been waiting for Oz and Oz isn’t even going to show up?!”

Vera glares at Zoe for a second before turning back to Brian, “Are you saying that Oz already said he wasn’t coming and you and Zoe already knew this?!”

On the opposite side of Brian, Calulester scoots away from the zombie to get out of the gorgon’s raging gaze known for turning people to stone on the rare occasion. Brian and Liam however, stay firmly planted in place, both barely even reacting to Vera’s gaze.

“Yeah,” Brian nods with a shrug, “In my defense though, I had been told to stay quiet.”

“By who?” Miranda pipes up curiously.

“With my data from all of your body languages, heartbeats, and internal functions I would say that Zoe, Vicky, and Amira are most likely also guilty,” Calculester pauses.

“You mean to tell me-” Vera glares at Vicky and Amira, who’s pale faces have already given them away, “-that all three-”

Calculester cuts Vera off to turn to Damien, “I also considered you a suspect of the untrue, but despite you also seeming to have an elevated heartbeat and skittish behavior, considering past events with friend Oz I feel your reaction does not have to with lying and is rather warranted. I hate to get off topic like this however, as you are designated in my friend group I must ask if you are alright?”

All the previous frustration in the room melts away in favor of concern for their recently broken hearted friend. Everyone is waiting for Damien to acknowledge Calculester’s comment, but Damien is too busy glaring at Zoe and all those involved with hiding Oz not taking part in game night. 

“Are you seriously telling me you all lied about Ozzie showing up for literally no reason? Why the fuck am I even here then?!” Damien stands up and covers his face while groaning, “I can’t fucking believe this! I showed up to this shit show for no goddamn reason!”

The room goes silent for a second time as Damien fumes. Even Calculester looks surprised by this reaction, although his surprise is shown in the form of a loading screen. Damien doesn’t care about any of the stuff going on around him. All the demon cares about is the fact that he’s not only ruined his chances of dating him, but also his chances of staying friends with him. Damien regrets taking the taunts on his phone earlier seriously, if he hadn’t shown up at the school then Oz wouldn’t have seen him kiss the person that had harassed him on multiple occasions. As more and more thoughts blur his brain’s processing, Damien wonders if this is how Oz’s anxiety feels like and how he deals with it all the fucking time.

“I don’t understand what’s going on,” Scott, who’s mostly stayed quiet to let everyone else speak, finally states what everyone else was thinking, “I thought Damien was avoiding Oz because his feelings got hurt. D-Did I miss something somewhere?”

“Nope, I’m just as confused as you and I’m caught up with everything,” Polly does look very puzzled by current events.

“Wait, you came here just so you could see Oz?” Amira looks perturbed as well.

“But Zoe told us that-” Zoe is cut off by a hand getting slapped over her mouth. It isn’t enough though, because suddenly Vera’s eagle eye is back on Zoe, Vicky, and Amira.

Brian inwardly thanks past him for throwing his friends under the bus because he doesn’t have to face Vera Oberlin in all her intimidating glory. Just her glare practically petrifies the girls who are being questioned. 

“Amira, remove your hand from Vicky’s face this instant or so help me I’ll-” Amira doesn’t even let Vera finish before her hand is retracted and she’s backing away as much as she possibly can on the couch.

“Please don’t turn me to stone!” Is the fire djinn’s only plea as Vera glares her down. With Amira properly scared for her life, Vera turns to Vicky sharply.

“Would you mind finishing what you were about to say please?” The sickly sweet politeness behind finely concealed fury leaves no question to how Vera got herself the title of Spooky High’s biggest crime lord.

“U-Uh, oh, w-well…” Vicky can’t get any words out.

Pausing between bouts of stammering, the Frankenstein’s monster sends a pleading glance to Zoe for some sort of bail out, but even Zoe cowers under Vera’s thick gaze. Next on her list of allies, Vicky tries to get Brian to help her. 

The zombie takes one look at Vicky’s panicked expression before shaking his head and mouthing the words, “I got nothing.”

Only being able to think of one more monster that could possibly help dig her out of the hole she threw herself in, Vicky glances at Scott from the corner of her eye. Sadly, the werewolf looks far too confused and overwhelmed by the argument to talk. Seeing she’s not getting any help, Vicky decides her best bet is to just spill the beans and hope Vera’s more angry at Zoe afterwards than her.

“Zoe told us Damien was ignoring Oz because he actually had a crush on him and he got rejected and it broke his heart and now he was avoiding him and I know she wasn’t supposed to tell us but it was important that we knew and everything’s gone wrong and-” The words tumble out of Vicky’s mouth at breakneck speeds, “PLEASE DON’T KILL ME I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!”

Vera blanches at the plea for mercy and despite the circumstances Polly starts laughing behind her. Scott still looks confused, and Liam just looks done with everything as he deadpan stares at Zoe disapprovingly. Somehow, Damien hears the point of Vicky’s tirade through his storming emotions and thoughts and his head snaps in Zoe’s direction on point.

“You told them… WHAT?!” Instead of the normal snarl and scowl, Damien’s voice cracks in mortification and his cheeks turn red. However, the monsters around the room don’t get to share much relief over that fact before the embarrassment turns into righteous fury as he stomps across the living room, “WHY THE FUCKING HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT!?”

Zoe looks very conflicted as she tries to answer, “I- I- Oz just- You both- This is-”

“You know what?!” Damien scowls at the ground before his shoulders slump and the depression hits, “It doesn’t even fucking matter anymore. It doesn’t even matter.”

Never have been witness to one of Damien’s genuine mood swings, nobody knows what to do. Why should they? Most of the time Damien starts acting irrationally somebody just texts Oz to pick him up and deal with it. Considering why this conversation is happening though, that doesn’t seem like a very good idea at the moment.

Brian recovers from his stupor before his friends and quickly decides that the best way to fix this was to find the root of the problem, “Why did you want to see Oz, Damien?”

Catching on to what Brian’s trying to do, Amira manages to break out of her Vera-induced panic to jump on the probably suicidal provoking Damien bandwagon, “Was it about what happened this afternoon?”

Damien’s eyes that were sporting defeat, suddenly are reinvigorated by fury yet again, “How do you know about that?!”

“Wait, hold up, what happened this afternoon?” Polly tries to get an answer, but Damien and Amira are too stuck in a staring match to actually acknowledge her question.

“Of course we know what happened this afternoon,” Amira keeps her expression carefully blank, “We were the ones who texted you.”

Damien’s eyes blow wide with surprise and then confusion, “It was you?! But I thought it was…”

“Who?” Zoe recovers from Vera’s scaring with the power of determination just in time to try and goad Damien into an answer, “Who did you think sent the text?”

“It’s none of _ your  _ business!” Damien snarls before adding in on to that statement with an even darker tone, “Plus, it doesn’t matter. The real question is why the  **fuck** you pulled that shit in the fist place.”

“Jeez,” Vicky murmurs under her breath, just a little too audibly, “What went wrong with Oz. This is not how things were supposed to play out.”

Damien catches Vicky’s statement and whips his head in her direction, scowl faltering, “You sent Oz back there to meet me?”

“Yes. Yes we did,” Brian frowns, “That was the whole point in the first place.”

“Motherfucker man. Shit!” Damien curses, not thinking to ask why they did it when Avery obviously wasn't in league with them in favor of frustration at his fears being confirmed.

Up to this point, Damien had a tiny bit of hope left in the back of his mind that Oz hadn’t actually been there and he had just imagined things. Brian’s admittance proves that Oz was there and that he probably saw everything. Thinking about it, newfound confidence and resolve fills the demon’s chest. He’ll fix this. Damien can fix this. All he has to do is explain stuff to Oz and maybe everything will turn out relatively okay.

“Look, do you know where Oz is. I need to talk to him right now,” Damien scowls. 

With a wince, Vicky, Amira, Brian, and Zoe fall silent and look away from the imploring demon. The silence sticks for about thirty seconds before Zoe speaks up, “The problem with that is that Oz isn’t answering any of our texts…”

“But you said he told you he wasn’t going to be here through text messaging,” Calulester points out the hole in Zoe’s explanation.

“W-Well, he mentioned that he wasn’t gonna show up somewhere between when we sent him behind the school and when he told us he wasn’t going to be available the rest of the night,” Vicky taps her fingers together with a frown, avoiding looking anybody in the eyes.

Damien didn’t know if he wants to be pissed or worried by this new developement, “Why the fuck would you just accept that?! The last time Oz didn’t answer your stupid texts you almost started a cross country search! What’s different now?!”

Pissed ends up winning out.

Vicky and Zoe looked properly cowed, but Amira wasn’t ready to just roll over and act ashamed just yet, “Oz said he was going to be fine and that he wanted to be alone. Out of every one of us here, Oz is the most responsible, so we decided to respect his wishes. Plus, Oz can teleport anywhere whenever he wants. If he wants to be alone, he’ll stay alone.”

“Fucking hell,” Damien pinches the bridge of his note in an attempt not to punch Oz’s friend in the face. Even if he’s on the other side of the universe right now and she’s being an idiot, Oz would not appreciate the demon knocking out one of Amira’s teeth.

“Don’t say anything else, or you’ll be the second person I’ve punched today,” Damien warns the fire djinn when she looks about ready to add something probably equally as infuriating. Damien’s not in the mood for this bullcrap at the moment.

“Look Damien,” Brian speaks up and the room’s attention turns to him. Surprisingly, he’s dropped his monotone voice and neutral expression in favor of legitimately showing concern, “All of us are worried about Oz. Why do you think Zoe was so desperate to wait for him to show up?”

Damien doesn’t calm down at Brian’s explanation, but he doesn’t get more furious either which makes Vicky and Amira let out a silent sigh of relief. Everyone else in the room is paying attention Brian with utmost attention.

“After what happened this afternoon when you texted everyone saying you were gonna show up, we thought everything was gonna be alright. Then, not five minutes after you, Oz sends us this giant text about how he’s not showing up and wants to be left alone. We didn’t know what to do other than just pretend everything was okay. I was against the idea of not just asking you what happened straight up, but I lost the vote three to one,” Brian grimaces as he continues, “I still want to know, but really none of my business to ask and it also doesn’t matter at this point anyways. What does matter is that Oz is somewhere by himself and we just have to accept that. None of us can find him, so we just have to deal with him not being her until he decides to talk to us again.”

Vera, with no little amount of exasperation at the drama flowing freely around her, drops back onto the couch with her hand over her face and her snakes hissing, Polly looks like she’s finally over having game night entirely and just looks somewhat worried as she continues to float over the coffee table, Miranda and Scott are staying unusually silent along with the normally quiet Calculester, and Zoe looks like she’s about to explode from all the raw emotions coursing through her veins. Damien however, while not being furious anymore, does look annoyed.

“Whatever,” Damien scowls, “If you all are too much of pussies look for Oz without any clues then just sit her and do nothing for all I care, but I’m not all about sitting around and waiting for shit like some damsel in distress.”

“Friend Damien, as much as I agree with that sentiment,” Calculester frowns, “I also agree with friend Brian’s logic. Friend Oz can travel anywhere in the world through what I ultimately consider his very own pocket dimension. A search around the world would take years, if not centuries for me, even with all data and statistical rendering systems. A monster without a processing system of such strength such as yourself would only take longer. It is much more likely we will find friend Oz faster if we wait for him to come to us. Even then, considering you are the most probable source of his supposed emotional distress, it would be smart not to allow you to be the first person to see him considering. You’ll only make things worse.”

Damien flinches as if physically hit at the last part while everyone else in the room openly gapes at the automaton. Everyone knows Calculester doesn’t have the best grasp on emotions, but nobody could have expected him to say that. Even Liam looks surprised by the unexpectedly cruel comment.

“Cal!” Scott gasps, “That was mean!”

“What?” Calculester glances around the room as if the reaction he received was unexpected, “I was being truthful and considerate. Is that not what I am supposed to do in this situation? Why do you all look so upset by my statement?”

“Considerate?” Liam actually laughs, “Calculester, if that’s what you consider considerate then you need to reprocess whatever dictionary you have in that data cloud you call a brain because if I were to describe that with one word it would be uncalled for, not considerate.”

“I hate to contribute to this sad atmosphere,” Polly starts, “But that was seriously rude Calc.”

“I don’t understand…” Calculester frowns, “Where did what I say come off as antagonistic?”

“Um, probably the part where you literally said Damien could only make things worse,” Amira sounds like she can’t even believe she has to say that.

Damien interrupts everyone’s pointed glares at Calculester by letting his shoulders slump with an irritated sigh, “No… Cal’s right. I’ll probably only fuck things up even worse. I’m shit with emotions.”

Seeing Damien so subdued is yet another shock to add to the list along with the catalyst for all the monsters present to accumulate enough guilt that they could flood a small third world country with it. 

“Who am I kidding, I’ve already messed everything else up. I couldn’t man up enough to tell him I liked him, then I ignored him for a week, and finally there was today,” Damien looks like he’s about to have a mental breakdown and this type of upset was so unordinary from the usually emotionally estranged Damien that even Miranda had to do a double take, “Fucking hell I’m a mess…”

“Bro…” Scott whimpers, “None of this is-”

“NO! I don’t want to hear it! This  _ IS  _ my fault, and I’ll be damned if I don’t do something to make up for it,” Damien’s demeanor shifts from subdued defeat to cold determination before anybody can even realize what’s going on. With a smirk, Damien turns towards Calculester, “You might be right about any normal monster not being able to search the world, but I’m not just any normal monster. I’m Damien FUCKING LaVey and I do whatever the hell I want!”

Before anybody can protest, Damien pulls out his phone and starts tapping it. In a matter of seconds, a portal is opening behind him and Damien is turning around to apparently start his search for Oz. Just as Damien starts to step through the portal, Zoe seems to have a minor crisis as she regains her senses. She looks conflicted as she glances between Damien’s fading form and the floor. Suddenly, she seems to decide on whatever she’s thinking about because she calls after Damien as the portal closes.

“OZ LIKES YOU TOO!” Is all Zoe blurts as the portal closes. It’s unclear whether or not Damien heard her, but it’s certain that everyone else in the room does. 

“WHAT?!” Is the resounding reply from everyone in the room excluding Zoe and the rest of the loser gang.

Instead of answering everyone’s shocked confusion, Zoe chooses to turn to her allies with wide eyes, “Do you think he heard me?!”

Brian, Amira, and Vicky shrug all at the same time.

  
  


__________________________________________

  
  
  


As Damien steps through his portal directly into Oz’s home, he hears Zoe shout something behind him. The demon shrugs it off easily, she was probably telling Damien to wait or bring her with him. Either way, Damien was going to do no such thing. If he finds Oz, no…  _ When _ Damien finds Oz, he wants this to be a one on one conversation. Damien has to plead his case and hope Oz will understand what happened wasn’t what it looked like.

In a rare moment of self awareness, Damien realizes he sounds like some unloyal husband looking for forgiveness after cheating. The realization makes Damien wince in shame and quickly crush the line of thought and repress it as deep in his mind as possible. There is no room for even more useless thoughts like those right now.

“Ozzie! You here?” Damien trudges through the apartment, mentally preparing himself for a conversation that could turn confrontation in a matter of seconds.

Yet again, Damien wonders how angry Oz is at Damien that he kissed Avery knowing she harassed him twice. It’s even worse considering what Damien learned this afternoon about the true intentions of both those encounters with the vixen. Once again, Damien pushes these thoughts to the back of his head to keep himself getting irrationally angry.

To Damien’s dismay, all his preparation turned out to be for nothing as the more he explores the house the clearer it is Oz isn’t home. Truthfully, Damien expected as much the moment he didn’t find Oz in the kitchen stress baking. After the first time it happened before the cult incident, it became a common occurance to find Oz baking away in the cooking event after a hectic day. Plus, out of everything Amira’s ever said, nothing has ever been truer than her statement that if Oz wants to be alone he has all the resources to stay that way. Oz is the eldritch incarnation of fear itself and spends thousands of years hiding in the shadows by himself and that’s excluding the fact he has his own dimension to just hide out in whenever.

Damn, Damien knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but he really wasn’t thinking about how hard this was going to be. As much as the demon hates to admit it, Calculester might be right about the time it’ll take to find Oz all by himself. Despite the situation, Damien thanks past him for already muting his phone. Otherwise he’s sure that his friends would be spamming him so much that his phone would explode from the workload.

Getting back on topic, Damien tries to think of the places Oz would go if he was openly trying to stay away from people. Wow, that literally narrows down the list of places he could be by nothing. Half the places Oz goes are across the world and that’s not even considering the fact Oz somehow knew what a flerken was, therefore meaning he could probably travel to different places in the universe. 

With a frustrated groan, Damien sits down on Oz’s couch and holds his head in his hands. If it wasn’t for his pride and determination, Damien probably would have already lost hope. Luckily though, demons are known for their extreme determination and pride, so by the time Damien runs out of those he’ll either be old or dead.

With a type of organization uncharacteristic of Damien, he starts to go through the places he’s been with Oz in his head and tries to get rid of the ones that are least likely. In the back of his mind, Damien doubts Oz would go anywhere the prince of Hell went before, but it’s the only lead he’s so he has to stick with it. Just as Damien removes both the abandoned mall and warehouse from his mental list, a new entity makes herself known.

“Meow!” Damien’s jerked out of his thoughts by the shriek of Dorothy.

Looking up, Damien is eye to eye with the cat, who is standing on the coffee table with her tail going wild. Now, he’s no animal expert, but even Damien can tell the flerken… cat… thing is distressed. 

Even sitting down, the hackles of Dorothy’s crimson fur rose off her back in a clear sign of irritation. The red alien’s ear twitched frantically as well and a soft grumble resounded from the feline’s chest much like the growl of a dog. The sound was so out of the ordinary that if Damien didn’t know Dorothy was an alien he'd have figured it out now.

“Meow!” Dorothy lets out another yowl that demands she should be paid attention to.

Damien’s eyebrows furrow at the cat and he frowns, “What do you want?”

“Meow!” Dorothy stands up, tail pointing directly at the ceiling, spins around, and then sits back down looking at Damien, “Meow!”

“Okay, now I get your trying to say something, but I have no idea what it is,” Damien scowls with a frown

Eyes that are far too intelligent than they should be seem to grow agitated at Damien’s lack of understanding. Dorothy hisses before lifting up each of her paws one by one before placing them back down. Damien only stares.

This entire situation hits Damien with a sense of  déjà vu. This one-sided conversation is almost exactly like the conversation Damien had with Oz’s phobias when their master first had a panic attack in front of the demon. Realizing this, Damien is hit with an idea.

“Are you trying to tell me where Oz is?” Damien asks quickly.

If a cat could look self satisfied, Damien’s sure Dorothy would be expressing her confirmation that way. As it is though, cats don’t have faces, so Dorothy just meows twice and spins around instead.

“Holy crap!” Damien hops to his feet quickly, “That’s fucking rad! Can you show me where Oz is?! We really need to talk!”

Damien would feel stupid for talking to a cat like this, but Dorothy’s far to smart to not be talked to at all. A fact that’s proven very quickly when she sends him a look that just shouts ‘no shit sherlock.’

“Okay, okay, okay. You’re obviously here because you already know all that. How you know, I won’t ask. Mostly because I don’t think you could answer me, but also because I don’t want to, but whatever,” Damien’s words are flying past his mouth quickly, fueled by the fact he knows what he’s doing now, “Show me where Oz is!”

All at once, Dorothy seems to calm down as if she wasn’t expecting Damien to agree. Her red hair lies flat, her ear stops twitching, and the rumbling noise disappears. The cat hops down from the coffee table and struts up to Damien so that she’s only a few inches away from his feet. With another cute meow, the fiery feline sits down before looking up at Damien and tilting her head to the side questioningly.

“What are you waiting for?! We need to get going!” Damien growls impatiently, “I need to get to Oz as soon as- GAH!”

Right in the middle of Damien’s words, Dorothy opens wide and let’s loose her flerken tentacles that quickly drag Damien into her tiny pocket dimension. With the shouty demon tucked away nicely, Dorothy purrs before encasing herself in said tentacles and quickly blinking out of existence before reappearing a few multiple cities over outside of a very bright and loud one story building’s parking lot. Just because she’s a jerk, before letting Damien out of her small little pocket in space, Dorothy takes the time to lick both her paws clean. Once she’s sure both her appendages are properly cleanly, the flerken’s tentacles shoot out and release a very confused Damien Lavey who falls right on his ass looking very confused.

“What the hell?!” Damien scrambles to get to his feet before he realizes he’s no longer in Oz’s home, “Oh shit.”

Dorothy just stays put as the demon looks around with curiosity and confusion. Soon enough, Damien’s eyes wander down to the ground and his eyes lock on to Dorothy. It’s easy to tell that’s when Damien connects the dots by the way his eyes light up.

“When did you start acting like a taxi service?” Damien asks the cat at his feet curiously. Before Dorothy can answer, not that she could, Damien shakes his head, “Wait, no. That’s not important right now.”

Helping direct Damien even further, Dorothy points her tail in the direction of the building beside her before meowing at Damien. She repeats this gesture a couple more times before Damien catches on and understands what it means.

“You want me to go in there?” Damien asks with a raised eyebrow, “...but that’s a bar.”

Damien looks at the building again, it certainly is a bar. One Damien’s seen before too. It just so happens that not all that long ago Damien attempted to stab a certain monster in the gut while drunk. It wasn’t the highest class place, but it was certainly enough. Right now, the place looked surprisingly empty. Even through the window Damien could only see at least five or six people inside, and all those people seemed too drunk or too prideful to leave for any reason other than the apocalypse. 

Damien looks back down at Dorothy thinking she must be joking, “Why would Oz be in a bar? He doesn’t even like to drink.”

Dorothy doesn’t meow, wave her tail, or any of the above. Instead, the cat starts to walk away from Damien.

“Hey! Wait! Where the hell do you think you’re going?!” Damien shouts after the cat, but Dorothy only meows at him without looking back before blipping away behind a trash can and leaving nothing but empty space in her wake.

Just like that, Damien is left alone in the middle of an empty street. At this point, Damien’s pretty sure Oz isn’t actually here. However, he’s also pretty sure Dorothy didn’t just drop him off her for no reason. If he wants to find Oz, the demon’s best bet is that Oz stopped by here for some crazy reason and somebody spotted him, because why else would somebody so against drinking come to a bar.

At first glance, everything seems exactly the same as it did through the windows earlier. There aren't many clients inside and those that are getting served are still either drunk or sitting down with an air of defiance. However, upon closer inspection it’s really fucking obvious stuff isn’t quite what it seems. The first thing Damien notices is how everyone who’s sober’s attention snaps to him the moment he steps in with something akin to a silent warning. Even the bartender, who seems to be a sentient ball of flames in a blazer and tie, silently gestures his hand as if telling Damien to leave for his own good. 

Damien stands in the doorway of the establishment in clear confusion before he catches some of the people inside, drunk and sober, fearfully peeking at one of the booths near the very back of the bar. From where he’s at, Damien can’t see who’s sitting there, but he can make an educated guess that whoever it is, they’re the cause of the strange atmosphere and lack of patrons. 

The last thing the demon notices before moving to look around is the fact that it’s much darker than it should be with all the lights are, and even more concerning is the fact everyone’s shadows are much taller than they have any right to be. Oh, and said shadows are also bubbling, which… definitely sends up a few red flags to say the least.

Still, Damien struts into the bar like he owns the place in his signature arrogant asshole style. The bartender’s gestures seem to get more frantic and some of the clientele finally avert their attention as if to not draw attention to themselves. Stepping up to the bartender and leaning over the counter, Damien gets ready to ask what’s going on with this place only for said bartender to beat him to the punch.

“Look sir,” The bartender has his voice lowered so that his voice can barely be heard even in the silence of the establishment, “You can have a drink if you want, but I’d recommend going down the street and finding somewhere else. We’ve got a bit of a  _ situation _ going on right now and we’re not really in the position to be hosting people like we usually are.”

When bringing up whatever situation they’re having, the man behind the counter subtly points his finger in the direction of the booth still out of Damien’s line of sight. Glancing in the direction, Damien notices with a small amount of concern that the shadows around that table in specific seem to be especially volatile. Stupidly, Damien doesn’t think much of it. Looking back at the man tending the bar, Damien frowns. 

“I’m not here for any of the crap you’re selling,” The demon has enough common sense to keep his voice lowered, “I want to know if you saw my friend pass by. I need to talk to him about a bunch of serious shit and this is the only place I could think of him being.”

Considering the random monster’s reaction earlier about Damien talking to a cat, the demon decides to change that particular detail. There’s no sense in convincing the people here he’s crazy before he gets info on how to find Oz.

The bartender can’t frown, considering he’s literally a ball of fire, but he does somehow manage to look surprised, “You’re just searching for your friend? Hmm, well, not many people have stopped in here tonight. I might be able to tell you if they stopped by if you give me a general description.”

Somewhat relieved he doesn’t have to resort to threatening anybody for information, Damien goes right into describing Oz as quickly as possible, “Well, he’s just a bit shorter than me, wears a cardigan most of the time, and talks to new people with a stutter.”

The bartender looks thoughtful as Damien describes Oz, “Hmm, yes, keep going.”

“Um, he has black hair and skin, and well, he doesn’t have a mouth,” Damien’s no artisan of words unless it comes to poetry, so he’s kind of struggling with his description, “...and his eyes are just… white dots? Yeah, I guess that’s how he’d probably describe them.”

“Wait. Stop right there,” The guy behind the counter looks shell shocked, “When you say black do you mean pitch black? Like, darker than the night sky kinda black?”

Damien pauses, confused, “Yeah? What other type of black is there?”

“And you said this guy is your friend right?” The bartender asks for clarification.

Now Damien’s getting annoyed, “Why else would I have said, ‘I’m looking for my  _ friend _ ?’”

“Oh thank the lord,” The bartender looks relieved beyond relieved, “Yo know him. You can get him out of her. Nobody else wants to get near him because of when, the shadow quicksand he’s practically surrounded himself with. Plus, those giant dog looking things popped up once and scared the hell out Glinda, our Naga server. He’s not causing a ruckus or anything so none of us really had the heart to tell him to leave, but his mood is really screwing up the place’s usual business.”

Damien stares at the bartender, waiting for the punchline of the joke. When nothing comes, Damien’s confused, “He’s here? You’re not fucking pulling my leg here right, because I am not against murdering a living ball of fire.”

“What?! No sir, I am being very serious right now,” This time, the bartender skips being subtle and openly points at the booth in the corner, “Your friend showed up about five hours ago, threw enough money to pay for every bottle of hard alcohol on the shelf, purchased said alcohol, then sat down at that table. If it wasn’t for the fact he was so persistent about not being able to get alcohol poisoning, I would have thought he was trying to kill himself!”

“No, no, no. We can’t be talking about the same person here,” Damien scowls in frustration, “Oz doesn’t drink. I’ve never seen him drink.”

“I’m sorry sir, but if your description is correct, which I’m sure it is,” The bartender assures, “Then that means your friend is the one in that booth over there, and if I may, I’d like to say that when he came in he looked very… sad. I wouldn’t be surprised if he decided to drink to forget. You’d be surprised how many people come in here every night for that exact reason.”

Against his will, dread begins to pool in Damien’s chest, “Fine. I’ll believe you. Let me go see if it’s actually Ozzie over there and if it is we’ll both probably be leaving soon. That or this whole place will go up in flames. It doesn’t really matter to me either way.”

Not waiting to see the bartender’s reaction to his last threat, Damien makes his way over to the booth hidden away in the back corner. The closer Damien gets, the weaker the shadows around the table start to bubble and boil. Hoping that’s a sign they’re safe to walk on, Damien steps into the darkness on the ground to get closer to Oz, or whoever else is drinking away their soul. The dark shadows don’t suck him down like quicksand the moment Damien tries to walk on it, so he breathes a sigh of relief before continuing forward. 

When he finally makes it to the booth, the first thing Damien notices is the empty bottles. There was no connection between the different brands and types other than the fact they were all meant to be drunk as shots instead of straight out of the bottle. The second thing that Damien notices makes him want to run away and lunge forward out of concern at the same time.

Damien prepared himself for a lot of things. Oz hating him, yelling at him, and/or being completely uncaring about the whole thing were some of those outcomes. What Damien did not expect was to see him slumped over at a bar, drunk, with his head in his hands crying. Somehow, he finds this one worse than all the others combined because, while he doesn’t know it for a fact, it’s almost guaranteed that Damien caused this.

In the current spiral of thoughts going on through his head, Damien curses himself repeatedly for not seeing this coming. All this time Damien’s been thinking about what he would do if he was really, really, angry at somebody when he should have been thinking about Oz and what he would do. In retrospect it’s obvious this was what happened. Oz doesn’t get angry often, and when he does it’s almost always for his friends instead of for himself. The closest he’s seen the smaller monster get to raging is right before Zoe’s cult kidnapped Amira, Vicky, and Brian, and even after that Oz felt horrible about how he yelled at Damien for days afterwards. Hell, Oz still apologizes every time it’s brought up. Knowing this, it’s no wonder Oz would end up sad instead of angry. Damien just wishes he would have figured this out earlier.

“Fucking hell,” The curse slips out of Damien’s mouth before he even realizes it and breaks him out of his own head.

Shrugging off the notion of running away from his problems and waiting for things to blow over, Damien clears his head and makes his way even closer to Oz. All the demon’s plans to bargain and beg his way out of Oz’s anger are useless now and he’s left trying to come up with a plan right on the spot.

“Ozzie?” Oz doesn’t look up when Damien says his name much to the demon’s dismay.

“Oz,” Damien gets a little louder, but his voice is still soft. Finally hearing him, Oz flinches at Damien's voice before looking up. The flinch would have hurt Damien’s feelings if he wasn’t so focused on the fact Oz’s jagged toothy mouth was open and very unhidden.

Yet again, Damien curses himself for being so stupid. Of course Oz had to use his mouth to drink. It shouldn’t be so jarring that he decided to use a part of his body for one of its basic functions. It shouldn’t hurt that Oz was so upset that he blatantly ignored his self consciousness about the feature he’s only shown Damien. It shouldn’t, but it does. 

" ~~ D A **_m_ ** _ Ie _ N? ” ~~ Oz’s real voice is always jarring, but Damien never realized how much Oz was able to rein in the crazy until now. Not only were his words slurred, but they were also deeper and sounded like dozens of people were speaking over each other to say the same thing over a broken speaker. It didn’t dissuade Damien, but thinking back to what Oz said about his past, the demon wonders if Oz realizes how much better his voice got from the original version.

Going for reassurance in the sense of nothing happening between them, Damien tries to sound casual, “Sup dork. Um, can I say it’s really weird to see you here?” 

That was apparently the wrong thing to ask because Oz is definitely an emotional drunk. As Damien’s question, Oz looks around himself and his gaze only lingers on the dozens of empty bottles of straight up whisky before tears start to silently trail down his face by the boatload.

" ~~ S- **_sH_ ** **i** T,  I **’M** _ s _ U **c** H a M ~~ _ e _ **_SS…_ ** ” Oz looks completely miserable as he slumps down in the booth,  "I-I  ~~**C** _aN_ _’T_ **b** _El_ _i_ eV **e I-** *hic* **I** ’M _s_ ** _O_** sT _u_ **p** id…”~~

Damien decides right then and there to push aside the thoughts of whatever might happen after tonight to take care of Oz. As Oz cries silently while blaming himself, Damien reaches into his pocket to pull out his phone while talking to Oz.

“Ozzie, I don’t know what the fuck you’re blaming yourself for, but I can one hundred percent it’s probably my fault, not yours,” Damien pats his pockets, desperately looking for the device that gives him access to portals anywhere he wants them, “Shit, I think your cat still has my phone in her weird ass stomach.”

Oz is too busy being drunk and sad to notice Damien trying to think of a way to get Oz home without his phone because there is no way Damien trusts Oz to get them home by himself. If Damien let that happen they would both be lucky if Oz accidentally sent them to Antarctica instead of the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. So no, there is no way Damien’s letting that happen anytime soon. 

“Dammit,” Damien looks between Oz, the swirling vortex of shadows all over the floor, and the bartender that looks ready for today to be over, trying to think of something.

The answer to Damien’s nonexistent prayers comes in the form of a loud car alarm going off in the bar’s parking lot. Taking a step back and looking out the front window, some idiot is trying to steal a car despite looking like they have no idea what they’re doing. Watching someone else fail terribly and trying to steal something reminds Damien that he is very good at stealing, especially when it comes to grand theft auto. This train of thought also leads Damien to remembering that Oz’s house should only be like an hour away. If Damien doesn’t have fast travel it looks like he’ll just have to do things the old fashioned way.

Getting closer to Oz, Damien hoists the smaller monster up from his seat to try and get Oz to his feet, “Okay Ozzie, you’re fucking slammed alright? Just work with me here and we can get you back to your house sooner rather than later.”

“You *hic* don’t have to do this…” Oz thankfully stops crying, but as he continues to talk Damien doesn’t know if that’s a blessing or a curse. Either way, at least Oz has enough awareness to start using telepathy again instead of saying his drunk wonderings for everyone to hear. It’s not so much the fact that Damien minds it as much as the demon knows Oz will once he’s sober, “Y-You should be at… at Zoe’s… I think? Yeah, *hic* you should be having fun… not taking care of me… cause I’m stupid.”

“Don’t fucking say that. I’m not helping you cause I have to, I’m doing it because I want to. Plus, there was no way I was gonna have any fun at Zoe’s if you weren’t there too,” Slowly but surely, Damien gets Oz to his feet and starts to lead them out of the bar. 

The whole time Damien ignores the impressed looks of everyone still inside the establishment. If everything wasn’t so serious, Damien would probably find it ironic how these people could learn to fear Oz a healthy dose in four hours (something that will be very useful in keeping people away when Damien steals one of their vehicles) when his friends took more than three months to even be slightly wary of him. It really shows how much effort Oz had put into staying unnoticed and looking like nothing special compared to when he just doesn’t care. Damien just wishes that Oz had that kind of confidence normally and didn’t do it just because he was sad and drunk. Oz is too amazing to stay in the background and hide away all the time. 

“You woulda been fine without me… everybody loves you…” In his drunken state, Oz lets his head drop onto Damien’s shoulder, “...mmm… you’re warm…”

“O-Oh.. well,” Damien forces himself not to blush by reminding himself that Oz is drunk beyond all belief and is just spouting whatever random bullshit comes to his mind, “You know why. It’s because demons are literally from hell and they just have higher body temperatures and all that. Remember that time Calculester thought I was sick that one time before he found that out?”

“...Oh yeah… that was the same day you *hic* came to school in makeup and made seven of the girls in class swoon. You had on really pretty sparkly eyeliner,” Damien doesn’t know how Oz can remember that while drunk when Damien usually forgets what he wears three minutes after he cleans it off his face. Before Damien can comment on it though, Oz frowns a very toothy frown, “...That was a bad day…”

Well, Damien’s not an absolute idiot, so he decides not to push the subject of what apparently was a bad day onto a very emotional drunk that just got over crying. Instead, Damien drags Oz out the front door of the bar without saying anything at all. If Oz wants to keep rambling, he’ll keep rambling, and if Damien enjoys listening to his friend’s nonsense just a teensy weensy bit, nobody will blame him right? Knowing that things are going to change for better or worse when Oz is sober, the demon’s got to get as much of Oz as he can before it’s too late anyways.

“...You’re amazing...” In an impressive amount of self control, Damien doesn’t even pause when Oz slurs these words into his mind with true sincerity and instead manages to somehow continue towards their destination of a car in the parking lot. It’s too bad for Damien that drunk Oz doesn’t have a brain to mouth filter and he’s not finished talking yet, “I don’t even know why you *hic* hang out with me…”

Okay, it’s not that Damien couldn’t have ignored that if he wanted to, it’s just the fact that he didn’t want to and there was no way, even drunk, he’s gonna let Oz say stupid crap like that, “You dumbass, I hang out with you because your my friend.”

“...Polly’s your friend...so is Miranda, Scott, Liam, and Vera,” Oz looks sad and Damien really hopes that doesn’t mean he’s going to start crying again. The first time Damien could handle it because he’s not 100% sure he was the cause of it, but now, if Oz starts crying, the demon will know for sure he caused that burst of tears.

“Yeah, so?” Damien hopes if he just goes along with what Oz says it’ll keep him happy.

“They’re all better than me…” Oz says this with so much certainty that Damien finds himself speechless. 

Does- Does Oz really think that?

“Vera’s so confident… Polly’s fun… Scott’s nice…” The more Oz talks the sadder his expression gets and the more his words become gibberish, “Miranda’s a princess… and Liam’s so good with words… Why do you even stick around me when they’re so much-”

“Don’t you dare say better,” Damien doesn’t mean to growl, but he refuses to let Oz finish that sentence, “Look, I know you're drunk and emotional and everything, but I don’t care. I spend time with you because your my best fucking friend. Do you know what the best part of that title means? It means I think you're the best, so saying anybody else is better than you is just insulting my taste in friends. Now stop talking about that and let me get you home before the people inside realize I’m about to steal one of their cars.”

Oz goes silent for a moment as if he’s actually trying to process what Damien said. Using this silence, Damien drags Oz across the parking lot towards the car he decides to hotwire and steal. It’s the exact same one some dude from earlier tried to steal. Damien almost scoffs when he makes that realization. The guy must have tried to break the window, set off the alarms, panicked when they turned off, then ran away. Getting close to the car, Damien leans Oz against the side of the vehicle’s back door.

“Please try not to fall over,” Damien steps away from Oz and when he sees the other monster stay firmly planted on his feet, sighs before moving towards the window. 

With the kind of expertise of someone who’s had to steal and break into automobiles before, Damien skillfully picks the lock on the door with a random paperclip he found in his pocket. Opening the door to his new car, Damien sits in the driver’s seat for a moment before he starts disassembling the box under the wheel and rewiring the cords inside. It only takes a couple of seconds and the car starts up, ready to be driven.

“Ha! That’s exactly what I wanted to hear!” Getting out of the driver seat and slapping the top of the car, Damien makes his way over to Oz before looping his arm under the other monster and using the same technique as earlier maneuvering him towards the front door opposite of the driver’s side. 

Once Damien opens the door, Oz seems to catch the drift and even barely conscious manages to get inside and buckle the seatbelt. Damien watches with a bit of amused jealousy. When he’s drunk about the only thing he can do is try to stab and shoot people. If somebody told him to try and buckle seatbelt while he was intoxicated he'd probably punch the person who asked him to do it instead.

Damien waits a moment to see if Oz is going to say anything, but when he doesn’t, the demon simply closes the door and heads around to get in on the other side. With the engine still running, Damien gets inside the car, closes the door, revs the engine once, and then gets on his way. A bit of time passes and no police cars come after Damien to try and arrest him for stealing a car, so he considers himself in the clear. 

Glancing over at Oz while driving, the other monster seems to be looking out the window and buildings and other scenery quickly pass them by. Within the silence, Damien considers turning on the radio, but in the end he just decides to go without. Damien doesn’t know if Oz sleeping is an event that only takes place when he’s under great physical stress, but just in case it isn’t the demon doesn’t want anything around that will keep him up or wake him up, just in case he’s already asleep.

Thinking about how sweet things he’s doing would be considered, Damien almost scoffs. Whoever said demons were heartless must never have seen one in love. Damien’s not afraid to admit he’d probably do about anything for Ozzie right about now just because he feels bad for hurting him. Funnily enough, it seems Damien isn’t the only monster in the car that’s in an apologizing type of mood.

“I’m sorry,” The words come from Oz so suddenly that for a moment, Damien isn’t even sure anything was said.

“Did you say something?” Damien turns towards Oz as they drive down empty back streets and alleys.

“I’m sorry for making you come get me…” Oz turns his head towards Damien and with no small amount of guilt, the demon realizes Oz has been silently crying again. It’s made even worse because Oz looks somewhat sober now. With his digestive system pretty much being a void, Damien wouldn’t be surprised if the effects of the alcohol were wearing off.

“Woah, jeez Oz,” Damien is back to square one with not knowing how to deal with his friend’s emotions, “Don’t fucking- I was worried but that doesn’t-”

“It’s fine Dames,” The nickname Damien usually enjoys so much sounds dull now.

“I-I know you didn’t want to be around me the last few days,” Damien’s grip on the steering wheel tightens as he grimaces, “I-I knew you were trying to avoid me, but I just kept pushing.”

Damien wants to tell Oz that that’s not what was happening. Oz was just worried because Damien fell off the grid and just stopped showing up to see him. Oz isn’t the one at fault. Damien wants to shout that he wasn’t avoiding Oz for a good reason and that it only happened because the demon didn’t want to do something he’d regret, but he doesn’t. Saying any of that would lead to Damien admitting why he was avoiding Oz, and a confession of feelings right now would be the last thing the emotionally distraught incarnation of fear needs.

“You- You don’t have to deal with me anymore after this. I know I’m probably j-just annoying and-and clingy and just a wreck in general, so you d-don’t have to put up with me… I just...wanted to say that I’m glad you were my friend,” Damien doesn’t even know when his foot slammed down on the gas, but now they’re speeding down the road at breakneck speeds.

“Oz, for the love of god, if you don’t shut the hell up right now I don’t know what the hell I might end up doing because I am not going to deal with absolute utter bullshit coming out of your mouth,” Damien’s words come out between a hiss, snarl, and growl, “I- You- Let’s just stop talking about this alright? We’re fucking friends and you need to get that into your thick head okay? I care about you, and I sure as hell know you care about me with all the worrying you do.”

Damien looks over to his friend to make sure he gets his point, only to see a look on Oz’s face that just screams insecurity. Damien hates this look.

“You don’t have to say that just to make me feel better or anything Dames. I-I saw you with Avery this morning,” Damien’s heart clenches in apprehension and he wishes all over again that he murdered that damn succubus the moment he first laid eyes on her, “I-If she makes you happy, I’m happy. I don’t know if you were avoiding me because of her or because of me, but either way I’m happy for you. O-Or even if you aren’t… together… and it was just a one time thing, I-I just want you to know you don’t have to hide anything because of me or because you don’t want to hear what I have to say. I’ll stay quiet. I’m fine. _It’s_ fine.”

Damien doesn’t know why the last part breaks him, but it does. Without even thinking about it, Damien stomps his foot on the breaks and both monsters in the stolen car jerks forward as the vehicle halts. The steering wheel cracks from Damien’s demon strength as he tries to control his emotions and not do something irrational, stupid, and downright idiotic.

“D-Damien? Are you okay?” The thin string of control Damien was desperately holding onto breaks as he hears Oz’s stupidly considerate and kind question.

“Like hell I’m okay!” Damien snarls, turning a glare on Oz like one never seen before.

Damien does something selfish, stupid, idiotic, irrational, and terrible, but undeniably bold. Letting his overactive emotions take control, Damien lunges across the divider between the seats, closing the distance between him and Oz, and connecting their mouths in kiss.Oz freezes the moment their lips connect.

It wasn’t anything intense or long as the moment Damien realized what he was doing he pulled back. The demon scans Oz’s face for any trace of anger or disgust as he reviews the experience in his head. Oz’s mouth was stretched all across his face in a long thin line, so it didn’t quite feel like a normal kiss. It was strange and exotic, but Damien could care less when it was Oz. Speaking of Oz, Damien still needs to say his piece.

“I love you Ozzie,” Damien knows what he’s about to say will sound cheesy, but he can’t find a part of him that cares when Oz so desperately needs to hear what he has to say, “I fucking adore you because every single thing you do somehow manages to be amazing. I-I avoided you… because you said you liked somebody and I had no idea what I might do if I actually had to watch you fall in love with somebody that wasn’t me. I hated not talking seeing you with every damn fiber of my being and you have to believe me on that.”

Damien pauses his spiel only for a moment before he keeps going full force, “I was going to tell you that night on the roof when you were wearing that giant hoodie. Also, this might be off topic, but the way you look in that hoodie is amazing and I had to resist pinning you against a wall right then and there, but that’s not the point. The point is that I would never just up and ignore you because I don’t want to deal with you. You are the best goddamn thing to happen to me and I don’t think I could stay away from you for longer than a month without caving, and Avery? That bitch came on to me with some stupid magic stuff and kissed me. I gave her a black eye and I’m pretty sure she knows that if I ever see her again I will murder her. Oz… don’t even… don’t even suggest that I would ever even want to pick her over you because I will flip my shit. I like you and literally nobody else.”

Out of breath and emotionally drained by his speech, Damien searches Oz’s expression again. The smaller monster is blushing (Damien’s sure he is as well) and his eyes are blown wide with disbelief. Finally realizing he crossed a line that shouldn’t have been crossed, Damien retreats, shame filling every fiber of his being.

“Shit, Oz, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have-” As Damien starts to move backwards, Oz’s hands latch on to the front of his jacket, keeping him in place. Damien meets the eldritch being’s eyes, not knowing what to expect.

“P-Please tell me you meant all that!” Oz’s voice is so desperate and he looks so sober that Damien doesn’t quite know how to reply. Luckily, Oz doesn’t give him a chance to before he’s continuing, “Because if you didn’t and this is some type of cruel joke I really don’t think I’d be able to take it. You can’t- I can’t-”

Watching Oz search for the right words while desperately clinging to the demon is such an endearing sight that the demon can’t help blushing again. Oz is still going though.

“Dames, I don’t have a crush,” Damien’s heart sours in hope and confusion before, “Well, I do technically.”

Damien’s heart tanks just as quickly as it sours and the emotions are confusing because right after that Oz keeps going and what he says next is so unbelievable and amazing that-

“My crush was you Damien. I wanted to know how to ask  _ you _ out,” Oz doesn’t stutter once as he continues, as if his own brain and most consider the next part such a true statement that there’s not a single reason why Oz should be nervous about saying it, “I like you too. You’re so handsome and cool and everything I’m not. I never thought I had a chance before because of it. You are just… so amazing.”

Both monsters in the car, stopped in the center of the road, are staring at each other, completely silent and just soaking in the moment. Oz lets go of Damien’s jacket. Damien doesn’t move back. Oz looks down at Damien’s lips again. Damien does the same. They look each other in the eyes and it’s not really a question of what’s about to happen next.

Damien leans forward again. Oz meets him halfway there. It’s nothing particularly romantic or perfect, but it’s slow and fast paced all at the same time, sweet and harsh, and most important, it’s everything they both wanted.

Oz let’s his mouth shift until his lips fit against Damien’s as if they were only meant to do that in the first place, and Damien takes advantage of their positions by grabbing the hold of the back of Oz’s head. They kiss for as long as possible, but eventually, Damien has to pull back to take a breath. Both Damien and Oz stare at each other a moment before Damien breaks into a smirk.

“Holy fucking hell. I guess this makes you my boyfriend now huh?”

“Only if it makes you mine,” Oz has such a large lopsided grin that it would look silly if it wasn’t so amazing.

“Deal,” Damien keeps leaning over the divider between the seats without a care in the world, “Since we’ve discussed that, can we go back to making out?”

Oz blushes, “Yes please.”

Damien leans in again and he doesn’t think he’ll ever get enough of this, but he’ll sure as hell try. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I do the final confession justice?


	50. Intermissiom/Haitus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of information on why I haven't posted in a bit in the form of a badly written headcannon of the narrator being on vacation with a certain fanfic writers taking over his job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTICE! DON'T WORRY! I AM NOT DEAD! I AM VERY BUSY, BUT I AM NOT DEAD!

Next to a beach, on a quaint little boardwalk, a single person makes their way towards a tiny cafe with a hat far too big to cover their head while in a hurried trot. As the salty sea air of the resort breaks through the ever present chatter of the streets, they open the door to the small shop. The bell on the door rings, signaling to everyone inside that somebody new has decided to take refuge from the blaring sun with them.

The barista of the coffee shop stops cleaning off the counter to wave their arms in the air, all eight of them. With a slight, almost unnoticeable shudder at the arachnid person, the newcomer smiles and steps in further while continuing to look around.

Not many people are inside the establishment at the moment. There’s a gargoyle desperately typing something on their computer in one corner, a duo of pixies sharing a sundae in the other, and a towering ork with a jug of iced tea large enough to crush a normal person’s head at a moment’s notice. Gulping at the very non-subtle way the ork glares at the intruder to the quiet, Teterere is suddenly very happy that they’re just a husk imagined into this story and not an actual person who can be hurt or killed. Otherwise, a human walking into bar full of monsters wouldn’t only be stupid, but also suicidal.

Don’t get them wrong, monsters were cool and everything. The entirety of the monster prom students were  _ awesome,  _ but those exact same examples also serve to be reasons that they should not trust any of the monsters they wrote into this world. With a slighted sigh, Teterere hopes that their real life counterpart won’t decide to kill them off brutally after this little one-off chapter just to make sure they stay away from the canon. Actually, it would probably just be more merciful if their real life creator just decided to take them out of this story when all is done and said and just pops them into another… less stabby one. Man, that would be just great.

“Tetre!!” 

At the convenient shortening of their title known as a nickname, Teterere turns their attention to the one person they haven’t noticed until now. Tucked in a booth hidden in the back, right next to the window, is an amorphous grey man without a face wearing a black tophat. Without another moment’s wait, Teterere practically sprints to the booth before taking a hasty seat.

“Narrator, what did I say about public spaces!” Is the first thing a peeved Teterere whispers violently at the only other truly meta character, “I already told you I don’t know if my omniscient twin made me immortal or not here! I know you’re chill, but  _ they _ might decide that the best way to end this chapter is throwing me under the metaphorical, but also maybe literal bus! If I’m going to die, I at least want it to be hard for them to write!”

  
  


**{Damn, I really made my figurehead a wimp didn’t I…? Oops!}**

“HEY!” Teterere looks up into the air and shouts indignantly, “I am not a wimp! I just have survival instincts! I know I won’t permanently die even if you do kill me, but that doesn’t mean I’m a masochist!”

**{...We’re literally the same person. I’m not going to just kill you off for the funsies.}**

“Well excuse me if I don’t believe you after that bloodbath of an essay you wrote back in-”

“I believe vacation is supposed to be relaxing,” Narrator cuts off Teterere’s argument with their other self with an awkward cough, “Then again, you did send me on quite the thrillseaker’s idea of a vacation. Not that I’m complaining, I am completely thankful to get out of the routine of that horrible school for a couple months.”

“Oh yeah,” Teterere immediately calms down to smile at the grey man, “You just got back from France didn’t you?”

“Switzerland,” Narrator corrects with a tip of his hat, “Turns out I’m actually quite the skilled skier. I went down one of the black diamond slopes easily.”

“Wow,” Teterere sounds impressed, “Those are supposed to be a pain in the arse for real. Tell the truth, how many times did you faceplant?”

Narrator tilts his head to the side in amusement, “I don’t know. Why don’t you have-”

**{You nailed it the first time. Now stop fishing for compliments.}**

Narrator shrugs, “Eh, I tried. How about we order some drinks before we get into the nitty gritty fourth wall stuff?”

Teterere nods with a sigh, “That sounds great, I haven’t drank anything since I manifested on the beach with nothing but vague instructions of where to go.”

**{I already got it. Double espresso for Narrator, and a caramel latte for my physical in-world duplicate.}**

Teterere groans, “Tell me again why I’m here when you’re perfectly capable of talking to everyone and everything yourself.”

**{Style and atmosphere. The two most important parts about writing. Well, other than good characterization, good plot, helpful interactions, development-}**

“Hey, here’s some coffee!” Rushing forward, the arachnid barista from earlier sets down two large cups, “Somebody named Teterere 1.0 just bought these for you. It was the strangest thing I swear! The money and order just appeared on the counter when I wasn’t looking. I hope that was just your friend and not another eldritch abomination though. Those guys might be older than me by a couple decades, but they should know by now that the head of my worst enemy is not considered a tip.”

As if suddenly realizing he’s been talking for too long, the man rushes away nervously, not looking back while he rushes back to the counter. Teterere shudders again and the Narrator gives them a sympathetic look.

**{As an arachnophobe, I hate myself so much for making him a spider person.}**

“As your double, I hate you for making me have arachnophobia and then making the barista a spider person,” Teterere curses their writer, “Seriously, what do you not understand about me not being a masochist?!”

“Hey, both of you,” Narrator cuts in, “We’ve got our coffee, now how about we discuss the future of my vacation and your ongoing story?”

**{...Do we have to?}**

“I swear if you put me in a world full of genocidal maniacs with magic and guns to make a point without making said point, I will find a way to get revenge. I promise you that,” Teterere threatens seriously.

**{Jeez, fine. I gave you the script. Go ahead. I’ll just shut up and sit back for now}**

“Thank you,” Both the Narrator and Teterere say at the same time before glancing at each other approvingly.

“Well, getting back on the topic of my visit,” Teterere takes a huge chug of their coffee before even beginning to speak, “I heard you and the audience had some questions.”

“Ah yes, back on track,” Narrator takes a polite sip of his drink, “Well, I just noticed that you haven’t updated since before Christmas. I was wondering if you're done after that rather satisfying chapter of confession and if I might need to go back to narrating this story myself.”

Teterere nods understandably, “Don’t worry about that. There are a set amount of chapters planned and they will get around to being posted. As for the whole since before early December posting things, a lot of things came up. There actually was a planned Christmas special, but it didn’t end up being started in time. That among other problems not only wrecked the writing schedule, but also just other normal stuff in my life too.”

“May I ask what it was?” Narrator takes a sip while curiously eyeing the person sitting across from him, “The problem, I mean.”

“Four words. Pandemic, work, big project,” Teterere laughs, “Take that as you will, but it pretty much means I’ve been swamped with so much work that I’m surprised I did as much as I did. Plus, that’s not even mentioning the fact the holiday season was still going on.”

“So… does that mean you’re quitting on this story?” Narrator asks with a raised brow.

“What?! NO, no, no, no, no,” Frantically, Teterere shakes their head, “I will finish this story. It’s just being put on the back burner for now!”

“Excuse me if I’m prying, but may I ask for clarification on that?” Narrator clears his throat.

“Absolutely,” Teterere nods, “You see, the big project and everything else weren’t just a big holiday thing, they’re still going strong. I plan to update and write as much as possible, but considering my normal work also takes a lot of writing, I have to space things sparingly. I don’t want to end up burning out completely and giving up! I would absolutely despise myself for doing that. I don’t like leaving things…  _ unfinished… _ ”

“Hmm, so what I’m hearing…” Narrator chuckles, “Is that I get an even longer vacation than what I thought?”

**{Yep!}**

Teterere sighs again, “You couldn’t help yourself could you other me?”

**{Are you kidding me?! I almost never get to break the fourth wall this much! It’s like I’m being freed to be meeeeeee!}**

“I swear, they created me, and somehow I’m the mature one,” Teterere sighs, “How does that even work? We’re literally the same person.”

“They always say people are different on the internet than real life right?” Narrator offers, “Maybe that’s what this is a case of.”

Teterere snickers, “Oh, that’s perfect! Please say that to my face in real life! That is just too good!”

**{Hey! Stop laughing! I created you! I demand respect!}**

“Before you both start getting off topic again,” Narrator sounds so done with this whole mess, “Can you tell me when you might start uploading again?”

“Oh, dang, I almost forgot about that question,” Teterere snaps their fingers, “Well, the earliest time will be the end of January. Sorry, but work comes before passion. I hope you can forgive me.”

“That’s not really up for me to decide is it?” Narrator snorts, “You’ve got a whole different crowd to be worried about.”

“You’re telling me,” Teterere grumbles before solid air hits the back of their head like a slap, “Hey! What was that for?!”

**{Don’t be mean to the fans! They don’t have to read what I write! If you’re rude they might realize they don’t have to stick around and decide to leave! Do you want that?}**

“No…” Teterere sinks into her seat and takes another sip of their drink.

“Well, as entertaining as this is,” The Narrator stands up, “I have paragliding at five and then a spa appointment at seven. I need to be going.”

“Oh yes. You have all kinds of things planned before you have to go back to Spooky high don’t you?” Teterere laughs, “Well, don’t let me hold you back.”

**{Yeah, we’ll just be heading out now.}**

“Wait, does that mean I’m…” Teterere trails off as they watch their arms start to fade away into dust just like a certain movie, “Oh come on! I just got here!”

**{Sorry not sorry. We’ve got places to be and things to do!”**

“At least make sure the next story you self insert me into is a slice of life okay! I don’t want to be in another galactic war!” Just as Teterere finishes talking, they pop out of existence.

Narrator just chuckles as he heads towards the door, “Writers… it's always so dramatic.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, you read all that. Sry. I will most likely be back to updating by the end of January to early Febuary. The story will be completed though, so don't worry about me dropping it or anything stupid like that.
> 
> Also, on another note, for those who wanted to know what the plot to the Christmas special that never got written was, here's a quick summary.
> 
> -Calculester and Zoe get dragged into a holiday extravaganza by Amira and Vicky and hilariously misunderstand traditions 
> 
> -Zoe finds out about mistletoe
> 
> -Polly plans yet another party and drags the main and playable characters into a gift exchange. (Note: By gift exchange I mean that everyone bought everyone gifts. Not that they drew names from a hat or something)
> 
> -Oz manages to figure out the perfect gift for all his friends except his boyfriend, but don't worry, he has his sights on something special.
> 
> -Meanwhile, while Oz is embracing the winter spirit, Damien has no idea what to get for him. He's just going to give everybody else something stupid, but his boyfriend actually deserves something nice.
> 
> -Slayer/Aaravi reluctantly teams up with Damien so they can figure something to buy for their friends. Aaravi needs something for Dahlia and Damien needs something for Oz.
> 
> -Oz goes on a perilous yet somehow anticlimatic quest to get a magical electric guitar for Damien. The guitar is magical because no matter how many times you break the instrument it will mend itself back together. 
> 
> -Damien then goes on a much more interesting quest to steal a camera that can catch any species in it's photos by picking a fight with Jack Frost and screwing him over.
> 
> -Christmas Eve starts and the gift exchange is about to start when Jack Frost finds Damien and attacks Oz's house with a blizzard.
> 
> -The witches of the Coven show up out of nowhere to fight Jack, but Oz and co are still stuck inside.
> 
> -As tensions ger higher and the fighting outside gets worse, Oz tries to calm everyone down by leaving to make coco with Calculester, only to back up to see a very unlikely visitor. Guess who? KRAMPUS!
> 
> -Once again, the confluct is very anticlimatic as all the teen monsters proceed to viciously make fun of the poor demon until he runs back home crying.
> 
> -Everyone laughs and exchanges gifts happily. Damien gets an absurd amount of knives from his friends, Vera just gives everyone cash, Vicky makes everyone something, Caluclester actually gives people things they want, and Polly just gives everybody a personal coupon books. Damien and Oz trade their gifts last and both of them are sickenly adorable about it.
> 
> -Christmas morning comes and Jack Frost is finally defeated by the Covin. As everyone heads out on their way, Amira frowns at Oz and asks him if he couldn't just have used a normal poleroid camera to take pictures with. Oz only laughs and says that it's the thought that counts.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a passion project that I came up with in like three days. Some chapter will just be little short bits that I think would be cute and others forward the plot. Holiday specials will also be added on the days of. 
> 
> I've decided to post my headcannons at the end of the story because some might spoil the plot.


End file.
